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dw is a mid kid's sci-fi tv show and it's quality level has been mostly entirely consistent (mid, basically, with the occasional very good episode to balance out with crimes against humanity it sometimes produces) the whole reboot, and anybody acting like the Only thing going into peoples opinions of the characters are writing preferences are either Deeply naive or are trying to hide something they know people will not take kindly to.
#dw shit#but look. If you seriously think the one Single doctor without depth is 13 then that is a You having a woman issue. it just is.#there's lots of it#there's thousands upon thousands of words of meta about her and her characters online#as there is for Every Other Doctor#because they All have depth#if you fail to see it the one time you're Not presented with a dude that's not my problem#nor am i gonna hold any hands#i'm not trying to convince you of anything i'm not your mother#but sometimes a duck is just a duck and I will call it a duck#this isn't about Liking the story it's about having a brain not cooked in misogyny to even See it#to start with (you failed the challenge)#kinda hoping the large number of people living up rtd's ass will save gatwa from some of this treatment but i'm not holding my breath#'but I personally would never!' okay but... what about all your buddies??? what about everybody else?? if you're distancing yourself from#Those Bad People you are admitting they exist and there was no point getting pissed at me for pointing out they exist#the lady (gender neutral) doth protest too much#look i don't like Rose much (the og) but you can Bet i've seen some Questionable takes on why she's bad and i'll call them that#the classism and the sexism and the noxious fumes#you can just. Admit that. Even about characters you dislike lol pls
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there is a world of difference between "this person was fired for supporting palestine" and "this person was fired for being a raging antisemite" and you do in fact need to actually look at what that person said to determine which it is. it sets a dangerous precedent to consider any support of palestine inherently antisemitic but it is just as dangerous to excuse antisemitism under the guise of supporting palestine.
#text#this isn't even just about celebrities either like there was some post going around a while ago that was outraged about some doctor#which literally included a screenshot of his post where he praised hamas for october 7th?#and tbh if you are both a) cruel enough to celebrate a terrorist attack and b) stupid enough to post that under your real name and face#then yeah! fuck around and find out#you can't just read a headline and assume the comments that got them fired were blown out of proportion by the (((media)))#but you also can't assume that they must have been fired for literally agreeing with hitler either#you need to read what they actually said and determine for yourself whether it was warranted or not#also related to the online outrage around the celebrities signing that letter about wanting hamas to release the hostages#calling everyone who signed it a genocide supporter for. literally wanting hostages released.#and wanting israelis and palestinians to be free to live in peace. anyone who signed that letter is now an evil genocidal zionist apparentl#because people didn't read the letter themselves and just assumed that must be true!#i/p#antisemitism
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i got annoyed at my mam for thinking i have pcos but actually recent developments make me think i do have it yayyy another problem to the pile
#this month i have to send 1000 emails make 1000 doctors appointments find a place to live find a job. -_-#applying for some online tutoring jobs i hope i get one... wld be so nice to work from my room + i think i have a good chance since i can#tutor french as well as the basic humanities#i hate talking to teenagers though but whateverrr as long as theyre paying me
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Hello friends! Just a quick kh4f programming note: I'll be out of commission for most of, if not all of today, as I'm having a minor medical procedure done. (Outpatient, everything's fine, dw! 🫶🏻) So if anything notable happens (fully expecting Ash to announce ai2 the second I'm sedated 😌) and I'm MIA... that's why lol. Try not to have too much fun without me! 😘💙
#i overslept the day Superbloom was announced so it would only be right for Ashton to announce his next album while I'm anesthetized 😂#i almost hope he does that'd be so perfect lmao#what other chaos might happen#if he randomly goes live - someone record it for me#if he randomly announces a concert and tickets go on sale in 5 minutes - someone buy me a ticket#if he finally reveals the back tattoo i've been begging for for the past 5 years -#someone call my doctor and ask her to put me under for longer bc I'm not ready for that#do u like how this entire scenario only involves Ashton content#if one of his friends posts something that'll be a fun treat for me to wake up to 😌#but if it's Luke being slutty someone warn me bc I might want to stay on hospital property to consume that in my weakened state#fr tho i'm fine don't worry i'm just having some testing done no big deal#well a big deal to me bc i have ✨trauma✨ from this particular test when i had it done in the past 😜#but we're being Brave and doing it anyways ✌🏻#and then if i feel better later i can come online afterwards and say anything i want and blame it on the dr*gs so really it's all a win 🤡#ok that's enough silliness love u ttyl 💙💙#personal
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Just need to vent a moment.
