existennialmemes

[existennialmemes]

Today I impressed a random cashier by expertly handling a heavy bag, so nothing you say can hurt me. I will be riding this high all day.

Cashier: [watching me shove an irresponsible amount of bottles and cans into a single reusable bag] Careful that looks really heavy.

Me: [hoisting it effortlessly into my cart] it's ok, I like to pack them really full

Cashier: [in wide eyed amazement] You just picked that up like it was nothing!!

Me: Yeah, I'm a little stronger than I look

Cashier: [still amazed] You just picked that up like it was nothing!!!

[existennialmemes]

Me: I am but a silly little jester. I am here to spread frivolity and make you laugh

My Posting History: Here's 19 essays in a row on problems that afflict this wretched existence

[existennialmemes]

I too advocate for the apparently deeply radical notion that you should have to tell me everything that is in my food, so I can decide for myself whether or not I want and am able to eat it.

And if this sounds like an unreasonable request to you, then I need you to understand that humans can be allergic or have other kinds of adverse reactions to LITERALLY ANYTHING.

The only way to help ensure that your product won't inadvertently harm someone, is to tell us every single ingredient that's literally in there.

Not to mention some people just don't like to eat certain things and they have a right to control their own food intake even if not doing so won't actually, physically harm them.

We all deserve autonomy over the foods we eat

sorry to be brave on the internet but I think food labels should list every single ingredient and that there should be harsher penalties for mislabeling and deceptive labeling

[existennialmemes]

Incipient Morning, everyone! Have a day!

[existennialmemes]

I think meditation can be useful in some cases for some people, I think we often do more damage with it than good, because we teach it wrong, and we don't warn people that eyes closed meditations can be contraindicated for certain populations, or what signs to watch out for to see if you might be in those populations.

And I've rambled about all that before, but today I wanna ramble about how weird and it is that eyes closed meditations became the poster child for stress relief instead of the actual star of show (ok for some folks they're costars, but that's not the point of this ramble) which is learning effective breathing patterns.

And you do not need to meditate to do this. You can watch TV, listen to podcasts, whatever. You do not need to focus inward or clear your thoughts or aggravate the hypervigilance response by closing your eyes.

There are lots of different techniques and postures you can do this in, but the most basic iteration: Lie flat on your back with knees bent, feet flat on the floor or couch or bed or wherever you're doing this.

You could also sit up tall in a comfortable chair. But, if you're doing this in a chair be mindful of your posture. We want to keep the ribs stacked over the pelvis because this alignment helps the pelvic floor (which also plays an important role in breathing) and the diaphragm coordinate. Which can be easier to approach at first while laying flat on your back, but do what's right for you.

It can be helpful to place a hand on your belly or your hands to each side of your ribs to help you pay attention to if those areas are actually moving in response to your breath.

A lot of us, due to a myriad of different factors, do not breathe in coordination with all of the different muscles that are supposed to coordinate our breath. We can notice this by noticing which areas of our body expand on our inhale. We should feel expansion not only in our belly and chest, but the sides of our ribs and our back too. We should expand 360° all the way around our torso when we inhale. Most of us don't, that's ok, don't get hung up on that.

The idea is to inhale and try to bring our awareness to these muscles that may not be coordinating correctly. Just by touching them as we breathe can help remind our brains to use them. And then exhale as fully as you can, without being forceful or making yourself dizzy.

Your exhale should be at least as long as your inhale was but ideally even longer. This might be uncomfortable at first, don't force it, build towards longer exhalations over time.

And what does this do? This helps make sure our diaphragm, the most important muscle that controls our breathing, can do is job right.

And why should you care about that? Because it activates the vagus nerve and tells the brain "everything is cool, please shift into Relax Mode."

This is not a magic fix for stress. It can however help regulate the nervous system and can be an effective tool in mediating the stress responses.

And this should be the thing we teach everybody instead of eyes closed meditation which requires so very many extra steps that aren't really helpful or safe for everybody.

[existennialmemes]

Ladies and Gentlemen: Not gender inclusive

Ladies, Gentlemen, and Distinguished Guests: Gender inclusive, but lacks pazazz

Ladies, Gentlemen, Distinguished Guests, and the rest of you Feral Losers (affectionate): Gender Inclusive with a pleasant ring to the ear

[existennialmemes]

I'll never get over how fucking absurd our existence is, like just mechanically speaking.

You know how, if you're in an airplane and a window gets smashed the catastrophic change in pressure sucks all the air in the cabin through the hole, because the plane is a more pressurized environment? Well this is literally the same mechanism through which we breathe.

As we inhale our diaphragm contracts downwards causing an increase of volume within our lungs, which also decreases the pressure therein.

This causes the air around our mouths to get pulled inside our lungs, just like the air in a plane is pulled through the hole in the window. Because upon inhalation, our lungs become a lower pressure environment vs the outside.

And likewise, upon exhalation the diaphragm relaxes back up, which decreases the volume in our lungs, and increases the pressure therein, therefore pushing the air back out to the now lower pressure environment outside.

And I'm sorry maybe it's just me, but I can't get over how fucking absurd and cool it is that our lungs create tiny catastrophic decompression events every single time we breathe.

[existennialmemes]

All of the people responding to this like "but we have to vote for the lesser evil" are skirting over the point. I'm asking if there is any line which can't be crossed.

Are there any behaviors a democrat could engage in that would make you feel they are unfit for office?

And if there's not, then the concept of a "lesser" evil loses all meaning. If there is no point at which someone's actions can be considered "too evil" then we just approach infinity and the lesser part becomes rounding error.

That is not "harm reduction." It is actually harm normalization. By supporting a "lesser" evil , no matter how much harm they commit, you are saying that the harm is permissible. You are saying that it is an acceptable consequence instead of an uncrossable line.

