#and every time I see how much essentials cost it feels like a gut punch lol

[lamortwrites]

Hormones are so fucking expensive man I hate it here

[smokeybrand]

The Cape and The Cowl

A friend of mine posted a meme questioning who would win a fight between Doctor Doom and Batman. My gut reaction is to say it’s real bad for Bruce but, as i thought about it more and more, i kind of feel like its not so cut-and-dry. There is a lot of nuance that needs to be considered between the two characters rather than just a “smash the action figured together” scenario. Of course, there is the surface stuff like how would they interact generally? What would the catalyst be in order to incite said conflict? Why would Doom even see Bruce as a threat? If you think about it objectively, an all things are even, to Vic, Batman is just a crazy person losing his are on crime in a raggedy ass city. Victor von Doom is a the reagent of an entire country with a GDP that rivals some superpowers in the MCU. Like, the USA has diplomatic relations with a blip in Eastern Europe, because Doom has the military power to wreck he US in open aggression. Latveria will lose in a prolonged conflict, that’s just a question of resources, but that little country would absolutely inflict upon the US in a slow bleed. Imagine the War on Terror but with competent leadership and actual, discipline, military strategy. Why the f*ck would Doom care what the f*ck is going on out in Jersey? More than that. the similarities between the two characters is staggering.

We all know the origin of Batman. We’ve seen that sh*t how many times now? It’s like getting a new Spider-Man joint and having to watch Uncle Ben die all over again. It’s trite at this point but so essential to the character, we need a refresher every time Bats shows up onscreen. That trauma informs everything he is, as it would if you watched your parents gunned down in cold blood as a child, and then laid with their still warm corpses for however long until the police came. What a lot of people don’t know is the origin of Doctor Doom. Being a villain, Doom rarely gets his motivations explored outside of some megalomaniac Dr. No type f*ckery. However, Victor von Doom is a person. He started out life as a happy kid and learned to be Doctor Doom, just like Bruce learned to be Batman. Doom is actually a refugee. True, Doom was born an aristocrat, but Latveria was overthrown when he was still young so he was never able to be raised in that level of opulence. His mom was also murdered before he was ten years old. Just like Bruce, Doom experienced a horrific truth that would color his world perspective for the rest of his life. Doom would eventually find his way to the US as he was brilliant. Like, unheard of intelligent and it would be his exposure to the US lifestyle, after years of conflict and struggle, which would make him realize how easy life could be if someone just did what was necessary. And then Reed happened.

Reed Richards was, is, a fulcrum in Vic’s life. They have a relationship similar to Batman an Superman but the opposite. Whereas Batman values Clark’s perspective because it helps him keep perspective, Vic finds Reed to be absurd. He sees Reed for who e is and doesn’t understand why no one else can. Reed Richards is a reckless, excitable, short-sighted, glory-hog. He is. If you read the character with any semblance of realism, you’d see that. Ho many times has Sue comments on how she and the rest of his family, take a backseat to science? How many times has Reed, himself, sacrificed a relationship or to, in service to the solution of an equation? Doom saw all of that in college. Reed represents the structural issues of the world and it frustrates Vic to no end. In some continuities, the genesis of Vic going full Doom rest on an accident Reed commits because of that shortsightedness. It goes a long way to checking Reeds ego and he does become a better person for it, but it was at the cost of scarring Vic for life, both physically and mentally. Yet another example of the system, ruining Doom’s life.

Bruce, after his trauma, has kept a strong support system. First and foremost, since day one, he had Alfred. Doom had no one. Bruce then built a family, adopting all of the children and surrounding himself with love. Doom’s one true love died and was dragged down to hell. We know this because he punches out Mephisto whenever he can. Also, his mom is down there, too. Bruce eventually met Diana and Kal, becoming fast friends and life long confidants. Outside of Catwoman, I think Diana makes for the perfect romantic partner of Bruce and that is shown in several continuities. Reed just reinforced Doom’s disgust with the machinations of the world, eventually further degrading Doom’s tenuous hold of his ability to trust in others, by psychically maiming him. The negative impact Reed had on Doom’s life is f*cking profound, man. I’m not saying Doom should have taken it as far as he did, but it’s hard to argue against trying to kill a dude who had ruined years of your work, destroyed you reputation, and physically maimed you forever. That doesn’t seem wholly outrageous to me. I think it’s called justifiable homicide? The only reason Doom stopped trying to murder Reed is because Valeria was born. Valeria became the first person Doom felt real affection for, since the death of his wife. I think Morgan le Fay could be another, but that might have just been a time-space booty call. Valeria Richards and her relationship with he Uncle Doom, is what gave Vic the strength to be better. Bruce had that love his entire life, even immediately after his darkest day. Doom went decades without it.

Up until Valeria was born, all Doom had was his time spent as a destitute street rat, struggling to survive, to inform him about life and the world at large. That brazen cruelty for sure emotionally crippled him in a lot of ways, I'm not even going to start to defend his arrogance or superiority complex, but trauma does that. That's why i think Bats would eventually come around. They've both seen the absolute worst of the world and, in a lot of ways, go about righting those wrongs in the same way. If you pay attention, and the writer is worth their salt, you'd see that Latveria is an autocratic socialist paradise. Latverians are among the most literate, healthy, and happy people in the 616. Jobs are plentiful and crime is almost non-existent. Mans even cured cancer, which he made available to the world, if those people choose to make the trip to Latveria for treatment. The world of 616, at large, likes to paint Vic as this evil despot but, if you interview a laymen of Latveria, they’ll sing his praises. Most people forget that, before Doom returned for his birthright, Latveria was a whole ass occupied state. Think the relationship between Israel and Palestine. Latveria was basically falling into doorknobs for Symkaria and pretending that they weren’t in an abusive relationship. Doom showed up and changed all that. It was a bloody f*cking conflict, for sure, and i am certain Vic committed war crimes, but the end result was a free Latveria with a strong international presence. Doom is a hero to those people but a villain to other nations because of how he rose to power and, more importantly, how independent he made hi country from the world system. Doom did what was necessary to free his people, a march too far for Bruce and that’s why Gotham is the way that it is.

People who don’t know the character like to paint Vic as ego-maniacal villain, and that was valid when comics were just "hero smash bad guy", but we've grown beyond that. Every pop culture interpretation of Doom, outside of the comics, has him as this stoic, arrogant, asshole, dictator bu that’s just not an accurate portrayal of how Doom is in a modern capacity. Vic is definitely an autocrat but he’s no dictator. He can be cruel at times to specific individuals but he is generally benevolent to his people. He doesn’t portray himself as a strongman but he does let it be known he’ll nuke anyone or anything if it means furthering his overall goals which, currently, is the safety and security of Latveria. His country isn’t a police state and his people are free to do as they please but their is a line, just like everywhere else in the world. Doom just has a shorter one and enforces that with extreme prejudice. I’m not going to sit here and say everything is great in Latveria, it’s definitely not, but it ain’t so hot in 616 America either. How many Civil Wars have they had? What about that whole  tidbit with Hydra Cap? There is nuance and gray nowadays, areas that both Bats and Doom comfortably call home. Batman is, objectively, not a pure hero. He is, at best, a chivalric anti-hero and similarly, Doom is more of an anti-villain than the mustache twirling, boogeyman, mastermind pop media portrays him to be. Batman and Doom are basically the same person, with the same motivations, only Doom is willing to go much, much, further than Bruce; A difference in method you an attribute to their respective upbringings.

If Doom had the same support system as Bruce, he’d create miracles. We’ve seen glimpses of that throughout the years. Dooms last run culminated with him essentially obliterating an entire universe where he had the support necessary to build a proper utopia. Our Doom couldn’t fathom the choices made by this variant Doom because of how broken he is. If Bruce was alone in his formative years like Victor, he’d commit atrocities. We’ve seen glimpses of that over they years, too. There are various narratives that explore just such a tragic turn of events, explored in the Death Metal series of books. Dawnbreaker immediately comes to mind. Bruce and victor are the same side of the same coins. It's literally a crap shoot as to which side of the alignment chart either leans. And as if to inform my point further, we just recently had Joker War. That book went a long way to exposing the absolute necessity of raw force, in order to properly “save”Gotham. Joker was able to completely dismantle that entire city by attacking the machinery put in lace to make it run. He effectively proved that The Batman was part of the problem and would never be the solution because Bruce doesn’t go far enough. He puts out fires but never address the sparks which start those blazes. He doesn’t go far enough. He never will. His code won’t allow him to. But Doom can. Doom did. Honestly, if you really want to keep it real, what is Bruce's endgame? What does a healthy Gotham City look like? It looks a lot like f*cking Latveria.

So to answer this question outright, i don’t think they even fight. The way this hypothetical was set up had three rounds: the first being a standard donnybrook, the second being prep time, and the last being god mode. To be perfectly honest with you, it wouldn't make it past the first round. If i had to say, with pedestrian or normie level understanding of he characters, Doom sweeps all categories. For Round one, Doom’s armor trumps all of Batman’s gadgets. For Round Two, Doom has more resources at his fingertips for prep. For Round The God Emperor Doom exists. He created several realities and killed a few Beyonders. Batman sat in a chair which gave him access to all the wisdom in the multiverse, and realized there were three Jokers. Doom all the way. My informed opinion as someone who adores both these character more than most would have me think there wouldn’t even be a conflict to begin with. I think they’d investigate the inciting catalyst, meet in person with intent to attack if necessary, size each other up until one of them made the proposal to just talk, they'd converse, and the fight would end with both of them walking away from each other with begrudging respect. Doom would admire Bruce's will and Bruce would understand the necessity of Doom's position in the world because, if you can make it make sense, Bruce will usually agree. Batman, for all of his shortcomings, is not naive to the world. He’s seen the same darkness as Doom. Doom, for all of his pompous arrogance, understands the struggle to maintain faith in those around you, even if that noble aspiration is misplaced. Bruce is one bad day away from Doom and Doom is a decades worth of days from being Bruce. They mirror each other and i think they’d see that, taking each other as cautionary tales before becoming collaborators. I don’t see them ever really becoming friends but i don't think they’d ever be true enemies.

[libralita]

Way of Kings Reread

This is my post Rhythm of War reread so if you don’t want spoilers for Rhythm of War then come back later. These are essentially just the notes I took during this read through so things like “Szeth is darkeyed” isn’t really stellar commentary but there are a few interesting things in here. Also this reread was like…very sporadic so I probably missed things.

“A man with a long grey and black beard slumped in the doorway, smiling foolishly—though whether from wine or a weak mind, Szeth could not tell.

‘Have you seen me?’ the man asked with slurred speech. He laughed then began to speak in gibberish, reaching for a wineskin.”—Page 23

 Oh god, it’s Jezrien. Nooooo.

I’m curious to see how Humans being voidbringers plays into Szeth’s punishment.

“Occasionally, light would flash without the thunder. The slaves would groan in terror at this, thinking about the Stormfather, the shades of the Lost Radiants, or the Voidbringers—all of which were said to haunt the most violent highstorms.”

Interesting that they’re called the “shades”, perhaps referring to cognitive shadows?

“Talenelat’Elin, bearer of all agonies.”

Wait…do people know about Taln?

“This room is called the Veil…That which comes before the Palanaeum itself. Both were here when the city was founded. Some think these chambers might have been cut by the Dawnsingers themselves.”

First of all, Veil, haha. Second, interesting bit of lore.

“Thaylens had their own systems of rank.”

I’d like to know what it is.

It’s very interesting that philosophy and history are feminine arts and yet the merchant is still trying to sell Shallan on a romance novel

I wonder if Yalb still has his drawing. It was probably ruined so that sucks.

“There, she used all her remaining sphere to fill of all nine colors and all three sizes.”

Hmmmmmmmm. Nine and three. Interesting

“Then he’d have someone to talk to in Damnation. They could reminisce about how terrible Bridge Four had been, and agree that eternal fires were much more pleasant.”

K…Kaladin please don’t joke about that.

“His ways were odd—though Lirin made certain that his son didn’t mix up the Heralds and the Lost Radiants, Kal had heard his father say that he thought the Voidbringers weren’t real. Ridiculous.”

RIP

“He reached the base of the slop, wind-driven rain pelting his face as if trying to shove him back toward the camp.”

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

“She looked exhausted. ‘These things are heavy!’ She lifted the leaf. ‘I brought it for you!’”

I love her so much I could cry.

Szeth is a dark eyed.

We need to get the void sphere back.

“It was fairly ordinary, a simple piece of rock with a few quartz crystals set into it and a rusty vein of iron on one side.”

Iron.

“‘Today,’ King Elhokar announced, riding beneath the bright open sky, ‘is an excellent day to slay a god. Wouldn’t you say’”

Owwwwwwwwww my heart

“One might say that gods, as a rule, should fear the Althei nobility. Most of us at least.”

Y’know…Sadeas has a point

Actually they should probably fear Taravangian.

Sadeas wears red plate. I always imagine him in green.

Shardplate is naturally slate gray. I wonder if it’s the same color as what your limbs go if they’re cut by a shardblade. Hmmmm.

“Adolin found himself wishing, passionately, that his father would do a little more these days to live up to that reputation.”

Adolin, sweet pie, NO

I miss Elhokar so much

Also the Thrill of Contest, that’s interesting.

“I felt like a youth again, chasing after your father on some ridiculous challenge.”

Dalinar, we all know that it was Gavilar chasing you

“There was someone watching me in the darkness that night.”

My poor baby…

“‘I defy you, creature!’ Elhokar screamed. ‘I claim your life! They will see their gods crushed, just as they will see their king dead at my feet! I defy you!’”

Elhokar…

“Adolin—stalwart as always—had dismounted beside the king. He tried to stop the claws, striking at them as they fell. Unfortunately, there were four claws and only one of Adolin.”

Hmmmm, Adolin v 4 is becoming a pattern.

“Dalinar should have been there to defend him. Only two things remained of his beloved brother, two things that Dalinar could protect in a hope to earn some form of redemption: Gavilar’s kingdom and Gavilar’s son.”

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

“Let me first assure you that the element is quite safe. I have found a good home for it. I protect its safety like I protect my own skin, you might say.”

It has been ten years and I still have no idea what this means.

“Kaladin punched Moash right in the gut, where he knew it would wind him. Moash gasped in shock, doubling over, and Kaladin stepped forward to grab him by the legs, slinging Moash over his shoulder.”

Ahhhhh I could read this paragraph over and over again.

“He worked himself ragged. In fact, he felt close to collapsing several times, but every time he did, he found a reserve of strength from somewhere.”

I wonder where.

“Rockbuds had opened nearby, their vines reaching out to lap up the beast’s blood.”

Gross.

Insult his son and the Blackthorn will peek through

“I had…things to be about.”

I don’t like the way Wit said that.

“You going to do Alethkar a favor and rid it of both of us?”

That is a very interesting line for Wit to say…Also concerning. Wit what are you up to?

It’s very interesting that without Sadeas and Gavilar, Dalinar has to learn how to be a politician. It’s clear that both men maneuver others while Dalinar is blunt force. Good character development, I really love it as a political scientist.

“Brother, follow the Codes tonight. There is something strange upon the winds.”

Hmmmmmmmmm, I think Gavilar was planning his death.

“We’d protect Gavilar’s son. No matter what the cost, no matter what other things came between us, we would protect Elhokar.”

…Would…Elhokar have died if Sadeas was still alive?

“The book was used by the Radiants as a kind of guidebook, a book of counsel on how to live their lives.”

That…something that I forgot. Dalinar maybe you should have some required reading in your Radiant generation.

It’s interesting that Shardplate and Rsyhadium have no problem with humans using them but shardblades do.

“Dalinar was shocked that he could remember the story word for word,”

Hmmmmmm

“Could he train himself out of freezing in battle like that?”

End me.

“You sure he’s not decayspren wearing a man’s skin?”

S…Syl…is that a problem we have to deal with?

“They break the land itself! They want it, but in their rage they will destroy it. Like the jealous man burns his rich things rather than let them be taken by his enemies! They come!”

The…humans?

“‘Hm,’ he said. ‘Yes. We’ll be getting right to that soon. It’ll be grand. Lots of prancing, sauntering, and er…’

‘Promenading?’ Yis the leatherworker offered.

‘Isn’t that a type of drink?’ Adolin asked.

‘Er, no, Brightlord. I’m fairly certain it’s another word for walking.’

‘Well, then,’ Adolin said. ‘We’ll do plenty of it too. Promenading. I always love a good promenading.’”

He and Shallan are truly made for each other.

“Highprince Aladar has begun to talk of taking a short vacation back to Althekar. I want to know if he’s serious.”

Oh?

It’s very interesting how Gavilar after death is portrayed as having grown weak and yet there’s so much reverence for him.

Three gods, huh?

It’s interesting that Dalinar can feel the thrill in these visions.

“It was a topaz entwined with a heliodor, both set into a fine metal framework, each stone as big as a man’s hand.”

Is that some kind of fabrial? Is she an edgedancer/truthwatcher? She seemed to have Stoneward shardplate. How confusing. I guess she could have borrowed Shardplate.

DABBID MY SON!

“‘Next time it could be you!’ he called. ‘What will you do if you’re the one that needs healing?’

‘I’ll die.’ Moash said, not even bothering to look back. ‘Out on the field, quickly, rather than back here over a week’s time.’”

Oh that would be so unfortunate.

REREADING THIS BOOK WITH THE TEFT SECTIONS OH OHHHHHHHHH BOY SUFFERING. LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE

“I was under the impression that you were going to aid the queen in protecting the king’s interests in Alethkar.”

That is interesting to think about. What would have happened in Navani had stayed in Alethkar? Did the Unmade compel Navani to go? Or would she have been under the influence of the Unmade?

“I have determined that the queen is sufficiently endowed with the requisite skills needed to hold Alethkar.”

Uhhhhhhhhhh

“‘Well, I suppose that’s all right,’ she said. ‘I kind of trust Sadeas.’”

Interesting. Also my son, my love, Elhokar...you are so dumb.

“‘You still argue he isn’t a bad king?’ Navani whispered. ‘My poor, distracted, oblivious boy.’”

HE COULD HAVE BEEN GREAT

Ishar is the herald of luck?

WAIT ROION! TURTLE MAN! My baby!

My god I sometimes forget that Dalinar has no fucking chill and no impulse control.

“The Almighty himself depended on the Alethi to train themselves in honorable battle so that when they died, they could join the Heralds’ army and win back the Tranquiline Halls.”

