#there are a couple viewpoints from there of course. like 1) he could just be gay or desire sex almost at all in the og culture

[loverboyfae]

is there any version of the jekyll and hyde story that's good? lemme know

[waitmyturtles]

Yesterday was an insane day, huh? I can’t wait to see what Only Friends entails -- despite my best efforts to keep cool in dis HEAT, that NeoForce snippet in the car still has me flying. Anyway, I want to pen some quick notes on Minato’s Laundromat, season 2, and note some Old GMMTV Challenge thingies, now that I’m back from this crazy summer trip!

1) I’m fully caught up on Minato’s Laundromat, season 2 -- I was three episodes behind (thanks, OGMMTVC, ha), and thanks to the eagle eyes of @emotionallychargedtowel, I am LOSING MY MIND AT THE THOUGHT OF TAKEDA KOUHEI, AKA NOZUE FROM OLD FASHION CUPCAKE, MAKING AN APPEARANCE IN ANOTHER BL, OMG OMG OMG

GASPING! GASPING!

Because Old Fashion Cupcake is my LIFE, lol. @emotionallychargedtowel and @bengiyo nail it in ECT’s post with the note on this wonderful continuation of clutch actors reappearing in Japanese BLs, like Izuka Kenta from The Novelist going to Candy Color Paradox, and Inukai Atsuhiro from Zettai BL going to Our Dining Table. I love Japan’s easter eggs in these shows. 

But also, regarding episode 5 of Minato: god, I really liked how the tables turned on Minato and Shu. It’s been interesting to have the older characters as the dominant voices of the two central relationships of this show. And of course, this second season is constructed totally around the ongoing nature of both of these relationships. So, we VERY NATURALLY see the “older voice” perspective, because it just so happens that the two older men of these couplings are the ones really setting the tone and pace of the engagements.

And the tables both begin to turn in episode 5, and I think these lines of jealousy between both Minato and Shu, for me, are frankly welcome. We can see Shin getting frustrated, Minato not having the words to respond to that frustration, and Minato just not allowing his door to open on his full feelings for Shin. The theme of this relationship being a dodgy one -- but only in the eyes of Minato! -- deserves to be challenged. And I like how this challenge is being set up in large part in the context of Shin as a student, where he would be learning how to challenge mindsets vis à vis his education anyway.

Anyway -- I utterly love this show so far. As always with the Japanese BLs that I am simping over, I wish I could give them more of my background mind time that’s being otherwise spent on Thailand, but -- soon enough!

2) Speaking of Thailand, HA -- after I published my YYY review for the Old GMMTV Challenge yesterday, I updated my list considerably. On the recommendation of @lurkingshan, @wen-kexing-apologist, and @neuroticbookworm, and because of Jojo Tichakorn’s recent tweets on the topic of what influenced Only Friends, I’ve added Gay OK Bangkok, seasons 1 and 2 to the list and started watching it last night. 

I’m already calling it — GOKB is a MUST WATCH before Only Friends. 

I can’t wait to get HUGE about this in my OGMMTVC review of this show.

Within the first five minutes, it’s already so much more open and honest about sex and queer sex than the VERY HIGH majority of BLs out there. The show is a collaboration between Jojo and Aof Noppharnach, on the lives of six gay men in Bangkok, released in 2016 and 2017 -- nicely placed between Make It Right, SOTUS, and Make It Right 2.

Obviously, I’m going backwards chronologically again, but I think GOKB will be important for understanding specifically how Asian queer male artists in this space view and portray intimacy, and language (verbal and body language) regarding sex. @lurkingshan, you were mentioning yesterday that queer male viewpoints on sex are ones that cishet women like us just may not automatically understand. INTERESTINGLY, BEFORE we talked about this -- I was actually thinking about this while I was watching the last two episodes of A Tale of Thousand Stars in my OGMMTVC rewatch. Tian and Phupha’s continued back-and-forth of frustration and miscommunication: I was thinking -- there’s GOTTA be something about the way Aof GESTATES and DISPLAYS queer male communication that I’m not getting automatically (besides, of course, the patriarchal structures that hold both Tian and Phupha back). I wonder, I think, and I feel that GOKB is going to give me hints about how Aof and Jojo just DO THIS style of communication in their subsequent shows. 

I can only hope that Only Friends will be as LOUD and OPEN and HONEST about the realities of sex and intimacy that GOKB does almost immediately in its first season. Watching GOKB feels WAY more real to life to me than a lot of the romance BLs out there. I feel like I’m talking about sex and love with my queer friends as I’m watching GOKB, and it’s just hewing to real life in an UTTERLY wonderful way. What a fucking show already, and I’m only three episodes in!

3) Finally, also on the topic of the OGMMTVC, I’ve added at least one movie, and am considering a second movie. I’m adding, per the recommendation of @bengiyo, 2007′s The Love of Siam to the list, for the fact that this movie had a clear influence on many of today’s Thai BL creators. I see it has many actors that make support or guest appearances in today’s BLs, and I can’t wait to get to it as an utterly formative piece, both to Thai BLs and to Asian queer cinema.

4) As well -- inspired in part by my notes on Fluke Teerapat in yesterday’s YYY review -- I am THINKING of adding 2014′s My Bromance to the list. I’m not sure, but I’m THINKING about it, and I KNOW I will get poked for it, ha.

A couple of things here. The OGMMTVC has not deep-dived into cinema yet, besides 2019′s Dew the Movie, which aired around the same time as the groundbreaking He’s Coming To Me. 

Yet, referring back to my conversation with @bengiyo about The Love of Siam -- queer cinema CERTAINLY speaks to the creation of the BL genre. Before television BL, what Thailand had in majority by way of queer media were movies. On paper at least, My Bromance fits a couple of bills. 

First, Love Sick premieres on television in 2014 -- but well after the cinematic release of My Bromance. So that already makes 2014 an even bigger year for the development of the BL television genre.

Second, My Bromance stars two homies who have been in these BL streets for a MINUTE -- as I said before, Fluke Teerapat is one, but I did NOT have the SLIGHTEST appreciation for how long Fluke Natouch has been around (and I’m in LUV with Fluke Natouch at the moment. I’m still not over the condo scene in UWMA!). 

So, we have the two Flukes, at least one of them publicly out, and starring in a movie ROOTED in a stepbrother yaoi trope. The comments of my Dew the Movie OGMMTVC review touched upon how taboos may have begotten taboos in early BLs -- that if a piece of art crossed one boundary in being queer, then other boundaries, like stepbrothers falling in love, may have then been seen as valid or “okay” WITHIN that piece of art. I’m interested in possibly watching something so very CLEARLY rooted in yaoi from the cinematic perspective, to engage with and better understand yaoi in developing and current Thai BL, as I haven’t done a real deep dive, analytically, into yaoi and Thailand yet. (As @lurkingshan and I talked about yesterday, TharnType on the OGMMTVC list fits the yaoi stereotypes the best.) And with both Flukes starring in MB, I wonder if I can attribute any influence this piece may have had on their subsequent work (like Fluke Natouch doing blushing maiden so incredibly well in 2019′s UWMA, and of course, the references to yaoi in Fluke Teerapat’s YYY). 

I don’t think @bengiyo has seen My Bromance, but I’m wondering if a few of the other friends from around the way have any thoughts... @absolutebl, @so-much-yet-to-learn, @twig-tea, @solitaryandwandering, @nieves-de-sugui and anyone else -- would love your thoughts if you’ve seen it and think it’s worth of inclusion on the syllabus.

These additions put some air between the next OGMMTVC chronological show in Lovely Writer, but I’ve got a lot of life stuff going on at the moment -- and I do want to give Tee Bundit and Lovely Writer the time he deserves, as I’m about over my anger on Step By Step, ha. 

That’s about it -- I have to still catch up with Tokyo In April Is..., but I’ll get to that later this week!

[arcielee]

Interview With a Writer

This is the 20th segment of my IWAW series. I will break it down into volumes, so this is the wrap of Volume 1!

Thank you so much @fan-goddess for giving me the time to respond to my questions and allowing this series to continue. 💜

As always, Interview With a Writer is my ongoing series of the talented souls on Tumblr and ao3, and their brilliant writing!

Name: fan-goddess

Story: 10 Things I Hate About You

Paring: Ettore x Female!Reader

Warnings: Non canon Ettore, warnings vary per chapter.

So, when did you start writing?

I started writing early teens for a variety of fandoms. It was all on Wattpad drafts as I’d make all these plots, but find I’d be terrible writing actual stories. The first thing I wrote for was a cringey Draco Malfoy fanfic which is on my first ever Wattpad account that still is lying about somewhere.

After a couple years though I then transitioned to Tumblr, where after joining the HOTD I started writing and enjoying it and finding my passion for it.

Where did the plot for 10 Things I Hate About You come from?

The idea mainly came from me thinking of the movie, as me and two of my friends were talking about watching it together since one of them hasn’t ever seen it.

I was thinking about the poem scene on a bus ride and was wondering about how to possibly apply it to writing, wondering who would a reader hate to love, and one of the first characters I thought of was Ettore.

Then it came to me applying different lines to him, which in the original I think had some different lines to the one that was posted, but as I was trying to post the original I accidentally deleted it. Which lead to me immediately trying to write all the lines I could remember.

It was originally supposed to be a one-shot, but thought why not when people asked for a part two. The idea to do the different view point chapter came from @flowerandblood on tumblr, since I thought of their writing style which enables the reader to see both viewpoints of the scene, and I was interested in exploring in this.

Can you explain your interpretation of Ettore? What drives him? Why is he this way in 10TIHAY?

I wanted to stay as close to the movie character as possible, and if you’ve seen the movie, there is a scene that shows Ettore attempted SA. Of course, I never wanted to write a scene like that, so I decided to write a mixture of canon him and another version of him that didn’t involve the scene from the movie.

What drives him in this story is his need for contact he doesn’t even know he needs, which he finds in the reader. He gets obsessed by it and this entire need to own her, like you would a pet really. He’s drawn on this path of her since she involuntarily makes him feel emotions he never felt before her, and he just becomes utterly addicted to it, which in the end he interprets as what could be love.

Was there anything in specific that inspired your Reader portrayal?

