#maladaptive daydreaming help

[monsterkin-culture-is]

How do you know for sure if you have MD? I'm like, 99% sure I have it as I'm constantly daydreaming to the point it disrupts my life occasionally. But I'm just hesitant on that label as I don't know too much about it and don't know where to begin researching it.

Hiya Anon! I'm so sorry for the delay replying, unfortunately I only saw this whilst I was heading to college. This might end up a bit of a ramble but I'm going to at least attempt to organise it.

Diagnosis Talk:

MD is difficult in the fact that it's not a fully recognised disorder yet so there's no DSM-5 etc to use as a diagnostic guide.

Personally, I would consider it maladaptive once it's becoming a negative experience. This could look like: struggling to complete schoolwork/homework or chores because you can't stop daydreaming, losing time in your day-to-day life, losing information in class/meetings and becoming disconnected from/losing interest in your social life & family. In addition, it can also be the content of the daydreams becoming disturbing or causing you emotional distress when something negative happens in the plotline. That part isn't discussed as much but it's something I personally experience; e.g if a character dies in-story/scenario, I actually cry & genuinely grieve them for a while (sometimes a day, sometimes a fortnight for me). This isn't an exhaustive list nor is it a criteria where you need every single one, it's just what 'maladaptive' can look like.

The difference with immersive daydreaming is that it only happens when the person wants and it's purely for enjoyment.

There is an evaluative tool known as the MDS-16 (MDS meaning maladaptive daydreaming scale). I'll link this for you lower down in the research section!

When it comes to questioning, my #1 piece of advice would be don't stress. That's much easier said than done, but it's important to remember nothing will happen if you're wrong. If you mislabel it, no one is going to be upset. With maladaptive daydreaming, because it's unrecognised, there's even less pressure with self-diagnosis and there's no criteria you have to match. It's a label used to describe an experience. It's also important to remember that imposter syndrome is very common in all disorders & disabilities, physical and psychological, even after diagnosis.

Research Resources:

Eli Somer is the main researcher for Maladaptive Daydreaming and is the original creator of the term back in 2002. You can find some of his papers linked at the bottom of the Maladaptive Daydreaming Wikipedia Page as references (which I also recommend flicking through).

The MDS-16 is a self-assessment tool made by Somer & his associates. You can take it here on traumadissociation.com but other PDF versions are available on the internet. It has 16 questions and the result is the mean of your answers.

This is the official website for The International Consortium For Maladaptive Daydreaming Research. The ICMDR are an informal group of scientists conducting group research on MD. Their site hosts a lot of their research and resources to help you with MD.

The Parallel Lives Podcast is a great way to hear other people's experiences with MD (link leads to spotify).

Honestly I haven't read any papers on MD (I probably should) so don't worry about not doing enough research. I do recommend the MDS-16 especially though as it will help you reflect on the traits of MD you possess.

I hope some of this was helpful anon!! Feel free to send anymore questions you have through, hopefully I'll be able to respond a little quicker this time!! You're also welcome to talk about your experiences more. My DMs are open if you ever need to talk more privately. /gen /nf

[maddgical-boy]

here's a little reminder that no one can read your mind or see your "weird" or "bad" thoughts and daydreams! mind readers are not real, and your inner world is entirely private. your thoughts and daydreams are not embarrassing or bad, and they do not define your morality!

everyone who keeps saying shit like "sounds like something a mind reader would say" or "mind readers are real actually" i will eat you to death and enjoy every minute of it. not the time or place

[everybodyhatesmiddleschool]

It has been six excruciating days since I was plunged into the Bridgerton fandom against my will.

I was minding my own business, watching YouTube compilations of the best kisses in TV history, when I unwittingly clicked on a video about Colin and Penelope, and I was immediately down so bad for them.

Let me be clear: Bridgerton was not part of my life before I clicked on that video. I wanted nothing to do with it; I had no intention of ever watching or reading that smut. And then, without warning, it swept in and took me in the night, much like Colin Bridgerton in the back of a carriage.

To say I have been lost in the sauce these past six days would be a gross understatement. The carriage scene is literally ruining my life. I haven’t gone to sleep before 1 a.m. since Sunday, and I have been over an hour late to work every day. Why? Because I cannot stop consuming that godforsaken scene — watching gifs of it over and over, reading y’all’s hilarious takes and memes about it, watching it with the audio descriptions turned on (🥵), watching it with the music removed (🥵🥵), watching Luke and Nicola on their press tour, watching, watching, watching.

