pretty0purple

[deus-ex-mona]

pretty minor thing to think about, but i find it interesting how chapter 7 is the first chapter illustration to show chizuutan as chizuru (instead of chuutan)

like, i get it’s a flashback chapter, but we hardly got to see her as chizuru in the previous few chapters thus far… maybe we’ll get to see more of her as her true self after the hiyori fight/make up? only future chapters may tell, i guess…

[starspatter]

Heroes and Thieves, Ch. 11

Title: Heroes and Thieves Fandom/Universe: BTAS, pre/post-RotJ flashback

Summary: A story about second chances, healing, and having hope.

Rating: PG-13, for references to character death, child psychological torture and trauma.

Genre: Romance/Family/Friendship/Hurt/Comfort

Word Count: 4,380 Previous Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10

Also on ff.net and AO3.

There was a time when I was alone Nowhere to go and no place to call home My only friend was the man in the moon And even sometimes he would go away, too

-Ruth B, "Lost Boy"

————————–

Before.

“Batman, wait!”

Robin was too late; Batman had already charged ahead by ruthlessly breaking down the door to the house with the sole of his boot.  A low-key villain calling himself “Cluemaster” (whom Robin had incidentally never heard much of until now compared to the likes of Riddler or Joker, having supposedly gone “straight” for a couple years – at least according to Batman) had led them on a lengthy chase, and they ended up pursuing him all the way out to a small neighborhood in the suburbs.  As they infiltrated the dwelling, Robin hastily checked around to make sure no homeowners were present who could be caught in the fray – or worse, taken as collateral.

Fortunately the room was empty, aside from their glaringly orange-clad target in the middle of it, reaching for one of the plasti-glass pellets attached to the front of his costume. Batman had already anticipated the move though and launched forward faster than the other, lurching a blurred glove into his opponent’s throat, which caused him to drop the canister as his body was slammed hard against the wall.

“You’re under arrest for multiple counts of grand larceny, Cluemaster.  Or should I say, Arthur Brown?”

With his other hand, he grasped at the bandana covering the lower half of the man’s face, which had already come loose from the force of impact.  He jerked the rest of the kerchief off to expose a snarl under the guise, the owner evidently infuriated by the idea his identity had been so easily discovered.

“Now, where’s the money you stole?”

Arthur sneered.

“Why don’t I give you a clue to its whereabouts, and you can figure it out yourself, since you’re so smart?”

Batman growled as he grabbed his foe’s collar, lifting high into the air, letting free-dangling feet flail frantically.

“I don’t have time for these games.  Either you tell me voluntarily, or I’ll make you confess.”

Robin was getting anxious by the aggressiveness in Batman’s tone; making threats of violence wasn’t anything out of the ordinary, but he’d been out of sorts all night, acting excessively and extremely hostile, leaping into enemy territory with heedless disregard to danger – to himself or those around him.  Sans his usual sangfroid.  He was starting to sound like that time Scarecrow dosed him with a gas that took away all his fear, resulting in Batman almost taking a henchman’s life.  It had taken all of Robin’s strength to haul him back up after Batman cut the line…

The current captive seemed to be getting panicky too, as he quickly changed his attitude, appealing to sympathy instead.

“Listen, I’ve got a wife and kid.  They’re asleep upstairs.  I just needed the cash to help support them.  We’re in a bit of a financial jam, y’see…”

Robin’s conscience wavered, recalling the time they had to prevent a penniless man from holding up a drugstore in order to obtain medicine for his daughter, who was simply sick with a high fever.  Of course this was theft on a much greater scale, but he still couldn’t help having some lingering empathy – especially based on his own past experiences dealing with poverty.

“That's one of the hardest things about this job, Robin.  Sometimes we have to stop someone from doing the wrong thing for the right reason.”

“…Daddy?”

As if on cue, all three revolved towards the top of the staircase, where a young girl with golden curls – probably about his age – was standing in bare feet and violet nightgown, beholding the scene before her with baffled eyes, big and blue and broad.

“Darling, why don’t you go back to bed?”  Arthur choked out, his own eyes bulging as cheeks turned indigo as well.  “You’re just having a bad dream.”

“Arthur?  What’s going on here?  I heard a loud noise…”

Robin swallowed as a woman emerged from behind the adolescent, gripping the girl’s shoulders as she drew her daughter in protectively, eyeing the pair of home intruders with fear and suspicion.  The situation was steadily turning from bad to worse.  He hurriedly bounded up the steps, trying to block at least the shorter one’s view with his arms and cape, acting as both shield and shroud.

“Both of you should stay back…”

Batman’s prey put on a pleading, pathetic look.

“Now now, you wouldn’t hit a guy in front of his family, would you?”

While his quivering lips pouted, his pupils seemed to flash triumphant.  Robin felt a sick chill in his stomach.  Had he set this up just to take advantage of innocent citizens – and his provider status for them – as an alibi?

Whatever the reason, Batman wasn’t falling for it.  While he slowly lowered his fist, he continued to glower viciously at his victim.

“I’m still taking you in. The police will be here soon, they can interrogate you.  And if you don’t admit to them, well…”  He leaned in close, crescent slivers narrowing.  Intimidating.  “They’ll just have to call me.”

With that, he twisted his prisoner around, pressing head harshly against partition again as he slapped a pair of handcuffs on.  Robin sensed the two frightened females peering over his shoulders, crying and clinging to each other as sirens started to wail outside, and the junior one almost looked like she was about to join them.   He thought about reaching out to try and comfort her, but a cold bark from Batman halted him.

“Let’s go, Robin.”

“But Batman-”

“Now.”

He was already halfway out the side exit when he said this, and, after a moment’s hesitation, Robin bit his lip and vaulted over the railing to race after him, cloak whisking out of sight just as officers began filing in.  As they headed back towards the Batmobile parked in the shadows close by, Robin hissed his irritation.

“You know, there were a million other ways you could’ve handled that.”

“I did what was necessary in order to get him to talk.  The police should have an easier time of it now.”

“Yeah, but did you have to do it while his wife and child were watching?  This is exactly the reason Nightwing left you, remember?”

Batman blatantly ignored the bold declaration of disapproval as his pager began to beep: a message from Batgirl, requesting backup.

“Armed robbery in progress, escalated to a hostage situation over on the north side.  We’re needed.”

“Did you even hear what I just said?”

Batman brusquely cut him off.

“We’ll discuss this later, at home.  Now get in the car.”

Robin grumbled, but grudgingly obeyed.

They never did discuss it though.  Concurring collectively, both Batman and Batgirl determined there were too many hired guns in the building, deeming it far too “risky” to bring Robin – the “kid” – along. …Plus it was a school night.  So Batman swung swiftly by the manor on the way, dropping Robin – Tim – off unceremoniously at the front gate despite loud and adamant protests, where Alfred was waiting to pick him up and march him straight on inside to get changed and ready for dinner.

“And ‘don’t forget to do your homework’,’” Tim mimicked Bruce’s reprimanding voice with a querulous whine as the vehicle sped off, leaving him in the dust.  “God, he still treats me like such a child.”

The butler patted his charge’s back consolingly, ushering within.

“Come along, Master Timothy. There are cookies and cocoa waiting for you inside – after you finish with your studies, that is.  We wouldn’t want to spoil your appetite, now would we?”

Tim shot an exasperated expression at the patronizing statement, but acquiesced.  Upon entering, he immediately tore off the mask and tossed it on the table in frustrated anger, flopping sullenly onto the couch without even bothering to remove the rest of the suit.  Alfred tutted, but made no remark as he disappeared into the kitchen, promising food would be served shortly.

As Tim gazed at the fireplace, he stewed over Batman’s earlier reckless – not to mention downright rude – behavior.  How could he even be so cruel and insensitive?  It wasn’t just the bossing around that bugged him, but he was genuinely rather troubled by Bruce’s mental state.  …Truth be told, he had a guess as to the cause for callousness.  He’d noticed a common trend in increasing indiscretion (and intractability) after their latest visit to Arkham, when they stopped by Two-Face’s cell following another escape – and subsequent suicide attempt.  Ever since he’d developed a third personality who judged himself guilty and sentenced to death for his sins, his condition had been gradually worsening.  It was to the point he – and his coin – had to be kept under constant watch and isolated lockdown.

Tim was never really sure how to feel about Two-Face (in the same way his chest was always confused and ached a little whenever he faced Clayface).  The man murdered his father; Tim supposed he should hate him for that. In addition, he’d even once mercilessly electrocuted Nightwing with a wire taser, forcing the senior superhero’s heart to completely stop.  …Had he not promptly administered CPR and literally brought his brother back from the brink of death, he might have lost another family member that day.

But, according to Dick, Bruce and Harvey had been good friends once – which explained why his guardian always bore a grieved semblance whenever they went up against Dent.  …Tim tried to imagine what it must be like, to watch one’s once close companion fight a losing battle against himself.  Clearly it was taking a capricious toll on the old man’s emotional and psychological well-being as well, making him far more mercurial and volatile – prone to violent vagaries.

Yet, even Tim recognized that didn’t excuse him taking it out on others, especially when it interfered with their work.  (Frankly that didn’t seem to be the only thing distracting recently either, given Batman and Batgirl had been ditching him more and more often as of late, citing his “immaturity” as pretense.  …But he didn’t really want to think about that right now.)  He was concerned about that girl as well.  Screw Batman, he should’ve stayed to try and talk to her.  At least give her some reassurance after witnessing such a harrowing event.

Making up his mind, he snatched his domino from the counter and was out the door (cautiously evading the security cameras he knew were watching overhead) just as Alfred came to call him for dinner.  Upon finding the parlor empty, and after exhausting all other options of where the lad might have gone to within the mansion (including underground area), the caretaker finally murmured in alarm.

“…Oh dear.”

…

It took Robin longer to get back by grapple alone, but eventually he made it to his destination. Descending on the rooftop from a nearby tree, he tiptoed towards a single annexed dormer window which jutted prominently from the tiles.  Testing the lucarne’s latch, it luckily wasn’t locked and slid open with relative ease. Silently slipping in, he was greeted almost instantly by an unpredicted punch to the face.

As he was thrown flat onto the bed, survival instinct triggered to roll over and try to fight back, but his own fists arrested when he saw his assailant was the same girl from before, glaring at him with mistrust.

