#maybe i just need to wait a couple days
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Welp, looks like my pc that I got just a year ago crapped on me :(
#i swear#im so annoyed#it turns on but nothing is happening#maybe i just need to wait a couple days#idk 😭😭😭#i just wanted to finished the gifset i was gonna make for my milestone#sorry for taking so long#but looks like it gonna take longer now
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Yessir, boss man! See you on the other side. o7
#i need to work on my schedule because im always tired and its later in the day when i finish these so i head to befd#now i have to wait :grr: /j#the palette will shift for a bit before i get it down so if it looks weird dw about it#love him so much heas so sillay#[you've got mail!]#spamton#spamton g spamton#deltarune#deltarune spamton#deltarune chapter 2#waiting for you......... because hes so. attached.... this time i felt nice and it was maybe a couple hours or so rather than days#whatever.... kicks a rock......... /j#eeby aurghhh#there was only one related ask so if the answer is not the best thats why loll nobody sent any for AFTER he came back#just be under the assumption that this was sent and then came through to him /later/
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Thinking about a character model height sheet from the TAS BTS book that had magneto be 6’10 and charles 4’8 when seated like girl ……….. why the fuck ……. greedy….
#snap chats#if i say anything ill be kicked out of this thester#evidently hes a lot more READONABLY sized in everything else but im never getting over this#also i had to stop this post mid type cause they showin the superman trailer ….. i fear im already seated for this movie …#this aint bout that tho superman ily but im insane postin rn ANYWAY#WHY ARE YOU SO TALL STOP#6’10 IS EGREGIOUS also i HAVE. to clarify this isnt magneto’s height in general. i think……..#if it is i need to hit him with an axe what the fuck stop 6’10 is GREEDY#ik charles is meant to be 6’1 when standing. and 4’8 when not …..#either way ……. hes not small eriks just a goliath apparently 😭#the model sheet this was for was for that one xmen movie with kitty ???#i was actually gonna watch that a couple days ago but i was busy with schoolwork so i pushed it aside#maybe ill watch that sunday … or while im on the train to the city tomorrow idk#ok anyway im gonna sit here and think of their egregious height and body type difference while i wait for this movie#it was supposed to start half an hour ago dawg i HATE ‘movie start times’ like dont fuckin lie to me#oh of COURSE AS SOON AS I START BITCHING THE MOVIE STARTS OK BYE#they didnt want my brain on BULLSHIT OK BYE FR MOVIE TIME DOEISSJ
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(vent in the tags) me thinking i've finally escaped financial problems: :DDDDD
life:
#idk why the image pasted like that but anyways haha im once again in a fucking pit#last month i was able to accumulate enough savings from collectively work and also other stuff#so i have a bit of extra in case of emergencies and additional expenses like taxes and stuff#but then guess who decided to not tell me he can't send me money by the end of the month - the time when i have to pay rent?#:DDD my beloved father#so i end up using the savings to pay for it#and i dont blame him or im not mad at him at all#especially because sending me money is already enough of a privilege that not a lot of people have#but at the very least if you don't think you can send me money can't you just tell me?#that way i can work for it???#because now im literally sitting with no money with food running out quickly in the fridge#i can't pick up a shift because whether its out of town or in my city it doesn't matter#i have no way to transport myself there other than on foot or on my bike#and i cant even cycle there without eating otherwise i'd basically sentence myself to death#so im trying to get by without eating for a couple of days right now but its just#sigh#i keep telling my father that i don't blame him and im not mad at him if he can't send me money when i need him to#but please tell me because i literally cannot take a shift this month because i need to study for the exams#and if i fail these exams i literally have one more chance to do them or else i have to repeat a year#which is going to cost us more in the long run#and just#yeah#maybe the hunger is getting to my head#im not going to open emergency comms this time because technically speaking i do have a job i can do#its just i need to just wait for the money that was supposed to be in my bank account to be sent#so i can eat and also i can have money for transportation#haku vents#venting#yeah no im just not in a good spot right now#apologies to mutuals and friends if i can't be on often
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a friend who'd wait :)
