#so i end up using the savings to pay for it
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[ID: 1 screenshot in initial post and 3 screenshots in reblog.
initial post: tweet of Tiberius @ecomarxi. tweet is commenting on reddit post: "i work in pediatric neurology. we have UHC deny seizure medications that we can definitely tell will benefit patients based on their EEG results because it's not UHC's preferred medication. patient has to fail the preferred medication first. and by fail, this means that patient has to have a shitload of seizures. so these kids have to seize their fucking brains out to get a medication that we know will control their seizures. fuck health insurance companies." tweet comments: "when i say capitalists actively harm people for profits i mean it in the most literal sense."
replies in reblog:
from @/le-chaire-de-lune: #us politics #health insurance #not their preferred medication is one of the worst parts #like let's make you suffer for no goddamm reason before we give you what we know works
from @/theconcealedweapon: even from purely a financial perspective, it's much more efficient to just give them what they need. making them take another medication before they take one that's proven to work is not only cruel, but it's a total fucking waste of time and resources. there are a lot of complaints about how universal healthcare or other socialist policies would be "inefficient." but here we have clear evidence of capitalists intentionally being inefficient.
from @/astralikacastle: ah, but see, from a purely distant and "logical" standpoint, if they pay for the cheaper medicine and it works, then that's saving them money forever! never mind that it has literally never shown to work and that you always save money by listening to doctors and there's never a cost analysis of whether something not working will cause other costs to show up like, say, a kid having another fucking seizure causes them to need more medicine, or emergency treatments, or get a whole new set of problems that cause new forevercosts. because they're not people to UHC. doctors are not in the business of saving you money, and sick people are not meant to be sympathized with. if the cheaper medicine doesn't work that's (italics) their (end italics) problem. it's cheaper, so it'll save us money, so we're doing it that way.
#also while we're here: what's a long run? #here's the sheet with this quarter's profits #maximize that #then you'll maximize the profits on next quarter's sheet /end ID].
i've heard that they delay treatment/aids/whatever for people, especially terminally ill, so these people die, and they don't have to cover it.
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Hello, my name is Jessica. I am a single mother asking for financial help.
Our savings were depleted due to an unexpected auto accident, leaving us struggling to make ends meet. Through no fault of our own the other parties insurance refused to pay for the damage to our only working vehicle. Without reliable transportation I risked losing my job and made the decision to empty my savings to fix the car on my own.
Despite working consistently we are now severely behind on rent and bills, often having to make sacrifices to stay afloat, like paying for groceries over being in good rental standing. Our current apartment has denied us the ability to renew our lease and we desperately need help in catching up on the past due rent and covering the expenses for moving. This situation has been incredibly stressful as a single mother with a very limited support system, so any support big or small would be so very appreciated. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for considering helping in our time of need or even taking the time to view or share our gofundme.
#i’m sorry i have to do this but it’s been like this since may/june and i’m drowning#please reblog and share#i’m sorry i didn’t feel comfortable using a family photo#gofundme#mutual aid
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2 Hot Chocolates & a Fortune Cookie
SUMMARY: “Never forget to tell people how much you love them. They may not know.” is what is written on the little piece of paper in your fortune cookie. But maybe the boy who gave you the cookie feels that these two phases applies to him too.
CHARACTERS: Deuce Spade / Kalim Al-Asim
TAGS: Fluff; GN Reader; Kiss
WARNING: Spoilers from "Sam's New Year Sale"
WORD COUNT: An average of 1.180 words per character.
COMMENTS: I like to write things based on the cards and I wanted to write something with the New Year's cards but I never thought of anything good enough. Until I reread the story looking for an idea and here it is.
I hope you all enjoy 🥠 And Happy New Year! 🎉
About the currency in Twisted Wonderland: From what I understand, on the JP server the Madols would be the equivalent of Japanese Yen while on the ENG server the Thaumarks would be the equivalent of US dollars. Which personally makes it easier for me to tell whether something is expensive or not in this world.
P.S.: In the second Sam's New Year Sale event, Vil is the one who says that the Mystery Bags cost 40 Thaumarks.
CONTEXT: You even thought about buying one of Sam's mystery bags, but when you saw all the commotion that there was every day in that store, plus the fact that the bags cost 40 Thaumarks (and it's not like you could afford to spend that much on a simple bag considering the money Crowley gives you), you ended up giving up on the idea and not even going to Sam's store to say hi to Deuce and Kalim.
It was evening and you were in the lounge of Ramshackle Dorm when you heard someone knocking on the door. You open it and see Deuce still in his New Year's Attire.
“Good evening, (Y/N). Sorry to show up so late, but I wanted to give you one of these.” He hands you one of Sam's mystery bags. “I bought one and saved it for you. You never went to the store, did you? Neither Kalim nor I saw you. I thought maybe you were too busy or couldn't make it because it was always full. But I thought you might like to receive one. ...Hm? Oh, don't worry, you don't have to pay me back. It can be a New Year's gift for you. Open it! I'm curious to see what you got.”
You thank him, take the bag and open it. You take out a large box that says ‘Hot Chocolate Kit’. In the box there is a bag of mini marshmallows, a packet of chocolate powder, a bag of cookies and two edible spoons.
“Did you like it? I'm glad. Since it’s random, people often receive things that have nothing to do with their tastes. But who wouldn't like a hot chocolate in this cold?”