“Who are you?!  Some kind of creepazoid stalker?”

“Whoa, whoa!  It’s me, Robin.  You know, from before?”

She stared at him, realization dawning.

“Oh.  …Sorry.  I didn’t know it was you.”

The way she said it, she still didn’t seem very impressed.

“…I’d hate to be someone you were expecting,” Robin muttered, rubbing at his sore jaw.

She folded her arms firmly.

“So?  What the heck are you doing here?  Again?”

“I- I just wanted to check and see if you were okay, after… all that.”

An eyebrow raised.

“And you thought coming in through the window was the best way to go about it?”

“…In hindsight that might not have been the best plan,” he acknowledged, repentant.  “Sorry.  Being with him tends to rub off on you.  I apologize if he scared you earlier.  He’s really not a bad guy.”

She exhaled, letting her limbs down.

“No, my father is, right? …It’s okay.  I know who and what my dad is.  He deserves to go to jail.”

Robin cocked in confusion at this unanticipated acceptance.

“But… He’s still your dad.”

“Yeah, and I hate him.” Her knuckles clenched, tightening. “He just wanted to use Mom and me to get away with his crimes.  We’re basically just tools, a means to an end for him.  He’s a total class-A jerk.”

Robin blinked, unsure how to respond to that.  He certainly hadn’t been prepared for this outcome.  An uncomfortable hush filled the chamber, which he idly noted details of as he glanced around nervously.  He’d never actually been in a girl’s room before, so he wasn’t sure what to expect.  He supposed the piles of stuffed animals and boy band posters were probably typical, though he was surprised to see some large prints of Superman lining the walls, and a bulletin board covered with newspaper clippings of Batman and Robin – mostly his predecessor – busting the Cluemaster’s previous petty heists.  She apparently wasn’t kidding when she said she had it in for her father.  (…The image felt almost eerily familiar, reminding of the days when he kept a similar chronicle in a corner of his own pops’ apartment, much to the old man’s displeasure.)

“…You’ve got weird taste for a girl,” he mused aloud.

“And you’ve got weird fashion sense for a boy,” she retorted, nose wrinkling.

“Hey, I didn’t design the suit,” he huffed defensively.

“And who did?  Your mom?”

Robin winced a bit, but bit his tongue.  “…Would you believe me if I said Batman?”

She sniffed.  “I mean seriously, what’s with that getup anyway? It’s so bright, it makes you look like a clown.”

Fed up with her criticism, he started to skulk back towards the outlet again.

“Look, I didn’t come here just to be insulted.”

A hand reached out to clasp his wrist, and he rotated to see her regarding him sincerely.

“Sorry, I was just joking. …You don’t have to leave.”

He gulped, blushing a little at the light touch.  The last time a girl held his hand like this for so long, she’d followed with a…

“Um, okay.”  He rubbed the back of his neck uneasily, growing tense as she inclined forward and grinned – before passing him by to hop onto the sill instead, sticking out her tongue at him.

“Ladies first.”

He whirled around in shock as she stepped out over the ledge.

“Hey, what do you think you’re doing?  That’s dangerous, get back here.”

“Relax, I do this all the time.  Besides, you jump around rooftops every night, don’t you?”

He impulsively climbed after her, keeping a careful eye on her footing, hovering close behind in case she fell.  But, true to her word, she did seem to have practiced this pattern many times before, effortlessly picking her way over the slates to the top, where she plopped down and petted the spot next to her.  Indicating invitation.  Tentatively, he took it and traced her wondering sightline to the stars above.

“…You know, I used to dream I’d see the Batman someday.  Drifting across the moon, dark against the night sky…”  She hugged her knees to her breast.  “This is the first time I’ve actually seen him in person.  For a second, I almost thought he was a monster.”

Robin remained quiet as she continued.

“But, my dad’s the real monster.  I know he’s hurt a lot of people – myself and Mom included.  He doesn’t care about us at all.”

“How come she doesn’t just divorce him?”

“She can’t afford a lawyer to kick him out.  He still owns the mortgage on the house.”

She smiled bitterly, drawing circles on the shingles.

“As a kid, I used to think about running away.  Getting on a plane and going somewhere far, far away from here.  Someplace exotic, where no one knows who I am or where I come from – like Africa.  …But, I could never do that to my Mom.  She’d be lonely if I left.  Even though she has some… ‘difficulties’, I still love her.”

She looked at Robin, who was still listening attentively.  Patiently.

“Sorry,” she mumbled in a slightly sheepish manner.  “I’m just making you sit through my random rambling.  I don’t usually get a chance to talk to anyone about this, let alone someone my age.  Having a lame, insane supercriminal for a dad isn’t exactly something I can tell all my friends at school.”

“It’s all right.  I wish there was more I could do to help…”

He replied, feeling as utterly useless – hopeless – as when he came across a bunch of homeless youths in his hunt for Annie after they’d gotten separated, the ragtag group of street rats sleeping together on a filthy mattress in an abandoned shelter; huddled under each other for warmth, sharing but one thin, dingy blanket between them.  (…The kind of neglected kid he could’ve easily ended up as had he not happened to be so lucky, to be “chosen” – caught before he slipped through the cracks into faded obscurity and was overlooked – forgotten – by society.)  There were some things punches and kicks just couldn’t fix.

“You’ve already done more than enough, thanks.  I’m grateful to you both for putting a stop to him.  …Even if it’s probably only temporary.”

“There has to be something that can be done though.”

“Really, you don’t have to go out of your way or anything.  Besides, why do you care so much anyway?”

He shrugged, surveying the distance.  “Maybe it’s because you kinda remind me of someone.”

She scanned his wistful countenance, scrutinizing closely.

“…Was she cute?”

“What- no.  I mean yes.  I mean, uh-” Robin stammered, flushing red as he was abruptly taken aback by the unexpected inquiry.  She giggled in snorting amusement at his oh-so-obvious reaction.

“Relax, Boy Wonder, I’m just teasing you.”

He coughed, regaining composure.

“To be honest, that’s not the only reason.  My dad wasn’t much of a prize either.  …Although he can’t compete with yours.”

“Ehhh?”  She gaped at him in astonished awe.  “But he’s so cool!”

“Huh?”  He puzzled for a beat, then it clicked what she was talking about.  “Oh, you think that Batman’s- no, he’s not my real dad.  I’m not even sure I would even go so far as to call him much of a ‘father figure’ actually.  He’s more like a… mentor?”

It was her turn to listen as he ruminated, reflecting.

“He saved me though. Took me in when I had no place else to go.  Gave me a second chance.  I’ve… done things I’m not exactly proud of either.  If he hadn’t found me, I’d likely be dead or in jail myself right now.”

Sensing a buzzing interruption from his waist – a warning summons from the butler no doubt – he consulted the timestamp in the corner of the display, and cringed upon calculating how much interval had elapsed in his absence.

“…Speaking of which, I should probably get back soon.  Batman’s gonna kill me once he finds out I’m gone without letting anyone know.”

Her forehead creased with contriteness.

“You didn’t have to go that far for me…”

“Hey, don’t sweat it. It’s the least I could do.”

She looked reluctant to end the conversation though.  He wondered if he was the first person she’d ever been this open to about her feelings. …After some thought, he fished around in a pocket and pulled out another spare backup communicator.

“Listen, don’t tell anyone about this; Batman doesn’t like me lending out tech.  But if you ever need anything, you can get in touch with me on this.  I’ll come as soon as I can.  …Only if it’s an emergency though.  He’ll really give me an earful if he finds out I’m using our gadgets for personal stuff.”

She looked down at the device in trepidation.

“Is it really okay for me to have this?”

“Yeah.  It’s no problem, don’t worry.  I know how to keep a secret.  And I’ll definitely stop by again sometime, so we can hang out some more if you want.  Whaddya say?”

Her eyes lit up, and- without warning, she flung her arms around him in an appreciative hug (that very nearly knocked him off balance).

“…Thanks, Robin.”

His hue embarrassed again, but he gently reciprocated the gesture.

“Hey, what are heroes for?”

After an awkwardly long minute, she propelled back from the embrace with a self-conscious laugh.  Once the rapid beating in both their ribs had calmed down (and she’d surreptitiously wiped some tears from her face), she afforded him a somewhat odd look.

“…What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, it’s just… Calling you ‘Robin’ feels kinda weird.  It’s like a girl’s name.”

“Hey, it can be a boy’s name too,” he sulked in indignation.  “Besides, at least it is a name.”

She shook her head, concentrating intently on him as she contemplated.  After a bit, she brightened with sudden brilliance.

“I know!  I’ll call you ‘Peter’ – since you came in through the window.  …And ‘cuz of the tights.”

Robin blanched as she pointed playfully at his leggings.

“…I think I’d rather be called ‘Robin’.”

“Nope,” she cheerfully announced.  “You’re ‘Peter’ to me now.”

Robin sighed, but didn’t object further to the nickname.  It wasn’t like he could tell her his real title.

“Fine.  ‘Peter’ it is then.  …Does that make you ‘Wendy’?”

She smirked with a wink.

“If you want me to be.”

He blinked, clearing his throat as he stood up, almost stumbling over his heels as he backed up in haste.

“Right.  Well then.  Wendy.  …Guess I’ll see you around?”

“Yeah.  See ya.”

“…’Kay, bye.”

“’Kay, bye.”

He waved as he fired his grapple into the branches and swung away, and she merrily returned the motion. Elated, Robin’s spirit soared over heightening city structures back to the estate, performing as many flips and tricks as he could on the way.  …Although come to think of it, he had failed to ask for her actual name.  …Oh, well. There was always next time.

Rather than directly approach the porch or cave entrance, Robin thought about endeavoring to sneak back in through the second-story opening to his own bedroom, so he could pretend he’d been there all along.  …Unfortunately, as soon as he’d made it inside and detached his façade, he bumped straight into a severely stern-looking Bruce towering over him.

“Where the devil have you been?  We’ve been trying to contact you for the past hour.  Barbara’s out there searching all over for you right now.  Meanwhile I’ve had to help Alfred double-check every secret room and passage in the manor.  Do you know how long that takes?”

Tim merely shrugged.

“I went out for a stroll. Is that a crime?”

“In this house, it is. Do I need to start putting a tracer on your utility belt again?”

