#i think thats worth it even if i have to buy less food
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rnaeborowski · 2 years ago
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i want it to be wednesday already.. i wanna relax in the hot springs right now...
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ghostbxne · 1 year ago
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a bit self-indulgent edward nashton headcanons bc im going insane and i have to share my though with the world
- he guessed the joker’s riddle wrong. joker didn’t mean to call himself his „friend”, he literally introduced himself as „ the joker” - the card. the less you have the more one is worth (jokers in a deck of cards) (but maybe im overthinking this lol)
- his teeth are not taken care of. the orphanage did not provide proper dental care for the children, so his teeth are crooked and he has a few cavities. he would like to get braces but still can’t afford it
tw: self harm mention in the next one
- he self harms (honestly thats canon, in the year one comic we see him as a child and his hands with very prominent bite marks). he also punches walls (implied in the batman movie when he slaps a wall in his cell in the asylum)
- he stims (in the year one comic he thinks to himself „stop chewing on your glasses, edward”) and is autistic (literally gets called „rain man” in the year one comic) but undiagnosed due to his financial situation and fear of any doctors (my personal headcanon, but also implied considering how the medical staff at the orphanage treated kids)
- cannot cook to save his life. he buys pre-made food or makes really bad watery soups so he can put them in cups and drink them while working
- usually keeps his nails a little longer. he picks at his skin a lot so it annoys him when his nails are very short
- has ocd (implied in the year one comic (intrusive thoughts) and in the movie (compulsive writing))
- has anxiety (pretty much canon)
- doesn’t really listen to music, he prefers podcasts (canonically listens to a motivational podcast in year one) and audiobooks
- usually wears a few layers of clothing. he’s usually cold and also insecure about his body. (i love his year one cardigan)
- really likes animals, especially dogs. he likes how they don’t leave their owners and are always on their side. would like to have a dog but can’t (obvious reasons)
- has very big trouble managing his emotions (canon) and gets incredibly upset when something doesn’t go his way, even the small things
tw: animal abuse mentioned in the next one
- has a fear of water and drowning (might be from that one time when the guy at the orphanage forced him to drown a rat)
- doesn’t really know how to take care of himself due to childhood neglect
- has nightmares every night. after seeing the batman in real life they stopped for a while (he’d just have no dreams at all and occasionally a very distorted fever dream, but still not a nightmare), but he still kept repeatedly waking up in the middle of the night
alright thats it for now, i might edit the post and add more later or idk😭
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ghosterexia · 6 months ago
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If you want to lose weight, you must change your routine.
Here r some of my fav tips thats helps me lose almost 60 Ibs!
DISCLAIMER: I am COMPLETELY pro recov (yes at any BMI), if you are under 18 or non edblrr, plz leave. Take care of urselfs, im not a health care professional and most importantly plz look after urself <3
1.) I never spend much time at home.
Spending my time at home means I’m going to be bored. I know it. I’ve lived on my own for almost two years in October, and through my entire wl process, I realized I get bored at home, even if I don’t have food at my house, I’ll DoorDash. Nothing will prevent me from eating unless I remove myself from the situation. So I’ll take myself out, get a coffee walk around see what’s new and just explore!
2. Eat what you want
The BIGGEST tip I have for consistency. Eat what you want, don’t eat shit ur not gonna like. Of course in moderation. Im lucky that I grew up with parents that taught me a healthy diet, but I LOVE coffee. I used to drink tons of sugary creamy coffee which is just all empty cals. I still drink coffee, i actually tend to have one iced latte every day. Sounds quite excessive but it’s what I know will keep me on my feet. It’s my treat to myself. Plus it’s completely customizable so I’ve found ways to keep my latte cals under 100 cals 😉
3.) BE FUCKING NICER TO YOURSELF!!
YES I fucking mean it. Be kinder to yourself. Having an 3D is already a living fucking nightmare the last thing you need is negative reinforcement. Let’s say you just binged. Sure, you can sprint on the treadmill, or even pxrg3, but you are only going to repeat that cycle. Our bodies are intelligent. Not everything is a mental reaction if that makes sense. If you are b1ng1ng it’s because you need to supplement urself with those nutrients and fuel that ur body is lacking. And that’s okay, plus one or two binges a week (of course within a reasonable amount) can help aid ur metabolism. My biggest tip from bouncing back from a b1ng3 r3str1ct cycle is eating at maintenance and eating nutrient dense foods!
4.) Experiment with your diet
No, this has nothing to do with cals. Like I previously mentioned, I grew up in a household where my parents were cooking healthy real meals. But at some point, I lost a lot of that connection and I had to reteach myself what I liked. With that being said, retry things you used to like, try new foods, seriously the more wider ur palette is the more options you’ll have when it comes down to 3ating.
5. Actually eat better
This is so much easier said than done and I understand that. But seriously eat better. If you are what many call a “junkorexic” sure, you are still eating in a deficit and you are still going to lose weight but like I mentioned before our bodies are so much smarter then we think. Just because u can eat a bag of chips and ramen for dinner and stay under 800 cals a day doesn’t mean your gonna make true progress. Because your only source of energy is coming from empty calories, you aren’t actually getting the nutrients you need. This is going to lead you to a variety of physical symptoms and most importantly of all you are least likely to stick to that di3t cuz ur gonna feel fucking miserable. A 300 cal bag of chips isn’t gonna make you feel full but maybe 300 cals worth of chicken and vegetables might!! You are also just overall more likely to binge because 1 these foods r made to be addictive and 2 ur not actually satisfied and u aren’t ACTUALLY fueling ur body with the correct nutrients.
6. SET URSELF UP 4 SUCCESS
It’s a very broad phrase, but what I mean is if u do ur own grocery shopping and ur buying urself chips, ice cream, sodas (even diet sodas), if you don’t have the right amount of self discipline or you know you lack self control, you r likely to binge. So try swapping out for lower calorie but similar snacks, maybe less snacks that you’ll typically eat and save those cals for meals. Or my favorite, make ur own snacks at home!! ^_^ also LEARN HOW TO FUCKING COOK!! SERIOUSLY the weight will just fall off if u know what ur putting in ur meals and u know what ur consuming!!!
That’s pretty much all I got for now but let me know if there’s other tips you’d like to hear! Please take care of yourself, we are all suffering together, and ur weight is not a determination of how serious ur 3D is. <3
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nectariii · 11 months ago
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❀ building 13 movie theater headcanons !! ❀
YURRRR !! went to da movies earlier today so i kept imagining specific nanbaka characters in like cinema situations :P cinemations...cinetuations...?? YEAH-
rock is finding a way to smuggle in an outrageous amount of snacks. bro's got candy in his sleeves and chips in his pockets. originally only brought them for himself but ofc the rest of cell 13 beg him for a bite and he lets them cus thats just who he is. despite how much food he brought in he still finds himself missing the beginning of the movie bc he couldn't resist the heavenly scent of overpriced popcorn
nico is a slushy FANATIC. mixin' all the flavors, dumping candies in it n shit. totally the kid in the back of the movie theater slurping the last drop out of the cup hella loud when a quiet, tense moment is going down in a film. hajime's annoyed but stares daggers at anyone who tries to shush him. NICO'S FAV SLUSHY FLAVOR IS THE RED CHERRY ONE !!
uno, bless his heart, is absolutely the person who tries to predict the movie's plot before and during it. and the bad part is he's usually right. also the kinda guy to be scarily good at guessing what the characters are gonna say next lol
jyugo actually likes the movies more than you'd expect. always pockets the 3d glasses just cus he thinks they're cool and he likes that he can spend time with the rest of cell 13 without a heavy focus on talking or interacting. it's also a bonus that it's dark and he can sleep if he gets bored
it took FOREVERRRR to drag tsukumo out to the movies. hc that he's a much bigger fan of media without human actors in it because it reminds him less of his past, so the movie he went out to see with the rest of them was definitely animated. also likes the dark because it makes him feel stealthy, but he has a bad habit of stepping on each and every piece of popcorn or puddle of nacho cheese in the aisles...also insists on using the photo booth whenever he does hit up the cinema cus despite it all he still really likes getting his picture taken
yamato volunteers to wait on the snacks and carry them in while everyone goes ahead to take a seat in the theater. previews end and the movie is 15 minutes in but he still isn't there. everyone thought it was because the food was taking long to come out, but it's just because he forgot which theater to go to and kept circling until hajime and seitarou found him. prolly has trouble locating which seat to go to on his own cus he finds the letters and numbers confusing and hard to see in the dim light (totally not projecting)
seitarou has perfect movie etiquette and tries to get everyone else to follow his example, usually to no avail. his only problem is that he's too considerate of others and thinks he's being impolite when he's really not. the type to take the smallest bite of his food and tiniest sip of his drink so he doesn't disturb anyone. the kind to walk all the way around to the other side of an aisle because he doesn't wanna ask someone to pull back their seat for him to pass. poor guy, he even double-checked to see if his phone was on do not disturb and got shushed because his brightness was all the way up </3
andddd hajime. he's usually the sponsor for these outings since yamato literally can never find his wallet and seitarou doesn't have the heart to tell the others not to drain his bank account by buying ever concession there is. he doesn't let the inmates go wild with snacks and makes sure they behave properly while in there. uno tries to get the inmates to sneak over to another theater and catch the next showing but hajime catches them and makes them pick up the teensy bits of food they left on the ground. he's also the one who has the final say on what movie they actually go to, and even though he says he checks the ratings and plot beforehand because he "doesn't want to watch a shitty movie", it's actually because he wants it to be worth everyone's time and appeal to all of them at least a little bit. dadjime for the win <3
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sadsnek · 11 months ago
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sonic and cooking head canons
sonic. no way he knows a lot of modern home cooking if any home cooking when he knows he can just buy it or have dinner with tails / amy, BUT he should know basic foraging and gathering by now and has plenty experience cooking on a camp fire.
tails. is better at meal prep then cooking or at least he thinks he is why spend so much time making 2 to 3 meals a day every day when he can just make 3 meals and increase the ingredients by 700% and save the rest for the other days of the week but he will cook somthing fresh when he has guest over, if you can consider boiled hot dogs fresh that is.
amy. she is a great home cook and will cook with cream vanilla and big from time to time, the problem is when she wants to get fancy and trys to make a new recipe and has full confidence when she is in reality way over her head, and it dosent matter what she is making she will say "and now the secret ingredient" its love the secret ingredient is love and its not much of a secret if its the secret ingredient in every thing she cooks.
knuckles. similar to sonic but has the benefit of being on the same island all the time, he doesnt have a oven or any electric equipment but he does have some primitive stuff like a mortar and pestle, plus knuckles should have a garden some where on the island yeah its over grown and poorly kept but its still a place where he can get some snacks.
cream and vanilla. these two are the best cooks in town even better than amy any thats ok because they are happy to invite people over for dinner and if you cook with them you will probably learn some thing new, also the serving sizes are pretty big as vanilla is most defiantly the tallest person in town.
eggman. in thought he is a master chief but in action he has not cooked in years think about it the food he eats is more than good enough to keep up his large shape despite all the mechanics work he does and he had to program or train his robots to cook at some point, so he know how to work a kitchen but he is so busy and he has robots that can do it for him so he probably never cooks more than once a month or even less.
shadow. he is a picky eater with a nostalgic taste in food so he knows how to cook food but nothing passed the 60s, and despite not making any thing trendy or popular he at least knows he will make some thing he will eat.
rouge. its fair to say she likes to eats high class how she gets the money for these lavish meals is well not all ways moral, but she is willing to eat some thing simple when at social gatherings most defiantly if she does not have to pay for it.
omega. I dont know if it is said or not if they have a animal powering them but if they do that bird is getting ripped(its probably a flicky) we are talking protein powder steroids fresh salad, it does not matter if its weird and maybe traumatic to feed them chicken and rice but thats what professional marshal artist eat so thats what omegas power source eats too!
charmy. he makes peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in the mourning for school days/work days and is proud of them.
espio. he is well known at the asian market and knows how to cook but does not get to learn any thing expensive or fancy ether for price and schedule issues.
vector. boy he has been trough the rough of it he knows how to feed 3 people on 400$ a month, and thats by hanging out at vanillas house.
team hooligan. bark and fang probably know some recipes but bean is a chemical fanatic one minute there making muffins and the next minute there pulling out a whole tray of crystal meth.
silver. i dont think he has a steady supply of food is most apocalyptic futures so he just likes to eat a pound of dry cement for breakfast.
surge and kit. they use to get fresh meals when starline was around, but now they got use to the effort of MREs if it takes more effort than poring water in a thermal bag then its worth the effort to just mug some one for some diner cash.
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anonil88 · 2 years ago
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Tech i sold around 1600 worth of pride shirts last month. I only made enough to cover one month of cable (200) ,my phone (60), and groceries/food (120). But I didn't have enough leftover to put on my credit cards to cover this month and last month's payment that all the shirt charges go on.
So now I'm late on 2 cards and the job I thought I would get is another rejection/taking so long I think I'm being ghosted again.
Hahah. I'm useless this is so pathetic I should really find a bridge.
