#the thing about it too is i have like dark eyes and idk if ive ever seen like a dark brown nail polish. beads or thread yeah but ya

[boredclarinet]

WILL WOOD TIME BITCHESSS

IM ONLY DOING WWATT AND WILL WOOD. SORRY

SPOILERS FOR THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES

Everything is a Lot

Front Street - Hilltop road. like, so much shit happened at that one house. holy.

¡Aikido! (Neurotic/Erotic) - DOORKEAYS. come on come on its doorkeays. im right. fuck you

Cover This Song (A Little Bit Mine) - Depends. Are you sad? Then Jmart to make you stay sad, but maybe improve the mood a bit. Are you happy? fuck you. Timsasha because all of you should suffer with me.

Thermodynamic Lawyer Esq, G.F.D. - i mean, theres tma vibes. i just cant explain them. so i wont. i tried once and look at where i am.

Red Moon - honorable mention cause i wrote a hunt statement based off of it. or was it slaughter? idk it was in october

Lysergide Daydream - i need you to turn this song on. right now. okay. now, imagine everyone who died/suffered. happy. haha. fuck you.

First Step - S4 jon dealing with an INTENSE statement addiction. Statement half spooky but id probably just take that too.

Jimmy Mushrooms' Last Drink: Bedtime in Wayne, NJ - peter lukas loves this song. thats it.

Everything is a Lot - you ever see those animatics or fanarts of jon inbetween s4 and s5 just staring at the eyes in the sky and being self pitying? yeah that.

Destroy to Enjoy - desolation loves this shit. this is that fucking cults theme song.

SELF-iSH

this album is like, so fucking much for me. so theres not many because i just. its a great album but so hard to pinpoint. so. yeah.

The Song with Five Names, a​.​k​.​a. Soapbox Tao, a​.​k​.​a. Checkmate Atheists! a​.​k​.​a. Neospace Government, a​.​k​.​a. You Can Never Know - MANUELA DOMINGUEZ!!! ASTRONAUT LADY! DARK! SUN! WOOOO

Hand Me My Shovel, I'm Going In! - literally just jon digging into EVERYTHING HE SHOULD DIG INTO.

Dr. Sunshine is Dead - Callum Brody lol. the stupid child.

The Normal Album

Suburbia Overture (im splitting this shit)

- "Greetings from Mary Bell Township!" - that dude who got trapped in an infinite suburban sprawl lol. idk why. but that sounds like a personal nightmare

- "(Vampire) Culture" - slaughter. just slaughter.

- "Love Me, Normally" - similar to everything is a lot, jon self pitying.

2econd 2ight 2eer (That Was Fun, Goodbye.) - this is the spirals theme song. micheal and helen. and my boy dr david.

Laplace's Angel (Hurt People? Hurt People!) - avatar theme song, but elias especially.

Outliars and Hyppocrates: A Fun Fact About Apples - opening is so jane prentiss. “youll thank me later” is elias killing jurgen. “and you were there” is jon waking from coma. whod wanna be human anyways?

Love, Me Normally - doorkeay ☺️

Memento Mori: The Most Important Thing in the World - oliver banks.

Camp Here & There

literally this is here just for When Somebody Needs You - jmart.

“In case I make it,”

Cicada Days - S4/5. Jmart AND WTGirlfriends. Especia what the girlfriends we havent had enough wtgirlfriends because their too happy and im incapable of being happy. probavly from melanies pov tho cause ya know. red flags.

Falling Up - can i say mike crew?

Um, It’s Kind of a Lot - OH SO JON. JON. yup. jon.

Half-Decade Hangover - jon. erm. yeah theres a lot of jon but at least ive escaped tim and sasha.

Against the Kitchen Floor - jon.

IN CASE I DIE:

Misanthrapologist - Jonelias lol

OTHER:

Ferryman - end.

ok what have we learned? will woods a spiral avatar. icimi is jmart coded. i didnt delete this finally. slay.

[em-b-sides]

I think about that tiktok trend where you like paint your partners eye color on your nails or make a bracelet or something with the color a lot actually

[fiendishartist2]

guys what if i want to make my own apollo justice game.

[healmyhrt]

could you do Matt x reader smut where reader wears something showy to her friends birthday party and Matt gets like turned on and you can take over the rest!

⌗ crush, m. sturniolo

matt x fem!reader

summary: matt has had a crush on you for the longest, and you’ve had strong feelings toward him too. after a summer fling with him, things turn awkward, and you both have a feeling of relief thinking that you’ll never see each other again… until your best friends birthday party.

disclaimers!: flirting, heavy making out, thigh riding, alcohol consumption, cursing, and use of y/n

a/n: guys question, is it technically “aftercare” if u don’t fuck??? like if you just js did oral shi or something idk 😣 anywho enjoy babes

i slowly creep into the dark entry way, removing my jacket as quietly as possible. i feel a hand tap my shoulder and i grip the fingers, trying to recognize who it could be.

“y/n?” a voice whispers. it was nick.

i reach in and hug him, squeezing tightly. i can feel him smiling against me. “hey, how are you?” i whisper back.

“good, you?” he replies, holding my hand and leading me through the dark hallway. “eh, so-so. is she here yet?”

a few friends and i were throwing a surprise party for my best friend, mia, she’s turning 21.

“she’ll be here in a few, but come on, everyone’s in here.”

i enter the dining room, seeing a crowd of some familiar and unfamiliar faces, candles lit in front of them.

i scan the group, looking at everyone, when my eyes come to an abrupt stop. there he was, matthew.

his blue eyes glistened behind the candlelight, and he stared right through it, straight at me. fuck.

i tap nick as he swivels around, handing me a candle.

“what the hell is he doing here?” i question. nick looks over at matt, then back at me. “um, he knows mia?”

i roll my eyes. nicks face changes and he raises an eyebrow. “have you two still not talked since the summertime?” i shuffle in place, looking at the floor.

“no…”

nick groans. “jesus. just—sort things out tonight, okay? you two can not ruin this night for mia. got it?” he says.

i nod, and glance over at matt, who was still staring.

chris sprints into the dining room, and catching his breath before speaking. “guys, they’re here!”

we all become quiet as the front door creaks open. i look up at nick who’s looking at me, trying not to smile.

mia slowly enters the dining room, a white blindfold tied gently over her freshly curled hair. she begins to untie it, and nick looks at everyone, holding up three fingers.

“3…”

“2…”

“1…”

“SURPRISE!” we all shout, seeing mia’s face. she immediately smiles, and holds her hands to her face.

“you guys!” she beams.

everyone rushes over, hugging her uncontrollably. i step back into the hallway, freeing myself from the crowd.

i sigh, looking over and seeing matt. he gives me a small smile, and i look the other way, turning toward the stairs.

it had been about 2 hours since we surprised mia, and now the entire house was packed. the small gathering had turned into a big party.

i had stayed holed up in mia’s room, drinking, as friends came and went, bringing me more and more.

now, i wasn’t drunk. they only brought me cans of sprite with a little bit of vodka in it. thats it.

and ive only had like 3 or 4 of them.

but i knew after a while id have to pee, and eventually leave mia’s room, placing myself back into the craziness that was downstairs.

i patt my hands dry on my favorite cardigan, shutting the bathroom door behind me. stepping down the steps into the chaos, i pass by multiple people making out on the steps.

i see mia at the bottom of the steps, and it gives me a sense of direction. she sees me and smiles immediately, running into my arms. “y/n!” she beams. i grin back.

“god, i feel like i haven’t seen you all night!” she grabs my forearm, dragging me into the living room. we stumble across a couple making out on the couch.

“can we sit here?” mia questions, with a smile.

they move over, and continue. “mia, im not sitting next to a horny ass couple.” i groan. she pulls me down next to her, and displays her legs across mine. “sooooo…”

i raise an eyebrow. “so, what?” she giggles, biting her bottom lip. “did you see him?” i cross my arms.

“you invited him? god—mia!” i scoff.

she laughs. “y/n, you two need to sort things out. tonight. okay? i can’t have two of my closest friends not being able to stay in the same room as one another.”

“you sound like nick.” i reply. she smirks. “well, yeah. it was our plan all along.” i playfully push her away with a little smile.

“look, please just talk to him.” she says, giving me a look.

i sit in silence fidgeting with my fingers. she places a hand on my fingers, and i look up at her. “okay.”

she claps enthusiastically, standing. “yay, y/n!”

i laugh. “im gonna go find myself another drink. want anything?” i shake my head. she blows me a kiss, and walks off, her dress swaying gracefully with each step.

i sigh, standing up. i look over at the couple next to me.

“you guys can—y’know—do your thing.” i gesture to the sofa. they give me a thumbs up, and immediately lay down, continuing. gross.

i make my way outside, onto the front porch.

i sit, flinching at the cold pavement against the back of my thighs. my skirt was very short, and i didn’t have any tights.

the door opens and shuts behind me, and i turn around to meet a very familiar face. “matthew.” i say. “y/n.”

he walks past me, and unlocks his car. i watch him stop, and turn around. “wanna—come with?” i give him a confused expression.

“we need more ice. im just gonna run to a gas station.”

i shrug, and stand, walking over to his car. matt opens the door for me, and i give him a small smile, stepping in.

after waiting in the car for a while, matt finally exits the gas station, carrying the last bag of ice. about time.

he gets in the car, wiping his now wet hands against his jeans. “took you long enough.” i tease. matt chuckles.