You put that box down on the entrance table and take out a second box which is a set of matching winter themed mugs. You suggest to Deuce to use those new mugs with you and taste that hot chocolate together.
“I would love to!” He accepts with a smile. “I'll help you prepare it. I hope we can make a third mug for Grim too, otherwise he'll be mad at us.”
But you see something else inside the bag, it looks like shiny paper. You put the box with the mugs on the entrance table too, put your hand back inside the bag and take out a golden ticket.
“It can't be!” Deuce is shocked! “It’s an Amazing Ticket! So they really are true!” He is very happy and excited for you. “You don't know what it is? The students were crazy about Sam's mystery bags because of this. From what Jamil-senpai told us these are tickets you can trade for any one thing in the Mystery Shop. And there's no price limit. You can trade it for literally anything in the store! This is the first time I've seen one. You're so lucky! That’s awesome!”
You feel a little guilty because it was Deuce who paid the 40 Thaumarks for that bag. So you try to give him that ticket.
“What? No! The ticket is yours. I gave you the bag as a gift. I made enough money from this gig to buy what I wanted, don't worry. If you were lucky enough to get it, it means you deserve it. Really, keep it and buy whatever you want.” He gives you an encouraging smile. “Oh! One more thing.” He takes a small bag out of his pocket and takes out a fortune cookie and gives it to you. “Don't worry, these were free to any customer in the store.”
You take the cookie, break it in half, take out the paper inside, give one half to Deuce and keep the other for yourself.
“Never forget to tell people how much you love them.” You read the message on the paper. “They may not know.”
Deuce chokes on the cookie but quickly recovers.
“Y-yeah, I'm fine. Sorry.” He chuckles awkwardly.
You jokingly ask if he forgot to tell his mother that and he laughs awkwardly again.
“Ha ha, no, I always end my calls telling her I love her." He gets a little embarrassed by this statement, but he continues. "W-what about you?”
You say making Grim's favorite dishes is an ‘I love you’ enough for him. Deuce laughs with you and suggests that the two of you go make the hot chocolates. Even if you seem as flustered as he is, he's too oblivious to notice these things.
He thinks about that message a lot while he prepares the hot chocolate with you in the kitchen, to the point of getting distracted from time to time. When you're already putting the marshmallows on top of the hot chocolate, you make a heart with them and give the mug to Deuce. He blushes slightly when he sees the marshmallows heart, but maybe it was the incentive he needed.
“Hum... (Y/N)...” Deuce starts saying, a little nervous, but then he takes a quick and deep breath and looks at you with renewed courage. “I was thinking about the phrase in your fortune cookie and...” He looks away to the hot chocolate you gave him. “I know I always call you buddy and stuff like that but...” He starts blushing again. “The truth is... I think... I like you as more than a friend.”
He won't be able to say much more than this, it's all still very new to him. So, you are the one who takes the next step and tells him, just as the cookie advised you, how much you like/love him. He looks back at you, surprised and with a sparkle in his eyes.
Now knowing that you feel the same way about him, he no longer needs to hold back and attacks you with a hug that lifts your feet off the ground while kissing your cheek.
He puts you back on the ground but continues to hug you. He doesn't have the courage to kiss you on the lips even if he wants to. But if you do it, he'll try to reciprocate with the most affectionate kiss he can muster.
After that, you two will go to the lounge with your hot chocolates. Grim will start complaining that you didn't make him one and Deuce will reveal a third mug of hot chocolate for him.
While Grim burns his tongue because he tried to drink the still-scalding chocolate right away, you and Deuce sit on the couch together with one of his arms around you.
“Happy New Year, (Y/N).” He wishes you with one more kiss.
It was evening and you were in the lounge of Ramshackle Dorm when you heard someone knocking on the door. You open it and see Kalim still in his New Year's Attire.
“HI (Y/N)!” Kalim greets you with his huge smile. “Happy New Year!” He reaches out and hands you one of Sam's mystery bags. “I didn't see you at the store, so I thought maybe you didn't want to get in the meddle of all that crowd. These have been some really crazy days. Ah hah. That's why I bought a mystery bag for you. Here! I'm so curious to see what you've got!”
You thank him, take the bag and open it. You take out a large box that says ‘Hot Chocolate Kit’. In the box there is a bag of mini marshmallows, a packet of chocolate powder, a bag of cookies and two edible spoons.
“Wow! So cool! You have everything you need to make hot chocolate. It tastes so good in winter. Did you like it?” You say yes. “That's great! I saw many students who were disappointed with the things they got. It's great to see that it was a nice surprise for you.”
You put that box down on the entryway table and take out a second box which is a set of matching winter themed mugs. You suggest to Kalim to use those new mugs with you and taste that hot chocolate together.
“Really?! I would love-!” His overly enthusiastic smile fades, giving way to a sad one. “I... would love to... but...”
“You cannot eat or drink anything that has not been approved by Jamil first.” You finish his sentence.
He gives you an apologetic smile.
“Yeah... But I can keep you company and help you prepare it if you want. I'm sure it's great.”
However, you have another idea. You pick up your phone and search for something while asking Kalim if Jmail knew he was there. He tells you yes, that he told Jamil that he just wanted to give you a New Year's gift before going to Scarabia. You find Jamil's contact and call him. He answers immediately.
“Did something happen to Kalim?!” It's the first thing you hear Jamil say.