“No, sir,” he squeaked meekly.

Bruce heaved a grunt.

“Just hurry up and go get changed, young man.  Your dinner’s cold already.  Alfred made soup.  Make sure you apologize to him too, he’s been worried sick.”

“Yeah yeah, I hear ya, old man.”

“And did you finish your homework?”

Tim flinched.  He knew there was something else he’d forgotten.

“You had better get to it if you want to come patrolling with us tomorrow night.”

“I will.”

Before he vanished into the privacy of his enormous closet (which, in his own private opinion, was way too overly spacious – though no one would certainly hear him complain), Tim paused, calling softly back over his shoulder.

“Bruce.”

“What?”

“Thanks… for caring.”

…

About a month later, a couple men dressed in black arrived at the Brown residence, carrying grim, serious auras and stiff briefcases containing various important-looking official documents.  An obstinate Stephanie insisted on sitting down alongside her mother on the sofa as they discreetly disclosed the news she never once conceived she’d get to hear like this:

Her dad was dead.

Apparently he’d cut a deal while in prison, and became a part of something clandestinely known by a select few outside those in power as a “Suicide Squad”.  He’d perished while on a covert mission for the government, and – according to these strange men’s confidential report – he’d died a “heroic sacrifice”.

Stephanie didn’t know how to react.  What to feel. …How she was supposed to feel.

As she sat in her room, trying to write in her diary but coming up blank, her observation shifted to the window still left ajar each evening, through which a mild breeze blew. Opening her desk drawer, she retrieved the hidden miniature handset from the far back, tucked neatly behind all sorts of stationery.  She had avoided using it up to now, afraid of coming off as an annoyance.  …But she hadn’t seen Robin at all since then.  No one had.  Based on what she’d gathered from growing gossip, he’d been fully MIA over the course of the past few weeks, and rumors were starting to spread.  It was like his existence had been entirely erased, simply evaporated off the surface of the earth.  …She was worried about him too.

She pushed the button, hands shaking in mounting apprehension as she elevated to her ear.

There was a long, low hum of crackling static, before someone (presumably) picked up at last.

“…”

“Hello?”

“…Who is this?  How did you get access to this comm line?”

“I’m… a friend of Pet- Robin’s.  Is… he there?”

An extensive gap stretched.

“There is no more Robin.”

The pronouncement was deep. Disturbing.  Definite.

“Do not contact here again.”

With a final click, the other end hung up.

She tried, repeatedly – desperately – to dial back – but the machine seemed to have been remotely disconnected.  Slumping forward in defeat as she let go the last potential link – lifeline – she buried her face in her sleeves, and burst into sobs.

At length, she dried her sniffles and rose, dragging her feet to the wide frame.  Casting one last look of longing out at the pitch gloom, she shut the pane.  …Shutting out pain, and all the brief memories associated with it.

…

She never saw Robin again.

————————–

He sprinkled me in pixie dust and told me to believe Believe in him and believe in me Together we will fly away in a cloud of green To your beautiful destiny As we soared above the town that never loved me I realized I finally had a family

[prettieparker86]

In The Bleak Midwinter || Part 11

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6 Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10,  Part 12 & Part 13

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x Reader

Warning: Mentions of assault, flashbacks, threats

Gif Credit: @shesnake, @streitenfeld @sikanapanele @50feetwoman Thank you for letting me use your beautiful gifs!

Tag: @lainey-lane​, @pindlemouse, @ thelastemzy, @helloandreabeth, @fandoms-broke-my-life,  @shelbysbushblog, @accio-witty-username, @iamtheonewhocares, @infinitelycharmed23, @kingsmanstories, @shelby-gin-limited, @taylxr0, @sympathyfortheblinderdevil, @neversleeping4am, @icebluegriffin  @johhnshelby, @ subhamamu @ unicorn-glitter-princess @thatsamegirl, @mafaldaz, @cafe-sabor-a-chocolate

Authors Note: This was a very tough chapter to write. As the previous one, but I tried to approach the topic with honesty. This chapter starts two weeks after the incident, Tommy and Fiona are having to deal with the aftermath. Tommy is a very tough character to write especially in these situations, but I felt he would feel a great deal of guilt for not protecting her and he would blame himself that it happened. And Fiona is battling her own mixed feelings of guilt and shame, while also trying so move past something that isn’t so easily overcome.

I want to thank everyone for all the support for last chapter! That was a really tough one to write and I’m sure read. So your support was amazing!

As always likes, reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated! 

Tommy’s different. And if you’re honest, you knew in your heart he would be. Al took something that was his and tried to break it, and perhaps in Tommy’s eyes, succeeded. This is a man’s world. You remember your mother telling you that when you were a young girl, after you were caught rolling around in the dirt of the front yard with your brother Finn and his friends while your sister looked on in a huff, telling you to stop. 

You didn’t know what she meant then, but you learned soon enough. What happened to you, what was done, that was a man’s price, and in their world, you as a woman pay it. Most men understand that, but few understand what it’s like. Some try, but unless it’s happened to you… Unless you’ve carried the burden of a woman… Walked in her shoes… it’s hard to imagine… Even harder when she said yes.  

A place this small, a family this close, people know what happened. You did what you did, but it didn’t break you. That’s what you want them to know. You take great care to ensure you don’t appear troubled or afflicted. You refuse to be seen as weaker or lesser for what’s been done. It’s only at night the truth finds you. It’s only at night you can’t pretend. The pain in your eyes, it scares Tommy. He doesn’t say it, but you can see it. What happened that night changed him too.

 Tommy never spent much time with you during the day. His lack of presence doesn’t appear out the ordinary. Only those who knew what you were up to in the dark notice the different. Only they would know Tommy no longer shares your bed, but hovers about you like a new mother waiting for you to fall. He won’t let you out of his sight and if he can’t be there, his most trusted blinders are, or Arthur, or Finn. But Tommy won’t touch you, not like before. And that’s the hardest part, because looking in his eyes, you can’t tell if it’s because he’s afraid he’ll make it worse, or because he doesn’t see you the way he did before.

 You’re sound asleep, caught in the fight of slumber that only finds you in the dark, when your eyes close and your mind tries to rest. You’re fine, you tell yourself. You’ve been through worse. 

Surely being disowned and sent away by your family in your youth, pregnant and grieving the loss of the only man you ever loved, must be far worse than this. That was months of pain, years of grief. This? This was one night. That’s what you tell yourself even as your dreams weave a different tale entirely.

He finds you in the dark. The musky scent of his pungent cologne and sweaty skin seep up your nose. The forceful grip of his hands on your compliant body, the weight of him pressing and pushing you as he pleased. He’s the one who finds you in the dark.

It’s been nearly two weeks and still he finds you. Your breath is heavy and rapidly, moving in and out of your chest at a breaking necking speed as your heart pounds with a fury and your eyes shoot open with a start in the dark.

You stare up at the old weathered ceiling, paint peeling and hanging above you as you try to catch your breath. You don’t know what you were dreaming, and yet you know exactly what was unfolding. Sometimes the details are murky once you wake. Brought on by any mundane reminder in your day.

You force your breath to blow out slower, heavier - thick and moist as it leaves your lips. You’re trying to calm yourself down before you wake Finn beside you in bed, but then there’s a shift in the shadows. A movement – a change of light. 

Someone’s in the room with you, and instantly you’re sent into a raging panic as adrenaline floods through your veins. Your heart is pounding uncontrollably, breath shallow and rapid as you snatch the knife you now keep in the drawer of the bedside table and shoot up in bed ready for a fight.

“Easy Fee, easy. It’s me.” The familiar voice fills the otherwise silent air, husky and thick from a lack of sleep. 

You’d know the sound of it anyway, even before you recognize his blue eyes as your trembling hand slowly lowers the knife back to the table.

It’s Tommy, you realize. You’re eyes squinting as you take the sight of him seated on an old wooden chair just a few short feet from your bed. The sight of him throws you off completely. He wasn’t there when you fell asleep. 

Perhaps that’s why in all your panic you forgot that’s where he sleeps now. No, Tommy never leaves your side these days, but he won’t share your bed either. Hardly touches you at all. It’s the deepest kind of loneliness, when someone’s right next to you and miles away.

“You were dreaming.” Tommy tells you, as he leans forward in the chair, drawing closer to you.

Dreaming – the word bounces in your head like the hairpin trigger on an easily fired gun and suddenly a firing squad of flashes rapidly assault your mind. The feel of Al on top of you. Choking back your tears as you refused to break. His hand tightening on your neck, the pressure as you gasp. 

The dangerous unforgiving look in his eyes as he squeezed tighter and thrust harder into you with no mercy. You swear you can still feel him there – around your neck, between your thighs, and suddenly your stomach is flipping violently, a wave of nausea hitting you as it all comes back to you in a crushing wave.

Covering your mouth, you push out of the bed and stumble past Tommy. Dropping hard on your knees against the unforgiving hardwood floors in front of the pot at the far wall Poll keeps in case the little ones have to go in the night. You lean over it just in time to feel a retch violently wrack through you. Shaking violently through your body as you cough and gag, emptying your stomach into the old brass pot.

You don’t hear Tommy move over the sound of yourself retching, but you feel him crouch down beside you in the dark. Feel his knuckles run hesitantly down the length of your arm as he whispers your name.

“Fee…” You can’t deny the concern on his breath. 

Your heart is breaking in the dark. You feel so vulnerable and exposed as your wounds rip back open that as Tommy’s hand starts to pull away, you frantically reach for it, clutching it tight, needing someone to hold onto. But as Tommy squeezes your hand in return you remember, remember that he’s held you at a distance since the incident and you quickly jerk your hand back from him before he can pull away first.

“Mum?” Finn’s groggy voice suddenly fills the room at your back. “Mum are you a’right?” He’s scared, you hear it in his voice, you’d know the pitch of your child’s cry anywhere.

“I’m fine, baby.” You manage to spit out. Lying as you try to comfort him as best you can, afraid if you move from this spot another wave of nausea will hit you. You catch sight of Tommy rising on his feet out of the corner of your eye, before his voice fills your ears.

“She’ll be alright Finn. Why don’ you go sleep with Charlie tonight, ya? I’ll look after her.” You hear Tommy instruct your son as the pad of Finn’s little feet against the old wood floors fills your ears.