“i know, usually doesn’t take me that long to get my hands this wet.” he smirks. i shake my head, looking out the window, attempting to hold my laugh in.

“let’s just go.”

the drive back was silent. (minus the ice tumbling around in the backseat.) we caught almost every red light, and matt and i would just shift in our seats, trying not to make eye contact with one another.

as we pull in the driveway. i unbuckle my seatbelt, trying to get out of this situation as quickly as possible.

“so, we aren’t gonna talk about it? at all?”

i knew it.

i turn around, and sigh. “fine. let’s talk, matt.” i say with a long stare. he clenches his jaw, and rests his hands on the steering wheel.

“we had sex. big deal.” i throw my hands up in the air dramatically. matt scoffs and looks at me, almost as if he was about to cry. “it was a big deal to me.” he stares.

i purse my lips together. “well, it doesn’t seem like it, seeing as you lack common communication skills.”

“i wanted to text you, or call you—just hear your voice at all after that night, but i was too afraid.” matt looks out the window beside him, and gently taps the steering wheel with his fingertips.

my face softens, and i slowly reach out to the place a hand on his. but before i even reach him, i pull away.

“why were you afraid, matt?” i question. i was genuinely curious to hear his answer, too. matt had gone full no contact with me after that night, all because he was afraid? it just didn’t make sense.

“because i like you.”

my eyes widened as the words left his mouth. i didn’t know what to say—how to even respond. it was insanity.

did i like matt? i mean, i guess.

no—sure—yes.

yes, i do like matt. i just get my feelings mixed up and lost in my mind. i mean, could we really work?

“y-you do?” i stutter out. matt turns around, and im left to drown in his eyes. he softly nods, and i form a smile.

i look down at my hands and begin to fidget with my rings, swallowing before i speak. “i like you too.”

i look up to see a smiling matt, and i grin back.

i sigh, looking out the window. “look at us, using the word ‘like’ to describe our feelings. what’re we, five?” i laugh, making him chuckle.

i turn back toward him, and matt immediately smashes his lips onto mine. i lean in, him caressing my cheeks.

matt swings an arm around my waist, fully pulling me onto his lap. i smile against his lips, reaching down and unbuckling his seatbelt beneath me.

matt bucks his hips up at the feeling of my fingers on him. i feel his bulge rub against my bare thigh, and he pulls away.

“s-sorry. is that weird?”

i shake my head. “not at all. it just shows that you really do like me.” i say with a smile, placing a hand on his jaw, and pulling him into me again.

matt takes off my cardigan, tossing it in the passengers seat. he places his hands on the seam of my miniskirt, and stops, pulling away. “can i?”

pushing my lips back onto his, i mumble “yes”, and matt pulls away again. i sigh irritably, and he gives me a look.

“use your words if you want this.”

i bite my bottom lip, matt’s eyes on them. i bite the inside of my cheek, and look out the window. matt places a soft hand on my jaw, turning me to look at him.

“hey, if you don’t want to do this, we can just head back inside. i’ll just be glad that we’re good again.” he smiles.

i nod, and he raises an eyebrow. “i want to do this.”

matt’s smile turns into a smirk, and he pulls my skirt up to my waist, places both hands on my ass. i smash my lips back onto his, smiling against him.

matt tightens the grip on my hips, leading them. i slowly begin to grind against his clothed bulge. matt pulls away, breathing heavily against the side of my face.

i continue, matt now kissing down my neck, struggling to contain himself. he’s practically digging his fingers into my skin, guiding my hips.

i pierce my lip with my teeth, trying to stop the moans that threatened to escape my mouth. “matt…”

“almost…” he pushes himself against me, making the sensation even more intense. my panties are probably a leaking mess on him as my eyes begin to water from the stimulation.

matt slows to a stop, and he catches his breath. i breathe heavily into his neck, my mascara smudging on his skin.

he pulls me off of him to take a look at my face.

“are you okay? was it too much?” he questions, genuine worry taking over his expression. i wipe the smudged mascara off of my face, smiling at him. “i’m okay, matt.”

he pulls me in, hugging me tightly. “i’m so glad we’re good now. i’ve missed you so much, y/n.” i grin widely.

i pull away, sniffling. we just stare at eachother, and i look down, my skirt still at my waist. “we should probably fix ourselves before we go back inside.” i say through a breathy chuckle.

“yeah.” matt replies. i climb off of his lap, pulling down my skirt in the passenger seat. matt looks down at his jeans, a wet spot on his crotch. i stifle my laughter, matt turning to look at me.

“i can’t go inside like this.” he says through a laugh.

“at least they’re dark wash denim.” i shrug, still laughing. he scoffs, and attempts to wipe it off.

“matt, it’s not going anywhere. it’ll be fine, it’s pretty dark inside anyway.” i reassure. he looks up at me, a small smile on his lips.

we climb out of the car, matt grabbing the slightly melted ice. “probably could’ve chosen a better time to do that.” he jokes.

we enter the foyer of the house, mia meeting us at the door. “soooo, are you two good now?” she asks eagerly.

i look at matt, and he gives me a smile.

“yeah, we’re good.”

[sniperct]

I dont think ive seen anywhere expect fanfiction but a paragraph break between different speakers ect, everything else ive read uses a line break. Idk if anon asks keep full formatting but if they do then the normal format would be

"hello" he said "goodbye" she said

as opposed to the fanfic approach of

"hello" he said

"goodbye" she said

OH! The double space!

I've always found that much easier for me to read and its how I've written forever, like I can't even tell you why I started, but it predates my AO3 account.

Though I did find something I wrote about Tar-Miriel/Numenor from a long time ago where I didn't double space after a paragraph.

But I've read books that do the double space between paragraphs and others that don't. I don't think it's a recent trend.

like, preview from next yearning:

He mewled and Elsa turned to pick him up, singing, “Who’s orange? You’re orange!” “He is pretty orange,” Kristoff agreed. Olaf spoke up, lifting his eyes from a thick book he was attempting to read, “Did you know that scientific studies have proven that the closer one gets to felis catus, the more one’s intelligence wanes?”

vs that numenor fic

The old man strains his ears to catch the exchange of harsh whispers, "You tread dangerously, Zimraphel. Such words stink of treason." "Do not dare speak to me of treason, abomination. You are the one who stinks of fell darkness and things too evil to mention in the light of day. They are doomed, and you know it as well as I." His voice is a threat, "You grow bold, majesty." "Not all are fooled by appearances, dark one. Too long have I failed my people, my father, and my birthright. Your time is numbered."

Personally I find the latter harder to read, the paragraphs kinda blend together.

[ch6rm]

࣪˖ ִ⭑ ࣪ avoidance (chris sturniolo)

⭑ soph's note. second post hi. idk how i feel about this, ive never written something like this so hopefully it's not that bad.... also, thank you for almost 70 followers already and the likes on my last blurb, appreciate the love so much ♡

"is this what we do now? have sex, and not speak about it?" you ask, the question hanging heavy in the air as you look over to chris, who pauses his actions on his phone. he stays silent, not responding, but you knew he had heard you. you look away from him, sighing quietly as you glance around the slight darkness of the bedroom. you were tired of opening yourself up to chris, just for him to push you away.

"what?" he responds after a moment, looking over to you, but he knew what you meant.

you scoff slightly, looking over to him and sitting up slightly on the bed, "you know what i mean, chris." you had tried to talk to him. over and over, but it was like a wall had been built between you. one that felt impossible to break down.

"what 'd you do that for?" he murmurs, still staring blankly at his phone. you furrow your brows at his stupid question, opening your mouth to speak before he interrupts you. "make things into a big deal, i mean. why do you want to keep complicating things?" he looks over to you, setting his phone down.

"do what? i don't want to complicate things," you correct him, slight frustration bubbling up. "i just wanna talk, chris. can't we just talk, for once? you don't get to push me away like this. it isn't fair."

things were complicated, sure, they always were with chris. in the beginning, it felt like everything was falling into place. his words were sweet, wrapped in promises, ones that lingered even after he said them. for a while, those words felt like enough. even if there was no label on your relationship, it was enough. but then, slowly, something began to shift. it's like he realized how close he was getting to you, and immediately started pushing you away emotionally. the way his gaze would linger on you, but never quite meet your eyes. he was always there, always close, but never really there. not anymore.

every time you showed him the parts of yourself that you kept hidden from everyone else, he would pull back a little more, retreating into himself. you had began to wonder if maybe, you were the problem. if your presence was too much, too heavy for him. but it wasn't. you weren't the problem.

the silence stretched between you after you spoke. the air felt thick as he sighed at your words. no, it wasn't fair. but that didn't matter to him, did it? you could feel it—his avoidance. it was a feeling you had grown familiar to when it came to chris.

"seriously, chris. i'm tired of acting like everything's fine." you speak again, needing him to talk to you, to at least give it some acknowledgement. you look over to him, silently begging him to open up, to say anything. instead, he looks down at his hands, his expression unreadable.

his words full of affection, promises that were never quite fulfilled, had turned into nothing more than distant echoes. you had been vulnerable with him, you had opened yourself up in ways you hadn’t with anyone else, and yet, it was like he was too afraid to let you see him as he really was. you wanted to be there for him. you wanted to show him that you cared, that your care for him was beyond lust. that you weren't going anywhere. but he wasn't letting you in. and you realized, maybe he wasn't going to. maybe he couldn't—no. maybe he didn't want to.

and so, you sat there, both of you in that dimly lit bedroom. two people who had once been so close, but now felt like strangers. you hear chris let out a heavy sigh, meeting your eyes for a moment before getting up from the bed.

