#like we can turn this day around!
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oh
#I’ve had the worst morning at work and feel really overwhelmed and burnt out etc etc#and as soon as I pulled into my driveway I burst into tears and after a few minutes I’m like ok let’s go inside have a shower and eat!#like we can turn this day around!#but i look up and my neighbour’s dog is sitting by my gate with her ball and it felt like my own lil guardian angel#and then I’m playing with her on the front grass and then my neighbour comes out and makes me laugh and yeah#the day is turning AROUND
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the scene people keep screaming about from chapter 5 of theseus' guide
#gravity falls#gf theseus' guide#billford#stanford pines#bill cipher#stanley pines#mabel pines#dipper pines#m.png#THIS WASNT SUPPOSED TO TAKE ALL WEEK AAGH#cool thing i did where i took these characters who i cant draw from any angle but the front and then have them turning around CONSTANTLY#not just views from different angles either! active turning! im a genius!#i feel like you can tell which shots were drawn on different days sadkfhlgljaskg this killed me. i was gonna clean up the bgs but fuck that#theyre functional on a basic level and that is all we need#anyways can you believe the notorious line is only in the fic because an eagle eyed editor (not myself) caught it just before it was delete#and started screaming until it got put back#also the way stump came over while i was making this and was like 'oh right. i ship them' at the way i made bill flirt lmao#it hits different in the visual!#alright now i gotta fucking haul ass on the chapter 8 one
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so just know, I'm healing / even though it don't feel like it
insp
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#yuji itadori#fushiguro megumi#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#fushiita#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#good evening it is past midnight and i am here furthering the itfs scar kissing agenda#stumbled across the insp pic buried in my likes and i went oh this is relevant in the opposite direction :) I Can Use This :)#op has some of my fav itfs fanart ill b so real n tht piece ws swimming around in my brain fr Days#so i told myself today my reward for submitting my zine checkin wld b drawing yuuji kissing megumi's scars#also pls observe. /this/ is what i mean when i say tht megumi receiving affection looks like he is unsure and in mild pain#Does Not Know How To Respond To Affection Even From His Own Boyfriend.png#i LOVE drawing megu with this expression so sosos much the downcast sidelong gaze + furrowed brow.....#its SO good#also idk what i did with his hair here but the render actually turned out so well ?? best megu hair to date every1 pls clap#not 2 mention th shape of yuuji's bangs???? pats self on th back no offense but i am on fire w these boys' hair lately#that being said i decided i did not want to render anything else ddfdfjjghdjgf i got tired#kept the rest flat n took the opportunity to play around w light chromatic abberation on the scars#idk if any1 noticed but i found th retro film filter n used it a bunch on my recent comic#its so convenient it comes w built in noise n everything!!!!!!#anyway . caption is salt fv <333 if u care <333333#i think it is also a megu song but like . a post-canon megu song#i thought this wld take longer bc i was planning on rendering everything so i cracked an energy drink and am tragically awake#shld i start smth new we shall see smile :)
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Bonus 13: Beware the Grapes of Wrath.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#wen qing#wen ning#WWX's main weapon as the Yiling patriarch is considered to be 'Wen Ning' - which makes sense as far as the whole necromancer thing goes.#However...That *is* Wen Qing's beloved baby brother!#In her perspective WWX skipped town for a few days (or so) and took WN with him#only for them both to show up bloodied and in a state of disarray.#There's no way he told her he was going out to duel Jiang Cheng. For several reasons.#He doesn't want to involve her in his messes anymore than he already has.#It's less that she would try and stop him and more so that he honestly wouldn't even think to say something about it to her.#WQ and him aren't partners in this situation. He actually openly disregards her opinions several times.#Wei Wuxian's emotional distance from everyone around him is a big part of this arc.#Like all good tragedies...his biggest flaw is his hubris. He doesn't *need* anyone when he's so capable on his own.#He doesn't need to ask permission when obviously this is the only way forwards.#He has to do it all on his own! No one else needs to be involved!#And if you've been in the position of realizing you have a problem of toxic self-reliance - you know how harmful this mindset is.#It's why it's so satisfying to see WWX in his 'new' life start to let other's share his burdens.#I will die on the hill of 'love means carrying each other's weight. All a burden means is that I can give you support and you support me.'#YLLZ is less 'competent and sexy' and more 'depressed and can't see it'.#Another lovely nod to the main theme here is how he starts leaning more and more into the rumours about him.#Though we are also still confronted with how these rumours fail to actually live up to reality.#Rumour has it the Yiling Patriarch is undefeatable. What a shame if that rumour turned out to be untrue!