But I can't cause I have to help my granddad but what use is that. He's gonna fucking pass and then what. Hey he gets better at least I can jump and feel a little less guilty because I did at least one good thing before I go. And here I was thinking hey my designs have gotten really good. Someone has to buy all these good clothes soon right? All the ones on poshmark but nothing only 1 of the brand new pairs of shoes have went and I guess thats a testament to how everyone else is struggling too. I'm so stupid why is it fair to make money off of others who are also struggling but at least they have jobs and I'm too fucking dumb to even get one interview. And now I cant afford to sell anymore shirts and no one wants a commission. God I really did end up a loser and a waste just like my mom said I would be if I chose to be a lesbian. And I know I have value and worth but it's not good enough in this world. I can't do anything right and I'm refreshing all of my emails hoping praying there is an interview there or a you're hired. But nothing. Like what is wrong with me everyone that was struggling the same amount of time as me has gotten something by now. It may not be in their field or what they wanted but it's something. I can't get a remote job that has benefits ive even lowered my starting salary to exactly minimum wage for my state because maybe if im not difficult i can get hired. Maybe that's the universes plan for me to just show the people that sometimes you never get a step forward and you just fail even when you succeed. I'm finally looking at the stuff I'm making and I'm so excited because I've really improved but there's no job to sit behind it. My grandma bought me milk the other day and I was really grateful but I get upset because she shouldn't have to do that for me. Or I should be able to pay her back but I can't all I can do is help my granddad get around the house, make sure he gets his pills, and check his blood sugar. That's nothing in comparison to what I should be doing or where I should be in her eyes. And I'm nowhere near that, my mom would have had a job by now. But she has networking skills and I have the social skills of a walnut.
I'm in a hole and it's of my own creation. I thought creativity, passion, and skill were enough to at least keep the wifi on. I was stupid, young, and wrong. It means nothing in this world it probably means nothing in other worlds. This is just the way it is. This is the curse my mother spoke my queerness would leave me sad and alone. I'm not alone just lonely and not sad but discouraged. But maybe this is what she meant.
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moonbeamsung · 4 years ago
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You’re Just a Boy in a Blueberry Field
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No fruit is sweeter than a summer love.
member: haechan
au: blueberry farmer!haechan x gn!reader
word count: 5.0k
genre: fluff, very light angst
warnings: mentions of food
author’s note: It’s here! I actually wrote most of this last summer, but only recently did I find the time to edit and get it ready to be posted. I added some parts and changed a few things, and now I like it quite a lot, so I hope you do as well! Thank you @astroboy-lele​ for beta-reading :) As always I would love to hear any feedback on this, and I hope that you enjoy the fic!
taglist: @astroboy-lele @kyuwoyo @rvse-hvvck @nakamotocore @kisshim @leejunini @chicksung @mrkcore @radiorenjun @moon-jun @jisungiest @stayctday @byutafy @jujubean23 @treasurehobi​ @bluejaem​ @lyshoonn​ @vera-liscious​ @allegxdly​ @cupfullofjeno​ @thats-a-jen-no-no​ @yo-ddream​
network tags: @kpopscape @neo-constellations @culture-cafe @dreamlab-nct @k-dinernet 
Thank you lovely Ana @rvse-hvvck for this additional header!
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Donghyuck knows everything there is to know about those blueberries.
Without even pausing for the briefest of moments to think, to instinctively recall the information instilled in him throughout his childhood spent on the farm, he can answer any question that’s thrown at him. He can point out just the right color of berry to pick so that they’ll be ripe when you eat them later. Likewise, he can also tell you which ones are best to eat now, as you pick them, pretending not to notice when you pop one or two into your mouth and grinning when your eyes light up from the sweetness.
A day comes where he, filled with mischief as usual, places a not-so-ripe blueberry into your hand, and you, being so wrapped up in the peacefulness of the morning that surrounds you, fail to notice its red color and don’t think twice about lifting it to your lips, biting into it with your teeth. When the tart taste meets your tongue, your face contorts into an expression that elicits a raucous fit of laughter from him. You’re the first one in the fields that day. When the sun had risen on the horizon, the fleeting touch of color in the sky that dawn left behind still lingering above, he had been there, sitting on the front porch as always to greet customers.
Donghyuck knows every bug that loves to rest on the branches of the blueberry bushes. After spending so much time next to you as you scan them for the pops of vivid blues and purples that are hidden behind jade green leaves, he begins to learn that you are not fond of any bug, no matter how harmless. It’s cute, he thinks, how you inspect every berry that you drop into your basket, fearing that some small creature is lurking on it. If you do find something, he hears a small noise of both surprise and disgust before you fling the perfectly good berry away from you. It also hurts a little, knowing that it’s one less for you to take home.
When more people arrive at the farm after you, he’s forced to leave your side and get them started on their own search for the delicious fruit that’s nestled among the branches of nearly every bush. And if they ask where the best ones are, he specifically points them in the direction of the fields where you aren’t. It isn’t a lie, really, because they’ve had a good harvest everywhere this year.
...Okay, so maybe it’s a little selfish on his part, but who can blame him for wanting you to have some of the most plentiful bushes all to yourself?
Wednesdays are his favorite because it’s always the least crowded of all the mornings they’re open for business, and he can spend more time following you as you make your way down the rows, admiring the focus on your face and the way that you sometimes pause mid-reach, closing your eyes and standing still as the sun peeks through the clouds and casts its warm glow down onto the farm. A gentle sigh tumbles from your lips, darkened by the violet nectar that remains from the countless blueberries that have crossed their usually pink-tinted threshold. You resume your search after a few seconds, catching his eye and returning a smile he didn’t even know was there.
He makes the berries taste a little sweeter when he’s next to you. The purple juice that stains your fingers is a little darker. The sun feels brighter and warmer than ever, its heat shining down onto your skin.
One particular morning, after you finish picking all the blueberries you can carry, you decide to accompany Donghyuck on the porch, sitting beside each other in matching rocking chairs that first belonged to his great-grandparents, the farm’s founders. The familiar sounds of birds chirping and the low mumbling amongst customers meet your ears. You both gaze fondly at the horizon while immersed in casual chatter, all the while tending to several families as they come and go.
Whenever a car turns off of the two-lane, paved road and onto the noisy gravel path leading into a small grassy area that functions as a parking lot, Donghyuck excuses himself from the lively conversation both of you always find yourselves sharing. He stands, brushing his hands off on his faded denim overalls that are only slightly too large for his frame. His hand lifts up the baseball cap he always wears while the other runs through his hair, and your gaze falls on the back of his neck where it rests in longer strands. You always wonder why he keeps it like that since he complains about how hot it makes him feel. The humid summer air is stifling enough as it is, after all. The thought vanishes only moments after it arrives, though, and he flashes a brilliant grin at you over his shoulder as he descends the wooden stairs leading down to the patio.
Today, a happy looking family gets out of a shiny silver minivan. The mother and father with two kids, a boy and a girl, make their way toward the covered patio and Donghyuck bounds down the steps like always, grabbing 4 stacked pails in his calloused hands. You lean forward a little in the creaky old rocking chair, your weight in your toes, ears just barely picking up his conversation with them. He greets the parents warmly, shaking their hands and then he kneels down to be eye-level with the small children. The little boy seems shy as he clasps his fingers in front of him, thumbs twiddling back and forth, while his sister is clearly the opposite. She skips over to the much taller boy, saying hello.
“Do you two like blueberries?” He asks them, one arm resting on his knee and the other extending a pail out in front of him. The young girl nods enthusiastically before she takes the container from his hand and turns around, passing it to her brother as he nods, making eye contact with Donghyuck for the first time. A small smile grows on his face when he’s met with the wider one of the unfamiliar but still welcoming stranger. His sister speaks up again, “Every Friday we get to help Mom make her famous blueberry pie!”
“Is that right?”
“Yep! In the morning we always go to the supermarket and get fresh blueberries,” she explains. Her mother leans down, softly telling her that this week they’re here to pick blueberries instead, fresh from the farm they were grown on.
“Really? So that means we’re not buying them at the store anymore?”
“Well, honey, today we can pick enough blueberries to last us for a whole month’s worth of blueberry pies.”
“And besides,” Donghyuck starts, still kneeling on the ground next to her, his boot leaving an imprint in the dirt underneath it, “it’ll taste even better since you picked them yourselves, don’t you think?” The boy punctuates his question with a wink.
The young boy steps up for the first time, grin stretching even wider as he finds the courage to happily agree with the wise words. Exclaiming eagerly and in a way that only a child can, he takes his sister by the hand that’s not holding his small bucket before scurrying off, their parents close behind after grabbing pails for each other as well as a third that their daughter had forgotten in the midst of the excitement.
As Donghyuck joins you on the porch once again, you can’t help but smile as you remember how he interacts with each and every customer that passes through the weathered fence surrounding the property. When he talks to kids in particular, his eyes seem to light up, and you see just how much of a kid he still is deep down. His playfulness never fails to make an appearance whenever you spend time with him.
You’re thankful for the moo of a cow in the distance that interrupts his question of why you’re smiling like an idiot and hopefully drowns out the steady sound of your pounding heart.
The next week he tells you that the rest of his family is out of town, and he’s been left with the responsibility of running the farm all on his own. He usually does most of the work himself these days anyway since he’s getting older and more mature, although some of his jokes say otherwise. You miss the way his mom would poke her head out of the upstairs window of the main house, calling out a greeting to you both from across the property, overjoyed at the sight of her son spending time with the particular customer he’s mentioned so many times before. Whether he would share an amusing anecdote of yours with his siblings at the dinner table or point out something that reminded him of you, it was far too easy for her to figure out how he feels about you.
In an effort to spend more time with him, keep him company and just help out in general, you offer to stay at the house with him for a little while. Or at least until his family gets back from their trip, and to your delight, he agrees. You arrive in the late evening, on a day when the fields are closed, just in time to catch the setting sun as it disappears behind the trees and power lines that seem to stretch for miles in the distance. Tugging an overnight bag of belongings with you, you knock twice on the wood of his front door.
It opens swiftly and Donghyuck welcomes you inside, wearing an apron that he must have outgrown 10 years ago, at least. You snicker at the snug choice of attire and he shoves your shoulder, though not with enough force to make you stumble. He whines a little in that saccharine-sweet voice of his that makes your heart clench, but you don’t give in. Not this time.
When the farm is closed for the day, the family has a chance to pick from some of the bushes that are planted in a more secluded area, all to ensure that they also have a big enough supply of the fruit to last them for the season. So Donghyuck had woken up at the crack of dawn, although you aren’t sure why. He had made his way downstairs and out into the dewy air of the morning, gathering just enough blueberries to bake a cobbler that night when you came over, since he’d learned it was your favorite treat after hours of conversation about anything and everything. The recipe comes straight from his great-grandfather, he informs you, and it’s written on a yellowing piece of paper in handwriting that you couldn’t read even if you tried. He, however, can somehow decode the seemingly nonsensical swirls and lines on the page. You suppose it’s part of the magic of the family recipe that gets passed down with it.
Donning an apron yourself, you join him at the sink as you begin washing the berries, gently grabbing a handful at a time as you let the tap water clean them. When you both reach into the large container at the same time, your hands brush and you almost scoff at the swell of your heart that you feel inside your chest.
As you’re working together to make the batter that you will soon pour into his mother’s finest glass baking pan, Donghyuck briskly swipes his fingertip on the side of the bowl where the mixer had splattered the combined ingredients, extending it in your direction. You raise an eyebrow at the boy and said fingertip before turning your head away.
“If you really think that I would lick that off your finger, then you’re terribly mistaken.”
Coyly, the mischief-maker in question retorts back as you glance at his impishly delighted expression. “Are you sure?” 
“Positive,” you state rather firmly, but matching the mirth in his eyes with a glimmer of amusement in your own. “I’ll settle for the spatula, thanks.”
“Suit yourself.” Donghyuck rolls his eyes, your answer completely expected. At least he tried. 
You won’t deny that you enjoy sampling a bit of the batter of a dessert as much as anyone. But not that much.
Left with no choice, he takes himself up on his own offer and sticks his finger into his mouth with an audible ‘pop,’ exaggerating the action just to get a rise out of you, feeling the upward curl of his lips when you react ever so slightly with a silent chuckle.
You’re adding the last bit of flour to the mixture when you accidentally get some of the powdery substance on your hand in the process. Turning the automatic mixer off, you momentarily forget about your stained skin and you make the mistake of wiping your face with the back of your wrist, smearing the white stuff on your cheek. Donghyuck notices, of course, and an innocent attempt to help clean up the mess only ends with the two of you blushing like crazy.
“Let me help you,” he speaks up.
“Don’t be ridiculous, the pan’s not that heavy, and even if it was, I’m strong enough anyway—”
You’re about to pick up the glassware but his sudden strides over to you from across the large kitchen cause everything you were saying, doing, and thinking to come to a complete stop. You’ve never really had a problem with personal space before, but right now he’s leaning down and his face is so close that you’re afraid to even breathe for fear that the action might just throw you off balance and towards him. For fear that you might not push his chest away with your hands if that happens.
He’s bending his knees to match your eye level and his hand lifts from its place at his side, hovering in midair not far from where the flour still lingers on your skin. His eyes had been so focused on the stain but the shrinking proximity between you and him pulls his gaze from your cheek to your eyes, blown wide and confused because you still have no idea that there’s something on your face.
The undoubtedly palpable tension in the room almost reaches down his throat and pulls the words from his vocal chords in an effort to dispel the heavy air circulating around the both of you.
“There’s… uh… you have flour…”
Donghyuck still hasn’t broken the less than comfortable eye contact, but he’s unable to look away for reasons unknown to him. After an agonizing amount of seconds your brain switches on again, albeit slowly, and you’re able to properly process the position you’re currently in. Your own hand starts to lift and though the movement is slight, it’s enough to draw his eyes down to it and he finds the strength to complete his goal at last.
His thumb swipes across your cheek and without even thinking he pops it into his mouth once again, forgetting about the unpleasant taste of flour. The way that the boy’s face scrunches up when the bitter powder meets his tongue doesn’t eliminate the awkwardness completely, but it’s a start. You hastily make an effort to avert your gaze as you frantically wonder if he caught your face that’s surely as warm as a blazing fireplace, all because he did the unthinkable with that stupid finger of his.