Not necessarily? I wanted her to have struggles. I wanted to clearly have this idea shown that no one is perfect. I don’t specify the crime the reader committed, as it’s really up to interpretation (unless someone does request a one-shot with a crime specific).

I wanted her to have that split mindset of wanting to stay like her Earth self, and the mindset of wanting to give into this desire for Ettore, who draws her in.

Plus, like Ettore, she craves this contact that makes her human and down to earth. A same need, but for different reasons.

Do you think they complement one another well?

It’s a mixed thought, really. For Ettore, it’s good they complement each other since she effectively manages to humanise him in his own way. But for reader, it’s not so good since-thanks to Ettore-she’s embracing this dark side of herself that she never would’ve never thought to connect with if she hadn’t met him.

But I don’t know if I believe that they belong together entirely, since whilst they embrace a side of each other, they also simultaneously have the ability to destroy each other. They’re a weakness to each other and only Ettore really understands could be possibly exploited, which is one of the reasons he felt so conflicted about the relationship.

Do you think you will do a sequel? Or do you have any other WIPs?

I have no plans to do a sequel. But when I finish writing/editing my Abraham series I plan to open my requests, and I am interested in doing one-shot requests expanding on this story's universe. They wouldn’t be apart of the 10TIHAY universe though, but I did have one possible request on ao3 where a person asked about what would happen if reader was the one obsessed rather than Ettore, which I am interested in possibly exploring.

Do you have a personal favorite story you'd like to share?

I have so many to be honest I doubt I can name just one! Especially since I have favourites for certain fandoms I’m in too. One of my favourites though is ‘Girl With a Pearl Earring’ by flowerandblood on Tumblr. I did photography and it inspired me both in regards to writing and in photography too.

[fincalinde]

thoughts on Su Minshan??

I actually recently did a post on SMS, so feel free to stick another token in the slot machine that is my askbox if you want. But I suppose I can build on it a little. There's one thing I brought up in there that probably does deserve more attention, and that is ...

Why, oh why, does fandom assume that SMS is unmarried when it is literally impossible that he would be single and childless? Like, this blows my mind.

Things that are clearly established by canon:

1. The jianghu operates under a clan system rather than a genre-typical pure sect system. Bloodlines are crucially important and the leadership of clans is generally passed from father to son or another close male relative, though women do rarely also obtain positions of power.

2. This system was introduced a couple of centuries earlier by Wen Mao, but is now so embedded that XXC and SL's shared vision of a merit-based sect where bloodlines are irrelevant is considered a distant and idealistic dream.

3. XXC receives numerous invitations to join clans due to his stellar reputation, and turns them all down due to this principle. He could have taken an important role in these clans but would never have been able to inherit or lead. Despite his incredible reputation, during the period of time in which he is travelling the jianghu in his pre-eye gouging days, neither he nor SL take a single disciple. This strongly indicates that even someone of literally impeccable standing couldn't even begin to get an independent merit-based sect off the ground.

... but I am supposed to believe that SMS somehow achieved this? That he left the Lan and founded his own sect with a gang of disgruntled tone deaf pals and that's the end of it? Absolutely not. He founded the Moling Su (the name itself is a big clue) in the traditional manner. He probably did involve some of his own blood relatives from the off to bulk his numbers, but even so, he's clan leader and the first thing a nascent and highly vulnerable new clan needs is heirs. SMS is absolutely married and a father to multiple children. Those children are the literal future of his clan and its very existence depends on them.

Of course his wife and children aren't explicitly mentioned by the narrative, because he's a supporting character whose function in the narrative revolves around his loyalty to JGY and his grudges against [insert list here], and his home life is irrelevant. Su-furen is either at home in Moling holding the fort; or, less likely, she's amongst the cultivators he brings to the Burial Mounds and could even potentially be intending to meet up with JGY and his cohort of loyal disciples during the collective flight to Dongying. It's just a level of detail that isn't relevant, especially to our viewpoint character, WWX, who is notoriously not detail-orientated when it comes to this kind of thing.

[smolcuriouskitten]

"God you are so annoying! You always do this!" Penny's voice rang out in the living room, Leonard huffing as he made an exaggerated motion. "Here you go again! I just said it was a bad idea for your ex to come over for friendsgiving but Im suddenly the bad guy!" He argues back, stepping closer to Penny.

"Oh thats rich, coming from the guy who slept with his coworker and I had to find out from Sheldon!"

"What the-?! Sheldon tell her that-" Leonard went to motion to his friend sitting on the couch but he left, the apartment door closing before he could finish his statement. "Not again!" They both said in unison, going back to arguing about the issue at hand.

Rockelle was knitting in her apartment, listening to Sade when she heard the yelling. She never understood how the two got together but chose not to question it. She was still single herself after all, then again so was Sheldon. Speaking of him, he should be coming down in 3...2...1..

Knock, Knock, Knock. "Rockelle." Knock, Knock, Knock. "Rockelle." Knock, Knock, Knock. "Rockelle!"

With that, she gets up from her couch, tying her silk robe tightly around her to make sure she doesnt expose herself. "Coming dear." She calls back, setting her knitting supplies on the coffee table, unlocking the door and opening it. "Everything ok? I heard-" She starts and Sheldon interrupts. "Can I hug you?" He asks and the question threw her off. Not in a bad way, no no.

Up until this point, she didnt think Sheldon was okay with people touching him. She knew of his adversity to touching so him asking surprised her. "Of...Of course you can." She stutters, opening her arms. "That didnt sound confident. Are you sure? We can-" Sheldon began to ramble and Rockelle just wrapped her arms around him.

He stopped, slowly returning the touch. "I am always up for a hug. It surprised me that you asked is all." Rockelle gently corrects, rubbing his back with a soft sigh. "You smell nice. Did you change perfumes? You usually use smells that are remnant of chocolate. You smell like coconuts now." He comments and she giggles. "Its my body wash and hair products you are smelling dear." She answers, looking up at him, watching his facial expressions.

"I do not care for change but this is one I dont mind." He replies, as she chuckles, nodding. "I will keep that in mind. Did you come down for a bit to escape the lovers quarrel for a bit? I heard them upstairs." And with that Sheldon nods, pulling back from the hug. "Yes. I dont like arguing or arguments." He answers and now the arguing could be heard from the stairwell, which Sheldon immediately ducks away into Rockelles apartment.

She waves at the two, mouthing that Sheldon was in there with her and he was okay. The pair then go back upstairs and leave Rockelle and him alone, she closes her door to see Sheldon sitting on his spot. "Their relationship is crashing and meeting an inevitable end yet they keep trying. I dont understand relationships at all, all they do is argue and talk about how much better life would be if they were apart." He scrunches his nose and she joins him after locking the door, sitting next to him.

A pause before Rockelle spoke, feeling bad that this was his viewpoint on relationships and how they work. "Well not every relationship is like that. There are some where they strive to bring each other peace and happiness. Some couples bicker but it doesnt mean they love each other any less. Think about it love, dont you and your friends argue from time to time?" She retorts and Sheldon takes a moment to think, then looks over at her. "Well my friends and I dont argue about exes or friends with benefits or even sleeping with other people behind each others back. We argue about what quantum theory is historically accurate or even which game protagonist can be a double meaning for Medieval tropes." He answers and Rockelle shakes her head.

"Thats a relationship! Its something that comes with arguments and disagreements, even if it isnt romantic. Im sorry that they argued with you there though, given how triggering it can be." She chirps and Sheldon thought about it, nodding. "I suppose it can be the same. I still think their relationship will meet a timely end at this rate." He picks up her knitting supplies and looks over at her. "Were you knitting pants before I joined you? This stitch is completely wrong, it isnt meant to be used for that. This stitch is used for blankets, quits, and other kinds of comfort items." As he inspects her tools, she chuckles and shakes her head. "Well the stitch is correct since I am making a blanket. My sister and her husband are having a little one, so I wanted to knit the baby a blanket." She winks at him and he looks over the tv.

"Well knitting isnt a task we can do together." He comments and Rockelle pauses, tilting her head. "Are you hinting at us doing something to get your mind off things?" She asks, smiling as she gets up to grab a flower Lego set. "Yes, that is what I said." He responds and Rockelle chuckles, setting the box down on the table, moving her knitting supplies to the end table on her side. "We can build this together and you can take this with you, so you have something to remember me by." She advises and Sheldon raises a brow. "Why would I forget you? I have eidetic memory so our interactions will never go forgotten." He boasts and Rockelle raises a brow with him.

"What color was I wearing when I first met you?"

"White. You wore a jogger suit with a hoodie and heels."

"What kind of chocolate do I like?"

"Dark chocolate. You hate milk chocolate due to you having an 'adult palette' in preferring the bitter aftertaste. Will there be a quiz on this?"

Rockelle was stunned in his memory and how it managed to be correct. A few confused blinks before she looked over at him with a confused expression. Here she thought his constant rambles amid their conversations meant he was ignoring her words.

"Sheldon?"

"Yes?"

"Can I give you a hug?"

"Yes but why would you give me a hug after stating umf-"

He was interrupted by the rather tight hug she gave him. Resting her head on his chest, he slowly went to reciprocate it.

"I am just happy you remembered these things about me. No one usually does. God I can kiss you right now!"

"Why dont you?"

"What?"

"What?"

@sheldoney

[tharrb]

The plantars: when being likable isn’t enough

Okay, so I see a couple of post about how the plantars are ignored by the fandom and that they, not Sasha and Marcy, are the true main characters. This is not me trying to negate anyone else’s beliefs, I’m just stating my viewpoint.

The truth, the reason the plantars are ignored in favor of the trio(and I apologize for being blunt here) are not interesting characters.

I mean, they don’t really change all that much over the course of the series. Sprig repeatedly gets into trouble and suffers no consequences from it, nor does he learn any lessons. The extent of hop pops growth is he learns to like new things. Polly is the only one to grow In a substantial way, by taking care of frobo, but for some reason the show decided to stop focusing her after friend or frobo, receiving only one focus episode in season 3.

What’s more, even when they do show signs of deeper characterization, it only comes up when it’s relevant to the plot. I mean, when it was shown that Sasha’s parents are divorced, it explained so much about why she is the way she is. Meanwhile, hop pops backstory gets explained…and then dosen’t become relevant again until all in.

