#feel like im gonna throw up but i know i wont this feeling will just last for a long time
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tsnbrainrot · 5 months ago
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todayisafridaynight · 8 months ago
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i remmeber seeing a post that was like kazumaji is a gay ship for straight people and minedai is a gay ship for gay people LMFAOAOOAOAO lowkey true
this feels true but i cant put a finger on it .....
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kit-katsuki · 3 months ago
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ohhhb venting...
#its getting bad again!#and i don't know how to talk about any of it#my brains main thoughts throughout the day are 'im going to fucking throw up' and 'i should kill myself'#the anxiety has been giving me legitimate chest pains lately (i think its the anxiety)#and i cant lie down to sleep without my brain going all ballistic and self deprecating#i relapsed sh again and i fucking hate it because i was almost a year clean#it got so bad my brother dmed me asking if im okay#i have to be positiveee this is a manic depressive episodeee i wont do anything permanent#i feel like im gonna throw up. and kill myself. i wont. but oh my fucking god i thought i was over this#i dont know what to tell my brother like do i admit im fucking losing my mind or do i try and keep it palatable.#like 'yeah ive been uhh convincing myself not to walk into the street on the way home wbu'#what even is there to say#i feel like im too much for what im worth#people care about me and it only makes their lives harder#people have problems and theyre all my fault#i wish i could just not exist. even if for a short period pf time#i feel like im bringing more stress and anger into this world than the good things that come of me#i feel like everyone that gives me a chance is going to end up hating me#i feel like everyone that loves me will only see who i really am and end up resenting me#i feel like i cant breathe without ruining something good for someone#im sorry#i dont think ill ever feel like im truly doing okay
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sphylor · 4 months ago
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this dumbass forgot their namebadge at home...
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micamone · 5 months ago
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hey guys
#vent#just... gimmie a sec im gonna put it in the tags i cant find the readmore on my phone rn#im havin a straight up not good time but not the worst in the house!#the worst is my cat. whose old and dying. and i have no money to put to sleep to fuckin put us both outta this misery#typical. she cant get a heart attack and go fast like my moms dog#shes gotta wail and be ill for a month while im recovering from one surgery and trying to get ready for the next#its also an amazing time for my ocd that i learned i have from artists on hear explaining what it is to send me into spirals#over germs. but shes just 20 with teeth and respiratory issues her whole life and been struggling with constipation#so i KNOW how shes dying. shes backed up and hungry and dehydrated but feeling bloated still and not eating or drinking.#shes probably got arthritis and has been moving like a geriatric for a while but its to the point now she wont even lay down. shes just#perched on a pile of towels in the bathroom dozing and occasionally crying for me to come pet her. im so fuckin tired#and theres nothing i can do! the vet i could find a timeslot for in a reasonable time said 500$. so thats cool. im paying 1000$ for me in#a week for my stuff and its just. god all she and i are doing is crying and it sucks ass#she wants company for comfort and i dont blame her - so the fuck do i!#but i cant sit in the bathroom with her my damn legs keep going numb. and my roomate 1) cant emotionally buoy me thru this#and 2) has a long work day tomorrow and its already mad late. sigh#dont try to offer me condolences ive worked thru her dying already its just now we're botb exhausted in the form its taking#if anything i just need another distraction to keep me from spiraling over something again#edit: ARUGH AND THE OTHER CAT THROWING UP IN THE OTHER ROOM. GOD DAMN IT#the younger one has so many allergies and wont stop fucking eating things off the floor babygirl i am BEDRIDDEN you gotta stop eating shit#off the floor!!!!!!!! you have specialty food for a reason!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#awesome it was right in my bed
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toytulini · 1 year ago
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mental health just straight up plummeting
#toy txt post#everyday the smallest things have me spiralling into such stupid despair#constantly fighting myself cos every single thing has me wanting to throw up my hands and walk the fuck off bc theres bo point#whats the fucking point!! just despair and exhaustion and burned the fuck out and gnashing at the fucking walls and then spiralling into#a stupid little self pity self hate spiral cos im just a weak stupid little baby who cant handle the real world. plenty of ppl have it so#much worse and havent given up yet so whats my fucking problem? which is so stupid. but i cant logic my way out of this one#so i am simply sitting here feeling so god damn bad#and i dont even really have. a good reason for it. idk. like i dont have a lot of concrete quantifiable reasons i can present about why#i am so goddamn miserable at my job. im just. going insane i need out im performing badly its not worth it theres no fucking point#every day im fighting the urge to just fucking walk off over the stupidest tiniest things that are definitely not worth that kind of#reaction. like yea maybe i do need like mental health meds or smth but i also know. i need out of this fucking. job. but i dont know#like. idk its like my options are just kore of this same stupid bullshit or retail/food service. and like. shout out to