#like this mans entire personality on the show is an act! its all a trauma response! and people are out here acting like they know who he

[rigginsstreet]

the fact that billy went from this

to this

and this

is WILD to me as a person who experiences one minor inconvenience and makes it the entire worlds problem, let alone me being actively depressed.... i cannot fake an emotion to save my life. and hes out here putting on a whole ass show like he wasnt just crying in his room. king of compartmentalizing! (somebody please get him a therapist)

[eyothings]

So out of nowhere this december, i've been hit with nostalgia and decided it was time to rewatch Buffy The Vampire Slayer's entire series after the last time it aired on tv, meaning 20 years ago.

Not only it shaped a whole side of my lil sister personality, it is also the favorite show of one of my cousin and closest friends.

And considering the state i'm in after finishing season 7, i know for sure Spike is the origin of my utter love for anti-heros, England and ennemies-to-lovers trope.

He is one of those characters that stay with you forever.

C'mon look at him, LO_OK.

I had very few memories of the show, only some big moments: Angel leaving for a spinoff, Spike ♥, Dark Willow, Spuffy - Basically I remembered almost nothing.

The first season set the tone for me, i forgot the serie was very funny, and what worked right away was the simple fact that they didn't act seriously either, the actors looked like they just had fun. On top of that, even if i already knew that, the show is very feminist and advanced for its time.

I also forgot how much of an asshole Xander is. lol

The worst season for me is clearly season 4, and between you and me, and me and you, it's unsurprisingly because of Riley and the army.

The best season is obviously season 6, and not only for Spike and Spuffy but for Buffy's whole personality.

I have so much to say about the show really, but I'll stay focused and talk about the two ships: Bangel and Spuffy (and a bit of Riley). Note that it is purely my point of view, based on what i like to see and read in fiction and how I perceive the characters, there is clearly a big difference compared to real life. As well as any "bitch" mentioned here is only affectionate. And if you're crazy enough to read the entire post, I apologise in advance for the many mistakes in my writing, as English is not my mother tongue.

The moment i'm writing this VERY long ass post, I've only just started to watch Angel the series for the first time and I've only seen the first season, so my thoughts on him may change in the future, but I don't think my pov on the ships will. I am also aware of some events in seasons 8 to 12 (comics).

• Bangel:

To be honest I liked their love story more when Angel was Angelus.

First, them falling in love never really clicked, I guess they played the love at first sight trope, but she was 15 and he was 200; at that age, any man who was pretty enough and a bit dark would've worked for her. (I won't talk about a 26 y/o man falling in love with a 15 y/o teenager, the man is from 1727, at this point it's not even the same culture okay??)

I thought I'd still give it a chance and root for them, even if I was fully aware of him leaving and Spike would be the new romance (I FORGOT THE WASTE OF TIME WITH RILEY), because they actually talked about all the issues, they knew something was off with their love story but they couldn't stop.

I have not much to say about the nature of their love, it was a cute romance at best, but the more they went further the cringier it'd get, I still have trauma about their kiss noises, no kidding.

They slept together and Angel becomes Angelus, which is supposed to be sad and add some angst, but Angelus was so charismatic, I didn't care about Angel anymore.

And what can I say? I think the soul vs no soul aspect played kinda badly, they all said that Angelus was incapable of love since he had no soul, but we had the concrete proof that love was possible thanks to Spike & Drusilla to begin with ??

I was hoping that, since they sold us their love as super powerful and intense, Angelus would end up falling in love with Buffy, especially after the episode in which both are possessed by ghosts in season 2 episode 19 - I Only Have Eyes for You - which is my favorite moment between them:

but NO, Angelus cannot love, and only Angel can:

It's either we get the flavored guy but no romance or the bland one with a half romance.

Talk about the greatest love story there.

And the whole season 3 is Angel and Buffy having a teen romance:

"Let's just hold hands and kiss but nothing else"

Of course I guess this kind of love story is possible, but it is made clear they both feel the sexual tension each time they kiss, they even dream of doing it. So the only thing that comes of it, is frustrating feelings, for Buffy, for Angel and for us watching them going nowhere.

The hottest moment they have is when Angel bites her to survive.

Surely for a love story that is sold to be so grand, I expected Angel to find a cure for the curse? And fight for his love or something?

♫ Nope, he just leaves. ♫

♫ Bitch talks about fighting for what is worth and bails out at the first difficulty. ♫

i cannot even blame Joyce here, she made the right call, for real. Mother knows best, but he had the chance to prove her wrong.

And in parallel to that we are introduced to Spike, a vampire with no soul who is one hundred times worth Angel, just by existing.

And there is so much to say, whether or not Spuffy was intended, whether or not Angel is supposed to be the love of Buffy's life; After reaching seven seasons, I can guarantee without any hesitation, that Spike is the one, there is no contest.

I can't, for the life of me, believe one second that Joss Whedon and the rest of the team wrote the enemies to lovers story of the last two decades without doing it on purpose? They were so much into Angel, to realize what was happening?

They sold me Angel and Buffy being the "forever love", and, in a way, they are, but only because they cling to the "what could've been".

Of course they will always be attracted to each other until they really try. They'll always idealise their love story and fill the plotholes with their imagination. But it is dramatically bound to end in disaster.

And no, Buffy, I cannot take you seriously when you say "I loved him more than I will ever love anything in this life" ; You were a teenager, it is normal to feel more deeply when you're 16, but that doesn't mean anything, and you know it too well.

Angel left her broken, unable to trust anyone, unable to trust herself and alone: If the love of her life doesn't want to be with her, then who will? (♫ We have an idea ♫ )

Soul or not, he has been a coward, with no intent to get to know Buffy, her family, her friends. He decided what was best for her without asking her.

All he does after that, is coming back into Buffy's life at the worst moments to be jealous.

♫ He is that toxic boyfriend who comes back with puppy eyes each time you try to move on. ♫

Every time he appears in an episode it's to disappoint even more: I was rooting for him, I even missed him A LOT in season 4 !

And, sure, meanwhile, the dance between Spike and Buffy was already ongoing since season 2, but we really didn't have any concrete scenes between them that could seal the ship for good (them under Willow's spell in season 4 doesn't count). So the best option at that moment was the hope for Angel to come back.

Buffy never really had the chance to move on from Angel because of Riley and his insecurities, but also because Angel cannot seem to move on, while moving on at the same time ? ! ? ♫ Bitch has a child ♫

The moment Angel left the show, it should have been for good. (Note aside, I'm still having a hard time believing the character had his own spinoff because of his popularity, when we barely saw him hanging around in the first 3 seasons, wouldn't have it been simpler for him to stay and have more scenes, like Spike?) • Riley & Buffy (Briley??)

