#literally cannot explain how much I want this
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「🌃」 mc-ish mutuals •••
Wanderer on the subway on my way back from work… sorry y’all but I clocked out 14 minutes ago this one’s between you and god
#I need a break #And SO much sleep
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🔁 raf-tumblrsta reblogged •••
「🐥」 raf-tumblrsta mutuals •••
i looooove playing speed draw on roblox and making kids cry when i win every single round its my favorite pastime fr fr
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「🖼️」 rafayels-paint-water follow •••
rafayel when are we getting a new painting 🙏🙏🙏 your fans are STARVING 😭😭
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「🐥」 raf-tumblrsta mutuals •••
girl 😭😭 soon i promise
#everytime i try to do something my mind wanders to roblox #picking up a brush? #no roblox #making sketches? #no roblox #life is roblox
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「🐺」 thing2 •••
WHAT?? psychopath behavior get her ass nonny!!!
#wait are you talking about sylus from the n109 zone LOL #tbh i see it he’s kinda… #🐦⬛ anon
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🔁 lukiepookie reblogged •••
「🦊」 lukiepookie follow •••
I am going to drink one gallon of unprocessed raw milk rn
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「🩻」 dr-zayne-phd •••
I cannot tell if you are joking or not, but I would strongly advise you not to do this. Drinking raw milk can lead to a myriad of health consequences like stomach cramping and vomiting. In more server cases it can even lead to kidney failure, paralysis, or death.
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「🦊」 lukiepookie follow •••
And I will drink another
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🔁 otherworldly reblogged savannas-fotos •••
「📹」 savannas-fotos follow •••
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「💡」 otherworldy mutuals •••
The Earth… is really beautiful <(“0”)>
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🔁 dramaqueenie reblogged explosively- ••• handsome
「🍎」 explosively-handsome •••
Ok this is going to sound insane but hear me out. I want to confess to my childhood best friend that I have feeling for her, the only problem is that she thinks I’ve been dead for the past 7 months. How do I approach this situation??
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「📢」 dramaqueenie follow •••
ok… there’s a lot to unpack here
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🔁 pretty-simple-aesthetic reblogged •••
「🎀」 pretty-simple-aesthetic follow •••
if you genuinely support sylus or think he’s hot,,, block me and i’m being so serious. he’s literally a mass murderer, a wanted criminal, and the reason why the n109 zone is so dangerous. if you cannot set aside your attraction to him and realize that he’s a terrible person, i do not want you to interact with any of my posts. period.
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「🍞」 bananabreadwhore follow •••
Girlie does not realize that the mainstream media brainwashed her so bad this generation is so cooked man how is no one doing research before posting things online 😭😭
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「🎀」 pretty-simple-aesthetic follow •••
girlie does not realize that i am standing outside her house with a loaded shotgun
#and what does media literacy have anything to do with this??? #i’ve had a family member die in the n109 zone you cannot be telling me anything!!!! #i swear this is just some middle aged divorced wine mom who simps for this freak #someone come pick up grandma over here
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🔁 raf-tumblrsta reblogged davinki- ••• appreciation
「🎨」 davinki-appreciation follow •••
Head of a Woman (1500-10) by Leonardo da Vinci
#da vinki 😧😧🫵🫵 #raf-rebloggz #not my art
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🔁 lukiepookie reblogged •••
「🦊」 lukiepookie follow •••
I am going to drink one gallon of unprocessed raw milk rn
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「🐺」 thing2 •••
why are we drinking raw milk gang?
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「🦊」 lukiepookie follow •••
Thorsty 😔😔
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🔁 bananabreadwhore reblogged ••• pretty-simple-aesthetic
「🎀」 pretty-simple-aesthetic follow •••
if you genuinely support sylus or think he’s hot,,, block me and i’m being so serious. he’s literally a mass murderer, a wanted criminal, and the reason why the n109 zone is so dangerous. if you cannot set aside your attraction to him and realize that he’s a terrible person, i do not want you to interact with any of my posts. period.
