#a choice i wouldnt have even been presented with
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mothpdf · 11 months ago
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#super cool how i can either continue living in the realtive safety and comfort and freedom i currently enjoy#but without any sort of support system save for my mom who i do not trust or like and who i was scared of for a solid chunk of my life#orrrrr choose to upend my entire life and start from scratch around my family trading isolation from family for isolation from peers#a choice i wouldnt have even been presented with#if my mother hadnt considered moving her and her young child across the world for some guy she met online a completely fine thing to do#and i absolutely feel like a dick for complaining abt a situation that objectively did give me a shitton of opportunities i wouldnt have ha#but also mayhaps... being isolated from any support system i could have had with my dads side of the family is a little fucked up#like my cousins aged 32 and 23 still live at home with their parents and at least superficially seem really happy with their situations#mw im over here entirely unmoored hanging on by my fraying ambitions bc if i dont study and also make it professionally#ill have to move back in with my mother#and idk what im doing like eveer!!!!!!!! idk what country im going to live in idk what im supposed to be doing idk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#all this becoming a doctor thing is a desperate move to not move back in with my mother#and i could go back and study in brazil but that might very much be shooting myself in the foot#bc europe has a cheeky tendency not to acknowledge degrees so if i wanted to come back itd be a nightmare#anyways were cool 👍im cool
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youaremysunshine-court · 2 years ago
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Highkey gonna cry I looked up this uni I have to go to on Insta and literally it looks like the worst fit for me
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rnaeborowski · 2 years ago
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i want it to be wednesday already.. i wanna relax in the hot springs right now...
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hannieehaee · 26 days ago
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Hiii, I was listening to a music called "I want you" by Stephen Sanchez and is so good. It made me think about what would be svt reaction if a close friend sings this song to their girlfriend.
one of your friends singing you a romantic song
content: established relationship, some jealousy, some insecurity, 100% just fluff, mentions of unrequited crush from some friend towards reader, etc.
wc: 736
a/n: here's the lyrics in case anyone is curious!!
masterlist
seungcheol -
you'd literally have to physically stop him from killing them. jk but he'd take it personally. it's such a romantic song with such a clear message, of course he'd be mad at one of your friends singing it to you when you famously have a boyfriend.
jeonghan -
he'd just scoff and move on. you're already taken by the love of your life. some transparent serenade from some loser wouldn't really deter him. he might even feel bad for your friend at knowing nothing will ever come from it.
joshua -
pfft. he's constantly serenading you! this guy has nothing on him. he's an amateur at best. joshua knows all your favorite songs on guitar and he's always playing them around the house for you to hear. wouldn't feel jealous or intimidated, but you'd still at some point catch him playing that song, acting as if nothing happened.
jun -
kind of shocked? he'd find it very daring for some random person to serenade you while knowing you were in a happy and committed relationship. like how dare they? you already have a guy who's more than willing to serenade you every night. you have no need for some idiot singing lovesick songs to you, right? right?
soonyoung -
whines, pouts, cries, screams. okay maybe not all that, but he'd still be very shocked by it. its so disrespectful for some idiot to try and win your affections while you're already in a relationship!!! forms a personal vendetta against him in his mind. literally prays for his downfall.
wonwoo -
he'd be pretty chill about it, but might kind of mock or insult your friend under his breath. like, he gets it. if anyone's gonna be receiving serenades and love confessions, of course it's gonna be you. but as your boyfriend, he still doesnt like random people thinking they have a chance with you. a rare demonstration of jealousy from wonwoo.
jihoon -
he'd take it as a challenge. wouldn't say anything, but he'd immediately go back to the studio after hearing about it, opening up the hard drive he's been filling up with love songs about you since meeting you. he'd literally push aside any other stuff he was working on to finish one of the many songs he's written about you just to show you how much better you had it with him.
seokmin -
he sings for you all the time!!! this guy can't even hold a handle to him. but even though he knows he's way better than some idiot trying to win your attention with one measly serenade, he'd still whine and pout at you about it. would ask you whether you liked him better and make you request songs for him to sing to you.
mingyu -
he'd pretend to be unbothered, far too secure in your relationship to really think anything of a friend of yours singing some romantic song to you. but then he'd start thinking. had he ever serenaded you? maybe he should. maybe he should get the guys together and maybe even compose a song just for you and and and-
minghao -
kind of amused by it. he's very secure in your relationship, so it wouldnt bother him. he might even take it as a compliment to himself. he knows you're a catch and kind of enjoys knowing there's people out there wanting to win you over.
seungkwan -
he'll be petty and serenade you with some love song too. he'd somehow make sure that your friend was very well aware and maybe even present when he did it. it'd be his not subtle and petty way of showing that you're taken (and by someone who can sing way better btw).
vernon -
finds it neat. doesn't think too much of it. guy can't help who he crushes on, and you're a pretty obvious choice to crush on. still, he'd feel a little weird about you hanging out with some guy who clearly likes you. wouldn't say anything, but might act a little clingier than usual after that.
chan -
he'll overcompensate like crazy. he'd sing you your favorite love song, show up with a bouquet of flowers, wine and dine you. he'd be kind of aghast by the whole situation. did you like this guy back? what the hell was wrong with him? why would he sing such an obvious love song to you? might even voice out these questions to you, whining all throughout.
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cherllyio · 6 months ago
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Do you think monkey king/Sun Wukong will die in season 5. Because we don’t see him the last Lego set made for monkie kid so he probably sacrificed himself to become the earth stone since he was that yellow stone all along since it does make sense and does prove that it’s were the show likes to end off his journey and to save the world. Even though wukong will be dead I’m far more worried about MK since we do see him crying in the trailer. That might mean wukong sacrificed himself or he’s suffering or could come back since nüwa could replace herself from the earth stone I could see that happening.
I’m chattering my teeth once I think about it cause I don’t want him to die in the show😭
Wukong will not die
Yes, I said it, and i will die on this hill (though i do think its a cool theory).
And yes, i know there is that whole "mentor die trope", but this wouldnt make sense, for Wukong (atleast for his characther arc, so far).
