#lol i feel nauseous again
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in the mood to do something drastic
#have actual drastic things i need to do like tell my roommate im moving#but no that's too anxiety inducing#what if i kill myself instead#or disappear and go missing#those are fun drastic things#lol i feel nauseous again#giving myself just this one shit post for tonight let's see if that lasts#i'll just be here in the tags#feel like im gonna throw up but i know i wont this feeling will just last for a long time#idk why it's here but it is and it'll last until i matter and then come back a second later#lonely lonely lonely alone always alone
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idea that I can’t get out of my head is having some kind of contest with Bakugou and you bet with each other. it’s over something trivial, something simple, but he’s so goddamn competitive and you already know you’ll win, so you take him up on the offer.
the offer being—he can’t tell you no for an entire 24 hours. it’s a system either one of you could abuse, but you trust the other not to.
and he loses, quite to his shock, and begrudgingly accepts the consequences of the bet. he does everything you ask him to, including food cooked and readied for you, carrying you across the room so you don’t have to walk, stupid shit that you can see tick on his nerves. but as the day goes on, you start getting bolder and bolder, until you find yourself biting off more than you could chew.
“Eat me out until I cum.” You tell him in a rush of breath, pretty eyes blinking wide when he whips his head around to look at you. But his own shocked expression melts into a cocky one, as he tilts his head at you and leans down until his nose brushes against yours.
“Sweetheart, you’re asking for a regular Tuesday night.” He doesn’t say much else, barely lets you get a word out as he’s dropping to his knees and spreading your legs for you. You’re not sure why you’re so shocked that he did it without compliant, but you didn’t think he’d be so enthusiastic about the whole ordeal. Stroking his own cock through his pants as he slots his mouth over you, lapping at you, moaning whenever you push his head and command that he does it better.
And when you cum, after the nth time, does he finally let up when you tell him to. But you’re not done with him yet, no. Instead, you pull him back by his hair, look at his wet mouth and low eyes, drift down to his cum stained shorts and grin at him.
“Fuck me like you hate me.” You thought he moved fast when he was going to eat you out, but he’s damn near a blur at this request. Your clothes go flying, and you’re filled to the brim in what feels like seconds. As he holds you close and fucks you with a glint in his eye that makes your knees tremble, you pull him in by his nape, whisper,
“Kiss me.” And he grins at you, big and wide, slamming his hips until he’s buried to the hilt. It makes you whine, eyes fluttering shut as Bakugou speaks against your mouth,
“You don’t even have to ask, baby.” He kisses you hard enough to take your breath away, and you wonder why you’ve never betted him before.
#wasn’t sure if he was the bf or if this would’ve been better if he was just your best friend lol#I think I like best friend more tho#so everyone imagine that he’s your best friend doing this lol#okay I’m so sleeby and I feel nauseous again#I hate this bye#bakugou treats! 🍬#—new treat in the streets! 🍫
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News, articles etc: no one wants to work, Gen Z destroy workplaces with their behavior, they are demanding and picky, Gen Z cares about work-life balance and don't want to make sacrifices, employers complain about Gen Z, Gen Z destroy the old order in work
Me after watching Perfect Propose: …….. well CAN YOU DESTROY IT FASTER??
#realizing I'm like a boomer boss giving Gen Z a deadline to destroy capitalism lol#but I feel nauseous watching Hiro at work#please let him feel the taste of life again#let him taste good food and a good kiss on his lips 🥺#perfect propose#perfect propose the series#bl drama#japanese bl
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currently at That Point which occurs once every few months where one briefly begins pacing around the house teary eyed contemplating selling their own organs or becoming an online scammer or getting on anxiety meds so you can bear the risk taking required to be a hitman or so on and so forth.... why must everything so Expensive... Surely all would be healed in life if only I had one big plate of lasagna and a simple loan of $40,000 ... auoughhh....