I finally had to bite the bullet and visit a dr for the first time in years because I'm having some concerning health issues, and I just want to know if I'm dying.
So when I got an appointment with a new doctor, it started off with the him calling me "fat" even though I'm only 140 lbs. But I had to grin and bare it because my insurance would only let me see the specialist that I wanted to go to for my issues with a referral from the doctor.
Luckily I did get the referral and was able to see the specialist. And I also had blood work done for both doctors. Everything looked fine except for one test which had really high levels. But then this morning, I get a fun email email telling me that I owe $500 for one of the visits and $50 for the other even though they're supposed to be fully covered by insurance. They also told me I have additional bills on top of that for the blood tests, which once again, are supposed to be fully covered by insurance.
So now I have to spend one of my days off trying to fight these charges, which idk if they'll be willing to drop. But if they still make me pay for it, then I'll be cancelling the upcoming tests that the doctor also wanted me to do and all my follow up appointments.
Thankfully since all my test results are posted online, I know exactly what's wrong with me now without needing to do anymore visits. And I can try some herbal remedies to at least assist with my issues instead of having to get a doctors prescription for medicine.
Funnily enough, the disease I have turns out to be a hereditary thing. And I’ve been mentioning these issues to doctors my whole life, but they always just shrugged and told me that it was “normal for women”. But it wasn’t until I had a period that lasted 51 days that they were like “hmmm maybe something is wrong…” 😤
It's just so frustrating that this is the state of healthcare in this country. I pay $800 a month for insurance and still it won't cover the medical fees for visits that they're telling me I need to do annually. And I have to become my own doctor on top of it all.
But I've stopped caring. I'm too exhausted to care anymore. I work 11 hours a day at my job, which is not only physically tiring, but mentally exhausting and stressful as well.
And if I'm going to be forced to spend so much on medical services, I'd rather use that money to live comfortably instead. Because I literally can't afford those medical bills. My rent already takes half of my monthly income, and groceries and other bills take up the rest.
So I'd rather live a short life and try to enjoy every minute that I have of it, then to save up for a future I may never get.
#anyway I'm exhausted#I cant catch a break#I just want to draw and make cute things for people#and live a nice simple life in a little house in the fields of another country with a few animal friends#painting and farming and doing whatever I want to get through each day#never worrying about bills or being scared of going to doctors or worrying about which person around me might try to unalive me next#just peace and quiet#thats the dream#sorry for not being the cutesy happy artist you all know online#behind the cute art- I'm crumbling#end rant
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quick disclaimer i was born in 2003 and this show came out in 2001 but did anyone else as a kid thought cosmo and juandissimo from the fairy odd parents should had fucked nasty..
#they were NOT my first toxic yaoi ship but. i admit as a babymushy brain i always thought they had something going on#also the 3ds came out in 2011 and god the amount of inappropriate fanfiction i read on that thang .....#doctor who ... dan and phil .... avatar... pjo ...#fanfiction dot net and deviantart and live journal and independent sites and wattpads and online forums rp....#do NOT miss it.#ransom note
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I don't really want to be Serious right now, but...
Work is really really busy because summer is our busy time. Which I see other people being like ah, May, it's spring! It's summer here already, so I should probably start taking three water bottles to work again because I was sweating today on the second floors of the properties. It'll be close to 90 tomorrow.
I had a dentist appointment today and they took X-rays and I was very brave about it but there were so many things in my mouth and I hate things being in my mouth. I woke up a bit too early from the gallbladder removal surgery and there was still something in my mouth and I remember immediately just pulling it out. And yes, I paid for it with severe throat pain for a few hours afterwards. I cannot stand weird and wrong and claustrophobic sensory feelings in my mouth.
There was a lot of traffic and people going slower than the speed limit and people not watching for other cars at all in roundabouts and just general traffic stress.
I am so backed up on pic editing and uploading tours and I only have two days and then I am on vacation, and emails keep coming in demanding boxes and pics for properties that are so far away and require so much driving and owners being so precious about all the pics they want, including pics of things just near the property.
And on top of all this my brother decided to get emo about my mother's memory issues today and he keeps texting me and texting me and I am like, look, I love my mother but also she's a big part of the reason I dealt with PTSD and anxiety for 20 years and I feel really weird when she texts me wanting to solve things for her and now you're also just ripping away at me and tearing me apart and demanding demanding demanding and just....