First proof: He needs to finish the arc with Macaque.
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Theese two monkeys have one of the most complicated relationships, I have seen in a while, and they are just starting to realise what went wrong in the past. (when they went back through their memories)
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Therefore, ending it now? It would be increbly rushed and would leave it uncompleted. (And also omg, they need to both apologise to eachother)
Second proof: He needs to finish the arc with MK
MK said in the season 4 special: "I am not ready, to not have a mentor".
So we got that-
BUT ALSO
Sun Wukong clearly knows more, than he lets on about MK's past:
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And being like- one of the only people acutally having some idea, where MK is even from (and that he has some form of "biological" relation to him), it would be weird for them to end it so suddenly now.
They still have so much to clear out about how they are even connected.
Final Proof: He needs to finish his own arc
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Sun Wukong is still growing.
Yes: He is thousands of years old, and has been on the JTTW, but he is still evolving as a person.
He messed up badly with the Samdadhi Fire, and he is truly trying to be better now. But he still has a lot to learn. Which I can only explain through one line:
"We cant change the past, but we can make better choices today."
That was something he taught MK in season 4, but he clearly needs to relearn it too.
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After all MK did tell him the very same thing in the season 4 special, and Wukong clearly listend to it.
But we didnt see much of Wukong arc after that, we had Azure's ass to beat after all.
So, i theorise, that we will see more of that in season 5.
Aka Wukong (re)learning, that you can fuck up, again and again, but as long as you try to become better now in the present, you still deserve to live. You still deserve love.
...
Also, I just don't Wukong to die ;-;
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So i wrote a little thing for the RLGL au
Its a prologue of sorts, the first actual meeting between the guys and y/n at work before they become neighbours
Be warned though i am not a writer and typed this out quickly on my phone while i was supposed to work so it is probably not that good (i think i just randomly switch between present tense and past tense so it just be like that)
Warning for suggestive themes. But nothing explicit is mentioned
There you stood, one hand grabbing the handle of the sleek chrome and wooden door. This was not part of your job description. And this was really not something you wanted to do. You were a janotor. Fixing minor electrical things, looking after the plumming, washing all sheets that the cleaners brought into the washing room and fixing and cleaning up the rough stuff. Every day was busy and you had always kept to yourself and the many staff only hallways, away from the rich red and black velvet and the polished wooden floors, raw concret where the eyes of the customers wouldnt see.
You felt safe in your domain, the low humming of the heating filling the basement rooms like the breathing of a sleeping dragon. Or atleast that was what you liked to imagine it as. It made your work seem atleast a little more exciting and kept your mind of the various fluids you had to painstakingly rinse out of the white and burgundy sheets.
You straighten your sleeves, a black turtleneck black slacks and a black baseball cap with fazCOs logo, not really the usual uniform for the people interacting with customers, worlds away from the white button up and vest you should be wearing. But this was an emergency. Well as far as the rich bozo in this room was concearned atleast. So who knows on what level the "mess" was, this could be anything from some spilling to..... well no need to think about worst case szenarios.
Straightening your cap one last time you enter the dimmly lit room. You immidiatly regret every single choice that led you to this specific sight. The hairs on your arms rising in protest as you try to nonchalantly step further into the mess, the customer having left apparently, not even waiting for the emergency roomservice to arrive after calling for it. Red wine and some gunk that looked like it had been food once that had been chewed and spit out again smeared all over the couch and carpet. You call out to make sure the coast is clear, trying very hard to not gag.
As soon as you are sure there is no human in the room you rush to a lifeless form of satin metal and plastic on the ground, swallowing hard as salvia and gall rise up in your throat. You find the second one bundeled up on the bed, lanky arms and legs positioned in a way that sent a shiver down your spine, one of his arms was popped out of the shoulder, only hanging by the many thin cables running under the outer casing.
Shaking hands finding the small power button at the base of the blue ones head you wait, counting five and then ten seconds. This isnt something you should be doing. This is against company policies, and yet you cant just leave them like this for a technician to find after you cleaned up. The soft hum of the reboot sent your hand back as if burned and you kneel down to repeat the action on the yellow one. You knew they had names, pretty obvious ones at that.. sun and moon. You had only seen them from afar until now. Especally because you were not a waiter or maid, someone who would walk past them regularly in the flashy suits and club rooms, no you were someone working in the shadows. A shame that the one time you saw them this closely it felt like you should avert your gaze, because even under the questionable liquids and gunk they still looked stunning. The yellow one started humming under your touch and you hurridly got up, starting the cleaning process and ignoring the two stiring bodies like you were supposed to.
Moon sat up straight, unfurling from his nothing but explicit position, his left arm dragging on the bed. No mind was given to the worker bustleing around the furthest corner as moon leaped forwards and down to the ground, shaking arm immidiatly finding his bright counterpart who was in the process of opening his eyes. Sun looked up and welcomed the soft embrace of moon, foreheads pressed together best they could with their orbish heads, giving themselves just one moment of comfort before dealing with the situation at hand.
You had started to clean the bathroom first, wanting to give the two robots enough time to regain their baring and hide their bodies away if they so wished. A bitter taste on your lips you reenter the main suite with two steaming hot towels and a big box of wet wipes, wordlessly pressing them in the hands of the two, now sitting on the bed encased in a thin sheet. With any interaction between general staff and escorts being prohibited you were pretty much towing the line of doing something that could get you fired, but you felt like this needed to be done.
Moving on you cleaned the carpet, trying to ignore the two bots meticulously wiping down eachother. You sigh. This all felt so wrong. You grab the cleaning rag tight as you rub at the carpet and wish you could do more for the two than gracefully ignoring them and their disheviled apearances, assuming theyd even want any help from a random janitor.
They are still cleaning and fixing up eachother when you put away the last stained pillowcase and wipe down the low table one last time. You swallow dryly. All you can think of doing for them is grabing two small post it notes from your cart and make small origami flowers, one of like three things you know how to fold. Leaving them behind on the stack of clean clothing you plop down on one edge of the bed. It is hard not to sneak one last look at the two, hovering around eachother, deeply concentrated on reapplying eachothers makeup with gentle brushstrokes.