Have I started actually watching season 1 of the show? Of course. Did I check out the large-print version of the first book from the library since it was the only copy available? You bet. But I do not care about these other characters and storylines. I want it to be Colin and Penelope on the screen and the page in every sentence and every scene.

And either fortunately or unfortunately, I don’t even have to be looking at a screen to be distracted by them — my daydreaming has never been as maladaptive in my life as it has been this week. I can hardly think of one ten-minute stretch in the past six days in which some imaginary scenario has not been taking over my brain. I want to be part of their world so bad — not just Bridgerton, but Shondaland. As is the case for 90% of all of my daydreams, I want these actors to know I exist. I want them to look at me with just as much awe and love as I look at them. So I might be staring at my computer screen in my cubicle, but in my mind, I’m on a press tour of my own that intersects with theirs. (I’m never the desperate fan with no life in my dreams; my idols always see me as their equal). I might be driving my commute in my car, but in my mind, they’re congratulating me about my own novel being optioned by Netflix. I might be brushing my teeth in my bathroom, but in my mind, we’re laughing together on Graham Norton’s couch.

But Lord, here comes that freaking carriage scene once again, inserting itself into my mind (pun unavoidable). I cannot get over it. I’m so stuck there that I’ve found myself wearing shoes I don’t remember putting on, carrying coffee mugs I don’t remember putting in my bag, driving a speed limit I don’t remember agreeing to as acceptable. There is laundry that needs to be folded. Bills need to be paid. Emails need to be deleted en masse without reading. But I can’t find the door that will let me out of this damn carriage.

I had a conversation with myself two days ago about how we might be able to adapt to this new living situation. After a few temper tantrums, I finally said, “Girl, if you’re going to watch this scene 1,000 times, you have got to find a way to make it a constructive part of your life.” So I did what any rational adult would do: I started writing a scholarly paper about why it’s so powerful — not just for me but, according to the internet, for a lot of women. And I have every intention of writing an entire paper about this … if I can find the time. I’m just so busy right now with consuming this damn scene.

Was starting to write that article enough to satiate my obsession with this scene, with this show and these actors? Of course not. So this morning, I started writing a spicy scene of my own, featuring not Colin and Penelope but two other vaguely outlined characters who I’m sure I’ll give names and personalities to later. I was literally sitting in my cubicle, hunched over my planner, writing down snippets of sexiness in as small a print as possible in case someone walked up on me and looked over my shoulder without me noticing. And I’m not gonna lie: this shit’s good. I’ve never written smut before, because I’ve never had enough spice in my own life to feel like I’d be able to do it justice on paper. But that imagination of mine — she’s a freak. And my mind? My mind has moved way past the gutter. It is now in the outhouse. It’s in the slop with the pigs.

It should have come as no surprise, but as usual, the act of actually writing down the jumble of mess in my brain has had the effect of breaking some of the spell. I was also forced to focus on work because of looming deadlines, and I currently feel calmer than I have since Sunday. But I am truly living in fear of June 13. I cannot go through this again, and I know that I’m bound to, because I know that what’s been shown so far won’t hold a candle to what’s coming. And if I get down bad any further, I will be deep enough in the ground for this to become my final resting place. I’m not ready to be buried, but it feels inevitable.

But somehow, despite my own wants and fears, and despite the fact that we haven’t even been introduced yet to the bedroom where Colin and Penelope are sure to end up, I am somehow already lurking from behind the window curtains in the corner, peeking out at them doing the deed. I know what I hope I’ll see: based on the excerpt I’ve seen from the book, they will be in front of a mirror — expressly because Colin wants Penelope to see herself in full for the glorious goddess she is, and she will look at her sexy, bare self with just as much pride and love as we viewers behind the screen will (but probably with slightly less lust than Colin, who I pray will be very loud about how hot she is).

I am dreaming about this scene, but I dread it. Because if it’s as good as the carriage scene, I will immediately be re-enscripted and sent right back to the trenches where I spent the last six days. I’m excited, but I’m scared. And I’m afraid of getting lost in the woods again, because I know that if I do, I won’t want to be found.