"where are you going?" you ask, disappointed as you once again had no answer to the questions lingering in your mind. you watch, a frown plastered on your face as he grabs his car keys and phone from the bedside table.

"are we seriously talking about this again?" he huffs to himself, running a hand through his hair before answering your question, "i just need to clear my head. ill be back," he mumbles before leaving you there, the bedroom door left open as you hear his footsteps retreating and eventually the faint hum of his car driving away.

you were left with nothing but your thoughts, the quiet hum of the ac, and the weight of something that never quite blossomed. 

© ch6rm

[bqu1nns]

hiiiiii!!! thank u for ALL the freaking love on my posts/dm's i have recieved!! dont be afraid to leave a request in my inbox if u guys have any ideas for things u want to see me write (im currently writing a smut request... ask away!!) for this fic i wanted to delve in deeper with more "darker" themes of past s@ and other stuff :'( ive gone thru this myself and i just wanted to write it out!! also this is basically about brian doesnt want u to leave him because youre returning for a new sem in college/uni and hes gonna miss u. i hope u guys this like this one + ask me if u guys want a SERIES of this one.. i have so many ideas. LOVE YALL!! ps. i will be writing HOPEFULLY every single day from now on :0)

also i was inspired to write this based off of "smoke signals" by the beautiful and charming phoebe bridgers. song is about reconnecting with the broken parts of yourself and confronting the truths that hadn't been said before... YES!

also idek if brian smokes.. i know he smokes w33d sometimes but idk about cigarettes? hopefully that didn't ruin the story sorry :'(

smoke signals ꔫ brian q.

1385 words

the evening had been a whirlwind of laughter, warmth, and drunk friends that lingered long after they bid their goodbyes to me and brian. brian had this way of making you feel like you were the only person in the room. tonight had surely been no different. after a cozy dinner and hours of effortless conversations. his laughter echoed in your mind like a favourite song you just couldn't forget, but it wasn't the laughter you awoke to hours later. it was complete and utter silence. 

the bed was empty next to you, the indent of his body still carved into the soft mattress. the faint scent of his smell— earthy and familiar—lingered into the sheets. you sat up slowly, the blanket pooling around your waist, you scanned the room. it sure was quiet, safe from the muted hum of the city below. then, you saw it: a faint glow from the balcony door, the flicker of a lighter’s flame sparkling against the night. 

you pulled on his hoodie from the chair by the bed—it smelled like him, a little worn—and stepped out onto the balcony, barefoot and all. 

brian stood with his back to you, the city skyline stretching out before him like a sea of fractured stars. the cigarette between his two calloused fingers burned lazily, the smoke curling up and flowing into the night’s air. he was still, almost too still, his shoulders tense beneath his band t-shirt. for a moment, you hesitated, not wanting to intrude. 

“i can feel your eyes on me, hon,” brian said, his voice low and gruff, cutting through the silence. 

you froze for a second, but then a smile crept onto your lips. “you can feel my eyes on you?,” you stepped closer to his side.

he turned his head just slightly, enough for you to catch the edge of his smirk, “you've got a stare that's pretty hard to miss.”

you leaned against the railing beside him, letting your arms brush his, the sudden contact seemed to soften him up. he glanced up and down at you, smiling softly, and then at the cigarette between his fingers before taking a slow drag, ember glowing briefly in the dark. 

“couldn't sleep?,” you asked, breaking the silence once again.

he exhaled, the smoke curling past his lips. “didn’t see the point of it,” he chuckled. “you?”, he nudged your shoulder.

you shrugged, pulling his hoodie tighter around yourself. “woke up and you weren't there. thought you’d been abducted by aliens or something.”

that earned a quiet laugh from him, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. he tilted his head back, staring at the night sky—or what could've been beyond the city lights. “nah, if the aliens wanted me, they’d have come for me a loooong time ago.”

he wasn't a man who wasted his words.

“brian,” you started gently, the breeze carrying your hair softly, “what's going on?”

he didn't answer right away. instead, he just stared out at the city, the glow of the streetlights casting colourful shadows across his face. he finally spoke, voice low, almost like a whisper. 

“you're leaving tomorrow.”

you swallowed, the weight of his words setting over you. “you know i have to, bri,” you said softly.

his rough hands gripped the railing, knuckles clenching. “do you remember what you told me when i left for college? seems like it was ages ago.”

the question caught you off guard, but it didn't take long to search through your brain to find the answer. you remembered every word, every tear-stain on your pillow, every goodbye. 

“i told you that i couldn't stand being away from you when you're gonna be in a whole other state while i'm here finishing highschool,” you said quietly.

brian nodded, “you said it wasn't fair to either of us. that we needed to live our own lives.” he paused, put the cigarette out, squishing it. “but i didn't know what you were really going through.”

you flinched at the memory of those days, flooding back like a tidal wave. the nights you cried yourself to sleep. the mornings you woke up feeling like a shell of yourself; pearl taken away from you by some other man. the way you couldn't bring yourself to tell him about the assault—how could you? how would that conversation even go? he was already carrying the weight of his own future and you’d been drowning in yours. 

“i didn't want to hold you back,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper.

he turned to look at you then, his eyes searching for something. “you didn't hold me back,” he said, his voice cracking a little. “i didn't understand why you left back then. i just…i thought i wasn't enough for you to fight for.”

the words hit you like a good punch in the gut, and for a moment, you couldn't breathe. “brian, it was never like that. it wasn't that,” you said, voice trembling. “i was—” you stopped, choking over your own words. “i didn't leave because i didn't love you. i left because i didn't know how to handle what happened to me. i couldn't handle us while trying to put myself back together.”

the weight of your confession hung in the air, words you didn't even really realize within yourself just popped out. for a moment, he didn't say anything. he just stared at you, face softening as the anxiety drained away from his features. 

like he had tears in his eyes. 

“i know that now,” he said finally, voice getting quieter. “i know why you did what you did but that doesn't mean that it didn't hurt like hell.”

“i didn't want to hurt you,” you whispered. “i thought i was doing the right thing. you had a whole future in front of you, and i didnt want to drag you down with my… mess.”

he reached out, hand brushing yours. “you weren't ever a mess to me. you're never going to lose me.”

“but what if i do?” you whispered, question trembling in the space between the two of you.

“when you left last time,” his voice low and unsteady, “it felt like…like someone had ripped out the ground beneath me. and i told myself that i’d never let anyone have that kind of power over me. that i’d never fall in love again.”

you bit your lip, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. 

“but then you came back into my life,” he continued, voice softening. “and all that—everything i’d tried so fucking hard to bury—it came rushing back like it had never left me, even for a second. and i let it back in. for you. us.”

you reached for his hand, threading your fingers through his. his rip was firm, grounding, like he was holding on for the both of you.

“It's ironic, isn't it?” he said, the corner of his mouth turning into a smirk. “you're the one that's going to college and leaving this time.”

“i don't want to go.” you chuckle as tears spilled over now, hot and out of your control. you hugged him tightly, putting your face into the crook of his neck. 

“then stay,” he said, cradling your face in between his hands, kissing your cheeks sweet and slowly. 

“i can't,” you said, wiping your tears. “you know i can't. but that doesnt mean im letting you go. not this time.”

he lets out a shaky breath and you feel it on your skin. “feels like you're slippin’ through my fingers all over again, doll.”

you turned to him, hand reaching to touch his face, your thumb brushing against the scruff of his jaw. “i'm not,” you said, words steady even though your heart ached. “i'm not going to let us fall apart. you have to believe me, bri.”

he leaned into your touch, pressing a kiss to your hand. “you swear?” he asked, barely above a whisper. “i swear,” you said, “i love you too much to lose you again.”

he pulled you tightly into his arms, holding you like he was afraid you’d disappear if he let go. “i love you so much…too much baby,” he murmured into your hair. 

“let's get back to bed, hmm?” you say as you pull back, leading him back in. 

“you sure we’ll actually sleep?”

– ♡

would u guys want me to make a pt 2 of this or a series of this fic with them of them going to the airport perhaps and dropping reader off.... maybe... college!gf and firefighter!brian .... im dropping my fantasies onto you guys SOUNDS FUN!!!

[httpiastri]

paul aron's hair throughout the 2024 season 💁‍♂️

(also known as pt2 of jack being obsessed with a certain blonde curly-haired boy)

hello everyone and happy new year! i hope your 2024 has been lovely and that 2025 provides you with tons of joy and love. 💗

i'm back again with yet another paul hair appreciation post! i loved making it last year and so ive been thinking about it all year and collecting pics 🥰 last year i remember having to search really hard fo some of the pics – two weekends i even had only three pics 😭 but this year i've really had to kill my darlings because i've deleted so so many pics that i like just bcs i didn't want to make this too overwhelming... and i still ended up over 300 pictures..... 😶

last two things before we get started: the wind is my best friend nowadays because of how it affects his hair. so many pics here of his hair in all kinds of directions (and esp the gifs).... anD if you see any pic here that you want in it's original form, lmk and i'll post it for you!! i will keep the pics saved on my phone for a few days before i delete them to make space lol.

soooo hope you enjoy!! and check out last year's edition hereee if you want. 💗

‎‎ ‎

bahrain

some pics from before the season started (testing & media days) and some from the first weekend! very messy at times, esp after sessions, but very cute. feels like maybe this was before he started caring a lot abt his hair and how it looks even during the race weekends? if you get what i mean? like some weekends it looks a bit too perfect that it feels like he made sure it looked like that… maybe? anyways very cute!