Is that…Honor’s influence or Odium’s? Or has Odium corrupted this idea? Because judging by Rhythm of War, Odium’s end goal was to raise an army from Roshar and then send them across the Cosmere.

“My sense of honor makes me easy to manipulate.”

Whaaaaaat? You Dalinar. Pffttttt Noooooo. Pfffftttttt.

“‘He is well, though you presence here is sorely missed. I’m certain he could use your counsel. He is relying heavily on Brightness Lalai to act as clerk.’

Perhaps that would make Jasnah return. There was little love lost between herself and Sadeas’s cousin, who was the king’s head scribe in he queen’s absence.”

First, there’s another Sadeas we must deal with besides Sadeas’s nephew that I’m sure will be around in arc 2. Second, interesting wonder where that drama stems from.

“They may be a little too stable. The world is changing outside, but the Shin seem determined to remain the same.”

Hmmmmmmmmmm

“Gavarah hadn’t reached her twentieth Weeping when she proposed the theory of the three realms.”

WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA. Lemme hear this theory, my dude.

“He reminds me of my uncle Dalinar. Earnest, sincere, concerned.” “We could do with more men like Taravangian,”

I…mmm….aw man…I…that’ll be a yikes for me.

“He found a half-finished bridge. It had eventually grown out of that one plank Kaladin had used.”

ASODFKJSLDFJSLDF JUST LIKE THE FOURTH BRIDGE

“Had something moved in the darkness?”

His spren?

“‘Roshone lets them know he finds them contemptible. And so they scramble to please him.

‘That makes no sense,’ Kal said.

‘It is the way of things,’ Lirin said, playing with one of the spheres on the table, rolling it beneath his fingers. ‘You’ll have to learn this, Kal. When men perceive the world as being right, we are content. But if we see a hole—a deficiency—we scramble to fill it.”

This feels like how Lirin is acting in Rhythm of War.

Y’know it really makes sense why Kabsal would be working for Thaidakar.

Is…Kabsal attempting to get Shallan to join the Ghostbloods? Rhythm of War makes me wonder how honest Kabsal was towards Shallan. Yeah, Jasnah thought Kabsal was just manipulating her but she didn’t say how she knew this.

“He smiled, then drew the bow across the edge of the metal plate, making it vibrate. The sand hopped and bounced, like tiny insects dropped onto something hot.

‘This,’ he said, ‘is called cymatics. The study of pattern that sounds make when interactive with a physical medium.’

As he drew the bow again, the plate made a sound, almost a pure note. It was actually enough to draw a single music spren, which spun for a moment in the air above him, then vanished. Kabsal finished, then gestured to the plate with a flourish.”

Well, Rhythm of War certainly made this more interesting.

“Bridgemen aren’t supposed to survive. There’s something about that. He wouldn’t be able to ask Lamaril. That man had gotten what he deserved, though. If Kaladin had the ability to choose, such would be the end of all lighteyes, the king included.

Your inner Moash is showing.

“I want you to go back into the barrack and tell the men to come out after the storm. Tell them to look up at me tied here. Tell them I’ll open my eyes and look back at them, and they’ll know that I survived.”

No wonder a religion might be forming around Kaladin.

“Teft lingered too, as if thinking to spend the storm with Kaladin. He eventually shook his head, muttering and joined the others. Kaladin thought he heard the man calling himself a coward.”—Page 517

Brandon Sanderson, leave me the fuck alone.

“‘Taking the Dawnsahrds, known to bind any creature voidish or mortal, he crawled up the steps crafted for Heralds, ten strides tall apiece, toward the grand temple above.’—From The Poem of Ista. I have found no modern explanation of what these ‘Dawnshards’ are. They seem ignored by scholars, though talk of them was obviously prevalent among those recording the early mythologies.”—Page 524

Wait…who’s he? And aw man this becomes more relevant in a few years.

“‘Then you’re not a murderer,’ Kaladin said.

‘Not for want of trying.’ Sigzil eyes grew distant. ‘I thought for certain I succeeded. It was not the wisest choice I made. My master…’

‘Is he the one you tried to kill?’

‘No.’”

We need some backstory.

Marabethia sounds similar to Twitter.

“It claimed that humming of all things, could make a Soulcasting more effective.”

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

“That isn’t the kind of thing the Dawnsingers did. They were healers, kindly spren by the Almighty to care for humans once were forced out of the Tranquiline Halls.”

Is…that right?

“‘We believe that the Voidbringers were real, Shallan. A scourge and plague.. A hundred times they came upon mankind. First casting us from the Tanquiline Halls, then trying to destroy us here on Roshar. They weren’t just spren that hid under rocks, then came out to steal someone’s laundry. They were creatures of terrible destructive power, forged in Damnation creature from hate.’

‘By whom?’ Shallan asked.

‘What?’

‘Who made them? I mean, the Almighty wasn’t likely to have ‘created something from hate.’ So what made them?’

‘Everything has its opposite, Shallan. The Almighty is a force of good. To balance his goodness, the cosmere needed the Voidbringers as his opposite.’”—Pages 634-635

Thaidakar’s reveal really makes Kabsal a more…suspicious character. Like how much does he actually know? How much does Thaidakar actually know? Also, I don’t know if Odium is the opposite of Honor. I guess we’d need all 16 shards names to compare.

“A city where people lived in gigantic, hollowed out stalactites hanging beneath a titanic sheltered ridge.”

EXCUSE ME WHAT

“‘I doubt many would disagree. But I mention these horrors for a purpose. You see, it has been my experience that no matter where you go, you will find some who abuse their power.’ He shrugged. ‘Eye color is not so odd a method, compared to many others I have seen. If you were to overthrow the lighteyes and place yourselves in power, Moash, I doubt that the world would be a very different place. The abuses would still happen. Simply to other people.’

Kaladin nodded slowly, but Moash shook his head. ‘No I’d change the world, Sigzil. And I mean to.’”

Hmmm, yeah that didn’t exactly work out.

“‘That makes you wiser, presumably?’

‘Damnation no,’ Teft said. ‘The only thing it proves is that I’ve more experience staying alive than you.’”

Brandon. Leave. Me. Alone.

“Cenn stopped wheezing. He convulsed once, eyes still open. ‘He watches!’ the boy hissed. ‘The black piper in the night. He holds us in his palm…playing a tune that no man can hear!’”—Page 671

Is…is that a reference to El?

“I’m sorry I drove you to suicide. Here’s some bread.”

How people on this website think Moash’s redemption arch is gonna go.

“‘…why Thaidakar would risk this?’ Amaram was saying, speaking in a soft voice. ‘But who else would it be? The Ghostbloos grow more bold.’”—Page 701

Jasnah was complaining last chapter how she hates being wrong but she was wrong about Shallan’s intentions and that Amaram is not as smart as he seems. Yeah, he’s wrong about who sent the shardbearer to kill him but if I was in the cosmere and someone tried to kill me, I would assume it was Thaidakar. On that note, holy fuck, I need to know what conversation prompted both Gavilar and Amaram to assume that someone trying to kill them had to be Thaidakar. I really hope that Gavilar’s pov is next for KOWT for his death so maybe we could get a conversation where they talk to Thaidakar through cube skype or maybe this avatar (whatever the hell that means.) God Rhythm of War makes this scene so much funnier.

“You’d have changed your mind. In a day or two, you’d have wanted the wealth and prestige—otehrs would have convinced you of it. You’d have demanded that I return them to you. It took hours to decide, but Restares is right—this is what must be done. For the good of Alethkar.”—Page 703

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa—this is why we reread—aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Kaladin is going to have some words with Restares.

What happened to Baxil and Av?

?????????????????????????? Why do these two Ardents know about the Physical/Cognitive/Spiritual realm?

“Eight weeks? Forty days of winter at once? That war rare.”—Page 728

Did the weather used to be more consistent on Roshar?

Oh god Rhythm of War has made the Recreance so hard to read.

“If I abandon my principles, then I become something far worse than they. A hypocrite.”—Page 741

A hypocrite is a just a man changing or something. I forget the quote.

“Have you been paying much attention to the conflict between the Tukari and the Emuli?”—Page 753

“And the Tukari are led by that god-priest of theirs, Tezim.”—Page 754

Look at the foreshadowing.

“‘Just as Hatham wishes his partner in negotiations to know of his goodwill, I wish you to know of our goodwill toward you, Brightlord.’

Dalinar frowned. He’d never had much to do with the ardents—his devotary was simple and straightforward. Dalinar got his fill of politics with the court; he had little desire to find more religion. ‘Why? What should it matter if I have goodwill toward you?’

The ardent smiled. ‘We will speak with you again.’ He bowed low and withdrew.”—Pages 756-757

OKAY AT FIRST I THOUGHT THIS WAS FUNNY BECAUSE THE ARDENTS GET VERY MIFFED AT DALINAR IN OATHBRINGER BUT “we” HOLY SHIT THAT’S ONE OF BUG PEOPLE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I can imagine why this bug man wants his goodwill because they’re pretty sure he’ll destroy them.

“‘This thing will not happen,’ Rock said. ‘Is impossible to get sphere out of the chasms.’

‘We could swallow them,’ Moash said.

‘You would choke. Spheres are too big, eh?’

‘I’ll better I could do it,’ Moash said. His eyes glittering, reflecting the verdant Stormlight. ‘That’s more money than I’ve ever seen. It’s worth the risk.’”—Page 766

I swear to god, one of these days Moash is going to swallow a sphere.

“You call him the Stormfather, here in Alethkar.”

So people in Alethkar think that Jezerin and the Stormfather are the same person?

“Light grows so distant. The storm never stops. I am broken, and all around me have died. I weep for the end of all things. He has won. Oh, he has beaten us.”

O…Oh man, I hope this isn’t foreshadowing for KOWT.

“We should have expected this, Dalinar thought. We started bringing two armies to a plateau, so they have done the same.”—Page 781

Interesting that Kaladin thought about this when fighting the Fused by Dalinar didn’t fighting the Listeners

“When other men failed, a field of crops got worms in them. When a surgeon failed someone died.”

Well…if your crops fail then you could very much cause a town to starve to death.

“Though there was one thing he clung to. An excuse, perhaps, like the dead emperor. It was the soul of the wretch. Apathy. The belief that nothing was his fault, the belief that he couldn’t change anything. If a man was cursed, or believe he didn’t have to care, then he didn’t need to hurt when he failed. Those failures couldn’t have been prevented. Someone or something else had ordained them.”

Those are some fucking foils right there.

“They watch me. Always. Waiting. I see their face in mirrors. Symbols, twisted, inhuman…”

Babbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbby

“I wish to sleep. I know now why you do what you do, and I hate you for it. I will not speak of the truths I see.”

The sibling?

“I’d surrendered my plans, but you’ve returned them to me. I’ll guard you with my life, Kaladin. I swear it to you, by the blood of my fathers.”—Page 881

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

LISTEN I KNOW ELHOKAR IS AN IDIOT BUT HE’S MY IDIOT

“The further you look, the more pieces that wind breaks into.”—Page 995

That’s interesting

“A champion could work well for you, but it is not certain. And…without the Dawnshards…”—Page 997

Well, we’ll see how Rysn plays into this.

[bluestockingbooks]

Hello booklovers and bluestockings, friends and readers,Kris Nelson, owner of Bluestocking Books, San Diego,

writing to you I have magic and books on my mind. My usual favorite busy Thanksgiving & Shop Small Weekend is coming up while Covid is at its worst. Boooo! Surreal & ironic, during this pandemic our block is more popular than it has been in years; even the Pernicano's front on 5th Avenue got brightly painted and cleaned. Still, my darkest days in 2020 are WAY better than the rise-of-the-internet-giant years. Even though Covid rages on, we are being discovered by new shoppers, both on the street and online, folks who prefer to shop small and keep dollars local.

BsB is operating 11am-6pm daily. Most requests are phoned or emailed in - I, or Mary or Dawn, check each title and see what we have and what we can get. We pull from the shelves & set up pre-orders, ship USPS or run them up to you at our door, or to your car. We keep a 'lil table at the front door between us and the germ-filled world: we greet and grant entry to the fully masked, keeping capacity at 5-6 + us. Once we are full, no one comes in until somebody leaves. Every purchase is tailored to be as safe and convenient as possible. 

I could not do this without Mary & Dawn's hard work helping out - Thanks Again, Ladies!! We 3 are feeling incredibly appreciative to be employed doing what we love most right now - helping people find books. We know and suggest titles for all ages. Especially during the pandemic, hearing a human voice or viewing artwork on the page resonates and connects. Books are full of great examples of human nature and its amazing resilience, patience, and ability to survive. I am now witnessing how learning does not stop. That you all are asking for & purchasing books every day is a most gratifying amazement - I am bursting proud when you call me essential. 

The alternative to Amazon.com, Bookshop.org is the feel-good book news of 2020. They do a secure, easy cart & keep information as does Amazon, but they are not: this owner specifically wanted to support existing independent bookstores. When you order and choose us as "your bookstore" on the site, we are credited with the $ale as if you had called us directly. Seriously - is that not the nicest thing you've heard in a while? I am excited to be a part of it, and blown away by this kindness. The cash infusions could not have come at a better time for bookstores like this one, trying to make expenses while keeping safe during a global pandemic.  

My stability for fall: new blue twinkly lights in the windows and Baby Book Drive. As always we're collecting funds and selling / accepting appropriate books for donation to a beloved local effort: the UCSD High-Risk Infant Follow-Up Program, via Reach Out and Read. Babies are given a book from doctor at their check-ups while parents learn that the cuddling up to read stimulates brain growth, helping baby learn to interact. One doctor who works with ROAR shared with us that babies are talking more on the very next visit after receiving a book(!) Anyone can help change a life with a book costing from $4.99-$16.99. We have free IBD & other schwag for supporters - see the website for details. Seeing people contribute to our big box is a big sweetness gut-punch every time. 

See how I am surrounded by magic and hope here in the bookshop, even though it's a global quarantine?!? People shopping us even though it's Covid, Bookshop.org creating payback for indie bookstores, strangers supplying babies & parents (who really need it!) with a book and some help, and most hopeful of all - your patronage here. I care for the books in this space, but YOU are the key ingredient to a delightful bookstore. Your curious minds wanting the latest books for yourselves and friends, for the babies and kids in your lives, and making that special effort to call here instead of ordering it on Amazon or B&N - this is amazing and sustaining me in every way, every day. Your social shopping selves, happily masked and as considerate of our health as much as your own, exclaiming as you see (the weird and wonderful array of mostly used & some new) books in person - it makes keeping the space make sense again.

THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR PATRONAGE...we are all gonna get through this! 

I am reminded of the Velveteen Rabbit (c1922 by Margery Williams)... after many years of being loved as a sawdust-stuffed toy, sometimes forgotten and eventually a little threadbare, he was always a favorite. Then things did not make sense, he couldn't fit in, and then all he ever knew was gone, nothing would be the same again. Yet he found he could move - he twitched and reached out, and he was alive, his heart began beating. He hopped and darted into a new life that wasn't the same, nor did it need to be.  Okey this 2 tons o'books ain't hopping anywhere, but my heart beats inside of me today for the future bookstore. I work for BsB to have what every reader wants, a next chapter. You all are the heroes in the epic book-romance surrounding me - thanks for making Bluestocking Books a part of your story    Hope to help you all soon with your next read, gift or project. Best Holiday Wishes from me and the staff, our book-elves, helper-friends, and the benevolent bookshop ghosts. Happiness, Wellness, Chances to Notice the simple wonderful things, and Great Reading to You! -Kris

Bluestocking Books / (619) 296-1424 | info@bluestockingbooks.combluestockingbooks.comPlease add us to your email address book for best service!

[terrifictomholland]

I have a request, could you do a au where the reader is more of a bad girl and gets caught in detention with Peter Parker, they both dislike each other at first hearing all about each others reputations but soon band together to escape out of detention stealing their phones while the teacher is sleeping, they exchange numbers and at school the next day the reader acts flirty to him and the whole school is basically shocked (Ned and mj mostly) anyways thnx and luv u 💕

Hi! Im so so sorry for how long this has taken, but it’s here now and I hope you’ll enjoy it!  💕 I love you too! 

You'd been caught graffiti-ing on school property, earning you once again, detention. With a heavy sigh you plonked down in your regular chair in the classroom where the detention was held. You surveyed around the room, seeing a few kids spread out across the room, until your eyes landed on one Mr. Peter Parker, now you were intrigued as to why he was there. You smirked slightly, getting up, heading over to him and sitting down in front of him on his bench, seeing the way he looked up at you with a slight scowl.

"Aw did someone forget to bring the good teacher an apple this morning?" you mocked, hearing you antagonize him only made his scowl deepen. It was positively adorable. "Shut up," he growled and you let out a giggle, 

"That's the best comeback so far you've come up with," you commended and he rolled his eyes, "So why are you in here? Aren't you the school goody-two-shoes?" you commented casually watching him tense up from the corner of your eye making you smirk. 

You loved pushing his buttons seeing how easily he riled up. "None of your business," he bit out clearly flustered and you shrugged getting off his desk going back to your usual seat. 

You'd decorated a seat which you always sat at, always adding to it, doodling straight onto the desk. You didn't bother with any homework, believe it or not you had a bit of a photographic memory, not that you let anyone know that. You had crafted your persona very carefully to make it seem like you didn't give a flying fuck about anyone or anything. 

Essentially you acted like a bitch. It wasn't hard to fool everyone either seeing as how you almost always wore black and every single pair of jeans had rips in them. You were a bit goth with your looks, a piercing here and there and a few small random tattoos on your arms. Deep down, it wasn't who you were, but you'd spent a lot of your childhood being put through bullying, so when you transferred schools to Midtown it was like turning a new page and beginning a new chapter. 

At your old school you'd been bullied over being a straight A student and being a teachers pet so now you were rebelling from that with all your might.

The first time you'd laid eyes on Peter Parker he reminded you so much of the girl you were at your old school. The shy, sensitive, always eager to please, naive and doe-eyed girl and it brought up ugly memories for you because he represented all of the things you once had before those bullies came and made you their victim and full of bitterness. 

You used to be a glass half full kind of girl, now you were a glass half empty kind of girl instead.   That wasn't to say you hadn't gone to therapy to process and deal with your bullying, you had. Extensively so, but you were still having a hard time letting go of grudges. 

Which also made it more difficult for you to make friends once you had moved to Midtown, you only really had one friend and that was MJ. She shared the same kind of self-deprecating humour, though there was a lightness to her which you saw in yourself too, and just her way of looking at the world intrigued you.