retail and food#service. i fucking could not i fucking cannot. but like im reaching that point here too. everything hurts all the time with no reprieve and#all my options just feel like its gonna be ! even more stupid repetitive motions that wont help! like idk! idk what to do. i just#wanna read about stupid little fucking worms and fish but doing that professionally im not sure im up to it and#between me and that career path is thousands of dollars and homework. so#now im the rat instead now im the rat instead now im the rat instead now im the rat instead#trying so hard not to display idk red flag behavior but im Going Insane. i should just start crying at work. why bother hiding it. whats the#point#vent#ig#i should go eat. and waste the rest of my stupid fucking night playing zelda trying to soothe my brain enough to function except im not#functjoning cos then itll be 5am again and ill have done nothing but play zelda and be up too late and go to bed and not get enough sleep#and be a little to a lot late and be miserable and the cycle just fucking never ends#not enough fucking podcasts about worms out there for this#i opened several academic papers on tongue eating isopods to cope and barely read them bc i cant do that at work it takes too long and i get#lost and my productivity is already in the shit and i need to stop being on my phone and i know that but like also if i dont fucking#distract my stupid fucking brain right fucking now im gonna start throwing things and crying#anyway. thats how im doing. bye
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i think i need a breakdown. just a small one. but my parents looked weird at me when i wouldn't stop sobbing after watching braveheart so like. guess not. great film tho, absolutely amazing, and i am very emotional about it it's wonderful
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some-random-fandom-chick · 3 months ago
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#gonna ramble in the tags because my brain sucks and if i put this in my own personal discord server im gonna see it all the time#so id rather throw it here and forget about it and have it drowned out by various fandom posts and other posts i simply find neat#existential anxiety is an absolute fucking bitch and i hate that it randomly haunts me often for no reason#i have however figured out that its exacerbated by stress and feeling a lack of control over my life#cause one day im gonna be old and close my eyes for the last time and thats it#i wont wake up in a new life and forget this one i wont be in a number of fictional universes i enjoy#i wont even wake up in an afterlife#hell even if there is on (i believe there is) i wont see it cause i have aphantasia#i see absolute sweet fuck all in my head! even my dreams tend to be kinda fuzzy and tunnel visioned!#im nearly 30 and as a kid i oculd never conceive of life beyond my teens and as a teen i couldnt imagine my 20s#and now im turning 29 this year ive temporarily moved halfway across the world to be with my fiance of 8 years in an attempt to make this#move permanent and... ive done nothing truly significant#i wanted to work in languages as a teen primarily because i loved hetalia at the time and it sparked my desire to truly understand history#and culture and communication and finally connect with people#it really should have been obvious to the career coach lady that i was autistic seriosuly how the fuck did it go unnoticed by everyone#except my mother and she didnt even support me properly!#youd think that this anxiety would propel me into doing the things i want to do which rn is photography#but nope! all it does is make me scared to sleep because what if thats the last time i close my eyes and i dont know it?!#so now im here occasionally publishing my silly tiktok videos#doing my best to not backhand mil or shake my fiance because they talk like a baby sometimes and that sets off various buttons with me#for reasons i havent fully figured out yet#i have so many friends and interests and the family i still speak to is lovely and supportive#though lets not get into nanny getting old and knowing that itll be time to say goodbye to her though hopefully not for another decade#but yeah. my brain sucks i cant afford to go back to therapy rn because im unemplyed#the job hunt sucks cause canadas job market is somehow worse than englands and i cant even get financial support here cause temp resident#and every so often my brain just throws this existential bullshit at me for no reason#im gonna go do the souless job search now#and set this to not be reblogged because frankly no one needs to be inflicted with this in their head
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inevitablestars · 4 months ago
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in the mood to do something drastic
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1hyunjae · 1 year ago
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I really need to do something about this anxiety
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ashnnix · 5 months ago
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Various JJK Men x Male Husband reader
Tw: triplepen,overstimulatiom,Dubcon, Dacryphilia,marking,mentions of blood,ass ripper,vibrator,not safe sex, spanking, buldge, cum inflation, degradation, polysex, taking a video without consent
Summary: after fucking your husband and three men another three men barge in to fuck you in one go♡︎
PT.1 PT3
Minors dni
Fem align dni
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"Im...shoo full ahhh~♡︎" Gojo pulled out his soft dick, he watched bunch of cums flows out on your sore ass. You lay limp on the couch, twicthing, shaking sweaty eyes rolled back. Your ass is red from how harsh these four men fucked you
Gojo stood up to take a rest. He chug on a bunch of water to ready himself for another round, but the three men they're waiting finally arrive
You heard the door open again, a man laughed at the scene
"Fuck I'm hard already"
"Smells like sex here"
"bought the vibrator, good..."