The most beautiful constelation. But you feel like this is not something you are supposed to whitness.
You leave the room, softly dragging the door shut behind you and the cleaning cart with a click, disappearing back into the concrete lined corridors of the staff only areas, back to whatever you were doing before, the two robots in their gentle embrace at the border of your mind.
Cream fingers close around the neon colored paper flowers, to be carefully deposited in an inner jacket pocket and transported home. To be kept safe in a small cardboard box under their bed. To be forgotten but never lost.
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tonati143 · 22 days ago
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Anders rant
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Lowkey, I need to talk about this and Im sure other Anders fans have probably talked this to the ground.
But I feel like Anders suffered so badly at the hands of the creators and its both heartbreaking and the largest reason I love him so much. We see him, easily one of the most hated characters in the fandom, and he is not handled with nuance by either fans or anti’s because the writers never even gave room for that nuance.
You either are hate him or you love him, because there was never an option presented that allowed for a grey area.
Lets talk about easily one of the most popular options (and mirror to Anders), Solas. He easily does so much worse for even less of a reason. What he tries to do in Veilguard, what he did in Inquisition. If I remember correctly, bro gives the anchor to Corypheus bc he couldn’t understand it and thought bro would fix it for him.
If this would have been Anders, there would be outrage.
But because Solas has the benefit of writers that love him in both games, he gets the benefit of getting a grey area. There is not nearly as much hate, no one sits down to talk about how secretly he is the cause of every problem here.
I cant help but wonder what Anders did to lose out on such nuance. Cullen, one of my favorites, receives that nuance, when we are well aware what can happen with his story line if we dont play our cards right in Origins and DA2.
To have a writer that basically wants you dead is so crippling.
There is no nuance, there is no forgiveness. Even the route where your Hawke doesnt stabby stab him is made to look like you made the wrong choice. I was lucky, my Hawke in inquisition does not paint Romanced!Anders as a monster, my Hawke is much more forgiving and speaks of him as someone who needs to be taken care of. But Ive seen other people talk about how their Hawke speaks of Anders.
We lose out on Awakening!Anders in a way that almost doesnt seem natural. It is like we were given a completely different character. One is capable of facing trauma, and I would even say having to give your body to a spirit holds some form of trauma as well, while maintaining core parts of their personality. It wouldnt have hurt to show us bits of that previous Anders once in a while.
Its hard to look at really, because there are things that he says in DA2 that gives us insight to what is going on in the chantry, things that gives us insight to why he is going through such lengths. But because everything is structured around the idea that you are supposed to hate him, no one ever really acknowledges him in game or in the fandom.
I saw on a comment a few days ago that states that Anders tried so hard to be heard, to have his stance listened to but throughout the game almost everyone shrugs him off. No one takes him seriously. And yes, he can be obnoxious about it sometimes, but if I put myself in his shoes, I would also be talking and talking about it until someone acknowledges me. In smaller cases where I would have things to say in places like highschool and everyone would ignore me, I would find myself repeating it again until someone would tell me “yeah, we heard you already”. Its in a way where I understand what it feels like, to have something so important to say and to be pushed to the side, I understand what Anders feels in party banter in a way that cant be said outloud without being questioned if I agree with his decision towards the Chantry.
He could have been perfect, a way to start a conversation where we ask ourselves, at what point are extreme measures acceptable? At what point can we consider what a person did to be necessary or unnecessary? Would anyone have listened to the cause if that measure hadnt been taken?
Unfortunately, its answered for us, it ends the conversation before we can even have it. It tells us what is supposed to be the answer. It tells us it is wrong, it tells us that this is a black and white conversation. What could have been a legitimate substantial conversation cut short because of their efforts to make the fandom hate Anders as much as they do.
And I mourn that ever since 😔
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gamblersdoll · 9 months ago
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PUT MY NAME ON IT, NOW IT DESIGNER 6
angst, hurt to slight fluff, violence and graphic imagery.
“i didnt do shit.” hakari seethed, his hands scrambling for a good reason he was on the spot. he couldnt understand how it had happened, how possibly he had the money but had no transfers from your account to his or vice versa.
“well, how is it in your account!?” you seethed back. sinji had been long gone, which did make you question him, but you were more focused on hakari.
“i told you, i dont know girl!” he shouted, pacing back and forth and in circles.
you were growing tired. so torn in between believing him or giving him the benefit of doubt. a part of you chanted the fact that he had taken money or manipulated you into giving him some money when you were vulnerable, making it hard for his truth. and another part whispered about the past few months he had spent with you, the dates he took you on, the happiness you hadnt felt with sinji, everything. how could you believe him when your money was infact in his bank account ? how could you not believe him and it was a mistake on the transfers end?
you had been in your head for too long, and that worried hakari too much.
“hello?!” he shouted, snapping his fingers in your face. yes you hated when he did that outside of sex, but you needed that snap back to reality. “i didnt touch your money, babydoll. im way past that, dont you realize that?” he asked, tilting his head and looking at you to hope that you came to your senses.
you looked away from him, holding your arms and sighing deeply. you couldnt decide whether or not to believe him. you should believe him! but what if he actually did take the money? what if he didnt? if he didnt, then who did? would you have to start over? what about hakari?
“for now, just leave kinji.” you said, keeping your voice low and gaze away from him. you were definitely shaking, shaking with anxiety and fear, and deep regret. you dont know what exactly you regretted, but that emotion was just present.
hakari sucked his teeth, grabbing his jacket and then you in a fit. he grabbed you ahold by your arm, pulling to his stature and looked down at you. you felt scared for only a glimpse, knowing he isnt the type to beat on women, yet you got startled.