You say no, that everything is okay, and tell him about the mystery bag and the hot chocolate to ask if you prepare it and taste it before Kalim he can drink it with you.
“Hmm... I don't know...” You hear Jamil's uncertain voice say. “It's not that I don't trust you. I know you would never hurt Kalim but...”
“No one needs to know.” You add.
There was silence for quite a while.
“*sigh* Okay. But only because it's you. And if this came in one of Sam's bags it could have gone to any student, which makes it difficult for it to be something directed at Kalim... Still, be careful you hear!”
You thank Jamil and consequently Kalim also shouts a ‘thank you’ to him. Kalim's sunny smile returns and he is now more excited than ever to make this hot chocolate with you.
But you see something else inside the bag, it looks like shiny paper. You put your hand back inside the bag and take out a golden ticket.
“WHAAAT?! IT CAN'T BE!” He sees you looking at him perplexed. “Sorry. But you got an Amazing Ticket! Deuce and I were wondering if they were even real. And now you got one! Hm? You don't know what they are? It seems that it was because of them that so many people were buying Sam's mystery bags. Jamil told us that these are tickets you can trade for any one thing in the Mystery Shop. And there's no price limit. You can trade it for literally anything in the store! Isn't it amazing?! You’re so lucky!”
You would feel guilty for being the one who got that ticket and not the person who paid 40 Thaumarks for the bag. But Kalim was filthy rich, there was no reason for you to feel bad.
“Oh! Speaking of luck, I almost forgot to give you this.” Kalim takes a small bag out of his pocket and takes out a fortune cookie to give to you. “Sam was offering them to all the customers in the store.”
You take the cookie, break it in half, take out the paper inside, give one half to Kalim and keep the other for yourself.
“Never forget to tell people how much you love them.” You read the message on the paper. “They may not know.”
“Aww. That's a really nice message.” Kalim says as he eats his half of the cookie. “I love you, (Y/N)!” He tells you smiling.
“Aw, I love you too, Kalim.” That's what you felt was the best response back.
He said it so naturally that it seemed like something he would say to any friend, like Jamil for example. So you kind of responded the same way, even though you may really meant it.
You and Kalim went to the kitchen to prepare hot chocolates. Kalim looked like a child with a new toy, he was so excited to do something like that with you. He commented that the cookies were cute, the mugs were pretty, asked how to make chocolate with that powder, read the instructions on the back of the box with you, etc.
He was very happy to see the hot chocolate made, and all that was left was to put the mini marshmallows on top. He made a heart with them and gave you the mug with a cute smile. You do the same for him and he is very happy with your gesture, but something seemed to be bothering him a little.
“Hey, (Y/N)... When you said you loved me back, did you mean it? Because I did!” He smiles at you, blushing a little. “You didn't realise that? Why not?”
You explain that since he is always very affectionate with everyone, it is difficult to realize when he is not just being nice or considering the other person just a good friend, or if it’s something more than that.
“Really?! Ow, I’m so sorry. I didn't mean to confuse you. Looks like your fortune cookie was right. Well, I need to fix that now!” He comes closer to you and holds your both hands with his warm ones, looks you in the eyes and smiles affectionately. “You are the best friend I have ever had. Every second with you makes me happier and more loved than I could ever imagine. I wish I could do the same for you, if you'd let me. I love you (Y/N).”
He's not afraid that you'll reject him. Will it hurt him? Sure, but the most important thing is that he was honest with you and you deserve to know that you're loved.
You confess that the feeling is mutual. He is so relieved and extremely happy to the point of hugging you and lifting you off the ground while doing a spin. He gives you all the kisses on the cheek he's ever wanted to give you and can't stop hugging you.
He doesn't want to go too fast so he lets you kiss him on the lips first if you're comfortable with that. And if you do, you will feel all his love and passion for you in response.
After that, you both go to the lounge and sit together on the sofa. Grim appears, attracted by the smell, and starts complaining that you didn't make him a hot chocolate too. Kalim starts to apologize but that's when you reveal a third mug of hot chocolate that Kalim hadn't even realized you had made. Grim thanks you and Kalim praises you.
While Grim burns his tongue because he tried to drink the still-scalding chocolate right away, Kalim puts one of his arms around you and starts imagining and talking about possible dates and that he should give you the best quality hot chocolate in Twisted Wonderland next time.
If you would like to read more from me, you can find it in my pinned post: INDEX
#Twisted Wonderland#twst#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x reader#twst imagines#twst fluff#Twisted Wonderland Fluff#Deuce Spade#Deuce Spade x Reader#Kalim Al-Asim#Kalim Al-Asim x Reader
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It’s been on my mind a lot lately, and generally I’m a pretty strong Rhysand hater without apologies, but I think I’m earnestly curious.
At the conclusion of ACOSF/HOFAS, how is Rhysand that different from Tamlin? How if Feyre the thing she was so against becoming?
Rhysand keeps her in a bubble so no one can touch her through her entire pregnancy. He lies to her about her own LIFE, subtly saying he’d rather Feyre die than lose the pregnancy and try again with Feyre ALIVE. He’s endlessly possessive throughout all of ACOSF. He rages at Nesta for daring to help save an entire race of people, threatening her with death AGAIN. He seeks to keep all of the Dread Trove items in the night court. He parades Feyre about the Hewn City to show off he did breed her, keeping up with his weird ‘mask’. He loses control of his magic when enraged.