You won’t let yourself dwell on how his hand is just the right size to cradle the side of your head, or how much nicer his lips look up close, or how they must taste like the blueberries that he snuck into his mouth as you made the cobbler, or how you wished he had used his lips on your cheek instead of his thumb.
How you wish he had closed the almost nonexistent distance between your flushed faces.
These thoughts do nothing to ease the steadily growing heat that’s currently taking over your skin. Your eyes land on the glass pan and you take the opportunity to grab it, acting as a sort of distraction for your mind and also as something to snap you both out of your embarrassed hazes.
You get the finished dessert into the oven with no trouble after that, and now you have a little over half an hour of time to kill before it’s ready, so Donghyuck leads you into the nicely furnished family room and plops down onto the plush couch. When you don’t immediately follow he glances up at you, sensing that you’re still hesitant after the awkward moment. He smiles softly and almost apologetically, as if he’s sending a silent signal that you’ll both move past it soon enough, an invitation to put the incident behind the two of you. And you accept it.
You take a deep breath before you sit down next to him, sinking into the cushions underneath and behind you. The material dips slightly under the weight of both your bodies and gravity itself seems to be in control as it pushes you together, shoulders bumping and the sides of your legs being pressed up against each other. Thankfully, the television roars to life with the laughter of a live audience on one of your favorite shows, and you exhale a puff of air you didn’t even know you were holding in. With every scene that lights up the large display, you curl up further and further into his side, his arm migrating across the back of the sofa and winding around your shoulder only a few centimeters at a time.
This feels like home. Donghyuck feels like home.
The buzzer of the oven interrupts when you’re halfway through another episode, prompting you to jump to your feet just as abruptly as the alarm-like noise had started blaring. Consequently his arm flops down by his side as he mentally curses the loud intrusion into what had become a comfortable atmosphere, an atmosphere that was finally surrounding you again after what felt like an eternity but had really only been an hour.
In no time, you’re returning from the kitchen, the warm blueberry contents of the cobbler oozing out onto the flowery pair of plates you had grabbed from the cupboard. Handing one to him and setting the other aside for yourself, you quickly go back around the corner to grab two tall cups of cold milk. Your second time joining him on the couch comes more easily, almost all of the earlier tension having dispersed into the room, wafting out the windows along with the delicious scent of the fruit baked into the sweet, flaky crust. In fact, you’re fairly sure that it’s strong enough for even his neighbors down the road to smell. Which reminds you: you need to package some up to deliver to them tomorrow, per Donghyuck’s suggestion.
You’re most definitely sure that he smells the aroma, of course, because it’s hard to ignore the eagerness with which he takes a large bite of the dessert. “We make better bakers that I thought we would,” the boy comments, taking a sip of milk. The white mustache that it creates above his top lip when he lifts the glass to his mouth is enough to make you giggle, and you’re unaware that this predictable reaction was his objective all along. He grins, rather satisfied.
With your stomach now full, a head-plaguing drowsiness begins to set in. It slowly fills your senses enough for you to drift off, fork nearly falling out of your hand and onto the floor before he catches it, along with your weight when you slump down against his shoulder. Donghyuck is barely able to reach one of the end tables, and he sets the dishes and silverware down next to the now empty cups. Your body unconsciously clings to his like a koala to a branch, with both hands clutching one of his arms and a leg hooked over his thighs.
He takes one look at you and wishes he could pause time, to stay here forever. It’s not every day that he meets someone who can easily match the amount of snark he possesses. Simultaneously, you also balance out the friendship you share with your compassion and sense of wonder about the world, always evident in your morning routine when you come to the fields. Donghyuck has noticed that you bring out those same qualities in him, perhaps more than anyone else ever has. And just like you’re holding him right now, he vows to hold on to you.
As much as he doesn’t want to get up and for the evening to progress, he knows he should, that it has to. So he manages to detach from the hold of your limbs, gently pushing himself up and off of the couch so he doesn’t disturb you.
Glancing at the large antique clock above the doorway that leads out into the hall, Donghyuck realizes it’s much later than he thought. He decides to turn in for the night, but on a regular day he usually finds himself still awake well past midnight, despite the need to wake up early the next morning and run the farm from the crack of dawn.
Since you’re tired and he doesn’t want to risk you waking up alone in an unfamiliar bed and place, he comes to the conclusion that he’ll join you. Only leaving your side for a moment, he puts the cobbler into the refrigerator and turns off the kitchen lights behind him as he goes. Softly padding halfway up the stairwell, Donghyuck makes sure there’s enough light for him to see where he’s going before making his way back into the living room one last time. He tucks one arm underneath both of your bent knees as tenderly as he can, and places the other behind the middle of your back, hand gently curling against your waist. He carries you with probably the most delicacy he’s shown in his entire life.
Going upstairs is generally an easy task, but doing so while carrying another person is a different story. He would never forgive himself if he were to hurt you in any way. If even your foot happened to bump the wall next to you, a burst of frustration at himself and his own carelessness would surface regardless of the impact’s intensity
Your position in his arms gives him yet another opportunity to gaze upon your peaceful expression, and he begins to think more deeply about what you are to him. Looking forward to your visits makes his work so much more enjoyable and worth it. You’re someone who truly appreciates what he and his family do for a living and you faithfully support them with your business as a customer whenever you can, which is a rare thing to find in most people that come. Most are just bored and in need of something to occupy themselves or their kids. Sometimes they don’t even pick that many berries. But you always make sure to bring your own basket, which holds just as many as if not more than the ones the farm provides, and fill it to the brim. In his eyes, you’re special.
Amidst the mostly-asleep state that you’re in, your eyes just barely open far enough to see a blurry picture of Donghyuck’s face as he carries you through the house and up into the bedroom he had suggested you share. He sets you down onto the soft mattress before pulling the covers up to your stomach, retreating into the attached bathroom to quickly change into a thin t-shirt and his favorite pair of plaid pajama pants.
The memory of that conversation floods back to you. Initially, you refused the offer, saying that he would rest better if he had more space to move around. But being the clingy person he is, he had pouted desperately as you struggled to stand your ground in the discussion. “Fine,” you had huffed, only half-frustrated with those doe eyes he always uses to get his way, and your lips had great difficulty holding back a smile.
The hum of electricity that can be heard emanating from the next room snaps you out of these thoughts, and is enough to wake you up a bit more. Your gaze scans the surroundings for a minute or two before he opens the door again, his eyes now looking as heavy as your own.
Donghyuck joins you under the blanket and shifts to lay on his side, facing you. It’s funny that you’re both able to adjust to a situation so intimate and new almost instantly. Still on your back, your head turns and you’re conscious enough to raise an eyebrow at the boy. There’s that pout again.
“Please?” He mumbles, his bottom lip jutting out in an action he’s perfected. You know exactly what he’s after: cuddles.
You don’t even try to hide the playful roll of your eyes as you scoot a little closer, but it’s not close enough for him. He gets impatient, meeting you halfway, and this time it’s him that flings a leg over yours. An endearing, small noise of contentment from him fills your ears as you take notice of his arms, now interlocked behind your neck and around your shoulders. You melt into the snug position, a hand landing on his forearm that’s laying across your chest. Turning ever so slightly to the side, your other hand winds around his middle and eventually rests just above his hip, pulling him into you even more. Donghyuck nuzzles his face into the side of your neck, a few strands of your hair tickling his skin as he sighs in complete and utter bliss.
Determined to savor the moment until the irresistible inevitability of slumber starts to overtake you once more, you fight to stay awake with all of your might. But in what you thought was only the blink of an eye, the glittering stars visible through the bay window’s sheer drapes morph into the pale golden rays of first light. There’s a soft murmur of your name along with an unintentional, almost imperceptible peck to the place where his lips meet your skin, and you’re wide awake. Not to mention a little shocked.
He’s utterly unfazed, though, slowly waking up now that the sun has gotten brighter, its beams filtering into the room and hitting his already glowing face that becomes a gorgeous honey-colored hue.
Donghyuck reluctantly withdraws his arms from your form after one last embrace, effortlessly rising from the wrinkled bed sheets and offering his hand to you when you start to do the same. A sleepy smile makes a home on his features and he reminds you of your task to deliver a portion of the dessert you made to his next-door neighbors.
That’s exactly what you do, first making yourselves presentable in the bathroom by smoothing down wild bed hair and freshening up your faces with cool water. Being around to see each other’s natural morning states is a major act of trust, and he doesn’t miss an opportunity to poke fun at you for it.
“How long does it normally take for you to do your hair every day before you come here?” His tone is dripping with feigned innocence, but the sly grin on his lips says otherwise.
“Shut up, Hyuck.”
Tupperware container in hand, your shoes step in rhythm with his as you amble along the grassy shoulder of the street together. Somehow you end up hand-in-hand by the time you reach his neighbors’ front patio.
“Donghyuck!” The elderly woman at the door greets him with a twinkling voice, her husband coming into view soon after. “Look who it is, honey,” she motions fondly to the boy who they both once knew to be much shorter and younger, but now is all grown up before their eyes. “You’re getting so tall. It seems like only yesterday you were scurrying through the blueberry fields and waving to us through the gaps in the fence.”
“Yes ma’am, it does,” he responds politely. The couple has been living there for as far back as he can remember, and quite honestly they feel as if they’ve become part of his family, too.
Her warm brown eyes light up. “Is this the customer your mother was telling me about last week? She mentioned how close you’ve become, and now I’m finally seeing it for myself. You make a lovely pair.”
“Oh—” Donghyuck startles. Not much can get him flustered, but he hadn’t exactly been anticipating for his mom to recount all the things he’s said about you to the sweetest and most innocent of elderly couples. Of course they would assume that there’s something going on.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that, with you. He wouldn’t mind at all, really. He’ll just need to have a word about a little thing called privacy with his mother later.
You see the glint of panic in his eyes and speak up. It’s not often he makes such an easy target for teasing. “Thank you,” you state graciously, the smugness in the statement only noticeable to him. “We’re very happy together.” He feels you lean into him, fingers unwrapping from his and gripping the other side of his waist. You know exactly what you’re doing, and so does he.
Almost forgetting to hand over the slices of cobbler you’d cut earlier, Donghyuck nudges you to do so, and the four of you exchange thanks and farewells before you’re on your way back to the farm.
“Happy together, huh?”
“Shut up, Hyuck.” You mumble something else afterwards that he doesn’t quite catch.
“What’s that? Didn’t hear you,” he sings, stopping in his tracks. You do the same. “Shut up and what?”
“...And kiss me.”
After many days and many nights spent wondering, you can confirm that his lips do, indeed, taste as sweet as the blueberries in those fields.
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loveylangdon · 5 years ago
Text
If You Don’t I Will
Word count: 3.3k
JJ Maybank x Reader : showing jj subtle ways of how you care for him and John B is tired of him not seeing it
A/N: I wrote another JJ thing bc im a simp and I love him and this was also another idea thats been floating around. Fluff is you squint but you dont need to squint hard, next will def be angst bc I live for it Xx
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*not my gif full credit to owner*
“Hey” you let out as you carry 2 bags of groceries into the cheateu seeing the boys lounging on the couch gathered around John B’s phone you hear a chorus of “hey’s” as you move towards the kitchen. John B looks up and hands his phone to JJ making his way out the front door sending you a wink. Rolling your eyes you follow John B outside to your car. 
“You didn’t have to,” John B says smiling at you grabbing a grocery bag from your trunk shooting you a look 
“I have no idea what you’re talking about” you smile innocently to him and make your way over to grab the last grocery bag. You reach past John B until you feel his arm wrap over your shoulder, putting his grocery bag down he wraps his other arm around your shoulder engulfing you in a full hug laying his cheek at the top of your head. You wrap your arms around his torso and give him a squeeze 
“Thank you really” he lets out into your hair. You just give him a hug, you haven’t known them for long but John B automatically became like your brother and JJ was definitely your confidant. When you heard about Big John and Uncle T leaving John B by himself, your heart broke. John B had to support himself and apparently JJ was a constant resident in the chateau and it got harder to support themselves even if they both pitched in. When you found out always being smart with your money you set some aside to help supply the chateau so the boys wouldn’t starve.
JJ broke down one night during a late night smoke sesh you two had to get away from everything. He ended up telling you about his dad and mom in its entirety. After that you guys were kind of inseparable.You told him about why you had to move to OBX and he told you where his bruises and split knuckles came from. You never would’ve guessed one of the most caring people you knew would have to go through that. After that you subtly did more little things that hopefully made it easier on him. 
When you joined the Pogues you fell for his blue eyes and wild personality instantly his careless but protective nature made you fall hard but there was the rule. No Pogue on Pogue macking. Still fairly new to obx barely being here for a year you didn’t know how real the rule was. Being extra nice to JJ consisted of bringing extra of his favorite beer or asking him to buy you joints even though you didn’t smoke often, you would let him keep them, noticing his favorite snacks and bringing them on boat trips. Kie gladly gave up the title of caretaker and let you take over the snacks and picnics for day trips. After JJ told you his secret he made it clear that he didn’t take pity or handouts, you didn’t pity JJ you loved him and just wanted to make sure he knew it. 
So you helped JJ whenever you could making it seem like you were doing it by pure coincidence, knowing that he lived with John B you helped out the house, in general, to make it less obvious. Claiming you all spent so much time there any way it wasn’t fair to not help stock the necessities. 
Breaking away from your thoughts “I’m here for you guys always” you squeeze John B once more after you feel him loosening his grip “Let’s go I got ice cream” as John B fist bumps you snort “Oh I also got a better first aid kit” handing John B the second bag you move to the passenger side of the car. Hearing John B go back into the house you grab the first aid kit and hear footsteps as you open the back seat door to grab blankets. 