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

So, I did a Maladaptive daydreaming and this is what I got:

If anyone doesn’t know what Maladaptive daydreaming means, it’s a very intense daydream that can feel real and can be an escape from reality. You can even daydream about fictional characters(at least I do).

If anyone wants to or is interested in taking the quiz, I’ll link it below:

I meant to spell it Maladaptive

Oopsie

[scrapsovereign]

I clocked out yesterday after a brutal day at work and wondered what I’m doing with my life.

Can I please instead have a different job? Like being sequestered to a hidden room in a palace for a decade and be bred have my every want and need catered to, living only to pleasure my evil vampire lord husband?

Or starting a new life in Waterdeep with my vampire boyfriend at our wizard bestie’s house while we cuck him help him research a way to walk in the sun again?

Both are perfectly acceptable options.

[elicathebunny]

HOW TO REDUCE MALADAPTIVE DREAMING.

(suggestion post)

I have actually experienced this since the age of around 9 or 10 years and only managed to reduce and basically almost get rid of it after 5 or 6 years. I am no doctor or professional, so all of this is just by experience mixed with online research.

WHAT IS MALADAPTIVE DAYDREAMING?

Maladaptive daydreaming is a mental health issue that causes a person to lose themselves in complex daydreams. These daydreams are usually a coping mechanism for other mental health conditions or circumstances. It's common — but not required — for people who have this to have a history of childhood trauma or abuse.

SYMPTOMS:

Extensive, sometimes compulsive, absorption in fantasy for several hours a day

Inability to stop daydreaming

Having very detailed fantasies, including plot lines and characters

Having real-life reactions to fantasies, like facial expressions, body movements, or verbalizations

Difficulty concentrating or focusing on other things

Sleep problems (especially falling asleep)

Replacing human interaction

The urge to continue fantasizing when interrupted

In some cases, maladaptive daydreaming can also be characterized by the need for additional stimulation, which can be expressed through extensive book-reading, watching films, or gaming.

TRIGGERS:

some of the triggers may include listening to music on headphones, watching movies, and hearing specific conversation topics.

In addition to processing trauma, other causes of maladaptive daydreaming include:

Wish fulfillment

Entertainment (regulating boredom or isolation)

Regulating distress

MY EXPERIENCE: I would spend hours upon hours with storylines that I have had for years. Those stories gave me comfort and I would get lost in the experience of daydreaming. I would even put on music to put myself deeper in my thoughts and would get irritated if someone ruined my thought process by speaking to me. I realised it was a problem when I began to randomly fall into my daydreams without much control. Simple thinking turned into detailed storylines and I would constantly seem lost in thought and lose track of time. This obviously isn't helpful when you have important things to do when you need to focus. I would try to stop daydreaming but would always catch myself doing it because it become normal to me. All the characters and scenarios in my head represented me parts of me that I wish I was in real life, or even things I wanted to happen in my life. Sometimes the dreams happened so frequently that I couldn't differentiate between my memories and dreams. Before I acknowledged it as a problem I never actually wanted to get rid of it, such a big part of me would be lost. I had been daydreaming for such a long time that I became emotionally attached to the characters I had made.

WHAT HELPED ME:

Doing things that take up a lot of brain power and time: e.g. Doing a workout, Dancing, or Solving a difficult equation.

This gives you 0 time to even think about anything, let alone daydream. Go out with your friends, and force yourself into situations that require you to use your full attention. Because I never really went out much or did anything frequent enough to take up my day, I had too much time to myself and became stuck in my own head. Doing things and picking up extracurriculars, ANYTHING will help.

Because I am no longer at home as much as I used to and interact/learn new skills much more than I did before. I simply do not have time to be in my own head, I forced myself to learn to get out of my head and achieve the things I would daydream about.

I am now engaging in improving myself instead of dreaming about the version of myself/life I wanted so badly. Those dreams and characters were just glamorised versions of deep-rooted emotions I had left without facing them. Uncovering the true meaning of why I daydream and the details of the things I was daydreaming about will help you get out of the daze.

NOTES I'VE FOUND ON QUORA:

ONE:

Open up. Speak about it to others. Express yourself. There is nothing to be ashamed of. You need not share your daydreams, just share that you daydream. It's okay.