“Feel better Mum.” You hear him say as he slips out the bedroom, worry still thick on his breath.

The old creak of the door tells you he’s gone as tears burn in your eyes. You’re an emotional mess and knowing you frightened your child only makes you feel worse. Tommy’s steps are strong, his stride long as you hear him move back toward you.

“Should I call Pol?” He asks as he crouches back down beside you and you can hear it on his breath, he’s unsure what the best course of action is here, but his pity is the last thing you need.

Your fine, you tell yourself. You aren’t about to wake Pol over nonsense, you wouldn’t dream of it. Wiping at your mouth with the back of your hand, you shake your head no and brace your hands on the wooden stabs below. Digging your palms in, you slowly push yourself back on your feet. You sway, a little lightheaded at first as your reach for the wall for perch.

“I gotcha.” Tommy tells you as you feel him take your elbow. 

Your eyes meet in the dark and the look on his face as he stares back at you is almost more than you can bear – Uncertainty. Tommy doesn’t know how to help you. He’s unsure of what to do. For a man who’s always so sure of his course of action, it’s almost startling to see such an emotion in his eyes. But for a man who has barely touched you in days, his sudden desire to help only irritates you tonight.

“I’m fine,” You insist, pulling from his grip. You’re fine, you tell yourself again as you move slowly to the basin of water on the desk by the window. Dipping and cupping your hands on the chilly water before you splash it across your face, trying to wash yourself clean. Clean of a stain you can’t quite see, but always seem to feel these days. You rinse your face and neck, splashing water into your mouth, before rising from the basin slowly. 

Your gaze drifts off out the window in front of you as water runs down and drips off your face. You stare out into the rainy night, listening as the heavy drops pelt the window, watching the way the rain cuts through the light on the street lamps below like shards of glass. 

Your mind wandering… just over two weeks ago you would have been tucked in bed beside him, safe in his arms. You don’t regret what you did for the family, but you blame yourself for the damage it’s done to you and Tommy, and your angry at Tommy for pulling away.

You’re not sure how long you stand there, before Tommy’s hands find your shoulders, rolling the muscle in his palms, and for a split second your body relaxes under his touch. Your tension melts away, the anxious tightness in your chest subsides as a quiet sigh eases off your breath, but then he stops as he starts to guide you away from the window and back toward the bed. Gone as quickly as you captured it, like a dream in the morning light.

“Let’s get ya back to bed now, ya?” Tommy directs on a low gritty breath, still thick and gravel from the night.

“I’ve got it.” You shrug off his grasp. 

His fleeting moments of tenderness doing nothing to quell the pain inside your heart. It only amplifies the anger that’s been simmering in your heart for days. He hasn’t left you alone since it happened and yet he’s always kept you at arm’s length. When all your want is a moment of peace, and the assurance he’ll be there, really be there when you need him. 

You move of your own accord, feeling Tommy at your back, but as you reach the bed that awaits you, the cold spaces that now fill it taunting you, you turn to him,

“You comin’ to bed?” You test him, already knowing the answer that awaits you. You’ve missed him so desperately, and you hate to admit that, but standing there, after another nightmare, feeling the distance he’s put between you, you find yourself so bloody angry with him for making things worse.

The faint hazy glow from the street lamp and light of the near full moon, illuminates the sharp features of Tommy’s face. He’s hesitant, resistant, you can see it in his eyes.

“You should get some rest.” He tells you, face set like stone and equally unyielding.

You can’t resist the sardonic laugh that spills past your lips in response as angry tears burn at the edges of your eyes. You’re exhausted, physically and emotionally, and his continued rejection is the final straw.

“That’s all ya wan’ me to do these days, aye Tom? Where was the concern for my rest when you were fuckin’ me nearly every night? Am I too broken for ya now? Too much damage for Thomas Shelby.” You raise your eyebrow in challenge at him as tears blur your vision and slowly begin to fall on their own accord. You try your best not to wake the others in the house as the venom building inside you for weeks finally spills free.

“Fiona…” Tommy breathes, his head shaking slowly, denying your claim. 

The deep dark pits of his eyes twisting. The intensity of their blue, transforming into something more tortured, more guilt riddled as he reaches for you, trying to pull you closer. You shove his arm away, fire still burning in your belly as you rapidly wipe at your tears, angry at yourself for even crying.

“You think I liked it Tommy? Think I wanted him to fuck me?” You fire back, but the tears continue to build in your eyes and as they do Tommy grabs you, pulling you against him, tight against his chest. You struggle against him, trying to push him away, but he only holds you tighter.

“No Fee. Come on… come on.” He breathes out heavily against your hair.

For a moment you relent, surrender to his arms, finally feeling comforted. The familiar scent of Tommy filling your lungs, the smell of leather, whiskey, and smoke breathing life back into you. This is the closest he’s gotten since the night you came home. 

Wrapped in his arms, pulled tight against him, you feel safer, but you’re too angry with him to be appeased so easily. Angry that he’s discarded you. Angry that you gave your body and part of your soul up to a monster, only to be treated like you have the plague afterward. Angry that you can’t even have peace in your dreams. Angry that you don’t feel the same inside yourself anymore. Shoving harder at him, Tommy finally lets you go and stumbles back as you push him away.

“I don’t want your pity, Tommy. I can take care of myself. I always have…. Get out.” You say crossly, but Tommy doesn’t budge. He stares boldly back into your eyes, shoulders growing tense, but he doesn’t move.

“No,” He tells you unequivocally.

“Get out!” You finally snap at him, your heart breaking, and Tommy snaps back at you just as quick.

“No! I’m not fuckin’ leaving!” Tommy erupts, his voice twice the volume of yours as he yells at you for the first time ever.

You stand frozen in place, your chest heaves, rising and falling heavily as you stare at him, Tommy’s deep tortured eyes staring back at you. You don’t know what to say as Tommy looks at you in almost disbelief before he drops down into the chair he’d slept on, lowering his face into his hands as he scrubs at his eyes in frustration. 

Pulling the case from his waistcoat, Tommy clears his throat as he plucks a cigarette and places it in the seam of his lips before flicking his lighter. The room is suddenly eerily silent, except for the sound of Tommy pulling away at his cigarette – the deep inhale and exhale of his lips, the quiet burn of the paper as the rain carries on outside.

You stand there, not backing down, not charging ahead as you cross your arms against your chest and watch him. He takes a few more long pulls of his cigarette before letting out a long sigh and rising from his seat. Tossing his cigarette into fireplace, he turns back to you, suddenly taking your face in his hands.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped at ya, but I need ya to get some rest and feel better, a’right?” Tommy tells you. His palms are rough, but his tone and words are softer than before.

You look into his eyes, the endless blue depths staring back at you, and for the first time since that night you feel like you’re staring into the eyes of the man you love. The man you’ve grown to know over these past few years. The tortured and broken man, who doesn’t speak softly to anyone the way he is with you now.

“Yeah?” He nods slowly, trying to coax your compliance as his thumb drags across your cheek. He’s scared for you and what’s becoming of you, you can see it.

The sight of him, the man you love only stirs a deeper longing and loneliness as you stare back at him.

“Are we done, Tommy?” You ask, exhausted and beaten down by it all. A life that’s been long, and seems to only steal your happiness as soon as you grasp it, every glimmer, every time, except Finn.

“No,” He answers, without hesitation, before he leans in and you feel his soft full lips touch your forehead as his thumb strokes at your cheek.

You glance back at the bed, the lonely confines that await you. Accepting you fate, you nod in agreement as you look back to him. But that tenderness you felt in his lips a moment ago, you still see it in his eyes now, as Tommy holds your gaze for a moment before he begins to shuffle off his shoes.

“Come on,” He says quietly as he moves you to the bed. You smile at him gratefully as you climb into it and watch as Tommy follows behind you. You roll onto your side and feel Tommy’s arm hesitantly wrap around your body.

“Is this- is this good?” He asks unsure, it’s then you can see he’s still afraid to touch you. 

Unsure how to hold a woman another man has damaged. You reassure him quietly, wrapping your arm around his as your eyes close, but there’s still a nagging at the edge of your mind, an itch under your skin that never quite goes away. 

You pray to the only God you’ve ever known to let this feeling pass and just let you be whole again. But as you drift away, into that thick space, hovering between here and the place you go when you close your eyes, you know in your heart nothing will be as it was before, as surely as you did the day you learned Tony was never coming home.

 It was part of the deal, you knew that… But you had agreed to it before everything happened. And now you feel bound to follow through. Tommy is livid when he learns of the new clause in the contract.  As far he’s concerned you should never be the same room with Al or any member of his fuckin’ family again. 

His anger helps you focus, gives you something to think about and draw your attention to other than your own anxiety and fear. He wants you to break this part of the deal, call the whole thing off, but after everything that happened, you think it might be easier to just be done with it.

Maura, Tony’s mother – Al’s mother, she just wants to see her grandson again. She hasn’t seen Finn since he was just a baby and you were living destitute with your ‘aunt’ Brona. You know she misses him, misses what he represents, the last living piece of her dead son. As a mother, you don’t have the heart to rob her of that, so you agreed. To a meeting. To allow Maura to see her grandson. That’s it, that’s all it is you try to convince yourself and Tommy.

It’s Polly who brings sense to it all. A voice of clarity, she makes Tommy see there’s no reason to mix more bad blood into the business. This isn’t for Al, she tells him, but Tommy still hates it. 

He only agrees if he can arrange everything. The whole fucking thing must be on his terms, where he feels you and Finn are safest or it’s off. Tommy can’t leave Small Health without being shot, so he has the lunch booked at the Midland Hotel. It’s just you, Tommy and Finn that attend the lunch, and every Blinder Tommy can pull away from other jobs to fill the hotel.

Your nerves are on edge, anxiety racing, you haven’t seen Al since that night. It’s been nearly a month and your stomach has still been in knots the whole ride, but you don’t let it show. You bury it deep. 

After years of it only being you and Finn, your son has learned how to read you like a book. You know he’s nervous, meeting these people he doesn’t know, but if he senses any reservations in you too, it’ll only make matters worse. You stay strong for him as you always have.

Entering the Hotel lounge Tommy has reserved, you feel your fear and anxiety begin to peak. Your chest tightens, breath quickening, stomach tangling in knots, just a few more steps and you’ll be eye to eye with the man that terrorized you nearly a month ago, and yet it feels like just yesterday. 