‎‎ ‎

jeddah

pretty long hair? very cute!! also looked pretty light despite how dark it was there when they drove during the evening etc. the middle row from the prema lap from when he was talking to ollie 🫶

‎

melbourne

shorter than in jeddah so a little haircut? looks pretty thin also?? hmm but very curly 🥰 love the middle and most right pics in the top row also lmao, love mid-workout expressions 😁

‎

formula e

pics both from his tests and his race round in fe! his hair looks so fried in the top left pic eye 😭 it was very fly-y this weekend? wanted to escape everywhere all the time so i had tons of pics of little strands everywhere! curls go crazy 🥹

‎

imola

looks very dark here actually!! and kinda short also? love the little tips of the curls like that too aaaaa 😭 and the ways some certain individual curls are so spirally and just……. aaaaaa cute

‎

monaco

love the sight of his hair poking out of his cap/balaclava etc (first three pics) aaaaaa !!!! and his hair in the belvita pic 😭 looks like he has little horns :(( so messy and cute. and the post-race interview? it was high at the back that it looked like one of those old hairstyles??? idk what its called but i think you understand

‎

barcelona

also very dark despite the sun! 😯 and not super fluffy or cute etc but still yk very good hair. 😌

‎

spielberg

TOP LEFT PIC. THE LITTLE 🌱. I CANNOT TAKE THIS GUYS I JUST CANT. his hair after the sprint race was truly something new also…. i mean yes it was very warm so obvs very sweaty but damn it looks so crazy 😭 (stupidly enough i didnt put them together, but it's the top four pics on the right side and bottom two on the left side)

‎

silverstone

bad weekend race-wise but amaaazinnggggg weekend hair-wise. so so long curls, so curly, so poofy!! actually probably my favorite hair weekend. just so adorable. never needed to brush my fingers through his locks this much before….

‎

hungaroring

pole aron >>> everything 🥰 dont have a lot to say, i just adore the post-race messiness and esp in combination with his pink cute cheeks? also maybe i shouldnt comment his looks since this is a hair post buttt the middle pic on the left side? baby baby baby???? (and the middle middle pic still gives me nightmares ngl)

‎

spa

probably my second fave hair weekend? so so light!!! actually managed to sneak a pic i took of him into this 🥺 (the quality is terrible BUT i took it!! yay!!!!) i actually never watched this episode of "chasing the dream" until last night (was heartbroken bcs of the feature 🥲) and oh my goD it was such a good paul episode? so so many amazing paul shots?? of his hair yes but just him in general and his cute face and his smile?? his pretty baby blue eyes?!?!?!!!??!!!!! insane. will be watching it every night to have happy sweet dreams 🥰

‎

summer break

cowboy paul 🤠 hair looked a lot lighter after his italy visit but idk how much time he actually spent in the sun? considering his fair northern european skin? (like im also northern european so i know it's hard to keep your hair in the sun to bleach it and still keep your skin safe 🥲) it was SO hard to make this collage without spending five hours just staring at his abs, ngl.

‎

monza

why do the top four pics give me like… golf vibes? like he's sitting there trying to see if the ball went into the hole?? ANYWAYS. kinda dark considering how light it looked during the summer break?? but very defined curls. *chefs kiss*

‎

baku

not as curly as sometimes, just… very messy? kinda flat at times, pretty light and fluffy other times. very cute nonetheless <33 (also speaking of him and his hairline… some pics here are ruthless in that way aaaa)

‎

qatar

looove the way the hair curls around the cap he's wearing when he's out in the wind!! like he has some kind of fluffy padding in it yk?? b a b y. the pics of him right after the feature race are crazy, the hair is everywhere but i understand that he had other things to care about 😭

‎

abu dhabi

the pics on the far right are from a vid on the f2 story from that weekend and i was kinda heartbroken that i chose the collage format to only include his hair and not his facial expressions, because he was SO babyboy in that video. (it's still available in their story highlights! check it out if you havent seen it yet!!!) the curls are so defined and curly but so so pretty, like not very messy just !!! feels like maybe he properly styled them very well this weekend? because the curls look so perfect at times that im like "yeah he didnt just wake up like that". (and that's more than okay!!! 🥰) except for when he just got out of the car lmao like the bottom left pic. insane

‎

other breaks/postseason

mixed pics from random breaks, and pics from after the season (like his seat fitting with alpine)! some of the pics from the parc ferme photoshoot are also very very 🌱, like the top two on the column row! adorableeeee!! the curls also look definitely styled from the family's trip to rome? and the bottom two pics of the second and third column from some forest visit with karl, the hair was adorable :(

‎

gifs !!!

just some random gifs of his hair movement 🫶 as ive already said, i love the wind! thank you mother nature for your hard work!!! also paul running and his hair flopping up and down like a dog's ears will NEVER get old, just saying

if anyone made it this far, thank you for looking & reading!! hope you enjoyed and hope you're maybe at least somewhat near as obsessed as me <33

[bee-ina-boat]

heres a collection of concept art for the rest of the entities for the mythos au!! if you're wondering where the eye is, they've been drawn already!

they are all FAR from done. keep in mind these are all just my initial concepts and i plan to do in-depth design sheets as i go to explore their designs more.

IF YOU HAVE ANY IDEAS ON HOW TO IMPROVE THESE DESIGNS PLEASE THROW EM AT ME- MY ANON IS OPEN AND I READ TAGS I DONT CARE JUST!!!! GIMME!!!!!

(also au context: the magnus mythos is an au where the entities are all gods, similar to various religious mythology, rather than paranormal entities that feed on fear)

design thoughts for each of them under the cut

The Web - God of Fate (she/it): im pretty happy with her design atm, shes meant to be a half spider half woman thing and i love that for her. shes probably the one ive thought the most on so far given her importance to the story. i want her to wear silks and shiny silver jewelry that just sparkles like wet spiderwebs do, not sure if im gonna keep the veil?

The Dark - God of the Dark (she/he/it): probably my weakest concept at the moment. it doesnt do the dark any justice. i mean i like the cloak idea but i want them to be very tendrilly, all consuming, shadowy, but i dont know how to properly portray them :/

The Desolation - God of Destruction and Fire (they/it): i have a neat vision for them! i want them to be made of coal and ash and smoke, to be burning and glowing on the inside, and their body is decorated with melted wax to look like clothes. not quiiiiiite sure about how their melty candle dress is now? i want it to be less constrictive

The Stranger - God of the Unknown and the Whimsical (he/she/they/it): it's meant to be this. weird wirey creature hidden behind masks and a lot of fabrics, like the framework of a poseable plush doll? i like the way the masks look but im not so sure about the body.

The Vast - God of the Above (she/he/they/it): im not so sure about his design at all im gonna be real. i want them to look like the atmosphere and be covered in clouds and have mountains for feet and an ocean cape but i feel like it might be a bit?? idk??? im just not that happy with it :/

The End - God of Death and Time (they/it): ugh i love this concept sm, making death read as less scary and more divine is so fun. theyre based on a seraphim and a sand timer,

The Buried - God of the Underneath (she/he/they/it): ANOTHER OF MY FAVORITES!!!! i love them. theyre inspired by hermit crabs!! and they have silver chains holding their shell to them. they look so endearing with their lil lopsided eyes ;; <3

The Flesh - God of the Body and Meat (she/he/they/it): i have so many ideas for the flesh y'all- im very excited to do a concept sheet for them. theyre meant to have no skin, just exposed bone and muscle, large limbs, hooves, exposed heart underneath a ribcage, teeth that close around their abdomen. white bandages that wrap around like clothes. a teeth/horn crown? i dont quite know whether to go for a more animalistic look or a more human one? like- theres so many ways to go with him idek!!!

The Hunt - God of Predators and Pride (they/it): see, i like this design but i feel like its too werewolf like? yknow? thats cool!! but itreads more monster to me than God :/

The Corruption - God of Nature, Rot, and Disease (she/they/it): i love this weird bug thing. this one i was really inspired for (mostly because. corruption aligned. so obviously im gonna think about this one alot) theyre this weird bug thing, the veil is inspired by the one from the art on the wiki! i want to maybe make them a bit more gross and weird because nature is like that sometimes, a moot on tiktok suggested that i add animal bones!! and i think thats SO smart im absolutely going too

The Spiral - God of the Incomprehensible (it/its): this weirdo is so hard to pin down istg. i imagine them as this spiral thing. body is kindof liquidy, arms are spindly and long, multiple shifting faces, overall just constantly changing and moving and like!!! how am i meant to draw that??? when my brain cant even wrap my head around what its supposed to look like yknow??? bruh jrdbhgfjdldgfh- that being said i think the main problem with the design is that it just gives me too many Michael vibes!!! is it the hair? the arms? its probably both.

The Lonely - God of Solitude and the Self (they/it): i like what this one has going so far! theyve got fog hair, fog tears, their body is meant to be splotchy like turquoise marble, i vibe with it so hard. not so sure what to do with their outfit tho :/

The Slaughter - God of War (he/they/it): another one of my more stronger designs i think! centaur with weapons sticking into them, face concealed, medieval armor and antlers- it vibes

the extinction isnt drawn because i literally have no idea what they should look like aside from color palette-

once again any and all suggestions will be taken!!!! i need ideas!!! plese!!!!