“What are the blankets for,” JJ asks questionably moving over to you to help grab some and you see him eye the first aid kit before you tuck it into a blanket
“For movie night. You can’t have a horror movie night without tons of blankets JJ it’s like against the rules” You quickly come up with the excuse. In all honesty it was starting to get colder and knowing the Chateau has minimal heating capacity you were going to accidentally leave them in the house and let the boys use them. The last time you were here late you asked JJ to borrow a sweater or a blanket and he gave you the one he was wearing and soon realized it was probably the only one you’ve seen him wear ever. Noticing Kie always brought her own blanket you assumed they were more supplied for the warmer days. John B was a big boy he would ask for help when he needed it JJ, on the other hand, was stubborn as hell and would rather freeze then ask for anything to help. 
“Okay” JJ says questionably not believing you entirely but not questioning it further “Are you staying tonight?” He asks you can see a glimmer of hope in his ocean eyes as he leans against the car door
“Yeah I think so” you smile and nod at him closing the car up “Are you?”
“No I’m just asking you so you can share my bed with Kie” he deadpans and your cheeks flush 
“Sorry” you squint up at him and you see him smile his “sharky smile” “Are Pope and Kie staying too?” 
“I think so” he nods at you biting his lip and you know he wants to add something but doesn’t
“Can I share a bed with you?” You ask assuming that’s what he wanted to ask “if I have to share a room with both Pope and Kie I might jump off the end of the dock, plus I got those joints still and extra snacks” you chuckle out trying to bribe him like you even have to. You see relief and a cute smile grace his features and you know that’s what he was trying to ask without even asking 
“Yeah you can crash with me, I like you the most anyways” he winks at you and nods towards the house “Have you eaten yet?” He asks you softly as you walk up the driveway “Pope and John B went to help Heyward earlier while I went to work and apparently they ate already” JJ trails off and you frown knowing there hasn’t been food at the chateau in a couple of days and John B has been incognito
“I can make us food,” you say and he perks up “I haven’t eaten yet” you continue which is a lie but he doesn’t need to know that “I bought stuff to make that shrimp thing you were talking about the other day” and you see his face light up as you walk into the house you smile at him and you can see pink dust his cheeks at the fact you remembered that small detail. He puts the blankets down taking the ones in your hands as well and wraps you in a hug carrying you to the kitchen leaving you in a fit of laughter. You see Pope peek his head out over the freezer with raised eyebrows 
“What are you doing,” he asks confused as to why you’re wrapped in JJs arms 
“Get out Pope y/n is making our food” he throws a look at Pope as he sets you down making Pope return a hurt one 
“You guys suck” he huffs out going back into the living room 
JJ sits on the counter as you start to pull out ingredients to make his food, John B put the groceries away thankfully and you hum to a random tune 
“Thank you” JJ lets out in almost a whisper and you look up at him and see he’s playing with the rings on his fingers a nervous habit he has while looking at his lap not making eye contact 
“For what” you feign innocence even though his small thank you made your heart flutter knowing your efforts and little signs of affection didn’t go unnoticed by the blonde boy. Moving to the stove to heat it up JJ finally looks at you and he shrugs his shoulders softly before twiddling his thumbs in his lap
“For taking the time to care about me” he shrugs again like he’s not worth the effort, you go to say something and he cuts you off looking at you with his ocean eyes making you forget how to breathe for a second, sincerity is swimming through them and you can’t help the butterflies in your stomach “I know you had dinner with Kie already. She told me you guys were gonna eat at The Wreck during her break if I wanted to pass by before you went to run errands which I’m assuming was getting food for here” your face flushes at being caught lying about dinner “I also saw the first aid kit you bought, and Its a nice one. I almost stole one just like it from the pharmacy a while back and I know John B doesn’t need one that good” he goes back to looking at his thumbs “And I know the blankets aren’t just for the movie night” He shoots you a knowing look causing you to blush and smile at him, taking a moment in the comforting silence you assume the boys are outside messing around 
Humming you smile giddily not confirming or denying “Okay I’m gonna make you food now go away” you joke shooing him out of the kitchen 
He gasps in shock “You wound me” he clutches his chest with both his hands and falls back against the cabinets “Treating me how I treat Pope now that’s cold” He gets off of the counter still clutching his chest moving closer towards you 
“Leave” you squeal at him as he traps you in between his arms and the sink, he leans in and you think he’s going to finally kiss you, heart beating so fast you think he could hear it if he got any closer. His eyes flicker to your lips and back to your eyes as he licks his lips your breath hitches in your throat, he leans down to place a kiss on your cheek leaving the kitchen and going outside. Watching him retreat you finally let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding in. “Jesus Christ” you huff and go back to making his food with a big smile on your face 
____
“Holy shit” JJ practically moans at the smell coming in from the kitchen “I can’t even think of the last home cooked meal I’ve had what about you John B” You hear JJ ask as him as they walk back into the Chateau,
“Uh I think-” John B starts but is cut off by JJ 
“That was rhetorical bro shut up” you hear them walk into the living room and see them come into the kitchen “we know you have a secret kook family chill” JJ lets out referring to the fact that John B disappears some nights and during the day and no one knows why. Causing a laugh to come from you and a scoff from John B
“That smells delicious y/n” John B lets out which earns a mean look from JJ 
“You can’t have any” JJ says defensively “she made it for me and her you guys are all traitors eating without us” JJ winks at you “what happened to Pogues together for life” JJ adds pointing a finger at John B as you try to stifle a laugh grabbing plates 
John B looks at JJ with the most unamused look you’ve ever seen which causes a burst of laughter from you. Catching John B’s attention he gives you a look as if asking if JJ is serious, you shrug your shoulders as John B scoffs “I welcome you into my home JJ and this is how you repay me” He tsks opening a beer for you and placing it on the counter by your plates, he gives you a side hug and places a kiss on your forehead before retreating outside to help Pope and Kie with a projector she found in her garage. As he walks through the living room you hear “Eat your food dumbass, and if you don’t marry her I will” John B shouts out and you immediately turn to look at John B who has his beer raised in the air “Salud” and he walks out of the Cheateu. 
Turning to JJ his face is beat red and you let out a small laugh as JJ groans mumbling something about murdering John B “Here eat tough guy I’m gonna grab blankets for outside” you say as you place a plate in front of JJ. You’re about to walk into John B’s room when you feel JJ grab your hand 
“Stay please” he lets out a smile while tugging on your wrist gently patting the spot next to him, you can tell he wants to say something again but you can’t tell what its gonna be because he’s looking down at his plate of food. Your foot starts tapping the floor a nervous tick you have when you can’t tell how something is gonna play out. His head snaps to your knee placing his hand there gently to stop it and he looks up at you “Don’t do that, not around me” he lets out looking at you 
“wha-”
“You do that when your nervous or unsure of a situation” he squeezes your knee in a comforting motion giving you a small smile at your confused expression, “You think you’re the only one who notices things around here” he shoots you a look and his eyes go wide trying to cover up his confession with a chuckle 
“Do you JJ Maybank have feelings for little old me” you shoot him an amused look with a gasp. He opens his mouth to say something but nothing comes out and he looks at you sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck while pink tints his cheeks 
“Hey, Lovebirds we got the movie set up come on” you hear John B yell from outside. You move to get up and JJ stops you looking up at you with a look of concentration before he exhales
“I like you y/n a lot actually and it’s scaring me. I’m not gonna lie to you. I’m not used to this or feeling wanted, hell even wanting to be around one person constantly is new for me. You are this incredible person who came out of fucking nowhere and the first thing you did was make sure everyone is taken care of. I didn’t even notice what you would do for me at first because I was so angry at everything. John B pointed it out to me when we found more of my favorite snacks in the cupboard than his” he let out a chuckle and you did too “He told me to stop being stupid and I realized then all the small things you would do for me like when I wouldn’t eat with you guys you brought food, or extra snacks on boat trips when you knew I was going home after, you and Kie would go shopping and you literally got me a hoodie because you told me it reminded you of me. No one has cared about me in the way you have and I’m so sorry for not realizing it sooner” you squeeze his hand gently reassuring him noticing his voice waiver “you’re so strong and stubborn but god if it didn’t make me fall for you harder, and I wasn’t gonna say anything because there is no way in hell that I’m good enough for you, I mean seriously I don’t know what you see-” cutting him off you place a kiss to his lips to shut him up, he places his hand on the side of your neck holding your jaw melting into the kiss. This is what heaven feels like you think. This blonde haired blue eyed prince. JJ breaks apart and rests his forehead against yours smiling like an idiot 
“I like you a lot actually too, if you couldn’t tell” you whisper out causing him to let out a laugh placing a chaste kiss to your lips, pulling you into his lap, your back to his chest as he nuzzles into the crook of your neck before you move to face him “Oh” you let out and he looks confused, you shoot him a look and he smirks. Hitting his chest playfully “get your head out of the gutter” 
“I know exactly where I would like my head to be” he smirks placing a kiss to your pulse. Rolling your eyes at him you start off “If I hear you talk bad about yourself I will fight you Maybank do you hear me” you look at him knowingly and he raised his eyebrows as if telling you to proceed “That is a fight you will lose every time. I can promise you,” you look at him softly “you deserve the world and all the love that comes with it, you care so much about your friends you’re willing to do anything to protect them literally anything” emphasizing the literally he lets out a chuckle “You are so kind, generous always giving even when you don’t have much yourself that’s what I love about you. There is more good than what you define yourself as and if you have doubts I will be more than glad to fight them with you” you let out rubbing your thumb on his cheek which he nuzzles into until he crashes his lips into yours again. 
“I thought you were eating, you haven’t even started are you kidding? YOU GUYS ARE MACKING we’ve been waiting for like 10 minutes” John B lets out from the doorway of the house raising his arms in a what the fuck motion, causing you both to laugh “J I’m proud of you for finally telling her, but Jesus come on guys the foods all cold, we don’t even have snacks because you’re distracting y/n, we’re dying out here” he fake whines 
“Sorry John B” you let out a smile knowing you usually prepare the snacks for movie nights but got distracted
“My girlfriend is not your Slave John B get your own snacks” JJ jokes holding onto you tighter
“Says the guy she made dinner for but hasn’t even touched it yet!” John B says dramatically “honestly the disrespect happening in this house, everything is all out of wack,” John B says going to the fridge and grabbing a case of beer and candy making his way back outside before he turns around heading back to you and JJ “Actually,” he says out loud before taking JJ’s plate with food taking a bite and moaning at the taste John B continues “I’m serious y/n if he doesn’t marry you I will” he gets out with a mouth full of food, moving slightly to avoid JJ arms that are trying to swat him for taking his food. John B walks out of the house leaving you two alone again 
“I’ll get you another plate, grab the blankets?” you ask chuckling as you move to get JJ another plate of food but he stops you. 
Taking his pinky ring off his finger he places it on your fingers trying to find the best fit, finally, it fits on your middle finger, a little loose but not by much, he chuckles “maybe I’ll get you a chain for it” he states chuckling he kisses your knuckles when he’s done “Not an engagement ring but a temporary promise ring until we get you a real one so John B can stop trying to steal you from me.”
“I think its perfect” He smiles bright placing a kiss on your lips and you know that this is exactly where you’re supposed to be
________
A/N: so I wrote another jj thing bc who is not a whore for jj especially soft jj. Roughly edited but not really, this has been floating in my head for a while so feedback and commentary is again always welcome my inbox is always open I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did Xx 
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cupidlakes · 4 years ago
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in response to your “anyone wanna discuss why he called it dreams hoodie” you can tell me if I’m reaching, but he pauses between saying “dreams” and “hoodie” and it lowkey looked/sounded like he almost made a C sound after “Dreams”? so my theory is he was going to say Dreams cologne, realized that was probably saying a bit too much, and corrected it to Dreams hoodie. but that’s just what i think, I’m unsure if other people also think there was a weird stop between “Dreams” and “hoodie” or if im just brainrotting and looking too much into it. (it is plausible he knows what cologne Dream uses bc of the “Patches what does Dream smell like” tweet, bc Dream could have told him after!)
i feel like that’s looking too much into it i’m rewatching the clip and i definitely don’t hear him say anything like that, there’s a pause sure but thats normal i think :) not to bash what you’re saying! but sometimes i feel like we tend to look a little too much into things and i personally still wanna be fairly levelheaded about this stuff
however, i am thinking about his actual behaviour in the stream especially the beginning and his reaction to the chat because i don’t think there’s any logical explanation for george being so distracted by everyone picking up on the fact he’s wearing the hoodie and him displaying all these nervous tells (hands on cheeks, giggling outbursts, arms inside and kept to himself, rocking back and forth, blushing and smiling a lot/holding back smiles all in the span of less than a minute or so) because of it
him not being able to contain himself at all and seeming so affected is what was so...eye opening to me
it’s like you’d think he’s actually doing something bad? or spicy?? (for lack of a better word) to where he it would make sense he’d be that hyper-aware
when it literally is just an oversized hoodie that he could’ve bought 1) because he’s been wanting one for himself for a while now, 2) he’d be supporting his best friend in it at the same time and also 3) he just likes oversized clothing?
so nothing objectively weird shippy or suggestive at all?
of course the fans were always gonna get all “omg!! dreams hoodie” over it but it’s really nothing unexpected or anything that george wouldn’t be used to
and again! it’s a totally justifiable thing for him to buy and wear
which is what makes his reaction so interesting and almost barely understandable to me
“okay...i’m getting distracted, i’m getting distracted”
...unless there’s more to it
(ao3 much btw? /lh)
this might be just me but i have a feeling this hoodie and the imagined ‘implications’ of it (borrowed boyfriend hoodie) were already on his mind a lot to where he got genuinely flustered and caught off guard over it being brought up live
not to mention that time dream brought up his joke plan (that he never followed through with) in the trident stream and with it now being two for two it’s starting to seem like something he unironically thinks about
some food for thought too, would george react the same if he was wearing literally anyone else’s merch on stream? would he be that giggly and distracted, eyes trained on chat the whole time?
and this is reachy for sure i know there could be a million reasons he initially didn’t want the pictures out there but it’s still worth noting, do you think with the idea that george thinks something of this hoodie something more intimate and personal, that thats why he might’ve been embarassed about dream posting the pictures?
i’ll also just link my post here about george calling it dreams hoodie when he talks about spraying it with cologne i don’t think i have anything else to say about that generally
i think the actual act of him spraying cologne on it could more have to do with him just wanting to feel nice in it and might be an act of him taking care of his stuff (initially mentioned by cts4shimi and i totally agree seeing it platonically like that) maybe even taking care of something he has a new attachment to which is again totally understandable and sweet but i understand everyone going crazy over the idea of him wanting it to smell like a certain someone even though that would be PEAK fanfiction behaviour (and i say this lightheartedly)
lastly i need to end this saying it’s totally possible george was just in a particularly easily embarassment/flustered mood i’m just saying it’s behaviour we haven’t seen from him in a while and even as a george liker (tm) yesterdays moments and his overall demeanour was just especially notable to me that’s all
he seems really happy rn both generally and (from what we’ve seen) with his relationship with dream and at the end of the day that’s all that matters :) i’m genuinely glad he’s been so comfortable lately with the joke flirting and being so open and just himself with us i truly truly am and i love to see it
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violetnotez · 5 years ago
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HC: Y/N Wears a Revealing Version of their S/O’s hero suit
God it’s been so long since I’ve done headcannons, I miss them so much! These I’m going to keep tame, cause I don’t want them to be toooo spicy!