Feyre spends her time doing what is the equivalent of “First Lady” things. Things she would have done in Spring. She helps the poor, hands out supplies, vaguely worried about funds though they’re so filthy rich (from a mystery fund! Don’t worry, Rhysand got all this money from completely good ways) that she doesn’t need to ever worry about spending too much or building too many houses. Yet, she’s not involved in real politics, trusting Rhysand to just tell her what happens. She only gets brought in for a vote for her OWN SISTER when a tie needs to be broken. When she tells Rhysand to stop berating Nesta, he just takes Nesta to a new house to berate her where Feyre can’t see or hear.
Tamlin loses control of his magic when he too is enraged. He sought to keep Feyre safe from people who wanted to kill her by keeping her with a guard. When she refused to listen, he trapped her in a house where no one could touch or get to her. He expected her to eventually take on the role of helping common people, expected that he would handle the politic end of being a High Lord. Expected to use tithe to pay for their ONE house. Expected eventually she would become pregnant with their children if they were lucky.
These are all facts. They’re all got some emotional attachment within the text, but these are the facts.
What is the difference between Tamlin and Rhysand that makes Tamlin abusive but Rhysand understandable? It’s not that Tamlin didn’t love Feyre, he absolutely did. He loved her so much he had constant nightmares of seeing her die. He loved her so much he wanted to protect her from EVERYTHING no matter the price. I just cannot seem to understand.
What is the difference between what Feyre was scared to become with Tamlin and what she is with Rhysand? What is the purpose of a High Lady versus a “Lady” of the court when she’s not involved in politics, and the things she is involved in, her entire court is content to lie to her about or ignore what she says?
These are the things I want to see discussed without the extreme emotional connection. These are the things within the narrative that drive me insane.
#acotar critical#acotar#acosf#acotar conversation#rhysand#critical conversation#tamlin#feyre archeron#no hate please#legit just conversation not rage bait
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Other than it being used as a piece for Bakugo’s redemption, what do you think of Midoriya becoming a teacher?
On paper it fits the theme of everyone can become a hero, but the execution was extremely poor.
First, there is no build-up of Izuku wanting to be a teacher or having a special talent for it (e.g. Momo and Bakugou got scenes of tutoring their classmates and being good at it or TDBK had the babysitter stint). It should have been an emotional moment of Izuku losing the last embers, being sad about it, searching for new meaning and then having a moment of realization that he can make a difference in other careers, like All Might suggested to him during their first encounter. Of being inspired by All Might, Aizawa, or other teachers at UA. But there is nothing.
Second, there is no connection between being a teacher and saving Tenko. Ochako's quirk counselling at least links back to Toga on paper and Shouto's interest in food / handmade dishes also ties in with his common interest with Touya that was the oay-off for their conflict. But Tenko who never went to school in the first place could not be saved by a hero school teacher. Or I guess you could make some kind of argument for indirect saving, because of Tenko's anger about "no hero came" and "he's smiling like there is noone he couldn't save", but then we should have seen Deku teaching lessons specific to Tomura's needs. But we don't see him teach at all.
Third, teaching in an elite hero school where the kids with the best quirks go feels like a privileged job he got thanks to his past deeds / connections, and less like saving the world. Not to mention the plothole of saying that heroes are becoming obsolete - but then how is Izuku going to make a difference teaching heroes who will be jobless in the future? It really falls apart once you look more deeply into it.
It's absurd that a small side-character like Fuyumi has more background to why she is a teacher than Deku. Not to mention Aizawa, who gets an entire arc in the Vigilante spin-off to explain how and why he chooses to be a teacher and it's a really well thought-out story.
So it's kind of weird that for Izuku after 400+ chapters and 6000+ panel time we get such a sloppy, haphazard career change where the "even if I had OFA, I'd still want to be a teacher" is a completely unearned line that has the audience rolling their eyes. (Maybe if Hori didn't waste 2 chapters on Ochako crying and 22 pages of the new chapter highlighting her butt, he would have had the time to pay attention to Deku's motivation and draw his ending more carefully).