[nanamiswidow]

a little nanami x reader smut for funsies.

an: i've never posted my writing on tumblr sooo a lil nervous about this. & its been so long since ive written smut, v rusty. i was also testing myself in the beginning to try and not use dialogue bc i feel like i use it too much so the beginning may be extra garbo. if this doesn't do well, pretend it didn't happen. boarder credit as well <3 the purple stars & the mdni

word count: 1,497

cw: (sleepy in the first half) unprotected sex (p in v), singular gendered term (kento calls reader 'sweet girl'), hair pulling, dirty talk, creampie, garbo smut (?) idk (if i missed any pls lemme know)

It was 1am by the time he finally stepped foot into the shared apartment. Nanami knew he wasn’t going to be greeted by you, but there were a few things out of place that let him know you had tried your hardest to stay up. The living room tv still displayed a quieted movie, a few lights still lit, and the person of the hour snoozing peacefully on the couch albeit looking a bit uncomfortable in their position.

He loosened his yellow tie as he wandered through the apartment, switching off the rest of the lights, and eventually making his way back towards the living room. He reached over, his fingers brushing your hair out of your face as he turned off the screen. You stirred just enough to catch a glimpse of the man before you which forced you out of your sleep almost entirely. You graced him with a sleepy smile which he was quick to return. You mumbled something about trying your hardest to stay awake until he came back, but he shook his head, his fingers finding your hair again to successfully move it completely from your face.

Nanami coaxed you up, finally wrapping his arms around you, pulling you flush against him. Despite having just woken up, you didn’t hesitate to find his tie, your face turning to concentration, a very sleepy version of it, as you undid it completely. It brought a sigh to him once your fingers moved to the first few buttons of his blue dress shirt. There was a comment about how tired he looked and he showed no effort to fight the accusations, leaning forward to press his face into your neck which was confirmation enough for you. There was a deep inhale from his end, taking in the scent that was just completely you. He could tell you had taken a shower before you had laid in wait for him. It brought him immediate comfort. You exhaled a laugh, your fingers burying themselves into his hair as you returned the physical affection. 

Relocating to the bedroom didn’t take any kind of effort. You reluctantly allowed him to disappear into the bathroom, he promised you a quick shower as you climbed into bed. He kept his promise, reappearing ten minutes later, completely ready for bed. If his attire hadn’t said so, the look on his face definitely did. 

Now, Nanami was ready to climb into bed himself. Sleep was not far off and he was looking forward to getting some shut eye. The second he got comfortable, he reached over and you didn’t waste any time snuggling up to him. You were met with the smell of his own conditioner and soap, smells that just instantly reminded you of him. You hummed in pure bliss with your nose pressed up against his cheek. 

Nanami was unphased by the closeness and, in fact, you weren’t close enough. One large hand dipped beneath the covers, his fingers finding your thigh to bring your one leg over his waist as he brought you flush against him once again. His hand lingered, fingertips pressing into the soft skin, and his thumb began to lazily caress your thigh. It was such an innocent thing, maybe even mindless, trying to coax the both of you into sleep faster, but it was doing the opposite.

Eventually, you sat up, straddling his waist now. He let out a huff, he didn’t want to deny you anything, but he made the argument of how late it was and how tired you looked. You scoffed, if anything, he was the one with the dark bags under his eyes, but you reassured him. Leaning down and pulling him into a kiss finally for the first time that night. The way Nanami held onto your waist was definitely contradicting his earlier statements. The kiss was innocent at first until you licked your way into his mouth which caused his grip on you to tighten. Soon enough, he was forcing you to rock your hips into him. The movements were slow, far too concentrated on the way the other tasted, until his grip on you was borderline painful.

Nanami leaned his head back as you pressed kisses into his cheek and down to his neck. Your fingers reached between the two of you as your fingers felt for the waistband of his pants, he assured you it wasn’t necessary, even apologizing for starting something he probably couldn’t finish. You shushed him, reassuring him with a few gentle kisses, watching his head dip back once again as your fingers wrapped around his cock. 

“Let me take care of you…” You whispered against him before pulling him into another kiss as you lifted your hips up. Discarding your panties before your hand wrapped around his cock again, running the tip through your slick folds a few times, whimpers spilling out of you as you did so. Nanami watched as you teased the both of you, his fingers running up your thighs before grasping onto your shirt, bunching it up so as to not block his view. He wanted to watch you sit on his cock. Wanted to watch the way you took him in and to watch your face contort with pleasure.

And you didn’t disappoint. You lowered yourself down onto him, the both of you gasping as your bodies connected and Nanami watched your eyebrows furrow and watched you bite down onto your lower lip. And you wasted no time, almost immediately beginning to move up and down on his length with ease. You were so warm… so wet. Just for him. 

A breathy moan escaped your lips as you leaned forward, burying your face into Nanami’s neck, your hips keeping a slow pace. One of Nanami’s arms wrapped around your upper body while the other held onto your hip, coaxing you to continue your slow movements. He buried his own face into your neck, breath hot against your ear, and inhaling your familiar scent.

“Missed you…” Nanami whispered into your ear, his hold on you tightening to better emphasize it.

You felt yourself melt further into him at the sound of his voice. The two of you had only been apart for a few hours, but you had missed him just as much and he could feel it in the way your body clung to him. Those few hours were usually spent worrying about him and it was always a sigh of relief seeing him come home in one piece.

“Just like that…” His voice breathy now as his hand tightened on your hip. “Feels so good…”

He felt your inner walls clench around his cock, making the both of you moan and causing your hips to falter in their lazy movements. Nanami continued his whispered praises into your ear in between shaky breaths and sighs of his own until your body tensed up, feeling that all too familiar warmth in the pit of your stomach, as you came around him.

The man beneath you didn’t give you any time to recover. His broad arms wrapped around your body tighter as he planted his feet on the bed and fucked up into you, spurred on by the feeling of your orgasm, the feeling of your pussy wrapped so tightly around him. His pace was brutal, the tiredness he felt just a few moments ago completely gone, replaced with the need to have you, his fingers digging into your sides. The overstimulation of it all was overwhelming, but intoxicating at the same time. 

“That’s my sweet girl… Always take me so well…” Nanami whispered out against you, one of his hands coming up to grab locks of your hair, pulling your face out from being hidden against him. “Tell me how badly you want my cum…” He continued, feeling his own orgasm building up. The sounds you were making, the creamy ring around the base of his cock, and the sound of skin against skin was becoming all too much. 

“I know you can do it, baby…” Nanami encouraged, emphasizing his words with a small tug of your hair. He could see the words just on the tip of your tongue.

“Need you to fill me up… want every drop…” You finally managed. He was utterly satisfied with your answer, proud even. He let your head drop back down to his neck as he wrapped his arms around you again, tighter, to finish fucking you properly. 

It didn’t take long for his thrusts to falter, a few curses escaping his lips under his breath as he filled you with his milky seed. The feeling of him filling you never seemed to get old. Once you both caught your breath, you lifted your head up, giving him a sleepy smile, one he didn’t hesitate to mirror. One of his hands reached up to caress your cheek before pulling you into a soft kiss that had you melting into him all over again.

[chadillacboseman]

Pairing: Phillip Graves x GN!Reader (no actual pairing between them tho) Word Count: Idk man. Like 1.5k. Warnings: Graves being pathetic, masturbation, pillow humping, reader is in a relationship with Alejandro. Summary: The MW2 timeline is fluid, and brother, I'm hooked up to an IV. Graves is in Las Almas with 141 and Los Vaqueros, sharing space with them as the hunt for Hassan continues. There's only one thing he wants while he's there. You.

--

Phillip Graves isn't used to not getting what he wants.

Contractor money can buy almost anything, can sway almost anyone. Being denied isn't really in the handbook.

The first time Graves laid eyes on you, he knew he had to have you. You were bent low over a map, contemplating alongside Rudy and Alejandro.

You took his fucking breath away.

Graves and his Shadows have been with the 141 and Los Vaqueros for weeks now, searching for Hassan and the missiles with no progress. No end in sight.

He's done his yelling at Shepherd, spent countless hours on the phone begging for a way out of the contract or a base of his own in Las Almas.

"What is the problem, Graves?" Shepherd is frustrated, taking his call in between meetings and debriefs, "Can I not count on you to get this done?"

"Sir-" Graves is flustered, pacing the hallway outside the base's shop, "Their base isn't equipped-"

"Get the job done, Graves, and don't call me until you do!"

The line goes dead.

"Shepherd giving you a hard time?" you're leaning against the wall, your head cocked to the side as you observe him.

"You could say that," Graves shoves the phone back in his pocket and avoids your gaze.

Alejandro stuck Graves with you when he first arrived, tasking you with giving him a tour of the base and getting him familiar with the operations. You were radiant, effortlessly funny and undaunted by his power or his position.

The obsession is insidious, starting slowly, with Graves missing the sound of your voice or the way you smelled when you weren't around. He finds himself making excuses to be close to you, to take details that have the two of you alone.

He tries to hide it, tries so desperately to make sure no one notices the way he trails after you and stares at you with wide, pleading eyes whenever you speak.

Graves wants to have you so badly it hurts.

But he can't.

You're Alejandro's, and he makes that abundantly clear at every turn. He always keeps a protective hand on you, steals small kisses from you when he thinks no one is looking.

Oh, how Graves despises the Vaquero. He wants to see him bleed. To see him crumpled in a heap on the floor of some jail cell he'll never escape.

For now, he settles for watching from the shadows, pining like some lovesick schoolboy as he watches Alejandro enjoy what should be his.