And so Angel never came back, and we got Riley instead. He was the perfect choice to make the bridge between Bangel and Spuffy. She needed to experience a "normal" romance, with a "normal guy" to know what it's like and to understand what she really wants, but one season and a half was way too much. ♫ I ended up googling " WHEN is Riley LEAVING? "♫ The moment Buffy said she held back her strength when training with him, was enough to see what was coming.

Riley was nothing else than just an army guy under steroids who couldn't even handle his girlfriend being stronger than him.

Him blaming Buffy for not really being around when her mother was dying was the cherry on top of the loser's behavior.

Buffy needed someone with whom she could be 100% herself, an equal, and Riley knew he wasn't half of that; so he made her pay? By cheating on her and leaving? Then coming back a year later to brag about his wedding? Lmao give me a break Riloser.

So now Buffy is alone AGAIN, both men she thought she loved, left without looking back. ♫ Over my shouuulder ♫

And from those two relationships, we can already see what she needs in a romance:

- An emotionally available man - That can be there for her without pushing her - Someone who doesn't flee the second he encounters the smallest difficulty - A man strong enough for her to unleash the full force without being afraid of hurting him ♫ yes i'm talking about sex ♫ - Someone who understands her role as the slayer and her crazy life - Someone selfless capable of protecting her family and friends - Someone she can trust.

♫ And now, ladies and gentlemen, lets welcome ♫

• Spuffy:

Ok first a bit of context here: I disagree about people criticizing Buffy season 6 Lets just understand whats going on: Bitch sacrifices herself to save the world and her sister; at that moment, she feels peace for the first time in her life, for the first time she is not afraid to die and fulfill her destiny by choice. She has an heroic death, ends up resting in paradise...

♫ Then her friends who can't handle to live without her, decide to bring her back to life. ♫

Not only she comes back to life in her fucking coffin, she also: - Has to crawl to the surface (almost dying stupidly) - Has to act as if nothing happened - Has to be the slayer again - Cannot even go back to university - Has even less prospect for a normal life - She is poor - She needs to find money (ends up working in a fast food) - Has to thanks her friends for bringing her back to the life she never wanted - Is being blamed for not really being around.

♫ I WOULD HAVE BEEN SO FUCKING PISSED YOU CANNOT EVEN IMAGINE ♫

So what? She comes back, feels different, depressed, alone AGAIN and figuratively chained to a life she still doesn't want, and the only person who does understand what she is going through is Spike. Spike who has been here for her family and friends the whole time she was dead, meaning, he did it because he wanted to, because he felt genuine pleasure in hanging out with them while keeping his promise to protect Dawn.

He could have left, but never did, even though his love was one-sided, he loved her so much he stayed.

♫ Death couldn't do them apart ♫

He has been a father figure for Dawn, but not only that, Spike was also the only vampire Joyce liked and trusted, a presence she didn't mind in her home without Buffy around.

And Spike did love Joyce very much ♥

And I have so much to say about Spike, he is that multi-flavored character with so many layers, who stays interesting with or without a soul. He is a slayer's killer, seen as one of the most dangerous vampires, that anyone should be scared to be around, he has so much confidence in himself, he doesn't even mind being so freaking pathetic when it comes to love.

He is not even afraid nor ashamed to show his affection, to be vulnerable, to be open about it, and most of it, he just embraces it without a care of the outcome, he is just living by the day, knowing perfectly that everything could stop at any moment. Though, that being said, i'm still well aware Spike has also MANY flaws, all he does is mainly driven by love but it is still extreme and twisted due to his soulless condition. I really don't know where to start, because i feel like Buffy and Spike's destinies are intertwined - They are a mirror to each other. Buffy's behavior has anything to do with Spike, as Spike's behavior has anything to do with Buffy - it is really like watching a dance.

Spike allows her to embrace and explore the darkest part of herself - She was always the perfect girl everyone expected her to be.

She needed to do good, to BE good, but what if she, for once, chose the other side? Of course she never went as far as Faith did, but she allowed herself to fall into a forbidden romance, and to go against everyone's expectations, because she only felt something when she was with him. And i loved this part of her, because to me, she finally has flaws! I mean, she always had some but not to that extent. And maybe, maybe being like this, was a way for her to never fall completely into the darkness nor into Spike's influence.

Maybe she was in an inner battle between good and bad.

Maybe it was an unconscious way to either push him away, or test him to see if he will ever leave her. Abusive or not towards Spike, let's not forget that he is still William the bloody, and the only thing that stops him from killing anyone is the chip in his brain. We're still talking about the guy who would have easily killed Willow if he had the chance, the one Buffy wouldn't trust at all without that said chip.

Even though Spike has done TREMENDOUS good deeds with the scoobies, he is still a slave to his primary emotions.

Don't get me wrong, this is why i love Spike SO MUCH, his duality as a soulless vampire is everything. The man can talk to you about his favorite romantic show and a minute later kill someone in cold blood and find a great pleasure in both.

♫ Anyway ♫

Above all things, they are in love, and this love is extremely intense, deep, powerful, unbearable and terrible.

Thanks to Tara, Buffy realizes she did not come back as any different as before she died and realizes the horrors she has committed to Spike by treating him like a monster he never trully was.

Buffy ends up admitting her wrongs and grows out of her darkness and chooses to be good and to end her relationship with Spike. And she is glowing and glimming, and she's not his anymore.

Which leads Spike to end up doing something awful.

And what does he do after that??

He leaves the city...

♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ TO FIX HIMSELF ♫ ♫ ♫

Ladies and Gentlemen, we are in the year 2002, and yes you read me well:

THE BAD GUY GOES TO FIX HIMSELF TO BE WORTHY OF THE GIRL

♫ William the bloody risked his fucking life in a trial to get back his soul ♫

She doesn't fix him, he does it on his own because he knows something must be done to repair his wrongs, that his love needs to be purified of his monstrous side to be a better man and stand at her side.

And even though she doesn't know that, she is still looking for him, even after what he has done, she is always drawn to him, she always wants to be around him.

Then she learns he got his spark back for her and she does everything in her power to keep him by her side.

Because now it is time for Spike to embrace the brightest part of himself thanks to Buffy.

I love them so much, especially in season 7 because they don't even have to act romantically to show how deep their love is for each other. How simple it has become, how instinctive their complicity is. They know how to complement each other, it is almost symbiotic.