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(vent in the tags) me thinking i've finally escaped financial problems: :DDDDD
life:
#idk why the image pasted like that but anyways haha im once again in a fucking pit#last month i was able to accumulate enough savings from collectively work and also other stuff#so i have a bit of extra in case of emergencies and additional expenses like taxes and stuff#but then guess who decided to not tell me he can't send me money by the end of the month - the time when i have to pay rent?#:DDD my beloved father#so i end up using the savings to pay for it#and i dont blame him or im not mad at him at all#especially because sending me money is already enough of a privilege that not a lot of people have#but at the very least if you don't think you can send me money can't you just tell me?#that way i can work for it???#because now im literally sitting with no money with food running out quickly in the fridge#i can't pick up a shift because whether its out of town or in my city it doesn't matter#i have no way to transport myself there other than on foot or on my bike#and i cant even cycle there without eating otherwise i'd basically sentence myself to death#so im trying to get by without eating for a couple of days right now but its just#sigh#i keep telling my father that i don't blame him and im not mad at him if he can't send me money when i need him to#but please tell me because i literally cannot take a shift this month because i need to study for the exams#and if i fail these exams i literally have one more chance to do them or else i have to repeat a year#which is going to cost us more in the long run#and just#yeah#maybe the hunger is getting to my head#im not going to open emergency comms this time because technically speaking i do have a job i can do#its just i need to just wait for the money that was supposed to be in my bank account to be sent#so i can eat and also i can have money for transportation#haku vents#venting#yeah no im just not in a good spot right now#apologies to mutuals and friends if i can't be on often
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i feel like im not making any sense but does anyone else feel like there are stories that let u run with them and ones that spell everything out for you
#im reading that post that says artists are directors of audience reaction and not its dictator:#'you cannot guarantee that everyone viewing your work will react as you are trying t make them react. a good artist knows that this is what#allows work to breath. by definition you cannot have art where the viewer brings nothing to the table ... this is why you have to let go of#the urge to plainly state in text exactly how you think the work should be interpreted ... its better to be misinterpreted sometimes than#to talk down to your audience. you wont even gain any control that way; people will still develop their opinions no matter what you do#im thinking abt this again cuz i was thinking maybe the thing that lets adventure time work so well the way it does is cuz it doesnt#take itself too seriously that it gives the audience enough room to fuck with subtext and then fuck with them back yknow. i think it was#mentioned somewhere that they werent even planning to run with the postapocalyptic elements that are hinted in the show but changed their#mind after the one off with the frozen businessmen and dominoed into marcy and simons backstory. on the other side there are stories that#explain too much to let the story speak for itself and i think it ends up having to do more with the crew trying to lead ppl in a certain#direction than expand on what they have and i see a lot of this with miraculous. like when interviews and tweets are used as word of god in#arguments and it becomes a little stifling to play around with it knowing the creator can just interject. u can say its the crews effort to#engage with its audience but it feels more like micromanaging. and none of this is to say there ISNT room for stories that spell things out#theyre just suited for different things. if sesame street tried abstract approaches to themes and nuance itd be counterproductive#a lot of things fly over my head so i need help picking things apart to get it- but it doesnt have to be from the story itself. ive picked#picked up or built on my own interpretations listening to other ppl share their thoughts which creates conversation around the same thing#sometimes stories will spell things out for you without being so obvious abt it that it feels like its woven into the text. my fav example#for this might be ATLA using younger characters as its main cast but instead of feeling like its dumbed down for kids to understand why war#is bad its framed from a childs point of view so younger audiences can pick up on it by relating to the characters. maybe an 8 year old#wont get how geopolitics works but at least they get 'hey the world is a little more complicated than everyone vs. fire nation'. same for#steven universe bc its like theyre trying to describe and put feelings into words that kids might not have so they have smth to start with#especially with the metaphors around relationships bc even if it looks unfamiliar as a kid now maybe the hope is for it to be smth you can#look back to. thats why it feels like these shows grew up with me.. instead of saving difficult topics for 'when im ready for it'#as if its preparing me for high school it gave me smth to turn in my hands and revisit again and again as i grow. stories that never#treated u as dumb all along. just someone who could learn and come back to it as many times as u need to. i loved SU for the longest time#but i felt guilty for enjoying it hearing the way ppl bash it. bc i was a kid and thought other ppl understood it better than me and made#feel bad for leaning into the message of paying forward kindness and not questioning why steven didnt punish the diamonds or hold them#accountable. but im rewatching it now and going oh. i still love this show and what it was trying to teach me#yapping#diary
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“We need more morally gray characters” you guys can barely handle topaz and jade.
#yeah I said it#hsr#Honkai star rail#topaz hsr#topaz and numby#jade#jade hsr#hsr Jade#hsr topaz#like they’re not good but their not mustache twirling villains y’all#yes topaz did mess up by not telling bronya the actual success rate if she accepted the deal#but you have to remember she was indoctrinated since she was a kid that the ipc was good and that those who surrendered to its power will#succeed and thrive#hell they may have used examples like boothills home planet as warnings#of course she would think the ipc is good and will#help jarillo#her home planet was on the brink of collapse when the ipc came and it was quite literally life saving#even though it did mean robbing the future of a population to work for them topaz so grateful for the ipc and sees it as a way to pay back#you guys are forgetting that she was willing to sacrifice her position and that she was happy the planet could be independent#now we don’t know much about jade but she doesn’t go seeking out desperate people#those people come to her and accept those deals knowing full well every detail and it’s cost#she may get some pleasure from it sure but she’s just doing business with people#and yet I see people view them as villains and yet not call out aventurine with helping the ipc take control of penacony#he’s a victim yes but so is topaz when it comes to the ipc manipulating them#topaz has good Intentions and is just following what she has been taught since childhood#look I love aventurine I really do but he’s not pure and at the end of the day both him and topaz are people they are flawed#they’re not completely bad or good#sorry it was mainly about topaz we don’t know much about jade and I might change my mind on her when we do
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The fandom when Anya is nice to jimmy and compliments/butters him up after the crash: obviously this is a fawn response. She doesn’t actually think these things about jimmy, she is simply trying to protect herself against a volatile, unstable person by placating him
The fandom when curly tries to placate jimmy by telling Jimmy he’d fix things, after being very nervous about jimmy’s anger and reaction when talking to Anya right beforehand and his heart racing so hard on the way to confront jimmy that he’s likely on the verge of a panic or anxiety attack: hmm. Obviously everything curly is saying to jimmy here is completely genuine and not motivated by anything. He obviously doesn’t care about the fact jimmy raped Anya and only cares about helping jimmy at the detriment to Anya. He’s a rape apologist. There could literally be no other potential explanation for why curly is saying the things he is saying right now. Let’s take everything curly is saying here completely at face value and not analyze anything else about Curly’s behavior or the rest of the scene.