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That middle child feel when you’re the one who successfully gets you and your siblings out of trouble only to immediately get jumped by them afterwards
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rise leo#pouring one out for all my fellow middle children 😔#Donnie betraying his fellow middle child like this…even being the one to throw him under the bus first smh#no but like if I was Leo here I’d be like wtf guys#it does make me wonder if Leo constantly was the one who got them all out of messes#and in turn the main one who took the fall if his attempts failed rip#we kinda see this often in the series tbh? where Leo takes point when it comes to talking out a situation#maybe it started very very young as seen in this short#(actually there is no ‘if’ Leo was the one doing this he literally WAS at least twice as tots from what we’re shown)#side eyes Bug Busters where Leo gets his bros out of being turned into clowns and immediately gets blasted 😭#no thanks in sight#can’t even blame him for being a sore winner there I would be too lol#and then he gets thrown off a building like man all around an f tier day for Hamato Leonardo#side note but Leo’s face stripes look especially pink in this lighting and I really like when we can see that pinkness because it looks cute
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What would a mother not do for her child What lengths would a mother not go There's a bond that exists between mother and child With no end to how strong it can grow It's a promise for life between mother and child It begins from the moment of birth.
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She is six years old, and standing on the porch at her Auntie Alicia’s cabin. She is six years old, and holding an old rifle in her hands, standing at the railing and pointing the nozzle at a large target a couple feet away. There’s a pair of old ear muffs covering her ears. Behind her is her daddy and her sister, and Auntie Alicia. She can’t see them.
Danielle Martha Fenton is six years old, and her momma has her arms wrapped warmly around her, keeping the gun steady for her. It’s heavy and the butt digs into her shoulder uncomfortably, and she feels nothing but determined. And nervous.
Her momma was teaching her and Jazzy how to shoot, and they’re down in Arkansas to visit Auntie Alicia for her second “Divorce-iversary” as Auntie calls it. She keeps a hunting rifle in her gun safe for the rabbits that like to nibble on her garden. She mostly grows rhubarb, which goes untouched. But her carrots and greens and other veggies like to be tempting snacks for the game.
Regardless, she is six years old and learning how to shoot. Her momma and her daddy (mostly her daddy) have been banned from every shooting range outside of Amity Park in a hundred mile radius. So Auntie is the best place to learn, or so momma says.
Danny thinks it's just an excuse to see her sister, not that she's complaining. She loves visiting Auntie.
She’s already seen Jazzy do this, her momma told her before the muffs went on to shoot when ready. No use trying to fire when you’re not; you can’t afford to miss when shooting ghosts.
Danny breathes out steady, just like momma taught her, and quells her trembling little fingers. She focuses down the barrel, and pulls the trigger.
Immediately, the recoil throws her off, the side of the gun that her cheek was resting on knocks against her skin, harsh enough to bruise if it weren’t for her momma’s steady hands holding onto her. The bang of the gun startles her more than she thought it would, and her heart leaps up and runs a jackrabbit through her chest.
The gun is carefully slipped out of her hands, and Danny lets it go easily, her cheek smarting in pain and her eyes wide and following up to momma. Momma turns the safety on, and with a gentle hand, pushes against her chest. Danny takes a few steps back, and slips the ear muffs off her head.
Mommy is smiling big at her, something that Danny can’t help but replicate on her own face as her heart swells. “Did I get it, momma?” She asks, watching as she passes the gun off to Auntie Alicia, who steps over to take it.
“I’m going to go see, sweetie, but I think you did.” Momma coos, before planting both her hands on the porch railing and, in a single leap, vaults over the side and onto the grass. She’s dressed all comfortable for the summer heat, with her hair all tied back and in shorts and a tank top and nice boots. Danny’s ribs swell hopefully, and she stands on her tiptoes to watch her walk over.