They are clearly not ready to be together again until they really sort things out but Spike has seen the best and the worst parts of her, and is still hers entirely, and will always be.

As much as Buffy has seen the best and worst parts of him, and she still trusts and loves him to the point of asking the initiative to remove the chip in his brain. ♫ On top of desperately not wanting him to die ♫ Also, without knowing it yet, she is entirely his and will always be.

Buffy sees Spike’s worth, and Spike sees Buffy’s, even when neither of them can see their own.

They lift each other up, and become an unbreakable force, to the point that no one can split them.

And this is one of my favorite parts of Spuffy, in season 7:

Before, she would never have let Spike kill a human, not even out of revenge. But now, she’s willing to let his shadow take over if it means keeping him alive, just as he learns to hold it back. To me, episode 17 - Lies My Parents Told Me - marks how far their connection has grown: Buffy running as fast as she can to save Spike Spike's past with his mother, helping him make peace with some of it, as part of his ongoing redemption arc ♫ it broke my heart ♫ Spike coming back to his senses to beat the shit out of Robin, and giving him a last chance Buffy telling Robin she'll let Spike kill him next time he even tries to harm Spike Buffy choosing Spike over Giles Buffy choosing Spike over the "common sense" Buffy choosing love over her duty (even if she pretends otherwise) ♫ Buffy, you cannot fool Spike, but you cannot fool us either! ♫

And i love this parallel with the end of season 2 when she had to choose duty over love and kill Angel. This is Buffy allowing herself to be a bit more selfish while Spike is allowing himself to be a bit more selfless.

And then in the middle of the biggest battle of her life, she is overthrown over shitty excuses ♫ i have a LOT to say about the Scoobies but that post is insanely long to add some salt ♫ and who is the one that still has her back? Spike. Spike has always been unconditionally here for her and never let her down, which even the Scoobies didn't always do.

Spike is the one who delivers the most selfless and beautiful love declaration of the whole show, to her. When she needs it the most, because he is the only one who can see her.

And his love is what gives strength to Buffy to trust herself and pursue her goal. He is the one who brings back the light in Buffy, who pushes her to live and accept her fate as being the one.

And talking about light,

♫ What a freakin' poetry to have centered Spike's whole redemption arc around it ♫

He was always pursuing that light, whether in Cecily when he was a human or Buffy as a vampire. All he had to do was bring the light into him and embrace his humanity to fulfill his redemption. And so he makes the ultimate sacrifice, And he glows. Not only he saves the world willingly and selflessly but he also gives back the fire inside Buffy, frees her from Sunnydale and her role as the sole slayer.

♫ "I love you" - "Spike" are the last words Buffy says in the show ♫ • Conclusion A freaking long ass post only to say that to me, Spuffy is very well written as enemies to lovers, thanks to Jane Espenson, Douglas Petrie & Marti Noxon. Though i think Spike still suffers some injustices, but I'm glad he got the respect he deserves in the comics, (which i consider canon) : Not only does Spike end up as part of the Scoobies but also with Buffy, and he is the only one with whom she fights for their relationship to last. ♫ And they're endgame in season 12 ♫ (Thank you Christos Gage)

I also think JW made many mistakes for Bangel to work: I know he was kinda annoyed by Spike's popularity at first and wanted Angel to be seen as the main vampire of the franchise, which led him to give Angel his own spinoff, but by doing that, he also broke the link between Buffy and Angel. Which ultimately led Spike to have a more organic evolution with her instead of Angel. They both had their own paths in their own separate worlds, which forced JW to accept Spuffy as being the logical conclusion. Just as Cordelia was also the best choice for Angel to grow and be more open about his emotions. Claiming in interviews that Angel is the love of Buffy's life without ever demonstrating it concretely in any of the media itself makes this statement fall flat. I do not hate Bangel, I think the ship was necessary for Buffy to grow, but i do see more Angel as her first idealised and tragic love, while with Spike, it is more grounded, mature and based on mutual respect, trust, acceptation and stability.

♫ Angel should have stayed and Spike and Drusilla should have had their own spinoff, and i'd have paid to see that. ♫ • My pov on Sprusilla?

Literally nothing to say about them, they match each other freak to a level no one can ever comprehend.

♫ They are a perfect match and untouchable. ♫ ♫ May they end up together again and last for eternity. ♫

♫ With animals. ♫ (alive)

[sanjipussyindulgence]

what's your favorite thing about sanji? 💙🩵

okay as a funny answer i'd say its because hes so loser-coded. like hes a pathetic sopping wet purse dog of a man.

but as a genuine answer it's because of how layered he is. for as over the top and anime tropey his personality is... he's very realistically done? somehow he feels grounded and human to me in a way that some of the other straw hats arent.

even though his defining trait is kindness, he refuses to show ANY emotional vulnerability due to his trauma. instead he'll play a dramatized caricature of himself to distance any of the genuine emotion involved. he'll hide any kindness under a layer of either grouchiness when it comes to men, or infatuation when it comes to women.

sanji almost never lets his walls down, even when hes with the straw hats, so we dont get to see/understand him fully until he's at his worst emotionally (whole cake island).

its at times like that when we see who sanji truly is - a deeply insecure yet kind man with a severe guilt complex. the reason why sanji acts the way he does is because he HATES himself, even to the point where he doesn't want to be himself.

which is why he puts on the act of a tough guy womanizer because, in his mind, thats better than the soft-hearted little boy he still is at his core... but its that part of him that i love the most! i love whenever he gets to be honestly sweet!

obviously his pervert gag has its moments where it shoots sanji's characterization in the foot but i dont HATE his attitude towards women and i feel the people who want him to change entirely miss the point.

his strict binary for the genders stems from his early childhood where all the men in his life were monsters and only women were kind to him. even once he got picked up by zeff it was a tough love situation and sanji adopted that.

he views men as inherently worse than women, and its a character flaw that defines his personality. its important for a well written character to have a flaw like that. it fleshes him out.

i could go into a whole different conversation about his unintentional queer-coding... but this post is already long enough so i wont.

[ineffable-suffering]

Trauma-Dumping on your plants: The Anthony J. Crowley Chronicles

This has been living in my silly head rent free for so long, I finally decided to slap it on here in hopes of thinking about it a little less (than three times a day. It's been years. I need to get over it.)