“when i prove this shit false, its gon be me and you.” he said, with somewhat malice and he gritted his eyebrows together. you and him? you wouldnt understand what his version of that was.
and he left without a second glance, slamming the door behind him. he was pissed, most definitely. pissed wasnt the word to use, seething, he was practically melting with rage and revenge. because he wasnt that kind of boy no more that would do that shit. he was grown, grown and well financially capable of taking care of himself, you, and certainly much more. so the fact he was even accused of theft from you drove him absolutely mad.
and the weeks of not talking to kinji were pure fucking hell. you wanted to reach out, you had to. you could actually say that you missed him, contrary to what you would verbalize. you couldnt land a finger on what had happened. and the truth could be right in front of you. hell, you know its some shit when even maki or panda were shocked– especially panda, since hakari was supposedly to exploit him.
and the house was no better. you were alone, but by choice. sinji of course would reach out to you and talk as if nothing had happened, as if he didnt just cause discord between you, him, and kin. you didnt want sinji, you wanted hakari, more than anything. you made the bed, you need to lie in it.
New notification!
you sprung out of your chair, hoping and praying to the gods it was hakari, your hakari, hoping he had texted you about seeing him, anything to show he was innocent like you wanted him to be.
“Sinji: what you wearin? 👀”
you groaned, throwing your head back and choosing to not reply. maybe you wouldnt talk to hakari ever. maybe that was the end of your chapter.
or so you thought.
it was maybe around one in the morning, you slowly drifting to sleep and having just binged watched some show that was trendy.. what was it? love is blind? you got ran the fuck over with that statement. but you felt your phone go off, groaning in annoyance and opening your phone. your heart shot up.
New notification!
“hakari: link @ that coffee shop you like first thing, dont keep me waiting.”
and you didnt keep him waiting, tapping your thumbs together and tapping your foot. he was sitting across from you, not even looking but you can tell he had maybe finally calmed down, he was unreadable at this time.
“hakari i-“ you started, but he interrupted you by putting his hand up, pausing you before you even started. you almost swatted his hand away, just from natural reaction, but you caught it before he caught you. he whipped his phone out, opening his transaction history and having you read it. “read that shit back to me.”
you read it slow, analyzing and gazing at everything. and you had never felt more confused or just slow.
“… what does any of this mean, kin?” you asked, failing to see the bigger picture or maybe you were just slow with a capital “s”.
“hard transaction deposit.” he repeated back, folding his arms together and looking at you. “that means that a third party went into your account, took your money, transferred it to my account, and was using a burner.” he said, he always did his best to not mansplain things but it was needed.
“okay, so.. was it any of your boys?” you asked, “because didnt you transfer money to me when we started talking again?”
“did i send it, or did i take money?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. “i have the option to send and transfer money to you, not take it out. and using last time isnt a good excuse ‘cause you sent it to me. neva had the option to take yo money straight from the accounts.”
“okay, thats true, ill give you that..” you said, chewing on your thumb nail, and causing hakari to move your hand away from your mouth. and receiving a ‘stop biting your nail, mama,’ “then who did?”
“the burner traces back to sinji, obviously.” he said, rolling his eyes and sucking his teeth. “the dumbass forgot about IP addresses and shit. i didn’t expect you to know cause numbers dont go good with you.” he jabbed, but thats just how he was. he wasn’t being a dick, though. he just knew the truth.
“im sorry-“
“oh, you will be.” he paused you again, giving a small smile. that scared the shit out of you, the whole saying of ‘fuck around find out’ shit from him.
“hakari chill out!” you said, but one of his clients holding their hand out in front of you to stop you in your tracks, shaking his head at you.
your current position? watching your.. ex? sneaky link? side man? hakari pounding his fist into sinji’s jaw and focusing only on that. sinji wasnt looking too hot.. shit , when did he ever? he was all bruised and purple, also soaked in blood from his broken nose and limp jaw that was clearly dislocated. this had gone on for at least ten minutes. and everyone knew that it was done now, you question how he was able to take a beating like that from hakari.
but for hakari, for one good last blow, stomped his shoulder blade in, hearing a crunch and sinji writhing in pain.
“ill but you a new carpet tomorrow, yall–“ he pointed at the clientele he had hired for his fight club, and shooing them out. “yall leave but be round at arms reach.” he said. “you.” he pointed at you, beckoning his finger at you, “cmere.” and you had no choice to.
“hak-“
“unt unt, no talking, you gon listen to this shit.” he said, putting a hand on your back and one around your throat softly. “you my girl now, no more sinji, in fact he gon watch me while i fuck you.” he said, gritting his eyebrows together and nibbling at your throat. “you and me.” he growled softly. “i fucken love you.”
you cant get a chance to respond, but you were already on your back while he was gripping at your clothes. it made you aroused, not lying to yourself. you needed this, because sinji hadnt dicked you down, and can never now.
“and bitchboy over here is going to hear, and watch me fuck my girl, whether he likes it or not.”
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scary-grace · 6 months ago
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hey, if it isn't too much to ask, in the next few days im gonna go through some tough changes, could you share some fluffy hc/little facts about the characters in kairos? (love how my comfort fic is also the one that fucks ne up the most but oh well wouldnt have it any other way lmaokdnak)
I can give you some fluffy headcanons! Here are just a few:
Kili has a very hobbit-like view of birthdays, even before he meets Bilbo. He likes to give people presents rather than receive them, because the best present for him is everyone being happy at his party.
Bard's radio was a gift from his mom. He's been using the same one for twenty years, and he's able to repair it whenever it breaks, however it breaks.
Tauriel makes friends easily following the move to New Hampshire, but when it comes down to it, she would rather be with her family than anywhere else. She has grand plans of hosting a sleepover at the estate.
Thorin owned exactly one record before he met Bilbo, and it was Simon and Garfunkel's greatest hits, which was released in 1972. His favorite songs are The Sound of Silence and Mrs. Robinson, and his family has developed almost Pavlovian rage responses to hearing either one.
When it comes to clothing and decor, Thranduil secretly enjoys bright or rich colors. He inherited most of his furniture, but if he had a choice, he would go with whatever caught his eye. His preference for color also appears in his artwork. Left to his own devices, he'd probably get really into Impressionist-style works.
Thank you for the ask! I can do a few more characters as well if anyone would like. I hope your tough times go as easily as possible and you feel a little better soon. <3
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doloresdisparue · 11 days ago
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In some of your recent posts, you mentioned a Lolita musical? I didn't know there was a musical! Is there a place to listen to it/watch it??