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「🍞」 bananabreadwhore follow •••
Girlie does not realize that the mainstream media brainwashed her so bad this generation is so cooked man how is no one doing research before posting things online 😭😭
#How are you going to be this chronically online and still be this uninformed #Media literacy is so dead man #These people are stuck in their twitter echo chambers and FREAK OUT when a different opinion is presented that doesn’t match their agenda #+ sylus is hot and if you don’t think so there is something wrong w/ you #bananabreadwhore.txt
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#love and deepspace#l&ds#lads#i do not know how to come up with usernames lol#love & deepspace#lads sylus#lads xavier#lads zayne#lads rafayel#lads memes#sylus love and deepspace#love and deepspace sylus#love and deepspace rafayel#love and deepspace xavier#love and deepspace zayne#lnds#rafayel love and deepspace#xavier love and deepspace#zayne love and deepspace#l&ds zayne#lnds zayne#l&ds sylus#l&ds rafayel#l&ds xavier#sylus#rafayel#xavier#zayne#lads caleb
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My commentary on the whole "if dipper is transmasc mable is a terf" thing is that dipper and Mabel are 12 years old and exist in a cartoon set in 2012. Mable does not know what a terf is. Mabel is 12 years old, 12 year Olds can't be terfs. If her actions persisted into adulthood yeah she'd be transphobic but she is a cartoon character who can never age. I don't look at a real life 12 year old saying transphobic things and think they're a terf, because that's stupid. I'm sure if this character could have the intricacies of transphobia explained to her she'd understand her actions were wrong, but she can't, because she's a twelve year old from a cartoon that stopped airing in 2016.
the anon who pointed out it's exactly the same with Chihiro is so gigabrained
cannot get over how much some transfems get mad at transmascs for doing the same shit transfems do. "transmascs are obsessed with headcanoning characters as transmasc even when it makes no sense" coming from the "estrogen would save her" crowd is, maddening
well thanks to epistemological standpoint trans women will always have a deeper and more complex relationship to gender
Its literally nauseating and disgusting listening to - say that trans mascs don't face the same rate of SA as trans fems or that we're lying about the statistics of the violence against us
I know anon <3
whats really funny about the whole "mabel would be transphobic" thing is that she would be transphobic regardless. saying that someone isn't a man cuz they're too girly is transphobic. like just straight up. it's not like. the worst form of transphobia ever. but it's like how telling a guy that he throws like a girl is still sexist regardless. and you know what? mabel is 12. she's a child. so what if she's a little bit mean? the whole thing is just so stupid because it's trying to make a headcanon thats relatively completely innocent seem problematic. and idk if i really want that sort of precedent to be set around trans headcanons. anyways i hope ur having a good day ^^
I keep saying this but it's wild how the "trans men are so comfortable with being girls and calling themselves girls" crowd is dogmatic that a twelve year old girl misgendering a twelve year old trans boy is committing the worst possible crime against him.
- i'm sorry but is this person implying that in order to not be discriminated against trans men should stop being men or is it something out of my fucked-up head?
Unintentionally, yes.
Idk if you saw the Twitter blahaj drama but like, some trf’s loose their minds if trans men also like a stuffed animal but god fucking forbid we also have transmasc headcanons like idk it’s always the same people doing this shit too at this point I think they just hate any other kind of trans person and just post-hoc rationalize it whenever there’s a “”tme”” being happy
Correct! And then transmasc TRFs are like "so true queen, don't these sissies know that being a man is all about suffering."
Potentially hot take but if you really REALLY can't find a trans actor to play your trans character I would VASTLY prefer a cis actor of the character's actual gender not their ASAB. "But anon, what if they're early transition?" Plenty of cis people are clocky, that's a very common pushback against TERF bullshit; that they're applying such a narrow standard of gender presentation that even cis people get caught up in it. Makeup exists. Prosthetics exist. Good actors who can make you believe they're fucking trans exist.
Yeah! Just look at the fantastic job Demi Bennett does playing Rhea Ripley!
'transandro dudes are stupid cause they say androphobia is bad but they're too scared to go up to the buffest gym dude and ask for his testosterone supply' are you stupid on purpose. it's not because he's a man it's because he's cis and a lot of cis people are SO down to beat up anyone they suspect might be a trans person. and a pre t trans dude asking for testosterone when the gym guy perceives said trans dude as a woman is DEFINITELY gonna get clocked and then be at risk of getting injured. can we please bring back thinking with our brains
transmasc and transfem TRFs are both so desperate to see themselves as having places in society identical to cis men and cis women and it's not going to fucking work out any time soon
Now personally I adore all the aesthetic posts and they give me a ton of material for my technology tag sooo thank you 4 reblogging so many dope gifs ^^
Thank you!