He imagines what you must feel like, what you must taste like; he thinks of how soft your hair would be, splayed out over his pillow, his name tumbling from your lips like a prayer.

The need burns hot in Graves' chest, pooling and dark, so strong that it scares him. He's never wanted anything so badly in his life, never felt the hopeless, burning and inescapable jealousy he feels now.

He finds himself avoiding you. Avoiding your sun-bright eyes and infectious laugh. When you approach him, he turns heel and flees like a coward.

You notice. Of course you do. You're so fucking smart. Too smart for Alejandro, that brainless lout.

Graves takes to hiding in a server room at the base, some hole in the wall full of wires and blinking lights. It's loud, hot, and stifling, but it's mercifully free of you.

Until it isn't.

"Phillip, what the hell is going on with you?"

Your voice jolts him from his work, and he nearly sends his laptop clattering to the floor.

Phillip. No one ever calls him that- just you. It sends a burning, sizzling, hot lead of high voltage straight through his chest that makes his ears flush red.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Graves nearly has to spit it through his clenched teeth. He's a shitty liar, he knows it and you know it too. It's the reason he never joins in on poker nights with the 141.

"You're avoiding me," there's resentment and accusation in your voice, but there's something else too, something that makes his heart drop. Sadness.

Graves has been avoiding you. Even being in your presence makes him feel like he's losing control. Seeing Alejandro steal little touches, hearing the way you laugh when he whispers something in Spanish. It drives him mad.

"I have work to do, princess," he tries to soften the edge in his voice, but it doesn't work- the cutesy nickname instead feels like an insult lobbed at you.

You open and close your mouth a few times, processing what he's just said to you. You look hurt and he's spiraling. He wants to jump to his feet and cup your chin, to tell you to run away with him. Run back to the States and leave this shithole behind.

"Fuck you, Graves," you turn on your heel and disappear from the doorway. The use of his last name stings- it takes everything in his power to not race after you, to apologize and beg for your forgiveness.

It's your turn to avoid him now. Graves expects relief, but he doesn't get it. You're so deeply embedded in his brain that he can't seem to shake himself out of his obsession.

He wants to apologize- no, he needs to apologize to you. You're hard to find, though. Making yourself scarce in areas you know he'd be in. Maybe you won't forgive him. Maybe you'll tell him to fuck off and that will be enough to snap him out of it.

Graves finally finds you in the shop. It's late, later than you have any business being there. Alejandro went off-base hours ago.

"Hey-" his voice sounds small and threatens to crack, dropping like a dead weight in the tense air.

You don't look up from what you're working on, merely offering him an almost imperceptible nod to acknowledge his presence.

"What do you want, Graves?"

To apologize. To tell you the truth. To pin you to the wall and-

"If you haven't got anything to say to me, then please leave me alone," you sound annoyed, but there's something else to it. You don't want him to leave, but he doesn't know that.

"Look, I'm..." he trails off, the words aren't coming out. It's like they're stuck just behind his tongue. Suddenly, he's fifteen again, stuttering in front of the third new classmates he's had that year.

"I'm sorry," the apology finally falls out of his mouth, almost as one word in his hurry to say it, "For the other day."

You finally look up at him, and he feels his heart leap into his throat. In the dim light of the shop, your features are even more striking. Your eyes glimmer under the yellow incandescent bulbs, and there's a smudge of grease on your cheek.

God, how he wants to reach out and swipe his thumb across your skin.

"Phillip," there it is again. It makes his heart hammer against his rib cage, "What's going on with you?"

He could tell you the truth. Maybe a slap across the face would change his opinion of you-

"Phil?" you reach out and tap gently on his vest, rapping your fingertips against the flag badge that adorns it, "Whatever it is, you can tell me."

Just say it. Say it! SAY IT!

Your phone rings and Graves jumps, his confession coming to a stop just behind his teeth. He glimpses the contact name on the screen and feels his nerves be replaced with a wave of jealousy.

Alejandro.

Your conversation with him is a blur, Graves catches words here and there, "soon" "in the shop" "I'd love that".

"Phil, we'll continue this conversation tomorrow, okay?" you cock your head and try to read his expression to no avail.

"Sure," he swallows, hard, and watches as you walk away.

--

While the others are crammed together at the base, Graves is in private lodging, paid for on Shadow Company's dime. He tosses his bags to the floor and sheds his tactical vest, letting it drop haphazardly in a heap by the door.

The shower is calling his name, but he doesn't have the energy to do it, instead dropping onto the bed and cradling his head in his hands. There's no telling how long this assignment is going to last, how long he'll have to contend with his feelings and try not to make a fool of himself.

Graves thinks of your face, of the way you had looked up at him in the shop. You'd look so good with your lips wrapped around his cock, staring up at him with those beautiful fucking eyes of yours.

He groans, feeling the familiar tightness at his zipper, almost painful until he frees himself with a hiss.

"Fuck-" Graves grazes his fingertips over his length, pausing at the tip to swipe the pad of his thumb over the beads of precum collecting there.

He moans your name, hips bucking into the friction of his own hand, his mind conjuring up all the ways he would fuck you; all the ways he would make you his.

His hand isn't enough.

Graves rolls onto his stomach, the waistline of his jeans just low enough to expose him entirely. He grasps desperately, hands fumbling until he finds a pillow and jams it roughly between himself and the bed.

"Fuck, baby, that's it," it's not you, it's not the same, but the sensation is enough for now.

Graves grinds himself so lewdly he should be embarrassed, humping his pillow like a horny teenager, thinking of you. He moans loudly, the sound echoing in the empty room, as he ruts into the fabric like an animal.

He thinks of you. Of your scent, your smile, the way you say his name. He'd give anything to hear you cry it out while pinned beneath him, to have you come undone entirely because of him.

Graves braces his hand on the mattress, panting as he fucks into the fabric, his hips rolling in rhythmic thrusts as he chases his peak.

"So good," he's babbling now, his mind racing to envision you taking his cock, tight and fucking perfect, "m'gonna- gonna cum-"

Graves tumbles over the edge, crying out your name as he spills hot spurts of cum onto the pillow; his hips stutter out one final thrust until he's spent, panting into the mattress in the pressing quiet of his hotel room.

Graves rolls over, laying an arm over his chest as he tries to catch his breath. He stares at the ceiling, trying to imagine what it must be like to have you in an intimate moment like this, to have you soaked in sweat and curled into his embrace.

He tries to make peace with never knowing.

[starzzmissthesun]

i think you should totally drop whatever hc/ideas you have lying around honestly...i would love to see more into ur brain...pls <33

:DD

Hi!!!! Sorry this is a little late, I got so distracted with an animatic im working on(😈) and then a stupid essay😭😭 being honest rn... Almost all of what I've been thinking about is my fic.. 😔

But!! I can still go a little into that without spoilers. I've finally figured out The Perfect ending for this story that I feel fits with the overarching themes I wanted to tell. I've been making sure that every little detail fits with the themes I wanted to show, I wanted it to overlap Regulus and barty's characters and their overarching themes with PD. I also didn't want to just replicate PD cause I feel like that doesnt have the depth or commentary I want to out into it. Idk ive always thought it's super fun to put everything as some sort of symbol or metaphor or foreshadowing. I'm like literally so close to being done drafting and then I can actually talk about it a little more😭

Anyways! I've also been thinking about barty post regs death 😔(when am I not) But more specifically how every memory he had would almost be tainted, everything now would have an air of questioning and unsureness. Even memories where Regulus isn't there, just wondering where was he? What was he thinking? Am I remembering this right? What could've I changed? What was the domino that caused all of this to happen? Eventually finding it hard to accept the way it really was, having the "I guess it was" and feeling it, but overintellectualizing it. His logic and reasoning is his downfall in this situation, that's what makes him go crazy. (Side note I NEED to make a little post about his intersection between intelligence and madness) Hes doing a complicated version of when there's a task that seems so simple that you think it's a trick, but it's not, it's just that. What happened with Regulus was just that.

Also, I've recently self reflected and realized that a lot of my barty characterization is similar to how I think of Leonard Cohen's art(who I LOVE LOVE LOVE) Idk if you've listened to him or read any of his work, but I HIGHLY suggest it, it's perfect for fall. Anyways, a lot of his songs and poems carry themes of having a twisted self image, not completely self deprication though it may seem, but something else. It's closer to understanding and knowing that you are. Different. And unconventional. It's an uncomfortablility he has with himself. Being soemthig twisted from what you should've been. A lot of his stuff is also to do with tragically losing someone, out of their own choice, and still feeling very loyal yet bitter. Also of loving something so much that it turns dark, or it goes too quick, it spirals. Also his love songs are very barty's perspective on bartylus to me. And like, obvious war mentions. I could give some specific recs similar to barty or them if you'd like.

Another thing is of Regulus and his relationship with his dad. Though I see it completely reasonable if his dad was just kind of, not there and neglectful, it could give very interesting implications to his character, I like it the other way around. Orion seeing what a more carefree attempt at raising a child does and keeping Regulus even closer than he did before. I think Orion always liked Regulus more, despite him being the second, because he was a model son. I don't think he wanted this life or even to have kids, so Regulus being so complacent and in line with what he was supposed to be as a pure blood made him the decided favourite(as much as he could have one). He was always keeping a close eye on Regulus and he could feel it, but he didn't do anything out of place anyways. Orion could tell when he was even thinking something he wasn't supposed to. I believe that, no matter how much she tried, walpurga was too caught in her own head about her duty as a mother to see S+R as anything other than Her Kids, as property that she was supposed to care for and tend to, she obviously loved them, but couldn't see through them. But Orion was there around every corner looking through regulus' eyes into his soul to search for any thing out of his perfect kid.