Also, I didnt iclude Shindo and Shinso, sorry! I realized rather quickly how long these got and didnt want to bog down this post, hope thats okay!
Pairings: Mirio x reader, Tamaki x reader, Bakugo x reader, Kaminari x reader (all characters aged to 18+)
。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆ 。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆ 。・:*:・゚
Mirio
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It would be a disgrace if I didn’t use this pic
So you had been invited to a photo shoot for a pretty high end boutique to be one of the models
Were you stoked that this extremely prestigious brand wanted you on their front cover? Yes. Were you terrified as hell? Also a fat yes.
Mirio, being the adorable boyfriend he is, was hyping you up for it
“Your going to be amazing sunshine! Ya never know until you try, ya know?”
Even with him being your support, you still felt extremely self conscious
“I don’t know...I’m not a model, I don’t think I can do it-“
“Don’t talk so negatively like that babe! What if I came with you, would that calm your nerves some?”
Your practically melted into him, giving him the biggest hug everrrr
“Oh my god would you? That would make me feel so much better-“
“Of course babe! Wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it!”
So the day of, you came into the photo shoot fresh faced and pale as hell from nerves
They seperated you from Mirio, taking you to the makeup area and clothing area
You entered a room lined with extremely bright makeup stands and racks of clothing, your area in a small corner to the right with a mannequin wearing a certain set of clothes
You finally realized what you were actually modeling-and your mouth dropped
No wonder the asked you to model, being Mirio’s girlfriend-it was a sexy version of his hero suit
It was a skin tight leotard, the number “1000000” scrawled against your chest, a thick red cape draping against the back
Lemon colored glasses and thigh high blue boots completed the look, a huge gulp reverberating from your throat-
How the hell were you going to pull this off? In front of your boyfriend no less-
You pain stakingly got your makeup done and your hair, your strands pooled up like Mirio’s hair in the front and the rest cascading in bed head curls
You finally got the skin tight costume on, looking at yourself in the mirror-you felt nervous but-strangely calm-you didn’t look half bad, actually
A small smile graced your face as you walked out, your heels clicking against the floors as you walked into the photo shoot room
Now the question was where was your-
“Hey sunshine! Whoa, that get up looks great, looks pretty similar to something I wear dontcha think?” He was totally teasing you, his tone playful as he leaned into your blushing face
Suddenly your bravery was gone and you were a nervous wreck-your boyfriend was looking at you with hungry eyes, his orbs gazing over every exposed curve
“Mirio, you don’t have to look at me like that-“ you whined, feeling your cheeks burn bright red
“But I want to look at you like this babe,” he smiled, his voice dropping as he licked his lips- “you look absolutely delicious dressed up like that.”
Tamaki
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“Oh cmon Tamaki, please come with us!” You pleaded with your nervous boyfriend, his brows furrowed in fear
It was the middle of October, and you and Neijire were planning to go to an early Halloween party in the middle of town
“I-I wish I could go bunny, I really do, it’s just-“
Tamaki was fiddling with is hands, his inky black hair cascading over his distraught face
He would love to go with you, but the thought of people, and dancing, and dressing up, and oh god what if they made fun of his costume-
You placed a kiss on your boyfriend’s cheek, sending him a reassuring smile
“No worries, Tama, I get it-just stay home and chill, I’ll make sure to come home a little early,”
“Oh-okay,” he obliged, watching you go into the bathroom to get ready
Tanaka decided to do exactly what you asked him to do-he watched some TV, ate some food, anything to calm his nerves as you got ready
After an hour or so, you emerged from the bathroom, walking into the kitchen in your full get up
Your hair was straight, see through yellow glasses covering your eyes. You wore a black leotard, the fabric hugging your curves as a beige cape draped around your thighs. Two purple belt laid against your hips, drawing attention to your plush thighs as your boots clicked around the apartment
Poor Tamaki practically choked on his cereal when you walked in-when you said you were wearing a costume, you didn’t tell him it was his hero suit!
Tamaki walked over a blush erupting over his face, “Y-y/n? W-what are you-wearing?”
You spin around, guilt pooling in your stomach as your eyes met your boyfriends flustered gaze
“I’m sorry Tamaki I should have told you! The party is “hero” themed, so I thought the best suit to wear was yours-do you...want me to take it off?”
Tamaki vigorously shook his head, his cheeks a fiery red
“N-no! Please don’t! Honestly, that’s the last thing I want...” he stuttered his shaking hands resting on your hips and pulling you gently to his chest
You had never seen Tamaki so bold-your eyes widened, your hands placed against his chest
“-but I don’t think you should go to that party tonight”
Bakugo
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You ran over to Bakugo, your phone screen containing a pic of a cosplayer dressed up in full Bakugo hero suit, gauntlets and all
You legit shoved it into your boyfriends face, your face beaming- “look how cool this costume is!”
“Tch-Only I can wear my hero suit as well as me,” Bakugo scoffed, going back to eating his ramen
You looked at him distraught and disbelief- “Cmon, Bakugo, you had to admit it’s pretty cool-“
“Cool? He’s a fucking wierd ass nerd, making my hero suit...” Bakugo said under his breath, his eyes now glaring at his phone screen
You placed your hands on your hips- “So if I wore your hero suit, I would be ‘wierd ass nerd’?”
Bakugo chuckled harshly- “Yeah-but you couldn’t wear it, like I said, I’m the only one who can pull it off-“
Ha-if that fucker wanted to play, then you were here to win
You slammed your hands down on the table, your arms encasing a surprised Bakugo in between your arms
You gave him a wicked grin, making Bakugo’s crimson eyes wide with surprise-“Bet bitch.”
Y’all are so mean to each other 😳
You stomped out of the room, your mind now reeling-you had ZERO idea how to make his costume...
You quickly made a call to Mina and Momo, telling them about your predicament-Mina would help you design, and Momo would help make the materials
Both were extremely open to helping you, especially Mina-any attempt to destroy Bakugo’s overly high ego, she was down to do!
But she had a twist to your intial plan- “what if you did a sexy version of him! That’d show him!”
You weren’t exactly sure how that would do anything, but eh why not-if you could make him even more mad, this was the way to do it
Momo was hesitant to make such a lewd outfit, but you quickly reminded her of her revealing hero outfit
-she quickly agreed after that
Mina designed the “suit”-honestly it was just a bra with two orange X’s, bootie shorts with a grenade belt, and green ribbon connecting to the black thigh high boots
You complained to Mina about how uncomfortable the high heel was, which she responded with “Beauty is pain!”
You fought the urge to roll your eyes
How would Bakugo’s suit be complete without the gauntlets! You three had the hardest time with that-deifnitely spent a whole day watching 3 hours worth of cosplay tutorials to make those damn things
But after many hours of snacking, hot glue guns, and screams of annoyance, you three FINALLY had the costume finished-and you couldn’t be happier! It honestly made you feel so cool and powerful...especially those gauntlets-
no wonder why he wore the clunky things, they honestly were fun to wear
You decided to wear the outfit before Bakugo came home one day, your face smug as you waited for him to enter your shared apartment
You finally heard the click of the door, Bakugo wearing his usual baggy pants and shirt he wore when he came home, his shoulder holding his duffel bag full of things
“-Hey”, he welcomed you gruffily, not even noticing your attire
“Hey yourself-“ you replied, a shit eating grin on your face as you walked over to him.
He still wasn’t looking, too busy rummaging through his bag- “Am I still a wierd ass nerd?”
Bakugo looked up, and holy shit was he in for a sight
When you said you would make his hero suit, he didn’t take it that seriosuly- you? Make his suit? Psh like that’d happen
BUT IT HAPPENED
You looked-really good in it too-he deifnitely was appreciating the extra skin that was involved 😳
You smirked at his obvious surprise, his cheeks a fiery red as you did a small spin in the suit- “How does it look?”
Suddenly you felt pressure against your wrists from Bakugo’s hands, your back now against the wall as Bakugo drank you in with his piercing red eyes
Now it was your turn to be surprised-cause crap you didn’t expect that to happen
He was now in control of the situation and he knew it-he gave you a shit eating grin, making your blood feel incredibly warm
“-it looks decent...but I think it would be better on the floor”
Kaminari
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“Mina no, I’m not-“
You were in shock, flabbergasted, confused-when did they have a intimates based off of hero suits?
AND WHY THE HELL DID THEY HAVE YOUR BOYFRIENDS SUIT
“MINA YES!” she squealed, giggling as she pulled your size out of the rack
The little outfit was pretty revealing- all it was was a white lacy bralette, with a short black jacket with white lighnting bolt decal and a short black leather skirt to match
It was honestly not your thing-it also just felt wierd to wear something like this-
“Your buying it and that’s that-you needed neccesities and this-“ she shook the outfit in your face, “is a necessity!”
The girl seriosuly shouldn’t be allowed to spend money-she stuffed the outfit in her full bag of clothes, bouncing over to the register as you followed her from behind
“I needed bras Mina, not lingerie!”
Yeah she didn’t listen
You finally got home, trying on your new outfits from your shopping spree when you fell upon the set shoved in your shopping bag
The little pink sneak
You pulled it out-it wouldn’t hurt to try it on, she did buy it for you...
You quickly got into it, admiring your body in the mirror-it was tight alright, but kinda cute in ...the skirt accentuated your legs, the bra was decently comfy, and the jacket pulled the whole thing together and made it a pretty cool yet revealing outfit
Just as you were testing out how much movement you had in the leather jacket,you heard the door open to the bedroom you and your boyfriend shared
“Hey babe, do we have any more toilet-“ Kamianri waltzed in, unknowingly oblivious to the scene before him, until he laid eyes on you
You never thought you saw the man blush harder-his eyes were wide with shock, his cheeks a hot shade of red as sparks of electricity flashed around his body
He obviously didn’t know how to react, and in his flusteredness, he somehow slipped on the floor, landing with a hard thud
“Denki!” You yelled out, scrambling to your ditzy boyfriend, “you okay?”
Kaminari gazed up at you, and holy crap he felt blessed- he had a full view of your exposed cleavage, a grin growing on his face as blood tricked down from his nose
“Oh no, Kami, you got a bloody nose-“ you scrambled to get him a towel, kneeling down to place it against his nose
He quickly swiped the blood away, his hands instead pinning yours against your back
“-Dont worry about that,” he grinned, his eyes a dangerous shade of yellow, “let’s worry about you babygirl...and where you got that little get up,”
。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆ 。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆ 。・:*:・゚
Taggings:
@weebartistinc​ @orokayagi​ @leeeah-loooser​ @bakarinnie​ @johnnysactualgf​
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httpbread · 4 years ago
Note
hiii! didn't see if there was a character limit per rq, so if there is n i am breaking it just ignore me jabksbcjdj could u donthe general dating hcs for yumeko, mary and ririka too? thanks!
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pairing: mary x reader, yumeko x reader
character limit has never crossed my mind until now lmao,,, also sorry i decided not to do ririka :( i love her i’m just not as familiar with her character so i dont think i could do her justice,, hope thats okay!!
-
Mary
- Mary avidly denies liking PDA but is almost always holding your hand. Whether she’s dragging you somehow, holding your hand under the table while she gambles with you next to her, or just trying to get your attention.
- for the most part, she’s a very confident girlfriend. She likes to take the lead and make you flustered and think she has you wrapped around her finger.
- until you compliment her. Or kiss her. Or hug her.
- Mary practically melts into a heap of embarrassment, mostly because she really enjoys it
- she never really pictured herself in a relationship especially not after the student council’s attempt to marry her off
- that is, until she met you, of course.
- she’s still trying to get the hang of the whole relationship thing though so you’ll definitely have to help her sometimes
- part of her wants to keep your relationship very private and never speak a word of it to the world
- and the other half wants to wrap an arm around your waist and yell at anyone who even glances at you that you’re hers
- not really in a possessive sort of way but more in a proud way
- she’s still shocked you said yes in the first place of course she’s proud to have you by her side!