Write your daydreams down, or type them out… whatever. Get them out of you to have a better look. They are trying to tell you something about yourself. Have you ever noticed that you can't completely control your daydreams? And when you do try to change something critical in your plot it just doesn't “feel right”?

Boil them down to mere feelings. Strip away all the illusory layers of good looks, grand mansions, heroic acts and so on. The truth lies in key moments where the characters feel something deeply for each other. Find those feelings, and question the difference between you and your characters. Ask what is blocking you from experiencing them for yourself.

Realize that you are the reality, not your characters. If you imagine a nobleman or a beautiful girl, it is your nobility and beauty that you impart to those. All your characters are merely objects animated by the light of your imagination and feelings.

Understand that all your daydreams have nothing to do with others, and everything to do with you, and your relationship with yourself. When you realize this, you stop comparing them with your real-world relationships and start relating them to various aspects of yourself.

Know that when you successfully come out of this, you will actually not lose the ability to daydream or run out of feelings to pour into your imagination. It is just that their purpose will have been served, and you will not resort to daydreaming again out of lack or compulsion. You may at any point daydream again and even use it as a tool to know what your Soul is trying to tell you. Yet, you will realize that a moment of self-awareness is more rewarding than a lifetime of daydreams.

TWO:

Here are some serious tips to avoid them:

First of all, make sure you really want to get rid of this, because a lot of MDers get emotionally attached to their imaginary characters.

Disable /avoid the triggers. Block YouTube if you have to. Those websites you visit. The images saved on your computer - delete them. Plenty of apps for that.

This might be rude, but start avoiding the topics or the friends who keep discussing these topics.

Get busy doing something else - take up a hobby, meet new people. Try to stay in public places or with other people. Plenty to do in life other than dreaming.

Avoid that one music/ song that acts as a trigger.

DO I STILL MD? Yea sometimes, but now It is an okay amount. It doesn't consume my life anymore.

[maddgical-boy]

my daydreams about my paracosms' stories are just ~5 big events and then my brain is like "okay so then what happens, like, in between those?" and i bluescreen

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

Will never understand the use or appeal of character ai

like genuine question... can you not just imagine that?

like within your mind's eye?

In terms of aphantasia I can understand, but aphantasia effects external material too, like not being able to visualize fanfiction or ai writing either. As they completely lack a minds eye with any kind of literature.

So like, that aside - can you genuinely not imagine it yourself?

Is it that difficult? To just sit there and imagine it?

Why must you resort to a machine in order to do that?

They can say comforting words-

Okay, but can you imagine them saying comforting words without the assistance of an AI? Yes? So - What's the problem?

Why take advantage of systems you know infringe on and endanger many people and careers, when you can literally just sit there and do nothing and get the same experience

By imagining it.

Imagining things and daydreaming deliberately is not a bad thing or inferior to works feed to you. In fact, they can have even more of an impact as they are personalized to you.

If your imagination or creativity is not strong enough and you are aware of that - even more reason to actively try to strengthen it.

Imagination of nonexistent scenarios contribute directly to the ability of forethought and critical thinking. The more you go out of your way to imagine things, the more you'll see possibilities and solutions in real life you wouldn't have before.

The more you are able to visualize things without assistance, you become more able to practice compassion and empathy.

Because you don't need to be shown/live something directly to understand or put yourself in said situation.

Ones imagination is a very vital thing, not just to ones creativity - but to their wellbeing, critical thinking, and memory.

You are better off just imagining it, truly.

Instead of restoring to the convenient option of using technologies that you know can harm people IN THE NOW.

Like - yes, you wanna hear Hobie say 'I love you'. - Close your eyes and imagine it bro.

Free and you can do it anywhere. As far as we know we're the only mammals on Earth capable of this gift.

You don't need to use AI character voices that are actively putting voice actors out of their jobs.

You DON'T NEED character ai chat bots that write fanfic for you when writers are STILL STRIKING because large studios want to use the SAME technology you're using for the SAME purpose.

The more you interact with these bots and technology, the smarter and more advanced they become. They learn with every interaction. The more you use them, the more dangerous they become.

I work in the film industry. We're still lights out, and it's getting worse.

JUST IMAGINE IT.

This post may sound preachy, but just try it once. Turn off everything and go somewhere and find the perfect song and sit there and do nothing but imagine the character. Complete focus on your fantasy.