Anyways.... That's all I can think of rn😭 but if you have questions about ANY of them lmk!!! I love yapping about my little thoughts 😁😁

[boneyspades]

GUYS I CANNOT HOLD IT IN ANYMORE I MUST TISM. I MUST RANT. I MUST EXPRESS MYSELF. I MUST GNAW MYSELF OUT OF MY ENCLOSURE

here are some of my Orange side ideas or predictions or whatever. now let me cook chat. (also I'm kinda just making this before the season finale cus Thomas said he was working on it

imma put a cw here for mentions of religion, so if you don't wanna see that then U don't have to read this lmao

ok so imma kinda categorise this in different categories I guess and I'll try my best to be short and sweet about it whilst also kinda just like... explain my reasoning? (edit: I failed. DW I highlighted the main points just in case U don't wanna read all that)

what I think the side represents

what he looks like(aesthetic?)

powers???

personality? what he's gon be like?

what's his intentions??

and idk just other things I think of on the way

What does this fuck head represent in Thomas?

I think this just goes without saying but like imma say Rage or Wrath. I remember these mfs on yt (can't remember the name) saying they predict it was gonna be rage and honestly it would be so fitting.

like fr, Logan literally SNAPPING at Remus cus he wasn't being listened to and his eyes TURNING ORANGE?

Thomas being MAD at Niko to the point where he was gonna UNALIVE THE FAKE NIKO that Remus conjured up to fuck with Thomas?!

THOMAS'S JUST BEING MAD AT NIKO IN GENERAL FOR NOT ANSWERING HIM?!?!

ROMAN AT THE END OF SVS REDUX?!?!?!? BITCH WE KNOW WHATS COMING!!!!!

its just UUUUUGH I WANT THEM TO BE HAPPY BUT I LOVE THEIR INNER TURMOIL

how many stars am I gonna give him in dress to impress (aesthetics??? traits??? idk)

ok so I kinda was not quite sure about this one for a bit but then I remembered the dark sides, Remus and Janus's specifically (and I guess Patton too but like he's a "light" side but just hear me out) have had religion tied into them in some way; Janus kinda being inspired by the snake at the tree of life and even said himself "what am I doing here, am I the SNAKE COME TO TRICK YOU INTO SINNING?".(was gonna get video reference but apparently I can't have more than one video. sucks)

Remus is I guess religiously tied, using alot of religious language to mess with Thomas... like... alot...

Patton kinda just looks like a religious dad whose marriage is crumbling apart. but I think someone said that he also represents his Catholic guilt??? tho I could be wrong, I don't remember, but it fits considering he's literally the opposite of janus.

BUT ANYWAYS..... i think, clothing wise, orange could potentially dress as a priest??? or like a leader of a cult?? think robes and stuff. I mostly think of The One Who Waits from cult of the lamb or even the lamb itself since like... a the leader of the cult-... speaking of lambs. i think everyone's well aware that all the sides have a physical trait of some kind, something they take the form of I guess;

Logan= teacher

Roman= prince

Patton= dad

Virgil= (emo) spider? cat?? idk???

Janus= snake obvi

Remus= a duke and Cthulhu for some reason?

and now hear me out:

Orange= LAMB OR GOAT???!!!

correct me if I'm wrong but lambs and goats have been tied to religion alot (also I saw someone say lamb or goat as well and I think it would be so fucking cool), but if not, I have two other ideas... hear me out...

AN ANGEL?!?!

A BIBLICALLY ACCURATE ANGEL?!?!

NO CUS LIKE THEY LOOK SPOOKY ALREADY, IMAGINE IF LIKE HE WAS JUST OFF PUTTING PHYSICALLY AND PERSONALITY WISE. and also tying with with religion too

and the third, and this one is just cus I like robot characters BUT HEAR ME OUT! a specific genre of robot like GLaDOS from portal, AM from I have no mouth and I must scream (idk I haven't played the game), Cyn from murder drones, deviants in general from detroit become human. what do they have in common? (probably Ive only indulged in 3/4 medias mentioned)

FILLED. WITH. RAGE. OR. JUST. ABSOLUTELY. POWER. HUNGRY!!!!!

I feel like orange would be the mf to try and control all the sides. and just idk the fact that alot of these SciFi robot media have something to do with robots and are just filled with so much anger and hate for someone or people. idk just a silly thing I thought of.

what powers can this little bitch do

ok so I think everyone already knows that the sides have inhuman abilities (cus they aren't human but like anyways) like for example:

they can all shapeshift

they can mimic other peoples voices which I think is THE COOLEST THING EVER

they can I guess teleport??? does sinking down and rising up count as teleporting???

and I guess make Thomas see things that I guess aren't there? bitch idk

but I also do think that the sides all have INDIVIDUAL abilities only they can do:

janus can sense any lies coming from the sides (at least I think so)

Patton can turn into a frog for some reason? is there an explanation for that tho cus like?- (it's cool af tho)

I think Roman and Remus are the only ones that can conjure things up outside the MindPalace correct me if I'm wrong

Remus can give Thomas and the sides hallucinations or intrusive thoughts (cus... yk... that's what he is)

virgil can control SHADOWS?!? WHAT A FUCKING BADASS

Logan can speak through Thomas (like during Moving On part 2)

but what about orange you may ask. lets go over the obvious one first:

the ability to make a side let out any repressed anger I guess?

or I guess make a side get like... REALLY pissed off or something idk

I won't really go in depth with that one cus I think everyone knows that, but this next one I STRONGLY feel for. HERE ME OUT.

POSSESION.

now I think this will be different from how orange used his other power on Logan. BUT. the way I see it, I think that the orange side would have the ability to take FULL control of a side based on how much anger or negative feelings they're feeling, ykwim? and, now here me out, in return, kind of nullifies the effects that side has on Thomas. like for example, say Patton is all angy. bro is mayor of Angyvile. U went into an angy competition and you see Patton? you lost, bitch. anyways, the orange side, would have the ability to just be like possess him like a fucking demon. because of this, Thomas would feel less empathy, emotions, etc, because Patton is basically that. but I feel it'd look alot different than what we saw in WTIT, cus Logan was still in control of himself. but like I want it to look CREEPY AF. MAKE THEM DO SPOOKY THINGS, THOMAS. MAKE THEM LOOK POSSESSED, NOT THAT FUCKING "heh, finally. feels so good to be free 🐺😈💪💔⛓️" NO. MAKE THEM LOOK LIKE THEY'VE GOT SATAN CONTROLLING THAT BITCH. I WANT MORE SPOOKY. I also think he'd use this ability on Logan the most for obvious reasons

personality or something idk

alright so I feel like this one will be alot shorter than my other points, but personality wise... I WANT HIM TO BE A FUCKING ASSHOLE. I WANT HIM TO BE MEAN. I WANT HIM TO BE TERRIFYING, PSYCHOLOGICALLY.

I want him to be SO FUCKING MANIPULATIVE DAWG. i literally think that wrath could be the leader of the dark sides and be the one that makes Virgil (pre AA), Remus and even Janus fall for a fake sense of security whilst also using them for his personal gain and his personal gain ALONE. I want him to be a terrifying side, cus yeah, the dark sides are scary but they've been proven to not be as scary as they seem:

virgil (pre AA) was always seen as scary but even in the episode with Superwoman (aka his first appearance) it's shown that he is easy to manage. and even during and after AA, all he wanted was to protect Thomas and help him. he was just basically misunderstood

Janus is a kinda harder one to explain, but I guess its similar to virgil. all he wanted was Thomas to do something for himself (go to the callback) and practice self care, but because he is the embodiment of Deceit, he kinda just is seen as a purely bad thing. Thomas says it say better at the end of SVS redux.

Remus I feel is alot different. he's a fucking asshole cus he wants to be, he's not all "I want Thomas to just be happy and I want to do what's best for him" NO. he wants to make Thomas's life HELL, or just turn him into a professional people opener. BUT, in DWIT, Logan has proven that Intrusive thoughts can be dealt with and that they're not as scary as Thomas thinks.

I want orange to be so terrifying as a concept that not even Logan can make an argument where Thomas can deal with him. I want him to be so fucking bad that not even Patton wants to be his friend. but like make him a silly guy :) (also I feel like the orange side and Remus would be besties)

what does this bitch WAAAANT

ok so this one will be quite short. but I feel like the orange side would want Thomas to live a life where he takes revenge on the people who have wronged him. maybe try to make Thomas into a professional people opener. that's why I think orange and Remus would get along so well. if rage blinds morality and logic, then Intrusive thoughts can become reality. thats what I think at least. I feel like the orange side would try and trap the other sides and repress them somehow, except Remus and Janus.

ok that's it

[spidernuggets]

Oh my gosh! THANK YOU! Fics of Jason Todd, Jason Freakin Todd using the readers body as no more than a slab of meat, saying horrendous things to her, her being no more than a hole for him to spill into. Some of the fics-like firstly are y'all okay!? And secondly you could offer him the Jokers head or a million dollars he's not going to disgrace your body if he's with you he values you, sorry lol

I'm not a maniac I understand the concept of fiction, write what you wanna write but for some characters that just doesn't make sense

On another note and in all seriousness some smut fics make me genuinely concerned and perplexed, writer will be like 16/17/18 saying things about themselves that sound like they came straight out of the mouth of a porn-addicted-woman hating-misogynistic who believes all females are the devil and need to be lobotomised via his penis. Like miss girl I understand your brain isn't fully developed yet but yikes

ABSOLUTELY FACTS ANON!!!