Maybe one day a week where the only messages people are allowed to send are fawning/simping/lusting after you idk lmao
that IS half my inbox already lol
weird thing but as a kid i was labeled tomboy so often i would consider my gender as a kid to BE tomboy. but when i decided to start being just a boy (trans boy) instead everyone acted like it was something out of left field and that there was "no proof" that i was trans (keep in mind this is like 2014-ish. i am still 99.9% sure i was the first ever person to come out as not cis at my school). like... what the hell do you mean "no proof"?? you literally spent my childhood calling me a tomboy and, after my sister started walking and talking, pointing out how much of a girly girl i WASNT compared to her.
the idea of cis people wanting "proof" is so weird
i like ur aesthetic posts tho, they make me happy also why tf r they complaining about aesthetic posts on tumblr of all places lol
literallyyyyy
Now personally I adore all the aesthetic posts and they give me a ton of material for my technology tag sooo thank you 4 reblogging so many dope gifs ^^
You're welcome!
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RWRB Full-Cast Audiobook Imaginations
So with the sequel on the horizon, we’re not that far from a full-cast re-recording of the audiobook, right?
I listen to the audiobook more than I read the book, mostly because I can listen to it while doing other stuff, and no offence to the original narrator, but while it’s good, it’s not the best. I kind of cringe at his British accent for Henry.
So I have a lot of thoughts.
The thing is with an audiobook, we can get both the wonderful vocal performance of the movie cast, and the iconic book lines, the ones that didn’t, and frankly, could never have made it into the movie due to format restrictions:
Sexy explicit sex scenes
Sexy explicit sex lines “For fuck’s sake, man, you just had my dick in your mouth, you can kiss me good-night”, “I want you to fuck me”, “I’ve been thinking about your mouth on me all well”
Emails in their entirety
Email openings and endings “Huge Raging Heache Prince Henry of Who Cares”, “First Son of Shirking Responsibilities”, “Horrible Revolting Heir”, “First Son of Founding Father Sacrilege”, “Haplessly Romantic Heretic Prince Henry the Utterly Daft”
Email historical quotes “The whole is a mass of fools and knaves; I could almost except you”, “I meet you in every dream”
Swearing and explicit language “fucking shit” “I fucking love you, okay?”
Internal Struggle
Iconic lines that didn’t make it into the movie for adaptation and story purposes “I’m never gonna love anybody in the world like I love you” “I love him on purpose”, “America, he is my choice”
Like, imagine hearing all of this in Taylor, in Nick, in Sarah and Uma and Ellie and Rachel and Thomas and Aneesh and Cfiton etc etc 's voice. Just imagine it!!!
Another thing to add is that to put it in simple terms, the current version of the audiobook does the dialogue lines closer to theatre acting: more enunciated, more inflection, and slower. Which is fine in its own right (I’m a theatre kid). But with the cast audiobook, hopefully, we can get them to do something closer to film acting, i.e. closer to reality, reading the lines as they would if they were to shoot those scenes.
Which is gonna make big moments like sexy times and confrontations a lot of fun :D
And something really entertaining to think about is now that we also know the cast and their dynamic is thinking about how much fun they would have while recording the book, especially when they have scenes together. And it’s not necessarily just Taynick, it’s group scenes with the whole Super Six, like the karaoke scene in chapter seven, or the Texas Holiday Scenes with Firstprince and Junora.
Like, Imagine it, the actors in the same recording studio, maybe even on the same couch:
Taylor and Nick laughing while reading off the insults from the earlier frienemies days of their relationship
Taylor and Nick squirming and playfully hitting each other when recording lines for sexy scenes like the first night, or the tack room, or Wimbledon
The cast shouting and booing (playfully) whenever someone messes up a line in their group scenes
The chaotic fun that is the LA karaoke scene, everybody’s laughing, Ellie gets to be the singular sober person while everyone else acts drunk, Nick singing Don’t Stop Me Now shittier (Nick has the voice of an angel but book Henry can’t sing for shit),
Taylor and Nick giving each other hugs after screaming at each other for the Kensington confrontation
Nick grinning smugly at every book height difference mention (:<
More of Taylor speaking Spanish!!!