Also, I'm absolutely certain I'm not even remotely the first person to realize or post about this, since it's not the hardest of parallels to figure out. Alas, I still shall, because out of mind, out of sight and all that. So:

Let's talk about how Crowley is using his houseplants to work through his own Trauma of the Fall. Or, well, maybe not work through it per se, but more so roleplay it to give it somewhat of an an outlet because he never got over it. Lol.

It's not rocket science to figure it out and God Herself actually gives us a pretty spot-on explanation of it in her own narration.

Crowley's plants are perfect. They're, as God Herself tells us, the most luxurious and beautiful in all of London. He takes great care of them, waters them, mists them. Does any and everything to give them the perfect conditions so they won't have a worry in the world.

And yet, we're immediately shown that despite the seemingly perfect conditions they're living in, Crowley's plants still get *gasps quietly* spots. And we all know how Crowley feels about that:

It seems like such an unnecessary tiny thing to get upset about, right? Like, plants get spots all the time. They're not perfect, they're part of nature and nothing is ever perfect in nature. Crowley would know that by now. Imperfection is the whole point of nature. If everything had stayed exactly the way it always was, nothing would have ever changed or evolved.

Besides, Crowley is a demon. If it were merely about aesthetics to him, he could easily miracle away any spot with a blink of his serpent eyes. But he gets so angry about it, it's almost comical. At first we think it's just to show us, the audience, that, in contrast to Aziraphale, who cares very dearly and lovingly for his books, Crowley is a mean, mean demon who, instead of being outwardly nice to the things he loves (like Aziraphale does), yells at his plants because he's a mean meanie.

But! If you look at the whole scene and what God says, it's pretty obvious what he's actually doing is something else entirely: "What Crowley does is he puts the fear of God in them. Or, the fear of Crowley. The plants are the most luxurious and beautiful in London. Also the most scared."

Folks, this man dude serpent is literally roleplaying the concept of God/Heaven threatening angels with their Fall in order to keep them obedient ... with his houseplants.

Have I mentioned yet that I am absolutely obsessed with him and also desperately wanna get him a therapy voucher?

Because what does he do once he sees a plant disobeying his rules of perfection and acting out? The same thing God did to her questioning, equally disobedient angels (including Crowley): Parade it in front of the very scared rest, making an example of it ...

... only to then, well ...

... quite literally chuck it out.

To anyone else, this seems like a completely ridiculous thing to do over a tiny, minuscule spot. There would have been a bunch of other ways to go about fixing that spot.

Figuring out what it was the plant needed that might not have been given to it yet.

Taking care of it in a different, individual way so it would have been able to thrive again.

Listening to the plant and letting it tell you why its spot appeared in the first place.

Telling the plant, that loves and relies on you entirely, you love it too, despite it not being without fault, despite of it not fully living up to your unreachable standards of perfection.

Caring for the plant not because you want it to be perfect, but because you're okay with it being imperfect.

(We're no longer talking about plants here, as you are probably aware.)

Alas, this isn't what Crowley does. Because it wasn't what God did, either. We still know very little about Crowley's actual Fall and the Fall of Lucifer and the rest. But we do know that Crowley was never like or even with them.

All he did was ask some questions. A tiny spot. A seemingly insignificant blemish in the luxurious, beautiful flora of Heaven.

And yet, before he knew it, he did a "million lightyear freestyle dive into a boiling pool of sulfur". Cast out, chucked away, just like his little spotty plant. And for what? Well ...

... to keep the others angels plants check, for the rest of time.

***

(Addendum from the comments: If we go by what the book tells us, Crowley doesn’t actually end up violently throwing out the ‚bad‘ plants. He just finds a different place for them and makes sure they‘re looked after. So much to him being a big, bad, meanie-mean demon.)

[faramirsonofgondor]

Insane how many TV show characters have incredibly traumatic backstories or go through a shit load of trauma only for the writers to be like “yea and then they became an asshole and ruined all their relationship for no reason whatsoever.” and then they’ll be like “what do you mean that’s so out of character? no it’s not i literally wrote the character.” LIKE YES BITCH and they used to be a GOOD person and friend??? they would do anything for their friends and family??? ANYTHING. they spent eons trying to fit in and they dedicated so much time making sure their family was safe. and now you’re saying that they’re just selfish out of nowhere???

OR EVEN WORSE. when they fucking forgive their abuser for no reason or because their abuser was on drugs or addicted to alcohol. and then they get sober and magically become a better person??? what??? you mean the person who neglected their child??? the person who abused their child??? AND THE SAME CHILD GETS HATED ON FOR BEING RUDE OR EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE AND PEOPLE STILL DON’T TRUST THEM OR LIKE THEM EVEN AFTER THEY MADE CONSIDERABLE EFFORTS TO UNLEARN THE HABITS THEY DEVELOPED TO SURVIVE THE ABUSE THEY WENT THROUGH??? IM SO TIRED OF SEEING THIS HAPPEN IN SO MANY TV SHOWS. LIKE IF IT WAS ONCE OR TWICE I WOULD BE ANNOYED BUT ITS FUCKING EVERYWHERE.

Just to be clear I’m not talking about shows that have established characters perpetuating the cycle of abuse from the beginning, or progressively getting worse over time, because while I don’t necessarily like those plot lines, they can make sense when they’re done right. But I fucking hate it when it comes out of nowhere and ruins all the backstory the character had and goes against all their earlier motivations.

And while I don’t particularly like it in TV shows when a character forgives their abuser, I can understand it when the abuser actually realizes the weight of their actions, doesn’t try to excuse them, and makes efforts to do better. But almost all TV shows where the character forgives their abusers ends up with the one who was abused being labeled as a problem child or too much to handle/too difficult and the abuser gets to be forgiven without any real development or apology or effort.

Like there’s so many different examples of this happening - Jamie & James Sr. from Ted Lasso, Jess & Liz from Gilmore Girls, Buck & his parents from 9-1-1, Shawn & Henry from Psych (I said what I said), like half of the entire MCU, and multitude of other characters. Like all of the kids were emotionally neglected and abused (and sometimes physically as well) and then they “acted out” (they insulted people, were maybe a little bitchy, and acted immaturely) and then somehow them acting out and being immature or eccentric becomes a central point of their character, and other characters are often annoyed or upset with this part of the character. But then the adult who yk, abused their fucking child, is viewed sympathetically by the other characters because they “were having such a hard time” and “were really struggling” while they were abusing their child. And now that their kid is all grown up they “don’t want to have a bad relationship” and “only ever wanted what was best for them, they just didn’t know to how give it to them”. LIKE GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK MAN.