#im posting this very late because i was sort of weary of how it came out and ended up messing w it until it was like 4am oops.#and i have plans tmrw so... oh well! i did my best and ill put it out while i can!#and i tried to make the scene match barnard's colors lol#finn's ocs#finn's art#i know i said id do more sillay stuff with the simpler screentone only style but i had a couple more of these in me#and this is the first piece im making thats like an actual part of the story too rather than just setting stuff for fun#i wanna write something to go with it too but for now ill just sort of briefly explain the context in the tags here:#barnard has a pretty bad case of OCD and his compulsions have made it difficult to make friends in the past#he was never outright bullied or anything but people just didnt really have the patience to deal with it#he has compulsions that include stuff like walking through doors until it feels right and needing things to be perfectly aligned#which in group settings has lead to people having to wait for him to finish his rituals and join them#they might find it tolerable at first but eventually they grow impatient and hes just... not invited to stuff anymore#but juno is a newer member of the guild who ends up frequenting the same library. hes also kinda a little weird#and they dont become fast friends or anything but just sort of naturally spend time in the same place#though they never plan meetups they eventually fall into a routine. around the same time theyd just both be at the library#and read next to each other. and maybe talk a bit. and eventually they end up walking back to the guildhall together#since theyre going to the same place after all. and juno always waits for barnard outside the door#eventually barnard asks if this bothers him. juno kinda just tells him 'of course it does' without any malice or anything. just a statement#barnard is surprised and apologizes and juno says not to. but the next day juno doesnt show up at the usual time.#barnard assumes hes committed somekinda more by bringing it up. he ends up staying there late reading to get his mind off it & not ruminate#but when he leaves juno is in fact still waiting for him down the hall (see pic) having collected a bunch of books literally abt ocd#he fell asleep bc barnard stayed later than expected. and hes an eepy guy generally. and also one very bad at expressing himself#but now barnard gets that juno's 'of course it [bothers me]' had the implication of 'but its worth it' which no friend has previously done.#and from the interaction juno was also able to understand that this isn't something barnard just does for the hell of it so. he studies.#and checks a bunch of stuff out because he thinks it could help his friend too (theres ocd workbooks and such- i remember working w them)#and thats the point where they became more ''friends'' than ''pleasant library acquaintances''#from there on they also do get into juno's problems. whole other bag of worms. but this specific scene is more about bernard from his pov#sorry about when i said briefly explain. i lied </3#but compared to the whole sequence im picturing its brief so shhh
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farewell, my idiot son…
#(aka my switch’s internals got fried so the repair shop had to format it to revive it: the tragicomedy)#(wait no on further inspection they seemed to have just given up on fixing it and gave me a whole other switch instead. lmao.)#(i wonder what happened to my old switch though…)#(farewell to all of my save data… thank heavens i didnt transfer anything over from past gens of pkmn)#(but aaaaaaaaa this shiny goo was a christmas present from a former acquaintance… rip squish you wouldve loved kimikawaii mv)#man… these past couple of days have been a *l o t*.#shoutout to [job recruitment company employee] who sent me a ‘hey the job wants you :)’ message#at the exact same time that i submitted a job application form for another company. it truly was a strange coincidence i think…#but… ehe… the… the job that wants me is offering $1k more than the monthly base salary i asked for… is… is this really ok…?#nothing’s confirmed yet. but. y’know. s t i l l . is it really ok for me to get paid so much for a job that lets me skip the morning commute#and while im still reeling from all of yesterday’s happenings… squish my dear shiny goo will never be seen again…#switch save system my b e l o a t h e d#so. long story short. take good care of your gadgets and gizmos guys.#then again. maybe im not the best person to say this… i mean. i’ve bricked like. 3 personal laptops in my lifetime…#and a phone sim card. and 2-3 nokia phones. and 3 android phones. and a tablet. and—#so. yeah. uh. it’s a good idea to take care of your stuff. especially if they’re fragile.#anyway. in memoriam of squish my idiot son im gonna try to find another shiny in sv this time. i hope i can find another…#but aaaaa the map in sv is pretty huge. um. i got lost like 10 times before even making it to school…#the friends are all just. so. friend-shaped. though… i like the sandwich pal. he has priorities.#looking forward to seeing how this story unfolds thoughh. i saw spoilers on twt but i need to know how the story even unfolds bc aaaa#ok that’s it idol sengen tl is now on an extended hiatus (ch 35 has just 7 pages left to go) till i complete this game. whenever it may be.#see y’all then~~~~~~~~~~~