[seriously why are people only capable of recognizing the fawn response in Anya and not Curly]
#to be clear the people who say Anya had a fawn response are RIGHT!#but since curly is a man clearly there’s no way he could be afraid of jimmy#listen. I’m not trying to say curly is completely flawless#and I get why people get mad at curly for what he said to Jimmy there after finding out what jimmy did#because yeah out of context someone telling a rapist stuff like “I’ll fix things” “we’ll get through this together” “you’ve gotten through#difficult times before” in response to said rapist fearing his life will be ruined after his actions are exposed#is deplorable#but you can’t just put things in a vacuum#it was a very difficult situation curly was in. regarding of how he confronts jimmy he’s going to be stuck on a ship with him for 8 months#and before u say “he should’ve just killed Jimmy!” think for a moment.#permanently ending someone’s life is traumatic for the vast majority of people#and this is someone he’s known for years and years so it would be extra difficult#also like. would Anya even want jimmy to be murdered? sure she’d feel safer but I feel like she’d have complicated feelings about it#idk like. it’s a very tricky situation#can’t even report Jimmy to HR because that would result in everyone’s pay getting docked.#which would just hurt Anya since she has no savings#curly mouthwashing#fandom critical#would it felt been more therapeutic for fans if curly instead violently confronted jimmy and beat him up for what he did to Anya? yes#but would that have actually helped Anya? no#if anything it would’ve likely made things worse because Jimmy could’ve just taken his anger out on her afterwards#because they’re on a tiny ship together. only way they could have eliminated the threat to her would be like. tying jimmy up for months#or shoving him in a cryptopod. but knowing pony express I bet improper use of cryptopods would result in docking everyone’s pay#and it would’ve been serviously hard to keep jimmy tied up for months. it’s not like there’s a prison cell on the ship#the crew is already stretched thin do u think they could have someone constantly watch him for 8 months??#because that’s likely what would need to happen if they just kept him tied up#there aren’t any good rooms to lock him in#yes it would’ve been better for everyone in the end if Jimmy was tied up or shoved in a cryptopod or killed#but how was curly supposed to know that. hindsight is 20/20#yes curly should’ve taken the threat jimmy posed more seriously. and handled the situation better. but there were no easy solutions and—
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There are two wolves inside me. One wants to embrace a new hobby in dance so I can be active and feel elegant and graceful and strong. This wolf wants to try something new and exciting, finally indulging in something I've always had an interest in.
The other experiences such frustrating emotions on a near daily basis that I want to go back to boxing, which is arguably easier to break into since I've already done it before. This wolf doesn't think of elegance, she just wants to fuck shit up until her body's so overworked and warm it fogs up car windows without having to do anything but sit inside.
Which one do I fucking feed??
#t. lee woes#like. do you know how hard it is trying to start something new that you've never done at all ever before??#and you've got no mode of transport until december - and ONLY if things go well#and now you're contemplating ways to mkre regularly earn a bit of money to afford the classes since paying weekly means my income#would wind up like $9 a fortnight since $40 would be spent by the end of each fortnight#it wouldn't necessarily be stagnant but it's not a desirable position to be in#I still have stuff saved up in a jar but I'm always hesitant to dip into that stuff#originally it was going toward a violin and lessons for that but I'm putting it off in favour of something a bit easier to dedicate time to#boxing is easy. in fact I could get support from my fam for that cause they like it#they don't see the point in dancing but I really want to at least try it and I'm worried about affording each term if I do end up liking it#also I already have boxing gear from before#but I'm hesitant about boxing at the moment for a lot of reasons I can't quite articulate but weirdly might have something to do with#internalised misogyny and biases... which is WILD cause my dad supports women learning martial arts#I can't do karate though I tried that and the class drove me a little insane#and it doesn't push you the same way boxing does and I really like to be pushed#if I don't leave sweating and hot and lungs and muscles aching then what's the point?? I can do mediocre exercise at home#and find more intense martial arts classes that also teach other kinds of self-defense#it's like... ehhhh#anyway but also I want to do something that's for fun that isn't so Serious Fight Mode#hence dancing#but I can only afford one not both and basically I'm grumpy today cause I was gonna trial a dance class - got ready and everything - but#my ride was suddenly unavailable. and I still can't stomach public transport. nor am I good at navigating it#it feels so different here compared to where I used to live - and I knew trains better not buses
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i'm a very don't tolerate bullshit kind of person and I respect and expect it so much when other people are real and straight up with me anyways whatever I say stems from my own thoughts and I cannot lie to you and tell you to do something I think is stupid if you ask for advice. anyways an acquaintance of mine who majored in English unless you want to work in primary school for a pay of barely 700 dollars complained how her parents want her to get a masters degree and she's thinking about getting one in marketing or something similar and then later on spreading into tech saying how she can work as a data analyst and I literally almost laughed out loud like it's absolutely insane how little university life prepares us for the future and how absolutely useless it is that you have university graduates here thinking they can work a job that requires a degree in either IT or economy as someone who read and talked about books for grades like please be so serious right now. I'm not upset with her for thinking this is possible just the general society for letting these young people down by telling them every career option is valid and it doesn't really matter what you study in university because it does