 Of course the two of you easily and quickly bonded because of your shared likes and interests. That was how you had met Peter and Ned, Peter's best friend in the whole world, through MJ. You broke out of your doodling, looking at the clock which hung on the wall, seeing that only 20 minutes had passed. You let out an insufferable sigh, scooting further down in your seat. 

You vaguely felt someone watching you so you turned your head seeing Peter staring at you with an intensity you didn't even know the boy had in him. It shocked and pleased you at the same time. His gaze never wavered as you met his, mouthing "what?" to him seeing how his nerves almost got the better of him. In true Peter fashion, he looked around him before throwing a wadded up piece of paper to you. 

You couldn't help the eye roll that escaped, was he five years old? Sending you actual notes in detention? You unfolded the paper seeing in a relatively neat handwriting play hooky? Your eyebrows went up to your hairline and you weren't far from falling off your actual chair. Peter Parker wanted to play hooky?

Your eyes met his with an abundance of mischief, giving him a nod and you skipped over to his desk once more, "What's the game plan Parker?" you asked seriously, seeing the way he gulped and let his eyes dart around the room for a way out. "Well uh, we could use the front door?" he squeaked, you could practically see the sweat drip down his temples and you hummed, "well that's not very creative," you said slightly dismissively and he huffed. "Does it have to be creative? Mr. Dell is already fast asleep," he countered and you grinned at him proudly, "Fucking finally Parker, there we go!" you cheered grabbing his hand letting him almost trip over his chair as he grabbed his backpack. You easily fished your phones out of the box Mr. Dell had on the desk, the two of you slipping out of detention relatively unnoticed. 

The kids who were in there didn't give two shits who came or left. "Hey what's that supposed to mean?" he asked defensively as the two of you left school ground and you let out a groan, significantly slowing your pace as you walked, turning to face him seeing how uptight he was. "That you're finally showing some back bone! Or, in a much more crass way of putting it, you finally grew a pair," you deadpanned seeing him flush, 

"What'd you do this time to end up in detention?" was what came out of his mouth. You lifted a shoulder up in a half-shrug, "I improved the school." "Meaning?" he implored and you let out a small giggle, "Graffiti-ing," "What awful and horrible crime did you do?" you asked before he had a chance to say anything about your illicit business. 

You saw him wringing his hands uncomfortably and swallow harshly as couple of times, his eyes darting everywhere but on you.

Without a reason why or knowing why, you placed a gentle hand on his shoulder seeing him jump up at the unexpected touch. "Shit, what did you do?" you asked worriedly, all of your pretenses dropping and you found yourself feeling genuinely concerned for him, it was obviously something bad judging by the way he was acting. "I uh...um, I might've punched Flash," he started meekly, "In the face," he rushed out and you weren't faking your reaction this time, your eyes wide as saucers. "Nice," you complimented seeing him looking at you both horrified and preening at your praise. Hmm, interesting.

"I've wanted to deck that guy since I first saw him," you admitted and Peter did the most surprising thing yet. He fucking laughed.  Like full on laughed, knee-slapping kind of laughter. "Are you sure he didn't deck you?" you questioned seeing his reaction as he wiped his eyes finally settling down. "I'm quite sure he didn't. I'm far too aware of him ever getting the upper hand," he said confidently which just stumped you. Getting the upper hand? "What are you talking about?" you were even more confused, watching him with furrowed brows. 

He turned serious now and chewed his lip, "Nothing," he said at last. He could tell you didn't buy it, but you let it go for now. "Where did you have in mind we go?" you asked instead, "W-why do I get to decide that?" he asked suddenly back to his nervous self, "Because you were the one who wanted to play hooky so you get to come up where to go," "Oh...well, have you ever gotten the subs from Mr. Delmar’s deli?" he asked and you felt your mouth tug up in a grin, "Good thinking Parker," you praised and he gave you one of his own grins.

It was like a punch to your gut, his smile was fucking blinding, heat crept up in your stomach at the sight of it and you felt your cheeks heat up which you tried to hide - no one could know that you thought Peter was hot. He didn't notice your inner turmoil as he walked a few steps in front of you, chitchatting about the most random things. 

Something about some science-y thing which you honestly couldn't keep up with right now as you tried to clear your head.  Once you saw the Delmar's Deli sign you felt yourself let out a sigh of relief. "What do you want?" Peter turned to you, you rattled off your usual, hearing Peter get the same. Offering you a tiny smile and he pulled wallet out, paying for the both of you, "I can get my own food," you said but it was in vain, "Consider it my way of saying thanks for playing hooky with me," he let out a small laughter which made butterflies erupt in your stomach and you gave him a soft smile in return. 

"Thank you," you said earnestly seeing the tips of his ears turn red, "I think that's the first time you've ever been nice to me," he observed and it felt like he doused you with a bucket of water at that. Did he think you were mean and cruel? He did sense something wrong now and he watched you with an imperceptible look, "Hey, what's wrong?" he asked quietly as you got your subs. 

The two of you left and started walking around aimlessly. "Do you think I'm mean?" you asked quietly feeling yourself overcome with guilt, "I think you're misunderstood," well..fuck, he saw pretty much right through you. "That wasn't an answer," you replied weakly.

"Well you've never been very civil toward me," he told you, avoiding your gaze at all costs, as if it was paining him to be this blunt to you, but you needed him to be. "I..i'm sorry," you said softly feeling remorse take over. "I just wanna know why? What did I do to you?" he asked and finally looked at you. You almost wished he'd look away because his gaze left you feeling very naked. Even though you were fully clothed. 

"You represent something I have tried for a long time to run away from," you said playing with your chipped nail polish.

"What's that?" of course he'd want to know, which you couldn't blame him but you felt very exposed, telling the one person you never thought you'd share your whole life story to, but here you were. 

So, you told him everything. About your first school, your aspirations, the bullies and how they put out your light and positivity and most importantly, your spirit.  Peter sat there beside you quietly as you told him your story, and once you were finished you sneaked a glance at him. "You're not alone," he said after a moment and you kept watching him closely, swallowing as you waited for him to continue, "With being bullied I mean," he licked his lips and your eyes zeroed in on them, "I am too in a way by Flash," he said and you felt your heart crack.

"I'm sorry," he looked at you now giving you a small smile, "It's okay," he said gently and you shut your eyes, "I felt envious of you..that you could keep on being the person you are, while I had to change," you admitted after a few minutes of a relatively comfortable silence. "Who says you can't be that person again?" you met his gaze vulnerably, 

"Me, that's who," "Why not?"   "I just can't," you said quietly and your heart beat picked up when he put his hand over yours. "I hope one day you can," was all he said and it made tears spring to your eyes. You hated getting vulnerable in front of people, let alone Peter Parker, your one sworn enemy who wasn't your enemy at all anymore. 

You wiped your eyes sneakily, but your sniffle gave you away still he didn't say anything which you appreciated. "I found you really annoying," you sniffled slightly and his eyebrows quirked up, "Oh?" "Because you constantly brag about the Stark internship," you mumbled, being only slightly jealous of him. He let out a tiny giggle. Yes, a giggle. "Are you jealous?" he teased and you scoffed, "What? No of course not," "Liar liar pants on fire," he smirked, all you wanted to do was kiss the stupid smirk off his face. Wait what? "You are," he said smugly looking at you and you felt your cheeks turn crimson. 

When did you decide you wanted to kiss Peter? "Fine...yes, I am," you said seeing the way the smirk returned and it made desire burn in your belly.  "You have no reason to be," he said after a moment. You looked at him seeing the earnest in them. "Hey," he mumbled after a little while, his hand snaking into yours holding it and it made your heart start beating faster,

 "Thanks for trusting me enough to tell me about what you've been through," he said with such honesty and sincerity it made tears well up in your eyes again, "Thanks for letting me talk," you offered softly and the way his face lit up when he smiled lit you up from the inside out. "My pleasure," he smiled.

You leaned forward, closer to his face hearing the way his breath hitched and you felt as though your heart was going to burst out of your rib cage, but before you lost your nerve you very gently pressed your lips against his. His hand coming up, grasping you by the back of your head moving his lips against yours.  You held onto his shoulders, loving the way he held onto you, keeping you close to him.

The two of you got lost in the kiss, tongues battling it out and exploring each others mouths, before eventually pulling apart. You kept your eyes shut just reveling in the way your lips were tingling and the calmness you felt wash over you. "That was fun," Peter said and you looked up at him seeing his cheeks turn pink and he was looking at you bashfully making you laugh, 

"It was, we should do it more often." you winked and he let out a shy smile, nodding. "How about we swap phone numbers? M-maybe we could do this again some time?" he asked nervously and you couldn't help your grin, "This or the kissing?" you teased seeing his cheeks turn even more red. "U-um both," he said shyly and you couldn't stop the grin from getting even wider. You wordlessly handed him your phone seeing the way his eyes lit up and he easily added his number, fingers flying over the buttons. "I'll send a text to myself," he said bashfully and you nodded in encouragement.

"Well you're just full of surprises aren't you Parker?" you smirked and he looked at you tensely for a second, "W-what?" he squeaked, "Taking charge and asking for my number, hell you're even kissing me," you teased and he relaxed letting out a small laugh, rubbing the back of his neck. "Do you uhm, wanna do that again?" "Do what?" you played dumb just to see what he'd do. He let out a nervous breath before holding your face in his hands, kissing you slowly.  Chapped lips moving against yours firmly and with pressure. You gripped onto the back of his head letting him lead and take charge of the kiss.

Oh yeah, you were definitely doing this again.

                                                       ---- The next day when you arrived at school, there was a slight difference today. 

You'd taken some of Peter's advice on board, and you begun the day with brighter clothes, a simple pale blue dress. It wasn't a lot but it was a start. You could feel the gaze of everyone as you walked the halls in school, but you kept your head held high and focused on Peter, MJ and Ned at the end of the hallway, by all of your lockers. 

You couldn't help but the smile that took over your face seeing Peter there, remembering yesterday. "Hi handsome," you grinned, loving the way his cheeks turned scarlet, "Hey," he said, eyes darting around no doubt seeing the shocked expressions on Ned and MJ's faces. 

It didn't even come close to the shock when you walked over to him with intent, kissing him deeply, pushing him up against the lockers. Vaguely, you heard everyone whispering and gasping that the two almost arch-enemies of the school were making out. Once you pulled away, seeing his wide eyes and swollen lips, "Having a good day?" you asked sweetly and he looked at you in a daze. "i-it's uh, it's pretty good yeah," he stuttered making you smile, "Good, how about we make it even better? Maybe play hooky?"

[sneakronicity]

Chapters: 3/? Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov, Clint Barton & James "Rhodey" Rhodes, Clint Barton & Wanda Maximoff, Scott Lang/Hope Van Dyne Characters: Clint Barton, Natasha Romanov (Marvel), James "Rhodey" Rhodes, Sam Wilson (Marvel), Scott Lang, Hope Van Dyne, Wanda Maximoff, Bruce Banner, Steve Rogers, Hank Pym, Janet Van Dyne, Luis (Ant-Man movies), L*ura B*rton (but only briefly promise) Additional Tags: Post-Canon Fix-It, Fix-It, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Divorced Clint Barton Summary:

A few weeks after the snap is reversed, Clint is struggling to fit back into his old life. He's not the same person he was five years ago, and he can't just go back to how things were, so he makes a drastic change and tries to find new purpose in a world without Natasha.

But what if he doesn't have to? What if there's a way to get her back?