#And then you just eventually shrug and go 'welp. nothing i can do i guess' and sad cartoon music plays as you shuffle back to your room#It's just hard with my specific physical and mental issues since it's like.. I couldn't really handle most jobs. I can't handle school. I'm#100% aromantic and asexual so I'll never get married so I can't get money that way. I have too much issues with social cues#+ too nervous temperament + too low energy to put effort into lying and having a fake relationship just for money. so on and so forth etc.#Really I should have just been born into a middle class family. Which I guess everyone says. but ESPECIALLY considering my#chronic conditions kind of hampering my ability to function 'normally' or be Independent in a regular way. I'm always going to be#in some way sort of beholden to the whims of people around me who I must depend on. so... well of course they might as well have been rich#lol like that would have been better for me of course.#AAANyway... Just thinking about another stupid fucking climate change summer... months keep going by so fast.. soon it will be so again#And it's like such SMALL things would make drastic improvements for me. Literally if I just had a place with central AC#then like 75% of my issues with summer would vanish instantly. literally. But instead it's like.. having a cheap hot apartment + only#half functional dinky window ac + my illnesses that make me heat sensitive + living in a part of the country that keeps getting hotter +#inability to leave the house much meaning I can't just go spend time in a cooler place etc. all factors which combine together to make#it just utterly miserable for MONTHS and mentally draining. And literally ALL I would need to fix that is just...#have a place with central AC that works.. (or move to a colder country/area but that also takes money. Or just not have illnesses#that make me heat sensitive. but that I can't control). etc. etc. I guess it's just the nature of the constant background frustration of#being part of The Masses under our current manifestation of unmitigated capitalism. Such minor details would make such huge#quality of life improvements and yet will remain ever out of reach. ONE little thing could change your whole life but you can't even have#that. so many 'If only' scenarios. etc. And of course obviously I am incredibly thankful just to have anywhere to live at all. food to eat#. any sort of stability whatsoever no matter how fragile it feels/is. But that still doesn't make it not frustrating occasionally to look#around and see how relatively little would have to change in order for you to be a decent percentage more comfortable and yet#how still far away even those ''small'' seeming goals are. etc. etc.#Seriously think I've been traumatized by the summer or something somehow lol like thinking about it being warm weather eventually#makes me nauseous with panic. It's just SOOO much labor. micromanaging windows and fans and blocking every ounce of light#and not being able to cook (cant even afford a single degree of temp increase due to the stove) for months and barely being able#to sleep for months and the claustrophobia of days on end crawling out of your skin because it doesnt even get cool enough at#night to offer relief so you're just always feeling trapped.. hgrhh...#It starts getting hot here sometimes in May but mostly June then lasts through October now.. thats like half the year almost.. ARghhH#anyway... If any extremely rich person reading this would like to buy me an air conditioned house in exchange for multiple years worth#of art (I will paint murals on all of your grand dining halls and make all the custom sculptures you could ever want etc) then.. hewwo :'3c
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apparently WoW is quite buggy today... won't play tonight. too damn tired to play anyway. hopefully it'll be fixed by tomorrow. wanna do my raid runs and timewalking lol
#i called in sick so might be in bed most of my day tomorrow#just been feeling like pure shite for the past few weeks.#think the meds are taking me out a bit too.. they arent helping#and my acne flared up again but i hope it's just the hormones from the pill doing it's duty... duties?#ive been on the pill for a month now. should probably be having my period#feels weird not having one...#i could get used to this xD#delete later#(i was told to skip the sugar ones. so no period YAY)#still feel nauseous from taking the other meds though. hate it lol
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I hope to everything good out there that this Zoloft fucking helps me
#all it’s done so far is make me nauseous and ruin my sleep for two days lol#hopefully side effects go away soon#I’m hopeful about it but idk. just feeling kind of hollow and uncreative and a little lonely#which is weird bc I’ve been talking to people so much lately#just. still feeling isolated I guess#idk#delete later#wackyposting#I should be sleeping but I can’t :/#I normally fall asleep fast and stay asleep#but the past two days it’s taken hours to fall asleep and I only get like 30 mins before I’m up again#so maybe I’m just feeling crappy bc I’m tired idk
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This just in, local struggler severely overestimates how much they can eat yet again. Left with half a bowl of ramen and a sad, sad heart