Even worse, they also get a ton of focus episodes. The problem is that these episodes neither progress the plot nor further their characters arcs in a meaningful way, but instead to go on wacky misadventures. Even Anne, the main character, felt like she was playing second banana to them.

Looking back, I bemoan the fact that so much time could have been better spent on more interesting characters, not just the trio but other amphibians. In season 1, we could have gotten a lot more episodes dedicated to Anne bonding with all the wartwoodians, ultimately leading to them respecting her. But instead, we had sprig violating ms croakers privacy and hop pop trying to brainwash his grandkids.

Now I don’t think the plantars are bad characters by any means, I think they’re likable and fun enough. But likability alone isn’t enough to justify the amount of focus they had.

I think the problem is that the executives wanted them to be mascots for amphibia, and thus didn’t want them to stray to far from their initial personalities. It could also be because the writers are attached to them do to them being the season one main cast, and thus gives them preferable treatment despite not doing much with them.

It just…sucks, because they’re are signs that the plantars are deeper than they appear. But the show is afraid to meaningfully expand their characters in the long run.

[darksideofthemuse]

What did you think of AkiAudreyMax's storyline in season 2? What do you think they were going for, with the way they were written in the series finale? What would have happened in a season 3? What do you wish that had happened with them? What storylines could have been explored? I really like your writing of them. Going through all of your stories right now.

Hey anon, thank you so much for your message and your kind words about my writing, it made me grin like an idiot and also reminded me I should go edit the remaining chapters in a fic I'm writing now.

My answer turned out to be very long, so the rest of my ramblings are below the cut.

Overall, when I think about Aki, Audrey and Max storyline in season 2, it just kind of makes me sad. I've read the interview with Safran saying the trio were supposed to be endgame, so that's nice to know and I think they would have got back together by end of season 3. I have no clue how the show writers would have gone about that, because personally I think they wrote themselves into a bit of a corner at the end of season 2 by leaving Audrey and Aki together. I think the writers should have broken all of them up at the end of season 2 and not just because of the pact they made, but because we spent all of season 1 watching Aki and Audrey trying to figure out why their relationship no longer works and, in the end, they realise it doesn't work, because they both want to be with Max too, that's their whole season 1 arc. So then to end season 2 with Audrey and Aki being a couple and everything is great between them is redundant and not very interesting from a viewer's perspective, and from within the story, it strengthens Max's viewpoint, that he was just something extra for them to spice up their relationship rather than an equal partner in a relationship. So, then it is much harder to write a continuation of that story, because Audrey and Aki did the one thing that Max was scared, they would do. So, I don't know how they would have earned Max's trust back in the show, but it probably would not have felt earned, because it's such a big betrayal of Max's trust. 

In general, up until the end of season 2, I liked the trio’s storyline, the exploration of their relationship and various insecurities they all had, so I was happy with it. Some of the stories could have lasted a few more episodes instead of being wrapped up neatly by the end of each episode, but I thought it made sense that Max was unhappy with Audrey and Aki by the end of the season, because it did feel sometimes like Aki and Audrey were still a unit and Max was on the outside, so when he gets angry with them and breaks up, it made sense to me. The main thing I would have changed about the end of season 2 would have been that once Max breaks up with them, Aki and Audrey decide they want to stay together and betray the pact, but then when we see them a few months later in Italy, they're unhappy, maybe snapping at each other, there’s constant tension between them that culminates in Aki and Audrey also breaking up, because they don't work as a couple, as they've learned in season 1. And then in season 3, during the next school year, they're all on their own, pinning for each other. That way Max's trust would have still been betrayed, but the fact that Aki and Audrey could not last together, would also show to Max that he was equally important in that relationship, because even though Audrey and Aki wanted to stay together, they couldn't do it without him. So, I would have liked to see something along those lines! And then of course a happy ending by the end of the show, I believe those crazy kids care about each other and could have made it work 😊

I know the show is about high-schoolers, but in ideal world I would have liked to see them older and still together, how they navigate the difficulties of a somewhat unconventional relationship as they grow older. Being in a relationship with one other person can be hard enough, so a relationship with two people can be twice as difficult sometimes! I guess that’s why I’ve written quite a bit about the trio being in college in my fic, because I’m more interested in that future aspect. It’s also been more than a decade since I’ve been a teenager, so I can remember better what it’s like being in your mid-20s!

Thanks for the ask again anon, it’s been nice to imagine what could have been on the show and ramble about them 😊  

[notafunkiller]

Hi,

Thank you so much! I really appreciate it and enjoy reading your messages too🤍

Absolutely, I couldn't have said it better myself! It's really perplexing how some fans seem to prioritize scrutinizing his personal life, particularly his “girlfriends” social media activity, over celebrating his professional accomplishments. It's important to remember that being a fan means appreciating an artist's work and respecting their personal boundaries. I find it quite heartwarming that we share this viewpoint. Sebastian's incredible talent and the meaningful impact of his work should be in the focus.

“He is private but affectionate. Also, secret ≠ private. “

I couldn't agree more! Sebastian strikes me as someone who values his privacy while still being capable of genuine affection. It's crucial to recognize the distinction between keeping certain aspects of one's life private and being closed off entirely. I genuinely hope that Sebastian finds someone who understands and appreciates this balance, someone who respects his need for privacy while also sharing his warmth and affection.

I also liked the chemistry Daisy and Sebastian had and think they would fit together quite well. I just took a woman outside of the industry as an example because it would give Sebastian the chance to have a completely new experience and it might benefit his private life, to have someone who enjoys a simple and quiet life and who doesn’t know anything else outside of it. Of course, there are women in the industry who are like this too; I just thought it would be a nice and welcoming change in his life.

And also because from what I saw and heard, Daisy is in a relationship, I didn’t want to sound disrespectful by saying that they could make a sweet couple, because she seems quite happy and that makes me glad for her. Personally, I find her to be one of the most humble actresses who is genuinely talented.

“He truly needs grounding, stability, and a contrast to the industry's chaos, especially since he said himself his career is his number 1 priority (which is normal, especially since he sacrificed so much for it + his mom, too & I believe he'd always sacrifice everything for it and I super respect and appreciate it)... even recently”

Absolutely, you've hit the nail on the head. Given Sebastian's dedication to his career and the demanding nature of the industry, having someone who can provide grounding, stability, and a reprieve from the chaos is paramount. It's evident that his career holds immense importance to him, and finding someone who not only respects but also supports his ambitions is crucial. I admire his commitment and truly hope he finds that balance he so deserves.

I just want to express my sincere gratitude for the wonderful conversations we've had till now. Your openness to discuss this topic in such a normal and respectful manner are truly incredible. It's been a pleasure engaging with you, and I'm genuinely glad that we can have these lovely exchanges and I hope more are to come. I appreciate the opportunity to share thoughts and perspectives with you. Thank you for making our interactions so enriching and enjoyable!🥰

Hellooo

It's really perplexing how some fans seem to prioritize scrutinizing his personal life, particularly his “girlfriends” social media activity, over celebrating his professional accomplishments. It's important to remember that being a fan means appreciating an artist's work and respecting their personal boundaries. I find it quite heartwarming that we share this viewpoint.

I find it heartwarming too🌸

And also because from what I saw and heard, Daisy is in a relationship, I didn’t want to sound disrespectful by saying that they could make a sweet couple, because she seems quite happy and that makes me glad for her. Personally, I find her to be one of the most humble actresses who is genuinely talented.

About this... from the last couple of the photos I saw (the last three times they were seen together), Daisy seems in a PR relationship to me. There are some pic I find so ??? I got such off vibes. I really was excited for her at the beginning🥲

And yes! She is so humble, and nice, and genuine. She is awkward on the red carpet and doesn't pretend to be different.

It's evident that his career holds immense importance to him, and finding someone who not only respects but also supports his ambitions is crucial. I admire his commitment and truly hope he finds that balance he so deserves.

I totally agree with everything you said in general, especially with this.

And I also want to thank you for being so nice and open to come here and share your honest opinions in such a respectful way! You are absolutely always welcome and please don't hesitate to reach out.

[jovialkingdomfan]

How the 10 Worst fast Fails of All Time Could Have Been Prevented

Saskia Howard-Clarke is usually a “promotions Female” from London. She was the fifth evictee through the Large Brother house on July 1 2005 when she participated while in the sixth number of the favored television programme.

In the 1st few weeks, Saskia proved to become well-liked with housemates and viewers alike. This was evident in 7 days two when all the housemates were place up for eviction by means of a general public vote as a result of rule breaking because when Saskia’s title was introduced, the Reside studio viewers cheered her.

Even so, events took a flip with the worse points took a Completely wrong flip when a divide in your house occurred and two customers of her team, Anthony and Maxwell had been banned from nominations – leaving Saskia within the vulnerable posture of being nominated by the opposite team who sided with Makosi Musambasi after a heated confrontation among the pair.

A lot of the opinions Saskia made in her argument with Makosi sparked a debate about racism becoming a factor in the home and the two Maxwell and Saskia ended up place up for the general public vote. Saskia was evicted by a greater Hop over to this website part 71% on the vote and greeted the gang to the mixed reception on Working day 36. She obtained the highest percentage of any eviction vote in the full sequence.

In her write-up-eviction interview, she later on denied the make a difference by stating she was a quarter-Sri Lankan, an announcement that did not justify or alter the viewpoints of many viewers.

This was Saskias nomination history in the course of her remain in the massive Brother residence:

1st (Working day five) – Saskia was nominated by Derek and Mary.

2nd (Working day 11) – Saskia was nominated by Craig, Derek, Lesley and Vanessa.

third (Working day eighteen) – Saskia was nominated by Science only.

4th (Day twenty five) – Saskia obtained no nominations.

fifth (Day 32) Saskia was nominated by Derek, Kemal, Makosi and Vanessa and was evicted by using the general public vote.

All through her time in the large Brother house Saskia coined phrases which include “conclusion of” and “it’s Pet take in Pet” although she didn’t last as well extended and was evicted fifth when she as well as the oafish Maxwell ended up both of those nominated.

Even just before her stint on Huge Brother, Saskia enjoyed dating “famous” folks and previous boyfriends have integrated an Olympic swimmer, a Premiership footballer and he or she also dropped down a couple of divisions to hook up with Nottingham Forest striker Adam Nowland.