Post Endgame fix-it fic

~~~~~

The cafe was quiet, with only a few scattered tables occupied by people who looked like they had chosen it for that very reason.  Clint certainly had.  It had just reopened after five years of sitting vacant, and had yet to regain all its capabilities let alone its clientele.

How many businesses were there out there just like this one?  Stuck in the past and trying to pick up where they left off when the world moved on without them?  How many would fail?  How many had been repurposed while the owners were blipped?  Everyone was back now, but adjusting to this might be even harder than it had been to adjust to them being gone. Some people had never moved on and had welcomed the return, but what of the people who had?  Past and present colliding couldn’t be easy to deal with, and even those in the former group like Clint had found picking up again impossible.

Staring thoughtfully out the window, he saw Wanda crossing the street toward the cafe, the sun gleaming on her hair making it glow like fire, and for a moment another redhead was brought to mind.  The shade is all wrong, he thought, ignoring the pain in his heart and rising to his feet to greet her as she approached.

“Clint, it’s good to see you,” she said, wrapping her arms around him.  He noted how her smile didn’t reach her eyes, and how the hug felt almost absent, like part of a routine with no feeling behind it.

“Sorry, it's been a while,” he apologized.  He had called her when he’d moved to the city, told her what had happened, but this was the first time he’d seen her since Tony’s funeral.  Taking his seat again, he surveyed her quickly as she ordered her coffee, then asked for a refill himself. She looked thinner, sharper, like her features had been carved from stone.  “You look good,” he said anyway.

This time when she smiled it was slightly more genuine, like she was still in there somewhere, just sleeping.  “So do you,” she replied, knowing full well he was lying so doing the same in return.  “Tired of the mohawk?”

Clint chuckled self consciously, rubbing the side of his head where they hair had grown back in.  “Yeah, well… it’s a pain to keep up.”  The waitress arrived with their coffee and they took a moment to just try to relax in each other’s company.  It was slightly easier now that the ice was broken.  “How have you been?” He asked eventually.  He knew it was a stupid question, obviously she wasn’t doing well, but it was what one asked after not seeing each other for some time.  Or any time really,  Standard small talk.

She seemed to take his question more seriously though, and contemplated it longer than he expected.  “Every once in a while I have a moment where I think maybe I will get through this and move on again, but it always fades,” she replied, eyes fixed somewhere outside the large window.  

Wanda was so young, but had lost so much in so few years.  Her parents, her brother, her lover, her friend.  It was too much for one person, and it wasn’t fair that she had to go through this.  She has nothing and you have everything, yet you throw it all away. He hated the thought, the guilt.  Would he ever be able to be around most of his friends again without this nagging guilt? When Wanda had lost Pietro it had almost tore her apart, but she had been so strong, had turned her pain into good instead of letting the darkness consume her like he had.  She was the one who deserved her loved ones back, who deserved to be happy, to live with more than just regret and loss.  

When Clint looked up at her again he found her studying him with a piercing gaze, like she could see deep down into his soul, see the ugliness, the rot that was eating him up from the inside.  

He looked away.

“The offer still stands.  If you wanna come back to the Avengers, we could use the help getting everything back up and running smoothly again,” he said, clearing his throat.  What if she secretly hated him? If she resented him for getting his family back while hers was gone forever?  But not Natasha; Natasha they had both lost.

“I appreciate it,” Wanda replied evenly, her voice not cold, but not warm either.  “But I need to be on my own right now.”  She paused for a long moment, and when she continued it was with the first hint of emotion in her voice,  “I might travel for a few weeks.  There are too many memories… maybe going somewhere I have not been will help.”

Clint got that.  Despite what he was doing for the Avengers, his words to Rhodey about helping, he had yet to set foot back on the destroyed base.  He wasn’t quite ready to face that yet, but he would have to soon.  “I could go with you… if you wanted,” he said quietly, more a plea than an offer.

The wall she had built up between them seemed to crumble then, even if only a little, and she reached across the table and took his hand.  “You are needed here,” she said, a faint but affectionate smile on her lips, “But I appreciate the offer.”

Laying his free hand over hers, Clint squeezed it gently.  He wasn’t so sure he was needed anywhere, maybe he never had been, but he didn’t voice this. He had lost Natasha, but Wanda had lost pretty much everyone.  Everyone except for him.  And it was so easy to forget that while it had been over five years for him, for Wanda it had been only weeks since Vision’s death.  “Just know the offer is always there. Whenever you need me, I’m here.”

“Thank you, Clint,” she said softly, her eyes slightly wet.  Maybe she was a bit distant, a bit cut off from her emotions, but he knew Wanda was still in there, he just had to coax her out.  And he had meant his words, he would be there for her no matter what.  “I do not know how I would have gotten through losing Pietro without you, or the others.  We must stick together, yes?”

“Yes,” he replied without hesitation.  When Pietro had died she had had an army to rally around her, but now who was left?  He and Sam were probably the only ones she had spent any amount of time with left, unless she wanted to go hang out at the old folks home or wherever it was that Steve had taken up residence.  He had essentially abandoned her, abandoned all of them, but Clint wasn’t quite ready to work through his feelings on that whole issue yet.

“Then you know I am here for you as well,” Wanda continued.  Clint nodded, figuring that was acknowledgement enough, but she wasn’t finished.  “She would be proud of you.”

The words were supposed to be comforting, but they hit him like a sucker punch to the gut, knocking all the air from his lungs.  How could she be proud?  Natasha had given her life for him so he could get his family back, and he was throwing that second chance away.  The cost had been too great.  

Wanda could clearly read his thoughts written all over his face and squeezed his hand harder.  “Above all else she would want you to be happy, and would be proud of you for taking the needed steps.  And trying to fill her shoes on the team as you are doing.”

Clint chuckled a little bitterly and shook his head.  “No one can fill her shoes, least of all me.”  For five years it had come down to Natasha.  The rest of her original team had left her holding the ball, but she never once dropped it.  She kept everything going, proved to be the leader he had always known she could be. She deserved to be here now, the official leader of the new wave of Avengers.  Clint was a poor substitute in her wake.  “But I have to try.  Everything she worked for… I have to keep it together.  For her.”

“It is why we keep going,” Wanda agreed.  “For all of those we have lost.”

Clint studied her for a long moment before smirking half heartedly.  “How’d you get so wise?  I’m the old guy here, you’re making me look bad.”

Her smile in return was soft and real, like the one he remembered from all those years ago.  “You do not need me for that.”

A joke?  An actual joke?  Despite trying to look wounded, Clint couldn’t help but grin back.  He hadn’t just been mourning his family those five years, but Wanda too.  Her brother had given his life to save Clint, and there was nothing he could ever do to make it up to her, but he had adopted her into his heart, made her an honorary part of his family, even if he never voiced it.  She was so strong, so resilient, but he worried. How much was too much? Everyone had a breaking point, he was a walking example of that.  But if she could still joke around he had to believe she hadn’t reached hers yet.  She resembled Natasha in that manner.  “Ohhhh, I see how it is.  Kick me while I’m down.  I get it.”

“You make such an easy target,” she replied, and for a moment it was just like old times.  Wanda wasn’t much for joking around, she was one of the more stoic members of the team, but Clint seemed to bring out her playful side more than the others.  He took pride in that, same as how he had always prided himself in being the one who could make Natasha laugh.  Not a polite chuckle, or something soft and breathy, but a full on belly laugh. It had been beautiful, and rare, and he didn’t know another person who could accomplish it.  Had been able to accomplish it.  Damn it.

“Well if I’m expected to take a beating right now, I might as well risk trying the pancakes here as well.  Not sure they’re back up to snuff yet,” Clint said, signalling the waitress.  “You in?” Maybe he’d even throw in a side of bacon.  It would be the first solid meal he’d had in weeks, and if he ended up with food poisoning it would just be his luck, honestly.

“Why not.”

If only it could always be like this.  If only they could forget all the loss and pain and heartache and just enjoy the day, and each other’s company.  Talk about banal subjects like the weather, or some stupid tv show.  If only the world, or the universe in this case, were a kinder place.  No crazies with god complexes trying to rule it or ruin it. Just peace, and happiness, with everyone they loved around to share it.

If only.

[sanpatron]

I don’t particularly know why it’s taken this long for me to realize the full extent of the Boss’s betrayal at the hands of Julius. I knew it was fucked, I knew it had affected him greatly, but I never truly sat down and really dove into just how horrendous it actually was.

There have been plenty of posts I’ve read from people I know who’ve examined this, who’ve really taken their time to dive headfirst into what it all means and really word it in a way where you can truly understand the extent of it all. It’s in reading these posts that I’ve decided to more or less compose it all in my own post in regards to my Boss. A way to really showcase the shit he went through and how it drastically changed him as a person.

Django joined the gang around October of 2004 at the age of 20 (his birthday is in December). He had been wandering around the country aimlessly without any real idea of what he wanted to do with himself. Felt no sense of purpose, no sense of belonging. Other than his family back home he was truly and utterly alone in the world. Yet that all changed once he stepped foot into Stilwater.

He found himself caught up in a fight between Los Carnales, the Vice Kings and the Westside Rollers. Thankfully before he wound up getting himself killed solely on the merit of being here at the “wrong place, wrong time” Django was saved by both Julius and Troy. Extending a hand towards Django Julius decides to try and recruit him into the Saints, and in realizing that he basically owed this man big time, Django decides to take the invitation and meet him and the others at the church.

I want to stop here for a moment and say that the Saints were originally formed as a response to the increasing violence between the three warring gangs across Stilwater. Julius definitely had his good intentions, but to echo the same statements made in another post, I really doubt there was ever a point in time where Julius didn’t want to hold some sense of power. To be the guy who was in charge of the city. Oh sure, he decided to leave the Vice Kings (which he was originally a part of alongside his best friend Benjamin King) due to the direction in which they were going. But given certain details that I will get to in a second, I really do believe that Julius wanted just as much to be at the top as he did to protect the city.

I say this because he uses the increasing violence within the district of Saint’s Row as an example of the city going to hell because of these warring gangs. He wasn’t even originally from the district, he was from Sunnyvale where he and King grew up together, eventually forming their own gang. He latched on to this idea to protect the Row as a means to start a rallying cry and get all these incredibly angry and very violent kids to fall under his leadership and form a counter group. Not a single one of the Saints knows this and it isn’t till you’re riding around with Ben in one mission where the truth comes out.

Hell, the speech that Julius gives during the custscene after the tutorial missions turns out to be a word for word copy of Ben’s very own from when he first formed the Vice Kings. It’s this same speech that the Boss would later use when he takes over the gang after his coma stint. Julius basically puts out this preconceived image of himself in order to get all these people who are significantly younger than him to join his cause. It’s this exact thing that let someone like Django essentially fall under his spell and believe a single thing that ever came out of that man’s mouth.

Julius is manipulative, but I wouldn’t say he’s the sort to pull some Machiavellian-type shit. Cause as I will get to later, there was no point whatsoever before his arrest where he was considering on betraying everyone and leaving them all high and dry. No, Julius’s manipulative actions are the direct result of an incredibly simply and human emotion; selfishness. Yet this will also come into play much later over why his betrayal even happened in the first place.

So once Django is canonized and helps take back the Row, he’s basically let to do whatever necessary to take down the other three gangs and bring some sense of peace back to Stilwater. 95% of the time it’s with him acting as a weapon, which is something he is scarily good at. This is something that not only Julius but other lieutenants definitely pick up on, and it’s why when you need something taken care of where no one is left alive and as much destruction as possible is caused, you either send Django, Johnny or both.

And as time goes on and more of the city turns purple, Django begins to feel more and more like he’s found his purpose. He managed to find a place where not only is he validated for the work he does but the people within the gang accept him and make him feel good about it. Django has gotten a taste of power, of violence, of money, of fame. A taste of generally living a better life to the fullest where he feels like he’s at the top. Not only that but, for the first time ever, he has friends as well. He has people he’s beginning to care for and feel a connection with after spending an entire childhood basically lonely as shit. Frustrated over his inability to truly connect with anyone.

At no point in time do I think that Django ever wanted to usurp Julius. He respected the man. Looked up to him. He was the embodiment of what the gang stood for and a sign of pure loyalty. So to then be promoted to his second-in-command once all the gangs were dealt with must have come as a pleasant surprise. One that definitely awoke something even more within him. He was ready to take on that title and he was absolutely prepared to save the man from police custody after everything he had done for him.

And I want to make something incredibly clear here; up until this point I don’t think Julius had in mind that he was going to betray the Saints either. Everything was basically coming up fantastically and he was getting the power and recognition that he wanted. Hell, he doesn’t give a shit about what Django had to do to get results. He practically justifies and validates every single little action the Saints have taken.

“ We did it, playa. 3rd Street owns this town. Now, that's not to say that shit didn't cost, and I ain't talkin' about what happened to Johnny's leg or losing Lin. Those two were soldiers, they knew the risk. Hell, Johnny gets off on it. But we crushed a lot of families playa, and someday they're gonna holla at us. But believe me when I tell you, we did the right thing.

With the Rollerz wiped out, Benjamin gone, and the Colombians in our pocket, there ain't gonna be a need for a gang war ever again. And in the end, that's gonna save a lot more lives than we took. So relax, playa, you've earned yourself a break. You've impressed the hell out of me son, and I've told the crew you're gonna be my right hand- ”

Julius was downright ecstatic with the results he and the gang had been getting. He was more than happy. And as you can see right there he was happy enough with what Django had done that he decided to give the guy that high of a promotion. Everything seemed to be going fantastic up until he gets arrested during this little phone call.

Once the two of the final three missions play out in which the Saints do what they can to save Julius everything seems to go right back to normal. That is until Django is called out to Alderman Richard Hughes’s yacht on that fateful December night. Once arriving, Django is greeted by the alderman and is essentially given a speech about gentrification and his political power before telling his men to turn their weapons onto him.

However, before even getting a chance to fire a loud beeping is heard and without even a moment to react the yacht blows to hell and everyone, but Django, dies. Instead our poor little gangster is put into a five year coma, staying on life support on the request of Troy for, as it turns out, he was an undercover cop this whole time.

Years later Django will once again wake up, and after a series of events that lead him towards saving Johnny and then the two of them deciding to resurrect the Saints, Django decides to pay Troy a visit and find out what’s been going on. It’s here that in the game (SR2) you get to find a couple of taped recordings at the police station. The first involves Dex (former lieutenant of the Saints) confronting Troy of being an undercover cop and stating that he’s dropping his colors and taking a job at the Ultor corporation.

The second is Troy speaking to Julius after his arrest and asking him to speak to Johnny and Django and convincing them to step down, thus disbanding the gang and keeping Troy from arresting the people he’s come to call his friends over this time.

The third tape is where Django learns the truth; Julius was the one who had planted a bomb all those years ago.

A punch to the gut can’t really describe the sort of feeling Django must have felt from learning this. It had to have been one of the most horrific, most anger-inducing things he could have ever heard. To have this man, the one who had taken you in, gave you a sense of validation and appreciation, told you that the work you performed was fantastic, let you have this sense of belonging and purpose within a group, who you practically looked up to be the one who tried to assassinate you is absolutely sickening to him and fills him with such rage.

Five years of his life. Five whole fuckin’ years. I know a lot of people make the argument that your 20′s really ain’t that special, but that’s not the point here. The point is that whether or not they would’ve been extraordinary, Django lost five whole years of his young adulthood. An incredibly pivotal point in him growing up was completely lost on him due to almost dying at the age of 21. He will never get those years back. He will never truly know what he missed out on. It’s practically one of the reasons why he acts so brash and angry and hotheaded during the entirety of the second game.

Everything had been taken away from him. His city, his friends, his sense of identity; all of it was snatched right out of his hands and thrown to the gutter cause of one man. The one man he looked up to the most after everything he had done for him. If Django felt sick at first when trying to process the amount of time that had passed and how much he had to catch up on, then he more than likely felt horrifically ill at this revelation.

When their final confrontation plays you can see Julius direct the blame entirely on how the Saints were handled and how Django acted. It’s ridiculous given the fact that Julius did not start thinking about how terrible the Saints or Django were until his gang activities got him in trouble. This is where the selfishness plays out. As soon as he was arrested and realized their were consequences to his actions, the man figured he’d better fucking dip and completely disregard what that meant for everyone else.

He abandons the Saints, abandons the people who allegedly wished to help out, and soon starts claiming his has morals—that he could not stand up to Django whatsoever and that he was the monster destroying Stilwater all along. I really doubt he could have gotten Django to back down after basically awakening something in him, but he didn’t even bother trying whatsoever.

And as the two have their final confrontation Julius really lets it be known how he’s come to despise Django, how he seems him as the problem, putting all blame squarely on him despite knowing full well that he has the biggest hand in this after all. It’s with all of this plus the anger that Django already felt towards everything, plus his brash and arrogant attitude that it truly twists him into the monster he’s become today.

Their final confrontation can be found here.

As a friend of mine who has way too many blogs here to tag said

“ I like the subtle implication that a huge part of him, if not all of him, died on the boat ”

And it’s true, this is exactly what he thinks. This is exactly what was going through his mind as he spoke to Julius. Django is gone. Django is completely dead after that explosion. And in having that part of him be completely eradicated he can now turn towards his new identity, one that he will showcase to the entire world. If Julius is going to call him a monster then fine. So be it. He will accept this new identity of his and run with it. Revel both the fame and infamy he will garner. 

From anger and betrayal The Boss has now been born.

Julius may have had his good intentions, he may have genuinely wanted to keep the city safe and do something right. But his desire for power outweighs that, and the fact that he will never truly admit his mistake is such a damning thing. Shit, he probably thought that the Boss murdering him only served to further prove his point.

Yet after all is said and done, after the Boss has finally killed the man who turned him into what he is, there really is no true sense of satisfaction. The Boss is a man who finds a feeling of catharsis when taking revenge on people. To him it “fixes thing”. It makes things right. Yet with his killing of Julius he’s fully aware of the fact that it won’t truly change much for him.

He’s far gone now. Completely transformed into an entirely different beast. Julius’s betrayal is going to leave a scar on him that’ll last a lifetime. One that he can never truly let heal whatsoever. He’s not one to brood, especially with this when it’s already hit him like a ton of bricks. However, he will forever remain conscious of the fact that what happened is leaving an impact.

That what Julius did to him will always affect him in some way. His trust issues, his difficult connecting with others, all of it has been now heightened by these events. This is a scar that will remain with him for a lifetime, and that truly infuriates him to no end.

There’s nothing worse than knowing you owe the personal growth and identity you have, good or bad, to someone who hurt you.

[thesinglesjukebox]

LADY GAGA - STUPID LOVE

[6.42]

Far from "Shallow" now...

Brad Shoup: Thudding sixteenths and vocal chop straight out of a Todd Edwards remix... it's always great when she visits. [8]