Your head turned to the voice, and your mouth went dry. Your eyes let out more tears
The three men whos already taking off their clothes. They're the men who you rejected after giving their everything to you. You saw how Sukuna glared down at your lewd form, grinning down like he planned all of this. Naoya whos now stroking his dick with lube, biting his lip from the sensation his dick twitched from the thought of wanting to fuck you deep. Toji, who's walking closer to you, he looked at your body like you are one of his target
"N-no more....ahh"
Toji laughed down at how pathetic you look. Your eyes eyeing his thick dick hard and ready
"You say that, but you're drooling over my dick." You bit your tongue. Your mind is fighting with your body. Fighting the urge to just be a whore infront of them all
"Now now....be gentle with my husband" All the men inside the room scoffed at Gojo, even Getou didn't fuck with it
"Satoru you promised" Getou glared at Gojo whos taking a break from the good fuck he just had
"Just kidding Suguru, you know I always keep my words" Gojo looked down at the ring in his fingers, he saw your ring on the floor that slipped after he fucked you
You felt betrayed on what you just heard, with a sigh you gave up. You tried to push your weak body, you leaned on the couch and spread your legs wide. The men smirked on how successfully they had you in their arms again
"Fine, p-please...haa....fuck me deep♡︎" you said lewdly while your dick twitched already leaking precum. Toji got a hold of you first, holding both of your legs while your back touched his big pecs
Naoya grabbed the vibrator as he licked his lips. He tapped the vibrator on your hard red slippery dick and turned in on a high setting. The rough vibrating toy in your dick made your body shake as you squirted another cum
"Ohhh Noya! Se-sensitive! ahhh~♡︎" you squealed so loud Sukuna put his finger on your mouth
"Shut the fuck up whore, I wont forgive you for rejecting me you bitch. Better take this dick well" Toji glared at Sukuna, he scoffed and rolled his eyes
"We three can all take him," Naoya said, Toji and Sukuna felt their dick twitch at the thought
Your eyes widen in fear your mouth went dry again, two dicks almost ripped your hole. If you took three your gonna rip
The three men lined up their dick rubbing their tip on your wet twicthing rim
"No! Its not gonna fi- ohmp!" Sukuna put in his fingers back to your mouth again
They all took a deep breath before the three men simultaneously went inside you, rough and hard. You throw your head back, hitting Tojis big pecs, Sukuna's fingers slipping away inside your mouth
"OHH! IM GONNA RIP~"You felt it, the pain in your ass. You let out a lot of tears sobbing and laying limp on Tojis chest. Blood dripping from the floor, the pain of being forced to take three dicks is too much for you. And the vibrator is still making your sensitive dick let out cum
"Hurts....ahhh hurts..."
The four men watching didn't feel bad, except for Gojo whos holding back. This is the consequences of your actions, never reject obsessed men again or they gonna fuck you rough to get it in your head
"Fuck youre haa... tight honey" You heard Toji groan his big strong body still holding you
"Mu- fuck! tighter than the other whores I fucked" Noaya grinned as he gave your thighs a kiss
"You're ahhh gonna take this dick every day from now on" Sukuna grinned, biting your shaking thighs
The three men started pounding rough inside you, using blood as a lube never turned you on. But your body keeps begging for more
Fwop Fwop Fwop
"Ohhh~ ahh! Ngh! S-shoo ahh! rough~♡︎" You helplessly whined just staying on Tojis arm taking it like a good boy♡︎!!