But as Finn’s big nervous eyes shoot up to yours, you find your inner strength, and push your own fears down as you force a reassuring smile across your face. No experience in this life has made you stronger than becoming a mother. The instinctual drive to keep him safe, knowing his very life often depends upon you, that experience has created a reservoir of strength inside you you couldn’t have imagined before him.

The knots linger down deep in your belly, but you wrestle to keep them down below. You decide then and there, Al doesn’t get to have any more of you. You learned long ago people can only take your power if you let them, and you’re not handing yours out to that son of a bitch.

You’re steadfast in your conviction until you turn the corner and there he is, standing tall and erect beside his elderly mother, suit just as clean and pressed as you remember. He smiles at you as if your old friends and the sight of it sends shivers down your spine. 

Your feet stall for a moment, Finn’s eyes shooting back up to you when you abruptly stop walking. You will yourself to move, but god help you, it’s moments like these you’re painfully reminded… You’re only human.

Your feet are like lead on the plush carpet until you feel Tommy’s hand come to rest on your lower back, rubbing shapeless doodles into your spine, easing the tension. You feel his lips press lightly against the back of your head.

“Breathe,” Tommy instructs and you obey, slowly sucking in a deep breath, filling your lungs before you release it slowly back out. You glance up at him and he meets your gaze, reminded you’re not alone in this, you don’t have to be brave alone. His jaw is set, his face like stone, Tommy looks cold and uninviting, but you understand, that isn’t for you, it’s for Al and Maura.

He gives you a subtle nod and you begin to move again until you reach the table. You’d grown to care for Maura after Finn’s birth, but it’s been a long time and the air in the room feels thick and awkward as you try to start. The hotel is old and grand, held together by tall columns of mahogany and shiny marble floors. 

 The lounge is enormous with a beautifully hand painted ceiling, ornate crown molding along the trim and vast cream-colored walls cut apart by tall floor to ceiling windows that stream in light. You imagine this room is usually used for fine dining and important gala’s, but today it only holds your small group. Gangsters, mothers, a child and blinders at the door. The vast space seems to swallow you all up and only adds to the already palpable unease of the room.

Maura comes around the table slowly. It’s been so long and you sense she’s nervous too. She smiles at you kindly before her attention drops down to Finn.

“Hello Finn, I’m your nonna.” She says softly, reaching out her hand.

Finn’s giant blue eyes shoot up to you as you give him a nod of encouragement before he glances back down, extending his hand. “Hello,” He answers back, shaking her hand.

“Shall we sit?” Maura asks, motioning to the table.

You nod and begin to answer when Al suddenly clears his throat and sends your whole body filling with tension as your gaze involuntarily shoots his way.

“Mr. Shelby and I have a few things to discuss. Why don’t you ladies start. We’ll join you in a moment.” He suggests before he turns to Tommy.

“Mr. Shelby here doesn’t mind sharin’ his girl, am I right?” Al digs, like a screw turning just a little tighter. You can see it in Al’s eyes, that look – he loves playing games with people.

Your eyes shoot over your shoulder to Tommy. Your heart begins to race as you watch his jaw flex. He’s livid, but he’s trying to keep control. He knows just as well as you what Al is trying to do. His eyes meet yours and you plead with him silently not to take the bait.

Reaching into his jacket, Tommy promptly retrieves his cigarette case and has a smoke pressed tightly between his lips and sparked in seconds.

“Anything we need to discuss can be done in the back of the room.” Tommy finally answers, ignoring Al’s barb all together, but making it clear, he will not be leaving this room.

You take a seat at the table, motioning for Finn to take the one between you and Maura, as you glance over and watch Tommy and All walk steadily to the back corner of the large lounge. You heart begins to race, Tommy looks as calm as can be, slowly pulling away at his cigarette other hand in the pocket of his waistcoat, but he doesn’t know Al like you do. 

He doesn’t know how cruel and manipulative he can be. And the sinking feeling in your gut tells you Al isn’t done playing games. You turn back as Finn tugs on the sleeve of your shirt. His big blue eyes stare up at you with uncertainty as his hand slips into your own and squeezes it tight.

You notice Maura has placed a toy truck on the table, a gift for him surely. The look in her eyes is suspended, awaiting his response as she tries to win him over. You can see it in your little boy’s eyes, he doesn’t know what’s expected of him. He’s smart enough to know this lady wants his attention, but he doesn’t know her either.

 You explained to him the situation the night before, preparing him for who he would be meeting, but hearing it and fully understanding it are very different things to a seven-year-old boy who’s never really had a family before Tommy and Charlie. You smile down to your son, squeeze his hand in return, and give him a nod before he turns back to Maura and thanks her politely for the gift.

You gaze drifts back to the end of the lounge as you listen to Maura ask Finn about things he likes, trying to get to know the boy, but the conversation quickly fades away as your eyes zero in on Tommy and Al at the far end of the room. The tension on Tommy’s face is unmistakable even from across the room. Though you’re sure it’s not readable to anyone else. 

You can see he tries to ignore Al, his gaze set squarely on you, but his shoulders are held tight as he puffs away on another cigarette. You smile weakly over at him as your eyes meet. Silently urging him to behave, keep this pleasant for Finn’s sake, but you can only imagine what game Al must be trying to play. Having been held captive by his manipulation on a night you’ll never forget, you’re certain he’s still trying to play.

As the lunch wears on and the minutes pass, your attention continues to be torn, between your son as he tries to get to know the grandmother he doesn’t remember and Tommy. Maura tries to make conversation, telling you she thinks he has Tony’s smile, making note of your current inability to leave Small Heath, how unfortunate the circumstance is, and the questionable company you now keep, but you ignore most of it, you have no intention of explaining yourself to her. That’s not what this visit is for.

 She asks you about the boy’s schooling and you absently explain you’ve been teaching him at home yourself, when you notice Tommy’s muscles suddenly tighten, you see his jaw flex and fire ignite in his powerful blue eyes. Your stomach clenches, you can see this is about to go very bad and fast, as you quickly excuse yourself for a moment and rise from the table, moving toward him. It’s only when you grow near do you hear the conversation at hand, the taunts Al jabs and tries to provoke Tommy with.

“You see the key is you gotta grip her tight. Her eyes’ll water, mouth gasping like one of those fuckin’ guppy fish, but trust me, she fuckin loves it. Begging me to fuck her harder, till her eyes start to roll in the back of her head. Just before she’s about to pass out, that’s when you release her throat.”

His words sucker punch you in the gut as you suddenly think you might be sick on the lush carpet below. Your stomach flipping, but you have no time to focus on that as Tommy suddenly turns on Al. You find yourself having to push your way between them as you catch sight of Tommy reaching for his holstered gun.

“Tommy no!” You demand, the sound of your desperate voice calling his name breaks through his fury as his eyes drop down to yours.

“He’s not worth it. Please Finn is here.” You try to talk him down, your hand pressing against his arm that’s gripping his gun. Trying desperately to calm him down as the look in your eyes pleads with him. While your disgusted and revolted by what he said, your child’s in the room.

Tommy’s chest moves hard, the vein in his neck pulsing, but slowly his hand leaves his holster. Touching gently at your face as if to say – I hear you. His eyes shoot up pointedly to Al’s, the look in his gaze the kind of dark and deadly you’ve never seen him use before.

“You should watch your fuckin mouth. She’s the only reason your alive right now.” His voice low and gritty, but eerily calm in way you’ve never heard Tommy speak before. So foreign you hardly recognize it.

“An’ why do you think that is?” You hear Al jab, throwing one last knife at Tommy’s heart, but watching him slice at Tommy again is more than you can take as you finally snap. Hurting you is one thing, hurting the people you love is another beast entirely.

“Oh shut up!” You holler at him. 

Turning back to face Al, you don’t know what comes over you. Maybe it’s all the pain inside you, or the fact that he’s now trying to hurt your family after trying to break you, but suddenly you’re moving in on him, jabbing a finger violently at his chest as you boldly glare into his eyes unafraid.

“Tony despised you. He hated everything you were. Used to warn me about you, because even then he knew you were a monster.” You hiss out, seconds away from slapping him across the face when you feel Tommy’s hand on your shoulder.

“Let’s go.” He directs, the even tone of his voice stabilizing you, bringing you back down, calming you.

“Yes, lets.” You agree. Sucking in a sharp steadying breath as you pull yourself together and turn to your son watching you with big worried eyes from the table.

“Come on Finn.” You call, motioning for your son. “I’m sorry Maura. We have to go.”

The older woman looks frazzled and confused by what’s unfolded as she rises quickly from the table.

“Can I see him again?” She asks, an air of panic on her breath as Finn leaves the truck on the table and runs to you.

“We’ll be in touch.” You nod steely, your arm wrapped protectively around your son’s shoulders. 

But as you turn to go, you hear an ominous threat seep off Tommy’s lips, the low grit of his voice signaling these parting words are meant only for Al’s ears to catch.

“In business or in pleasure, one of these days I will kill you.”

[12miraenie]

Trial---pt 2.1

Genre: Mafia AU, Angst, slight fluff…maybe?

Pairing: Baekhyun x Reader, Sehun x Reader

Warning: Guns, weapons, drugs, explicit language

Word Count: 1716

Chapter Summary: When reality hits you hard, can you still keep your promise? Especially when you don’t even know who he is anymore.

A/N: I split the second part in half to add suspense, hahaha~ It’s so hard to work when tumblr is banned here so I have to use VPN. I hope you guys like it! 💕💕

✾ Link to Masterlist 

pt 1 | pt 2.1 | pt 2.5 | pt 3 | pt 4 | pt 5 | pt 6 | pt 7 |

“Boss.”

“Boss!”

You jolted at Kai’s sudden yell and nearly jumped in your seat. Sending him a dissatisfied glare, you asked, “What?” Kai pouted, “I’ve been calling your name for five times! BH wants you in his office.” You lifted an eyebrow, “Now?” Doesn’t he know you are busy?

He darted his eyes around and scanned the shooting range, realizing you are in the middle of training newbies. Kai chuckled awkwardly before you waved in front of him dismissively, “Whatever. Take over.”