#in a general scheme of things it doesn't matter what you study in university when u study useless shit and never get a chance to work#a job related to that#but people who majored in medicine#mathematics engineering biology physics etc like you dont hear them talk about how studies don't actually matter bc they're working jobs#they studied for#adding law onto it as well#like we really need less people in humanities I'm not saying we need no people in humanities#humanities are really important but we need LESS people in them#and we also need less people in universities in general#go learn a skill you can actually use to make money off of in the real word we need electricians and people fixing shit around the house#we need people making ceramic or wooden floors we need carpenters#we dont need more people majoring in English abeg#the society and the school system is failing the younger generations so much by affirming their ideas of what the world looks like#because a highschooler cannot know whats best for them in the long run and we need to aid them#and i wish someone told me this before I went to university I would've saved myself so much trouble and time#and im not complaining bc i genuinely have it so much better than at least like 50% of my ex classmates#i have an appartment#a job that pays me okay#a side hustle#a car even though its old#savings#a future plan#idea of what im going to do and where I'm going to end up#but if i had someone advise me from the beginning I would've saved so much time and effort
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breakups are so fucking weird. three years and just like that it's gone. huh
#helix.txt#gross i ended up spilling my guts in tags. look at them fucking writhing on the floor all bloody#dont rb please#vent#to quote fall out boy i knew it was over i just didn't know the date#yeah that's it. fall out boy can fix this.#i will feel better if i go listen to bang the doldrums#and infinity on high in general#and folie a deux. folie a fucking deux how i love that album#my chem will make me better. gerard way save me#god what a weird feeling. you used to know me better than any other person but then you moved hundreds of miles away and it worked#for a while. then two years later you said it wasnt working and that this was best for both of us. guess i never got the memo for that one#hope we treat other people better because i wasn't as kind as i should have been towards the end and you were never as thoughtful or con-#-siderate as i needed towards the end. we grew apart because you're bad at keeping contact over messaging#and in some ways the cracks in the foundation that grew from that were my fault too i guess. our conversations always felt one sided#maybe i was smothering you#you could never seem to keep more than a passing recollection of the things i liked or even pay much attention to them#but i wasn't great about that either#we just became different people. you weren't what i wanted or needed and you couldn't do long distance. whatever#i know it was the right thing i just wish it hadn't made me feel so damn awful#will we still talk after this? who knows. we didn't end on bad terms but things are definitely weird#and considering your track record with people you can only talk to online i'm not optimistic#you tried to break things off initially by saying you'd said you would improve in the past with nothing to show for it#something i didn't disagree with but i said it didn't bother me much. and it didn't#but it's complicated now. i did deserve better. but you made it clear i'm not getting it from you#you weren't as present or thoughtful as i needed#i wasn't there in person the way you needed and certainly not as considerate as i should have been. and for that second part i'm truly sorr#anyways. sorry. i'd been thinking about it for a long time anyway. i didn't want to admit it because i didn't like to think#about what it might bring. maybe i should have been braver#right. that's enough
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AaHHHHGHHH got some mail today that i forgot i was waiting on from the local health sugar to help me with my blood sugar stuff
And they fucking just.. assigned me an appointment date with no input from me so of course it's in the middle of a fucking work day and i have no time off left to spend on yaking the day off, and it's late enough in the morning that i can't reaaaally scootch my schedule down..
And like maybe i could find a way to finagle a sick day in there but Apparently
I need Literally All Of Those those to cover my first week off after surgery
Because insurance through work comes in a week After you start your leave, because that's when they approve it (this whole coverage thing is making me so steaming boiling mad regardless, this is just shiny deep red cherry on top of the fucking cake i sweaR TO G O D)
So I don't really want to Do that and loose more pay somewhere else
So now I don't know what to fucking do because i Work when the Doctors Offices are Open (just like.. all of them. In general.) so i can't really reschedule, but cancelling may be a bad idea because i probably won't get to go back until after surgery, if i don't have to go back through the application process to see this doctor anyway.
I'm going to start throwing things and having a breakdown I try to actually start looking after my health and I end up in this situation it's disgusting i'm so pissed off.