I had this sorta general convo with a friend, not necessarily on Jason Todd, but where I draw the line at dark fics.

But knowing Jason Todd, he would NOT participate in any of these dark fics. Like no the fuck he would NOT plant cameras in your bathroom without you knowing or put his cock in your mouth while youre sleeping??

like if you're into that shit, i dont really care, you do you. And ik this sounds like gatekeeping, and jason is a fictional character bUT PLS. Even ooc asshole HBO live action Red Hood Jason Todd wouldn't do fucked up shit like that.

and ive seen like a misogynistic Jason Todd?? Like no hate to the writer, yous have like really good writing skills!! but Jason would have like an immense amount of respect to women. Like idm the degration kink that people write for him, but sometimes it could be taken a little too far...

But even when he was in a romantic relationship, like Artemis or Rose, he's shown to actually value them as a person.

Seeing as he's spent so long making amends wjth Bruce, even when they still domt see eye to eye, if he were to be in a relationship, mans would be fucking paranoid that he's still the crime lord he was resurrected as. He'd be doing more than the bare minimum to make sure you're comfortable in a relationship. And i think if you were into that dark shit, he'd be uncomfortable with it, knowing he doesn't have your verbal consent to do anything to you because he wouldn't want to hurt you

idk, again, I know jason todd isnt a real person, and I may be gatekeeping n shit, but it is kind of fucked up in my view that people would hc Jason doing dark things when he's someone who has experienced dark things...

[yawneneteyam]

gorgeous (7) — look at your face.

— GORGEOUS, an avatar smau ( by yawneneteyam ) masterlist

*dark mode = y/n light mode = neteyam*

— gorgeous, look at your face !

y/n didn't really want to meet up with neteyam today, still revelling in her heartbreak from the night before. she had never been able to handle rejection well, especially not from the man she had been slightly obsessing over for the past month almost. she felt like the thrill had expired, that life had come to give her a rude wake up call and neteyam friend zoning her was the alarm.

she knew that it would be unfair to not study with neteyam just because of her silly crush, so she picked herself up, brushed herself off and headed to the library to meet neteyam.

he could tell that something was off with y/n. she wasn't smiling as much as usual, her cheeks were blushing like they usually did when they spoke. she seemed less invested in their conversations today, as if today was a chore for her- maybe it was.

"are you feeling okay?" he couldn't help his curiosity. y/n only looked up briefly to meet his eyes before looking back down at her notebook.

"yeah," she nodded with pursed lips, "just tired," a lie.

"do you feel sick still?" he was concerned, neteyam knew that she was in a bad state last night- he wondered if she was feeling worse throughout the day. he knew hangovers could come with vengeance.

"uh, yeah a little bit," y/n shrugged it off.

that was how they sat for the next hour. neteyam trying his best to speak to y/n, her responding with short sentences. neteyam was lots of things, beautiful, kind and completely oblivious. so he chalked her bad mood up to drinking too much the night before and a sore stomach or pounding headache.

"neteyam!" y/n couldn't help but turn around upon hearing such a loud voice in a quiet space. a'korai walked over to the pair at the table.

"hey," neteyam kept his voice down still, considerate of their environment, "what's up?"

"just came over to see you," she smiled. y/n had never seen this girl before, but they way she ignored her presence already had her first impressions ruined. neteyam noticed her ignorance towards y/n, so he tried to do what he did best- make peace.

"a'korai, this is y/n" neteyam smiled. a'korai finally shot a glance in y/n's direction.

"hi," she smiled briefly.. and that was it, she was back talking to neteyam. y/n listened to their conversation with a sigh, tapping her pencil on the table impatiently, waiting for this random girl to get the hint. it was already bad having to see neteyam after being friend zoned by him, but to watch some pretty girl throw herself all over him was a punch to the face.

"it's getting late," y/n interrupted getting up from her seat, "I better go get dinner from the hall before they pack it away," she shoved her things away into her backpack. neteyam looked up at y/n with an apologetic gaze, knowing they didn't get as much done as they would've liked. "see you later, neteyam" she walked away.

neteyam sighed with his eyes closed, y/n had already walked away before he could even say goodbye to her. left with a'korai talking to him when he wished it was another.

— gorgeous, look at your face ! okay we're back!! trying to do daily-ish updates, so every day or every other day a update will be posted for you guys!! idk if anyone actually reads my lil notes at the end, but thats okay! ive also put out a poll about blurring y/n's face and currently blurring is winning, so thats what I've done for this chapter! go vote if you want a say!

[mrstellmeafuckingsecret]

okay need to say that i'm addicted to your intro post.... sirius is brat & u get it. also rosebitchkiller?????? your mind. you've opened my eyes to something. pls yap on it

hi i literally love you youre so cool SO

this made me think bc i usually think of them in a au-ed world ? not a canon thing. but i like making canon things. sawr.

established rosekiller

rosekiller isnt exclusive exclusive . theyre like friends w benefits atp

evan's had a crush on sirius since he like saw him and it never went away

barty thought regulus was cool and when he met sirius he started harboring a small obsession over him

evan and barty are toxic and bad-with-feelings and just generally horrible people (x) and they fight a lot and break up a LOT

while the prank is happening in the marauders' pov, evan and barty break up

sirius comes home for christmas that year even though he usually spends it at hogwarts and barty is haha also there

-i feel like sirius def pities barty. i mean he does canonically yes, but in-school, he just sees a kid who fucking hates his stuck up dad with stupid high expectations who's never content? that w how he hates regulus and projects his worry for regulus onto barty is .

barty gets Attention from Cool Older Brother who's all suave and idgaf and mean and his little obsession turns bigger

sirius "ive never seen healthy forms of romantic love" black is . relishing in barty's obsession.

he hates barty obviously, because what's a good kid doing hanging out w dark art kids ?? but like also Mmm Attention <3

when he's not with his mother, he's with barty

they also like fuck btw like yuckily too bc theyre fucked up

(this all happens over the . like . two week? idk/ christmas break)

when they get back to hogwarts - that's when things get interesting

rosekiller get into a rather violent fight bc evan is like "not only did you commit to another person, its SIRIUS BLACK????"

(barty did not commit . but thats for the bitchkiller post.)

and while this little thing is going on the marauders have healed and sirius is like "bartemius who 💀💀"

uh barty is Angry and Evan is kind of jealous and kind of relieved and kind of horny

evan and barty competing w each other to get sirius' attention

(barty usually gets it, but like it's nothing special)

(the sexual tension is great on e&b's part sirius is just "what do these horny fucks want")at

uhh it turns into three-way flirting

also i didnt metnion but like all three of them HATE each other like evan finds barty obnoxious and sirius a faker (he loves them both) sirius finds evan ew because dark arts and barty a loser because... well. he is. and barty finds them both irritating but unfortunately the pinnacles of male beauty (hes really horny i fear)

uhh smoothly turns into a threesome by the very end of sirius' fifth year

sirius runs away over the summer

back at hogwarts, he doesnt really want to go back to that weird toxic-threesome-thing he had w rosekiller because, again, he doesnt really like them and they dont really like him and they dont even really like each other and maybe sirius likes someone else? remus or james or whoever? and sirius wants to build Healthy relationships?

sirius clings to james a more at the start of hogwarts (naturally) and barty is who sirius is more averse to talking to because he's usually harsher and gets angry easier and is less easier to intimidate

so evan and sirius talk a bit, for once, like have. real conversations. and get to know each other.

sirius has a buzzcut btw (i have STRONG feelings about this) so evan gets one too

evan is Weird and knows in detail about very obscure things and sirius is and always has been attracted to knowledge. while w barty it was more of a debate thing, w evan he can just spill information and listen to evan's too without it being competitive

also evan is more of a bitch so sirius doesnt deem him a threat to his mental health

ALSO !!! barty flips between hypersexual and sex repulsed like a light switch so evan and sirius are used to fucking, like just the two of them, a lot

but barty has fomo so they dont really hangout alone yk

oh and also barty and sirius dont really 'hangout' alone either because evan is very possessive

uhh but like yes they fuck again

its a not-really-friends with benefits situation

no feelings involved !! haha !!

till evan gets the dark mark :3

(barty does too, but sirius doesnt know)

umm !! big !! fight

theyre very violent i didnt mention this but rosekiller have BLOODY fights. sirius isnt very prone to throwing a punch, he usually does enough damage by his tongue alone, but like he gets dragged into it sometimes

(and then JAMES gets involved too because of course he does...)

but like this fight is final and sirius is like "why are you guys even upset were just fucking 💀💀"

and uh btw barty and evan litr never stopped being obsessed w sirius and are just now realizing that sirius just does not gaf like FR how down bad they are (sirius doesnt know theyre like fr in love but like it wouldnt make a difference sawr)

uhh yeah so sirius breaks it off

and barty and evan are like fuck him

but also like i miss fucking him 💔💔

wait a minute we could just ... fuck eachother

for ever

hence rosekiller is birthed

then sirius graduates and literally never thinks about them again

well maybe he does

but only like "god they fucked good i need dick rn" and "i still scars on my waist tf"

and barty and evan are like resentful but also like ugh he doesnt gaf... thats so hot... but also like they found someone who matched their freak (each other) so theyre content

yerp

i hope this makes sense ☹️💔