How is it the kids fault they were a bit immature or a bit of an asshole after being abused for their whole life but it’s not their abusers fault for abusing them???? like what the fuck??? Like it makes me sick to my stomach when other characters are like “wow it must have been so hard to raise them” when they literally DIDN’T raise them, they fucking abused them. Don’t even get me started on when they give the abused kid an actual parental figure and the abused kid opens up to them about how hard their life was and the parental figure does their best to support the kid only to turn around and encourage the kid to forgive their fucking abuser. Like what are these writers even on????

Anyways fuck forgiveness for the sake of forgiveness. You don’t need to forgive shit just because your abuser had a sad backstory. Womp Womp for them. Addiction doesn’t excuse abuse. Grief doesn’t excuse abuse. Divorce doesn’t excuse abuse. “Wanting what’s best for you” “being raised in a different time” or being “misguided”isn’t an excuse for abuse. Them having abusive parents isn’t an excuse for abuse. There isn’t an excuse for abuse. You don’t need to (and IMO shouldn’t) forgive an abuser just because they’re at a better or more stable point in their life than they were when they abused you or because they suddenly got FOMO and realized they’re gonna die soon and they don’t want a shitty relationship with you. And if they and other people are pressuring you to forgive them, then they clearly don’t realize the weight of their actions or how serious they were.

[astrogre]

The Planet that is Pluto

Words: power, control, obsession, the underworld, intensity, intense emotions, intense everything, domination, taboo, depth, sex, repressed emotions, shadow self, the survivor, detective, alchemy, dark arts, superiority, fear, bravery

Astrological placements associated with Pluto: Scorpio, 8th house, Aries

Character I associate with Pluto: Femto-Berserk

The way Griffith sacrifices the souls of his people to transform into Femto and have dominance over others. What he does to Casca as well. He is the epitome of an extreme Plutonic character.

Honourable mentions: Homelander- The Boys, Laurie- Euphoria, Makima- Chainsaw man, Erik- Phantom of the Opera, Gaara-Naruto

Places: hades underworld realm, chess tournament’s, hell, anywhere with hierarchy aka corporate workplace, government institutions (because of power play/dynamics), caves, underground tunnel, escape rooms, secret society hidden meetings, nightmares,

Random somewhat astrologically influenced things that personally remind me of Pluto: Rigger, black grapes, death by strangulation, wine, babushka dolls, long nails, snakes, a public executor in the medieval ages, chess, cults, BDSM, the colour black, power play

Song I associate with Pluto:

Listen to this while you read it to immerse yourself in Pluto energy and surroundings, also read the lyrics too it’s very much Pluto energy

For you Pluto dominants:

(Pluto 1st house, Pluto 8th house, Pluto conjunct asc, Pluto conjunct Sun, many strong aspects to Pluto & Honourable mentions: 8th house stellium, Scorpio Stellium.)

This is entire post is dedicated to you

Plutos Traits:

Regenerative and transformative

Think of a snake shedding skin to become anew or when you’ve overcome and left abusive relationships and you’re back in your self confidence. Pluto is a phoenix bird it has a DEEP urge for regeneration and can transform itself from its own ashes into a diamond, Pluto itself is the pressurising machine. Say ashes represent the shittiest moments of our life e.g abuse, relationships, trauma, Pluto has the ability as an alchemist to use this horrible event to make something of more value, it transmutes basic base metal to gold. Transmutes pain and death to renewal. Pluto sees trauma as fuel. Without ashes (intense emotions or experiences) Pluto cannot show up and do it’s thing. Check where you have Pluto in the houses, this may be where you can get hurt most but it’s purposefully for a reason you’re supposed to use those intense emotions and make something beautiful of them

Eg. Pluto in 11th houser may have intense traumatic social circles or communities that ostracise, diminish, use or control them. As a Pluto 11th houser YOU have dominion here, you guys are social climbers the real life underdogs to Royalty stories. Use their exploitation of you as fuel, motivation and a resources to your success.

(Kylie and Kris Jenner have this placement and we all know how they absorb the drama, publicity and negativity from others like a champ, embody it, all to gain constant relevancy, power, influence and fame in their careers. Scandals make their profits go up like the whole Jordan woods drama and using it as marketing to do a sale on Kylie Jenner lip kit, Kris having their children’s private lives scrutinised and publicly available all so her family can gain relevance and wider opportunities)

Dominance and control

The reason why Pluto is known for obsession is because it urges to have the upper hand, Pluto won’t argue when defied he simply acts unbothered but exacts revenge in a cold manner, it wants to dominate and will go to extreme lengths to do that, it will go at all costs, the obsession manifests in an illogical, ego based way think of Gabriel Agreste from miraculous ladybug- how he prioritises triumphing ladybug over saving his wife, that kind of obsession. In my personal opinion I see Pluto as the second ego after Sun. It’s better if I explain by comparison… Think of powerful and dominating planets like Saturn and Mars, imagine if you owed each of these planets money and were in deep debt with them this is how they would respond:

Saturn: would employ you to do gruelling long hard work for many years, no retirement so that you’d die working on their behalf. If you refuse or die before debts are paid they would simply pass your debt onto your children make them do it to repay the money you owe. (If you’ve seen Chainsaw man, Saturn would work/treat the debtors children kind of like the way Denji was treated he had to pay off his fathers debts; in burdensome conditions where his health was being compromised for repayment.)

Mars: if you owed money to mars and were not able to pay it back, mars would most probably threaten you, beat you up, do a drive by shooting, physically destroy your assets like keying cars, graffiti and bulldozing your house, may be very aggressive think of loan sharks and mafia

Pluto: Now if you owe Pluto money.. Pluto is the kind to go further than mars, he would make you pay for it personally, in a way that can be grotesque/dark think of maybe rue from euphoria. When she owed money she just randomly woke up in a strangers bed and the house being filled with men implying she had been sex trafficked. Pluto is very wicked, obsessive and can be unsympathetic. It would not care if you feel pain and regret for inconveniencing them, it does this to put you in your place and prefers you repay the money with your suffering. Pluto may not even want the money anymore but rather the control and prioritises the debtors torture or will get the losses at your expense. eg. Sex trafficking you, have you wake up on the road after being unconscious and notice your kidneys are missing, hold you hostage, torture you, sell your body parts at an elite auction house, make detestable arrangements behind your back like forced marriage etc. This is how Pluto exacts its power and control.