#monster noises#it's unconscionable to me that i have to use my Vacation Hours.#my hours for VACATION#to attend doctors appoints without loosing pay.#that is cruel and unfair.#it is Also cruel and unfair that my health coverage won't kick in until the first week after my surgery.#and that it will only cover Half of my regualr pay.#as if the mere act of needing recovery time makes everything Magical Cost Less#so if you see me really start promoting my kofi soon you'll know why#2024 fucked me Up Financially.#i had a big loss early in the year when i had to grocery shop twice on the same paycheck#because of the pre-diabetes business#and with the government stealing my taxes for the past two years because they made a fucking mistake i had no extra little boosts#helping me keep up my buffer#so it's just gotten worse and worse and i've had to dip into my saving buffer i think every month since september#to get through the end of the month#which is just the Best position to be in to go off work for six weeks#but i'm Not postponing surgery#i'll just have to grit my teeth and muddle through#still No clue what to do about this appointment though like Fuck
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its so embarassing likee. going to talk abt a feeling you have but you already know ppl will be like Oh that sounds like depression lol and its like. well yes . i know . trust me i am so aware i am depressed . but its still like a thing ive been thinking abt and wanting to talk abt but ik itll just be like Ok hun 👍. idk idk what response i would want tho ig FNFNFNF
#not anything serious i was just thinking how like. idk. this is gonna sound rly stupid#but for me personally like. sometimes. How do i phrase this without sounding rly evil#i think obv ppl can spend their money however they want but like. its kind of hard 4 me to grasp sometimes like. there r things that ppl#spend a lot of money on bc it makes them happy like umm. vacations or pets or hobbies or whathaveyou. and obviously thats fine but#i iust feel like its all so. temporary and like. idk. idt im ohrasing this right at all i just likee. the thought of working all year to#afford to take a vacation and then working again to afford another vacation just makes me feel like i want to die. like. idk... i like#vacations we dont need to go on them a lot but ig its just like. everything we do just feels like a waste of time. not in like a Ohh you#should be doing more work Obviously its just like. idk. maybe it is just me. but i feel like im just waiting until i die and can be done#with it i guess. and everything i do is just to fill time until that happens. yk ? which is silly bc of my whole. Thing i cant talk abt#but ppl talk abt like. going out and partying or going on vacation or whatever and i like. I like those things its nice when they happen#but they dont rly make me longterm any happier i guess. everything just feels like another thing im doing. idk. this rly isnt coming out the#way it is in my head. and Again i know this is just depression shit or whatever im just like. its all exhausting. it just makes me feel so#tired. to think abt working and working and working so i can pay to be alive and i can save to do one fun thing every so often to keep me#sane enough to keep working and working and working and i probably wont ever be able to retire itll just be. work. and then ill die. yk.#but i feel like the vacations and stuff dont like. refresh me very much. maybe its just bc ive only been on one 'vacation' as an adult and#it was just like. coming home to see my family. and realizing id have to move back home yk..#+ like. my mom nd my gran taking me out for a weekend when i lived up there#nd those things were nice and all but once its over its like. it doesnt fuel me to keep going it doesnt make me feel any better abt having#to work for the rest of my life#ik im being ridiculous bc im literally unemployed and i cant even get up off my ass to get my stupid fucking ged so i can get a job and be#Useful to my family its just like. idk.... i try so hard to be like Oh nothing mayters and thats why everything matters type thing like. Yes#all things end and the point is to just try to be happy until it does#but i feel like it just doesnt happen for me. i feel like any happiness i feel is so insanely like. it happens and then its gone. and its#back to just. the knowledge that im still fucking stuck here. and i will be until it happens. yk. i play video games tomoass the time until#i go back to sleep then i wake up and i make a spreadsheet to pass the time until i go back to sleep#and everyday just feels like passing the time until i go back to sleep and itll just keep going until it happens. and its nice to have nice#days but whats like. the point. yk. everything just ends#IDK. this is all very whiny im sry. ive just been feeling it a lot lately . i hope this doesnt feel like me being like Ohhh you ppl r so#dumb participating in hobbies and going out and having fun dont you know yr gonna DIE? thats not what im trying to be like#its just like. i feel like it doesnt make me as happy as it does other ppl like. none of it refreshes me or makes me want to keep going
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I am so glad emergency vets are a thing
#tw for dog injury and mention of blood#Obi my dad's cattle dog cut himself super bad on some scrap metal in the neighbor's yard#Obi just barreled through it without any hesitation#i think my dad is going to ask the neighbor to clean it up bc it's right next to our yard#but anyway Obi was in bad shape#he was bleeding more than ive ever seen anyone bleed#he hit a vain in his back leg and i had to hold pressure the whole way to the vet#which was about a half hour (which was the closest one)#Obi is okay now#he's still at the Vet under observation#they had to sedate him so they could sew him up but I'm pretty sure he's going to be fine#he'll just have to take it super easy for the next few weeks :(#but god there was so much blood guys#i was covered in it by the time we got to the vet#i had my hand wrapped around his leg pinching the artery as tight as i could#which poor Obi did not enjoy#mind u i used to rick climb so my grip strength is above average#he also had a bad cut on his front leg and my mom was holding that#i didnt even have shoes on we rushed out the door so quickly#at the vet i left a bigger blood trail than obi did bc it was on my socks and clothes#my hands were coated in blood too :(#we grabbed a towel but i wasn't able to get it on the wound bc i was basically using my hands as a shitty tourniquet#my husband got left at home and he ended up cleaning all of the blood off the floor and he's surprised he was able to without feeling faint#my youngest brother was with him and he did almost pass out#my dad is in rough shape he just wants Obi to be okay#my dad said “i dont care how much it costs please save my dog”#which like same but also we're not exactly well off x_x or even okay financially#so it's gonna be a hard few months as we work to pay it off#so anyway how was ur Saturday night? x_x
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Just gotta keep reminding myself that I just have a month until I move out of this apartment and move in with fellow adults who can actually clean up after themselves
#the guy who leasing the house out to us said he does a full clean once a week and i heaved a sigh of relief#(I'm exaggerating but only slightly)#also won't have neighbors stomping around and playing loud music seemingly every evening/night?#and I'll be paying less rent at the new place so hopefully i can start funneling more into savings again#i am not in a place to be able to leave this state yet for various reasons#but I'd like to be able to eventually#would love to be able to buy like. a townhouse. a condo. a small house maybe#either here or wherever i end up
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