- but sometimes she does dearly want to protect you from the world, and more importantly the school around you
- she’s terrified that one day the student council will target you and she won’t be able to win and has even debated on breaking up with you a few times just to keep you safe
- but when you wish her luck before a gamble...
- Mary really feels like she can win anything
- even though she’s scared to lose you, when you sit by her during a match she feels like she’s invincible. Especially when you take her hand discreetly under the table.
- Ironically, you’re like her good luck charm
- whenever you stay after school to watch her gamble, Mary always ALWAYS walks you home.
- she loves when you take her hand and swing it between the two of you sort of childishly as you walk along, talking about whatever had happened in the day and what you planned to do
- Mary never was one for small talk but she realizes she could listen to you talk for hours
- sometimes when you’re complaining about something she’ll get really into it and get feisty. sometimes even more than you. "I’ll go up there right now, dammit. Don’t you worry. I’ll make sure they never give you a problem again." "Mary no-"
- Mary discovers with you that she really loves sleepovers.
- there’s something about eating snacks and snuggling all night with you under too many covers that’s so relaxing to her. She doesn’t have to be big and bold. She doesn’t have to win or compete.
- with you, she can throw a piece of popcorn at your face and win at life watching you laugh or listen to you whine making her laugh
- she also, shockingly, really likes sleepovers on school nights
- that way she can play with your hair in the morning and get ready with you
- she loves walking you home from school but seeing you sleepy and sort of stumbling next to her really warms her heart. She thinks it’s funny to subtly bump shoulders with you as you trudge along. Plus the sunrise and the morning air is really nice, especially next to you.
- Yumeko sniffs out your relationship only on the second day you guys were official
- she’s delighted but Mary is dismayed
- Yumeko has claimed the title as her ‘wingman’ and now will often give her relationship advice and use you to tease her
- sometimes the advice is actually useful though... and it’s not the worst to see you making more friends... and getting along with her friends...
- but still. She tries to tell you Yumeko is nuts and you should keep away from her. It doesn’t work, but it’s worth a shot.
- Mary isn’t big on fancy dates. She’s more into casual stuff like eating together at the nearest shitty fast food joint. Mary would actually probably consider walking you home a date, unfortunately. But if it means spending time with you and making you happy, she’ll put in the effort to plan something a little more romantic every once in a while.
- this is really when Yumeko’s advice helps her out
- despite being kind of clumsy when it comes to romance and usual dating etiquette Mary does her best and she loves you very much
- she’s definitely always there to support you in everything you do and actively tries to be involved in your hobbies and see what you’re up to
- she’s also always there to stand up for you when others try and give you shit. You might have to drag her away because she has a tendency to get into full-blown arguments over even the slightest dirty look your way.
- Mary is doing her best.
Yumeko
- really hope you like gambling
- because her absolute FAVORITE thing to do is gamble with you
- would she use you as a bet?
- oh absolutely. no hesitation. but only when she knows exactly that she’ll win
- she thinks it’s cute if you get all nervous and even hotter if you’re confident in your gambling skills
- she’s actually a little sour when you can’t make it to one of her matches. not towards you but towards everyone who isn’t you.
- Yumeko is a freak for PDA tbh
- ALWAYS has her arms wrapped around you in one way or another. She feels like a snake trying to strangle you sometimes. she means well she just loves to love on you 
- could not give any less of a shit who sees. Will blatantly ignore anyone and everyone because you are her partner and she loves you very much.
- she’s a very enthusiastic girlfriend.
- always trying to do wild things to spice up your relationship. would absolutely suggest things like skydiving as a casual date. it’d be like a back and forth debate to finally get to a more calm medium date like a fancy restaurant or something.
- Yumeko doesn’t actually mind where you two go, she just likes to mess with you sometimes. She keeps you on your toes.
- not only is she super PDA friendly she flirts shamelessly with you all the time. She loves watching your reactions. 
- she also really loves to have you sit in her lap while she gambles. no matter how long the match is. 
- Yumeko likes to bring you to the mall to go shopping. Sometimes she tries to be sly and buy you things without you noticing but Yumeko has never been subtle a day in her life when it came to you.
- but also after a long day in the mall she always buys you ice cream and sits on the edge of the water fountain. It becomes a tradition to make a wish, even though it feels a little silly.
- Yumeko wouldn’t really go out of her way to keep you away from the student council but she would get heated fairly quickly if one of them tried to challenge you. She takes your place every single time and it is never followed by a pleasant atmosphere in-game.
- after something like that she definitely takes you to do something off-campus if not just straight to her house to just snuggle and take a nap
- Yumeko thrives off praise from you. She loves when you fawn over her with compliments and congratulations when she wins a match. She can’t stop beaming when you kiss her cheek and tell her she’s amazing.
- she definitely praises you a lot though. She thinks you’re the most interesting person she has ever met so of course, she thinks the world of you, and she is NOT afraid to show it.
- Yumeko loves you and she’ll be damned if you and everyone and their mother doesn’t know it.
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i-simp-for-gintoki · 4 years ago
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Visiting Yuji in Tokyo
“yuji x reader where she was childhood friends with yuji and its basically the friends to lover sort of thing? and basically reader is visiting tokyo and meets up with yuji for the first time in months?? bonus if gojo and megumi are there :)”-anon
Damn its either super short or long no inbetween huh? Sorry if this isn’t exactly what you wanted! Some of the characters are little ooc (when are they not when i write them-).This turned out much much longer than it needed to be
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You and Yuji have known each other since kindergarten
He’s such a sweet kid its always really fun to hang out with him
You guys play lots of video games together and are basically inseparable
Constantly reading manga or watching anime its great
Your parents disapproved of you hanging out with a dude all the time but you could care less
Why should you only be friends with your own gender? Thats so stupid
You always wondered about why yuji had such great strength and speed but he says he was just born that way
Hes just built different
Around middle school his grandpa’s health had dropped and was moved to the hospital
You did your best to make sure yuji stayed in good spirits and often visited the older itadori with him
He’s not the best at wording things but hes always there for emotional support
Maybe it was around 7th grade you noticed something was different around yuji
Like he himself hasn’t changed but whenever you look at him your heart just melts
Your thoughts or compliments seem more filled with love for him and thats when you realized you started to fall for him
Thinking the crush would go away you didn’t act much on it
Oh what a fool you were
Around 8th grade yuji had started acting kinda weird around you
He’d be much more easy to fluster and tenses up for a second if you ever make contact
You confronted him about it and cue the very awkward and middle school like confession
“I really like you!
You were so happy you confessed back and said that the only reason you didn’t before was because you feared to ruin your friendship
He says even if he somehow didn’t like you back that something like that wouldn’t effect anything
From then on you guys are such a wholesome couple
All the cuddles
No fancy dates just casual arcade or movie sort of things
His grandpa gave him a hard time but approved of your relationship
Throughout 8th grade summer and the beginning of highschool everything was going great
But a few months into highschool lots of things happened
Yuji’s grandpa had passed away, he and his friends in the exorcist(?) club had gotten hurt and after that night he had weird markings on his cheeks right below his eyes
And to top it all off now he was supposedly moving to tokyo??
“Yuji why are you moving away? My parents would gladly take you in you know”
He tells you he can’t explain why which breaks your heart
“Who are you staying with then??” he stops for a second and it pains him to lie to you. “A distant relative of mine, he works at a private school and thats where i will be going from now on.”
“But what about us?”
And so you guys decided to do a long distance relationship
Every night when you can you call and chat for hours
But thats not enough
You want to be held or hold him, you want to just cuddle or atleast be in the same room
It pains you to have a relationship through a screen and you grow respect for those who do
Trust isn’t an issue since you know yuji wouldnt even think to cheat at all
Probably doesnt even know what the word means
But after a few months you decide to go to tokyo for a few days
With the help of your parents you rent a room in a hotel and head there
Were just gonna pretend your parents are super super chill(and slightly uncaring like my parents would never let me) and lets you go to a whole city by yourself for several nights
You were super nervous and excited
Its your first time visiting a huge city like tokyo and its gonna be the first time you see yuji in months
Itadori was super excited that you were in tokyo
So excited that he got lost trying to head to the hotel you were staying at
After an extra hour you guys finally meet
He walks through the hotel lobby doors and gives a smile and a wave
In an instant you tackle him in a hug which he GLADLY hugs back in
After just holding each other for a while he decides to show you around
Hes still clearly learning the area himself but he’s very excited to show what he does know
“The place over here makes amazing sushi! Oh! And over here they sell little action figures! Oh oh and over here the steak is kinda bad but its cheap so its worth it! And-” you could only smile as he pointed in random directions with one hand, the other was busy holding yours
Buying food from a bunch of random vendors and wearing silly getups you guys take loads of pictures
Tons of hugs and cheek kisses
Yes its frowned upon to be touchy and stuff in public in japan but honestly you guys could care less
The sun was setting and you guys were currently sitting at a park munchkin on some crepes when you turn to him
“Yuji, do you think i could visit who your staying with? I’d hate to impose but i just wanna know if your in good hands”
His chewing pauses
Its not like he didn’t want you tell about jujutsu
But he doesn’t want you to be apart of that world, he wants you to stay as safe as possible with no harm ever headed your ways
With him being a vessel for sukuna gojo had told him that he and his friends could potentially be targeted
Theres a reason sorceres put up cloaks when engaging in battles and its so normal civilians can continue living in peace without the knowledge these monstrosities actually exist
“Mm its a bit sudden and he’s out on a mis-er meeting right now so maybe tomorrow?” he says
You frown, you can tell he’s lying but he wouldn’t do it without a reason
“Fine. But Yuji. Just know that if you ever feel unsafe or want to come back your more than welcome too. There will always be a spot for you at my home” you say hugging him
You both kinda forgot you were holding crepes and when you pulled away from each other laughed as the ice cream and sauce was smeared all over your shirts/jackets
He walks you back to the hotel and says goodnight with a kiss
The next two days went by in a flash
Just spending time with itadori, even if it was just sitting in silence has been the most fun youve had in months
He had showed you many places and has boughten many small trinkets for you to remember
Your phone has grown about 300 photos just from the past couple days with him
It was about midday of your final day in tokyo and so you both wanted to make the best of it
You both where sitting inside a cafe exchanging stories and just chatting when suddenly two people walked in the cafe
One was very tall and had spiked up white hair and was wearing a blindfold, and the other had spiky/messy black hair
You didn’t think much of it at first but did question the blindfold
‘A fashion choice?’
Turning your attention back to yuji you gave him a soft smile as you listened to his ramblings about a manga
“I love you” you said cutting him off
Immediately his face turned red and whatever he was just saying turned into stuttering nonsense
Before he could respond he let out a short yell when someone placed a hand on his shoulder
It was the two dudes who walked in from earlier
“So this is what you’ve been doing.” “Fushiguro! Gojo sensei!”
The shorter one who looks yuji’s age started talking about how it wasn’t good to turn his phone on mute and go out the whole day
The tall one gives you a wave
“Sorry to interrupt your date but we gotta take yuji away for a bit” he says grabbing yuji’s collar
“Wait who are you guys?” you ask and they pause to give short introductions
“Fushiguro Megumi.” “Gojo Satoru, nice to meet ya miss girlfriend” “How did you know??” Yuji says making gojo laugh
“Its pretty obvious, you didn’t do much of a job hiding it” he says pulling yuji a little bit more.
“O-Oh im L/n Y/n, nice to meet you” you say realizing you forgot to introduce yourself
As the three chatted along with each other, you sat in silence as you tried to remember where you heard gojo’s name from
‘Oh yeah, he’s the one who yuji described as his relative. Even if it was really fast since he tends to change subjects whenever i ask’
“Wait Gojo? White hair...blind fold..are you Yuji’s relative?” you ask making both of them pause
They both turn towards yuji who gave a sheepish smile
“Thats me, im his mothers little cousin” Gojo said, a very quick and random asspull
“So why does he call you Gojo-sensei instead of uncle…Satoru?” “Well if im his moms cousin that would make me his cousin once removed wouldn’t it? And he calls me sensei since im a teacher at a school he goes to”
“And what about you?” you ask the other boy
“A classmate.” he says in a very short and uninterested tone
“Welp lets go” Gojo says dragging yuji but he quickly resists
“Wait wait! Sensei can i please stay? Today is her last day here and i don’t know when i will be able to see her again”
The teacher and student stares at each other for a long time
You have literally no clue what the blindfolded man could but thinking its so hard to read him
Then again you just met him so
Gojo sighs and lets go of yuji
“Just this once, and only because im the greatest sensei you’ve ever had. Lets go megumi. See ya miss girlfriend” gojo says walking away with a wave
Megumi looks surprised but follows him “really?” “Yeah yeah its fine, its only a couple of grade 3’s anywa…” as their voices faded when they left the building you gave yuji a look
“Are you going to get in trouble?” “im probably going to die in training…” “huh?” “nothin”
The rest of the day you guys hang out and its mmm
Yuji would be such a good boyfriend hes so wholesome
When its time for you to part he give you a big hug, kiss and ‘i love you’
You do the same and tear up a bit
With one final photo you head back to your home town
You make it a mission to visit tokyo more often and yuji tries to visit you whenever he can from then on
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argumentl · 3 years ago
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The Freedom of Expression, radio version - Ep 65, Dec 2016 - Christmas, Controversial Fabreeze CM, Rocker Uchida Yūya.