#speculation nation#it's homemade at least so im not wasting money on fancy ramen#but i Hate this man it sucks 😭😭😭😭#i keep losing weight bc i can never eat enough#and i was like 'ok lets make a ramen thats a good sized meal' but then i cant FINISH it#forced myself to finish all the eggs at least and now im just picking at the peas. ugh.#at this rate im gonna have to start drinking ensures more regularly again#bc i havent gotten to the underweight phase yet but if it keeps going like this then i will#like it was. excuse me talking about my weight for a bit but im a tad bit concerned about it#but back before i started adderall back in uhh. september?? i think?? or october???#fuck if i remember. been a few months tho. but also not That long.#anyways i was at like. 140lbs at the doctor and like 137lbs at home (relevant bc clothes weight. rest of this will be at home weights)#and ive had such shit appetite that ive been watching it go down and down. like at least a pound a week. sometimes two pounds.#and now im at 123lbs. which is a solid almost 15 lbs lost in like 3 ish months. which is kind of a lot when ur small to begin with.#also a little alarming when u see this happen like a pound lower between every shower. bc i tend to check before i shower.#& i often shower every 4 days or so. when im in the Rotting Era and all. aka i dont rly go outside much.#and like 123lbs still isnt bad for 5'3“ but i think 107lbs is the cutoff for underweight. and im halfway there.#and now see i was about this weight a few years back so in one respect it's nice to fit into some of my older pants again#but at the same time..thats too quick!!! thats not healthy!!!! but when i try to eat more i Cant!!! it makes me nauseous!!!!!#so back in early 2020 when i was dipping under 110lbs bc of meds stuff i got onto ensure and it did help. so maybe i need to again.#just..blegh. i just kinda feel empty all the time. like stomach-wise. but not Hungry. it's a problem.#gotta come up with ways to eat that dont rely on my stomach to tell me when to eat. bc it's definitely not doing a good job at that.#weight mention/#and like see ive been eating 2 meals a day on average but i was doing that before too!!!!!!#but i think it's bc i cant Finish my meals half the time that's really causing problems.#staring at my half eaten bowl of ramen very grumpily. it has now been long enough that it's kind of gross.#and my arms hurt. just bc my bone aches have decided to flare up again. very grumpy.#negative/#i guess lol
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Hormones are so fucking expensive man I hate it here
#ash.txt#sry for posting so much about money lately I'll be fine again when I get paid next month#just. lots of unexpected costs all at once#and every time I see how much essentials cost it feels like a gut punch lol#I desperately need to go food shopping but I feel vaguely nauseous thinking about how much it's gonna cost lol#again I am fine there is no need for concern I am truly just venting#it's just. yeah. not how I would have chosen to start the new year. I'm gonna have to break a resolution immediately I think lol
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I feel so dogshit awful holy fuck
#just like .... throbbing headache all day ...I can barely talk to people .. I'm dizzy n nauseous...#I'm almost through my shift but like fuuck...#I'm going home and going to sleep after I feed my cats and pop 2 ibuprofen or something#Maybe it's psychosomatic though cause once I stepped out of here on my lunch break I was feeling a bit better#But going back inside made it start up again#I think I'm just overworked and don't get enough sleep ... I'm so tired and hungry ...#I'll also eat when I get home .. that might fix it#It started last night after I drank apple soda too fast and went Uh Oh#Because I'm Allergic to Apples 🍎#My own fault LOL ... I thought the soda would be okay since it had no juice in it
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#holy fuck. knock on wood. fingers crossed. press my thumbs. i think the pain is cycling down#like probably its this bad bc my body is weak from fighting an allergic reaction and i think lam1ctal can cause some menstral issues#but like holy fuck. i cannot go thru that again. just hours of being nauseous and crumpled in pain#i was very very very seriously considering going to the hospital. but like ive ridden in an ambulance before and i dont wanna spend like#1000 dollars to go like 10min down the road. bullshit. god i hope its stopping#it was just like so much pain i didnt kno what to do. absolutely intolerable. ugh.#please dont let this happen tomorrow 🙏 please please please. i have to teach#and ny roommate is staying here the next 2 nights after not seeing her for like months#y now? 😭 im gonna have to b like hi *visibly disheveled* if i talk i might puke. bye.#i wish i could just sleep thru this. ibuprofen is not helping 😭#im just worried if i went to the hospital theyd make me wait for hours in the waiting room. shaking with pain. and then id b fine by the#time they got to me. like yea srry i was jusy being a lil bitch abt a normal bodily process lol. god. ppl with high levels of chronic pain#how tf do u do it? i dont think im strong enough. but i guess u probably get used to it. god that sucks so bad#ugh. i wish my mom was here. i want her to just pet my hair until i feel better 😭 but nooo shes going off to have fun in canada#so she's gonna b even farther from me than normal 😭#unrelated
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track 1 started the stage for the very first time with a projection of ichiro sliding open to reveal his actor and bop marked the end of the stage with those same doors sliding to close on him as we return to a 2d ichiro and it’s that kinda care that made the stage so special but it is an utter gut punch of an ending lol
#this is vee speaking#i didnt have the bandwidth to make this post upon my first watch and i still don’t really#like genuinely nauseous now that the stage is really gone lol#the way ichiro blew up at kuukou over their break up because he didn’t know how to process his feelings is me!!!!!!!#idk how to process this heartbreak lol!!!!!!!!!! i just feel so unwell and i want to scream constantly lol!!!!!!!!!!!#i hate this so much!!!!!!!!#but thanks again for the four years hypstage 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
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ok i survived yom kippur. but it took every single scrap of strength in my body and i’m not completely better yet