Wayne Weizhen Zhang: It must be exhausting to be Lady Gaga. Here's a short list of her accomplishments since 2013's ARTPOP: winning a Grammy for a jazz duets album, winning a Golden Globe for her role in American Horror Story, headlining the Super Bowl, co-hosting arguably the best Met Gala in years, winning an Oscar for A Star is Born, getting a number one Billboard single from the soundtrack, launching a vegan make-up line, and starring in a Las Vegas residency. And yet, the dominant critical narrative has still essentially been: Gaga is absent from pop music. (For comparison, Katy Perry has been a judge on American Idol.) Of course, her self-mythologizing is partially to blame for this, but it's unclear what could have possibly satisfied her critics and die-hard fans outside of re-reinventing music à la 2010. So what's her move given the weight of the world's impossible expectations? To make simple, unpretentious pop music on her own terms. In a recent Billboard interview, she laughed while stating, "I would like to put out music that a big chunk of the world will hear, and it will become a part of their daily lives, and make them happy every single day." My first reaction upon reading this was: yes, we should hold Gaga to a higher standard because she's Gaga, but how can we balance that with the potentially damaging effects for her mental health and sanity? So on "Stupid Love" when she sings, "Now it's time to free me from this chain/I gotta find that peace, is it too late?" I like to hope it's meta-commentary on her rediscovering the joy in her music and being, free of expectation. Gaga tracks are often described as "huge" or "epic", but none has ever so perfectly embodied "fun." I'm definitely excited about how this track sounds -- an ebullient return to her earliest disco pop roots, at a time when radio is dominated by trap -- but "Stupid Love" stands out to me because of her embrace of radical self-love. This is the Gaga that I've always loved -- and she's always been enough. [9]

Leah Isobel: The production filters back an entire decade's worth of Stefani's influence into a three-minute Fruit Gusher burst of tang, but the lyrics are decidedly forward-looking, all declarative statements of "now is the time!" bullshit. In the middle of this past/present/future time-play, as the beat drops out beneath her, she asserts the key line: "all I ever wanted was lahv." If it's a disappointingly shallow retcon for an artist whose initial breadth and ambition was the entire point, the promise of it lingers in my brain. After all, it's not too far from a similar pop megalomaniac realizing that she "traded fame for love without a second thought" about 20 years ago. That rich vein of popstar self-examination writ large is so suited to Gaga's talents as an artist -- a provocateur, fake-deep philosopher, musical theatre nerd, and hook-writing master all at once -- that I have listened to this song five times in a row pretty much every single day since it, uh, appeared on the internet. My paws are reluctantly up, Stef. Don't fuck it up. [7]

Jessica Doyle: Fun, and otherwise unremarkable. If you've been a Gaga fan for a while -- if you're invested in the narrative of this hardworking woman, who has been through downs and ups and downs and then ups again -- I imagine the fun is enhanced by a certain comfort and relief in seeing her have fun; in imagining her feeling strong and secure enough to release a fun song that doesn't have to upend anything. But I am a heartless, acontextual consumer, for whom the marginal cost of listening to something else is zero, and I miss "Bad Romance." [5]

Tobi Tella: For an artist who at her peak overstuffed everything with too many ideas, there's really not much happening here. It's loud and upbeat, sure, but the lyrics are barely the thread of a coherent song, and the production reminds everyone who wants "pure" pop to come back to be careful what they wish for. Maybe that A Star is Born "pop music bad guitar music good" cynicism rubbed off too much? [4]

Katherine St Asaph: Just when I thought Gaga was lost to the land of Real Music™, or worse, flailing attempts to be chill by the least chill performer in pop music (yes, including Taylor Swift), she goes and releases this, 50,000 firecrackers on a Eurovision stage. The thicket of hooks is packed, with Black Midi levels of referential density. The whole thing sounds like "Born This Way," which is to say it sounds like "Express Yourself"; there's a juddering sequencer out of "Do What U Want" (reminds me more of "Weekend" by Class Actress, but which is more likely to be the actual inspiration?) and a touch of, of all things, September's "Cry For You." Gaga fills every crevice of the song with singing, throaty and belty and huge: a relief after years of songs filled only with half-assed #vibes. If it feels frivolous against much of Born This Way and The Fame Monster and some of Artpop, and far less ambitious, it at least pulls her out of the "Shallow" piano muck. [7]

Vikram Joseph: Perhaps a stupid song about making stupid choices is the Lady Gaga lead single we both need and deserve in 2020. The battering-ram synths feel like running down a hill into a gale-force wind; the best thing about "Stupid Love" is that Gaga sounds like she's having a lot of fun, and by extension so are we. [7]

Alex Clifton: "Stupid Love," much like "Born This Way" before it, is ready-made for pride parades, grown from the same mystical lab that gave Lady Gaga her incredible melodic sensibilities. Unlike its predecessor, though, it has more euphoria in it, presumably because it's not making a political point. Gaga's more focused on having fun here, and you can tell. The verses aren't my favourite, but the chorus hits as an overwhelming rush of dopamine, and now I can't stop dancing in my computer chair. Between this and Dua Lipa's album, we're in for a hell of a good time for pop music this spring, and I am extremely excited. [7]

Thomas Inskeep: She was doing this better a decade ago. A lot better. [2]

Joshua Lu: The narrative surrounding "Stupid Love" regards it a return to the Pop Gaga that's been mostly absent since 2013: A revival if you're a fan, a regression if you're not. The issue with this narrative is that "Stupid Love" lacks any key similarities to the Gaga of yesteryear; the only real sonic link is how the bassline brings to mind the since-redacted "Do What U Want" beat. Instead we have something that's somehow not a Kygo song, with vocal chirps that got old last year, serviceable but clichéd hooks (the entire pre-chorus has all the charm of a Taio Cruz album track), remarkably basic lyrics filled with platitudes, and a title that has no bearing on anything in the song -- there's nothing lyrically or aurally stupid about anything here, and Gaga has shown a deep capacity to be stupid in her past pop works. In reality, what we have here isn't a return to anything, but rather the continued flagging of Gaga's desire to develop genuinely off-beat or interesting pop music, whether intentional or not. Gaga's talents as a vocalist elevate the song beyond the usual pop pap, but it's not nearly at the level I once hoped she could remain at. [6]

Alfred Soto: Kudos to Jamieson Cox for catching an obvious forebear: the rattling sequencer recalls 2013's forgotten "Do What U Want," which was all set to do some business until radio programmers remembered R. Kelly had been a menace for years. Amiably confusing lack of affect with simplicity, "Stupid Love" flexes its pop strength with the expectation that fans will admire it. [7]

Joshua Minsoo Kim: The synths pack a punch but they never quite get me to where I should be. I wanna feel desperation, exasperation -- that love is worth looking stupid for. All I get is a familiar, quasi-stoic performance that sounds like Gaga's doing some excellent karaoke. [4]

Kayla Beardslee: Sure, it's competent, but Gaga is capable of so much more. Many other blurbs will discuss the song's aggressive datedness and bland lyrics, but what really bothers me is that the two halves of "Stupid Love" -- the dramatic vocals and the unrelenting gallop of the synths -- don't fit together. Gaga is giving her all with those signature "laahv"s, but there's just not enough empty space left for her in the production. Her performance ends up laying flat on top of the track, adding nothing except a sense of laziness from her producers and engineers. [5]

Pedro João Santos: Serviceable Max Martin bopathon scams its way into my brain again -- no matter how direly in need of an incubator this whole structure is. Gaga's weakest lead single feeds you Kygo, threatens to ascend during "All I ever wanted was love", and still can't fight the aura of afterthought. [6]

Jibril Yassin: "Stupid Love" is a giddy rush of EDM-pop fun, but it's the first time experiencing a major Gaga single entirely devoid of surprises. Bracing yourself for a twist that never arrives or a strange turn of vocals rearing its head from nowhere, "Stupid Love" makes up for its unremarkableness with a masterclass in songwriting. What Lady Gaga hasn't forgotten how to do is translate the feeling of having your initial gut feelings completely validated. "Stupid Love" makes its magic in casting the act of love as necessary and dare I say it -- radical. [7]

Jackie Powell: On "Stupid Love" Lady Gaga achieved a corollary. By trying to put her healing process into simple poetry, she also created an accompanying sound that's comparable to an analgesic. The function of the track is to heal and liberate. (Truth be told, Little Monster or not, the song has helped me get out of bed in the morning.) Gaga's latest cut is packaged into a familiar formula, and that's part of the reason why this track serves as a formidable lead single and symbol for the upcoming Chromatica. The equation is one that mirrors the "best of" Stefani Germanotta. What's brilliant about "Stupid Love" is that its visual and lyrical messaging and surrounding sonic arrangement and melody bring what Little Monsters and casual music fans with a Gaga fascination expect. And that's okay. She has told Oprah that her goal now isn't just to shock people but rather to exude authenticity. She stirs elements from all of her pop eras into the most hearty and flavourful version of Gaga soup (and that does include Joanne contrary to popular belief.) Each ingredient works and is soluble. She tossed in the elements of the The Fame that made fans want to Just Dance and sprinkled some catchy Swedish-sounding pop melodies (Max Martin, hello!) and sung onomatopoeia from The Fame Monster, à la the "hey-ah, hey-ahs." A suspenseful build, uniquely potent and soaring vocals are ounces of Born This Way. Don't worry, ARTPOP is doused on this track not only in color, but in sound. There's a reason why that sped up "Do What U Want"-esque bassline works. There's a contrast between her bright vocal performance and the electronic bass' darkness. Joanne comes across in the allegorical concept which once again can be interpreted to reflect the current American experience. Music video director Daniel Askill confirmed that Gaga wanted to portray the "warring tribes as a metaphor for the state of the world today." So, Mother Monster is on a mission to introduce the world to her new brainchild, ever-developing ideologies and honest ways to examine life. "Stupid Love" isn't the end-all but merely the beginning. Paws up and welcome to Chromatica bitches. [8]

Nortey Dowuona: NOPE! WAIT. wait. This is actually a welcome back for... the bass, who is joined by his drumming sister, his synth bros and Lady Gaga, who has come here from the Make A Wish Foundation to take him around New York. They have a wonderful day together, with the synth bros getting their percussive background vocal girlfriend an NYPD hoodie, and the experience convinces Lady Gaga to make bright, happy pop music again! (The bass, in the midst of a happy dance, got hit by her limo and had to go back to the hospital.) [8]

Scott Mildenhall: Between its hyperventilating over-excitement and ever-exciting hyper-sincerity, Gaga seems to have finally created a pop emergency. The false alarm of "Applause" was overstuffed and underpowered, but "Stupid Love" redresses that balance by going harder and clearer, like a newly thawed cut from a cryogenically frozen, course-correcting Artpop Monster edition. Time might seem to have turned in on itself, but no: the greater lyrical directness arrives in a way that feels culminatory. The plainspokenness of that indelible "all I ever wanted was love" makes it almost an epitaph, grounding it in a present in which all experience has been lived, and all realisations are realised. Undeniably, Lady Gaga is not dead, but this is what she knows. [8]

Will Adams: I defended "The Cure" and lamented the immense pressure on Gaga to make every release the Next Big Thing, however even that soured when it turned out to be part of A Star Is Born's ~superficial pop~ world. So where to next, when she's caught between turgid rock balladry and ill-fitting trop-pop? On "Stupid Love," we get the best possible outcome: whizzing past Joanne, making a brief stop at Artpop but ultimately landing on the dazzling excess of Born This Way. Like any good synthpop number, the synths display a wide range of textures: they tunnel, they drill, they poof, they gleam. Gaga is more than willing to match their energy. Noteworthy, though, is that she takes a brief pause only on the pre-chorus's "all I ever wanted was love"; even the way the title scans it almost sounds like she could be singing "I want just to be loved." This is the essence of pop: amidst the big dumb fireworks display, a human message at the core. [7]

[stevenuniversallyreviews]

Episode 117: The Zoo

“Can you blame ‘em?”

Every Western story about a return journey can be compared to The Odyssey if you squint hard enough, and while Steven’s rescue of Greg has already featured poor decisions and a cyclops, The Zoo is our most obvious reference point to a trial of Odysseus: in this case, the Lotus Eaters. 

Does it make sense that such a small population could genetically reproduce this long? Let alone that distinct races would still be a thing in this inevitably incestuous family tree spanning millennia? Does it make sense that everyone here is roughly the same age, with barely any old people or children? Or that they’re speaking English, a language thousands of years younger than the last human abducted for the Zoo before Greg? Of course not, this is a nonsensical system. But if the choice was eleven minutes going over hyper-realistic minutia of how this system works (most likely, these folks are divided into small packs and we’re just seeing one of many groups) versus an interesting fable about free will and the conflict between hedonism and responsibility, I’m good ignoring the massive leaps required for the Zoo to hold logical water.

A thorny ethical question presents itself here: if the Zoomans are eternally happy and safe, to the point where they don’t understand the concept of “hurt,” is it such a bad thing that they lack free will? To us, freedom is such an obviously good thing that its value is taken as a given, but all choice does here is make the Zoomans unhappy for the first time since an incident long ago enough to be the stuff of legend. This is a group of people whose culture predates Ancient Greece and is still going strong, outlasting any human civilization that’s ever existed on Earth by an impossibly huge degree, so what right do we have to think our moral code is superior to theirs?

The Zoo is dystopia by way of Dora the Explorer, a perfect prison that has babied its inhabitants for so many lifespans that they can’t even fathom disrupting the system. A friendly voice tells them what actions to take to have fun (Smell the flowers! Go to bed! Swiper, no swiping!) and the Zoomans obey without hesitation; they are essentially to humans what modern dogs are to wolves, a domesticated and perpetually juvenile version of the original model. But they certainly aren’t a different species in that way (dogs diverged from wolves genetically tens of thousands of years ago, rather than a paltry 5,000); we see that the Zoomans are quickly capable of making choice when the idea is planted, but they choose to listen to the little voice. Is it ethical to give them the information to make a more informed choice? My gut says yes, but that’s based on a moral code developed by a society that, like English, is much younger than Zooman society.

The second question that arises from the first is the morality of Pink Diamond’s actions. From a Gem perspective, it’s a no-brainer: free will isn’t a societal good to them, so even if Earth wasn’t destroyed as originally planned when the Zoo was built, bringing people to a paradise whose only cost is freedom is an obvious win. This matters a lot for Blue Diamond, who’s still patronizing in her “saving” of Greg but clearly means well by her own alien metrics of good and bad. And in that way, on first viewing, Pink’s behavior becomes far less ambiguous than “evil alien kidnaps humans.” If she’s anything like Blue, she considered it a favor, and that alone characterizes her more than anything else we know at this point.

In retrospect, the Zoo is more clearly a half-measure taken when Pink was trying and failing to stop the colonization she began. This conflict wasn’t short, and it’s great to see evidence of Pink trying smaller ways to help humans before realizing that more drastic actions were necessary, rather than her just jumping straight to full revolution. The fact that the Zoo is still a thing after her permanent shift to Rose Quartz, however, is one of many indicators of Pink’s childish selfishness. She didn’t release the humans she abducted, just as she didn’t think of how her faked murder might have more violent consequences than a freed Earth. I call the selfishness childish because it comes not from malice, but seemingly not knowing any better. This is the self-centeredness of somebody who’s never had any reason to not be self-centered, which doesn’t absolve the harm she causes, but makes her more interesting than a true monster.

While the Gem perspective is clear, Steven provides an ardent opposition to the concept of paradise without choice. At no point is he tempted by a life free of worries, valuing his ties to an existing life despite its many warts. And while Greg shows a few hints of falling for the Lotus Eater trap in his more relaxed attitude towards captivity, it’s crucial that his support of Steven trumps the comfort of this new reality; an entire episode about Greg measuring an easy life versus his son’s happiness, while in keeping from the weird shitty version of Greg we met in House Guest, would’ve been ruinous to his actual character. He’s still chill, and encourages Steven to chill as well for his own well-being, but never goes further in trying to stay at the Zoo; we even know that he tried to escape before Steven arrived.

While their long-awaited reunion is sweet, my favorite Steven'n’Greg moment is the realization that amethysts will likely arrive in response to pain. Steven’s insistence that Greg hit him comes from both impatience and the knowledge that he can take a punch, but Tom Scharpling perfectly captures how insane this sounds to Greg. Even though he’s physically weaker than his superhumanly powerful son, Greg’s willing to get hurt in his kid’s place. And still, Steven hesitates, because neither of these people wants to hit the other despite the circumstances. Finally, after Steven’s punch sends Greg flying, I appreciate his idea to try punching him again; to me, it’s representative of how much Steven thinks of his dad, because he just assumes this middle aged dude is tough enough to shrug off such a blow.

The two lead Zooman representatives sorta blend together, but I think that’s the point: in a society where conformity is the only option, everyone’s bound to act similarly. They’re both portrayed well enough to avoid boring tropes associated with characters like this (we don’t get airy hippies or droning disciples): Cristina Vee’s Jay-Ten and Lamar Abrams’s Wy-Six are delightfully dopey and just a little bit self-superior when things they find obvious are a mystery to our heroes. Vee doubles as the Little Voice, which is correctly played without a hint of menace, and while Abrams has already proven himself as Buck Dewey, I’m impressed by his ability to play a fully different character just as well (he’s also Garbanzo, who also sounds distinct, but he only says his own name so there’s not much room to measure differences).

While I have no idea whether the pun is intentional, I am all about these people raised beyond the stars being spacier than our more grounded Earthlings. Still, their one-note nature means that my favorite Zooman moments are actually Steven’s reactions to them. His quick decision to escape after being told to do “the bits” bit is low key hilarious, as is his bewilderment at their tiny splashes. These aren’t people that are going to make jokes or clever observations on their own, at least in a way that can match what their terrestrial counterparts can accomplish, but at least I never feel bored with the routine in a way that detracts from the episode.

In contrast to the mundane hedonism of daily life, the Choosening is just the sort of cultish jargon that one might expect from a society like this, and I love the familiarity implied in Greg’s world-weary comment that there’s always a catch with this sort of thing. We have no way of knowing how arbitrary the Choosening is, but considering Greg gets chosen Choosened right after arriving, it certainly seems random. While arranged marriage is obviously a thing on Earth as well, the power dynamics on the Zoo are more akin to forced marriage. But even this is colored by an earthly glimpse at an alien culture, because we don’t have any societies with an all-powerful overclass and a genuinely content and cared-for underclass. Is it really forced marriage if the parties involved are happy about it? Even if this is due to them being happy about everything that happens in this society? Are they really capable of true happiness when they’ve experienced no alternate emotions?

This is where the theme of choice versus happiness comes to a head, and it’s so important that we don’t get a tidy ending where free will is presented as a liberating alternative to a peaceful life of following orders. Choices allow for more meaningful happiness, but can lead to sadness as well; while this might seem obvious, I’m always down for children’s media explaining why negative emotions can be okay sometimes (see: Inside Out) and that a life free of pain isn’t necessarily good. It would be disingenuous for real choice to be presented without backlash to a society without free will, and we don’t even get to see how the situation resolves in the original series.

The amethysts march in to help, and Michaela Dietz wonderfully captures gruff warriors helping with emotional wounds. But we end the episode with the Zoomans in turmoil, abandoned by our heroes without a second thought. Based on how the system works, all it takes to reject the Little Voice is just deciding not to listen, and it hadn’t been done before because the Zoomans wanted to listen; again, it’s a tricky situation, because perhaps they do have free will and have chosen obedience. .

As in the last few episodes, we get a cliffhanger ending, but The Zoo bounces back from Gem Heist by having an actual complete story within the chapter. Steven and Greg make a meaningful impact on the Zoomans, but whether it’s for better or worse is up in the air. Our heroes gain the option to eat lotuses in peace for the rest of their days, but choose freedom instead. And they reinforce their bond by sticking together through it all. Now they just have to escape a space station crawling with Gems and find their missing friends and fly home, and that will be all!

Future Vision!

The Zoomans finally return in Steven Universe Future, where their utopia has been expanded to include the Famethyst and Holly Blue. They may be running the station, but they choose to live the way they always have. They’re also petty as hell, which is an excellent development for their passive society.