Thomas gets to be a proper asshole villain who later turns into awkward older brother who's trying
Ellie gets to do the pie metaphor grief monologue
Taylor gets to do another speech (he’s really good at delivering speeches)
I want to quickly reiterate that I am in no way unhappy with what we got in the end for the movie; I love it to pieces. However, as Matthew and Casey said, there are two “canonical” versions of the story now, and since audiobooks are an option, it would be really nice to connect this aspect of the movie verse with the book verse in some sort of middle ground.
So yeah Audible? Amazon? Get on with it!!!
@almightaylor this was the long post I mentioned, I literally started this in July lol
#rwrb#red white and royal blue#rwrb movie#taylor zakhar perez#nicholas galitzine#henry fox mountchristen windsor#alex claremont diaz#henry hanover stuart fox#firstprince#rwrb audiobook#rwrb cast#rwrb thoughts#rwrb rambles#literally cannot explain how much I want this#meraki essay
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whatever I don’t care abt my stupid grandma anymore we have kittens
#it was our honest intention to have our cat sterilized but literally the same week we planned to take her to the vet#construction workers came to our ‘house’ & didn’t close the doors properly & she got out bc she was scared of the noise they were making#and was gone for 11 days and came back pregnant#and by then we had already spent the sterilization money on various things necessary for our survival while being homeless#but we thought we still had enough time to amass enough money for her like . abortion. bc we thought there was no way in hell we were going#to be able to take care of them but she gave birth literally out of nowhere last sunday#which was the day i left the house so . here they are and im finally spending some time with them and they’re so cute im gonna pass away#i realize I don’t have to be explaining all this but I don’t want some moron calling me irresponsible for forcing my cat to have kittens#while homeless like i cannot describe how much it wasn’t our intention to do so#mp
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Gotham War is shit and all, but I'm starting to get tired of people complaining that Bruce was OOC that was like literally one of the main points
complain about literally anyone else being OOC because they don't have an excuse
#'Bruce was too mean. Bruce would never say that' Zur would and we don't know which one said it#Remember he was possessed by like 100 different guys at the time and not all Bruce's are canonically identical in personality#so the same applies to Zurs#Like it has so many problems but I cannot fault it for doing exactly what it explained it would do and set up from the beginning of the run#the 'he's my son' bit was literally the set up for so much about how he treats his children/family#Zur holds no affection for them but Bruce does#and he has that argument with his alternate self#and then Zur-possessed Bruce acting like an ass is literally a result of that#bruce wayne#batman#gotham war#'gotham war isn't canon to me' get away from me#batfamily#batfam#Zdarsky just wants to write Tim and it shows#even when he's not writing that well it's clear he's doing what he wants#and what he wants is the same rehashed 'bruce cares about them' moment#which has been done better before
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awful. beyond redemption. i will stare at it for days
#literally…… cannot explain how obsessed with just these frames alone#but then there’s the added context??????#that this is actually charlie getting into something pim likes just for him#and being like super forward about it not acting like he doesn’t care about it or he just happened to start liking it or anything…..#he wants pim to know he loves him so much…………… and even despite his like#lifelong support of mr frog he was still sitting there rooting for who PIM wanted to win#and then he …… he … kiss…… i cant say it…. he did that to him#even though pim is yknow. The one who does that#and people have been talking about how oh wouldnt it be fun if one rpisode#pim did the super fast kissing thing to charlie. we really got something even better#because charlie WOULD NEVER DO THAT to ANYBODU ELSE and it was just a vague and simple moment of joy#they stopped and stayed still for one second and it was only that short instant it took for charlie to go#Hmm i am going to kiss pim really quickly. just while i can. Like man…….#i cant even……… charlie in love with pim who’s surprised#of course though. expectations low. the rest of the season will probably not be like this and they might even be throwing us for a loop#but still . enjoying lovey dovey newlyweds charpim before divorce charpim rolls around Maybe. Perhaps …. i hope 😁#hhfhgfhfbfdbdbdh#💝
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hey guys so I just started reading Flatland by Edwin A. Abbott and OMG AHSBNSBSBSNSNBSHZHSHDBFHGGHFHGRJ2KSHSBSNSK AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE THINKING ABOUT THE RELATIVITY BETWEEN DIMENSIONS!!!!!!