Saskia statements to go to the gym 5 occasions every week, she will get her nails carried out each month and is particularly obsessed by faux tans.

Since leaving the home Saskia has been hectic touring grotty nightclubs in a very double act with Maxwell although also posing for glamour pictures in lads mags to be sure she remains in the public eye.

[muzwoom]

If you feel comfortable sharing, could you list the >10 obscure isekais you are currently obsessed with?

Yes of course!! With explanations and all!!!!! (Note: i am treating a series as “obscure” when i have 0 friends to talk abt any of them wiht :,) some of these are probably actually populair and im just not aware lol)

1. Lout of the counts family

I want og cale henituse biblically spiritually. i decided i want to get top surgery bc of this series. I am mentally unwell over this man. I would love this man if he was a worm. Literally changed every single pfp i have on anything to this man. I HAVE BEEN RANTING ABOUT THIS MAN FOR A MONTH NOW. MY FRIENDS ARE MAKING FUN OF ME ITS THAT BAD

2. Villains are destined to die

Love my girl penelope! I think her paranoia and the way she interacts with some charas is a little frustrating sometimes but i understand it at the same time, her situation is so scary and she doesnt know everything thats going on 🙏 i wanna go clubbing with her and let her have a moment to just have fun without any worries!!!!! I also like iklies i genuinely think hes just a mentally unstable 17 y old, a very therapy heavy 3 month plan could help him a lot

3. Mobuseka

Classic trash isekai anime but with the twist of it being very funny so i love this series anyway!!!!! Like this guy isnt winning by being kind hes just actively cheating his way through life, beating up nobles with shovels and just being a giant dick. I love this guy 10/10

4. The one with the vending machine

This one isnt obscure at all but i still wanna mention the anime where the guy is so obsessed with vending machines that he dies saving a vending machine from falling off a cliff. And then he wakes up in a fantasy world as a vending machine.

5. I’ve become the heroes rival

THIS SERIES HAD ME ACTUALLY LIKING A STRAIGHT COUPLE. LIKE OF COURSE I WOULDVE PREFERRED THE LESBIANS BUT MAN. THE STRAIGHT COUPLE WAS PRETTY ROMANTIC NGL.

6. I favor the villainess

AGAIN NOT VERY OBSCURE SINCE ITS GETTING ANIMATED BUT THIS IS LITERALLY WHAT I WISH EVERY OTHER ISEKAI MANGA/ANIME OUT THERE WAS I LOVE THEM I LOVE HOMOSEXUALITY

7. The way to protect the female leads older brother

This one is pretty dark compared to the rest on this list but roxana is SO smart and her and her mans are so ❤️❤️❤️ together i hope neither of them dies :,)

8. Beware of the villainess

I LOVE MELISSA NINE AND YURI SO MUCH!!! CARTENA AND BOBBY ARE SO ADORABLE TOGETHER!!! I LOVE HOW MELISSA DOESNT GIVE IN WITH ANY OF THE TERRIBLE MEN AND SHE IS SUCH A GIRLS GIRL!!!!!! MELISSA YOU ARE A ROLE MODEL

9. Omniscient readers viewpoint

Again. Not that obscure since its getting a series. And i havent even read it completely yet. But 1 friend of mine told me about it and now my tiktok page is getting bombarded with orv angst and im 💀💀💀 literally crying at every fucking stupid slideshow. HOW IS ONE SERIES THIS SAD. MAN.

10. The empress’ lipstick

Ngl i dropped this after she panicked about finding the lipstick bc i could not handle the stress. Somehow i can handle roxanas crazy plots but i couldnt handle this??? IN ANY CASE its still a really funny manhwa and i think the main character is hilarious while also giving some insight about beauty standards somehow???

Another series’ ive been enjoying is “royal marriage”, its not an isekai but it follows a really smart woman maneuvering through noble life and getting rid of trash and standing up for herself so its the same vibe as some of them villainess isekais :P

[automaticladystarlight]

14 Savvy Ways to Spend Leftover miniatur kereta api Budget

Oral intercourse is one of a man's favourite pastimes, and the thought of autofellatio - that is definitely, having the ability to administer oral intercourse to oneself - is appealing to most men (whether or not they may be loath to admit it). There are actually very likely not many Guys which have not built at least just one 50 %-hearted try to find out if their mouths could achieve their penises, but The problem discourages most who try out it. (And all those who have not practiced very good penis treatment may well find the up-close look at the organ this offers to become a wake-up connect with to take greater treatment in their junk.) For people who would like to help make further makes an attempt, There are a selection of strategies that may maximize the chances of achievement.™

Put together correctly beforehand.

Bending the human body this sort of that one's own mouth can envelop a single's have penis usually means putting your body able to which it is actually more than likely really unaccustomed. Just as 1 isn't going to roll away from bed and right away run for just a mile, a person should adequately prepare to engage in autofellatio.

Preferably, a person wants to invest at the very least a couple of days "limbering up" in advance of an endeavor. Partaking in any range of stretching routines that involve bending the back may help. Such as, a man might sit With all the soles of his feet touching and his knees distribute out, clutch his ft together with his arms and Carefully bend his head and back again as near the toes as you can, then return to his starting off place. Do bear in mind The theory is to maneuver Carefully. If possible, take a several yoga lessons as one method to assist limber up.

Put together appropriately that working day.

When wanting to suck oneself, the bending is of course about to put many tension about the stomach; as a result, It is a good idea not to eat or consume for a couple of hours before beginning to the activity. A man should also try to rid the bowels and bladder of content material before beginning.

When fifteen or twenty minutes from starting, a man need to have a scorching bathtub so as to loosen up the muscles. He may also want to interact (meticulously) in a couple of basic stretches whilst lying in the tub.

Get it lying down.

Most Guys usually tend to realize autofellatio good results in a very inclined posture rather then standing or sitting. A man must lie along with his head on the pillow (or a number of pillows, determined by his consolation degree), then flip his legs driving his head, along with his toes landing at the rear of his head. (As normally, he need to move cautiously all the time and quit if there is ache involved.) Some Gentlemen may perhaps obtain it easier To achieve this by initially relocating their legs and hips up a wall, offering them extra assist, right before flipping them forward. A person might then scoot forward so the wall provides some back guidance. While using the palms over the buttocks, gently transfer the penis closer on the mouth.

Persistence is essential.

Not many Guys are limber enough to productively complete oral intercourse on them selves The 1st time out. Becoming persistent is critical; if the primary try is actually a failure, the tenth may not mencarimainan be.

As pointed out previously mentioned, autofellatio presents a person an entire new viewpoint on his gear; employing a top rated-drawer penis well being cream (wellness pros advise Man1 Male Oil) would make the Resource glimpse much more inviting, both of those with the autofellator and to any husband or wife he may have. Dry, flaky organ skin can discourage any one from Placing an organ within their mouth, so a product which has a large-stop emollient like Shea butter is needed to retain the skin easy and healthful. Additionally, vitamin C in a very cream should help with collagen generation and penile tissue firmness, that makes the member additional palatable.

[libraryleopard]

I was procrastinating on my homework by thinking about how much I want a New Mutants animated show and occasionally my sister @kazz-brekker​ and I bounce ideas for it off of each other, so I made some New Mutants characters on picrew.

Doug (left) and Warlock (right) are at the top. My sister and I call Doug a “Very Nice Boy” a lot (Alan Davis draws a very cute, huggable-looking Doug in particular) so I gave him a sweater because that kind of fits the vibe for me. Warlock takes on a human form a couple of times in the classic New Mutants comic so I made him in that form, with yellow eyes to indicate that’s there’s something not-quite-human about him. 

Roberto (left), has a Hawaiian shirt. I know he wears it as a reference to Magnum, PI, a show that a current-day teenager probably wouldn’t be into, but I just enjoy the vibe of that outfit for him. (The other day I was talking to my sister about how you’d update the New Mutants as modern teenagers and tormented her with cursed idea that the equivalent of Beto being into a detective show nowadays would be BBC Sherlock, but that’s mostly a joke.) 

I gave Sam (right) freckles and kind of shaggier hair because you can’t do much with face shapes on icon makers, but I’ve always liked that he and Doug have distinct looks from each other despite both being white teenage boys with blond hair. Beto and Sam’s relationship doesn’t read as romantic to me in the original New Mutants comics (I read them has having a three-year age difference in the Claremont run, which can be a significant maturity difference when you’re a teenager) but I do think there’s a vibe between them later on in X-Force (I still haven’t read Hickman’s New Mutants yet), so I think of them, and especially Beto, as bisexual. 

Dani (left) has her hair in her two iconic braids, of course. I think she and Sam have somewhat similar fashion choices as well as being co-leaders of the team, so she’s wearing overalls like he is. I imagine she’s wearing her Cheyenne belt just outside the frame of the picture. I think she should get to be the kind of central viewpoint character for the introduction of the team because 1) I love her and 2) I think it’s interesting that she’s not completely on board with Professor X at the start. She’s younger than Sam, but her age is never explicitly given that I’ve seen, so I think she’s about 15 when she joins the team.

Rahne (right) has her short hair and a hint of fangs to give a sense of her wolf form. I know Rahne has had a string of very bad stories in the 2000s, but in the Claremont run of New Mutants I very much read her as a baby lesbian with a crush on Dani whose struggles with being rejected by her religious community for being a mutants very much parallels and is intertwined with her sexuality. My hot take on New Muutants is that Rahne is not the baby of the team, that’s Beto (early on it says she’s 14 and Beto is 13, though I think that might get retconned later), and she’s just kind of short and naive so she comes off as younger.

X’ian (left) has her hair in the bob haircut with bangs she got in the early issues of the Claremont comics. (I do think her pink buzzcut from X-Force is kinda fun, but I think that’s very much something she would evolve as a character to get.) Also, since her name is actually incorrect by Vietnamese naming conventions, I think an adaptation should have the freedom to call her Xuyen instead. (I also think a lot of her storylines in the early comics, like the grossly fatphobic Shadow King storyline, should be discarded and writers could create new stories for her in an adaptation of the comics. Also, she’s a lesbian, of course. (God bless Vita Ayala for finally giving her a girlfriend.)