Power obsessed

Pluto gets what it wants and exerts control over others while it does. That’s why it’s described as “scary” and associated with fear, a combination of ego and revenge. This is why wherever Pluto is in your houses it can show where you are intimidating, relentless and powerful and what you have constantly been resiliently obsessing over for years.

E.g Pluto 1st housers feel the desperate need to be in control and that they are seen to be dominant. They’re kind to get insulted if you call them “cute” or make jokes about their authority. (Leonardo DiCaprio, Beyoncé, Britney Spears and Justin Beiber all have this placement and came out of being typecasted or known as the “sweet good girl/boy” stereotype to powerful and to be taken with caution.

Taboo

Pluto is labelled taboo because it inserts itself into light AND darkness. It doesn’t mind and in fact rather enjoys exploring sex, defiance, repressed emotions, any subject that the general public refuse to speak of, Pluto relishes in that. I remember as a child there was a myth that I was told. It was that if you say “Bloody Mary” three times in the mirror you’ll get haunted and a ghost will appear to attack you, while other children may scream and dread in fear to even think of doing such an act, Pluto ruled natives may be the kind when alone to quickly run into the bathroom turn off the lights and try it out alone. That’s why they’re known to participate in dark arts, have interest in disturbing topics, they are fearless, like the challenge and find the minuscule information available on it a challenge. It’s not that Pluto ONLY has interest in taboo topics it’s just that it doesn’t hold as much fear of it as everyone else, talking about sex or death to Pluto is like talking about the weather, it’s no different, after all it’s just another subject.

The reason why they’re so fascinated by such topics and affiliated with them is because they see wasted energy and potential in these dark topics, abandoned resources that nobody wants meaning there’s more for them, and that’s why Pluto wants to explore it. Pluto isn’t wasteful. If Pluto were to kill a cow it would use its meat for food, bones for medicine, skin for rugs and teeth for necklaces, not a part of it would go unused. It gets excited when someone hits them because it means they can hit back.

Hidden self

Pluto is the hidden shadow part of yourself self you may want to hide and refuse to acknowledge. This is because as mentioned before Pluto loves the darkness and inside the subconscious there’s the good stuff and the bad stuff, our subconscious holds our fears, our beliefs, our desires and Pluto brings out all that stuff as conversation starters and wants to explore it and use it as fuel. This is why Pluto is known to be triggering because to be honest who wants to remember the fact they are afraid of touch and their abuser that caused that? But Pluto does. Pluto wants to remember them, Pluto wants to bring it up, Pluto wants to know who they are, Pluto wants to get revenge on them and put them in their place. Wherever Pluto is in your houses can also show how you can exact revenge so that it hits hard on others.

E.g. Pluto 4th house can suggest native can use powerful resources in their family, or their family has status, control, authority over others and can utilise it against others to contribute to their downfall.

(Megan Markle has this placement and she certainly lives up to it. She’s able to use the traumatic experiences she endured as a royal as fuel against them and is slowly contributing to the downfall of the monarchy by using her name and her affiliation to the royal family).

How to activate Pluto

Pluto can only transform and use its powers of Alchemy, transformation, control and power if you tap into its energy otherwise Plutos potential will be ignored. The same with any placement really. If you have a Venus 1st house, you want to be a beauty influencer but don’t put yourself out there, it’s energy will never manifest and remain as wasted potential.

The way you’re supposed to use Pluto is by confronting your fears. When you are most afraid, do it anyway.

E.g. Pluto 7th housers when you’re laying in bed and you’re thinking of that traumatic experience in your relationships instead of suppressing it, allow Pluto to remember it and allow that level of disrespect you feel to take action in the way of your Pluto sign.

(Shakira, Cardi B and Megan Thee stallion all have this placement and exacted revenge on their partners in different ways, Shakira and Cardi did it by artistically exposing them in music and making money form it, Megan did it the same way and also by lawsuits, doing public interviews on torey Lanes and pressing charges)

Anything Pluto touches is where you hold the most power in your birth chart. Usually people say how come i’m not good in that area?? It’s because you’ve not utilised Pluto. It’s because you won’t let Pluto explore it and turn your tribulations into gold.

What can Pluto tell us:

The best way of how you can exact revenge for it to successfully hit hard on others.

Where your wasted potential is. Basically where you allow your fears, desires, trauma to lay dormant instead of using that intense energy for Pluto transformation

Where we get excited when someone hits us because it means we can hit back. (Applies only if native is used to Plutos energy, otherwise you won’t be able to hit back. You’ll know if it’s active if when you have challenges under the themes of the house Plutos in you trust you can fight back like you have in the past)

Where you hold the most power

What you obsess over

How you deal with fears, death, change and trauma

Which part of your life you experience extreme transformation and changes

What you like to fight for

I will most likely be making a series that incorporates all of this for each house. However due to the fact that I am unfortunately very detail oriented this may take a while for me to commit to.

Pluto Series:

Pluto in 1st House

[trekmupf]

Shakespeare & Eugenics in Space

Pro

Kirk backstory, and Kirks way of dealing with his trauma (immediate denial in front of others and putting up a wall, then researching and dealing in private – and later on with Spock and McCoy). Opposed to how both Riley and Leighton react

Kirk seducing a woman not for pleasure but for a secret cause / using his charm and sexuality to manipulate someone.

Unlike in the other cases of this happening he's the one being played by Lenore who is pretending to fall for him to murder him, which is a twist great

Spock immediately noticing something is up with Kirk

Spock then going to McCoy for help and support, twice! Great further development of all sides of the trio in this episode

McCoy's beautiful eyeliner is giving me happy chemicals

So many Spock and McCoy interactions

“And Please, Mr. Spock, if you won't join me, don't disapprove of me”is a line straight from fanficition

Spock correctly predicting how Riley will feel about being demoted for no reason - trying to look out for the crew and always questioning Kirk

Uhura playing for Riley who is lonely → further crew dynamics

The entire confrontation scene between Kirk, Spock and McCoy is great – it starts on a professional basis, Kirk being angry and defensive, and even though McCoy doesn't share Spock's suspicions to that degree he backs him up. Spock then turning the conversation on a personal level – it's not just about ships business, it's about Kirk possibly dying. Kirk then relenting and talking with his two friends about his feelings and the situation. Spock being Kirk's logic and information and McCoy ethics and morals

Great character work for Kirk who is aware of his responsibility, the small line separating vengeance and justice and his own morals

Kirk trying to wait to confirm his suspicions but then throwing caution to the wind and approaching Kodos when he realizes it's not just his life on the line after the murder attempt that would've cost many lives

Lenore rightly calling out Kirk at the end for using people as tools

The Kirk / Kodos confrontation is one of the best character scenes in TOS. The acting is perfect, the dialogue and emotion heavy and direct. The conflicting emotions of a mass murderer and Kirk having to deal with the emotions of confronting the man who directly traumatized him.