“I’ll be hard-pressed to believe if you didn’t, Martha Mae,” Auntie tells her, grinning like a cat, “that was a damn good shot.”
‘Martha Mae Knight’ was Danny’s granny’s name. Auntie Alicia calls her that because of her middle name — and because, by her words, she has her momma’s weird-shaped eyebrows and piercing blue eyes. The kind that could scare a hawk into singing like a robin. It was Danny’s favorite nickname ever.
Daddy laughs brightly, the sound painful on her ears but twice as nice, and despite the distance, Momma whirls her head around to shoot Auntie a glare; “Language, Alicia. Not around my girls.” She warns. Her accent always comes through when they’re around Auntie. It’s Danny’s favorite thing to listen to.
“Do you think so, auntie?” Danny says, bright-eyed and ever-optimistic. Auntie Alicia nods fiercely as Momma finally reaches the target and searches for the bullet hole. Daddy then comes up behind her, still laughing, and claps a hand onto her shoulder so hard that it makes her knees hurt.
“Of course she did!” Dad boasts, as bright as the sun and twice as warm. He shakes Danny affectionately, wobbling her on her feet and pulling her straight into his side. She goes so willingly with a burble of giggles. “She’s got the eyes of a Fenton! And our family are darn good shots.”
Auntie eyes him up and down, her smile immediately fading off into a pressed line. “I’m sure you mean she’s got the eyes of a Knight. You couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn at twenty paces, Jack Fenton.”
Jazzy holds back giggles from where she’s standing by the door, her ear muffs in hand, and Danny watches her Daddy’s dark eyes immediately narrow. Just like Auntie’s, his smile tapers off into a frown.
Before he can say anything, there’s a cheer from the yard, and they all turn to Momma clapping her hands in delight.
Danny immediately pricks her ears up, and would’ve darn near rushed over to the railing if it weren’t for her Daddy’s hand on her shoulder. She yells instead, excitement thrumming like a hummingbird against her ribs, “Did I hit it, momma?!”
Momma beams at her with all the pride in the world, “You sure did, Danny!” And she turns to press her finger against the target, right on the inside red ring of the battered old bag. “Right here, sweet girl!”
There are cheers from all around, and Danny’s heart bursts inside her lungs with shiny, sunshine glee. She puffs her chest out big, and smiles so wide it hurts the cheek where the gun smacked her. Her Daddy shakes again, squeezing her tight against his side in a hug that Danny happily reciprocates.
“What’d I tell you, Martha Mae?” Auntie tells with a big wink and a wide grin, the gun still gripped tight in her hands as Momma makes her way back over. “You got a Knight’s eye.”
When Momma makes it back over the railing, she hugs Danny tight and praises her shot. Danny looks her in the eyes and chases the feeling, and asks to shoot again.
#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dpxdc#cw gun#cw gun mention#dp x dc#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc crossover#dpxdc au#dp x dc au#martha knight au#female danny fenton#fem danny fenton#danny is martha wayne au#got a little something something written for this au. the dichotomy of the happy memory and the fact that she's being taught this to shoot#ghosts. the innocence of a child and the reality of the situation :]. as well as danny's steadily disillusion from her parents as she grows#fun fact! this memory is based off one of my own when my dad was teaching us how to shoot so we could (eventually) go hunting with him.#i was around danny's age i think. a little bit younger maybe. so a lot of this stuff -- like Maddie helping her hold it up and them#wearing earmuffs and Danny immediately getting the gun taken away after she shoots and danny herself backing up are all based off#what i could remember. albeit the only difference here is Alicia holding the gun and Jack and Jazz standing behind Danny. in my own memorie#iirc we were all supposed to stand inside when it wasnt our turn. but we also didnt have enough earmuffs for everyone to stand outside.#slaps danny's head like the roof of a car: you can fit SO much trauma in this kid. enjoy her joy while it lasts :]#smth smth the idea that the fenton parents weren't bad at first but instead became a steady decline once they got into building the portal#smth about how danny knows somewhere that they could improve because they were good before. but they aren't and she wonders#who they love more: their daughters. or ghosts? (the answer is their daughters but danny finds this out in a way she doesnt expect)#that beginning song lyric is from “after all” by christine ebersole btw. its danny's theme song for the au.#i thank god every day for being a daycare teacher because the word 'daddy' has been CLEANSED for mEEEEEEEEEEE
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in light of tedtrent becoming so real, im also jumping on the tedtrent epilogue 😊
there's just no way ted wouldn't keep in touch with the others (and have weekly zoom meetings just like in the christmas special) and I just love the thought of the whole team having reunions once in a while.