I want to rest. I want to hug the spousal person, the only person I know IRL who doesn't constantly demand me for things and who doesn't rely on me for everything and who actually listens to me and cares about me and sees me as a person, not just a problem solver and filler of endless emotional needs.
Saw a poll about "burnt out gifted kid" on here and the answers were so far removed from my experience. What if you were identified as gifted when you were seven, a few months after your father died, and then your family depended on you to think and feel for them and to solve all their problems forever afterwards?
#dgpersonal#I searched online and I found some resources for seniors in her county#I texted him the link#I don't think he even looked at or thought about it#just kept going on about things we've all observed in her for years like they're new#because I am the only person capable of doing anything ever#I only exist to listen to emotional dumping and to do everything for others#last time he got emo about this I contacted her doctor and shared our concerns#at this point I'm like dude you're single and you don't have a job and you live closer to her#you can do something with all that free time and less travel distance
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living alone is all fun and games til you have a medical emergency and there's no one there to help you to the hospital
#eliot posts#im fine now it's just last week's Incident fucked me up a lil#a couple online friends offered to call me an uber#and i maybe could have woken my neighbors up (though i would have felt awful abt that)#but while i was figuring out how to get to the hospital and if i'd be able to like#verbally communicate to whoever was driving where to take me#and explain to the doctors what was wrong with me#and fill out the entrance paperwork#and find my wallet/insurance card and my housekeys before i left#...i had gone unconscious before i could make the decision to find someone to take me#luckily i was mostly fine after i woke up#i knew it wasn't an ''i'm gonna die if i don't go to the hospital'' type medical emergency so i didn't call an ambulance#bc i was not abt to bankrupt myself unless i was Literally Dying#but yeah. eugh. 0/10 do not recommend.#at the VERY LEAST i'm gonna need to have good friends that live very close in the future#i don't want this kind of thing happening to me again#i am gonna be roommates with a very good friend in a few months after i move to the city#and then i'm probably gonna be roommates with a different very good friend in a couple years when i leave the state#both mostly out of financial necessity for us all#but also i thiiink i want to go back to living alone eventually?#unless living with friends goes so great that it changes my mind#it's just like. for the most part i've loved living alone#not just in a ''yay i'm no longer living with my abusers!'' way but like. in general.#i can do whatever the fuck i want in my apartment without having to talk to anyone#chores get done when i want. food gets cooked and eaten when i want. i can take a 2 hour bath no problem. i don't have to close doors.#i can walk around late at night without having to worry about waking anyone up.#when my social battery is drained i know that no one will try to talk to me. when im overstimulated i don't have to tell anyone to be quiet#it's like. the thing with me is every social interaction has a timer where i start thinking#''GOD i cannot fucking wait to go be alone in my nice empty apartment again''#that timer is much longer for some people and situations than others but it is always There even when i'm having a great time
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i need everyone to pray for me. like spirit bomb style. Ms.self isolation (me) is going to Two concerts and a coworkers birthday party over the course of 3 days
#it’s so funny bc i’m like so ok at work and dependable and shit and i talk over the phone at work to doctors and nurses all daaaaa tiiiiime#but like Outside work socially? holy fuuuuuck i’m a shaking chihuahua i can still hold a conversation but but but but but (short circuits)#i can talk FINE i’ve held entire conversations with strangers it’s OK but like#INTERNALLY … AAAAAA#LIKE OUTSIDE OK? online is a different story i’m talkin about irl strangers#i used to have a job where i busted into ppls houses for a living and i got rly argumentative w old ppl but that’s not this#i’m talkin like#like ppl around my own damn age#once they dig a liiiiiiitle deep past the surface like once * i * start getting asked genuine questions i start like . doin broken down car#noises da Jig is UP the Facade aaaa my normal act FUUUUCK#it’s so funny bc all my coworkers like me but it’s like bc they all know i’m like That as in weird funny and i’m so comfortable around all#of them :3 i love my coworkers 💕💕 they give me souvenirs all da time and i love being weird to them back#but like getting to know people oof. maybe it’s not so different from work…………#it’s always like. worse in my head than what the situation ends up being as it’s so stupid#and it takes like an entire village worth of effort to even Muster the courage to do things jesus CHRIST#i been getting better at it tho!!!! i’m workin on it but it’s just so so so so scary Probably because of da Trauma but aaaaaaahahaaaaaaa#whateeeverrrr it’s all in da paaaast aaaaaaa