#probably the nerdiest thing i will ever read in my entire life but I AM SO HAPPY#Its the unabridged and corrected 1992 republication btw. if you wanna get specific#the only book in which i have actually decided to read the introductory notes and i do NOT regret it because the editor's one IMMEDIATELY#brought up the “oh but surely the second dimension has thickness how else would flatlanders see anything” AND GAVE A REALLY GOOD ANSWER.#which i cannot tell you here. bc it is several paragraphs long and idk how i would shorten it. i would hit tag limit. if thats a thing.#anyways. I'm only a little bit into the first part which basically explains how Flatland works as a society so i haven't even gotten to the#sphere yet but OH MAN I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO EXCITED ABOUT A ROUND OBJECT IN MY LIFE#IM LOSING IT OVER THIS BOOK AAAA :D#me: im so glad i dont have a math class during my senior year! now i dont have to learn anything math-related!#also me: but what if i started studying a complex and almost entirely theoretical part of geometry#bc YEAH i didn't just buy this book bc of gravity falls. I BOUGHT IT BC IVE BEEN RESEARCHING THE 4TH DIMENSION WOOOOOOO!!!!!#one thing i will say i dont like. introductory note suggests the the 4th dimension might be time. this is ok tho bc its followed up with#also saying that time is not a spatial dimension and exist across the 0 1st 2nd and 3rd dimensions which. that epuld mean we live in 4d#already. so. i was worried for a second but THANK YOU THANK YOU OH MY GOD PEOPLE TRYING TO SAY “OH THE 4TH DIMENSION IS TIME” I HATE THAT SO#MUCH AAAAGGHHHH AT LEAST RECOGNIZE ITS NOT SPATIAL!!! TIME IS NOT A SPATIAL DIMENSION!!!!!!! IF IT WAS THEN 4D TRAVEL AND TIME TRAVEL WPULD#BE FHE SAME THING AND DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY MUCH COOLER POSSIBILITIES WPULD BE THROWN AWAY IF THAT WAS THAT CASE!!!!! AND. AND. IF THE 4TH#DIMENSION IS TIME. THEN WHATS THE 5TH?? 6TH?? YPU CANT KEEP GOINF ON FOREVER LIKE THAT. YPURE JUST MAKEING MORE 3D WORLSS WITH STUFF IN#ADDITION TO TIME. INTERESTING BUT THAY IS NOT ABOHT HIGHRER DIEMSBSJSNSBAKAJSHDHDHHDHDHDJ#sorry for the rant. jsut. agh i want a spatial 4th dimension. i dont think tesseracts exist through time that would just be an aged cube#anyways yeahhh i love the 4th dimension. new hyperfixation or new special interest? ill have to wait and see. anyways i have done it i have#an oc whos 4 dimensional now and she is the coolest ever i love her#but yeah this book is sosososo good i am literally gonna bring it to school to read instead of draw bc i would lose it if i didn't#10/10 would recommend to anyone who wants to Think
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one of the things that will always destroy me is people believing that good story = darker/more mature/more sexual. this belief has ruined so many stories that could have been amazing & has prevented almost everyone from enjoying other really good stories simply because the age range it's aimed at is one they believe can't have complex themes, characters, plot, etc etc. they don't believe they can be moved by something a publisher or studio decided is for kids & so write it off without even thinking about it. biggest curse of being a writer who actually loves stories & telling them is that literally no one else cares in the most pessimistic, higher-than-thou, capitalism brainrot way you can imagine. & it's all automatic. because that's just what you're taught.
#like people who love all kids media uncritically is another problem#but i find an even bigger one is people not believing animated stuff & younger age range stuff can impact you#like imagine trying to explain something you love so much it makes you cry#& every single time people react as if you told them something batshit off the walls insane like you only eat dirt or something#& they need to help you because there is clearly something wrong with you#& no matter how you explain it they always look at you like a crazy person#i feel like no matter what the kinds of art i love will always get shoved to the back of the closet#how i explain the hopelessness of trying to convince someone they're allowed to watch cartoons#but they're adamant they aren't because they're ''too old for that kind of thing''#it really makes me want to cry. & it makes me angry#anyways this is all to say that the minecraft movie is bad because people are afraid to interact with silly things in good faith#& complete 100% seriousness. they cannot take a concept like minecraft seriously#& so they can't see what it's REALLY about#it's not just haha silly block animal & because they can't see it as it is without the filter of ''for kids''#it will be a bad movie. & it won't represent everything everyone who grew up with that game sees in it#i hate seeing a huge problem & either no one else sees it or they do but just don't care because they don't think it's a problem#it IS a problem. it's a HUGE problem that people think they're not allowed to play or have fun or interact with silly concepts seriously#please take shit seriously i'm crying & i'm begging. we could have had something beautiful#people's inability to acknowledge beauty just because the setting is. in their eyes. for kids. is literally ruining art#& i'm gonna start killing about it#Animorphs save me............................................