Illyana (left) is another member of the overalls gang because she wears them sometimes as a teenager. I know she’s all goth as an adult, but I think that’s less present in her character design as a kid. Designing these characters is also making me realize that in my ideal world like half of the New Mutants are lesbians.

Amara (right) looks completely different from her comics version because I hate the comics version of Amara! In this version, she’d be indigenous Brazilian and…not Empath’s girlfriend. I think, like Xuyen, an adaptation could rewrite a lot of her stories and be the better for it (I believe X-Men: Evolution did, though I’ve never seen it).

I included Tabby (left) because I think she’d be a fun character to join the later seasons of a New Mutants cartoon. She’s not an original member of the team, but she and the other X-Factor kids do end up joining the New Mutants after the events of X-Terminators. 

Rictor (bottom because I ran out of regular image spaces) would also join the New Mutants later. I know he was being a baby punk in this era, but the clothing options didn’t include that, so I gave him a Star Trek t-shirt because he does canonically like Star Trek. He also has long hair because I enjoy when Rictor has long hair! Out of all of these characters, he’s the one I’m incapable of calling by his civilian name because canonically doesn’t let many people call him that. Anyway, I think he and Tabby are tight best friends and I like their relationship.

I also included Shatterstar because 1) he is technically a New Mutants character since he was introduced in the final issue before it relaunched into X-Force and 2) I like him. In this version, he’s biracial because Dazzler’s original character concept had her be a Black disco singer, though I kept his red hair because it’s an iconic part of his character design. I do like how Yasmin Putri drew him on the covers of the Tim Seeley Shatterstar solo series (even if I didn’t like the writing or some of the interior art), so I very badly gave him a glowing eye and a star mark. Also I gave him a little braid because I like when he has a little braid :)

Anyway, I have a lot of other thoughts about a New Mutants cartoon and in particular how a lot of their superpower would translate better to animation than live action, but I’ve spent enough time procrastinating by making this.

[ryouverua]

Saimota is a fantastic ship that only improves with age and their respective maturity. Right from the get-go we see this in canon, too! They have a tumultuous first clash at the end of chapter 1 which is immediately turned on its head, and the subsequent growth and development of their in-game relationship really stands out that much more because of it.

This is a long one, so strap in!

Kaito realizes his mistake in his approach after punching him the night before and rectifies it immediately the next morning when he notices Shuichi hasn’t come to breakfast, rightly guessing that he’s stewing in his own grief and misery. And then, being the emotionally intelligent guy he is, he follows up that night and drags him out to exercise (which, y’know, releases endorphins and is scientifically proven to help with mood boosts and even depression) - a move which Shuichi says in chapter 5 saved his life.

A couple days pass and a body drops. Kaito supports him through the investigation knowing that Kaede had been with him last time and that there’s a danger of him relapsing. In the trial, too, Kaito makes every effort to let Shuichi know that he isn’t alone and someone does have his back if he fumbles. This is the real moment that Shuichi chooses to depend on Kaito and is rewarded for it, and while Kaito does get plenty of ego-feed out of it, he believes in Shuichi and his talent wholeheartedly (enough so that it’ll come back to bite him later). But despite it being framed as a ‘hero and sidekick’ relationship, it’s not just for Kaito’s self-worth - it’s to take some of the mental load off of Shuichi, who really, really doesn’t want the pressure of everyone’s lives solely on his shoulders, and is now dealing with the guilt of two cases where uncovering the guilty party hurt him.

(quick chapter 2 interlude! while this is where a lot of the big hero-worship begins for Shuichi and happens to be where I also did his first FTE and got to witness this:

this is also the chapter when these moments happen, post-breakfast and post-casino scene respectively:

and this happens in the very next FTE:

mmm yes, the duality of man. Suffice it to say, while Shuichi has definite rose-coloured glasses on for a lot of the game, Kaito is definitely not an invincible, untouchable hero in his eyes)

Interestingly enough, despite Shuichi still very much leaning into their friendship (and vice versa), they don’t spend a lot of time together in Chapter 3 after he brings Maki out to training that first night! While Chapter 4 is their real ‘break’, Kaito spends a lot of time in his room in the second half while Shuichi gets to know Maki better. And while Maki is a much, uh, meaner investigation partner (love you girl, but that tongue is sharp), they make a great team. Shuichi also starts poking at Kaito’s reason for holing up in his room, incorrectly guess that it’s just related to the occult being brought up. Most importantly, Shuichi is able to do an investigation on his own independent of Kaito just a week after the end of Chapter 1.

Chapter 4 and its immediate aftermath in 5 is great because it showcases Kaito’s flaws and insecurity, and what conflict between the two of them look like. It’s because Kaito respects Shuichi so much that cracks in his own confidence start appearing - and while Shuichi can be obtuse and awkward at times, he shows signs of wanting to broach some more sensitive topics with Kaito; if you do FTEs with Kaito in Ch 4, he even has an inner narrative in which he notes that Kaito had said his stomach hurt before.

He’s not so self-absorbed as to not worry about his friend (but narratively we gotta save that juicy plot point and subsequent reveal for the end of the trial) but hey, Kaito wants to chill and just shoot the shit - so why not have some downtime with his friend in the murder school. Btw, their FTE availability ends here - so if Shuichi has completed them with Kaito, he’s already had his canon-saimota thoughts at this point. While I have given Shuichi the side-eye for his ‘I can rely on Kaito for anything’ spiel, he is fully able and willing to stand up to Kaito in the Chapter 4 trial despite his canon feelings for him at that point. By the way, it’s been a week and a half since the end of Chapter 1 at this point. Shuichi and Kaito have had an arc together where they become fast friends in a pressure-cooker situation and bonding over shared grief for Kaede (even if Kaito’s is less obvious), Shuichi starts as dependent on Kaito’s emotional support but learns to stand on his own two feet, and Kaito is forced to confront his own weakness and hero persona, all while classmates are dropping (including Kaito’s own ex-hero figure, a stark reminder that ‘heroes’ do have flaws).

So the beginning of Chapter 5 is wild to me because of how it’s so often misinterpreted as Kaito immaturely giving Shuichi the silent treatment despite the entirety of the game preceding it explicitly showing that Kaito will tell you, loudly, when he’s angry at you, and that’s purely because we’re in Shuichi’s perspective and he thinks that’s what’s going on - but that’s a bit of a tangent. What I like about it is how we get to see what happens when Kaito (as sick as he is at that point) feels badly and embarrassed with someone he is close to; he withdraws as opposed to lashing out. And while Shuichi is really, really bad at reaching out too without an inciting incident (tunnel escape), he does try and broach the topic when push comes to shove. He’s not lost in hero worship, not even close - he is rightfully upset that the person he’s closest to at the school is upset while still maintaining to himself and the others that his actions were correct. He doesn’t waver on this, despite his attempt to offer an olive branch at the window of the hangar’s bathroom. He truly stands by his own choices in the last class trial and know he won't back down on that if push comes to shove, and that's important - he won't yield the point just to appease Kaito. Shuichi then manages the investigation on his own, leads the trial on his own, faces off with Maki (and who he thinks is Kokichi) on his own, because he has *reached* a point where he can be independent. And to bring it back to how we get a look at ‘saimota in conflict’, Shuichi and Kaito both make amends with each other by the end of the chapter. Even if it’s spurred by it being their final goodbye, Shuichi gets to say his piece, Kaito lays out one of his own vulnerabilities so he can make peace with Shuichi - and even if I’d love to have had them delve into all of Kaito's various issues, there is a very murderous robobear overseeing this which makes time a factor - and I firmly believe that if they had more time, they could’ve resolved even more of the issues that would come up for Saimota. The groundwork wasn’t just there; there was already half the structure in place. And that’s what makes saimota even more appealing to me, tbh. We get to see them build a relationship, run into a big issue, struggle through it and resolve it by the end of the game - and it means that there’s precedent for them to do it again as more interpersonal challenges come up! It’s a goldmine of ship exploration, and they care about each other enough to work through it.

… By the way, at this point they are 2 weeks past the end of Chapter 1.

Imagine if they had more time. Imagine if Shuichi, who is absolutely dogged in pursuing an issue once he catches wind of it (despite how he can get wrapped up in his own head), who cares a lot for other people, who doesn’t just find runaways as part of his detective talent, but follows up with them after because he cares about more than just finishing the job, had the chance to spend years with Kaito and realize he uses his hero persona to protect a much more fragile sense of self. Imagine Shuichi forming that initial friendship with Kaito without the albatross of Kaede’s death hanging around his neck; about how he’ll still look up to Kaito and his fantastic positivity, passion and excellence in his chosen field, and that would only be matched by Kaito’s own admiration of Shuichi’s skills as a detective. Imagine if Kaito, who repeatedly shows the ability to reflect and change his mind when presented with evidence against his viewpoint and was able to express his own insecurity and jealousy to Shuichi in the end, was given the breathing room and space to get more comfortable with doing so. Imagine how difficult and emotionally mature they were to navigate as well as they did in a life-or-death situation that took place over a couple of weeks tops, and how much more they could grow if given the time and space for it.

... And this was nearly going to be where I ended the post, until Ira reminded me of TDP and sent me this wonderful Saimota event (which takes place before the final graduation/training trio event):

Oh hey, Shuichi picked up his catchphrase! It's quite cute how he's finishing Kaito's sentence here - he's spent a couple of years being friends with Kaito at this point, and has even taken up exercising on his own for stress relief. I wonder whose influence that was?

Anyway -

Shuichi has figured out at this point that he does need to firmly extend that helping hand to Kaito rather than worry and keep it to himself. On the other side, Kaito has learned that it is okay to accept that outstretched hand, even if he doesn't need it right now - that he can admit that some day, he might. He's being blase, sure, but it is a far cry from his in-game 'I don't/won't need help'. Good for you, Kaito - you've grown a lot! And that's the most important thing their TDPs show - their capacity for growth not just as individuals, but in a relationship. Of course there will be bumps along the way - it’s very rare that any relationship won’t have them! - but they've proven that they can work these problems in the worst of circumstances. This is by far one of the strongest ships with canon foundation in the entire series, and my goodness do I still love it years later.