and going back to trent's arc in s3, the sunflowers conversation, "And your daughter?" "She's never been happier." I think it could go the same for ted.. we've never really properly saw how henry felt about his dad being in london, it's always other people that told ted his son misses him, who's to say henry would rather see his dad happy because that in turn would make him happy too? he was there to win the whole thing, right? I just know ted’s story isn’t done yet when he still hasn’t learned to let others take care of him in return and who else to pair him with than the man who blew up his career because a man was nice to him (and also because they were so. so cruel for the fakeout tedbecca scenes for that finale) 🥺
I'm no writer so just pretend these are snapshots of a slow burn fic where ted visits london for their team reunion and slowly realizes that trent has a crush on him and they kiss about it 💛
#ted lasso#trent crimm#tedependent#ted lasso fanart#tedtrent#ted x trent#I HAVE SOOOOOO MUCH MORE THOUGHTS ABOUT THIS BTW its just that its 4am rn and i cannot type down my thoughts for the life of me </3#im just so not over that ending and how weird it felt for ted to end his story like that.. not like he can turn back to michelle since#dr. jacob is right there.. i want this man to feel loved and cared for and actually have a place he knows he can call home and that was#richmond for me.. to the family we were born with. and to the family we make along the way etc etc etc#ted lasso spoilers#<- FORGOT ABOUT THAT.#i can finally say i loved the ending for all the callbacks and stuff but I NEED THIS MAN TO BE HELDDDD!!!!! *everything explodes around me*#he even went back there WITHOUT BEARD :( his bestfriend for sooo long who was there for all their ups and downs. i dont like beard and jane#being together but the fact ted didnt even go to their wedding too like ...??! what is going onnnn#also graying lasso is just something so indulgent for me . hush#pn.art#JUST YKNOW!!! I HOPE YALL UNDERSTAND WHAT IM SAYING ITS REALLY REALLY LATE I PROBABLY SHOULDVE WAITED TILL LATER TO POST THIS BUT JAHJVAKDG#my memory is really bad too so i could also be misremembering scenes and im too eepy to check the scenes i had in mind so u_u#ALSO apologies that its taking me sooo long to draw things i recently joined a mc server and ive been playing it all day and night HFSJGFSH#im sooo scared of making these type of posts because i dont have the balls to make the wrong choices in other people's eyes but GRAAH!!!!!#<- i love tedtrent bUT WHAT IF PEOPLE THINK IM CRINGGGEEEE!!!!!#THATS ALL.... i have more drawings in mind that ill get around to later.. for now goodnight <3
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harbinger banquet ✨
scara live reaction across the long table ^
i have stuff to yap about this piece! as you may notice harbinger!yue’s name there is ‘brighella’ which is taken from commedia dell’arte (following all the other harbingers names) so i took one from there too! BUT her real name is still yue, just like how arlecchino is called arlecchino but her real name is peruere or how tartaglia’s real name is ajax and so on ^^
harbinger!yue’s codename is ‘the prevaricator’ which basically gives a bit of an insight to her character — a cunning and deceitful individual who avoids the truth when speaking. (this may or may not have led to her rank being unacknowledged !!!) her codename also relates to her commedia dell’arte name in some way since brighella is known as a masterful liar.