- Someone who finds the book interesting, and deeply loves music
HELLO YOU HAVE COME TO THE RIGHT PLACE. If the Lolita musical has a million fans, then I am one of them. If the Lolita musical has ten fans, then I am one of them. If the Lolita musical has only one fan then that is me. If the Lolita musical has no fans, then that means I am no longer on earth. If the world is against the Lolita musical, then I am against the world etc etc. Here's my tag in case my elaboration makes you curious
It's called "Lolita, My Love" written by Alan Jay Lerner with music by John Barry. It premiered in 1971 and promptly flopped so hard that they canned it during tryouts before it even had a Broadway premiere though it has been critically praised since.
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(Not since Carrie: forty years of Broadway musical flops by Ken Mandelbaum)
Lerner rewrote the script six times with significant changes in the different versions and you can look at most of them only through the LIbrary of Congress where his papers are preserved. In essence there are three versions. Philadelphia (very little information available), Boston (this version has a soundboard recording of the audio for the entire show on youtube from a preview show) and post-closing (this is where he cracked the code). The post-closing version was obviously never staged by Lerner BUT it was the main basis for the 2019 revival showing put on by the York Theatre and directed by Emily Maltby (one of the few women to direct an adaptation and while I don't think that is at all necessary for a good one she did a phenomenal job). It was a special event that only ran for a week and had no costume, no stage design and everyone with scripts in hand but it's the closest to a real production that has ever been done. Unlike the original 71 production it also did not cast any children and did not require them (or anyone) to be semi-nude. Dolores was played by an actress in her early 20s (Caitlin Cohn) who proved you could put on the show without endangering kids perfectly well.
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The significant change between the Boston script and the Revival version (which takes small things from all scripts but is largely based on his final draft) is the (re-)addition of Dr. Ray as a framing device. To adapt the novel format to the stage Humbert is continuously telling his story to Dr. Ray who is interviewing him for his case. She (they cast a female black actress for the role in the revival) questions, interjects and overall holds the audiences hand a little when it comes to working out just how unreliable Humbert is. I like the Boston version where he talks directly to the audience but I fear we as a society have proven that we need a Lolita adaptation that holds peoples hands at least a little. Another delightful aspect is that, just like in the book, Humbert is actively using his medium against the reader/audience. Dr. Ray is always on stage as Humbert essentially directs the rest of the show to present his version of the story to her. At certain points light and music cues tell the audience that he is clearly making things up, Dolly starts moving like a marionette and talking as if she is hypnotised. Meanwhile he switches seamlessly between the interview and participating in the action, directing the ensemble, setting the scene so to speak
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but sometimes the action freezes or the lights abruptly come on when she interrupts him, immediately jarring the audience to attention in case they got a little too carried away in his catchy songs.
It's also a production that has a profound love for Dolly and, to my knowledge, the only adaptation that made the conscious choice to let her survive. Erik Haagensen, who put together the script, talked about how her death was never in any of Lerner's drafts and he wouldnt have included it if it was because it was so important to him to spotlight that she was a survivor and she still had a life after her abuse and honor the pehmomenal strength it would have taken her to get to that place at all because she is NOT broken and her life ISN'T over and that was important to him. I do understand and respect Nabokov's choice to go full tragedy but it's another reason the musical is close to my heart. I also cannot talk about this show without noting its distinction of featuring perhaps the worst line in musical history ever sung by a human being (saying this affectionately since it does its job of making you scream):
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I could talk forever about other choices and the individual songs but this has gotten long enough I think. But feel free to hit me up (and this goes for anyone else too) if you want to talk more about it!
TL;DR: There is currently no way to watch "Lolita, My Love" as there is only an audio recording of a preview for the 1971 show, not a video and the archive recording of the revival (which exists!) is not publicly available (presumably for legal reasons). At least 2 songs are on Spotify re-recorded by commercial artists (Going, going, gone and In The Broken Promise Land of 15) as well as a purely instrumental version of the title theme (Lolita by John Barry) which i adore. The scripts are in the Library of Congress and potentially buried in other places but I have not found them anywhere online, though you can look at all the lyrics and small summaries of the action of each song in "The complete lyrics of Alan Jay Lerner" by Dominic McHugh and Amy Asch, which is widely available.
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soulreapin · 10 months ago
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um Here’s a take
i understand why allura decided to give herself to save the universe? and it makes sense to me? and i kind Of like it?
she was 10,000 years old and like yeah she hadn’t aged past like 20 because allura WAS an adult in like the pilot until they aged her down for lance
sure team voltron was her family. yes she had coran and romelle and new altea. but allura was literally Completely alone
her best friends her advisors the guy she bought drinks from in the square all gone. and i mean im not allura but if my entire culture had completely disappeared and its not like. a generation later where a grandkid might still be alive or something, EVERYBODY and every connection she had is gone
NOBODY made it from altea except for allura and coran they were literally the last bastions of old altea (yada yada the altean colony escaped altea but they were most likely just Dudes. many of which allura probably never met and wouldnt have been able to connect to)
and thats. thats a lot of pressure for a girl who’s wrangling BEING ten thousand years old, whos also saving the universe and being a diplomat and heading a coalition and trying to end the reign of the space nazis that obliterated her people
so when at the end of the world allura is presented with either go back to the current day where you’re all alone and have so many different leadership responsibilities and can never fully be understood OR see your parents and peers and friends again because they are waiting for you in the afterlife, and you get to return to your homeland that was ripped away from you as a child….i get it
i would make the same choices
and its not that team voltron didnt need her, they were truly her family, but she knew that they would be able to make it without her presence and they would continue to preserve her memory
allura got to make one decision for herself and her wellbeing after putting it all aside for the war effort and the rehab effort and for everyone else and shit. i really like it
plus she probably knew that coran would pass away before her since he was maybe 20 years her senior and even an altean lifespan does not last that long, and who knows if the people of new altea shared the same long lifespan that her and coran do
idk. allura got her good end. did it kind of ruin everyone else’s ending? sort of, but allura’s decision was deservedly selfish and i am going to die on this damn hill
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gardensnakie · 10 months ago
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.@nav-i-nav
YES AJSSHNSXBJSNS (referring to your stranger thoughts)
Stranger would most likely hold resentment to both Basil and Sunny. After everything, the final battle, after the realization of the truth and managing to self-forgive. It didnt help Stranger. Sure, he did what he was meant to do. A purpose fulfilled and he was meant to be erased, but he couldnt accept that. What did he want? Stranger was never acknowleged, it was always one-sided. And it was with the one person, the one hope, Stranger could rely on. Stranger remembers pieces of Basil, about how Sunny knew of his secrets, dreams, worries, all of it. It is painful, because Sunny still tried to shut him out. Stranger wants to save him, but there has to be a point where you ask "why do i try?". It might be selfish, but Stranger didnt exactly do anything wrong. He is a manifestation of the pieces of Basil Sunny was afraid him, that base eventually making him into the person he is in the present. Stranger wasnt actually there to tie the rope, he remembers it, sure, the guilt is overwhelming, but he still didnt do it. Also, while Stranger is hurt from Sunny/Omori's, he holds back a lot of his feelings for him. He is created with the outer knowledge that Stranger is a manifestation in a nightmare. Of course Sunny wouldnt think of Stranger as a person, there is no reason to be aggressive. That would probably fill that resentment further after he arrives in Faraway, since he is given that chance to be human. It seemed like Sunny's well being came first, no doubt, he was basically a god.