Fwop Fwop Fwop
"Haa... fu-fuck! yo- ahh! feel so good~" Naoya whined his dick twitching at your tight hole and two men's dick rubbing his dick inside your tight twitching hole. He grab the camera near him and started filming this hot sex he wouldn't forget
Fwop Fwop Fwop
"Shit! You're fucked Y/N!" Sukuna laughed the pleasure he felt from your body made him already leak pre cum
Fwop Fwop Fwop
"You feel good? Huh? Does my thick dick feel good~" Toji whispered near your ears, making you shiver
"Ohh good! Feels good!" You moaned like a desperate whore, your eyes finally saw the camera. Naoya bit his lip as he zoomed it into your face
"Smile from ngh~ camera Y/N...." You gave your lewd smile drool coming out. As snot came out your nose from crying too much
"Say you fucking love our dicks!" Sukuna screamed as he gave your ass a spanking
You squealed from the pain, your eyes made contact from the camera and did a peace sign
"I love all of your dicks...♡︎"
The three men fucking you felt their dick twitched again, they began to fuck you much faster than before. Their balls hitting your ass making it red from the impact
"Ngh!! Roug- ahh~ mmf!"
With their final thrust, Toji came inside you first while Naoya and Sukuna pulled out to spray their cum all over your body
"Cu-cumming! Oh im cumming hard! N-no more~!!" Your dick squirted another load also staining your chest
The camera Noaya's holding zoomed all over every parts with their stained cum all over your body. You looked absolutely wrecked. Your ass with blood now also filled with Tojis load
"Fuck that was hot"
The four men whos taking a break felt their dick harden again, they walked near you whos now catching breath
"Want another round? Getou said as he patted your head
You passed out before you can even reply
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love44lew · 9 days ago
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just like him . max verstappen
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彡driver max verstappen
彡genre drunk!max verstappen x gn!reader, angst to fluff
彡summary max comes home drunk after a long night of partying and celebrating another wdc
၊၊||၊ this story has been haunting me for weeks now and im always busy with school or just dont have motivation to write but im glad to finally get the last of it on this sunday evening. enjoy and ty for reading!! ၊၊||၊
彡warnings alcohol, mentions of child abuse
———————————🦈———————————
max stumbles into the door after too damn long trying to get that stupid lock. why was the damn door locked anyway? he roughly plops down on the floor, kicking his shoes off and tossing them to the side without any second thought about them. he’s woozy and his head feels like its full of water and he can barely stand up straight—it was a long night of drinking and celebrating securing the drivers championship.
you would’ve went, but you weren’t feeling too well and even though max had insisted to stay home with you, you refused to let him miss out on celebrating such an achievement; hesitantly he went.
after a long 3 hours of drinking, dancing, partying him and his father had a long talk. a deep one, about his childhood. once again he’d taken credit for max’s achievements, once again telling max he should be grateful for the years of ‘tough parenting’. still the same stupid ass excuse he had to brag about how beating your kids made them world champions, what a way to ruin a night.
max stumbled into the kitchen, the house being left dimly lit since you’d expected him to come home late.
his head—the pounding became unbearable. ever since that talk with him the effects of the alcohol we’re hitting him harder then they should’ve for the amount he drank. he wasn’t drugged, was he? maybe his fathers words is what drugged him—but instead of sending him into a high, they sent him into a deep dysphoria.
he bent over, resting his temple on the cold marble of the island—the sensation easing his dizziness.
water, he needs water. but he couldn’t move from the position he was now.
“max..?” you called from up the stairs.
he just groaned in response
you smiled to yourself as you scurried down the stairs, knowing how he gets when he’s drunk. you were feeling much better than you were before, after throwing up and taking a nap, of course. “maxie,” the nickname rolled sweetly off your tongue, your tone much more comforting and soft. you turned the corner, spotting his tall figure hunched over the countertop his leg bouncing uncontrollably.
“hey, lets get you upstairs, hm?” you rubbed circles on his back as you picked up his arm and swung it over your shoulders. he’s heavy to say the least, so it wasn’t easy getting him up.
“y/n” max mumbled, stopping you at the base of the steps and using your shoulders to help him sit on them.
“yes max”
in your head, you celebrated being able to rest your shoulders for a couple minutes before helping him upstairs
“can you just be honest with me for one second here” his voice was hoarse and low, he could barely make eye contact with you. you can already understand this was a bad trip.
“always, love” your brows furrowed, his tone rising concern within you. there was a pause before he cleared his throat and his ocean blue orbs, that now appeared an almost dark grey in this lighting.
“do you think i’ll turn out like him” he almost whispered, just enough so you can hear him semi-clearly. the words stabbed you in the chest, where could he be getting these thoughts from. and whose ‘him’?
“him..?” you repeated, tilting your head to the side “max what are you talking about?”
“my dad” his eyes finally locked with yours “do you think im gonna turn out like him? what if the day comes where i would try to hurt you, if its by words or trying to put my hands on you? i never want to do that, i dont want that—thats not love. what we have, i feel this is love, but what if it wont be anymore, because of me?..” his eyes became sad, desperate and ashamed with himself, disappointed in himself for something he’s never done but the thought that he could possibly even try to hurt you makes him want to just curl up in a ball and cry.