i do want to make an ‘about: the prevaricator’ voiceline from wanderer himself KSJJSJDJSKAKS (since i made him one with yue (the akademiya scholar) too ><
also, i did do one with just ‘yue’ but it felt so out of place hence why i used a commedia dell’arte name for harbinger!yue :3 anyway thabk u for coming to my yap session
#yue’s art#genshin!yue#okay OKAY#KAJDKSJS i spent like how many days doing this and it turned out somewhat okay (at least i actually kinda like how it looks!)#HARBINGER!YUE ATTENDING THE HARBINGER BANQUETTTTTTTT#(also a certain puppet’s present wink wonk)#ik he drooling across the table rn……..#LMFAOOKSNDKSJSMDMD#anywho i found this really fun and i will be doing more of these#<- specifically eyeing yue version with kabukimono (i think that one would just be me being a shrine maiden and meeting him while he#wandered around inazuma)#but we shall see!#i love self shipping w scara sm because u can have three different versions of it like wow thank you for giving me versatility <3#genshin impact oc#genshin oc#also this is queued cause like im running away scared !
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the thoughts this picture gives me are so insane that even tumblr has sent me an “are you okay” message
#WHEN I TELL YOU#THE THINGS I WOULD DO TO THIS PERFECT MAN#maximus can turn me into a traditional woman any day and i don’t even care#he is SO#he’s so BIG AND STRONG AND MANLY#like??? can you imagine if i was actually married to him???#every day i would be drowning in the overwhelming love and affection i have for him#he sits down in a chair like this for 2 seconds and i’m all over him#he would never get any peace#i am in his lap with my legs wrapped around him#just kissing every inch of his skin i can reach#and like???#his hands!!!!#they’re so!! big and strong and capable!!!!#i’m freaking out over how much of his thigh you can see in this picture#LET ME LICK IT I AM BEGGING YOU#no attempts at removing me from the premises today unfortunately#the horniness will not be suppressed#his ARMS#i’m doing him so good we leave permanent imprints on each other’s skin I SWEAR#i want him to just PIN ME TO THE WALL AND LET ME TOUCH HIM OR SMTH#he can take the tunic off and let me kiss every inch of his muscles until he’s all breathless and shivery#OR he can just leave it on literally i will take him any way he wants if#LET ME GET IT OUT OF MY SYSTEM#screaming about him so loud all my neighbors’ dogs wake up and think the end of the world has come#gladiator#maximus#maximus decimus meridius#gladiator 2000#russell crowe
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Madam Yu defenders will be like "Madam Yu was a complex person with a tragic life and though none of that excuses her actions, it does explain them so please stop reducing to her to a monster and a caricature of an evil woman" and her haters will respond "so you condone child abuse"
#yu ziyuan#mdzs#madam yu#mdzs discourse#literally no one is claiming what she did was ok. we literally just want you to see the humanity in her and stop lying about her#because there are so few critics out there about the shit she actually did#like the only actually interesting critical take I've seen about her is how she taught the kids she raised pettiness violence and vengeance#most of the shit I've seen on the madam yu tag is just fanfic about how she punished wwx for trying to learn about his parents#or fanfic about her trying to kill him every day or stunt his cultivation#or the wildest fanfic I've seen so far- claiming that she cheated on jfm and that jc is an affair child and she's projecting on wwx#like none of that happened but yall hate her so much you're convinced its canon#but of course when it comes to the men you can find the humanity in murderers and cannibals#and then these same fucking people will turn around and accuse mxtx of being sexist
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the way it kinda just dawned on me we're never seeing alistair again
#which in its own way makes sense and it's lucky we had him for all 3 games if he survived origins#i mean i wouldn't want his VA back anyway but god damn brain why is this hitting now#but also while realising this i suddenly felt petty on behalf of the zevran romancers like#there was all this speculation (for good reason!) that zevran would appear in DA4 but considering we can't choose anything about dao/da2#i imagine he just straight up won't be acknowledged at all considering we can either kill him when we meet him or when he 'betrays' you#or they're gonna turn around and say he's canonically alive. which they'll probably do with blackwall/iron bull too despite what can happen#but that's a whole thing and not the point but man i was having such a nice day for a change and this is hitting way harder than it should#i wonder if there's going to be any new info/resolution on curing the calling. man's in his 40's now and has 10 years left if he's lucky#considering griffons are back i suppose anything is possible#dragon age veilguard#alistair theirin