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HELP FUCK I NEED HELP GODDAMNIT I JUST WANTED TO MAKE MY STUPID FANART JOKES
I DON’T REMEMBER WHAT TIKTOK THIS WAS, BUT MY UNATTENDED HAMSTER IN A HAMSTER BALL IN THE LIVING ROOM OF A BRAIN JUST LET IT TUMBLE ACROSS MY MINDSCAPE AND MAN, “HAHA I CAN SEE THE RISE TURTLES DOING THIS, WOULDN’T IT BE FUNNY TO DRAW IT”
EXCEPT I CAN’T FIND IT, IT HURTS MY CIRCA 1997 INTERNET GREMLIN BRAIN THAT I CANNOT FIND THIS STUPID HILARIOUS VIDEO OF FOUR DUDES
IT’S ALL DANCE COMPILATIONS AND THIRST TRAP CRINGE, FUCK ALL I REMEMBER IS SOMEONE GOING, “WOW LOOK AT ALL THESE FUNNY WALKING CYCLES.”, “WEIRD WAY TO TALK ABOUT SOMEONE’S GAIT.”, “OH I HEARD FROM SOMEONE THEY HAD TO BE DANCERS FROM THE WAY THEY HOLD THEIR UPPER BODIES AS THEY WALK. ALSO THEIR SHOES.” AS YOU CAN SEE THAT DOES NOT HELP THE SEARCH RESULTS
I JUST WANT TO MAKE THE STUPID JOKE AND MOVE ON TO THE NEXT ONE, FAAAAACK HELP ME TUMBLR USERS AGES 25 AND UNDER
listen i know 25+ also have an equal probability of knowing which one it was but... c’mon, we both known we’re all too tired to expend our energy like this twice in a day, save it for something else.
#i used to hoard shit i found online#emphasis on used to#and i knew#i fkkn KNEW#oh nah I looked at their user name#i'll remember it its fine#it's not fine#this joke is going to feel like a splinter stabbed a little too deeply in my skin#not worth going to the ER for#but until I can visit a doctor#in my skin taking up space#is where it will remain#i can't live like this anymore#the internet of today was supposed to cure this#h elp#rottmnt#rise of the tmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise leo#rise donnie#rise raph#rise mikey
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;~; (tags vent)
#i feel so lonely and i dont know how to fix it#im trying to engage with people. im trying ot take space. im trying but nothing is helping#and like im hormonal so i wanna cry about it today#and like this loneliness isnt for one reason only#there's no One Thing#but so so many things making me feel like i cant connect#and even wiht making progress and even with coping and even with reminidng myself its okay to just feel bad sometimes like#i want company. i dont want online company i want irl company. i want friends. and im so miserable about the fact that i struggle to#make irl friends - not bc im not a good friend!! honestly tehre's been plenty of opportunities for me to make friends is the worst part#between work; disabilities; energy; and like interests/things to talk about its really hard to make friends (and tbh the first three-#really are the biggest drains). and i love my online friends i do i jsut. miss them all so much when i talk too much and then it hurts more#and i lost a friend group recently so im feelng really out of place#nearly everyday for the last idk. 5 months i had a group of people going “hey. love you” (even if they didnt say it verbatim daily) and lik#im so sad! and the feelings are coming out today ig cause i havenothing to do at work so im just. here#but yeah - ik part of this grief im experiencing is YET AGAIN experiencing change and loss re:friendships bc of things largely out of my#control /: and every time this happens it just brings up every single wound#im talking with my therapist about it too i just. wish friends were more permanent in my life yk?#or at least that i had friends irl still /: but all my deepest connections are all So far away#and it hurts so much to miss ppl rn im just. isolating myself#but i dont awnt to TALK. i dont want to TEXT. i dont want to hang out on a vc. i awnt to be held and loved and just talked to about anythin#other than the stresses in peoples lives. i want people to infodump to me w/o me having to Beg or Engage Correctly#i want people to tell me about themselves. jsut fucking lore dump in my inbox. its not dumping. i dont care about trauma dumping. if you do#cw i guess i jsut. im so tired. im tired of the “haiiiiii love you!!!!!” i have to do over the keyboard to have social connections#im tired of being so disabled i cant make friends bc no one wants to be friends w/ me irl and all the reasons (“ur a flake” “u cancel plans#“u never want to go out” “u never have energy” “why do you disappear when you need to recharge it makes me feel bad?” etc etc etc) all#relate to me being disabled and like.i feel like the problem. my existence is a problem. and the worst part is all iwant to do is just.#go run errands with someone. do important tasks &get a little treat to celebrate after. go to the doctor. the hospital. wherever im allowed#i want ot be a PERSON#): i jsut miss my friends#and liek im going to a thing later this month to try and make friends irl even if its just exercise friends