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I think about that tiktok trend where you like paint your partners eye color on your nails or make a bracelet or something with the color a lot actually
#like its so cute honestly but sometimes i wonder how hard it would actually be to like find the right color match#maybe one day... but for now probably expect oc art with this trend in it maybe 💀#the thing about it too is i have like dark eyes and idk if ive ever seen like a dark brown nail polish. beads or thread yeah but ya#oh nvm i googled. it exists i just dont pay attention ig#OH you know what i can do... i can paint pepperonis eye color on my nails.... my baby... my kitty......#dude it feels like 5 am why is it only 2#amyways. 4 monsters was a big mistake i think... i feel quite icky...#it doesnt help i didnt eat for a majority of the day it was just monster. im really unhealthy. need water maybe#wait i was talking about nail polish how did i get here#i just want to actually do cute couple things. i must heal. im gonna be so healthy.#its fine. lmao. i just know im not ready#oh i did eat btw dont worry lmao i had. chicken nuggets#i actually have to eat more bc i need to gain back some weight or they wont let me donate plasma#my extra pokemon money..... nawr...#i dropped like 10 pounds. my current job is very physical. lots of scuttling around.#i thought about working out too? i had a short phase last year in like spring or something where i started doing workout type stuff#so like.. maybe. probably should. healtly mindset shit yk#i also maybe want some more clothes. like update my wardrobe a bit. really figure out my style.#like some cool shirts and maybe pants. cause i wear a lot of the same stuff#also again. dropped weight so. need better fitting pants.....#i want more mens pants. big pockets... gender....#anyways. nice chatting with you besties. love you guys my silly little tumblr besties.#some of you that follow this sideblog have supported me on here for a while. i see you. i appreciate you. thank you 💖#genuinely there are names that pop up and im like !! hello!!! its you!!!!!#you guys probably know who you are. go get yourself a little treat you deserve it. or like. idk what you enjoy.#play a good game. watch your favorite show. idk. be happy. love yourself.#this also goes out to those of you who are more passive on my blog. i appreciate you too!! thank you!#all my little tumblr followers.... my besties..... unles you are a bot i havent cleared out lmao#k i might have to go to bed idk im tired well see
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. not snz
on healing and on fear (tags)
#(typed this up at 3am and scheduling for later) no one needs to read this 🙏#today i went back to the site where i got injured back in may to partake in a sport which i haven't touched at all since the injury#and i think what struck me was the realization that#i don't know if i'll ever be able to stop being scared again :')#for a time climbing was very special to me...#it was one of the only ways i could feel myself improving so tangibly when improvement is usually so difficult to track#i liked seeing myself get better at something 😭 i liked going with friends and puzzling over the same problems... i liked having something#to look forward to after work. and perhaps having something to look forward to sounds simple... but for me it meant so much :')#for the first couple months after the injury i couldn't wait to get back into it#and then one day i woke up and i was just afraid#the fear feels so much more tangible now that i know i am not overreacting... it's awful knowing that in a way i was right to be afraid#i always knew there were risks associated; i have always been cautious#but i had just been starting to learn to be braver 😭#and fuck... today i stood there and looked at the wall and thought. how can i ever not be afraid again?#how can i go back to how things were before? when i loved this? when i could tell myself that - despite the fear - it was meaningful to try#i wanted to come away with the takeaway that i could take things slowly and get back into climbing - maybe precisely because#i remember so keenly how i loved it - but how could it ever be the same?#😭 i know this is just part of growing up but#in some ways i am tired of growing up... :') in some ways i just want that joy as it was then#delete later probably#i suppose i haven't lost anything but typing this made me sob for something i couldn't quite name
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NOOO IMAGINE SHIN CRYING TO SLEEP BECAUSE HE MISSES SAINT HE IS FRUSTRATED THAT HE DID WHAT HE DID BUT HE CANT HELP BUT MISS HIM AND ITS FRUSTRATING STOOOP
AHHH ANON WHY WOULD U GIVE ME THIS VISUAL, especially because it's definitely happened 😭😭
like it's easier for shin to not miss him (or at least bury that feeling) during the day, when he's got his facade up, feigning nonchalance, and there's other people to fight and things to worry about.