The reason you were distracted was that the Glock 26 he was holding in his hand. When was the last time you saw that same exact one? It was the same pistol you used to escape The Prison. You were surprised at how long it has been since you’ve made this far in the outside world. The memories were too faded, and you don’t want to go back to the darkest times of your life anymore. At least you had Joohyun and Minseok. And Baekhyun.

Baekhyun. Honestly, you don’t think about him as much as before anymore. Maybe because you were hurt too deeply by him, you don’t know. Plus he is your current superior. The leader of the largest mafia in Asia. He is also part of the reason you decided to bury the past. He is everywhere in your memories. You didn’t even realize until now how big of a role Baekhyun played in your past. He was impeccable as a partner in those cruel survival games, and more so as a friend. The naive you who didn’t know anything thought that’s who Baekhyun is and will ever be,  especially after he gave you a promise with his mother’s necklace.

But the surprise was way bigger than you’ve ever imagined. You have never had one single idea that Baekhyun might be the leader of a mafia. More so when you found out he is a chief recruiter of The Prison’s survivors. 

                Flashback                       

You woke up in a hospital bed with a throbbing migraine. The lights were too blinding, and the walls were too white. You blinked several times to adjust to the sudden brightness and rubbed your forehead trying to reduce the headache. Where am I? What happened? You were trying to recall anything from your brain that might give a clue, but none came out. Then a thought suddenly came to your mind. The escape! Your breath hitched when that night’s events flashed through your mind. Although much of it was a blur, you could still smell the blood and the dirt, and the pain when the bullet hit you. Joohyun had told you to run while you two were being surrounded by others, but-

Joohyun!

Your heart started beating faster at the thought of Joohyun being hurt or worse, so you jumped up while pulling off the needles and tubes off of your body despite the stings and the warning noise from the machines nearby. You lifted the blanket off and tried to get off the bed, but the moment your feet touched the ground, and you let go of the railings, you collapsed. 

“Ouch,” you hissed when your head accidentally hit the corner of the machine, the force of collision only added the pain in your head. Trying to stand up, you clutched the railings tight and tried to use your legs, but they felt like nothing.  By then, your forehead was already covered by a thin layer of sweat. You took a deep breath and tried a second time, accidentally knocking a flower vase off of the table. You watched it crash into a million pieces on the floor while the water splashed off. 

“Fuck,” you cursed under your breath. As you tried to bend down to pick up the bigger ones, the door suddenly burst open. You turned around and came face to face with Joohyun, worry written clearly on her face. She immediately let go of the door handle at the sight of you. 

“Yah, Y/N!” She ran to you and helped you up as you grabbed onto her arms tightly. Two nurses came in behind her, and they cleaned up the mess on the floor. You didn’t miss their look of fear when you made eye contact with one of them.

“What were you thinking? You just woke up from a coma, you need to rest!” Your eyes shifted back to Joohyun as she helped you climb onto the bed again. She let out a breath when you were finally back to your initial position, looking more than relieved. “Minseok and I were so worried about you, you just fainted out of nowhere.”

“How long was I in a coma?”

“5 days. I almost thought you were not going to wake up.” Joohyun hugged you a little too tight, and you winced when the bullet wound came in contact with her body. Joohyun immediately let go, “Oh god, Y/N! Shit, how can I forget you still have a bullet wound! I am so sorry---” You smiled warmly, “It’s ok.” Your thought about how lucky you were to have someone like Joohyun. The prison brought up the ugliest aspects of humanity, but Joohyun had been with you through fire and water. You would never have survived without her. Your mind went back to the night of the escape, when she pushed you to run without her.

“Joohyun, what happened in the escape?”

She stopped babbling about your wound. You saw how this topic is touching a soft spot, but you needed to know. Joohyun looked up, her eyes dimmed a little, “After I pushed you to find the escape tunnel, I tried to fight them off. It was just too many people, but Minseok me. We ran to the tunnel and found you unconscious near the end.” Hearing that Minseok is fine, you let out another breath. “We all know the rules. Any survivor of the escape gets recruited. Helicopters were waiting and sent us to the hospital.”

She hadn’t mention Baekhyun once. You heartbeat started going wild, and out of instinct, your hand went up to your neck. The necklace is still there. Your worry diminished a little, but the thought of Baekhyun made you restless. Something flashed across Joohyun’s eyes when she saw your sudden movement, but she made no comment. “We are official employees of the mafia now.” Your eyes widened at the name deep inside, you cut off the tiny hope you had of living a normal life.

“Wait, what about Minseok and Baekhyun?” You couldn’t hold the worry in anymore and blurted out. Joohyun’s lips pursed as she avoided your eyes, “Minseok got recruited by another company, we can still keep in touch.” She brushed the topic off as you got more worried. Something must have happened. “Baekhyun? What happened to him? He wouldn’t have--he made it out alive, right?” Joohyun’s eyes held an unreadable expression, you can’t even tell what she’s thinking about anymore. Only that she became more panicked when you mentioned Baekhyun. But she still nodded curtly.

“You need to rest Y/N. Boss gave an order of full recovery before reporting to work. I’ll go get some food for you.” Joohyun stood up and left the room without looking back. You tilted your head out of confusion, it was like she had wanted to get out. You also didn’t miss the expression when she mentioned your boss. It was the same as she had when you said Baekhyun. A sudden thought came to your mind, but you quickly pushed it away. It’s not possible. However, your worry did not go away when Joohyun came back with a whole tray of food. You guys talked more, but she avoided all questions about Baekhyun. 

You put your chopsticks down.

“Joohyun, tell me. What happened to Baekhyun exactly?”

She avoided eye contact. Darting her eyes around as her foot tapped on the ground, Joohyun muttered, “I can’t say. Boss’s order.” You narrowed your eyes, noticing her habit of foot tapping. She only does it when she is extremely nervous. You became surer of your guess, Joohyun is definitely hiding something from you. 

“Something you can’t even tell me?” You asked in a raspier voice, tone laced with hurt. If it is something you learned in The Prison, it’s how to observe people. You were never as good as Joohyun in shooting, and you can’t compare to Minseok and Baekhyun’s combat skills. However, you could survive longer than other people due to your natural ability to observe others. Joohyun finally landed her eyes on you as silence took over. Your heart sank out of disappointment when she looked down and chose to stay silent.

After a deafening while, you spoke up. 

“If you won’t tell me, I’ll go find out on my own.” Your tone is flat, causing Joohyun to flinch slightly. “At least rest now. You need to recover.” Joohyun soon left to escape the increasingly uncomfortable conversation you had. When you heard the door shut, you let out a breath.

Once again, you swung the blanket off of your body and tried to get off the bed. You calmed down a little when your feet had planted on the ground securely. At least you can feel your legs a little now. You walked little by little to the door and opened it. Peeking into the hallway, you were surprised at the emptiness and quietness. Aren’t hospitals supposed to be busy? You glanced at the clock on the wall, especially it’s 10 in the morning. You pushed that thought back. You continued walking down the hallway supported by one hand touching the wall. The satisfaction of being to walk went away instantly when you lost control of your legs again. You closed your eyes and braced for the impact, but the collision never came. Instead, you fell into a warm embrace of someone smelling of slight cologne and something familiar...

“Baekhyun!”

[episodechooseyourstinky]

Can you review stripped by chantelle m?

I read the first several chapters of Stripped when I was younger. I vaguely remembered it upon revisiting, and read a couple more. I’ve read the first ten chapters of the story. I don’t think it’s particularly bad—it’s mildly entertaining—but I have some bones to pick with it, nevertheless.

Chantelle (the author) doesn’t seem to know where the story is going. In the pilot, Shane appears to be the main LI, but his arc is tossed aside until around chapter 6. While I’m on the topic, the story doesn’t truly kick off until around the time Shane re-emerges.

There is no real reason MC should have her job. Alexander (the main LI) insists Shane give MC a job because she’s pretty. Shane fights him on this (rightfully, since MC has no credible work experience and is clearly not that smart), but Alex prevails and MC gets the job. MC doesn’t even fight for it; she gives up instantly. She even tries to quit after a grueling day at work. It’s the fact that Alex wants to date her that gets her the job. And, as you can imagine, there are unsettling implications, especially to Alex’s character, since he’s a “good” guy.

The end of chapter two was a cliffhanger… within a flashback. That’s a pet peeve of mine. Don’t make cliffhangers within flashbacks. They’re purely expositional.

The spelling and grammar is fine for the most part but there are times when the author should really consider re-reading her work before publishing. There’s narration, but on Episode it’s surprising when there isn’t narration. (One day there will be a story that doesn’t feature narration. It’ll probably be my story. Actually I don’t think The Ralphie Blaze Show had any narration… but I digress.)

I don’t hate the characters, which is nice. I don’t really love them either, which is detrimental. I just don’t care. The end of chapter 10 had a huge cliffhanger, but I just shrugged and started writing this review. I personally can’t being myself to get invested in this story, although I can let it relieve my boredom.

The directing is above average, but not phenomenal. While Chantelle attempts occasional advanced directing and makes Alex and Shane taller than MC, for the most part, the directing is basic. But she also includes her own backgrounds sometimes, which is fine. She’s good enough with sound.

Stripped is mediocre. I don’t feel much hatred towards it. I’ll play it and feel fine. I haven’t read any truly good stripper stories (except Stripper Chronicles). This is meh. There are much better stories out there, but there are much worse ones, too.

[hunterartist711]

Darkness 2 For Mac

Gameplay Sound Graphics Value

Genre: ActionMin OS X: 10.6

‎Second issue in an four issue series! Each 24 page comic is published in print and digital at the same time! Don't miss the next chapter in this exclusive comics prequel to next summer's blockbuster STAR TREK movie! New characters and new conflicts threaten Captain Kirk and the crew of the Enterpris.

The Darkness 2 game playable on macOS and Windows is published by 2K games has a Very Positive rating on Steam (out of 4106 user reviews). The Darkness 2 is a supernatural first-person shooter developed by developed by Digital Extremes( developers of co-op shooter Warframe) is based on a comic book series by Top Cow Productions.

I just got the Darkness II, and my wife wants to play it also. I didn't think it would be enjoyable for her to play over my save, I thought it would be better if she started off from the beginning.

360 controller works but, not in darkness II So i'm using big picture mode with my controller just fine but, i play darkness 2 the 360 controller doesn't work. The options menu shows support for it, it works great in other games but, i get nothing in darkness 2.