And if every harm is an acceptable consequence and the only details to sort out are the quantity of them, what is the point of your politics?

If you honestly have absolutely no lines that can't be crossed. If your only concern is that one side wants to do slightly less harm, then you're saying you're actually ok with the other side's plans, you only object to their timescale.

Vote Blue No Matter Who folks, gather round, I have a very serious question for you:

What are your deal breakers? What are the things a democratic candidate could do or say that would cause you to not support them?

If your answer is "Nothing! Because at least they're better than the republicans!"

Congratulations, this means your politics are not guided by your moral conscience, but instead by, what's known in psychology as "ingroup bias"

You trust Your Team™ no matter what they say or do. You simply think Your Team members are always better than the Opposing Team members

So Your Teammate could do something horrible that violates your values, like idk as totally random examples maybe they enabled a genocide or destroyed homeless people's vital belongings with their bare hands, but you will continue to support them based solely on your belief that they must be better than the Opposing Team, because they are Your Team.

And so you let Your Teammate get away with the same kinda things that caused you to hate the Opposing Team to begin with, just because your brain is doing backflips to continue believing that Your Team is always righteous and good.

You need to dig this bias out of your brain and destroy it. It is a parasite that is manipulating you into working against your own best interests, not to mention everyone else's too.

[existennialmemes]

"Testosterone is the evil, poisonous hormone that just makes people violent and angry!!"

Meanwhile, Testosterone:

I'm begging everyone to understand that there is nothing inherently "bad" about any of our natural hormones. We need all of them, and different people require different ratios between them, but none of our hormones are actually "bad."

[existennialmemes]

Vote Blue No Matter Who folks, gather round, I have a very serious question for you:

What are your deal breakers? What are the things a democratic candidate could do or say that would cause you to not support them?

If your answer is "Nothing! Because at least they're better than the republicans!"

Congratulations, this means your politics are not guided by your moral conscience, but instead by, what's known in psychology as "ingroup bias"

You trust Your Team™ no matter what they say or do. You simply think Your Team members are always better than the Opposing Team members

So Your Teammate could do something horrible that violates your values, like idk as totally random examples maybe they enabled a genocide or destroyed homeless people's vital belongings with their bare hands, but you will continue to support them based solely on your belief that they must be better than the Opposing Team, because they are Your Team.

And so you let Your Teammate get away with the same kinda things that caused you to hate the Opposing Team to begin with, just because your brain is doing backflips to continue believing that Your Team is always righteous and good.

You need to dig this bias out of your brain and destroy it. It is a parasite that is manipulating you into working against your own best interests, not to mention everyone else's too.

[existennialmemes]

This was, of course, a rookie mistake. Due to their privileged access to healthcare, their innards were quite beautiful (for entrails)

A witch has cast a curse on the royal family to "make them as ugly on the outside as they are on the inside." She is shocked to return later and discover that they've all become extraordinarily beautiful.

[existennialmemes]

i just wanted to say that sometimes i get your posts on my dash and i always think it’s neat how you write them. the bolding adds a lot of personality imo-

that’s it that’s the ask happy timezone and live life to its fullest forever and ever ✧ദ്ദി( ˶^ᗜ^˶ )

Thank you for saying so!

The bolding helps me parse my thoughts and visually parse the text (as I reread it 400x to analyze whether the words I've chosen are effectively conveying the thought I'm trying to express 😅) Happy Timezone and a Pleasant Existence to you too 💜💜

[existennialmemes]

A lot of folks do not want to unlearn the oppressive tactics of the carceral state. They just want to feel justified that they are using those tactics against the "correct" people.

We see this in the microcosm of social media all the time. People want punishments rained down for even the slightest of mistakes. They do not want to put effort into conflict resolution or community building or restorative justice.

They just want to inflict suffering for every perceived wrong, no matter how inconsequential And I'm not saying that heinous things never happen, I'm saying those are the exception.

We all need to fight this instinct in ourselves. Most people are not guilty of the heinous crimes that everyone wants to "whatabout" about.

You need to accept that the majority of conflict resolution should not be focused on punishment.

Punishment does not change behaviors. Punishment does not strengthen communities.

This does not mean perpetrators get away with everything, it means the focus is on actually repairing the harms done and making any changes necessary to prevent those harms from being repeated, by the same person or others.

We should be focused on healing not on inflicting suffering on all transgressors. The desire to hurt people is not an instinct we should be nurturing in response to disagreement

That doesn't mean never defend yourself, but it means that if you're just waiting for someone to fuck up because you're desperate for an excuse to hurt them, that's a problem in you.

And I feel like I really have to reiterate that I am talking about the majority of interpersonal conflicts that occur within a healthy society.

I am not talking about abuse and torture and other truly heinous acts, so please try to stay focused on the actual topic here.

[existennialmemes]

[existennialmemes]

Me: [looking for infused garlic oil recipes]

Random Recipe Blog #1: Two cups oil, eight individual cloves of garlic

Me: This sounds disappointing. You sound disappointing. Your entire bloodline sounds disappointing.

Random Recipe Blog #2: Two cups of oil, three entire heads of garlic

Me: You. You, I trust with my life.

[existennialmemes]

Cannot believe I'm a silly little meat sack pulsing with electricity, on a planet which grows both food and drugs, as a member of a social and highly cooperative species and yet I am stuck in a reality that is controlled by the worst collection of carbon molecules to ever become organized.

[existennialmemes]

I'm starting a new cult philosophical school of thought. "Flat Egoism" which proposes that the psyche is actually flat. Character growth is impossible, so I don't have to do any hard things.

I know this is true, because I like believing it.