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OH YEAH NO THATS GONNA HAUNT ME FOR AGES. MIKKSY SAYING PLAYBOYS AS HE PHONES INTO A FINNISH RADIO STATION COMPLETELY FUCKING PISSED
the whole exchange is so good (x)
#niko mikkola#florida panthers#if youll excuse me that audio is going to haunt me till the end of time#“has lunka been calling in?” he says like a big brother checking to see if his little brother is doing well in school#finns: unhinged edition#calling in while drunk...2 days in a row#“hey so sasha people are saying youre diligent and that youll start training for the fall early”#sasha with absolute no hesitation “one can get their steps in walking around tampere with the cup right?”#hes always been delightfully witty but with the air of “i just won a cup” it becomes so much hotter#so dumb the way my brain stuttered over mikksy saying miami#unfortunately i am just a boy with an embarrassing crush please dont look at me#niko “we have a week to reflect and enjoy what we did [win the cup] and enjoy this” mikkola#aleksander “*turning to lundy* will you have time to think about it” barkov#anton “no i wont” lundell#sasha loves putting lundy in his place any chance he gets#theyre all like cats poking their heads out the door and fighting over who gets to peak first MY TURN NO MY TURNNNN MY TURN ON SPEAKERPHONE#amazing no notes truly
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Sophie Shepard & Kaidan Alenko (ME1) 1/?
MIRA'S MORE CANON ME1 "After everything that happened with Zaeed, Caleston, and the Villa? I think need to tell you a few things about BAaT." "Well, after everything that happened with Zaeed, Caleston, and the Villa? I think I might owe you an explanation about how I really know Anderson." AKA: Zaeed Massani and the case of the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad message ping. :) Mass Effect: Legendary Edition (2021)
#mira makes gifs ✨#sophie shepard#kaidan alenko#shenko#mass effect#mass effect legendary edition#me#dailygaming#morecanonmasseffect#otp: you’re real enough for me#hi my name is mira and i like taking the most convoluted route to make gifs of my blorbos :)#the devil on my shoulder told me to do an LE1 mesh swap and i should not have listened lmao but IT TURNED OUT CUTE SO IT WAS WORTH IT :)#alright if we’re nailing down canon all of this happens at the villa technically?? so not even on the normandy lmao but we don’t have that#so this is as close as i could get it. and soph pulling up kaidan felt more canon to me in the ✨context✨#so we MESH SWAPPED BABY and now i have the power of kaidan alenko as shep to make AU gifs#LE1 mesh swaps might hurt my soul but eden prime calls my name :)#all of this happens at soph’s favorite spot overlooking the villa which is where they have the baat/anderson conversations :)#the most canon thing from this is the interruption of the kiss which isn’t joker in soph’s canon it’s zaeed lmao#he bypasses the mute on her omni-tool to bug her about coming to grab his shit from the normandy he didn’t grab earlier in the day#the eye roll in that one gif? she is internalizing her rage#her inner thoughts are literally something along the lines of#‘zaeed massani i am literally going to fucking kill you and strip your viper for parts’ in canon lol#i said fuck it to me1 canon and decided they get together early. caleston is the first mission. it just makes sense for them honestly#i could go on a 30 rant tag about just that but i think it’s just like a *when you know* and a trust thing#especially for soph who has issues trusting people and there’s always been a feeling in the back of her head of knowing she can trust him#and in soph!canon i think it goes the same in reverse for kaidan because i think there’s sort of a ‘lone biotic’ stigma around him#and i think they were both drawn to each other because it was easy to see *someone* to trust under the lone biotic and the sole survivor#‘someone’ i use that word a lot in canon :) but i think they’re both trusting of each other early on because they see foils in one another#and i think they both feel on the outside a bit in a way. kindred spirits. which is probably why they fall hard fast :)#i probably ranted too much like i always do because i treat the tags like a TEDtalk but have a good day as always friend! 💙
