#and idk what im doing like eveer!!!!!!!! idk what country im going to live in idk what im supposed to be doing idk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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#super cool how i can either continue living in the realtive safety and comfort and freedom i currently enjoy#but without any sort of support system save for my mom who i do not trust or like and who i was scared of for a solid chunk of my life#orrrrr choose to upend my entire life and start from scratch around my family trading isolation from family for isolation from peers#a choice i wouldnt have even been presented with#if my mother hadnt considered moving her and her young child across the world for some guy she met online a completely fine thing to do#and i absolutely feel like a dick for complaining abt a situation that objectively did give me a shitton of opportunities i wouldnt have ha#but also mayhaps... being isolated from any support system i could have had with my dads side of the family is a little fucked up#like my cousins aged 32 and 23 still live at home with their parents and at least superficially seem really happy with their situations#mw im over here entirely unmoored hanging on by my fraying ambitions bc if i dont study and also make it professionally#ill have to move back in with my mother#and idk what im doing like eveer!!!!!!!! idk what country im going to live in idk what im supposed to be doing idk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#all this becoming a doctor thing is a desperate move to not move back in with my mother#and i could go back and study in brazil but that might very much be shooting myself in the foot#bc europe has a cheeky tendency not to acknowledge degrees so if i wanted to come back itd be a nightmare#anyways were cool 👍im cool
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