Kaoru starts that by saying that its Christmas Eve today, but then corrects himself because as the show is always broadcast at 1am, its actually now Christmas day. Joe asks Kaoru how old he was before he stopped believing in Santa. This is actually a question that came via email last week, Joe had just forgotten to check it. Kaoru then repeats the question, 'Did you believe in Santa? If so, how long for?'. Kaoru thinks he probably believed in Santa until about 1st or 2nd grade of elementary school. The trigger for him no longer believing is when his parents took him to buy a Christmas present together 🤣. Joe asks what type of stuff he bought, and Kaoru replies that Doraemon was big when he was a kid, so he used to get Doraemon stuff, but also sometimes Ultraman stuff, or Robocon stuff. Joe then asks whether Dir en grey ever do Christmas events. Kaoru says they don't, neither have they every made a Christmas song. (*Imagine a Dir en grey xmas song!* 🤣)
Kaoru then reads out another email, this time from a woman who says she has recently fallen in love with a man who is super into heavy metal, and she has no idea what to talk about with him. She really wants to make him fall in love with her, so she asks Kaoru to play some heavy metal on the show that she can use, to impress the man she loves with her knowledge. Kaoru says that he himself doesn't know a lot about metal. He is not sure whether this is metal, but he decides to play one of his own songs - Tsumi to batsu.
After playing the record, Kaoru comes back on-air, saying he felt so nostalgic hearing the song, he started sweating. He then wishes the woman who sent the email well in her quest to snare her man.
Kaoru's first topic this week is about a controversial CM produced for the de-oderising product Fabreeze. The cm shows people smelling a dried, fermented fish product called Kusaya, while pulling faces, and saying it stinks. They then smell it again after using fabreeze to demonstrate how well the product eliminates bad smells. This cm has angered the residents on Hachjōjima, an island know for the production of Kusaya. The question has since arisen of whether its ok to use Kusaya as a symbol of stinky things. Kaoru and Joe are both quick to say that this food does smell bad, thats why its called 'Kusaya'(*in Japanese, stinky = kusai*). Joe says it can't really be helped if it has this kind of association, that is the identity it has. Kaoru says that it could alternatively be seen as good promotion. Joe agrees, and says there are probably a lot of young people who have never even heard of kusaya, so this might be a good chance for the makers of it to spread awareness of it. On top of this, says Kaoru, comedy shows have been know to quite often use kusaya as the typical stinky item, so he's not sure what difference this cm makes. Being stinky is its selling point. Joe says that in the current age, its so difficult to get people to take notice of things when so little info is provided. So even though this may be portrayed in a slighly negative light, the fact that it is actually getting public attention could be the starting point to revealing the true charm of kusaya to the public. This is a good chance for the people of Hachijōjima. Kaoru agrees. Kaoru thinks that commercials used to be a lot more offensive than they are now. Joe confirms that they were, and says that society used to also be much more tolerant of offensive material than it is now. Kaoru thinks the old way was more interesting. Joe continues to say that the world in general is becoming too intolerant. If anything is even a tiny bit wrong, people are so quick to go on the attack these days. He wants the world to be a bit more tolerant. One person's bad could be another person's good. Kaoru states that nowadays there is less and less for young people to aim for in terms of careers, as the world becomes more strict in its opinions. For example, in the Shōwa era becoming a teacher used to be thought of as a good job, but now becoming a teacher means having to face monster parents, so is much less appealing. Joe feels more tolerance is what the world needs.
Tasai joins them next, and Joe says he is glad its Tasai joining them on Christmas Eve, and not Hiranabe. Hiranabe would probably be full of filth. Tasai's news is about legendary rock star Uchida Yūya, then 77 years old. Tasai says that despite suffering a fall when he was recently in the UK, which resulted in him being unable to walk, Uchida (now back in Japan) has since attended a Roman Porno event. 35 years ago Uchida had starred in the Roman Porno movie 'Aaa onnatachi waika (嗚呼!おんなたち 猥歌). During the event he told a story about an actress on the movie whom he labelled 'useless' after she lost her temper. He apparently said, 'I shouldn't say who it was...but it was Takahata Atsuko'. Uchida's appearance at this event was supposed to be for a 30min talk session with director Yukisada Isao, but Yukisada only managed about 30 seconds worth, Uchida talked about his own things for the whole rest of the time. He ended the talk saying he wanted to go home, and the food there was disgusting.
They all think Uchida is pretty great. Tasai comments that Uchida's way of life is often described as 'rock', but what is the definition of 'rock', what does that even mean? Joe says he knows Uchida quite well, and there are plenty of things he can't repeat about him, but he tells a story from after the 3.11 disaster struck Tōhoku. The photographer Kurigami Kazumi had seen Uchida riding through Tōhoku on his bicycle then at over 70 years old. Kurigami had described this as 'rock'.
Joe says that Uchida is also responsible for discovering a lot of new musicians, and he was also know to many big overseas musicians, including Frank Zappa. Uchida said about himself, 'There is no one else who has contributed as much as I have the world of Japanese Rock, and has also made as little money as I have'. Kaoru says Dir en grey were once invited to Uchida's annual New Year event, but were unable to attend due to timing. They all say again that they think he is pretty cool. Joe says that Uchida did have a serialised column in Rolling Stone magazine, and for his first entry he wrote about getting arrested at Harajuku police station. Tasai thinks he would get on well with Kami.
Kaoru finishes by saying he's glad he got his new bgm finished before the show ends. He had promised to do it during the summer, but never did. He then plugs the aknot dvds, the Uroboros and Moab tours (including one date in Okinawa), tells listerners to look forward to the last episode of this radio show next week, and ends by saying 'Merry Christmas'.
Songs - Dir en grey/Tsumi to Batsu, Limp Bizkit/Nookie, Dir en grey/Ain't Afraid To Die.
To radio top
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rjhpandapaws · 4 years ago
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A Cup of Something Better
Ch7: When Stuck in One Place, Try Another
Hank was in a tight spot, his manuscript was late already, and it was only going to get later. Hank was out of ideas, well, kind of, distracted was probably a better word for it. Somehow he didn't think his editor would take the excuse of 'so I'm gonna need an extension on that deadline because I'm out of ideas, and also the time I could have spent writing I've spent thinking about a guy that I've seen like once,' all that well. Kaya was great, don't get him wrong, she put up with a lot of his bullshit, but even she had her limits. Hank being almost a month late with a manuscript was definitely one of them, that he unfortunately knew from experience. Best to get this over with. After his meeting with Kaya he was meeting Jeffrey for lunch, something they didn't do as often as they should.
Figuring he'd sat outside her home office long enough, Hank turned off his beat up old car and got out to head inside. The sooner he got this over with the better. She met him at the door, her red hair tied back in a bun, her green eyes were narrowed behind wide red framed glasses. He was definitely about to get an earful.
"You're late," she said in place of a greeting stepping aside to let him in, "but im beginning to notice thats the one garuntee with you."
"Good afternoon to you too Kaya," Hank remarked letting the tall redhead lead the way to her office.
She sat in her office chair and Hank took the couch. Kaya waited until he was seated before she spoke, "Please tell me you have something, even just a progress check. You're creeping up on a month and the company is starting to breathe down my back."
Hank cleared his throat rubbing at his beard, trying to find words that wouldn't get him flayed alive, "the college has been keeping me pretty busy, when I've had time to write I havent been able to get anything down. I was, um, I was wondering if I could get an extension or maybe a hiatus period. I honestly thought I'd be done by now, I'm sorry Kaya."
She sighed, an incredibly swdate response compared to the anger that was burning in her eyes, "an extension Hank? You come in here a month overdue with nothing to show for it and you have the nerve to ask for an extension! You never fail to amaze me. I'll see if I can get you marked as on hiatus. I'll cite your being a professor as my reasoning." Hank breathed a sigh of relief, though the feeling was short lived as Kaya continued, "If you do something like this again the company is going to drop you most likely."'
"Thanks Kaya." Hank responded, "I know I'm not the easiest to work with, but this shouldn't happen again."
She watched him stand with a distant expression, "you know what happens if it does."
He nodded as he made his way to the door, "Have a good day Kaya."
"You too Hank."
Hank figured this was a long time coming, but it was still a surprise to hear just how close he was to being dropped. Not that it wasn't deserved, only a few of his manuscripts had ever been on time. For a few months out of the year he could blame it on being a professor, but the main reason for it was just that his writing process was unstructured and slow.
He needed a pick me up if he was going to be dealing with Jeff as well as Kaya. He drove the familiar route toward the university, planning to stop by the cute cafe again. He parked and walked into the cafe, making his way to the counter with plans to try that same latte again with less espresso since he was feeling more human today. There was a different barista working the counter today, Josh, according to his nametag.
"Hey," Josh said with a charismatic smile, "welcome to Hand Brewed Hope, what can we get started for you?"
"I'll take a medium vanilla latte with two shots of espresso," he almost ordered something for Jeff but then thought better of it.
"Connor will have that down at the other counter for you when its done," Josh said handing the cup off to the other barista.
Hank followed the action with his eyes and then his brain froze. It was the barista from yesterday, he figured as much from the name, either the kid from his night class or his twin. He was just as struck by Connor this time as he had been before and it took all of his strength not to just stare. If anything he was more attractive now that Hank was awake enough to take in more than just his eyes.
Connor was tall, maybe a couple inches shorter than Hank. His brown hair was styled back neatly save for one errant curl that fell defiantly onto his forehead giving the look boyish charm. Hank caught himself staring and decided to make conversation.
"So, uh, Connor, was it?" Hank asked in the ineloquent way that seemed to be the usual of him when he was around the barista.
"Yes professor?" Came the almost immediate response and Hank needed a minute.
Hank stared again, trying to assess if he had in fact heard that correctly. Upon the realization that he he had, his stomach turned on itself. Nothing said dirty old man quite like crushing on one of your students.
"Well that answers that I suppose," Hank said, and hopefully he didn't sound like he was choking on his words.
Connor couldn't be more than in his early twenties at best, and Hank was turning thrity-nine come September. On top of being his professor, the age difference would make anyone uncomfortable. This crush needed to be tucked away, it couldn't become anything. He was pulled from his thoughts by the paper togo cup coming into his line of sight. He took it with a weak smile.
"Have a good day professor," Connor said kindly as he turned to leave.
"You too kid," he responded lifting the cup in place of a wave as he left the cafe like the devil was on his heels.
He could already hear Jeff giving him a hard time about falling for yet another pair of pretty brown eyes, as well as the following lecture about appropriate behavior. He rolled his eyes at his own thoughts and started his car heading to their usual place, a diner by the police station. He drank from the latte, deciding that two shots of espresso was ideal, the bitter perfectly balanced by the vanilla.
Hank arrived before Jeff as was usual and picked a table close to the door, somewhere easy to spot. Jeff arrived a few minutes later, sitting across from Hank. He eyed the coffee cup.
"Good to see you're as much of an asshole as I remember," Jeff joked in way of a greeting, "stopped for a fucking coffee and didn't even get me anything."
Hank laughed shaking his head, "I don't see you for six months and the first thing you do is bitch at me for not buying you a coffee. Some friend you are."
"How's the new book coming along?" He asked looking over the menu.
Hank winced, "I asked to be put on hiatus with my publisher because of got nothing in me right now."
Jeff gave him a sympathetic smile, "how's the university treating you then?"
"Good," Hank replied setting his own menu down having decided on a bacon burger, "night classes are pretty relaxed. How are things at the station?"
"Hectic." Came the reply as Jeff flagged for a waiter, "just got a bunch of new academy graduates and they all think they're hot shit."
"You know how it is, give them a few months and the gravity of the job will set in."
There was a lull in the conversation long enough for them to place their orders. Then the topic finally turned away from work. Though Hank didn't like the new topic that much better.
"So you seeing anyone Hank?" Jeff asked right as he was drinking from his latte. His choking must have marked him as guilty because Jeff continued with, "let me guess, brown eyes."
"Its complicated," Hank replied when he caught his breath, staring at the table as though it held the solution to all of his problems, "he's one of my students. I met him here though." He said tapping the paper cup, "he's a barista."
He could feel Jeff's eyes on him and he looked up. "You've got it bad, its written all over your face." Hank could feel the lecture coming, "you know you can't do anything right? At least not until the semester is out."
"I know that Jeff, jesus." The second half took a little longer to catch up with Hank, "wait what?"
"He's taking night classes right? So that usually means older students. Try talking to him outside of class, like at the shop once the semester is over," Jeff said casually, as though he wasn't suggesting that Hank talk to a guy that was younger than him but also definitely out of his fucking league.
Hank was saved from having to reply when their food arrived. Content silence followed as they enjoyed their lunch, though in the background Hank was overtaking what Jeff had said. Could he approach Connor? Would that be okay? Worst comes to worse Connor would just assume him an overly conversational customer. It couldn't hurt to try he supposed, but then again he'd always been a sucker for brown eyes.
They switched to lighter topics until it came time to part ways. Like always they parted with the half empty promise that they would do this more often. Hank giving a less empty promise that, yes he would at least try and talk to Connor when the semester was out.
Hank had left in a better mood than he had arrived in. For the first time in months he felt inspired, he wanted to write. Not for his manuscript, but maybe it was time to start a new project. Something that better fit what he was feeling, something light and happy. A short piece probably, but well worth the wait. Something that reflected the warmth that can be found in warm brown eyes.