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Everytime I face a new character limit on a website that didn't have them before/used to have really long ones... AUGHHhhh the modern social media world was not made for people like me (lovers of details, rambling, elaboration, thorough explanation, and nuance)
#twitter and other short form shit and everything being a Phone App On Small Screen instead of a Proper#Computer Website i feel like has just ruined the format of literally everything for me. Thoughts just keep getting more and more condensed#with detail and nuance taken away. everything over simplified into only the basics. blah blah blah. I've already probably rambled about thi#all before but it's just SO frustrating. I literally just CAN NOT talk that way!!! even if I try!!! I took multiple advanced placement#english & language arts classes in school and I literally never made below an A on any assignment EVER except for ESSAYS#where I would legit get almost failing grades just because I cannt express myself concisely. I took an english placement test thats made to#like evaluate your competency in a subject and out of the 102 multiple choice questions I only missed TWO of them. almost a perfect#score. But for the 5 open response questions (about articulating thoughts succinctly) I did not get a single one of them lol#I only got partial credit on 3. It's like I OBVIOUSLY understand the material and I know how Words Work and how to analyze and interpret#meaning and etc. etc. But it's just when I have to express myself CLEANLY I can't. It's always ''well you have very good points and you#get around to the idea eventually and I think it's very insightful - but it just needs to be shorter/the side tangent needs to be removed/#etc.'' I've always wondered if it has something to do with being on the schizophrenia spectrum and how that can cause disorganized#speech sometimes hmm..ANYWAY.. But I just naturally express myself in a very particular way which is lengthy and I can't rea#ly seem to control it. So it's basically like just.. being gradually pushed out of every place that won't accomodate people with different#ways of like perceiving and expressing or etc. Everything cannot ALWAYS be 100% 'Short and Snappy and To The Point' or a quippy one#liner or the Bare Minimum of information being provided or etc. Some peoples brains just do not work like that!!!!! Sorry I operate#in detail and elaboration lol. ANYWAY.. I still sometimes use random ''dating sites'' like OKCupid to look for platonic friends since#I never leave the house so it's hard for me to just meet friends naturally. And I just realized today that they added a RIDICULOUSLY small#character limit to their messaging system (2000 words?? augh). And also took away answer explanations (when you answer a compatibility#question you used to have a space to give detail and explain why you answered the way you did) and removed a few other features and it's ju#t like.. how the fuck is any of this actually helpful in terms of judging compatibility? take away ALL nuance and anyting that actually#is meant to tell you anything about a person? Bumble's character limits for your profile description are even more fucking insane and so#is every other disgustingly minimalistic place I've seen like.. OKC used to be superior BECAUSE it allowed for a TON of detail. like back i#2016 or something there was SO much data you could look at. long form question answers. personality trait summaries. etc. Now you have#SOO little to judge off of when evaluating compatibiility it's like. You'd have better luck just throwing a dart in a crowded street and#talking to whoever it hits. Why are people so fucking allergic to reading anything longer than 3 words and providing DETAILS!! It just seem#harder and harder to find any place to meet platonic friends where you have any amount of actual data to go off of and it isnt basically#just random 'speed dating' set up shit. AARGH. &I know 'oh just join a club& meet ppl irl' 1. erm..covid. 2.I mostly want to meet ppl#in places I'd like to move so I already know ppl when I get there. You kind of HAVE to do that online. bc I am not there yet.. WISHING for#Complexity.Com where ppl can upload full 900 page psychological files of themselves. MINIMUM profile character limit 30k words lol
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one thing abt being disabled/chronically ill that some people don’t get is that sometimes body maintenance that ensures you have the absolute minimum amount of function can also be something that takes away a lot of control and autonomy. you can argue till the cows come home that making those decisions to try and help yourself (or realistically to try to make sure things aren’t worse than they already are) is something that exhibits control and autonomy and stuff, but they can be so limiting in practice because they’re things that take up so much time but have to be done to do anything else