but then come night he's just so so desperately lonely, exhausted from a day spent pretending everything is okay, first with his friends at school, then with his mum at home (who accepts a lot of things but would never accept what he's feeling now). so at night shrouded by darkness, he can't help but look over to the side (saint's side) , and just finally let the tears fall, because of course he's angry and hurt and a myriad of other things, but above all he just misses his best friend so damn much 😭😭
#high school frenemy#saintshin#like saint rlly was HIS person until one day he just wasn't???#that can't not have been traumatising as hell 😭#we saw how insane obsessed dependent saint was#but you can FEEL how shin is exactly the same in all the little details#i can imagine especially in the first couple months after the fight#shin waiting and hoping almost every single day (and then crying himself to sleep almost every single night)#and as time passes it doesn't happen as often#but there will still be the bad days where he can't stop thinking about saint#maybe it'll be a familiar scent or he'll pass by one of the places they used to spend time together#or maybe it'll just be a day when he needs the comfort#his brain overriding the memories of THAT day in favour of cherishing the thousands of other memories he has of saint ingrained in his mind#because saint brought him joy when he had none#and despite everything there's still nothing that can comfort him better#but then sometimes reality will hit a little too soon#and it'll be another night spent with tear tracks staining his cheeks#lam.text#sknn asks#asks
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i would really appreciate it if i didn't have a brain that thought torturing me was a helpful response to being scared of us. im your copilot stop fucking tazing me you dick
#good fucking god. im going to crawl out of bed now that was all so pointless#what they never tell you about mental illness is what a massive waste of your time it is. jfc you stupid asshole#i hate you intrusive thoughts i hate you i hate you i hate you. die.#all the rest of it too tbh but those in particular. haunted by the knowledge that i will never be able to fight my limbic system or whateve#like brass knuckle fucking bike chain with the lock on bat with nails in it etc. absolutely sick of that guy idc how sympathetic he is#that motherfucker needs to pay for what he's done to me and im not joking even a little bit#ugh im going to go distract myself with something stupid now. whatever#edit im adding in some of the good things that happened today bc it was actually good and i feel better now :v#we got our first proper snow of the season so i got to go walk around in that. twas beautiful and my dogs were very cute#the last couple of times it snowed here i was too depressed/burnt out/whatever to like. go have fun in it#and it's our first snow w hoagie obviously (and maybe his first snow bc he's like. 1 y/o)#im still on break and ive been vaguely if not very un-vaguely tormented by the prospect of registering for classes#even though i think they start in like. 2 days.#combined w the need to do like. a comedically large amount of dishes. like nothing to eat on for days bc of my ass amounts#am i registered for classes? no. but im working on the unforseen obstacle in question and i feel better bc of that#waiting on an email feels a lot comfier than sitting on smth very urgent without knowing its exact deadline (<- too scared to look) unable#to bring yourself to do it yknow? and the dishes got done. small miracles#like today was good my brain just ambushed me again
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Survived today somehow? And things are actually going like really well for me?????? Knock on wood
#everything was falling apart with my classes and internship and I was so scared I wasn’t gonna graduate on time for like 5 different reasons#but then it all just kinda fell perfectly into place#but god I am so exhausted from all the stress#also my new psychiatrist is amazing and I’m switching to new meds.. on my Zoloft arc….. we’ll see how it goes#I’m a little nervous but very hopeful!#I have a new internship now! and it’s the internship I wanted from the beginning! and not one that I dread doing!#I ate alone at a sit-down restaurant today and it was very pleasant#I sent so many emails today also oh my god#beleugehh#now the only main stressor left is my grad school application#but my letters of rec should be taken care of now!#I have one done and another reference who will write one tomorrow if needed#but I’m gonna give my original choices a day or so to respond#just bc they know me better in an academic sense than my voice teacher lol. love her though and it’s maybe a good perspective to have#people (especially older people like admissions staff hehe) always find classical singing Neat#anyway I’m saying all this to kind of calm myself down#I’ve been hyped up on adrenaline and anxious energy all day#my grad school stuff should be good 👍 just gotta wait a couple days and then I can submit my personal statement and resume and then I’m DONE#whew.. I hope all goes well 😭🙏🙏🙏🙏#🤓posting