Resentment for Basil develops from the memories Stranger has from the recitial. "A desperate, shameful image acussed him of being somebody meant to be forsaken" is a line (maybe different wording im going off memory) i used in the fanfiction where Stranger wonders if he could possibily be a little selfish in life. Stranger doesnt want to be that unstable mess who couldnt find reason in a stressful situation.
And i agree what you said about Basil being careless about his own life and Stranger resenting that. Their abadonment struggles definetly differ from each other since Basil willingly hid away in the belief that he was undeserving of being listened to. Even so, it pulled him into such a sprial where Basil pinned those 4 lonely years on Sunny during the fight. Mostly influenced by the fact that Sunny was moving away and that Basil wasnt in the right mind space.
Stranger had no choice and had to face it all alone without any reason except for the memories he was given.
Rambling a lot, uhhhjmshsbs, about the rest of the gang, Stranger doesnt have a lot of thoughts about them. He barely remembers them, he only remembers the idea of pinics, flowers, friends, and family. He knows that the dreamworld versions are copies, so he doesnt have much to say since they were gone after the funeral.
Since Stranger is going to meet them again in the world world, he might get complex feelings seeing everyone all grown up. He might get anxious and wonder if he could really make up for what he lacked for his entire life. Its what he wanted, to belong AAAHHH LIKE YOU SAID Stranger may feel like he cant truly be friends with them. Meeting them again might make him hyper aware of who he is. An actual stranger to these people, who all changed. I have a small headcanon that Stranger would always call Hero "Henry" despite it always being his nickname because he doesnt want to seem intrusive or rude by assuming that he is close enough to call him that (unaware that literally everyone calls him Hero). Also because Stranger has never been around adults before and would probably use Ms. to address Polly as well.
Other things I think about is how Stranger precieves himself, like his human-self. He doesnt want to look too closely at his body and usually changes his clothes in the dark. Stranger isnt a human, he is a manifestation based off somebody else. A creature? He was created. Its complicated. His body is a complicated topic, one that he doesnt want to know about quite yet.
There is so much more ideas I have about Stranger. like the idea of death coming back to him, him actually thinking and wanting to go back to the darknees at one point, witnessing senseless cruetly, asking for help, the idea of aging, that fact that so many people have different minds (Stranger only deeply understood one, Sunny), self-expression, sickness, purpose and the thought of living itself.
Oh hooligans, those sillies. Stranger, as 'Rowan', hangs around with Kim and the others. Getting to know new people was suggested and Stranger got to know them a little more. I like thinking about them cause its important :>
Kim is suspcious and Stranger has to either keep lying or willingly tell the truth. Just some trust issue stuff. Cough ive been typing a lot and vomited a lot of words so yippe [good conclusion here]
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infernaltenor · 1 year ago
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maybe im just a super salty person bc its 5am and im Still not sleepingn and Still thinking about it but i cant help but feel that qtubbo fans are some of the most hypocritial people ive ever seen. this is like. full of generalizations and just observations ive made as a crow and im. typically defensive and salty so im gonna try to be objective but at the very least im not trying to neg on the characters or the ccs, since im directing this towards the fans. its also like a solid two months of build up .so. oops?
but uh. how to start explaining this. well for one im taking this as a recent fan who is a phil watcher pretty much only. but i tend to chronically read posts about other characters since when im into things i like to be informed on all cases (idk constant instinct i have lol). like i said im gonna focus on qtubbo here, if i go into qphil stuff its purely as a comparison point. i cant speak much on interactions with other fanbases since i simply am Not informed enough but yknow.
for one, i think both tubbo and phil ahve similar things when remembering lore that is Not their own. not a neg on either one, since i dont expect them to remember it, but both have forgotten major stuff recently, ie. fred's kidnapping (phil) and the birdhouse (tubbo). both things happened before purgatoryand the subsequent forgetting happened after so even in character it makes sense (they had more to worry about), but i also think reactions in character tends to fuck with audience perception. ie, tubbos very visceral reaction to the ill timed fred joke phil had made (and it was ill timed, and thats all that i feel was criminal about it. tubbo and phils friendship is very much based on banter and friendly barbs, lots of teasing from either side. phil simply shot back on a smilar level as tubbo had originally, making his joke about "phil and who?". other people have spoken on that so im not gonna rehash about whos comment was worse, since imo they were both just shy of being insensitive, had tubbo not been dealing with freds presumed death at the time. im not gonna talk about the funeral, becasue if i do i'll get mad.). likewise, when tubbo forgot birdhouse phils reaction was much less outwards. he just said a birdhouse wouldnt be slaying- given the imprisionment he had, it makes sense that phil would associate it negatively, especially since it catalzyed all of his future derealization episodes. both of these are simply ooc things imo, from their original standpoint. i dont think either is in the wrong for forgetting. but what annoys me is the fandom perception.