#i have to sleep a lot. i’m at the point where functioning requires 8 hours of sleep if not more#I should probably be getting 10+ but i’m a student and i work so 8 is the minimum. but then also getting ready for bed is a whole process s#the whole thing can take 10-12 hours depending how much im sleeping. just to make sure i can do anything#that is time in my day i cannot use for anything else. it’s not ‘oh but i can push through it’ because i can’t without spending the next da#lightheaded and nauseous and vaguely dizzy and with such intense brain fog I can’t think with my fatigue so bad i genuinely don’t know how#get myself to work a lot of days. my abled peers don’t have to deal with this at all. they have unlimited study time if they want to#and yeah it is a choice i’m making that’s true i could just not do. except i would lose my job and fail out of college because i would not#be able to get to classes or do my homework or think. but being told ‘but you are making choices about your life’ when i have lost so much#of what i used to be able to do because i am spiralling down and continuing to get worse is so.#literally last year i would wake up at 6:30 and then go to school till 3 and then go to my internship until 10 and get home at 11 and be in#bed anywhere from midnight to two in the morning and then wake up the next day and do it all again. i graduated with a 3.9 gpa and made it#into my top college while dealing with my cancer symptoms and then the two surgeries about it#but now i lose half my day to just making sure i can get out of bed. i can’t go anywhere because my body is physically too exhausted#any extra time goes into doing homework or occasionally time to myself#not decimating my health by doing minimum body care responsibilities isn’t freeing. occasionally i have a good day which is freeing but tha#usually goes into just. other things outside class or work or eating. I don’t go do something for myself or go do something fun on good day#because I still can’t. good days just mean i don’t want to lie down on the pavement when i’m going somewhere#I just. I don’t magically have control over my life because i try to get enough sleep. i lose half my day to doing that and ultimately it’s#just a bodily function that would have to happen anyway#this is a vent post im just having a really hard time right now because it feels like im in exponential decline. it was nowhere near this#bad last semester. my grades are tanking and i have no free time because anything outside of sleep is either work or school#vent tw#yall can rb this just ignore my tags completely#disability#chronically ill#i keep trying to explain to people how pots works because that’s all logical but there’s no way to explain what it’s doing to my body or ho#i feel all the time. the last time i felt this bad was when i had a bad flu or immediately after surgeries because i don’t react well to#anesthesia and always come out of them feeling like shit. and now i just feel like this all the time and it’s only getting worse#I can’t even stay up late anymore because my body feels like it isn’t counting the sleep even if I get 8 hours#I can deal if I have a free day the day after but that just leaves Friday and Saturday nights and I usually still have to do homework
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Carnage #6 spoilers
This exchange made me fucking laugh. I mean, it's Cletus and I'm not surprised. But like... DAMN
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I CAME ALRIGHT CLETUS! He's so fuckin fine. Bitch tell me to have an orgasm.... ON THE SPOT
#marvel#carnage 2023#carnage#cletus kasady#cletus kasady carnage#daddy#I'LL BE A GOOD BOY I SWEAR#WHY IS HE SO..#MMM#gay#intrustive thoughts#symbiotes#carnage comics#cletus kasady symbiote#klyntar#symbiote#words cannot explain to you how much i wanna fuck this man#i want him#CARNALLY#CARNAGELY#also fuck Carnage for what he did to Cletus in this and previous issue#arrogant bitch ass goo#*strangles something that literally cannot be strangled*#im so fucking gay for him#im having fun with this#i want cletus to fuck the absolute sin outta me then force it back in#im not holding back today. this is everyones problem#good luck
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Tbh there's nothing quite like getting roped (pun intended) into watching a truly mediocre show that can only be described as a Trainwreck fueled by racism and abuse.