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good morning and merry christmas !! aesthetic photo of my cookies be upon ye
#just me hi#i put them on the plate and then the little devil and my shoulder said Hey what if we spent the next 20+ minutes editing it#and they were right that was fun lmfvshgh#Except for looking for a glitter brush on ibis! why are all the thumbnails so blurry it hurts my eyes Ghfksfjvk#yea the phone is working out good :) i'm gonna be taking pictures of everything now ehehehgh#also forgot to eat these for the 20+ minutes i was playing w/ the pictures#my breakfastttt: (went to go count but i have eaten some now. ouh) ✋10 🤚 christmas cookies :3#they're little ones- oh hey these pretzel one are kinda salty! yaaay#i like the swirly/horseshoe ones the most though. nyum#/we have pozole my mom made last night but i think that has to be warmed up hfhsvh#we got back from christmas midnight mass and everyone- Everyone (crazy) went to bed as soon as we got home lmfhvshg#i don't think that's ever happened. usually a couple are still awake until dawn and Then they go to sleep lol#yea but we didn't even get to try to the pozole last night <//3 helped to strain it last night though :D it smelled kinda sweet+spicy so ou#//we're waiting til i think friday or saturday for presents this year because of the Events so noo wrapping cleaning today 🎉💥 kfsvh#and i've been asked what i wanted. see i don't have that trouble of suddenly not having a want in the world: i just kinda don't have that#already for some reason lmao ?? so yea default state. do you think i'll get socks kfshvfh#//do love having to go back into my tags and add the topic slash bc every topic is related All the time Forever lmfsh#//hey but i DO need socks HEY i'm not joking anymore. don't want any with patterns though they will bother me lol#cuz unless i like the patterns i am not going to wear them :/ that is unless i think they're silly then they pass#are they holiday-themed? i'll prolly still wear them during the fourth of july so we can guarantee 1 whole day of use lhfshvjg#however during the warmer days (anything above 55 degrees) i wear chanclas w/o socks. so maybe not so much guaranteed#and also if i can't find it's match i will just never wear it again. truly tragic#i'm painstakingly matching my plain white socks i can Not handle patterned socks again#/wait was this post about cookies. dude how did we get here Lmfjvskfhvahfhvj#//Okay i'm gonna ummm#Ummmmmmmm#uuuuhm. draw :3 Toodles !! merry christmas !! <3
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is there any version of the jekyll and hyde story that's good? lemme know
#personal#i hate the original slow boring bad but some sort of ethic that i can find interesting#but i was disappointed my first time by its ethic bc i'd been led to believe it was all an accident he'd become evil#and ohhh he was overcome by his experiment#and then when i gave it another chance knowing what to expect i was like oh this still sucks storytelling wise#now following the story i am also very disappointed#just listening but like. boring! too long!#i think if you want to do a jekyll and hyde retelling you need to make the Thing happen sooner than in the novella#because i know what to expect and the waiting is just annoying#not tension building#and the musical just introduces some romance i think? lame#boring#heterosexuality wins :/#but like i get wanting to introduce a woman into it#maybe i'll do my own retelling one day idc#bro is intensely sex negative and has regressive morality but also wants to do reprehensible things would be my framework#there are a couple viewpoints from there of course. like 1) he could just be gay or desire sex almost at all in the og culture#and that would be enough to be evil#there is also the posturing viewpoint#like someone with power who wants to hurt those 'beneath' him and has the power to#but knows (despite the fact he has the power to do it) it would reflect poorly on him#priest targeting kids type story#but he can get away with it#the second one is more compelling to me personally as a retelling#while the first is more compelling as an interpretation of the original novella#do you guys like my very long post (tags) tonight
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yeah I'm not gonna talk abt it am I...