IT'S FUN

For the sake of screenwriters and fanfic writers and voice actors and fan artists and everything else

JUST IMAGINE IT.

[catherineeverlasting]

I don’t have hobbies anymore. I cannot bear to pick up a pen or a paintbrush, or crack the spine of an unread book. I cannot go on walks or sing or play my viola— Instead, I sit at the windowsill yearning aimlessly. I cannot consume fiction any longer because I long for a love found only in its pages.

I love the concept of love, though I fear I will forever be searching in storybooks for a soul that makes mine complete.

[maladaptivedaydreamhq]

wait so i'm new to LoL lore: Viktor is a champion right? meaning it'd be wild bordering on impossible for the Arcane writers to kill him off permanently??

[sakuraspoke]

a burden shared // papa emeritus iii x reader

“I cannot imagine the pain you’re in,” he says, his hushed voice shaking with emotion.

You're not sure of the last time you spoke, and it's reflected in the brittle croak that comes from you.

"A lot."

Terzo's hand slips from your cheek to your chest, resting over your heart, feeling the erratic beat beneath his fingers. “Let me carry it for you,” he whispers. A gentle request, but a firm one. “Just for a little while.”

1.3k words, sfw, tw grief // read on ao3

[violet-starlings-blog]

Y’all ever feel like your ovaries are crying? Feels like my ovaries are crying.

God I’m a whore.

Any fanfic recs? Looking for some wolverine stuff if anybody has suggestions…

help.

[foleys-help-blog]

Tips for handling a daydream block

It happens to all of us at some point, and it sucks. here are some tips on how to deal with it from my experience.

There can be different or causes to it. First, you have too many thoughts. Whether it's because you have a lot on your mind, because you're stressed, or whatever other reason, if your brain is too full, it can be hard to daydream. Second possibility: your brain feels exhausted, empty. You're tired and it's hard to think, period. Third, you're just out of ideas!

✦ If you can and like to meditate, meditation is one of the best ways to calm down your thoughts and give your brain some respite.

✦ Napping can help rest too! Depending on the person, this might not help if you're in the first case though - I know it doesn't for me for example.

✦ If you lack ideas, look up some prompts, or maybe get into a new series or book! You need to feed your creativity, along with letting it rest.

✦ Do something else! Go for a walk, do some coloring, try a new art form, change up your habits! This can both help you get inspired and rest your creative muscles.

✦ Chat with other daydreamers! Whether it's gushing or venting, not feeling alone is a great help in feeling better

Now, while those are great to help getting out of a slump, sometimes only time will truly get rid of the block. In the meantime, there are ways you can stay connected to your paras and paracosms!

✦Make playlists your paras would listen to ✦Make moodboards ✦If you've written or drawn things related to your daydreamns, look at those ✦Make your paras a list of books they've read, would like to read, would dislike, etc! This can work with hobbies, movies, cartoons, food,… ✦Create a timetable of a typical work/school day of your para if it applies ✦Make jewelry for your paras; you can wear it to feel like they are with you or to think of them. ✦Make collages or art inspired by your paras, paracosms and daydreams! It can be super abstract! ✦Create outfit boards for your paras ✦Make memes about your paracosm ✦Try a meal or snack your paras would like! ✦Fill in personality quizzes as if you were your paras

Rest well, and happy daydreaming friends! 🪁🌟🫧

[lycheedr3ams]

I’m super dedicated to this blog. While I sat in class on Monday, I was thinking about how the sex scenes are gonna play out for my werewolf König fic. I’m so glad mind reading isn’t real

[echo-stimmingrose]

So we don't actually know what year Percy was born (cause Rick did that on purpose) So let's say for this he is born around 2005.

Imagine tiny Percy growing up watching how to train your dragon.

His childhood crush was Astrid.

Also he's neurodivergent and us Neurospicy's have a tendency to base our personality on other people, including FICTIONAL CHARACTERS!

Perseus Jackson based his personality on (and got a lot of his wit from) Hiccup Horrendous Haddock |||

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[d1zt0rt3dl3zb14n]

Sometimes I Forget I Can't Live In My Daydreams And Ignorance Forever And Will Genuinely Have To Find A Healthy Way To Cope With My Issues, Rather Than Pretend I'm Living In A Different World And Act As If They Don't Exist.