“max-“ you reached a comforting hand out to him, just for him to reject it.
“no— i dont want to hurt you. you should go and find another guy who wouldn’t ever do that to you. im just like my fuckin dad, i even see his face in the mirror just to remind me of the doom im destined to” he hunches over, buring his face in his hands.
at this point you didnt even know what to say. you obviously are aware of the complex relationship max has with his father but he never never voiced these thoughts to you before, especially when hes drunk. hes all silly and quiet and sleepy usually, something must’ve happened to make him like this. everyone has their fears of inheriting their parents bad characteristics, max has told you about stuff he tries to do differently than him, but you never imagined it being this bad.
max is such a kind soul, he couldn’t even kill a spider. he has no reason to rage if he’s already taking all his frustrations out on track. outside the car he’s a calm dude, you’ve never heard him yell or be nasty to his engineers when he wasn’t on track. of course he has his occasional attitude towards the authority but never further than that. every time he acted out, hes worked hard to fix whatever caused him to do so.
the best thing you could do is just wait for him to finish talking so you could voice your thoughts, which you did so. you sat next to him, resting your head on his shoulder until he calmed town and flushed out all the words he had pent up in his brain. the two of you sat as his sobs filled the silence between you. saying something right away didnt feel like the right move anyway.
“you dont have to be him. youre not gonna be him because youre already better than him. max, youre still in your 20s and look all that you’ve accomplished—stuff he couldn’t dream to do in his entire life. you dont have a reason to end up like him because youre not a fuckin failure.” it might have been a little too much to talk so harshly about his dad, because its his dad. but whatever he did or said to him before he arrived home has caused the love of your life hysterical and paranoid for the future, so right now, he didn’t deserve the babying he receives from everyone around him and max. his sobs had calmed down at this point, the pause was enough for you to continue.
“and about me— i dont want anyone else. of course we’ll have our disagreements, we’ll piss each other off eventually. we’ll exchange words we dont mean and then we’ll immediately regret it after, thats just how things are. but id rather do that with you than another person because i’ll only ever want you. we’re in this together baby—and as long as i have you, theres always something to fight for because you’re worth fighting for. i made that decision the day i fell in love with you, and i never looked back since.” your heart, chest, and throat burned with every word that left your mouth. like confessing your love wasn’t hard enough the first time, here you are pouring it all out again. you keep your heart so sacred, all the world can fight for it and you’d still be stuck on that person you gave it all to. that person being max.
“i can only tell you how i feel, i cant convince you to think otherwise. but remember, i gave YOU my everything because thats the only thing i have to offer. i chose you because i see something in you that nobody else saw before, or sometimes dont even see now—“ not even your own father
“and now its my job to help you see those things within yourself.” your soft hands cupped his face so the two of you could fix on one another once again.
“just think about that”
his saddened eyes widened, like you had planted something in his mind. he melted into your touch, his eyes closing and his cheeks growing a deeper rose than before.
“i love you so much, i dont deserve you” he kissed your hands while mumbling his love for you.
“i love you too, but i disagree” you leaned in closer and kissed the bridge of his nose. he just sighed softly, he didnt feel like staring another debate on who loves who more. maybe in the morning.
max wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you in closer and resting his head on your chest. you wrapped your arms around him, planting a soft kiss on the top of his head. the two of you sat in silence, enveloping in one anothers warmth. his home was right here, with you.
“im thirsty” max mumbles, breaking the silence between you two. you chuckled silently. “okay baby” you helped him stand up and up the stairs, leading him to your room. max threw himself onto the bed. you turned around to fetch some water but a tired hand tugged your wrist.
“dont go” he nuzzled into your palm, his lips brushing over your fingers. “im not going anywhere honey, im just getting water for you” max whined in protest, his face was flushed into your hand like it was his only source of warmth— tingles fluttered your heart at the sight.
“you need water, do you want to be hungover tomorrow?” you leaned on your hip and narrowed your eyes curiously.
“no i need you, now come here im cold” he pouts, tugging your hand harder causing you to fall onto the bed with a cushioned thud. before you could even react, a needy, pouty max had already latched his body onto yours tightly, nuzzling into your shoulder and allowing the scent of his lover consume his senses.
you sighed softly, the messiness of his hair and the way his arms hug your body made you not want to move. your body relaxed in his arms as max’s soft snores muffled into the cloth of your (his) sweater. you raked your fingers through his soft blonde locks until you too eventually fell into your own sleep. the two of you tangled in each other, sleeping peacefully knowing that you both will always have a shoulder to lean on.