We’re the one, we’re the ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!

While I appreciate the moral questions prompted by The Zoo, and enjoy the episode itself, it’s not quite something that I’d say I love. There’s nothing I find wrong with it, but it lacks a certain amount of oomph that might make it worthy to stand alongside the likes of Alone at Sea or Maximum Capacity in my rankings; this is a high concept episode that has decent character work, but ratio of focus on concept to character doesn’t align with what I love about Steven Universe.

It’s weird to put it in the same category as Gem Heist, because I like The Zoo a lot more, but this is what I get for not having way too many categories. Enh, I can live with it.

Top Twenty

Steven and the Stevens

Hit the Diamond

Mirror Gem

Lion 3: Straight to Video

Alone Together

Last One Out of Beach City

The Return

Jailbreak

The Answer

Mindful Education

Sworn to the Sword

Rose’s Scabbard

Earthlings

Mr. Greg

Coach Steven

Giant Woman

Beach City Drift

Winter Forecast

Bismuth

Steven’s Dream

Love ‘em

Laser Light Cannon

Bubble Buddies

Tiger Millionaire

Lion 2: The Movie

Rose’s Room

An Indirect Kiss

Ocean Gem

Space Race

Garnet’s Universe

Warp Tour

The Test

Future Vision

On the Run

Maximum Capacity

Marble Madness

Political Power

Full Disclosure

Joy Ride

Keeping It Together

We Need to Talk

Chille Tid

Cry for Help

Keystone Motel

Catch and Release

When It Rains

Back to the Barn

Steven’s Birthday

It Could’ve Been Great

Message Received

Log Date 7 15 2

Same Old World

The New Lars

Monster Reunion

Alone at Sea

Crack the Whip

Beta

Back to the Moon

Kindergarten Kid

Buddy’s Book

Gem Harvest

Three Gems and a Baby

Like ‘em

Gem Glow

Frybo

Arcade Mania

So Many Birthdays

Lars and the Cool Kids

Onion Trade

Steven the Sword Fighter

Beach Party

Monster Buddies

Keep Beach City Weird

Watermelon Steven

The Message

Open Book

Story for Steven

Shirt Club

Love Letters

Reformed

Rising Tides, Crashing Tides

Onion Friend

Historical Friction

Friend Ship

Nightmare Hospital

Too Far

Barn Mates

Steven Floats

Drop Beat Dad

Too Short to Ride

Restaurant Wars

Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service

Greg the Babysitter

Gem Hunt

Steven vs. Amethyst

Bubbled

Adventures in Light Distortion

Gem Heist

The Zoo

Enh

Cheeseburger Backpack

Together Breakfast

Cat Fingers

Serious Steven

Steven’s Lion

Joking Victim

Secret Team

Say Uncle

Super Watermelon Island

Gem Drill

Know Your Fusion

Future Boy Zoltron

No Thanks!

     6. Horror Club      5. Fusion Cuisine      4. House Guest      3. Onion Gang      2. Sadie’s Song      1. Island Adventure

[euteh]

How long have you been using your current smartphone? The answer for an increasing number of consumers is years, plural. After all, why upgrade every year when next year’s model is almost exactly the same as the device you’re holding in your hand?

Dutch social enterprise Fairphone sees this as an opportunity to sell sustainability. A chance to turn a conversation about ‘stalled smartphone innovation’ on its head by encouraging consumers to think more critically about the costs involved in pumping out the next shiny thing. And sell them on the savings — individual and collective — of holding their staple gadget steady.

Its latest smartphone, the Fairphone 3 — just released this week in Europe — represents the startup’s best chance yet of shrinking the convenience gap between the next hotly anticipated touchscreen gizmo and a fairer proposition that requires an altogether cooler head to appreciate.

On the surface Fairphone 3 looks like a fairly standard, if slightly thick (1cm), Android smartphone. But that’s essentially the point. This 4G phone could be your smartphone, is the intended message.

Specs wise, you’re getting mostly middling, rather than stand out stuff. There’s a 5.7in full HD display, a Qualcomm Snapdragon 632 chipset, 4GB of RAM and 64GB of storage (expandable via microSD), a 12MP rear lens and 8MP front-facing camera. There’s also NFC on board, a fingerprint reader, dual nano-SIM slots and a 3,000mAh battery that can be removed for easy replacement when it wears out.

There’s also a 3.5mm headphone jack: The handy port that’s being erased at the premium smartphone tier,  killing off a bunch of wired accessories with it. So ‘slow replacement’ smartphone hardware demonstrably encourages less waste across the gadget ecosystem too.

But the real difference lies under the surface. Fairer here means supply chain innovation to source conflict-free minerals that go into making the devices; social incentive programs that top up the minimum wages of assembly workers who put the phones together; and repairable, modular handset design that’s intended to reduce environmental impact by supporting a longer lifespan. Repair, don’t replace is the mantra.

All the extra effort that goes into making a smartphone less ethically challenging to own is of course invisible to the naked eye. So the Fairphone 3 buyer largely has to take the company’s word on trust.

The only visual evidence is repairability. Flip the phone over and a semi-opaque plastic backing gives a glimpse of modular guts. A tiny screwdriver included in the box allows you take the phone to pieces so you can swap out individual modules (such as the display) in case they break or fail. Fairphone sells replacements via a spare parts section of its website.

Despite this radically modular and novel design vs today’s hermetically sealed premium mobiles the Fairphone 3 feels extremely solid to hold.

It’s not designed to pop apart easily. Indeed, there’s a full thirteen screws holding the display module in place. Deconstruction takes work (and care not to lose any of the teeny screws). So this is modularity purely as occasional utility, not flashy party trick — as with Google’s doomed Ara Project.

For some that might be disappointing. Exactly because this modular phone feels so, well, boringly normal.

Visually the most stand out feature at a glance is the Fairphone logo picked out in metallic white lettering on the back. Those taking a second look will also spot a moralizing memo printed on the battery so it’s legible through the matte plastic — which reads: “Change is in your hands”. It may be a bit cringeworthy but if you’ve paid for an ethical premium you might as well flaunt it.

It’s fair to say design fans won’t be going wild over the Fairphone 3. But it feels almost intentionally dull. As if — in addition to shrinking manufacturing costs — the point is to impress on buyers that ethical internals are more than enough of a hipster fashion statement.

It’s also true that most smartphones are now much the same, hardware, features and performance wise. So — at this higher mid-tier price-point (€450/~$500) — why not flip the consumer smartphone sales pitch on its head to make it about shrinking rather than maximizing impact, via a dull but worthy standard?

That then pushes people to ask how sustainable is an expensive but valueless — and so, philosophically speaking, pointless — premium? That’s the question Fairphone 3 seems designed to pose.

Or, to put it another way, if normal can be ethical then shouldn’t ethical electronics be the norm?

Normal is what you get elsewhere with Fairphone 3. Purely judged as a smartphone its performance isn’t anything to write home about. It checks all the usual boxes of messaging, photos, apps and Internet browsing. You can say it gets the job done.

Sure, it’s not buttery smooth at every screen and app transition. And it can feel a little slow on the uptake at times. Notably the camera, while fairly responsive, isn’t lightning quick. Photo quality is not terrible — but not amazing either.

Testing the camera I found images prone to high acutance and over saturated colors. The software also struggles to handle mixed light and shade — meaning you may get a darker and less balanced shot that you hoped for. Low light performance isn’t great either.

That said, in good light the Fairphone 3 can take a perfectly acceptable selfie. Which is what most people will expect to be able to use the phone for.

Fairphone has said it’s done a lot of work to improve the camera vs the predecessor model. And it has succeeded in bringing photo performance up to workable standard — which is a great achievement at what’s also a slightly reduced handset price-point. Though, naturally, there’s still a big gap in photo quality vs the premium end of the smartphone market.

On the OS front, the phone runs a vanilla implementation of Android 9 out of the box — preloaded with the usual bundle of Google services and no added clutter so Android fans should feel right at home. (For those who want a Google-free alternative Fairphone says a future update will allow users to do a wipe and clean install of Android Open Source Project.)

In short, purely as a smartphone, the Fairphone 3 offers very little to shout about — so no screaming lack either. Again, if the point is to shrink the size of the compromise Fairphone is asking consumers to make in order to buy an ethically superior brand of electronics they are slowly succeeding in closing the gap.

It’s a project that’s clearly benefiting from the maturity of the smartphone market. While, on the cellular front, the transformative claims being made for 5G are clearly many years out — so there’s no issue with asking buyers to stick with a 4G phone for years to come.

Given where the market has now marched to, a ‘fairer’ smartphone that offers benchmark basics at a perfectly acceptable median but with the promise of reduced costs over the longer term — individual, societal and environmental — does seem like a proposition that could expand from what has so far been an exceptional niche into something rather larger and more mainstream.

Zooming out for a second, the Fairphone certainly makes an interesting contrast with some of the expensive chimeras struggling to be unfolded at the top end of the smartphone market right now.

Foldables like the Samsung Galaxy Fold — which clocks in at around 4x the price of a Fairphone and offers ~2x the screen real estate (when unfolded), plus a power bump. Whether the Fold’s lux package translates into mobile utility squared is a whole other question, though.

And where foldables will need to demonstrate a compelling use-case that goes above and beyond the Swiss Army utility of a normal smartphone to justify such a whopping price bump, Fairphone need only prick the consumer conscience — as it asks you pay a bit more and settle for a little less.

Neither of these sales pitches is challenge free, of course. And, for now, both foldables and fairer electronics remain curious niches.

But with the Fairphone 3 demonstrating that ethical can feel so normal it doesn’t seem beyond the pale to imagine demand for electronics that are average in performance yet pack an ethical punch scaling up to challenge the mainstream parade of copycat gadgets.

Read more: Source link

Fairphone 3 is a normal smartphone with ethical shine – TechCrunch How long have you been using your current smartphone? The answer for an increasing number of consumers is years, …

[nayanasri]

How long have you been using your current smartphone? The answer for an increasing number of consumers is years, plural. After all, why upgrade every year when next year’s model is almost exactly the same as the device you’re holding in your hand?

Dutch social enterprise Fairphone sees this as an opportunity to sell sustainability. A chance to turn a conversation about ‘stalled smartphone innovation’ on its head by encouraging consumers to think more critically about the costs involved in pumping out the next shiny thing. And sell them on the savings — individual and collective — of holding their staple gadget steady.

Its latest smartphone, the Fairphone 3 — just released this week in Europe — represents the startup’s best chance yet of shrinking the convenience gap between the next hotly anticipated touchscreen gizmo and a fairer proposition that requires an altogether cooler head to appreciate.

On the surface Fairphone 3 looks like a fairly standard, if slightly thick (1cm), Android smartphone. But that’s essentially the point. This 4G phone could be your smartphone, is the intended message.

Specs wise, you’re getting mostly middling, rather than stand out stuff. There’s a 5.7in full HD display, a Qualcomm Snapdragon 632 chipset, 4GB of RAM and 64GB of storage (expandable via microSD), a 12MP rear lens and 8MP front-facing camera. There’s also NFC on board, a fingerprint reader, dual nano-SIM slots and a 3,000mAh battery that can be removed for easy replacement when it wears out.

There’s also a 3.5mm headphone jack: The handy port that’s being erased at the premium smartphone tier,  killing off a bunch of wired accessories with it. So ‘slow replacement’ smartphone hardware demonstrably encourages less waste across the gadget ecosystem too.

But the real difference lies under the surface. Fairer here means supply chain innovation to source conflict-free minerals that go into making the devices; social incentive programs that top up the minimum wages of assembly workers who put the phones together; and repairable, modular handset design that’s intended to reduce environmental impact by supporting a longer lifespan. Repair, don’t replace is the mantra.

All the extra effort that goes into making a smartphone less ethically challenging to own is of course invisible to the naked eye. So the Fairphone 3 buyer largely has to take the company’s word on trust.

The only visual evidence is repairability. Flip the phone over and a semi-opaque plastic backing gives a glimpse of modular guts. A tiny screwdriver included in the box allows you take the phone to pieces so you can swap out individual modules (such as the display) in case they break or fail. Fairphone sells replacements via a spare parts section of its website.

Despite this radically modular and novel design vs today’s hermetically sealed premium mobiles the Fairphone 3 feels extremely solid to hold.

It’s not designed to pop apart easily. Indeed, there’s a full thirteen screws holding the display module in place. Deconstruction takes work (and care not to lose any of the teeny screws). So this is modularity purely as occasional utility, not flashy party trick — as with Google’s doomed Ara Project.

For some that might be disappointing. Exactly because this modular phone feels so, well, boringly normal.

Visually the most stand out feature at a glance is the Fairphone logo picked out in metallic white lettering on the back. Those taking a second look will also spot a moralizing memo printed on the battery so it’s legible through the matte plastic — which reads: “Change is in your hands”. It may be a bit cringeworthy but if you’ve paid for an ethical premium you might as well flaunt it.

It’s fair to say design fans won’t be going wild over the Fairphone 3. But it feels almost intentionally dull. As if — in addition to shrinking manufacturing costs — the point is to impress on buyers that ethical internals are more than enough of a hipster fashion statement.

It’s also true that most smartphones are now much the same, hardware, features and performance wise. So — at this higher mid-tier price-point (€450/~$ 500) — why not flip the consumer smartphone sales pitch on its head to make it about shrinking rather than maximizing impact, via a dull but worthy standard?

That then pushes people to ask how sustainable is an expensive but valueless — and so, philosophically speaking, pointless — premium? That’s the question Fairphone 3 seems designed to pose.

Or, to put it another way, if normal can be ethical then shouldn’t ethical electronics be the norm?

Normal is what you get elsewhere with Fairphone 3. Purely judged as a smartphone its performance isn’t anything to write home about. It checks all the usual boxes of messaging, photos, apps and Internet browsing. You can say it gets the job done.

Sure, it’s not buttery smooth at every screen and app transition. And it can feel a little slow on the uptake at times. Notably the camera, while fairly responsive, isn’t lightning quick. Photo quality is not terrible — but not amazing either.

Testing the camera I found images prone to high acutance and over saturated colors. The software also struggles to handle mixed light and shade — meaning you may get a darker and less balanced shot that you hoped for. Low light performance isn’t great either.

That said, in good light the Fairphone 3 can take a perfectly acceptable selfie. Which is what most people will expect to be able to use the phone for.

Fairphone has said it’s done a lot of work to improve the camera vs the predecessor model. And it has succeeded in bringing photo performance up to workable standard — which is a great achievement at what’s also a slightly reduced handset price-point. Though, naturally, there’s still a big gap in photo quality vs the premium end of the smartphone market.

On the OS front, the phone runs a vanilla implementation of Android 9 out of the box — preloaded with the usual bundle of Google services and no added clutter so Android fans should feel right at home. (For those who want a Google-free alternative Fairphone says a future update will allow users to do a wipe and clean install of Android Open Source Project.)

In short, purely as a smartphone, the Fairphone 3 offers very little to shout about — so no screaming lack either. Again, if the point is to shrink the size of the compromise Fairphone is asking consumers to make in order to buy an ethically superior brand of electronics they are slowly succeeding in closing the gap.

It’s a project that’s clearly benefiting from the maturity of the smartphone market. While, on the cellular front, the transformative claims being made for 5G are clearly many years out — so there’s no issue with asking buyers to stick with a 4G phone for years to come.

Given where the market has now marched to, a ‘fairer’ smartphone that offers benchmark basics at a perfectly acceptable median but with the promise of reduced costs over the longer term — individual, societal and environmental — does seem like a proposition that could expand from what has so far been an exceptional niche into something rather larger and more mainstream.

Zooming out for a second, the Fairphone certainly makes an interesting contrast with some of the expensive chimeras struggling to be unfolded at the top end of the smartphone market right now.

Foldables like the Samsung Galaxy Fold — which clocks in at around 4x the price of a Fairphone and offers ~2x the screen real estate (when unfolded), plus a power bump. Whether the Fold’s lux package translates into mobile utility squared is a whole other question, though.

And where foldables will need to demonstrate a compelling use-case that goes above and beyond the Swiss Army utility of a normal smartphone to justify such a whopping price bump, Fairphone need only prick the consumer conscience — as it asks you pay a bit more and settle for a little less.

Neither of these sales pitches is challenge free, of course. And, for now, both foldables and fairer electronics remain curious niches.

But with the Fairphone 3 demonstrating that ethical can feel so normal it doesn’t seem beyond the pale to imagine demand for electronics that are average in performance yet pack an ethical punch scaling up to challenge the mainstream parade of copycat gadgets.

Android – TechCrunch

Fairphone 3 is a normal smartphone with ethical shine How long have you been using your current smartphone? The answer for an increasing number of consumers is years, …

[whirlybirbs]

first kiss.

summary: ben takes you, the princess he’s been assigned to guard, to the markets as his time on cardota nears it’s end. confessions are made and kisses are had. word count: 1.5k rating: T, some kisses ok? a/n: i wanted to write fluff ok here u go! also, this falls in line with my other jedi!ben pieces. if u wanna read ‘em, here’s the masterlist! 

pls dear god donate to my ko-fi, i have 8ams every morning and i am stupid broke. i actually need coffee. pls. help me.

“I can’t believe you brought me here.”

His laugh is bright -- like the sun on a warm day -- and you can’t help the contagiousness of it all. Your own smile is blooming, big and fearless, as you grip his hand and follow him through the bustling market. Ben’s glancing back, stealing encouraging looks, every few steps as you blink around in pure awe -- you could kiss him.

Market stalls bubble over with the spices and familiar staples of Cardotan delicacies. Voices raise and shout and laugh and you grin as Ben dips through a stall of jewelry and juts his thumb at the ornate jadeite pieces dangling from the roof. The stall owner gives you a smile and you stumble over the embarrassment stuck on your face as Ben is stretching and reaching to pull a necklace from a high hook.

In Cardotan, the woman chides that Ben is a nice catch. Good husband material, she says.

Tugging the scarf close to your face, you say nothing and simply nod. Your face is hot with embarrassment and Ben, meanwhile, bumps you a bit and tosses the stall owner his own credits. You give him a bit of a mortified look, cocking a hip to the side as he gives that stupid, boyish smirk of his.

“What? Why that look? It’s a gift.”

“Ben,” you shove his arm, “No.”

“Ben, yes,” Ben’s hands meet your shoulders and the padawan moves to clasp the necklace around your neck; it’s beautifully crafted with a pale green color and flowers carved into the beading, “Something from me, okay? So you don’t forget me after you move onto the next Jedi knight.”

“Ben, do you know what those beads --”

“Cost? Yes, I paid for it.”

“No --”

“Yes.”

You could kiss him.

Ben grins at how your nose scrunches and how your face goes red. Your fingers pinch at his sides and he tugs you close, looping his arms around your shoulders. You figure if he doesn’t know the significance of the beads, then it’s fine. You’ll hide them in your room later from your mother. She doesn’t need to know your personal guard just essentially proposed marriage.

“How could I forget you?” you roll your eyes and as Ben leads you through the market towards the food stalls, he thinks maybe this is a sweet moment. His chest hammers for a moment, throat going a bit dry as he blinks down at you. You meet his big brown eyes with an amused gaze. And then, you say, “You’re insufferable. Absolutely the worst. I couldn’t forget you if I tried, Ben Solo.”

“Good,” he grins, moving to steal your hand as he begins to shoulder his way through the crowds once more.

He’s tall, standing nearly a foot taller than yourself, and sticks out like a sore thumb. His padawan robes are dark, though, and they help him blend into the rick Cardotan urban landscape a bit. Ben wiggles through the market, fingers knotted tightly in your own as your other hand clutches the scarf to your face with purpose.

If you were to be recognized? Well, it wouldn’t be the best of situations.

You try your best not to admire the clear definition of his broad shoulders beneath his robes and certainly try to worm your gaze away from his backside to the best of your ability. But, it’s hard. Ben is handsome, and with every smile he shoots you, you swear you’re closer to kissing him silly.

Ben thinks about kissing you a lot. Late at night when Snoke is in his head, you’re a distraction from it all. You keep his heart busy, beating on towards the light. You look so different in a tunic -- less regal but still so beautiful. Your thick braid sways as you walk.

He could kiss you.

Ben tugs you into a bustling restaurant; he quickly motions for a table and you’re both escorted to a small corner in the back of the establishment. Tugging your tunic, you settle to the pillow on the floor and cross your legs -- Ben does the same but with much less grace. The boy’s limbs are far too long for his body. The nineteen year old clears his throat as he’s handed a menu by the server.