#purrs#food#ask to tag#got my period thursday… bad cramps friday and saturday to the point where i had to go home early saturday (we were working lol 🤪)…. woke up#sunday with a. headache that got worse and worse throughout the day… 5-6 hours into the fast was in agony and felt like i was going to ****#so i… broke the fast and ate something at like 1am. then woke up in agony at 5am and then again at 9am and had a breakdown / fight with my#mom and then spend the whole rest of the fast deathly nauseous and my head hurting worse than ever. broke the fast an hour before everyone#else did (only ate a tiny bit) and then during the fast breaking dinner i started freaking out bc eating wasn’t making my head hurt less so#my grandpa told me to go lie down with a heating pad on my head and i did and slept for like 2 hours and it helped. finally feel better but#my head still hurts faintly and im scared it’ll come back. also i didn’t do my homework and missed class today to fast so im fucked#ive had headaches like this before but this is the worst one in a LONG time. it wasn’t a migraine bc those are in one specific spot iirc but#this was like… my ENTIRE face and the source of the pain migrated from my jaw to my temple to the bridge of my nose to the back of my head#etc etc and it kept moving around and was so sharp i didn’t even have the strength to open my eyes or walk around. and i think it was making#me interpret hunger as nausea. also i took my temperature bc i was flashing hot and cold and was like 2 degrees under normal body temp and#felt so weak and shaky and had body aches too. lol 😍 hpefully the worst of it is over but my head still hurts a little and im so scared itll#happen again. that was by far my worst fasting experience ever#delete later
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mfs when they sit worse than a shrimp all day and then wonder why their back hurts
#legitimately thinking that this posture issue is starting to actually cause me problems LOL#like the pain in my back can get so bad that it makes me ' unexplainably ' nauseous and im just now realizing that its definitely the#back problems that r the source of why i feel Weird Bad 97% of the time#if correcting a bad posture youve had for literally years was easier id start doing it now !!! but its HARD and im MAD ABOUT IT#i guess ill just try and sit up straight when i notice im not ?? idk how this works#i dunno i just need someone to put me in a taffy puller and then ill be normal again
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my period is LATE. can't be pregnant btw so it's propably from all the extreme stress but the fact that it's late is just stressing me out more. endless cycle. and I'm still sad and angry and paranoid and grieving and upset and a mess. at least that jewelry gift card that I won last month arrived I GUESS there's that
#and i have some good food waiting to be eaten but I can't even enjoy it cause I'm nauseous most of the time from the stress too#but at least i got a haircut and i feel like myself again lol i truly can't do long hair i feel so much better now that it's shorter#and! at least ao is about to start maybe watching a slam will make me feel at least a tiny little bit better hopefully#but still feel like shit like a mess like a wreck. whatever
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#delete later#ive had a weirdly present day. ive been able to concentrate fir like 20 mins at s time. ive been connected to the world enough to stim#automatically rather than having to tell myself to even though i know it will help and i probably need to.#so of course this evening im having an anxiety attack. because of course i am#fucking wild. dissociate less for a day and immediately start panicking over nothing. stupid boy!!!#youre fucking fine. i want to start looking at other jobs again but apparently fucking anything will set me off rn. infuriating.#woooooof ouchy my chest. im money worrying even though i have nothing to worry about. im in a fine position. train tickets#are just so fuck off expensive 😂. its vaguely infuriating. work wants me in every week now. and i feel guilty asking for the money back#even though i shouldn't. eurgh. anxiety sucks#i was hoping to be able to afford to start regular therapy but it doesn't look like i will yet. i haven't been able to replenish any savings#between buying necessities and travelling back and forth for two months. so thats priority unfortunately. turns out i really don't use much#electricity and gas though so my payments there are pretty good#i run hot so tend to keep my flat at 18° which is pretty damn affordable. and i can sleep with ky weighted blanket and not wake up#wildly sweaty which is nice lol#i truly overheat so quickly. the room is currently at 19° and im sat in a t shirt and its the perfect temperature. i know if i was to start#moving furniture around or pick up heavy stuff id start sweating so much#EURGH. anyway i need to calm down before i sleep. fuckin wish ne luck#oh yeah i also made two full meals today!!! and had snack!!! and ate tge food without feeling nauseous!!! im doing grest at this#living thing. i didn't manage to properly socialise but hey. you win some you lose some#hmm. i need to go lie down for a while. something just kickrd me in a weird direction. hmm.
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#tmi lol#tw being sick#after three full days of being nauseous i Finally threw up today#everything from the past two days left my body again#after an afternoon of splitting headaches#which seem to have been related bc since the big vomiting sesh i'm okay????????#my bowels obviously still feel tender but i managed to eat some crackers and a bland omelette#and half a banana#it made me feel a lot better too bc i knew i hadnt managed to eat enough today#bc i simply couldnt#i have never experienced this before fr#THREE DAYS of being weirdly nauseous and constipated and also dehydrated#just suffering overall tbh#to let it culminate in one enormous vomiting episode and now it's better#i TRIED throwing up two days ago btw but nothing moved#so i gave up#please please let it all be over now and let me be okay again tomorrow#i promise i'll take care of my body i promise#my posts
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