Buy The Darkness II as a Steam Key. It’s been two years since Jackie Estacado, now Don of the Franchetti crime family, used The Darkness to kill the men responsible for his girlfriend’s murder. He’s been unable to shake the memory of Jenny’s death since bottling up his supernatural power and now The Darkness.

The Darkness II April 26, 2012 | Jon Carr

Pages:123Gallery

Click to enlargeGuns Blazing

Mac OS X: 10.6.8 / 10.7.2 | CPU: Intel Core 2 Duo | RAM: 2 GB | HD Space: 11 GB | Graphics: AMD HD2600 / Nvidia 9600GT with at least 256 MB VRAM or higher

Reviewer's Rig:

27' iMac, Core i5 Quad 2.8Ghz, 8GB RAM, ATI Radeon HD5750 1GB

What is perhaps most interesting about The Darkness, is that it started as comic book back in 1996 (It's actually quite good, and anyone further interested in the story and Jackie should check them out. But be warned, they are even more explicit and gruesome than the game). The comics got a makeover in 2002, and still remain successful. In 2007 Starbreeze Studios (of Chronicles of Riddick fame) developed a game based on the comic books, also named The Darkness. Sadly, this game was console exclusive and never made its way to PC or Mac. The first game's story is briefly covered in an opening flashback and should be paid attention to as it highly relates to what is going on in the second game.

Yes, The Darkness 2 is now out on Mac as of a few days ago thanks to the efforts of Transgaming and published again by 2K (And is of course available at GameTreeMac, as well as Steamplay). However, Digital Extremes developed the 2nd game, not Starbreeze Studios. How the two compare Mac gamers will never know, but you can know that The Darkness 2 is very good. Why? Read on!

As a quick overview The Darkness is an evil, sentient being, one of the two primal forces in the game's universe (his opposite being The Angelus, who is female and Light) Both forces inhabit male and female hosts respectively, granting them amazing powers, but also causing them to fight for their individuality and control, as both forces contend not only with each other, but to take over their host completely so it does their bidding.

In the first game, The Darkness awakens in Jackie Estacado on his 21st birthday. As a hit man for the Franchetti crime family this turns out to be particularly useful since The Darkness enjoys and is fueled by killing. Things take a turn for the worse, however, when the mob kills Jackie's girlfriend Jenny right in front of him while The Darkness forces him to watch. In turn Jackie goes on a murderous rampage and wipes out the whole mob. But by doing so he is completely consumed by The Darkness.

After the events of the first Darkness game, Jackie is now head of the Franchetti crime family and has been suppressing The Darkness for years. However, a spectacular ambush during an evening at a restaurant forces Jackie to awaken The Darkness once more, unleashing its awesome powers and imbuing our protagonist with scary Darkness arms and a predilection for shooting out lights.

As you can imagine The Darkness doesn't do well in the light. Anytime Jackie stands in, or is blasted with, light he is partially blinded and loses Darkness powers and abilities. So, it is in your best interest to shoot any and all lights, in addition to focusing on the light carrying foes you encounter later in the game. It's not quite Splinter Cell levels of lightbulb assassination, but it is part of things.

Perhaps the most interesting and compelling aspects of The Darkness 2 are the story and characters. Essentially, you are playing a criminal and a murderer. However, Jackie is extremely likable and easy to care for, especially when you see how tortured he is about Jenny's death. You have a number of flashbacks and possible hallucinations of Jenny throughout the game and these are surprisingly sweet and tender moments in contrast to all the brutal violence on display. Even without playing the first game it's easy to connect with Jackie and Jenny and care about both of them because it's so easy to see how much they loved each other, and how much Jackie still loves her. Not many games believably pull off romantic relationships, but The Darkness 2 is certainly one of them. You also get to interact with the men under you in your mansion between action missions and various other interesting characters who are all impressively voiced and animated.

Pages:123Gallery

Platform: Steam

In stock

Feb 6, 2012

Categories: Action, Most Popular, Most Viewed, New and Trending, Popular Games, Recently Updated, Top Selling, What's Popular

Darkness 2 For Mac Os

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The Darkness II steam key free

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About The Darkness II free steam key

Inspired by the popular comic book series produced by Top Cow Productions, Inc., The Darkness II is an intense first person shooter that delivers a twisted and gripping narrative of tragedy, modern crime drama, and supernatural horror. Players will be taken down the brutal and personal path of Jackie Estacado, head of a New York crime family and wielder of an ancient and ruthless force of chaos and destruction known as The Darkness. Its been two years since Jackie Estacado used The Darkness to kill the men responsible for his girlfriends murder. Hes been unable to shake the memory of Jennys death since bottling up his supernatural power and now The Darkness wants out. A sudden, unprovoked attack by a mysterious organization known as the Brotherhood heralds the start of a full-scale war and opens the door for The Darkness to reemerge, setting Jackie on a journey to hell and worse.

4-Player Co-op Campaign - Play as one of four unique characters each capable of wielding weapons infused with Darkness powers.

Quad-Wielding Chaos - Slash, grab, and throw objects and enemies with the Demon Arms while simultaneously firing two weapons, adding a new dimension to the FPS category.

Harness an Unstoppable Power - Master the Demon Arms and summon the powers of The Darkness for even more explosive gameplay.

Kill the Lights - The vicious powers of The Darkness manifest only in the shadows so use the environment to your advantage and watch out for enemies who will use light as a weapon.

Intense and Personal Journey - Experience a dark, twisted and gripping story written exclusively for the game by acclaimed comic book author Paul Jenkins whose credits also include The Incredible Hulk, Wolverine, and the original The Darkness game.

Distinctive Graphic-Noir Style - Graphic novel shading and color combined with the dramatic lighting of film noir pays tribute to the source material and brings the pages of the comic series to life. Inspired by the popular comic book series created by Top Cow.

Limited Edition Content

If you pre-purchased The Darkness II you are exclusively entitled to the Limited Edition, which includes free digital editions of The Darkness: Origins Volumes 1 and 2, collecting the origin of Jackie Estacado and the Darkness by Garth Ennis and Marc Silvestri! Please visit http://comics.comixology.com/redeem and enter your code. You must login to your comiXology account, or create one, in order to redeem. Once redeemed, you can download your comics on your smartphone or tablet device, as well as read on the web!

How to get The Darkness II key free

1 - First step is to register as the member 2 - Choose an offer available and make sure you choose the one that's giving you lots of coins 3 - Complete the offer you have chosen, you must use real information to complete an offer / survey 4 - Get coins instantly to your account

Darkness 2 For Mac Iso

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Darkness 2 For Mac Download

Source: Source

OS: Windows XP/Vista/7

Processor: Intel Core 2 @ 2GHz / AMD Athlon 64 X2 4200+

Memory: 1.5GB RAM

Hard Disk Space: 10GB

Video Card: 256MB NVIDIA GeForce 8600 / ATI Radeon HD 2600

Sound: DirectX Compatible

Additional: Requires installation of Visual C++ 2008 Redistributable, DirectX and nVidia PhysX version 9.11.1107 (included with download)

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[shinneth]

Gem Ascension Tropes (Peridot-specific: T - U)

Reference:

Primary Peri Post ▼ Primary General Post ▼ Full Article

Teleportation: Post-ascension, Peridot can use her willpower to do this so long as she knows about and can visualize the spot she wants to teleport herself (and/or others) to. Attempting this without that knowledge can result in a fatal Teleportation Misfire.

Mass Teleportation: With the help of Steven’s aura abilities to locate the gems remaining on Homeworld, Peridot exerts her willpower to poof and bubble all of these gems simultaneously, then by carefully reciting specific coordinates, teleports every single gem back to the temple on Earth. While Peridot pulls this off, she’s afflicted with a massive headache for performing this feat as herself instead of her superior Diamond Alter Ego.

That Gem is Dead: Midway through Act I, Peridot’s various encounters on her first visit to Homeworld since she left for her Earth mission cause her to remember the moments of her life on her planet of origin in much greater detail; consequently, Peridot is forced to acknowledge that as a Homeworld gem, she was far worse than she made herself out to be. However, Peridot doesn’t forget who she is now; she acknowledges through her Character Development after aligning with the Crystal Gems that she is no longer the 5XG who bullied her fellow gems and often got them needlessly shattered through social sabotage. This doesn’t stop her from feeling immensely guilty over her past actions, but Peridot remains firm in that she is no longer the amoral, sociopathic gem she emerged as. By Act III, Peridot starts to falter on this – especially when White Diamond forces her to relive the memories of her worst moments as 5XG – though by this point, Peridot’s dealing with far more issues than just a shady past life. Faced with being an Unwitting Test Subject, resigned to being White’s prisoner on Homeworld with no hope of being rescued by her friends, and enduring an endless week-long torture with no one but White for company is almost enough to make Peridot regress back to her old self. However, it isn’t long after the Crystal Gems do indeed come back for her that Peridot realizes her self-worth as the gem she worked hard to become despite how awful she used to be. While Peridot’s guilt over her past actions lingers, she ultimately learns to forgive herself with Steven’s help. The trope is ultimately reconstructed; while “5XG” is no longer considered the aspect of Peridot that defines who she is as a whole, she is accepted as a legitimate part of Peridot herself, as well as acknowledged to be a necessary component of Peridot’s current identity – she wouldn’t have aspired to become greater than herself if she was never a conniving, sadistic menace to society with so much gem dust on her hands.

(After reliving the first part of the memory of her encounter with 3UI as her former self) Peridot: “That isn’t me anymore… it’s not… 5XG died a long time ago! I-I’m just Peridot, and that’s all there is to it!”

These Hands Have Killed: No matter how much Peridot has become a better gem to atone for her many past crimes, it will never change the fact that she has lived most of her life as a remorseless sociopath who was not only willing to kill anyone in her way she viewed as an obstacle in her path to glory and success, but enjoyed doing so and reveled in the suffering of her fellow gems. Peridot is fully aware there’s nothing she can do to truly make up for her past actions, and this proves to be one of, if not the biggest source of her inner conflict in GA. The guilt she lives with on a daily basis due to this trope proves to be what prevents her from being able to fuse with Steven. At least half of Peridot’s Video Wills in Act II have her lamenting over this; she often brings this trope up to discourage anyone from rescuing her. She not only doesn’t want her friends to risk their lives coming back just for her sake, but Peridot staunchly believes her indefinite imprisonment on Homeworld is the punishment she deserves and should serve her time incarcerated.