this is a problem im going to link back heavily to purgatory. im not sure if it was present beforehand, as i only really got into qsmp the last two-three weeks in october (bad timing) and had only really been watching vods in order to catch up. that being said, i think the bolas and soulfire rivalry had widened the gap between the fans, which in turn affects negative perception. later weeks in november had full bad faith interpretations of phil because he was critical of tubbos choices or simply didnt understand sunnys character perfectly. and there were. a lot of those. purgatory had happened just a few weeks prior, so i liken it to that. maybe it is just my expierence, but the phrasing of a lot of character crit and analysis between the two has wildly different interpretations of a character (to wildly different results)
you can get qphil fans explaining against a bad faith interpretaiton, and people will (and have) called them excuses to defend against character analysis. i have noticed, however, when qtubbo fans do the same thing (and they have) it seems to be more of a matter of adding context to the conversation. thats.... exactly what qphil fans are doing however? when talking critically about qtubbo not communicating with other parents and friends both his and sunny insecurities, its all that hes younger and in a bad mental state. but you have something about phil not understanding sunnys character perfectly, and hes a cruel stepmother and such; and when an explanation is added to why hes not a bad father nor a good father, just an imperfect one trying his best, its simply a "mindless defense against a crit of his character". are these not the same things? providing context to a percieved bad faith interpretation? idk. i cant tell if its the age or the percieved roles theyre supposed to take, but why is tubbo allowed to be imperfect and doused in outward angst, especially when interacting with other characters (ramon had to take the initiative to communicate with tubbo. and yet. age age age.) phils just as complex and imperfect and unwell. all of qsmp is unwell. it is an explanation, not an excuse.
anyway. i think i was thinking about this because of the flightless bird/ostrich dna joke. ill timed, just like the fred one. but phils reaction speaks volumes doesnt it? if its an age one maybe he'll overdramaticize, but he laughs it off mostly. theres a lot he laughs off. he doesnt. "if your kid wasnt here id kill you". tubbo doesnt know about phils failed flight. he probably wont for a while (i cant help but think qphil is embarassed. he was knocked unconcious from hitting the water too hard. and he knows how to fly? fuck, man). i think its wild, however, that one fred joke gets the entire fanbase ready to deface and mischaracterize the whole character. but one wing joke gets maybe shocked laughter and about two posts complaining? idk. maybe im just complaining about nothing, im tired as fuck.
tldr is that tubbo fans are so wildly hypocritical that they cant see when theyre doing the same thing as everyone else. im sure im being hypocritical in this post, its human. but its annoying as fuck when its everywhere, and i think purgatory made it worse.
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pasharuu · 2 years ago
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THIS IS THE FIRST PART.
idk why but i wanna show tumblr my aranara quests themed custom tarot deck lmao. i finished it in february but since i created this acc just recently, i gotta put it here now. im just really proud of this project and the fact that i actually finished it.
unfortunately tumblr will only allow me to add 10 pics per post, while there are 23 cards, so that kinda sucks. will have to separate em it seems. i'll also explain a little about my choices on these. so here we go, first ten.
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0 the fool - "where the journey begins". i think its already a tradition to put some main figure on the fool card and so did i. glad i used his correct design for the card-
basically theres nothing to explain except for the monarch butterfly symbolism, which usually is a sign of a chosen. not like Arama is any "chosen" in a common sense, but i felt like adding this anyway. 6/10 nice Arama card.
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I the magican - creation and manipulation. Aranimba got here for his exclusive sense of beauty and the will to create the beauty. he is an artist after all.
the story of the bg is kinda wonky. it was at release of 3.4 and due to my disappointment i made a pic where Aranimba points at that shiny cave northwest the mt. damavand with excitement. well, now its a boss enterance, but back then i had no clue, i made it literally at the release day lol. but it worked well on the bg of this card. i think you wouldnt guess it was that cave if i didnt tell, and that was done on purpose as well. 8/10 for backstory, and im proud of this card overall.
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II the high priestess - waiting for the impulse from outside, confidence. first of all, the high priestess to me was always associated with some whimsy loud woman, and if you ask me, this is where Arapacati fits. however here she is depressively hugging a viparyas cuz she kicked her brothers a decade ago and now shes sad. what did i tell u about whimsy woman? 6/10, solid.
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III the empress - the mother, fertility, the birth of a new. THIS IS WHERE WE STARTED, THE MAMA. no need to explain why i put Rukkhadevata here? 6/10, i struggled with this card cuz i hate drawing people, but it came out solid imo.
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IV the emperor - the father, discipline, responsibility. to remind you, Araja is basically the one who runs the Vanarana dream realm, the tree of dreams. he is also here for a very simple reason because of being a big boss here, and looking like one as well. 7/10, nice mustache.
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V the hierophant - attention to visible and invisible, search of the essence. if you ask me why i put Arapandu here, theres my answer - because he was the only major character who didnt have a card in the process of planning. i have some really vague explaination why exactly on hierophant, its mostly because of Varunastra actually, not Arapandu. i honestly dont have any emotional connection to Arapandu, he's kinda boring. 4/10.
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VI the lovers - chosen by heart, determination and aspiration. ONLY BECAUSE OF SUCH INTERPRETATION. im against shipping aranara x anyone.
i think i wouldnt even make any better choice for this card whatsoever. they are here because they share dreams and aspirations and i really love their duet. 9/10 i teared.
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VII the chariot - knowledge of the world, searching for the new. these goofy guys are here mostly because of "searching for the new", even though their methods were unsafe and archon knows what would happen to these dummies without any sense of self-preservation if we werent around. fact: they've been wondering for at least 4 years, but i love to say a decade. nay, theyre just very lucky. 5/10.
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VIII justice - "play nice, and others will play nice with you". this is a card for Nara Varuna specifically and i decided to make both Lumine and Aether so that everyone will be satisfied. since Nara Varuna did nice in the past, all the aranara praise their name in the present.
the bg is again kinda symbolic. these are runes on Varuna contraption: "the water", when the rain pours, for Lumine, and "the sky", when its sunny, for Aether. i only hate how i made them so vague that theyre barely recognizable eh. but overall good cards, 6/10.