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todayisafridaynight · 1 year ago
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'im gonna sleep' he lied
#snap chats#i love making the main text Bullshit and then putting the actual post below. ive said this before but idc its my art#its like... the main text is the title and the tags is the actual article.... does that make sense#i should sleep my eyes are heavy but im being tormented by concepts i want to execute#gotta apologize for all the arasawa posting as of late but ive been enabled#tbh on the lowest of keys i did post bout them on occasion in the past but. but now it's feel-speed ahead#twt has been driving me insane so i just need to hop aboard me other boat yk what im saying... please say you do i refuse to elaborate#for the sake of the people i wont but man if you know you know#anyways. the actual meat of this text post See All That Preamble Shit is meant to deter people. it is a warning#'i am bring cringe down here do not look. wait for it to be art so it's harder to ignore'#'snap i thought you didnt like sharing things if you were gonna do something with it' ok well the delusions are strong tonight#and im too tired to do anything and ill prob be too brain dead to do anything tomorrow LET ME SPEAK#ok cringe time. i just think jo gradually accepting physical affection can be something so personal and good SUE. me.#and when i say 'gradually' it will be ten years before he accepts it and even so it'll be quietly#i think by his 20's hes beyond flinching/wincing at random contact- or at the very least he's very good at suppressing the reflex to#more so if its not something like a handshake- like just casual contact- i imagine he's more confused than anything#i had friends who were obsessed with like. hugs and holding hands and those things always had me like ???#i imagine Same Shit for him ☠️ 'this isnt a bad thing but this isnt something im familiar with What Is???? this feels weird.'#im gonna make myself throw up thinking anymore about this. i be making these hardened yakuza men sweet and sentimental#twitter really is decaying my brain....#let me be worse. cause i hope arakawa introducing that sort of physical affection rubs off on jo. no where near the same level as arakawa#but itd be SOO funny if like.. jo starts walking close enough to occasionally bump shoulders with him#i hope when arakawa starts nodding off in the car and ''''accidentally''' lays his head on his shoulder he stops tensing up#heaven forbid jo even rests his cheek against arakawa. id be ill#Let Me Clutch My Pearls For This One i hope when they hold hands jo starts to hold arakawa's a lil tighter than he used to#just very /very/ little things like that. very little things that'll still make me insane I'M DELU-LU TONIGHT SORRRYYYYY#expect more of this bullshit but. in art form in the future. whether it writing or drawing idk i just need it#i need it injected right into my veins its my weakness your honor TAKE ME AWAY i AM guilty for making the scary gangsters cute#ok im pissing off fr now bye.
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sobersturniolos · 4 months ago
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| GODSPEED,, chris.s
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warnings: angst, arguing, making up (?), asshole chris ( what have i done ), chris x fem!reader
“ I will always love you. How I do, Let go of a prayer for you. Just a sweet word. “ ~ frank ocean.
you and chris were finally face to face with each other. after finding out what he really thought of you. he was yelling and you were yelling too.
„why wont you just stop! i tried to apologize for being this way, you ignored me. i tried calling, you hung up. i tried texting and you blocked me. you fucking blocked me.” you yelled, having your arms crossed over your chest.
„ maybe because you’re fucking annoying. you keep trying to get back with me and its not gonna work out. it.will.never.work.out.” he said, calmly.
„maybe thats because you arent trying to make it work! all you do is yell at me.”
„what do you not get? i dont want it to 'work’ because i dont like you. nor do i love you.” he replied, causing you to walk out the door in tears.
you cried the entire way home, barley being able to breathe.
you passed by a minivan, which immediately made you think about chris and his brothers.
you just decided to speed away from the van, wiping your tears with the fabric of your clothes.
when you arrived back to your house, you tore down every single damn Polaroid on your wall. folding up all the shirts he gave you and putting them on the highest shelf in your closet. then, punching holes with a pen in those „sweet cards” he made about how much he „loved you”
you laid on the floor on your knees. sobbing thinking about what you couldve done to have a different ending.
after you sobbed until your eyes were red, you just decided to get up and go take a bath.
you turned on the shitty generic speaker you had, turning on a random playlist. and who wouldve believed that the song that reminds you so much of chris would play.
that one fucking frank ocean song.
you couldnt even get through the first verse without feeling tears stream down your face.
jesus, you couldnt even listen to frank ocean because it always reminded you of chris. the chris who once cared for you.
all that time down the drain.
a couple weeks later, you got a text from chris. fuck.
the text consisted of him asking you to come by the lake, you and his favorite place to watch the sunset.
you almost immediately walked out that door, destined to see him at least one last time.
when you made it there, you saw chris throwing rocks into the lake with a sad expression.