Kirk being able to talk down Riley with words instead of force

Kodos realizing what is daughter did making his character even better

set and costume design , fitting music

the whole play within the show thing with its stage & acting

the way the audience gets Kirk's backstory over the course of the episode along with Spock and can gather further understanding of Kirks reactions

the plot mirroring a classic Shakespeare play itself

differs from the other episodes in a nice way- very human and story driven; also murder mystery vibes and film techniques

the tension still holds up despite no real action scenes – first though the mystery of how this man is connected to Kirks past, then the ongoing mystery as well as the threat to Kirks life

Con

McCoy being careless about Riley overhearing him

Although I did like her acting, I think they should've commited to making her insane persona come out gradually / less extreme before the death of her father or play it straight and have her go insane after the death; this felt a bit rushed / sudden

Counter: Kirk fake womanizer

Quote

"Captain Kirk, who are you to say no harm was done?" - Lenore "Who do i have to be?" - Kirk

"What if you decide that he is Kodos? What then? Do you play God, carry his head through the corridors in triumph? That won't bring back the dead, Jim" - McCoy "No. But they may rest easier" - Kirk

Moment: Confrontation Kirk and Kodos - tense, well written and played

Summary: Underrated episode that even though it lacks classical sci-fi elements and action scenes introduces important backstory information for Kirk and gives further insight into his character and morals as well as his relationships with Spock and McCoy while also giving further development between those two. The acting is brilliant, especially Shatner and Arnold Moss, and the tension of the story holds up from the beginning until the end. Previous Episode - Next Episode - All TOS Reviews

[invisiblegarters]

(Absolutely Not) Mircro (Mostly) BL Reviews

I really should find a new title for this. So often none of these are micro nor are they all BL. But I am lazy and bad at titles in general, so it will stay this way forevermore.

With that riveting introduction out of the way, let's just get started, yes?

In no particular order.

Completed

The Loyal Pin (Thai, GL): Enjoyed this one a lot for most of it. I had a great time just looking at it, everyone and everything was so pretty. I swear the show lingered on Freen and Becky's gorgeous faces abnormally long always just to highlight how gorgeous they both are. This is not a not a complaint. The acting was on point, as always, especially Freen who I just loved as Pin. And I loved seeing Becky playing the pursuer and the one who was a bit of a spoiled brat. The plot did get a little meandering here and there - I am not complaining about the length because I would have watched 80 more episodes but it did drag on occasion, and some of the cuts were a little odd. Anin especially seemed to have teleporting powers on occasion. One thing I really did like although it made me furious was how it mostly realistically engaged with the real struggles that Anin and Pin would have to go through to be together. I was furious at Pat more than once for ignoring things that were right in front of her face that spelled out what a shit Kuea actually was and just ignoring it, but the reality of Pin having to marry a man she did not love felt very realistic, especially considering her station relative to Anin's. Not sorry that they went the happy route in the end but I did like that Pin's struggles were real. Kuea was an impressive dick. That guy is really good at sucking, kudos to him. My one real quibble (and what dragged this down an entire point in the end) is the "joke" the king played on Pin when she was removed to her forever house with Anin. I'm not against messing with people but they literally ripped her out of a sobbing Pat's arms, blindfolded and driven off to who knows where. The poor girl was terrified and call me humourless but I didn't find it funny in the least. Not with everything else she'd been through. So final verdict is 8/10.

Kidnap (Thai, BL): This one I actually stopped watching about halfway through and then just binged when it was over. It was okay. I didn't have the ton of criticisms others had, but it also really wasn't my favorite, either. It was a turn your brain off and watch the pretty kind of show, I genuinely do not believe that it ever aspired to much higher than that, and I think that as a show like that it served its purpose. To be honest, unless the show was completely unwatchable I'd have finished it simply because the people losing their tiny minds over the fact that Ohm was paired with someone other than Nanon annoyed the everloving fuck out of me. I am not one who is hugely bothered by branded pairs working together over and over but if I was, the reaction to this would have been a great point in its favor (another is the way far too many "fans" of branded fairs treat the less popular or less liked one, but that's also just people being dicks and would probably happen anyway - it's just having to see the same person get it over and over that is rough). Aside over, the show was fine. It didn't do anything revolutionary but I don't really think it was trying to. Ohm was great as always, other Ohm was a great as the little bro, Leng was fine (he's green and it shows, especially when he has to do some of the more emotional scenes, but he's not bad. And I think he did Q's panic attacks and PTSD related trauma very well indeed). All in all, it was your standard romcom fare. Easy to watch, and easy to forget when it was over. 7/10.

Unknown (Taiwan, BL): Adopted brother trop baby. Don't look at me I don't care I eat it up. I love me a good stepbrothers / adopted brothers who fall in love tale, and so does Taiwan. I had a good time with this one. All episodes were out so I binged it all via Viki which is honestly how I like to do it with shows like this - I just don't have the energy or the mental strength to wait on tenterhooks for another episode when I get super invested and things aren't going well (Jack & Joker nearly broke me and THK kind of puts me in a frothing rage - more on this later maybe), plus it helps when I can consume this type of stuff all on my own. Stuff that I imagine people have Opinions about. Opinions that will probably annoy me. It's why to this day I'm still glad I watched most of MLC in a vacuum and wasn't watching live until the final eps. I just know the opinions on that one would have send me 'round the bend. But this isn't about those shows, it's about Unkwon. I quite enjoyed it! I liked that everyone was kind of a mess, pretty much exactly as you would expect them to be, considering. No one here has their shit together, especially not the one who seems to have it the most handled. I also really liked all the pining and yearning. If you know me at all you know that I am the biggest fan of reverse pining and this show delivered that to me in spades. I could have watched thirteen episodes of Wei Qian missing Xiao Yuan so badly he could taste it. Chemistry was also on point, but honestly Taiwan almost always delivers there, I might worry about the story but I never worry about the chemistry. 8/10.