#well thats okay. eventually itll come up naturally. and if not well. it doesnt make me feel very okay. but its not a big deal#and i guess ill meet ppl in the future who will curate a different idea of me and maybe therell be fewer misunderstandings#<- coward who CAN communicate to save their life but not in any lower stakes situation for their happiness n quality of life#we <3 repression n insecurity. maybe if i keep digging at the corner of this bit of the labyrinth with my spoon ill get out someday 😌#anyway.. theres my daily vague vent post got it out of my system#wanted to do it earlier but ended up not having much time after work n then called friends which was nice :^)#also i never have signal at work these days.. my boss has said shell get me on the staff wifi tho cuz i do need it for work reasons#its rare to need it for work purposes bc we all use work pcs n stuff anyway and not rly supposed to use mobiles in the lab#but yeahh.. god i have so much admin shit to sort out also gotta text family back before i sleep i forgot to earlier#its all good.. also my memory foam pillows turned up so i no longer have to steal my roomies extra one for my neck pain <3#ik she was missing it... not to sound like a creep but it was nice that it smelled like her a little. just familiar innit#we're always around each other so its just what being home smells like to me.. listen i have a sensitive nose 😔✋️#if we were a lot closer i would ask if i could sleep in her bed while shes away but we're not so it would come across sooo weird..#and i would feel rly weird abt someone sleeping in my own room without me there. well maybe not actually. as long as they werent snooping#<- guy whose mother used to go thru their shit all the time n struggles to not feel paranoid and distrustful when it comes to privacy#was thinking recently my ideal living situation w a partner would be separate rooms but we still share the bed sometimes#but not every night bc im a sensitive sleeper... but we can switch bedding so i can still smell them if i wake up in the night alone#like how new mothers trying to get babies used to cot sleeping each have a cloth or blanket and swap every night#so the baby is comforted by the blankets smell and sleeps more peacefully.. and momma finds it easier being apart from the baby too#sorry this is getting gooey and weird my meds have been wearing off the last couple hours im so sleeppyyyy 😭#well.... maybe everything can wait until tomorrow..... bed is calling..#goodnight everyone muah#.diaries
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Mental health shit is kicking my ass but at least I have my silly guys
#keese draws#eternal gales#oc art#oc#my birthday is in a few days btw wish me luck#I’m trying to be excited best I can but yknow#I’m hoping that my friends and family do a good job at distracting me from the horrors for all that#which I’m sure they will they do a great job at keeping me from losing my shit on days like that#we’re going to eat good food and play games and it’s going to be fun and I’ll be happy#just need to hold out and not freak out too much in the meantime lol#but yeah I’ve been considering tweaking a couple of the staliens antennae recently#hence the mason#but I’m not sure if I’ll commit#most of the cast has fairly distinct antennae from eachother with mason being the main problem child to me#if I was willing to draw more detailed antennae then I’d go absolutely ham with everyone’s antennae but I’m not so#I’m mostly thinking abt this because I drew odile as a stalien a few days ago and gave her some fancy antennae#in my minds eye her antennae are Huge and she uses the to help read carved languages#the actual main stalien cast have very normal not noteworthy antennae except for sorta beats but having two pairs isn’t even that uncommon#but admittedly I am half tempted to try giving one of them huge antennae simply because it’d be fun to draw#but none of them rly fit the bill for that except maybe butter but they already have long ass ears they don’t need both#I should rly go fill out everyone’s toyhouse bios at some point I did like two or three a few weeks ago then gave up#and I didn’t even do any of the staliens I think I just did aris and sier#I also need to fix their mini playlists I have on their profiles but that can wait#anyways I now need to do some fun 2 am cleaning I was supposed to do hours ago#I got distracted drawing
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ayyyyyyy I set up an appointment for medication this Friday (telemedicine but whatever) and I get to see my former therapist again later this month. I’m kind of excited. More than kind of. Little sad, but I’m lonely and want to talk to someone. He’s a real cool dude. I’m a little worried to trauma dump the last 6 months on him, but whatever, it beats sitting there for an hour feeling like I’m wasting his time and struggling to think of things to say. dang dang dang, I’m excited.
#I’m excited to tell him about my mom’s transplant. less so to mention all my dark moments since we last spoke.#ok so I gotta wait a week for antidepressants and then a couple of weeks for them to take effect#that’s a lot of waiting#especially with how rough I’ve been these last couple of weeks#I probably have more appointments I should schedule but we’ll see#I’ve only been able to sleep sitting up#like the dang elephantman#something about laying down freaks me out#it’s uncomfortable and not very restful and just thinking about sleep gives me anxiety#brains are fucky#oof… now it’s setting in. I’ve got an appointment but it’s 5 days away#5 days of… this. anxiety and distraction and my sick brain#this is my fault#well… no. yes. I don’t want to COMPLETELY beat myself up for it#I should have been managing my mental health better instead of waiting until I spiraled out#I should have been managing my health better in general!#this isn’t sexy to say but I hate my body. I’ve run it down. and it’s going to be so much harder getting back to something semi healthy#but I’m trying now 😕 so maybe that’ll count for something#I’ve been realizing that I really really miss going to the gym late at night#that’s what I need now. been doing these little drives at night to distract myself but having an actual place to go would be much better#BUT! too expensive. need to work and make some money. not excited for that but I needs it. I neeeeeeds money. for burgers. and distractions#this is too rambly. I’m sorry. I thought about counseling and got too excited to talk and talk#I talk too much#you can ignore this#text
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