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jenna-jayde-the-renagade · 4 years ago
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So my life has gone to shit.. I dont trust anybody anymore, and honest to god I cant help but keep thinking of ways to end it. My mom keeps telling me how to feel about this whole thing, that I should be grateful that i got in finally to see a specialist. Reality is I dont even trust those subhuman animals anymore, and frankly they're gonna have to earn my trust. After 4 fucking years, my life, my future being ruined. My mental health going downhill, all for the second time now. Add on to that, I dont get any meds for the pain so this has pushed me into addiction now for a second time. I've been dehumanized and humiliated, treated with nothing but the utmost disrespect while being stigmatized for being mentally ill, transgender and a recovering addict for most of it. They ignored me for 4 years, my body is damaged, and frankly help just might have came too little too late. I wont just suffer through the next one, the next time this happens I'm gonna end my life, my suffering on my own god damn terms. Atleast I still have control over that..
Fuck the canadian healthcare system. Some days I honestly just want to start selling drugs, and fly to a country where I can just pay to play and get the best care in the god damn world. Cause 4 years now I've been telling them to refer me to a specialist, I've been telling them that it's probably crohns or some other GI issue. They need to do a colonoscopy and a scope to find it, so that's what I would ask for. I would never get it, so i more or less gave up on the healthcare system. They would leave me on the floor thrashing in pain for hours. Treating me like a drug addict in withdrawal when I didnt even have any opioids in my system. I would be lucky if I got an IV for fluids, and even more lucky if they pumped me full of a bunch of over the counter drugs and others that didnt work like gravol, tauridol, buscopan, zofran, and haliperidol. I would tell them each time, that this was the hundredth time they tried gravol, and it doesnt help people when they're screaming in pain. They treat the nausea. Its bullshit because I am in so much pain that its making me nauseous and until they get rid of the pain, the vomiting is just gonna continue. They always treat me like I'm full of shit, and when I turn out to be right and continue puking, thrashing and screaming in pain, they just get angry at the fact they were wrong. Our doctors and nurses are a bunch of sociopathic, apathetic adult children who in my experience take pleasure in watching you suffer. The worse I get the more they smile. They are so stupid, blind almost because if their stupid fucking machine says I'm ok then I guess it's all in my head. They only think that theres nothing wrong with me because theyve only ever done a blood test or an xray. Never ever once have they done a single test that would have found the issue, crohns cant be found just on a blood test. The emergency room doctors think it can be, my family doctor and everybody else I've talked to says otherwise.
On January 1st I was having another flare up, and they shoved me in the psych observation room because they genuinely didnt want to deal with me. They ignore me, and I keep going in because I want help. I dont want to end up relapsing again cause I cant take the god damn pain! But nope, I get treated like a crazy person now.. they did it against my will. And they even tried to take my phone and my keys. I was puking constantly, I needed water to keep hydrated and they left me for 4 hours, locked in, no meds, no help or nothing. So I just cracked.. I had nothing to barf in, to wipe my nose with, or to wipe the cold sweat off me. So I puked in every corner of that room, I puked beside the bed especially because a mop wouldnt fit in there. I pissed in the corner, I would hack up some phlegm and spit it all over the floors and walls, I blew snot rockets on every surface too! After a while some nurse came in and gave me a barf bag. I threw it on the floor and just continued to puke over every hard surface in the place. I was puking every 5 seconds I swear, and the doctor finally came in at 3 hours and 15 minutes. At 3.5 hrs they give me two pills. I straight up tell them there is no point in even taking them. I couldnt even keep water down and these people are stupid enough to make me take pills? Come on. You need to hold it in for atleast an hour to see even the most minimal affects. I was puking every 5 seconds, to the point that I puked before I took the pills, and I puked them out the moment after I swallowed. They had given me a fucking gravol tab, and some Ativan, the latter of which I couldnt even hold under my tongue long enough. I barfed it onto the floor when it was half dissolved. They come back with this clear liquid shit in a shot glass. I swallowed it right after I puked. The liquid burned my insides, and i puked that shit out even quicker. I asked them to give me IV medications for that exact reason, I always ask for IV medications cause its literally a waste of your time and mine to just pump me full of pills when I can't keep them down and they hurt my tummy as they dissolve. They tell me to just "breathe deeply and relax" and to "just try jayden, you gotta try", so then I try, and when they end up being wrong, and I can't take shit. They end up saying that I'm manipulating, that I'm drug seeking or I'm not trying hard enough to make it work. Absolute bullshit, over the course of 4 years I have quite literally told them what to do. I have multiple family members with this disease, and my grandmother was ignored like this too. She told me to ask them for a colonoscopy and a scope, and to ask them to treat the pain, not the nausea cause the pain literally causes the nausea. The sooner the pain is gone the sooner I can be normal and tell them what's going on. Instead I'm left to suffer in the worst pain a human being can feel. I get treated like shit and told it's all in my head. I gave up on getting a diagnosis in year two. I just want to shoot dope whenever the pain comes. Dope atleast takes it away, after all they would be giving me some of the strongest shit they have at the hospital if I was some boomer with a sprained ankle. It would take the pain away. Thats for sure. Being a mentally ill, drug using, autistic tranny they just see that. I get nothing. No help, no answers, not even some relief when my screaming can be heard far and wide.
I want to die right now, and I keep trying to think of a painless way to do it.. buying $400 worth of street fentanyl and slipping into a nice, peaceful opioid coma seems like a wonderful idea right now.. that would end the fucking suffering atleast..
I wont be wearing a colostomy bag. Colostomy bags arent sexy, they are fucking disgusting and you cant just be body positive when you have a fucking bag full of your own shit hanging off you, and your only way of having penetrative sex sewed up permanently and taken away from me. Not like I could even be a decent fuck for anybody at this point anyways. Its painful to shit, let alone anything else. I dont want to give up food either. I love food, food is literally my life and the only way I have to bond with certain people! Like my family for example. Nothing makes me just want to slip.into that coma more then the worry of the future.
Will I be sitting at a family gathering eating bland gluten free, dairy free, all organic 100% vegan fair trade horse shit on a plate while my family actually gets to enjoy the food I used to be able to eat? Moms spaghetti, grandmas meat pies, the baked goods, fresh tomatoes out of my garden and others. A good fucking steak even? Cause honestly a birthday isnt a birthday if I dont have my birthday meal.
I know for a fact my body is damaged from 4 years of suffering. I used to bounce back, now it takes the wind out of my sails for a month.
Needless to say, I just want to fucking die more then anything else. Positivity and anything I love is gone, and all that I have left is knowing that Alberta health services, coast mountain health services, providence health services, and interior health services have all fucked me in the biggest way humanely possible. So thankful for free fucking healthcare!!
You get what you bloody well pay for!!
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crossiantgay · 4 years ago
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This is the pt.2 of the chapter one for the Princess and the Frog au because apparently Tumblr has a post limit. Anywayyyyy-
Roman looked down. 
“Not even if I paid you? Of course, if you could turn me back into a human, I could pay you handsomely” Logan looked to the side, weighing his options. With that money, he could buy the library. He could make it the best library in town, in all of New Orleans! Was it worth a moment of discomfort for all of that? Logan nodded. 
“One kiss and then you get me the money, ok?” Roman nodded. 
“Of course, mi estrella.” Logan leaned closer to the frog. 
“I can’t believe I’m doing this.” Roman smirked as Logan gently placed a kiss on the frog. Roman sighed. “I don’t think it worked.” Roman opened his eyes as he looked to where Logan once stood. 
“...hello?” Roman looked down and saw a pile of clothes. Oh no… 
“Wh-where did all these sheets come from? Why is everything so big?”
“Monsieur-” Roman said carefully.  Logan looked down and saw two green, froggy legs. 
“OH MY GOD WHAT DID YOU DO?!” Roman hopped down from the balcony and stood beside Logan, who was now a frog. 
“I-I have to teach tomorrow- I-I can’t-” Roman cut him off. 
“Wait, teach?” Roman raised an eyebrow. 
“Yes, teach. I’m a teacher at the middle school.”
“So you’re not a real prince?” Roman hopped towards him, worried. 
“No, I’m not a real prince! This is a costume party! Weren’t you confused why people were dressed as lobsters and ponies?” Roman looked down. 
“I didn’t think of that…” 
“You sure didn’t! Now I’m stuck as a frog, great!” 
“Maybe if you kiss me again it will work.” Logan hopped away. 
“No- no. I want nothing to do with you. I will find a way to get turned back on my own.” 
“Well can’t I at least come with you? That way we can both get turned human, together.” Roman caught up to Logan. Logan only sped up. 
“Just leave me alone. You’ve only made things worse for me.” 
“Look, I’m sorry-” 
“Well sorry doesn’t change the fact that I’m not a frog, does it?” Logan snapped at him. Next thing they knew, they were at the edge of the swamp. They could still hear the music from the party blaring. Logan glared at Roman as he hopped towards the swamp. 
“Get away from me” 
“I’m afraid I can’t do that-” 
“I don’t want to talk to you” 
“Why are you still so mad? In case you’re forgetting, I’m also a frog while I’m being impersonated by someone else” 
“Well in case you forgot, you turned me into a frog.” 
“Will you two stop bickering please? You’re the loudest thing in this forest, and in case you’re forgetting, some of us are just waking up.” Roman and Logan both snapped their heads around. 
“Who-who said that?” Logan hopped around searching for the source of the mysterious voice. 
“Save your breath, I’m right here.” A raccoon stumbled out of one of the bushes. Roman let out a high-pitched scream. Logan glared at him. 
“I’m sorry- I just- don’t have a particular fascination with wild animals.” Logan rolled his eyes. 
“I’m sorry, I don’t know him.” Logan said flatly. Roman scoffed. 
“Rude-” Logan cut him off. 
“I am Logan. This man, er frog, is Roman. He got involved in some magic and got us both turned into frogs. Do you know any place-or person who can turn us back?” Virgil stood on his hind legs and walked towards them. 
“Humans…. Neat. I’ve always wanted to be a human…” He looked down at his paws. 
“But as you can see, I am clearly not one. What is it like, being a human, if I can ask?” 
“Well where to start?-” 
“So let’s not.” Logan rolled his eyes and Roman gave him a look. 
“I’m in a bit of hurry, I’m sure on our way we can tell you some about human life” Virgil nodded and began walking deeper into the swamp. 
“Well? C’mon.” Virgil motioned and Roman and Logan began hopping behind him. 
“Hey Rem, I found some ex-humans. Maybe you can help them or something? I don’t know-” 
“BE RIGHT THERE, GIRLFRIEND” Someone called. Virgil grumbled. 
“I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME THAT” A firefly buzzed out of the swamp and landed on a branch beside them. 
“Heyyyyyy” Who they assumed was Remy smiled and Virgil lied down and mumbled. 
“I too, am an ex-human. Got vain and stuff. Made a deal with the snake man and blah blah blah” He waved a skinny arm dismissively. Roman hid behind Logan and Logan scooched away from him. 
“OMG I SHIPP” Remy laughed and Roman hopped away.
“Wha- no way- nO. NO! I just- um-” Roman buried his face in the ground. Remy laughed and Logan looked between them, confused. 
“I’ve heard my students use that term before- what does it mean?” Remy just smiled and Virgil groaned. Logan cleared his throat. 
“Um-anyway about our little frog problem-”
Remy sighed.
“I might know someone who can help” Remy looked at Virgil.
“No- we are NOT-” Virgil ran back into the bush. Roman looked at each other, confused.
“Dr.Picani might be able to help. He is a novice at magic, but something is better than nothing. You two can at least give him a visit.” 
“... aren’t you going to come?” Roman asked. 
“Well, I can guide you there, but he hates insects.” Virgil reemerged from the bushes and nodded. 
“I hate him. Well, not him in particular, just the whole magic thing is creepy. For all magic.” Virgil laid down again. Remy hovered over virgil. 
“Why do you hate him??? He’s the sweetest, cutest doctor I’ve ever met. He’s super smart and his eyes- his eyes are the deepest shade of blue I have ever seen. And his cardigan-” Remy sighed and a dark color rose to his cheeks as he realized the others were staring at him. 
“Oh um-what-I uh-I said nothing-” After a short pause, virgil cleared his throat. 
“So- do you really think he can turn people back to humans..?” Logan looked to him with interest and Remy nodded. 
“He can practically do anything with magic. Why do you ask?” Virgil looked to the side. 
“Uhm-I just-didn’t want to go there if he couldn’t- uh-” Logan mouthed an ‘oh’. 
“He wants to know if he can also be turned human.” Remy paused and nodded. 
“I don’t see why not.” Roman hopped toward Virgil and spoke. 
“ You can come with us- if you want-unless you have something to do-”Virgil laughed. 
“Yes, and a raccoon has plenty of things to do in a day.” Roman looked down. 
“Nah, I guess I can come with you all. Why not, amiright?” He shrugged and sat up again. 
“Should we start going or not..?” Roman floated out. 
“Sit down, of course not.” Roman huffed and sat down. 
“You’re no fun, you know?” 
“Well, I think you should listen to me unless you want to die. We’re going to need some food and I don’t think you know the 21 types of poisonous types of mushrooms found in this region by memory? Didn’t think so. I’m the biology teacher here.” Roman rolled his eyes. 
“Ok, teach. What are you gonna do, send me to the principal’s office? I say we should start going and find something along the way.” He hopped away. 
“Go die then.” Logan said flatly. 
“Well it’s better than getting mocked by you.” Logan tapped his foot on the ground impatiently. 
“I will not be responsible for a death in this bayou. Get back here.” He could hear Roman laugh from several feet away. 
“Do you care about me now all of a sudden?” Roman came into view as he hopped near them again. 
“No, I’m just protecting my asset.” Roman raised his eyebrows and laughed. 
“You’re less mature than most of my students.” Roman smirked. 
“Thank you.” 
“That wasn’t a complime-” He was cut off by Remy.
“So I’m like, kind of confused. Are we staying here tonight or not?”
“Yes.”Logan said quickly before Roman could say anything. 
Aand thats all ive got so far.
@subtlereferencetomyinterests
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