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#just saw that tweet abt pink days on the set of the barbie movie & i think it made me realize why it - the marketing etc - annoys me so#'margot robbie went around collecting fines and donated them to charity haha' okay. look.#that's just the perfect metaphor for how it worked for us - me - anyone who wants to align themselves with me - when we were girls#isn't it#because you grow up and you desperately want to fit in with the other girls but you don't & you don't know why#but you're surrounded by things and people telling you what a normal girl is like & little-to-none of it is things you find appealing or#interesting. makeup and fashion and skin care. gymnastics and romance. you're told that you are obligated to be pretty#but prettiness has never been part of your perception of yourself. femininity is an arcane concept#an exclusive club that will never grant you entrance#& the only comfort you can give yourself is deciding that it's dumb anyway. shallow. vain. who cares about looks and boys and all of that#idiots that's who#but this is Doing It Wrong too isn't it? because now everyone who has taught you that you will forever fail at femininity turns around#& tells you that's patriarchal oppression and YOU'RE the bad one by distancing yourself from something that always made you feel defective#'YOU may have never lived up to this impossible standard of perfection but some ppl do and actually it's fine to be like that!#hyperfeminine traditionally beautiful women are the most oppressed group of all & finally we will stand up for our rights!'#'girls can be pretty AND conpetent' but that's not what they're actually saying. isn't it.#because performing femininity correctly is the prerequisite. a threshold you can never cross and you know that. & that's fine#but somehow that's wrong too because you're not supposed to make peace w that are you. you're SUPPOSED to want to do it right#even if you don't and never have and never will#and once again everyone is yelling at you that this club isn't meant for you. if you criticize the barbie movie you're antifeminist#if you refuse to wear pink I'll make you pay a fine#hashtag girlpower#(well im not a girl. not a guy either. and not a secret third thing. just bad at femininity.#bad at being a person. and y'all don't need to tell me you don't want me in your club#I've always known that. i just wish you'd stop expecting me to beg for entrance.)
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sometimes people who struggle like to make jokes or find positives about their condition that causes them to struggle so they can escape the constant negative and struggle. sometimes autistic people will say things like "the 'tism" or use the "autism creature" or say their autism helped them have a *positive trait* to feel better about their struggles. because living your life only focusing on the struggles and negatives is depressing and makes it hard to want to live, even if those struggle take up 100% of your life and you can't actually escape them. sometimes any little seemingly positive thing can help a lot.
but there's so many other autistic people that hate when we do that and call it "reducing autism to a cute trendy thing" and say it takes away from *their* struggles and is bad and shouldn't be used. maybe *you* want to only focus on your struggles, but some people can't live in constant negative and need some positive or to find ways to make their condition more positive so they can feel better about living with their struggles. life is hard. I take anything I can get.
I cant get jobs. I can't make and keep friends. I can't get help and support for doing "normal" things so sometimes I go weeks without being able to shower and without eating more than a bowl of cereal a day. most times can't even do things I like. struggle to communicate. have meltdowns. i'll never be able to live independently. I struggle a lot. but instead of sitting here always depressed and having no motivation to live, i'd rather try to joke about "my 'tism is acting up again" when i'm struggling (just an example. don't think I ever actually used the 'tism thing but i saw others use it) or say "i'm just being a creature" when I need to stay in my dark room because everything is too much and I personally find it cute to be a little creature meant in a positive way. i'm not actually downplaying mine or anyone else's struggles. I still acknowledge them and that silly jokes dont make them go away. i'm not trying to be trendy. i'm not doing any of the things people say we do by making silly little jokes. i'm using the silly little jokes to convince myself life can be a little more than pointless, painful garbage all the time.