[snowlily95]

Aerith in light of healthcare provider

So, I've wanted to write an analysis about Aerith in light of her medical viewpoint for quite a long time but only recently got the chance to complete it. It is well known in the game that Aerith is the healer of the story. She possesses a great MP with a limit break to heal and buff people which greatly affects your gameplay. Of course, you can equip others with Healing and Prayer materias to render them useful for healing as well. But story-wise, no one can take away Aerith's status as the healer. We know in canon that Aerith provided herbs to the Sector 5 slums doctor to create medicine. And if you finished the Corneo Stash side quest in Chapter 14, you can return to the church and see a couple of elderly sitting on the pew praying. And when you come closer to them you'll hear them talking about how they didn't see Aerith around and they're sure she's alright and probably be around healing people. You know, since the Sector 7 plate just fell. (Even though Aerith is not alright actually coz she was kidnapped by Shinra by this time) Point is, we are fed by the NPCs on how much Aerith had helped around as a healer. She had been doing this for years.

While being in denial about who she actually is, being a healer had always been implanted in her. She is used to it. When you're used to being a healer, there's a certain level when you have a different reaction compared to others. The way you think is different. Apart from that, she's also a Cetra. And we knew for a fact Cetra had a certain affinity towards souls who are returning to the Planet. Meaning, as much as she is used to healing others, she's also used to sensing death.

My whole point is that being a Cardiac Anaesthesiologist and Intensivist as I am, I can totally relate my position with Aerith, as we both have constantly helped people and encounter death on daily basis. While I'm pretty confident that the majority of these might be coincidences (because I'm pretty sure there are no doctors in the SE team), I thought the coincidences are pretty cool to ponder upon and I'm amazed at how the subtle differences between Aerith's reaction to events from other characters.

I'm gonna ignore the meta part of Aerith, mainly because I'm not discussing how much Aerith knew, and if there was anything in jeopardy of what she knew whatsoever. So we're gonna focus on the fact that she is used to healing and feeling people's death. People who are used to death on daily basis had a certain unique view on life and death. And that affects how we act upon facing them too. While this is evident throughout Remake, I'm gonna focus on the plate drop event to be more concise. I will also use Tifa as a comparison to make it easier to see the difference between the reaction of the two. Let’s start!

1) Aerith is quick in emergency situations.

When you are used to people dying, you developed a certain immunity and you are able to have a sound mind and composure at the sudden change of event. As healthcare providers, we face stable situations turning into critical real fast. And we have a switch in our minds that turns us from standby mode to rescue mode. This is exactly what happened to Aerith when Don Corneo revealed Shinra's plan to blow up Sector 7's support pillar. Tifa is part of Sector 7. It is her home. Which is why her reaction showed how she was super devastated, she slowly stood up and muttered "They wouldn't..." because she couldn't believe it. Aerith? She had that switch in her mind, and she immediately turned and say "Come on, guys! We gotta go!". She switched into that critical mode in a second. It helps that she's also not personally connected to Sector 7, and thus her judgment was not as impaired. Of course, they both switched into the critical mode in the sewer, but it was at the moment of revelation that made it different. Just like how healthcare providers switched at the moment of revelation that their patients are at the brink of death—you immediately jumped into rescue mode.

2) She plans for the worst.

Remember after they defeated Abzu and Tifa started to question Corneo's information? She didn't want to believe it, because it didn't make sense to destroy your years of efforts building the plate just to get back to a small group like AVALANCHE. Think about the money they put in to build it, they're gonna have to put them all again. In fact, along their way out of the sewer, Tifa voiced out multiple times how this had been bothering her. But I'm intrigued with Aerith's reply "If he's telling the truth, then we should go. And if it turns out he was lying, then so what?". This here is exactly what doctors do. We plan and prepare for the worst. And if the worst didn't happen, then so what? If you ever had life-saving surgery, your doctors would tell you "You need this surgery coz you might die. But if you do the surgery, there's a high chance you'll survive, but there's a small chance you'll die too". And we prepare for that small chance that our patients die. No, we don't let our preparations lacking because we hope they'll survive. We prepare for the worst outcome possible and get all the equipment ready in case they'll die. If they didn't, then so what? It doesn't mean our preparations were futile efforts. It only means we were prepared. And that line of Aerith seriously hits home to me.

3) She hopes for the best.

Before they crossed the water sewer, Tifa once again voiced out how she couldn't stop thinking about what Corneo said, and she was still hoping that he was lying. And then Aerith said, "The future isn't set in stone". (Again, I'm gonna ignore the meta part of Aerith) And then she proceeded to set up that small date with Tifa. Believe it or not, this is actually what we do during bad calls. We'd talk about what we would do after all this ends; we'd go out dining, or playing games/darts, or go drinking, or whatever it is that makes us happy. Just to keep our minds calm and to allow us to hope for the future, even if it's just a few hours away. It gives us hope and courage to go on. We plan for the worst, but we hope for the best. The more critical the situation is, the more you need to be level-headed. And needless to say, after this point onwards, Tifa is much more calmed down from her struggle to keep herself focus.

4) She follows orders.

This might sound weird to some, but the ability to cast away your worry and focus on what you can do, instead of what you should do, is important in emergency situations. You need to know what you don't know. You don't get in the way of your comrades. If you're not good at intubating, you don't insist to intubate in emergency situations just because you wanna help. Seriously, you'll just make things worse. When Cloud, Tifa, and Aerith were attacked before climbing up and out of the sewer, Cloud asked both Tifa and Aerith to keep going. Aerith immediately answers "Okay" and left—without a single but. This is significant because it shows that Aerith knew she'd be better off leaving. She doesn't need to offer help, coz her help was not needed. This is not the place where she could help. The ability to recognize this is very important for healthcare professionals. Tifa was a bit more reluctant to leave, but that's probably because she is a martial artist in-game. Also, the fact that Aerith could still joke "We're not delicious" is just so real lol! Yup, we joke sometimes when we're facing deaths—doesn't mean we lose focus in saving the dying person in front of us, don't worry. And then it happens again when they reached Sector 7 when Cloud asked them to stay with Wedge as he goes up, Aerith immediately answered "sure"—because she can "patch" Wedge up, it's where her abilities lie. This is even more accentuated when an injured Wedge argued that he can still fight when he clearly can't—making this point even more obvious. Aerith is someone with a healthcare mind, Wedge was not.

5) She supports her comrades emotionally even when she’s worried too.

When they reached the surface, they spotted a Shinra helicopter. Cloud assured them they're only on patrol. Aerith turned to Tifa and said, "Don't worry, we'll make it in time". This moment is also very iconic to me. As I mentioned, I'm an anaesthesiologist. We are the support doctors to surgeons and physicians. Those moments when we're operating on AAA surgeries and the patient is losing liters of blood and literally dying, we're pumping bloods in with our hands and get those Level 1 machines operating, and the surgeons would be panicking because it keeps bleeding? Yep, I did say it before. "We'll make it. Just concentrate on the surgery and don't worry about the bleeding", even though I'm sweating and dying here trying to keep the patient alive. But I pretended to be calm in front of my team and cheered them on. Because the whole team needs to keep calm. If one of the team loses hope, then bid your chance farewell. As an anaesthesiologist, we're almost like the anchor in the room. People look at us to know if everything's alright. I need to tell them it's alright, so they need not worry. Aerith knew Tifa is worried. And she tried to keep Tifa calm with reassurance. Even if she probably freaked out herself.

6) She doesn’t discriminate.

After they defeated the ghost at the haunted maintenance facility, Cloud tried to kill it, and Aerith didn't let him. When Cloud said that thing was dangerous, Aerith said she knows and added "but even so..." she didn't feel right about killing it. (Let's ignore the fact that the Ghoul was a lonely creature for now) It then goes to drop the train wreck which almost killed them had it not been for Cloud. Now this would have been avoided had Aerith let Cloud killed it—maybe. But here's the thing. When you're hyper-aware that people are dying left and right, you value life more. No one deserves to die, even the worst criminal in the world. You're a law-abiding citizen? You're a criminal? It doesn't make a difference to us. I know this is something super hard to comprehend. But technically only when the law subjects the criminal to the death sentence that a person should be left to die. I've been a doctor for eleven years, I was a prison doctor for two. I had the first-hand experience of dealing with criminals. It's not my job to determine whether they deserve to die or not. It's not my call whether they will turn a new leaf had they lived. I know this is something others find difficult to relate to and agree with—happens to my non-medical family and friends. The verdict to us is simple. It's a life. It's worth saving. Period. (Technically the ghosts are dead though but my point still stands)

7) She tries to her best abilities and lets go of what is out of her control.

Tifa's emotions are tampered with again when they confirmed Shinra was going to drop the plate when they overheard the Turks conversation. Her voice shook, we can literally hear it. Aerith's response was "all we can do now is keep moving". And she's right. When they reached Sector 7 and the Whispers were preventing them, she said "we have to get past whatever it takes". And later on, Tifa left to help Cloud and Barret, and Aerith agreed to get to Seventh Heaven to ensure Marlene's safety. Wedge had a short mental breakdown when he realized he was no good to anyone up or down the crime scene. And Aerith told him "We can still save a lot of lives", "That's no excuse to give up", "I need to know I did everything I could". Her encouragement helped Wedge save more people. Some argued, did she not care about the lives that already died? Now here's my point; no, we don't. Sorry if this sounds harsh, but really. What can we do for people who are already dead? Nothing. What can we do for people who are still alive? Everything. And this is the core of being a healthcare provider—we prioritize. Yes, we're also humans. We can get emotional when our own friends and relatives die. (Aerith might not be as calm had it happened at Sector 5) But when we put the healthcare provider cap on, we mean business. That is why when disasters happened, and we triage people with a black tag? That's when we know we couldn't do anything for them. We don't mourn at the black tags. We move on to the other tags instead. So that we know we already did everything in our power to help. And yes, it doesn't matter even if we lost more lives than we saved. It's worth it, even if we only saved one person out of thousands of deaths. Just like how Aerith saved Betty in Sector 7. That one life is worth it.

[alpacaparkaseok]

As Fate Would Have It

[1 / 5] 

Ghost

The last time I saw him was July 16, 1392. It was also the day I died. 