„chris?” you managed to blurt out after a moment of trying to speak.
he turned and almost knocked you over as he engulfed you in a hug. he apologized so quickly.
„im so sorry. i didnt know what went over me. you were the best girlfriend, im a asshole for making you feel bad, i still love yo-“ you cut him off.
„chris.” you said, coldly.
„ are you gonna hate me after this?” he whined in the crook of your neck.
„ i could never hate you. i was wrong too, i did things that were unforgivable.” you admitted.
„ so would you give me one more chance?” he asked, his voice shaky.
„ one more chance. “
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irndad · 2 years ago
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hi im back! okey so def can see spencer still wanting to hug and snuggle with you even when fighting or mad at each other. he even gets genuinely ??? confused ??? when you try to sleep on the couch instead of in bed at night. he holds you and either reader or him is like "i know we are snuggling right now but i am still super pissed off at you." lol i can just see it. he may be petty when mad but he wont stop trying to touch you bc its a biological need of his and no argument is more important than needing you 🥺
enjoy this I did it very fast!!!! ily
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He knows he’s not easy to be with sometimes. She would never say it, but it’s true. He doesn’t always get the jokes, sometimes pushes things too far and without even knowing it the ground gets pulled out from under him. 
And sleep- Sleep is so complicated. The memory of the first time she slept in his bed is etched into a place he could never erase. Spencer had always had trouble sleeping, either fear or alertness plaguing him into the late hours of the night. He used to lie awake, the kind of exhausted that feels like it’s seeping out of your bones, while constantly facts he’d unwittingly memorized about how sleep deprivation can cause brain damage. 
But then she’d come into his life. All soft words and gentle disposition, and there really is something magic about the way that everything just dissipates when her warm, soft body curves into his own. He’s slept well almost every night since. 
Except today, she isn’t coming to bed. 
It’s his fault, and he knows it. He wasn’t being fair. She hadn’t seen him for two weeks (and he hadn’t slept nearly enough without the weight of her form beside him since the last time he saw her) and she’d said that she wanted to be prioritized more. 
“I haven’t seen you in weeks, Spence!”
His head was killing him. Was it actually possible, for a headache to kill you? Her voice is audibly upset, and it’s alarming how he could be the cause of it. 
“Please,” he had said through labored effort, “Can we talk about this later?” 
“When would you like to talk about it? Because I don’t ever know if you’re leaving-“
“Do you even know what it is that I do?  That it’s not a choice for me to go? I have to do this. I can’t pick and choose and honestly, I don’t want to. If you don’t get that, we’re not doing what I thought we were doing.”
It sounds foreign, his own voice. And it’s after he’s said it that the sick taste reaches his throat because oh, that means the end. Her lovely face is unreadable for a brief moment, before something like grief splays over her expression.
It’s silent for a beat, and Spencer wishes he could swallow the words back up, rewind his life like a battered VHS tape where he’s not so stupid to mess up the one thing that’s ever brought him peace.
“You’re not yourself, Spencer. I’m gonna give you a minute.”
A minute, it turns out, is hours in the living room. She hadn’t left, thank fucking god, but she hadn’t come back. Of course she hadn’t. She wasn’t the one who needed to apologize. 
He’s just so tired. 
He thinks of her so-sweet voice, the curve of cheek- the junction of her neck and shoulder, and how much he would like to have her pressed against him. He pads out into the living room like a nervous puppy, and sees her sleeping on the olive green couch she had picked out. Her hair was splayed across the arm of the sofa, and her head laid on a throw pillow, their fuzziest blanket draped across her form. 
His first thought is how low he’s dropped, that he’s jealous of a blanket. 
His second his that she is not coming to bed. He sits beside her gingerly, and the scent of her body wash lingers in the air. 
“Are you planning on coming to bed?”
“I didn’t think you’d want me to.” He can tell she wants to sound cold, but the truth is much worse; she sounds guarded. 
“I always want you to.” It’s the most honest thing he’s said today, and it’s just not fair, how much he revolves around her. How he has waited 14 days, 13 hours and 34 minutes to hold her again and managed to ruin it within the first 20 minutes of having seen her again. He grabs her hand, soft and pliant against his in a way that almost makes his heart leap. “Please? Come to bed?”