#theres enough legitimate potential that im irritated about it but the rest is just a perfect mix of everything systemically wrong#with white men in film/tv writing esp in the genre AND its a great example on just what not to do in imo for good screen/story writing#will i watch further nah only if BF needs a PT binge again but augh#what i will say is in theory it also has the benefit. if you pay attention (tho id want to research it).#of examining and explaining how bad people in the 1% get away with shit. like the long short or whatever the movie was called#but without any pay off or grace or anything of substance#and without anything shows like leverage have going for it#so you like. learn pieces potentially of how these horrific businesses operate to butcher communities and land and communities#whether its legit idk but it's one redemption or would be if there was any satisfaction in it. but there isn't because it gets drowned out#in the constant flood of conflict per episode. i mean the quota of misery and conflict per episode is impossible to meant the tension#is untenable and cannot be maintained so you end up not caring when you should be caring and the emotional moments are no longer emotional#and the interesting things you could be picking up along the way and the foreshadowing get drowned in top much (sometimes literal) bullshit#anyway. two cents on a mediocre racist show about abusive rich white men written by rich white men that could been something.
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I think I understand Antigone and I'm making this no one else's problem but my own. I can deal with my own devices even if those devices always break. I'm not trying to complain. I'm not complaining. I know this has to be right but I'm still here laying on the couch. world's smallest violin or whatever they say. if you go know you go as one beloved although you go without your mind.
#who can FUCKING grow me a new brother pardon my language#it’s even WORSE than you guys know literally the only person with the context here is gurt and that’s bc she spent half a month visiting#like i literally cannot explain how much this hurts why can’t i ever fucking keep anything in my life#why do i always have to be the girl who loses things why is this what God has for me why can’t i just have something to hold onto#my sister in law is leaving WE'RE TAKING HER TO THE AIRPORT tomorrow TOMMOROW#and she's the ONLY person im this safe with the ONLY person who I have like this#I'm laying on the couch freaking crying. I can't imagine being in this house without her. I don't WANT to be in this house without her#and I didn't hug my brother before he left#I'm not going to see them again for over a year and I didn't hug him before he left and it's worse than you all know#and I just fucking want something to keep#again. pardon my language#Lu rambles#sometimes I think I could write poetry
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does anyone else have violent urges to kiss their tav/durge on the forehead
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Where’s that meme with the buff Shiba Inu and the wimpy one and the buff one is Steve mentoring Wanda and the wimp is Tony mentoring Peter??? That shit’s the best
#Fuck tony stark in the MCU especially. Yeah yeah he saved the universe good redemption after the war profiteering and whatever but#I’m talking about how he handled Peter Parker. Baby spidey.#and basically all he did was get angry at a literal child for a) trying to help#b) dealing with more of HIS MESS without his help#and then proceeded to#a) not explain himself or ACTUALLY LISTEN and then revoke a piece of a child’s identity#bc he has trauma from making all those mistakes himself but cannot talk to a smart boy (like himself 🙄) like a human being#he did a bad job mentoring Peter and i resent the mcu for connecting them the way they did#they did both characters dirty actually and in the process continued to make EVERY OTHER SUPER’S STORY ABOUT TONY FUCKING STARK#and half of the bad shit in the mcu was his direct fault.#i want to stress that nobody is wrong for liking mcu tony stark. or comic Tony stark. multiversal stark#i am very attached to spider-man and you’re lying to yourself if you can’t admit Tony dominated too much of the mcu bc hes the ‘godfather’#also ffs Peter Parker worshipping a FUCKING BILLIONAIRE is downright insulting
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Me playing as Cordie in Sun Haven: idk who you are, however I am not interested. l e a v e Me playing as Morgana: Hi hi hello, hello, bye see ya later sweetheart!~
#Slimer.LIVEBLOGGER: Sun Haven#slimer.post#Cordie does not want bitches. Morgana wants and gets bitches. This is funny to me in ways I cannot explain#I've like. Barely interacted with ppl when playing as Cordie. I just wanted to play the game by just farming and gathering resources#meanwhile w Morgana the second I see one of my fav NPC's I will literally swing towards them at mach speeds to literally just check and-#-see if I can start another conversation w them. This is just difference when playing as a character representing me#vs just one of my oc's ig.#I have a surprising number of hearts w Lynn and Nathaniel considering how much I don't go out of my way to interact w them tho#meanwhile im keeping a constant eye out for Miyeon. Its just funny to me#I didn't even remember giving Morgana a concrete sexuality or anything; I drew her once & vaguely planned out her character#now I actually am thinking about this for her character lmao. Shes so fucking m-spec and polyam now this is funny to me#none of this probably makes any sense though. my brain is stewed rn
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