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➣ pairing/genre: idol!KTH x reader, past life au // feat. OT7 BTS

➣ word count: 1.3k (jus a lil bitty beginning)

➣ warnings/tags: this is gonna talk about death, but not in a super gruesome/direct way. we keep things pretty SFW over here

a/n: here we goooo! thank you guys for sticking around for this new series, I hope you enjoy it! as always, your comments, reblogs, and asks mean so much to me and really help more than you know to keep going. So please let me know how you feel about this new series! Enjoy! 💕 p.s. if you didn’t read the prologue I would recommend you do! 

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“This is a major downgrade,” you sulk while shivering beside a crowded bus stop.

           “Yeah, well,” Noa, your roommate gripes from your right, “at least you got to be royalty once. Quit complaining.”

           “I heard that Kate Middleton is on her third life, and she’s been royalty all three times!” Daeun chimes in from your left. She’s also shivering, clinging to a flimsy umbrella that’s doing a poor job of keeping the three of you safe from the rain.

           “Like what, born into royalty? Or did she manage to marry into it like this lifetime?”

           Daeun and Noa continue chattering away, throwing off multiple theories and speculating about Kate Middleton’s past lives. Of course it’s all guesswork; the details of previous lives are usually meant to be kept secret. However it provides a temporary distraction from the bad weather, which is all you can really ask for right now. Hopefully it will prove enough of a distraction to sway you from your rampant thoughts of last night’s dream.

           “Being born royal isn’t all that fun,” an elderly woman calls out as she ambles up from her seat to catch the approaching bus. It’s not the one you’re taking, that won’t be here for another couple of minutes. “My mistress saw a lot of sorrow in her day, and few remember her now. She deserved to be remembered, in my opinion. I owe her my first life.”

           You tilt your head, squinting a little as the woman gives a wistful sigh. A memory nudges you from the catacombs of your mind.

           “Who was your mistress?” The question falls from your lips before you can catch it.

           The woman blinks, smiling softly. It’s almost as though the mere thought of her past mistress brings her peace. “Iseul, the final daughter of the Goryeo dynasty.”

           The name carries a weight that comes crashing into you, both liberating and binding you to your memories. You’ve heard that name before, albeit centuries ago. And this woman…

           “Ja-young.”

           Two syllables, enormous power. The instant you utter them, the elderly woman gasps and drops her cane in shock. You rush forward, picking it up and placing it gently in her hands with a warm smile. There are tears in Ja-young’s eyes as you look at her, her old face creased with wrinkles and countless stories.

           “My…my lady…” Ja-young attempts to bow, drawing the attention of several onlookers. You grasp her shoulders, stopping her.

           “There’s no need to bow,” you reassure. “I’m just a girl now. I hold no power.”

           Ja-young shakes her head. “No, my lady. I- I owe you my first life! What you did for me-”

           “You would have done the same for me.”

           “Oh, my Lady…” Ja-young’s bottom lip quivers as she clutches your forearm with surprising strength. “My wish has been granted. For so long I’ve been waiting to meet you again. You look just as you did, all those years ago…how did I not see it sooner? So vibrant – you haven’t changed at all.”

           Noa and Daeun remain silent behind you, having experienced this before. It’s not your fault that nearly all your court from your first lifetime as the emperor’s daughter in the Goryeo dynasty have just so happened to be born within the same lifetime. Although, it does become a little odd when you cross paths with a gossipy maid or flirtatious errand boy in the produce aisle of your local grocery store.

           Life is funny that way. You’re on top of the world one moment, and living off of a diet of Mac n Cheese the next.

           “I’m happy to see you like this,” you smile. “You’ve lived a full life, it appears.”

           Ja-young inclines her head. “As I did in my first lifetime, so long ago. My Lady-”

           “I’m afraid that I’m just Hana now,” you gently correct. Despite the fact that you’re living in the 21st century, you still aren’t the most keen on the general public discovering your identity. Not when there’s potential danger still lurking out there.

           “Oh, if that’s the case then I’m Ma-ri now,” Ja-young – now Ma-ri says. “Hana, I’ve been praying for the opportunity to see you again. I’m running out of time now.”

           Time. It once seemed so infinite. And now it’s slipping through your fingertips faster than you can keep up.

           “You’ve made it to your fourth…?”

           Ma-ri nods solemnly. “And final lifetime. But I wanted to tell you, my Lady, that I kept my promise to you. I visited your grave often, I told my children stories of you. However, I wasn’t the only one who frequented the site.”

           You jump as the bus driver lets out a shrill honk, clearly impatient. Ma-ri turns around, waving him on. With a shrug and an eye-roll, the bus driver closes the doors and continues on his way. Now the bus stop is empty save for your party of four.

           “Who else visited me?” You ask, curious now at the gleam in Ma-ri’s eye. She had always been a feisty one, if you remember correctly.

           An invisible shudder runs through Ma-ri’s body as she finally delivers the message she’s waited three lifetimes to deliver. Indeed, she can pass on to the unknown now that she’s finally laid eyes on her mistress once more.

           “Sungho.”

--

           “Kim Taehyung is not a murderer!” Noa defends, crossing her arms protectively as you clench your jaw.

           “No, but Sungho was. And they’re one and the same, aren’t they?” You mirror her, also crossing your arms. “Aren’tthey?”

           Your eyes flicker across the street, toward a billboard that lauds a BTS sponsorship for all to see. However, all you see is Sungho, smiling down at you with those same dark eyes from centuries ago.

           Ma-ri left just a few minutes ago, catching a bus and leaving you with a scribbled address to visit anytime you wanted. You tucked it away safely into the pocket of your jeans before losing your mind.

           “Hana, I don’t think you should be directing your anger at Taehyung,” Daeun quietly interjects, standing just off to the side. “He’s done a lot of good in this life-”

           “You’ll understand when you’re older!” You grind out. Noa winces, but begrudgingly agrees.

           “Yeah…sorry Daeun, but you’re a first-lifer. You’ll understand the next time around. It’s hard to separate people from what they were before.”

           Daeun doesn’t argue, knowing it’s pointless. Living with seasoned lifers, as people who have lived multiple lives have been so lovingly dubbed, doesn’t allow much room for argument. Noa sports two past lives, enjoying her third. And you…

           “Is this really how you wanna live this life?” Noa says, arching a brow. “Angry at some idol philanthropist just because of what happened in your first life? C’mon, Hana. That was three lifetimes ago.”

           “You’re not suggesting that I get over it, are you?”

           “Well…”

           “Nuh-uh,” you take a step back, offended. “No way. Goryeo fell, I died, and he was there to watch everything burn to the ground. And I’m just supposed to let it go all because he’s some adored global icon?”

           “YES!” Both Noa and Daeun shout, sending a few birds flying from a nearby bush.

           You pause to think, staring daggers up at the billboard and Taehyung’s flawless features. Perhaps you would find him beautiful if it weren’t for the past marring your current viewpoint. You stare and stare, mind whirring with the possibilities of all that you could do instead of forgiving.

           “It’s no use sitting here and sulking about the past, not when I can’t do anything about it…” you start, ignoring the relieved expressions on your roommates’ faces.

           “Good, that’s good.”

           “But…”

           “No, back up. You were doing so well!”

           The corners of your lips turn up into an evil grin. “…I have an idea.”

           Daeun groans. “What’s the stupid idea now?”

           You shake your head, stepping forward as the bus rounds the corner. “I’m not telling you.”

           “Why not?”

           “Because you’ll try to stop me.”

           Noa elbows you lightly. “At least tell us what your end goal is here.”

           The bus pulls up, doors opening and a flurry of people pouring out onto the street. In the din and chaos of it all, you turn to your friends.

           “If you can’t beat them…” again, your eyes fall on the billboard, quickly finding Taehyung’s eyes among the rest. “Join ‘em.”

--

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[darklingichor]

Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir **MAJOR SPOILERS**

So, this is a first, I've never written a revisit this fast.

I do often read or listen to an especially good book, again, right after I finish it. Usually because I can't get into another book until I do.

I did it with Lamb, and I did it with the Martian.

This one is going to be chock full of spoilers, I really want to analyze the main characters in this book, and I can't do that without going into details. This is why I marked the hell out of this.

Project Hail Mary is even better the second time around. This is often the case. Books are like soup. The leftovers from the fridge are often even better than when you had it the first time.

*SPOILERS* *SERIOUSLY SPOILERS TURN BACK NOW IF YOU HAVEN’T READ THIS BOOK* *SPOILERS* *THE REST OF THIS RAMBLE WILL RUIN THE BOOK* *SPOILERS*

Okay, so run down.

The book opens with our main character waking up to an annoying computer asking him basic math questions. This is detecting cognitive function, that's my guess anyway.

Our character quickly discovers a few things. First, he's in a room with robot arms tending to him, including unhooking him from various life support systems as it figures out that he is awake and functioning. He's not alone in the room, there are two others, but they are long dead. And he has no idea, who he is, where he is, or why he's there.

What follows for a little while is what I would call a psychological screwball comedy. It takes him several days to work out that his name is Ryland Grace and he is a microbiologist PhD who had a falling out with the academic community and found his calling as a Jr. High science teacher. Though exploration, experiments, and memory flashes, he works out that he is on a spaceship, the corpses were his crewmates, and he is on a mission to Tau Ceti to save earth from an alien algae like creature, called Astropgage, that is dimming the sun and setting earth on the course to an ice age that will begin to wipe out humanity in 30 years. Tau Ceti, which is 12 light years away from earth, is resistant to this energy sucking algae.

We get all the backstory of how he became a crew member aboard the ship Hail Mary, in flashbacks as his memories return. A big memory that returns? Project Hail Mary is a suicide mission, he will not be going home.

In the meantime, he is slowly trying to figure out how to save earth, while he does this, he sees a very weird spaceship and meets an intelligent alien being. This being (Grace calls him Rocky) comes from a world (Earid) that is in the same situation as Earth. Together, Grace and Rocky have to work out how to save both of their home worlds.

Ryland Grace is a complex character, he’s very very different from Mark Watney (I haven't read Artimis so I can't make comparisons to those characters).

The Martian points out that Astronauts are inherently noble, willing to risk their lives for science and a good cause.

Grace is not an astronaut. That's not to say that he isn't a good person, just that he is an average person. He can be all at once self-sacrificing and selfish.