THATS ALL FOLKS.
for now. i bumped into images limit. gotta complete it in the next two posts!!!
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selfundiagnosed · 8 months ago
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One time i saw a tiktok on instagram that was the life of someone with intrusive thoughts and she was like “i should dye my hair” or some other impulse and this guy stitched it and was like hmm weird mine are more like “i should put my hand in this blender” and im like weird! youre both just experiencing impulsive thoughts not instrusive thoughts the modern dilution of psychobabble is so surreal..!!😭 one of U just experiences violent impulsive thoughts and the other has quirky ones. Neither are indicative of intrusive thoughts.. Intrusive thoughts are like having an omnipotent entity giving you flashes of images in your head of horrible things happening to you/your loved ones.. thinking “I should ___” is not an intrusive thought SHRUG sorry if that offends you or invalidates your violent impulses. its more like a horrible scenerio in which you would be so out of control that the thing would occur on accident. or would happen TO you. Its not an active conscious (albeit random) choice to be thinking about something. I should bite this chunk of lava (i know it would kill me but it seems satisfying to chomp into). and youre disturbed by the implications of dying trying to eat lava… it just isnt the same as an intrusive thought which is placed in your head by what feels like a secret 3rd party… and i fear this is why so many people think people with niche ocd subtypes MAKES you that thing. Why people are disgusted when they find out about pedophilia ocd. Gender identity ocd. Morality ocd. Saying you have intrusive thoughts about an awful timeline in which youre a pedophile or abuser means to them youre fantasizing about it because to the general population intrusive thoughts have been watered down to mean silly or even maybe insane impulses you know you shouldnt do but omg wouldnt it be sooo cool if you could do it just once with no consequences? in reality its as if your mind has conjured up your worst nightmare timeline without your control. It makes you become whatever you think society hates the most and this will be based on each person’s individual experiences navigating the world. Some real social taboos like being a rapist or imaginary ones based off cultural beliefs like being gay/transgender. All in all the dilution of this type of psychobabble effectively alienates mentally ill people from their own niche communities leaving us with no space to seek solidarity for our specific issues caused by our disorders. Sorry you think she isnt suffering because she has hair dye impulses and you have real impulses like put hand in blender but at the end of the day you guys both experience impulses like everyone else does. And heres the thing is we all experience intrusive thoughts like even neurotypicals they just dont present like “i should do x y z” that would be an impulse. they present like vivid gifs in your head like thats so raven style or maybe some other specific way that doesnt imply a conscious choice in whether youre acting on the thought or not. But im not Gd or your boss or your father so dont listen to me!
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gay-david-tennant · 1 year ago
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No don't apologize for the Stucky stuff! I only watched Endgame once in the cinema because it pissed me off so much.
And I just did it again expecting to maybe be a little more forgiving. But NO I am still pissed off mainly because of this part...
same for me! watched endgame once and it pissed me off sooo much. im not sure whether i watched it ever again but im sure that in the future i definitely wont! and y'know for me its not even about shipping them (tho i do somewhat in the sense of i love their dynamic and want to see more of it no matter whether platonic, queerplatonic (or romantic)). but in the movies it is shown that there is no one more important to steve than bucky (man didnt want to fight against him although he was brainwashed and ready to kill him) and bucky literally broke 70 years of mind control for steve (and you dont just establish such a beautiful line as 'til the end of the line' in one movie and then betray that sentiment). they literally love each other! but for some reason people cant fathom platonic love (which it is in canon) greater than romantic love so they think if given the choice steve would go back to peggy. which is the direct opposite of what the three captain america movies showed us! he moves on! he learns she had a happy life, he goes to her funeral for fs sake! he kisses her niece (also dumb ass move of the directors guess they thought it would make people stop shipping stucky or whatever, hate that they basically just included sharon for love interest reasons). and in endgame hes been in the present for about 11 years! thats double the time he knew peggy in the 40s. and he. moves. on. (sorry it annoys me that they just ignored the whole character development). also the same goes for peggy. while she still was pretty one-dimensional love interest like in the movies, the series about her finally did something with her besides being the woman captain america likes. and she also. moved. on! and then they just erased all that, booted the series out of canon and just made her a cardboard-cut love interest again! ugh. also someone please tell me how it makes sense that Steve Rogers, the man that searched 2 years for Bucky without knowing whether hed find him and who fought out a civil war (at least partially) for him, would just sit around in the 50s while knowing that bucky was being tortured by hydra right now. he just wouldnt. thats so completely out of character i wanna scream! oh god this is long. anyway once again:
STEVE AND BUCKY'S LOVE FOR EACH OTHER IS CANON! AND JUST BECAUSE STEVE LOVED (yes ill say loved see 'he moved on') PEGGY ROMANTICALLY THAT DOESNT MEAN ITS MORE IMPORTANT OR GREATER THAN HIS LOVE FOR BUCKY. SAME GOES FOR IF HE STILL LOVED HER! THIS IS TRUE IN REAL LIFE TOO! PLATONIC LOVE IS NOT AUTOMATICALLY LESSER THAN ROMANTIC LOVE! THIS ALSO MEANS THAT 'THERES NO OTHER EXPLANATION THAN ROMANCE FOR STUCKY IS ALSO WRONG'. YES YOU CAN HEADCANON THEM AS ROMANTIC BUT IT IS NOT THE ONLY EXPLANATION.
and yes im aware that even with steve staying in the present, steve and bucky's relationship would still have been sidelined in favour of a romantic, straight (its marvel what are we expecting) one. i guess thats what i mean when i say im shipping them. they are made for each other ('its difficult to find someone with shared life experience' -> bucky shows up, god i love this) and their relationship is one of the most important in their lifes (if not the most) and relationships with other people (romantic, platonic, queerplatonic or other) would not change anything about that. but marvel (and lets be real the people watching) dont see this. so i have something to rant about for days :)
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