“For you and your wife, sir,” the man bows, stealing a quick glance towards you and the necklace around your neck.

Ben blanches, stumbling over his words. “Oh, uh, we’re not --”

“Thank you,” you bow, cutting Ben off and stealing him a look as the waiter dashes off.

Ben blinks, eyes wide. “Married? Why would he --”

“Ben,” you sigh, pinching the bride of your nose, “I was trying to explain… The necklace.”

The teenager pales, back going stiff and lips twitching in concern. “Oh no.”

“I mean,” you shrug, “It’s just a gesture -- an old tradition. Jadite is a sacred gem here on Cardota and it’s typically associated with fertility and passion; to Cardotan’s, it is a symbol of commitment. Though, nowadays, you have to go through the courts and --”

A pause.

Ben ducks his face into his hands. “Are you going to divorce me?”

Your words fall short and you close your eyes, snorting as Ben peeks out from his own hands and grins. His voice is laced with amusement. “I can’t live without you.”

You could kiss him.

And still, for some reason, the words strike you hard in the chest -- a bit like a punch. You wish, maybe, he meant it. That he would stay forever and never leave and be by your side for the rest of your days. You fight the somber slip of emotions that swallows you whole, but Ben notices it as soon as it happens. The force laps at your soul like the kiss of a wave; he’s prying.

He surprised when he feels the same emotions that dig in his chest late at night. With each day winding away, he comes closer to leaving you. And though Luke talks about connection and how dangerous it can be, Ben swears you’re the closest thing to the light he’s ever seen. His chest aches and so he reaches out and steals your hand again.

“I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“No,” you shake your head, “I just… I don’t want you to leave is all, Ben.”

“Can I be honest?”

His voice is soft and it scares you. You nod.

“I don’t want to leave either.”

He feels your heart hammer like his own. He feels the coil of affection wind tighter in your gut just like it does in his. The force kisses his senses with the warmth of your emotions and it’s intoxicating. Your flooded with relief, a small smile lifting your lips. Ben thinks it’s the prettiest thing he’s ever seen. He stares a moment too long.

He could kiss you.

“Then don’t,” you say, “Stay with me.”

He moves, slipping around the table to your side and knocking knees with your own. In the corner, pressed away from the rest of the diner, he speaks like he’s not a Jedi. Like attachments are allowed and he’s in love. He is, he knows he is, but he’s pushed it away for the sake of his brain. If Luke ever figured out? He’d be kicked out. But, for you -- Ben thinks it might be worth it.

“Do you mean that?” his words are quiet, face close to yours as the scarf slips from your face and you nod. His fingers tug at your own; you swallow.

“I do,” you mumble, “I… If you would. I’d have you stay. A-And…”

“...And?”

Your eyes catch his lips then dart back to his big brown eyes. He looks scared, and for the first time you see Ben Solo vulnerable. Your words are warm. “And we’d be together. Because I care about you. You’re the first person to treat me like a person and not a porcelain doll. You’re brave and smart and handsome and --”

He kisses you.

His nose bumps yours and he misses your mouth a bit, but he grins so big and wide that you can’t complain, especially as his hands secure themselves to the sides of your jaw. Eyes fleet shut, digging to grip his robes and tug him closer as you both throw caution to the wind. It’s sweet and slow and gentle but you both pull away breathless and wade even deeper into the growing sea of affection. Ben’s face is pink, ears hot as he cards a hand through his mess of hair.

“So,” he breathes, lips meeting yours once again as you grin, “That necklace.”

“Are you proposing to me, Ben Solo?”

“No, god no,” he grins, “Not yet.”

Not yet.

You kiss him.

[softboywriting]

Sugar, I’m Goin’ Down// Bad Boy Shawn // Chapter Three

Chapter One | Chapter Two

Chapter two Recap:

“Why do you need them?” you mumble

He grins big and shakes his head. “Ah, ah, ah I won’t tell you that.” He kisses you, lips pressing firmly against yours. His other hand leaves the wall and he pulls your flush against him. He’s kissing, licking, biting his way into your mouth. You moan softly because he feels so good, his mouth is so hot and fits against yours perfectly. You’re body feels like it’s becoming super heated and you can’t think straight. All you can focus on his chasing his tongue with your own as your hands find their way to his chest, sliding open that stupid black denim jacket. He’s solid muscle beneath the soft black t-shirt and your imagination runs wild. What was he doing to you to make you want him so bad? You body was practically screaming to be on top of his. You’re panting, whimpering against him, silently begging for more and he grabs a handful of your hair, pulling your head back to kiss his way down your throat. “There’s a catch,” he says between kisses, his hand on your side sliding down into your pajama pants and palming at your ass, “I want these ones.”

Shawn pushes you back on your bed and smirks down at you. He shrugs his jacket off and tosses it aside before crawling over you, kissing you, biting your lips and rolling his hips against yours. He slides a hand down the front of your sleep pants and rubs your through your panties. You’re throbbing, wet, and so ready for him to touch you the way no one else has. “You’re so sweet,” he mumbles, nipping at your jaw as he slides his hand down into your panties. His touch makes you jump and you hadn’t realized you would be so sensitive when it wasn’t your own hand.

You roll your hips up into his fingers as they work over your clit. Each time he squeezes that little bud just right you feel heat flood through your body. You’re panting, mewling for him to touch you more. It’s ridiculous how gone you are for him when you hated his guts only a week or so ago. Shawn slides his middle finger into you slowly and your mouth falls open in a silent scream. It’s unlike anything you’d imagined. You’d only ever used your vibrator on your clit to get off.

“Damn, are you a…” Shawn trails off and stills his hand against you.

“Yeah,” you flush, a little embarrassed that you were nearly twenty one and hadn’t gotten to second base with a guy yet. School always came first and the few guys you dated didn’t get the chance to try and get in your pants. Maybe you came off as a shrewd. Maybe you didn’t give the right hints. Or maybe they just weren’t the right guys.

Shawn grins and moves his finger in and out of your slowly, stroking upwards and making your body jerk every time he hit a certain spot. He kisses you again, licking into your mouth and making you moan beneath him. He flicks his thumb over your sensitive clit and you feel yourself getting close. Just as you think you’re going to come, he adds another finger, stretching you a bit and you cry out, his name on your lips. He doesn’t stop. He fingerfucks you through your orgasm and kisses the moans right out of your mouth. He pulls away, sliding his hand out of your pants just long enough to get your sleep pants and panties off. He pushes your knees open, looking at you and you try to close them but it’s no use, he’s stronger than you. Shawn ducks his head and licks a long stripe up your slit and groans loudly. He closes his lips around your clit and sucks, tongue flicking back and forth relentlessly.

Your hand finds his hair and you pull hard. “I-I cant!” You toss your head back and forth, the sensation of his hot wet mouth on you was driving you insane. He pulls back and says, “Be a good girl for me.” before sealing his mouth against you once more, sucking and licking the sensitive skin until it was reddened and throbbing. He dips his tongue into you, teasing, licking up to your clit before doing it again, pressing in just a bit more each time. You buck up into his mouth as he presses his tongue into you completely, lapping at you until you’re begging him to stop, no more…more, more, you want more. You didn’t want him to ever stop. You push his head down and he pushes your legs up by the back of your thighs. His mouth is everywhere at once and nowhere long enough. He closes his lips over your clit once more, tongue slightly rough and relentless as he holds you still and you buck against him, pulling his hair hard as you come with his face buried between your legs.

Shawn pulls away and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. He stares down at you, spent, breathing hard and fast. He crawls off the bed and grabs his jacket and stuffs your panties in the pocket. “Thanks for the gift, sweetheart.” With that he leaves your room and you’re left laying in your bed completely wrecked.

_____

Rage. Pure Rage. You were seeing red as you stood in the Architecture courtyard and Shawn’s friend were laughing at you. They were dicks. All of them. Including Shawn because he was standing there, saying nothing as they called you “Easy” and “Gullible” and essentially made fun of you like teenagers because you had let Shawn get you out of your panties. The snickering started as you approached Shawn to talk to him that Monday. You had just wanted to talk about what happened on early Saturday morning. Really you weren’t sure what you were going to say, thank you? Can we do it again? Do I owe you? It was bad enough you were feeling some type of way for Shawn and you were already trying to repress it but this…this was actually your worst nightmare.

“Hey, in case you haven’t noticed, Shawn played you,” says Andrew with a laugh. “It was dare.”

A dare. A fucking dare? His shit friends dared him to fucking get your panties? And why? Because you showed some sort of interest in him and he was what…out of your league? What kind of young adult men did this kind of petty shit? This was a high school freshmen getting played by a senior level joke. “Shawn, are you fucking kidding me?” you yell and shove him. He doesn’t budge. He doesn’t say anything and just looks at his friends. “Fuck you!”

“It was just a dare. Sorry you got some feelings,” Shawn says and rolls his eyes. “Not my fault you were a willing little virgin.”

That was it. You pull your arm back and punch him in the jaw. He stumbles back, catching himself on the fountain and his friends let out a collective “Oh shit!” You hold your fist, it’s aching from the contact. “Fuck you. You’re a prick and just when I thought you might actually be a decent guy. I should have known you were just a piece of shit like them.” His friends start protesting and you walk away, tears stinging your eyes. It was stupid of you to have let it go so far. To let yourself think he was into you. You should have never let him in your room. Never let him touch you. Never even talked to him or thanked him for saving you.

______

It’s been days since Shawn…happened. You kept dreaming about him, waking up wet and needy for him. You hated yourself for it. Hated that you wanted him. Hated everything about him because he was just a player. You avoided him at all cost and he didn’t show up for any of your classes together which you were glad for. Being paired with him at this time would not be good.

You’re sitting in the library, head in your hands as you take a break from your English assignment. It was due tomorrow and you couldn’t seem to like anything you were writing. It all felt like shit and your ideas were hairbrained and poorly connected. Someone taps you on your shoulder and you look up to see Shawn standing beside you with a coffee cup.

“Go away,” you mutter and put your head back in your hands. As much as you wanted him sexually, you couldn’t stand the sight of him. “Please, just leave Shawn.” He sets the cup of coffee down and takes a seat across from you. Did he not understand the words ”go away”?

“About the other day…”

You look up, glaring at him. Was he really doing this right now? Couldn’t he see you were stressed about this assignment? God he was stupid. “You realize there is nothing you can say that is going to make up for what you did. You’re an asshole.”

Shawn scrubs his hand over his face and looks out into the library. “I like you…a lot and the other night I…I got carried away,” he says and you laugh mockingly at him. You don’t take a girls panties under the rouse that it was some sort of scavenger hunt and make her the butt of a joke if you like her. “They dared me to do it. I couldn’t just say no. Do you know what they’d say if they found out I actually like you?”

“Oh, and what’s wrong with me?!” You throw your pen down on the table and it bounces off to hit him in the chest. “Am I not pretty enough?! Am I too fat?! Is it because I care about getting an education and you’re just here to waste grant money?!” you close your laptop and start shoving your things into your bag. “You’re caught up in your bullshit fucking bad boy persona and you only care about your garbage friends liking you.” You swing your bag over your shoulder and turn to leave. You pick up the coffee and throw it at him. It pops open as it hits him and he just sits there with warm liquid soaking his shirt and jacket.

Shawn is left sitting there in silence as you walk out to go finish your assignment at home. He didn’t even try to fight back which surprised you and you can only hope your words got through to him.

[charmsoloved]

isolation and solitude

i finished quit like a woman today. finishing a book wasn't something i had done in a couple years. i honestly can't remember what book i finished last.

a million things are pouring out of me at once. awareness maginifed a million times. emotions pouring out of me in a million different ways. self-realizations from a million different stand points. it's hard to know where to begin.

first off, i am okay with whatever happens. typically, that's not the case. typically, i kick and scream and fight my way to hold onto it only the fighting essentially makes me lose it in the end. this time though, if this isn't meant for me with him, then i'm okay with that. if this isn't the end and it's only a break to come back stronger, I'm okay with that too.

i talk big talk when I'm with my friends. I say i'm ready to put my foot down and that i'm going to and then I crumble when see him. it's hard because everything fell into place so perfectly. jesus blessed us immensely and it felt like fate. I guess what felt like fate felt like it was going to be easy. but i'm still growing. he's got a lot to learn still, too. I regressed to my old ways with adrian. i almost couldn't recognize myself anymore. i became angry and panicked that I was going to be rejected again - abandoned.

its hard to come to terms with the fact that I am choosing to be okay with whatever happens. that isn't something that occurs often for me. i consistently try to fight and manipulate and victimize myself in whatever way possible so at least there's still some kind of emotional connection. but what kind of emotional connection is okay if it's hurting the one you love? I don't want to be like this anymore. i want to be that girl he saw the potential in.

his words sting. they punch me right in the gut and knock the wind out of me. as if I don't consistently beat my head against the wall everyday telling myself I'll start tomorrow instead of starting in that exact moment of being who truly can be and not what I am trying to be for others.

I need to rely on myself for once. i never do. i worry and wait for someone to come rescue me. as I'm writing this entry i'm secretly hoping he'll walk through that door just for some attention that I am okay with being without him, i'm occupied with becoming my best self. i jolt every time I hear the gate. everytime I hear some keys. in hope and anticipation that'll be him about to walk through the door. even in the moments where the energy is terrible, I just want his presence but then that the same time I cant stand it. i purposely try to draw attention to myself by making my presence known - even if it's an annoying way.

it's honestly disgusting. why do I crave validation so much that I need to be seen and heard and praised every second of the day? is it because of the way things began with us? did I get so high off that acceptance and love that I consistently and constantly keep looking for ways to get more of it? How can I be so selfish?

I really want to un-do the ways my life has affected my behaviors. or well, how my behaviors have affected my life. i decided to fast this week. at least during my work week. i didn't listen to music that fed my mind with sad or negative or angry lyrics. i didn't watch tv to watch more toxic relationships unfold. I chose to do nothing that distracted me. i got rid of my social media - facebook was a killer at work though, let's be honest. but i didn't want to feed my mind and narrative in any other way that the honest truth.

the truth is, i messed up. but we both did. it takes two to tango. but i didn't pay attention to my partners needs. i didn't respect the boundaries he so clearly drew in paint on the street. i chose to believe that love would be enough and no matter what i did, he would still love me and would still marry me. maybe this is because in the beginning, i kinda did get what i want and pretty often. he practically worshipped the ground i walked on and in every way i was lacking from T - kazi picked it up. he was sweet and generous and kind and respectful. he was everything i wanted in a man. we made connections and from the moment i looked him in the eyes on the couch at lisa's, i knew he was going to be mine forever. i tried to rush it, i tried to make sure it happened so i couldn't be abandoned. but then i didn't like being put into little boxes cause i hadn't quite worked out all my shit yet. when i met him, i was skeptical. i was terrified. i was terrified because being with him meant losing T. and that's someone i didn't have a chance to get over until it was really too late and i lost kazi (mutually, but really his choice but i barely gave in to it) i wasn't sure about kazi though. he is young. he's had so much shit just happen to him that someone like him should have never have had to go through.

its hard for me not to compare demand grace from him for me when he's done so graciously to others who have wronged him. but he does always seem to come around. and maybe that's just his process and way of compartmentalizing. who knows.

i'm tired of trying to sit here and "figure it out", i'm tired of dodging the bullet that this is what it is for now and possibly forever. for once i don't want to run into the arms of someone else. I've thought about it, but when it comes time to do so - i'd honestly just rather be alone and home in my environment. maybe that's a sign of growth. i'd usually run and avoid this at all costs. but i'm trying to be aware of my feelings and let them come and let them pass all in a moment. i'm trying to hold back from being reactional and irrational so quickly. i want to feel this truth for truly what it is. i want to learn from it this time. i don't want to run and hide and put my head under a pillow and scream and cry about how the world is unfair to me. this time, i want to do something about it. i want to become so selfless that this little menial shit doesn't matter anymore. what should matter is the bigger picture, what should matter is my purpose in serving jesus. I'm tired of being stuck in the same loop, over and over. i have to make changes if anything is going to go right in my life. i need to maintain the blessings i have. i need to grateful for them everyday. he has brought me so far when i have been so undeserving. i have committed sins that should have sent me straight to H E L L.

but for now, his grace is enough for me. i have faith that he will take care of all these problems hitting me from every which way at once. i know that if i stay true to myself and true to him that everything will work out not only in my favor, but his will. I pray that we are able to come back to a place where the love is found again. i hope that i can become someone i am truly proud of and proud to be. i hope that i can maintain myself despite my relationships so that i may serve the people i love. i just want to be OKAY. i don't even have to be great, just okay will satisfy me. i'm tired of filling myself up with things that don't serve me. i'm tired of consuming things of this world that do nothing for me. i'm tired of giving myself over to people and things that don't return anything back from me. jesus invested in me with his LIFE. I need to invest in myself and not in materialistic way but in a way that is pleasing to him.

jesus please help me. please make me better. please remove anything that is not for me. please allow me to be aware of the things that serve me and the things that do not. please take control of my life. literally take the wheel. i don't want it anymore, it's stressful. it's just as stressful as driving to taco bell and that's only 5 minutes away LOL but please god, help me. save me. make me whole in my eyes. fill the parts of me that are empty. heal the parts of me that are broken. use me as a vessel so that others may come to know you.

heal my relationship with kazi, please god. even if it's not what i want or expect or create in my head. please just make it manageable and peaceful.

[armorbirdpress]

Armor Bird Reviews: Black Panther

Heyo, it's been so freaking long since I've done a movie review! But in the wake of all the positive reactions, hype, and feels surrounding the Black Panther movie, I knew for a fact that I HAD to give it a review after seeing it this past weekend. I’ve already posted this review on the PPC Board, so if you want to check it out, the alternative link is here!

Black Panther is a 2018 American superhero film based on the Marvel Comics character of the same name, and is the eighteenth film in the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU). Directed by Ryan Coogler, and written by Coogler and Joe Robert Cole, it stars Chadwick Boseman as T'Challa/Black Panther, alongside Michael B. Jordan, Lupita Nyong'o, Danai Gurira, Martin Freeman, Daniel Kaluuya, Letitia Wright, Winston Duke, Angela Bassett, Forest Whitaker, and Andy Serkis. As with any MCU movie, a lot of fanfare and attention has been drawn to this film, and I was dying to see it to determine if it lived up to all the hype; I am so very glad that we got tickets in advance to watch this movie, because otherwise all the seats would’ve been taken by the time we got to the theater - there were just that many people who wanted to see it. And just as well, because good golly, it is an absolute masterpiece. Spoilers under the cut!

Starting things off with the writing and characterization, I have to say that almost all the characters in the film were enjoyable and engaging to watch, and there were plenty of great moments from everyone concerned. T'Challa, despite being the obvious star of the show, actually feels kinda stoic compared to the liveliness of quite a few of the secondary characters which I'll get to a bit later, but he still has a compelling storyline, and while I was worried that he'd remain somewhat static throughout the movie, there were quite a few gut punches that ensured that he'd grow as a person and also as a ruler. The movie did a good job of demonstrating that he had big shoes to fill in a metaphorical sense, and also that even if T'Chaka had tried to be the best example that he could be for his son, his past mistakes would still come to light eventually and force T'Challa to reevaluate his worldview. This is especially apparent when it becomes known that T'Chaka, when he had donned the Black Panther suit, had been forced to kill the Wakandan traitor whose son would grow up to become Killmonger. It was a split-second decision driven by the impulse to save the life of the other Wakandan spy present, but the urge to keep up appearances for the sake of the nation ended up having far-reaching consequences that would've resulted in far more unnecessary casualties if T'Challa and later M'Baku and his tribe hadn't intervened. That kind of split-second decision is mirrored in the story in general, when T'Challa's lack of information regarding Killmonger's origin story almost costs him the throne and even his life, only being saved by the intervention of M'Baku and his remaining allies' delivery of the last Heart-Shaped Herb. Eventually, after fighting his way back to his own kingdom, he's forced to deal with Killmonger using the only remaining option left after the failure of diplomacy and civility, through violence and possible death. This history essentially repeating itself is one of the biggest contributions to T'Challa's character growth, and also his decision to make Wakanda a more publicly open nation willing to use its resources to aid the world at large in the end. It shows that he's realized how much impact even very short-term decisions can have in a sort of ripple effect, as well as the major setback of trying to lock Wakanda as a whole behind figurative closed doors: that sort of isolationism prevents you from interacting with the world around you and, like it or not, making the kinds of mistakes needed to move forward.