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The universe loves me
#i can get the a i need for my online class after all!!!!!!#eeeeeeeeeeeeee#i just have to do 2 things and I'm gonna get the a#then I'll get my full amount of funds instead of half#I'm so excited#i mean first i have to do things for my in person class for that a but that one is super easy#this is such a gift and i don't know what deity did this#i don't worship any luck deities or ones associated with money or fortune or knowledge so idk#like all of mine are chaos and revelry and trickery other than one#but that one is like motherhood and stuff and i worship her to get the comfort of a divine mother#anyway whatever deity decided to blast my ass with fortune i love you#also i got what i needed to up my financial aid for the upcoming school year so double fortune#I'm vibrating with excitement#i may not be getting anywhere in my job search but my bank account won't be negative and I'll have the grades i wanted#life is beautiful today#i also got my doctor to switch me to gel for my t so i won't have a bad reaction hopefully and i see the gastroenterologist tomorrow#i'll get the swallowing problem dealt with soon even if i have to get a camera shoved down my throat again#and my college is doing a free tuition thing that while i don't think i qualify for will still be really good for other people who need it#and my dad leaves town for 2 weeks in the morning#I've just had a ton of good things happen in a row#also i got to see the living tombstone on Saturday and i swear that fixed the funk i was in from what i had to do last week#and i learned sweet tea doesn't taste like pure sugar so it's actually decent#damn I'm feeling good#anyway happy rant over#go be gremlins#and as always#drink water you heathens
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the amount of times lately ive googled schizophrenia symptoms....
#elise lives a life of excitement and intrigue#nothing online is conclusive and it seems like one of those Youd Know situations#but i do keep having 'either people with schizophrenia need to stop being so relatable or i need to talk to a doctor' moments lol
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Really feeling the height dysphoria tonight y'all... :))))))
#seriously there is only one grown adult man in the world alive who i know is shorter than me#most children are taller than me an adult dude of 24 fuckin years old#i can only buy children's shoes and often online because they dont really sell those in stores#i am swimming if i get an adult medium shirt and pants are always far too long for me because 30in is way too much#working anywhere is so hard because all equipment abd surfaces are far too high up for me#and then the job refuses to buy a stool or ladder tall enough to accommodate me#my father renovated the kitchen around 2 years ago and raised everything in height#the counters are now up to my neck and the cabinets are entirely unreachable but for all other folks theyre fine#even with a stool i cant reach beyond the front of the second shelf for anything#i cant even sit down in chairs unless they are table chairs and not restaurant or bar stool height#if they are i just straight up fall over trying to sit in them or the chair falls down or both#if im going to a seated event i have to research the venue first to be sure they have tiered seating and its tiered enough#otherwise i wont see anything because the person in front of me regardless of age is always far taller#the entire world already is run by folks who are against trans people like me and who dont accommodate me#doctors dont accommodate my chrochic conditions and pain at all and never have so i just suffer#and the entirety of every place house and establishment is specifically built for people above my height by tons#so i basically live in a world that wasnt made for someone like me and i just already feel like i dont belong here#and this lack of accommodation just makes it worse
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im gonna!!!!!!!!! holy shit im losing my mind!!!! my funding for top surgery has been approved!!! it's just over 24 hours after the request was even submitted!!!!!!!!!! canadian bureaucracy doesn't EVER move this fast!!!!!!! what the hell!!!!!!! im doing the BIGGEST jig rn
#so after fighting with my useless np for months#and getting news that my health center is shutting down because no doctor wants to live or work here ig#i just said fuck it and paid $200 for this place that does online appts and will handle everything for you#and by GOD is that the best money ive ever spent#i only found out about this place friday!! six days later my application isnt just SUBMITTED but APPROVED????????#im!!!!!!!! exploding!!!!!!!
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