Her gaze softens, the warmth and light that guides him back in her eyes, and he hopes his relief isn’t too visible. It’s then that she drinks him in. It feels too revealing like she can see right through him. His clothes are old. He’d rushed off the jet to see her, and the half moon circles under his eyes only lend to the unimpressive picture of himself. 
“Oh, sweetheart,” she breathes, touching the side of his face. He instantly leans into it, the contact more than he’d be willing to give up to save his dignity. “Come here.”
She wraps her arms around him, and he pulls her into his lap, squeezing her tight to his chest, like she might disappear. 
“I’m still mad at you,” she says, looking at him with such affection it betrays her words.
“That’s okay,” he says into her collarbone, “As long as I still have you.”
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fuckmymunson · 2 years ago
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Dom poly marauders x sub reader who can’t take anything seriously and always jokes around (not being a brat, maybe, kind yes)
One of them is pounding into her and asks “Who’s pussy is this?” / “Who this pussy belongs to?” and reader replies with “It’s my pussy, but we can share.” / “It belongs to me but we can have shared custody if you want.”
And they can’t get mad at her with that because damn, she’s lying there, propped on her elbows and making them laugh while being irreplaceably sexy and pretty, suddenly they all slip from their serious role and have a sex with only dom/sub dynamic vibes
Ugh yes— plus I can see it as a constant teasing and so many punishments!!!!😵‍💫. Send me asks/thoughts/blurbs! Airport time!
18+, smut, poly!Marauders, Dom/sub relationships, mwah. Ofc not proofread.
︵‿︵‿‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿ʚ♡ɞ‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿
You moan around Remus' hard cock while you feel Sirius literally rearranging your guts from behind. They both groan in pleasure and mock you endlessly, calling you names, making fun of your blissed out state… anything to break you from that petty bratty attitude.
"What was that, whore?" Remus asks as he yanks your hair back, removing his cock from the back of your throat.
"We asked you a question" Sirius adds with a harsh slap on your thigh, making you yelp. "Who this fucking wet pussy belongs to?"
You smile, almost wickedly.
"It belongs to me, but I'm generous enough to share it with you, just don't ask for custody"
Remus rolls his eyes, huffing annoyed. He hates the passion you have to push their buttons. Sirius on the other hand, a big hothead, only takes your answer as an offense. His hand slaps your ass so hard, that the teasing grin on your face falls and your eyes water quickly.
"I swear you are gonna regret those words" He whispers, snapping his hips against you again, harsh, fast, over and over.
The door opens, and James walks in. He's holding his tie in one hand and looks tired, he hated to clean the trophies room. But the moment he sees you naked on Remus' bed, moaning against his thigh, drooling and getting your pussy completely ruined, he feels like a new man. He throws his tie to his bed and quickly starts to remove his clothes, smiling.
"What's the punishment today?" He asks.
"Bitch won't stop being a brat" Sirius groans, wrapping a hand around your neck.
"Is that true?" James tilts his head, taking a seat at the edge of the shaky bed and tracing one of his fingers on your back, fingertips sliding over the bite marks all over your skin.
"Not m–my fault Sirius is a pussy" You mutter, mischievously. "But I g—guess you are what you eat"
"So under that logic, you are a dick?" Remus laughs, anger already far behind. He yanks your hair and guides his cock to your mouth again.
You nod, sucking him dry. Your left hand sneaks under the covers to wrap itself around James' cock, already rock hard. He hisses in delight and lets his head back.
You take a moment to breathe, tears falling down your eyes. "I am a huge dick, so big even Sirius would be jealous of me"
James and Remus bark a laugh, almost coughing. Between moans and giggles, the air changes a bit. Sirius shakes his head and hold a laugh too. He can't believe you sometimes.
"Good fucking luck you are pretty as hell" Sirius says behind you, caressing your sides. "I should slap the shit of you for those words"
"You w–wont" You moan, challenging him. "Pussy"
"He won't but I will" Remus breaks in and squeezes your cheeks, making you raise your head a bit to look at him. The position is a bit uncomfortable and you can feel your neck sore at the effort. "You think you are so funny, maybe you are, maybe not. You should be grateful I even let you suck my dick"
You gasp, offended. "I am—"
"Shut up" He interrupts you. "I'll let this little bratty outbreak slide this time, this time only" He pats your cheek gently. "Now open up, gonna spit inside that filthy bratty mouth of yours"
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I know it sucks im a whore—
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