Naturally, since T'Challa sets a pretty high bar, the secondary characters and antagonists kinda have to settle for being second fiddle, but they all have traits of their own that help move the plot forward. The main antagonist, the aforementioned Killmonger, is interesting among the other Marvel villains in that instead of the typical "KILL EVERYTHING" or "take over the world" MO (or sometimes both) without many reasons other than "MWAHAHA I'M EVIL", he actually has a rather valid and understandable reason for his actions. The recent instances of black people being persecuted simply for their color, even in the modern day and age, are a strong force of motivation grounded in a sad reality, although the means by which Killmonger was planning to achieve that goal - by waging war on every other race - were undoubtedly going to cause as many problems as they'd solve if not more. Another interesting factor is how Killmonger's rule essentially divides up the entire nation; while Shuri (whom I'll get to later) is loyal to T'Challa through and through, and goes out of her way to help him and his cause, other characters like Okoye (initially) and W'Kabi simply serve the man in the throne whether or not he's truly fighting for the force of good. This actually threatens to tear the nation apart during Killmonger's campaign, and again, it's only because T'Challa and M'Baku's tribe join forces to stop him that things don't escalate into all-out carnage. As a wise man once said, hate begets hate - whether you think it's justified or not, the total extermination of people who are different than you, even if a few gave you grief in the past, is the wrong way to act, and only makes you like those very people who attacked you first. I have to give props to T'Challa for not falling into the same trap that his father did and offing Killmonger directly; instead, he attempted to show mercy, as well as a Wakandan sunset like in the tales Killmonger had heard as a child, but rather than spend life in prison with his reputation in shambles, Killmonger chose to essentially commit suicide and end the cycle. Even if he nearly caused an all-out civil war within the Wakandan borders, Killmonger is still a tragic figure, and that makes a big impact on all of us.

My favorite character by far, however, has to be Shuri. It's established very early on that she's not only a child prodigy, but also a youthful, spunky teenager with a wholesome sense of humor (and in at least three instances, a penchant for memery, trolling, and cringe-inducing puns on almost the same level as Chibi Yang). While she seems to be a light-hearted comic relief, though, she also plays one of the most critical roles in the story - rescuing the Heart-Shaped Herb that would later be given to T'Challa for his second wind - and her humor is offset by a dedication to her responsibilities as well as her intimate knowledge of the ins and outs of the Black Panther role as well as his loyalty to T'Challa regardless of the situation. It's probably this that leads to her being so important in helping T'Challa recover, and I'm proud of her for being both the heart of the movie (T'Challa, of course, being the soul) and a nuanced and lovable character in her own right.

The writing of the movie is also quite well done due to the points noted above and much more. Racism, prejudice, loyalty, and the impact of even the smallest things are themes that are prominent throughout the entire movie. I was very concerned that the sole major white character, Everett Ross, would turn out to be a villain (though thankfully that wasn't the case, and he gets an awesome support role in the climax that Han Solo would be proud of), and Ulysses Klaue IS a secondary antagonist, but it's interesting that ultimately, the conflict is waged by blacks, among blacks. This ties into the concept that there is no such thing as reverse racism - even if it's blacks persecuting whites, it's still way over the line if it isn't in self-defense. The conflicting solutions proposed by T'Challa and Killmonger - coming to terms with the outside world and reaching out to lend aid to it vs. only looking out for your own and forsaking all others to keep them from harm - are an uncomfortable mirror to a lot of real-world politics in recent years, but in true MCU tradition, it's the idealistic approach that wins the day in the end, although as expected for a conflict as intense as this, there are still quite a few casualties at the end of it all, and unlike many other instances in the MCU and beyond, most of these are impactful and placed tactfully enough to move the story forward.

I dont' even need to say that the graphics and visuals of this movie are absolutely gorgeous. Wakanda as a city is stunning, the various African landscapes breathtaking, and the vehicle design and choreography as masterful as a Star Wars movie. The costume and character design as well are splendid, and it is at this point that I'd like to call attention to the costume designer for this movie: Ruth E. Carter, who's also done work for such films as "Malcom X" and "School Daze" - plus she's African, and has done extensive research for this movie's designs, drawing from a wide variety of African cultures. Really, this entire movie is a feast for the eyes and absolutely worth seeing for that fact alone. My one gripe is that the war rhinos seen early in the movie and then in the climax are notably CGI, and could've been improved with some animatronic work like in the first Jurassic Park movie (or heck, they could even have used real rhinos, but IDK how much hassle that would've resulted in), but that's a minor quibble that doesn't detract from an otherwise spectacular feature.

I'm well aware that complaints about this movie have had to be filtered extensively on RottenTomatoes to prevent Internet Racism(TM) from marring the reviews unnecessarily, but that's a can of worms I'm not going into for the sake of my dignity. On my own terms, however, I do have one suggestion for improving the movie: instead of murdering Klaue just halfway through the movie, Killmonger could've just as easily pounded him into submission and forced him to work for him as a sort of Dragon (in TV Tropes lingo). T'Challa and Ross vs. Killmonger and Klaue would've been interesting to see, especially considering how threatening Klaue was with his cyborg arm and what it could do to both T'Challa and those poor innocent vehicles involved in the car chase in Korea. He'd have made an interesting secondary antagonist that could've opportunistically interfered with the warring parties and stirred up tensions just to tear down Wakanda out of spite. I'm not about to suggest an "Everett vs. Klaue" scenario - which was actually what Everett was planning in the first place when he entered this movie - but giving Klaue a bigger role before he gets offed would've made said murder more impactful and karmatic after all he's done. That's largely splitting hairs, though - I'm sure there are people who instead feel that Killmonger getting rid of Klaue early prevents competition. Who knows?

On a final note, here are two things I really want to see in future MCU films: 1) a movie with a predominantly Asian cast and setting, and 2) a movie starring Devil Freaking Dinosaur. I'll admit that both of these are kinda self-centered, but the first one in particular is probably more desirable at large because there aren't that many Asian characters at all in the MCU (Mantis from Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 2 and Colleen Wing from the Iron Fist TV show are probably the only ones I can think of off the top of my head, though I may have missed a few more), but one of the big things I'm noticing from the Black Panther release is that African-American and black children have come to look up to him as a hero in the same way that a lot of girls look up to Wonder Woman with the number growing since her own film release - so if the same thing could happen with an Asian superhero, that would be amazing. A quick look at the Marvel Comics online archives presents me with Shang-Chi, Master of Kung Fu, who has actually joined the Avengers in the comics and would make a very interesting and cool addition to their MCU incarnation. As for Devil Dinosaur, I don't even need to explain why he'd become beloved if he ever shows up in a MCU movie, even as a minor character... just keep him away from the palaeo-discourse and he should be fine.

All in all,

Black Panther

isn't a perfect movie, but it's very close to being one and I'm so happy for its success. While there are a few minor things I feel would've been worth fixing here and there, I don't see any obvious faults and certainly none that detract from how amazing it is. Do yourself a favor and give it a spin - I can promise that you'll be in for a visual and auditory treat from start to finish.

Grading Scheme:

96 - 100: A+

93 - 96: A

90 - 92.9: A-

87 - 89.9: B+

83 - 86.9: B

80 - 82.9: B-

77 - 79.9: C+

73 - 76.9: C

70 - 72.9: C-

67 - 69.9: D+

60 - 66.9: D

Below 60: E

Grades:

Writing: 9

Characterization: 9

Pacing: 8

Creativity: 9

Consistency: 9

Cinematography: 10

World Building: 9

Music and Sound: 10

Effects: 9

Engagement: 9

Final Grade: 91 (A-)

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #122: Trapped in Outer Space!

April, 1974

Lil’ Vision is disgruntled that he doesn’t understand the symbolism of the Avengers bursting through a page of their own book.

Anyway, last times: Taurus assembles a new Zodiac to pull off a dastardly scheme! The death of every Gemini in Manhattan!

The Avengers foiled this craven plot but the Zodiac escaped by blasting the all empathetic mystery girl Mantis and running while the Avengers saved her from falling to her death.

But gadzooks! Unrest in the houses of Zodiac! Aries sways a good number of the Zodiac into backing his revolution against Taurus! He tries to get financier Van Lunt to back him too, not realizing Van Lunt is Taurus!

When the Avengers burst into the warehouse to capture Zodiac, they and the revolting members are blasted into space because the warehouse was secretly a spaceship!

This time: The final battle, I guess. Also, trapped in outer space with some pretty rad narration.

God, I love comics at times like this. It would probably have been more cost effective to just pack the warehouse with explosives and blow the place up. Thor and Vision may have survived but you’d pretty much guarantee the death of everyone else.

But Van Lunt decided to build a spaceship disguised as a warehouse and then launch it into space. Its so delightfully, stupidly supervillainous.

I also love the two page spread that follows the first splash page.

Thor explains the situation in his Asgardian vernacular: “Behold! The trap of Taurus for the members of Zodiac who did plot against his leadership hath been perfectly sprung... too perfectly for those of us who did combat their villainy!”

And then Pisces, I think, just shouts “Good lord! We’re in ORBIT!”

The juxtaposition gets me.

Anyway, inexplicably-white-for-a-panel-Aries is sure the heroes will save everyone but Iron Man is unsure. There’s a force field covering the exits. Which, thankfully, is what is letting them keep breathing.

Thor decides he wants to hit it with his hammer. It’s what he knows.

He throws Mjolnir hard enough that it bursts through the force field. Except, the space warehouse is in orbit. And Mjolnir is a bit dumber during this time. It boomerangs back to where it was thrown but the space warehouse has floated on.

And Thor belatedly realizes that he’s jumped the gun a bit and jumps behind some boxes so nobody sees him transform back into Don Blake.

Of course, the members of Zodiac aren’t complete idiots. They just dress like it. They figure out something is off about Thor and decide that now - while they’re trapped in space - is the best time to get ‘im!

So the Avengers have to beat up Zodiac some more to keep them from Thor (actually Don Blake).

Also, Aries apparently stole a handheld Star-Blazer because he blasts Vision and Iron Man with it before Vision blasts it out of his hands and yells logic at them.

Even if they learn Thor’s secret, it will be worthless if they have to carry it into their graves. Which will happen if they can’t work together and figure out a way to rescue themselves. BECAUSE THEY ARE TRAPPED IN OUTER SPACE!

“Don’t you understand that we are in space? Oxygen, food, warmth: all lie below us -- not here!”

Also, the space warehouse has a limited amount of oxygen and fighting will just use it up faster. Probably lost some too when Mjolnir breached the force field.

Meanwhile, we check in with the non-rebelling Zodiac. All... geez, only five of them? Taurus, Capricorn, Virgo, Gemini and Libra?

Anyway, Taurus is gloating about his space warehouse trap and about maybe it was lucky to catch the Avengers in on it but the rest was just great planning.

Libra feels that this is the best time to mention that he knew ahead of time about the revolt. And that he turned down the offer to join because he represent the balance and doesn’t choose sides.

For some reason, learning this doesn’t make Taurus happy. The fact that he controls the Star-Ship, built the Star-Blaster and most of Zodiac’s other weapons should be the reason not to rebel against him. Not because of neutrality.

In fact, GET OUT OF HIS FACE YOU LOYAL ZODIACS. THEY DON’T HAVE THE GUTS TO STAND UP TO HIM ANYWAY.

So they do. Gemini and Libra go off on a walk together. Gemini sympathizes with all the stresses Taurus must be under. He busted Gemini out of jail and kidnapped a man from under the Avengers’ noses so that he could have all the houses of Zodiac full for his big push and then it falls apart.

And then Libra starts beating up Gemini. For while Gemini has the strength of two men, Libra can see despite being blind. And no, he’s not Daredevil. The comic captions dismiss that possibility.

He’s just a guy that does what Daredevil do but evil and while wearing short shorts.

Having beaten up Gemini, Libra ties him up and finds the good Gemini twin (I wanna say Lawrence?) in the trance his brother forced him into.

He then slaps him awake.

It took all my strength not to crudely photoshop “MY PARENTS ARE DEAD” into that.

He asks the good Gemini twin to imitate his brother and keep Taurus occupied while Libra steals’ the Star-Ship for some mysterious reason.

Being the good twin, Lawrence? promises to try not to let Libra down.

BACK IN SPACE! Remember how Vision said that they needed to work together to get back to Earth? Well, the Avengers have changed their minds during the scene break. Now all they want is for Zodiac to not get in their way while they do all the work.

Vision will guard the pile of boxes Don Blake is hiding behind. Scarlet Witch will use her hex sphere to temporarily create a way through the force field. And Iron Man will fly outside to manually push the space warehouse back to Earth.

Because he has a self-enclosed oxygen supply and rocket boots. He’s the only man for the job.

And oh cool, he spots Mjolnir just floating in space.

Since they’re in micro gravity, Mjolnir is weightless and Iron Man can carry it without being worthy - a loophole that would anger many when Red Hulk used it down the line.

Of course, Iron Man is just loopholing to bring Mjolnir with them so its not stranded in orbit forever.

Anyway. The plan. Since the space warehouse is weightless, it should be no trouble for him to use the propulsion of his foot-jets to push the building rocket back to Earth. If his air supply doesn’t run out. And if his power supply doesn’t run out. And if the strain doesn’t cause problems with his heart.

Yup. No trouble at all.

Although the trouble comes from a different direction that Iron Man should really have seen coming.

When they get closer to Earth, Mjolnir becomes more affected by Earth’s gravity and Iron Man can no longer lift it when it pins his wrist against the top of the space warehouse.

Which means he’s trapped and can’t move around to slow the ship’s descent. Which means that they’re going to burn up in reentry. All because Tony wanted to be a good bro and fetch his bro’s enchanted croquet mallet.

Common courtesy will be our deaths, time after time.

But not this time because something suddenly slows down the space warehouse - making everyone inside comically slam to the floor.

Libra in the Zodiac Star-Cruiser (I thought it was Star-Ship?) has caught the space warehouse in a secondary force field and lowers it safely to the ground.

But why?

You’re going to have to wait for that because we need to check in on Mantis and Swordsman.

Swordsman is feeling pretty shitty. He wasn’t there when she got hurt and now all he can do is sit at her bedside and hope that being beside her will help. And think secret doubts that she would rather the Vision be at her side. And that Vision himself might be into her.

Insecure paranoia is not helped when Mantis bolts to awareness and proclaims “Vision! He’s in trouble! This one must help!”

And then she runs out of the room.

Swordsman tries to stop her and have her rest longer but he collapses, still too weak from his own injuries. Just falling to the floor and thinking sad thoughts about how she is going to Vision.

And now we check back in with Zodiac HQ where Taurus is having an intimate conversation with who he thinks is Gemini.

See, Gemini is the only one of the non-revolting Zodiac who knows that Taurus is secretly Zodiac’s financier Cornelius Van Lunt.

Good Twin Lawrence? tries to bluff that their friendship has seen them through a lot but Van Lunt only showed his face to Joshua Link the previous day when he visited him in jail.

And like a person uncomfortable that they just had a personal conversation with the wrong person, Van Lunt punches the fake Gemini out and bellows in rage.

Capricorn and Virgo show up to find out what the dealio and Taurus tells them to spread out and find Libra and the real Gemini. Someone is playing funny business and they’re dead when Taurus gets his hands on them.

Except not. Because the Star-Cruiser-Ship lands and there’s Libra. Also the renegade houses of Zodiac and the Avengers.

But Taurus didn’t get to be the leader of Zodiac and a highly successful amoral businessman without some leadership abilities.

With barely any effort he convinces the renegade houses to side with him and kill the Avengers. After all, the best they can hope for with the Avengers is to be thrown in jail at the end of this anyway.

And yeah. This is reasonable enough. In answer, Aries blasts Thor with the Star-Blazer blaster.

And is there much to say? Straight up fights between the Avengers and Zodiac tend to be a stomp, one way or another. And this is an issue with ‘final battle’ on the cover and there’s only three pages left.

So. Yeah.

The Avengers kick butts. Scarlet Witch even gets back at Virgo for wanging her in the noggin. And the whole time, the Avengers are saying stuff like “their faithlessness must needs be ruthlessly met!” and “‘Never switch horses in midstream’ -- especially twice!”

Vision and Van Lunt Taurus have a sort of face off. Vision dodges a Star-Blazer blast and solar beams Taurus into a pool of water.

And then he quips. Twice!

“Your solar power can’t match my stellar energy!” “If you read that in your stars, Van Lunt, you need a new horoscope!”

“Perhaps the water of your pool will cool your temper”

Although, that one is spoiled somewhat when Van Lunt instantly starts drowning. The guy cannot swim at all. Him escaping the flood that seemingly killed him in issue #81 was apparently a fluke of luck.

But Vision hesitates instead of jumping in to save the drowning supervillain.

And then Mantis out of nowhere jumps into the pool to save the drowning Van Lunt.

And Thor is really disappointed in Vision over this. “We have won our battle, Avenger -- but thine actions rob the deed of any honor!”

Scarlet Witch begs him to tell her why he froze up (the second time after the quicksand when they fought Dormammu).

And Vision... just does not know! He half-remembers a thing but its just replaced by fear that his computer brain is malfunctioning. Clearly this will be unpacked further going forward. And later retconned.

Since Vision can’t explain his actions, Thor goes for the runner up and demands Libra explain himself.

Libra admits that saving the Avengers was a mistake.

“You see, I thought Mantis had been trapped with you -- and I am her father!”

DUN DUN DUN!!!

Clearly that will be unpacked further going forward! Like, the very next issue.

But since we’re still on this issue, let’s talk about Zodiac.

Boy are they disappointing. They’re all top crime bosses. The top of their respective organizations. But most of the times, they all happily play henchmen to whoever the boss is - Scorpio or Aries or Taurus.

So they all have unique costumes but they mostly play mook.

Its not even clear whether they have their own powers.

Gemini does - having the strength of two men and being able to psychically possess his twin.

Taurus evidentally has some kind of superstrength - he beat Aries in a headbutt contest and he was able to hold his own against Red Wolf, a pretty buff young man with his own vague powers.

Sagittarius was supposedly the weapon designer but then it was revealed that Taurus designed most of their weaponry.

Libra is blind but has Daredevilian senses (and later demonstrates a sort of scales-themed power).

But the most of them are just people in weird costumes who exist to have their asses kicked by the Avengers. Not even sure why crime bosses would be fighting the Avengers on their own. Don’t they have crime organizations to call on for mooks and stuff?

Zodiac could be a really cool group if more was done to flesh out and differentiate the members. You could get a really good long story arc out of revealing information about the Zodiac organization little by little. Having the members show up and be tough guys one by one.

They’re not just strong people. They’re twelve people that scraped and clawed their way to the top. Zodiac is twelve peers who have pooled the resources of twelve powerful criminal organizations for plots that could threaten the world.

On a good day.

There’s so much you could do with the Zodiac theme in terms of personality and goals and abilities.

Not gonna lie though. Zodiac is pretty great if you read them as a doofy bunch of criminal larpers who take the premise super seriously while they also conduct crimes.

Maybe Zodiac is better in other books. But in the Avengers’ book, they’ve always been a bit lackluster.

But hey! Mantis backstory next time! If the first panel of next issue doesn’t have Mantis screaming “That’s not true! That’s impossible!” I may quit.

But hey! Consider following @essential-avengers. I’ve been cleaning up older posts and archiving them there. Via reblogs.