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#dont know why continuing in tags but here is more#sometimes we need to ask “why” and not just get mad about how we feel personally. because other people feel differently#yes im guilty of only thinking my feelings and situation and how it relates too and forgetting other peoples. i also need to learn#and everyone's feelings should be valid. just because something might “hurt” you it might be important for someone else#everyones feelings are valid. but we cant protect everyones feeling. so idk the solution#but stopping someone from having a small positive among a sea of nevgative seems a little mean to me#youre not being empathetic to their side. and i can turn it around and be not empathetic to your side and say stop being upset#and get over it and let people have fun. but i wont. i hear you. but at the same time maybe hear us too.#not everyone wants to live only negatively. youre allowed to but dont expect others to.#and yes i GET IT these things can make the allistics and neurotypicals be even worse towards us. but what do we do?#throw out any positivity we can find and grovel in our struggles because the allistics wont take us seriously?#DO THEY TAKE US SERIOUSLY WITHOUT THOSE SILLY TRENDY THINGS? NO! THEY NEVER HAVE#like i said i dont know the solution and everything still be used against us by those people anyway so might as well have fun?#if we focus on struggles they baby us and dont let us do things and block us from living life#if we focus on positive they dismiss our struggles and try to make us do what we cant and dont help us#we cant win! so its not “the 'tism” or whatever other things people made up that cause them to act this way#they already act that way and wont stop unless we figure out how to teach them! but i dont know how! im just a useless little creature#this is probably controversial and someone will get because i dont agree with their perspective despite respecting it#someome will comment to lecture me even though i get it. i do. but two things can exist at the same time!! idk what to tell you!#autistic#autism#actually autistic#lee rambles#words are hard so dont know if i worded it well or not. probably not#also why take away fun things because another group used it for bad? make them stop the bad not stop the good!#i also might be missing more context. i think is about tiktok using these for bad. tiktok is just bad in general and i refuse to use it#why tiktok dictate and ruin our lives now in general? tiktok is really bad 😂 but that another conversation#no one yell at me and say i dismiss struggles of struggling autistics. maybe you dismiss me needing negative thing to have positive?#not in mood for negative response. will probably cry fhhddhsjdjdjkd#today is real struggle day but if i be little creature i feel better
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pretty minor thing to think about, but i find it interesting how chapter 7 is the first chapter illustration to show chizuutan as chizuru (instead of chuutan)
like, i get it’s a flashback chapter, but we hardly got to see her as chizuru in the previous few chapters thus far… maybe we’ll get to see more of her as her true self after the hiyori fight/make up? only future chapters may tell, i guess…
#there’s like 5 weeks to go till chapter 6 is released into the rest of the world and i m n o t r e a d y—#man. chapter 5 still manages to ruin my mood no matter how many times i read it… man.#i was having so much fun with renren and concon and the 3 stooges and th e n.#imagine putting on a (somewhat) perfect/cute act to hide your true self because you know you’re unlovable the way you are#but then someone else runs along and screws up every step of the way without putting on any airs and is adored for it anyway…#i imagine chapter 6 will be much worse. especially since the start of the flashback begins there…#i sincerely hope the flashback ends in chapter 7 bc aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#though. considering where we are now in the series. i think there’s a chance that vol 2 will come out at the end of december#ch 8 will prolly start to drop somewhere around the later half of november so it seems about right…#b u t if there’s the preorder bonus manga for vol 2 in dec can we have santa girl chuutan in it p l s—#i think we’ll need an incredibly cute bonus feature to lift the mood from whatever the heck’s going on with vol 2’s chapters#bc. idk. im sensing some self hatred with this one chizuchan… it’s as though she can only love herself if she’s dolled up as chuutan…#like. even in her aizo self-insert delusions she’s thinking of herself as chuutan… maybe im reading too much into this. hm.#but then again she even puts on makeup when she’s at home in her own room…#w a i t a sec what if this wack behaviour only came about bc of what’s about to be revealed in the flashbacks. wait. no. w h a t if—#i hope manga chizuchan will be able to love herself properly soon… we all love you chizuchan~~~~~~~~~~#this. too. is our oshi no—#dammit why is something set in the same universe as the [redacted] anime making me feel things??? i hate itttttttttt#anyways. wh. what if one of the h10w turns out to be an anime adaptation of the chizuchan manga#and they’re just waiting on. like. the final vol to announce it.#it’d make the most sense for an anime series at this point… since chizuchan is marketable and it’s set in the same anime verse#so there’s no inconsistencies to retcon and such…#but!!!! most importantly!!!!!! we’d be able to see animated renren and concon!!!!!!!#…but something like this will only appear in my delusions huh~~~~~~~~~~~~~~#mousou dake no kawaikute gomen anime#ok that’s enough thinking for the day; back to kimikawaii mv g o o d b y e~~~~#chizuutan chizpost
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