Early on he is drafted into the research team on what would be called Astropgage as a science expert by Eva Strat, a woman in charge of figuring out what is going on and how to stop it.

Once he was released from his part in this research, he goes back to teaching, only to be struck by the fact that his students would be in their early forties when all hell breaks loose, and that they might die. He then goes back to Strat and demands to be part of the research again.

This back and forth happens a few times in the story. In fact, it becomes a big part of it. See, the crew of the Hail Mary were put into comas to ensure that they would not go nuts and kill each other on the 12 light-year (four years from their perspective) journey, a medical company discovered that 1 in 7000 people have the genes to survive long comas and still function when they wake up. Grace is one of those people, but he is not volunteering for this mission. It's not that he doesn't care, or even that he doesn't want to help, it's that he's scared. And who wouldn't be? But honestly? I think Grace has imposture syndrome and is generally very sensitive. He realized that his kids would suffer, after starting to teach a class, that speed him to become a part of Strat's team again. Events happen that lead him to being the only logical candidate for the science expert aboard the Hail Mary. He refused, Strat basically kidnaps him, sets the computer induce amnesia in only Grace and plunks him on board.

Before she does this, she harshly calls Grace out.

“Do you think I don’t know you, Dr. Grace?!” she yelled. “You’re a coward and you always have been. You abandoned a promising scientific career because people didn’t like a paper you wrote. You retreated to the safety of children who worship you for being the cool teacher. You don’t have a romantic partner in your life because that would mean you might suffer heartbreak. You avoid risk like the plague.” (pg. 392 Kindle Edition)

This all seems to be true, but we don't know Grace's full story. Other than a mention of one girlfriend in college, and brief mentions of friends, There is nothing in the book about his life before he started teaching. This could be because the amnesia has left those things fuzzy, but in my head, it's because he doesn't want to think about it. Maybe he had a bad family life, maybe he had *no* family life, maybe he had an early tragedy. Maybe he realized his short comings and that, no matter his talent, he just didn't have the temperament for acidemia.

He does like being the cool teacher, he does say he likes being looked up to, but this isn't necessarily a bad thing. He's a *good* teacher.

I had cool teachers before I switched to home school. They weren't all good. I had one that would literally just let us mess around during class because they didn't want to actually grade papers. Cool to a kid? Absolutely! Good for education? Not on your life.

Grace isn't like that, he loves science, he loves teaching, and the kids are learning.

He doesn't like animal testing, he's emotional at the fragility of humanity. In short, in his quiet way he loves life.

He leaves his comfort zone to be a part of Strat's team because he knows he's good at what he does and he couldn't look at his students and knowing they could die when he could help prevent it. That doesn't mean he thinks he will be Earth's savior, just that he can help.

He's unwilling to die.

Usually in books and movies, this translates to coward, but really? It's not. Most people wouldn't volunteer for a suicide mission, especially one this pressure filled. "So, we need you to go into a coma, go to a different solar system, save your whole species, and then kill yourselves so you won't starve to death. We good? Cool."

You can't fault a living being for wanting to live. Plus, the other crew members had time to think it through, really decide, make peace with the decision and *then* carry through with the training. Grace? He was given the training, but Strat always said it was for the science of the mission. She was a little like Dumbledore, in that she was training him in case he had to go, but never told him it was a possibility. When it became clear that he was the choice for the vacant spot, he was given less than five hours to decide, and then was told he had no choice.

He makes noble choices throughout the book, but that one choice was not his own, because Strat was given absolute power and used it absolutely.

I can't say that Strat is a villain, either. She was elected to save earth and given the power to cut through any red tape. Handed all this authority, she doesn't become corrupt, she uses this power ruthlessly, but always with the only goal being Save Earth, full stop, that's it. And even as Grace, understandably terrified, yells at her she tells him that she likes him, that she knows that he is a good man, that he will give this  his all. She doesn't *want* to send this unwilling and scared man on a suicide mission. She *has* to. Strat is also complex, she is not nonsense and is committed to her role in saving humanity. I like the reason she gives as to why, toward the end of the book. She got her undergrad degree in history. She takes to heart the old saying that those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it.

The climate scientists and their models assumed survival based on the idea that all countries will work together for the common goal. However, Strat points out that history shows that that ideal scenario, is not likely to work. She says that most wars, up until very recently, were fought over food, and resulting in famine.  As the sun loses energy and crops fail, there will be wars, and they will be over food. And that is what she is desperately trying to avoid – the horror of history brought to the modern day.

I started as a history major, and history is interwoven into anthropology – I understand this perspective.

I am not going to get into politics, but I’ve experienced the agonizing frustration of watching history repeat itself, more than once in the last couple of years. Guessing at how something will probably go due to how something lines up with a similar event in the past and knowing that if someone in power would just listen it might turn out different, or that the eventual problems could at least be prepared for, and watch it happen anyway and everyone act surprised. It’s enough to make you pull your hair out.

Strat has the knowledge and the authority to act on it, I can’t say, that in her position I wouldn’t act the same way.

That is the major difference between Grace and Strat: viewpoint. By necessity of her position and by virtue of her education, she sees the big picture clearly, Grace, however, doesn’t. He’s a microbiologist, his entire career and education is looking closely at the small things and how they would translate to big things. He studies the universe by studying the smallest things in it. It is no surprise that he would need the smaller things to make the bigger things to snap into focus. When he was forced to start research on astrophage, it wasn’t until he was faced with the small scale (his kids could suffer) to make him see his part in the grand scheme of things. Strat is right, he does avoid risk, because he’s avoiding pain, he doesn’t let things in because he feels too much. Yes, the realization about the kids, puts steel in his spine, but not before he narrowly avoids a break down. For Grace, seeing Strat’s point of view, without being able to work it though to his scale, is like yelling at someone standing too close to a mountain for not being able to see the peak. It just can’t be done from where they are.

It makes me wonder, had Strat been up front with Grace, would he have willingly gone? It takes him a while to come around to the idea of helping the project in the first place. If he were told sooner, given some time, had been able to go home, and think, I feel like he would have gone. Something would have set him on the course. Maybe it would have been one of his former students, telling him about their plans for trying out for high school track, or going to college,  maybe he would have gone to his usual cafe for breakfast and found out that one of the waitresses had just gotten engaged, maybe he would be told these things and see the fear and desperate need to keep life as normal as possible in the person's eyes, and then he would decide, if, on the off chance  no one else could go, he would. Until he remembers his refusal, nearly at the end of the book, he accepts quickly that he volunteered for the mission. Of course, that could have been simply because he couldn't imagine someone forcing someone into something like that, but even as his memories and sense of self come back to him, he doesn't have a sense of terror or blind panic at the fact that he's not going home. I would think that if his unwillingness were something hard wired into his personality, he would know soon after remembering who he is, that he would have never considered being a part of the voyage.

So, I think, had Strat told Grace early on that he had the coma resistant genes and that there was a small possibility that he may have to be the backup for the backup, and then allowed him to come to terms with it, he would have gone without the drama. Don’t get me wrong, there is the possibility that he would have run off and had to have been hunted down, but I think, just like when he went to his class and saw his students, something would have made his conscious kick in, and he would have come back.

That might have been interesting, him running scared for a little while and then coming back? Might have given a little more background into why he is the way he is. But that’s not really what this book is about, I think it’s a forgone about conclusion that Grace would have helped, but what’s really interesting is how Grace and Rocky work together.

Rocky is cool! I love that Weir didn’t go the easy route with the creation of an alien character. Rocky is no Roswell gray with a humanoid form. No no, for our sympathetic alien, we have a spider like creature with liquid mercury for blood who “sees” with echolocation and speaks in musical notes. And it works!!

Rocky is expressive and funny and is great with Grace. It’s hilarious, other than the Russian scientist on Project Hail Mary, he doesn’t get along with anyone as well as he does with Rocky, out of everyone in the book, Grace connects most with a spider shaped rock being, he has to make a computer program to speak with.

Rocky is a tad steadier than Grace, but that makes sense simply because of the two, Rocky knew what he was getting into, and Eridens not only have more time before their star dims to the point of causing a problem, but also, they live a long long time, so, Rocky knows he is going home. But the steadiness is also built into his personality. He and Grace are both analytical problem solvers, but seeing that Rocky is an engineer, his focus is to fix things. A problem arises, and his first reaction is “I will fix that.” He won’t be dissuaded until he has all avenues exhausted.

Grace has a habit, early on, of moping for a little while before rallying and getting to work. His interaction with Rocky brings that pouting time down a bit, and he even pulls Rocky out of a slump a time or two.

The relationship between these two is interesting because Grace says flat out that he is not a social person, he feels awkward in groups with people. But he easily communicates with his students, and he easily communicates with Rocky. Rocky is not childlike, but he does have something in common with the students, Grace, like any teacher, teaches his students, and learns from them. Grace teaches Rocky and learns from him. Grace is comfortable with this sort of interaction; with his students this is where the relationship stops. With Rocky, it doesn’t have that boundary. By virtue of the fact that both are alone in space and crave interaction, they talk a lot. Also, activities that Grace is use to doing alone, Rocky’s culture requires to be done in pairs. The biggest: Sleeping.

Eridens do not sleep without another person watching them. So, he insists that he watch Grace sleep and that Grace watches him. It is not expressly said what other things Eridens don’t do alone, but it is implied (at least to me) that they work better in pairs or in groups. This is true of humans as well, but Grace in particular is a loner, even as he complains that science doesn’t happen with one scientist doing the work (and he’s right) but he does work alone even when the astrophage project opened up to more people, the feeling I get is that he still does most of his work alone unless asked to teach others, or forced to come along by Strat.

Grace quickly becomes acclimated to Rocky’s way of doing things, in an odd way, Grace is more comfortable being Eriden, than he is being human. And I really think that this is the crux of their relationship.

I read somewhere recently that family isn’t necessarily blood, but who you would bleed for.

I feel that Rocky and Grace would sacrifice themselves for their respective home worlds, but they will bleed for each other. Grace must go to a different star system to find family, which is actually really cool to me, because the story manages to have Grace have a story of growth and even a quiet redemption arc all with the background noise of a potential double Armageddon, and we manage not to lose sight of any of these elements. Add to this that the book will make you laugh, cry and think all at once. I love the Martian, but I honestly think this one is better!