This is Unforgivable!: Invokes this in Chapter 6 of Act III when Sanity Slippage starts getting the best of her. She very loudly vocalizes her hatred of White Diamond and how reprehensible she is before trying to slice her neck open.

Thought-Controlled Power: The basic definition Peridot’s ascended powers. While Chartreuse is limited only by her imagination, Peridot risks her own wellbeing if she tries to consistently perform at Chartreuse’s level due to her body having a much harder time channeling that much raw power.

Time to Step Up, Commander: How Peridot became leader of the Crystal Gems in the first place.

Tiny Tyrannical Girl: Played for laughs in the present day, but played disturbingly straight during references or flashbacks to Peridot’s life on Homeworld. To say she was a Manipulative Bastard back then is an understatement, so Peridot did genuinely have many of these traits back in the day.

Took a Level in Badass: One of the central themes of Peridot’s character and the story in general is how she has to step up and rise from Plucky Comic Relief to Hero Protagonist in order to save her friends. This trope is an integral component in that transition.

Town Girls: The Neither to Lapis’ Femme and Bismuth’s Butch.

Trapped in Another World: Although Peridot spent most of her time as a prisoner within her gemstone to avoid dealing with her in real life, White Diamond found a way to even mess with her safe space. For six days, Peridot has been forced into various different worlds, all of them terrifying and filled with things trying to kill her, forcing her to be constantly on the run. She goes through several of these, but the only one even partially shown in the story is the Slenderman Shout-Out world.

Trauma-Induced Amnesia: While Peridot made herself forget many aspects of her Homeworld life after her Heel-Face Turn, they were fairly easily regained when she returned to Homeworld. Only one memory remained deeply buried into her psyche and wouldn’t be unearthed so easily: the first time Peridot met Jasper. It took 5XF’s deductive skills and Steven’s intervention for Peridot to recall this awful moment in her life, as it nearly shattered her entire identity.

Traumatic Superpower Awakening: White Diamond puts Peridot through relentless torture (almost life-threatening) just to speed up the process of harvesting a diamond from Peridot’s gemstone that would have taken centuries to form on its own. In order to fully awaken, Peridot has to accept that She Can’t Fight Fate and submit to her own diamond. Then, she’ll fully ascend. Naturally, Determinator Peridot won’t concede even after the torture she went through. Ultimately, another power struggle ensues as White Diamond tries to fragment Peridot’s mind to take her fiery determination and defiance out of the equation, so she’ll be much easier to manipulate. In order to do that, she needs to render Peridot unconscious, so she orchestrates a very dire situation where a giant blade is set to lacerate Peridot’s throat and all she can do to stop it is with an agonizing Bare-Handed Blade Block. Locked in another stalemate, White Diamond resorts to conjuring a projection of Steven with his voice to trick Peridot into Delirious Misidentification long enough to overpower her at last. Peridot, stunned in shock via a Slashed Throat, thinks she actually got Tricked to Death and passes out, allowing White Diamond to finally mess with her mind and engineer Peridot to be receptive to her new powers. One short conversation later after Peridot wakes up, White Diamond assists in fully awakening Chartreuse Diamond into existence.

Triangle Shades: Receives her canon CYM upgrade in the first chapter of Act III.

Tricked to Death: Falls victim to this when a very convincing mirage of Steven (conjured by White Diamond) breaks her focus from keeping a blade from giving her a Slashed Throat. Subverted in that, being a gem, this doesn’t actually kill Peridot, but at the time it looked pretty damn convincing – enough so that she lost consciousness after this.

Trickster Girlfriend: Downplayed due to her Character Development, but Peridot’s penchant for trolling Steven for shits and giggles doesn’t end just because they’re dating now. And sure enough, Steven has already acknowledged that Peridot’s more esoteric traits play into how his love for her went beyond the platonic level.

Troubled Story Flashback: The flashback shown in Chapter 3 of This is Who I Am shows the precise moment of Peridot’s fall from grace way back when she was still a Manipulative Bastard shortly after discovering the Crystal Gems. Specifically, the moment Jasper is assigned as Peridot’s escort (as well as Yellow Pearl’s speech highlighting how screwed Peridot is shortly before meeting Jasper) is when Peridot gets a very nasty wake-up call to reality. While far from being anything resembling “reformed” coming out of that traumatic event, it leaves Peridot so shaken that the stoic, sociopathic, cunning, and pain-resistant traits she was once notorious for embodying almost completely vanish from that point going forward. While she didn’t completely lose her ambition, Peridot’s forced to look at her goals realistically and understand most of the goals she strived for simply aren’t possible for a gem like herself. 

Trying Not to Cry: Often attempted, but more often than not fails. One of Peridot’s biggest weaknesses is her inability to hide how she truly feels by trying to maintain a strong, invincible demeanor in the face of adversity. After an initial fit of crying when she’s forced to remember a particularly traumatic memory in This is Who I Am Chapter 3, Peridot does finally manage to pull this off for Steven’s sake.

Tsundere: Tsuntsun Types 3 & 4. Deredere Types 2, 4, & 6.

Twisted Ankle: Peridot was so close to reaching her friends before the final door dropped, but all it took to fail was a single misstep that made her trip. Due to how fast she was running, the trip sent her crashing head-first into a door mere inches away from freedom. This shatters Peridot’s visor and concusses her. Combined with the fatigue from the constant running, she’s too weak for her metal powers to get the door to budge and has no means to hack her way out (not that she’d have the ability to concentrate on that, anyway…).

Undying Loyalty: Steven, Steven, Steven. Well, Peridot does have this for the rest of the Crystal Gems, but it was her loyalty to Steven specifically that made Peridot get her act together and never give up in her endeavors, no matter how often she screwed up. This only briefly falls out at the start of Act III, solely for the reason that Peridot is under the impression that she is stuck on Homeworld for good and will never see Steven again, which forces her to compromise her loyalty to Steven when he does come back for her. However, it completely tears her up inside (and she is mentally compromised when he returns). It isn’t long before she’s looking for the perfect opportunity to come back to Steven, and luckily for Peridot, she finds the right moment to come back and make amends for her transgressions.

The Unfettered: Exclusive to her pre-Earth Homeworld persona. Atypical of her kind, Peridot quickly developed ambition to not only rise above the rest of her kind, but even outdo gems above her in the caste system, even though Peridots had a strict glass ceiling they were never meant to break. Peridot did not once hesitate to get any gem who threatened her ambition eliminated by any means necessary, all the while being clever enough to cover her tracks so that she would never be caught breaking the rules. If she “befriended” any gem (or was even the least bit cordial towards them), it was always done so Peridot could use them to further propel herself up the ranks.

This aspect of Peridot was forcibly diminished once her promotion led to her being assigned with Jasper as an escort. As Chapter 3 of This is Who I Am shows, Reality Ensues when Peridot finds herself in a bind she can’t manipulate her way out of with Jasper. While it’s only a Near-Rape Experience, Peridot was overwhelmed by so many unfamiliar feelings in that moment that it actually Broke the Haughty. While not completely succumbing to it, Peridot’s latent submissive qualities that are normally ingrained into her kind from the point of emergence awakened from this, which permanently shook her up to the point where she couldn’t be unfettered any longer. She finally understood how delusional her aspirations were.

Unlikely Hero: Given how often she screws up in the first half of Act I and considering her canon history… if you called Peridot becoming a legitimate hero who would go on to become a key figure in Era 3’s gem society, and was The Chosen One all this time, then you are a liar.

Unstoppable Rage: Sorrow and grief is more prevalent, but rage is definitely there when Peridot’s Heroic BSoD after Pumpkin’s death invokes this. If nothing else, Peridot’s not only filled with rage towards White Diamond (and Homeworld itself) over her loss, but also herself in reference to her behavior right before Pumpkin died. She cries endlessly and inadvertently summons a massive storm across an already-dying Homeworld. Her Involuntary Shapeshift to Chartreuse Diamond in the midst of this worsens the collateral damage her rage causes, including the shattering of every establishment still standing on Homeworld.

There’s actually a moment in Act I that qualifies here, too. Late in Chapter 4 of Act I, once Peridot successfully gains Yellow Pearl’s gemstone as a makeshift Skeleton Key. Her menacing Smug Snake demeanor fades when Bismuth and Lapis try to snap her out of it… then Peridot remembers where she is, and after the trauma of what she went through with 9FC earlier finally sinks into her mind, combined with the memories she’s regaining from working in Homeworld becomes too much to bear. She entertains the thought of shattering the helpless poofed Peridots, but ultimately focuses her rage on her own console. By the time Lapis and Bismuth dare to return to retrieve Peridot, they find she bashed said console into powder.

Unwanted Rescue: Literally every single Video Will Peridot makes to her friends in Act II has her begging each individual Crystal Gem to not go back to Homeworld just to save her. Various reasons include not being worth going back and risking everyone’s lives to rescue (opposed to Steven, Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, and Connie – Peridot firmly believes they’re all worth risking everything to be rescued, especially as a collective unit), not able to handle the inevitable guilt of someone getting harmed, captured, or killed because of her, not wanting her friends to fall into White Diamond’s painfully obvious trap since Peridot herself is the bait being used… and to some gems, Peridot even confesses that she doesn’t deserve to be rescued after remembering what a horrible gem she used to be on Homeworld; thus she sees her imprisonment as serving time for the crimes she legitimately committed in the past. She questions her own worthiness as a Crystal Gem in light of her many past crimes. …Of course, the Crystal Gems promptly ignore these pleas without a second thought. Certain gems, such as Garnet, find it amusing how Peridot’s attempting to use this trope to hide how desperate she is to be saved and just wants to go home.

Unwitting Test Subject: The first case of one since before Era 1 ended. Peridot was among some of the last gems created on Homeworld, therefore White Diamond had one last opportunity to conduct an experiment she was on the fence about doing in the past, which was namely to add a broken shard of Yellow Diamond along with her own diamond dust into a gem’s injector fluid to enhance their inherent abilities. For what Peridot was subjected to specifically, White Diamond wanted to see if she could create a new Diamond from another gem.