Night Has Come (Korea, gen): This one absolutely had me hooked pretty much from the beginning, and I loved it so much for pretty much the entirety of the drama. The cast is excellent, I was infuriated, I cried, I sat on the edge of my seat wondering what was coming next...and then the end kind of annoyed me and made the story fall apart just a little. Not enough to kill my enjoyment, but enough to drag my overall score down to 7/10. Would still recommend it though, if only for the ride. But man, one thing Kdramas are very good at it making me furious at the characters. Weak Hero Class 1, The Glory, All of Us Are Dead, Squid Game...just to name a few. All of these had me incandescent with rage at some point or another. Kudos?

Peaceful Property (Thai, gen or "bromance"): Oh my gosh this show. I knew I'd like it, but I did not expect to love it quite as much as I did. Home was such a delightful character. Peach, Pang, and Kan (my girl!) were great too, but for me Home is what made the show. He was a little naive and far too unaware of his own privilege, but one thing I loved about him is that he was never cruel or even that greedy. He was a little (a lot) useless in the beginning, but through meeting Peach and Pang and Kan he learned to be less so, and also finally found a place where he could belong - something he was looking for for the entirety of the show. Family. This show did the found family thing so well without making it too treacly, which I loved. These four people needed came into each other's lives, each of them having what the others desperately needed, and I love that for them. This show just had so much heart. I don't know how else to say it. I loved it so much. 9/10

Jack & Joker: U Steal My Heart IThai, BL): Oh, this show. So I only recently watched Love Mechanics for the first time this year, and I had no clue about YinWar until then. I know, right? But hey, I watched it right in time to actually get jazzed for this show. I love that we had two different shows airing about mafia-esque at the same time that took very different tracks. While Kidnap went the more romcom slapstick route, Jack & Joker did engage a bit with the darker side of it. Literally everyone at the top sucked, but Boss was the worst of them all. And the worst part about him was that he convinced himself that he was doing it for great justice. I was amused, though, because Mark was my darling baby who could do no wrong in Love Mechanics but in J & J it was absolutely Jack. I loved Joke too but Jack was my darling boy who was so sweet and hopeful and that just kept getting kicked down by life every time he came close to finding a way out. I felt for that man so much. My one criticism is that I didn't love the end. Everything felt a little too pat and perfect after what had happened. But it's not that big of a complaint. I don't think I would have loved a bleak ending either. So many of the side characters helped make this one - I loved Tattoo, Aran and Hoy, Hope and Save grew on me, and Nang was gorgeous even if sometimes the things she did made me want to scream. Grandma was the best and Toi Ting was a delight and stole nearly every scene she was in. Love that little girl. So often with shows I find myself just wanting the main characters to get back on screen but with J&J I felt like that way less. Also, I didn't even mind the long run time of the eps. One last thing I will say is that I really did wind up enjoying the character of Rose. I know that she was rough for some people - it can be very hard to like someone that has no clue about their own privilege or how their wealth has opened doors for them that are impossible for other people to open, or how the people around her played with the lives of others like it was no big deal - but I do think that her slow realization about it was pretty well done. She may have started out extremely naive but by the end her eyes have been opened and she's committed to making some real changes. I like to think she succeeds - girl's tenacious. Also, even if I hadn't liked her already, the way she reacted to being rejected by Jack would have made me like her. It was classy. 8/10

I went on for so long about High School Frenemy that I eventually gave up and gave it it's own post. Do what you will that that one.

Currently Watching

The Heart Killers (Thai, BL): Came mostly for FK, am staying entirely for JD. This is absolutely going to be one of the shows where it's best if I just watch in a vacuum, I think. Especially because I'm more than a little bitter and it's going to get worse rather than better, if I'm right (and I almost always am It's a curse). I do think that we can all agree that Fadel deserves the world, though.

Spare Me Your Mercy (Thai, BL): I am in love with this show. There is so much going on here and every week I'm excited to watch but also not wanting it to be over. Tor and JJ are doing so well and I like that it's making me think. Dr. Kan has never done a thing wrong in his life and I will fight people for him. I also kind of love that neither he nor Wasan are both playing a game and are still managing to fall into the trap anyway, both their own and each other's. Just a great show. Also has me wanting to watch Manner of Death so I will be starting that shortly.

Petrichor (Thai, GL): it's a procedural but everyone's a lesbian. I love it. And everyone is so hot. Like I can barely focus on what they're saying half the time my god. I'm really having a good time with this one.

Pluto (Thai, GL): This show is so fucking good. Namtan is so amazing - I love how different Oom and Ai are, even when they are making the same expressions the way they carry themselves is so opposite you always know who you're dealing with. Film is also doing great as May - a delicious mix of vulnerability and strength, uprightness and manipulation. Also my gosh I keep getting slapped in the face with how ridiculously pretty she is like very five seconds. Did NOT expect the memory loss curveball but I am here for it. Also if the PimJanPang triangle doesn't end in a throuple I might actually cry, but if they all make out with each other a little I will forgive the show if it doesn't end with them all together.

ThamePo (Thai, BL): still not committed but I enjoyed the first episode. Someone should have told me Ciize was in it and I'd have been there with bells on anyway. I love her. So far though it's not like what I thought based on the mock trailer, so I'm cautiously into it.

Looking Forward To

Ossan's Love Thailand: we'll see on the comedy. Sometimes it hits. Sometimes it does not. The more slapstick stuff is iffy for me but I do love EM so.

The Boy Next World: oh my god this looks like exactly my thing. I can't wait.

My Golden Blood: No trailer but I don't even care. GIMME already it's been 84 years.

[mothman-can-write]

heya! i also saw your tag about aro maria and ace natasha. i'm very fascinated about that. what's some of your takes on that dynamic? i've personally leaned towards ace/aspec, but it's always interesting to me when someone who identifies along there but more into sex or adverse to romance. just shows how diverse that spectrum is!

This is such a fun question and I'm going to preface it by saying these HCs are purely based on vibes and my own projection as someone on the aroace spec. I like to play around with their sexualities a lot bc it makes for interesting dynamics, but I'll stick to my thoughts about them being aspec for now haha. I can't promise this will be coherent and make sense but I'll try my best!

This got pretty long, so I'll put the rest of this essay under the cut:

A lot of my opinions of marvel characters are influenced by the comics, especially for Maria since we were given so little of her in the MCU. She has an interesting vibe to her that just... sort of screams being entirely uninterested in anything romantic. She's a very private person anyway, but never expresses interest in wanting romance, but she still wants so desperately to keep those she cares about safe. It's not that she doesn't care, because she does, a WHOLE lot. She just cares about everyone in a very platonic, dutiful way. And yet, somehow, she gives off the biggest lesbian vibes in the world. Therefore, aromantic lesbian. It also somehow just makes sense to me that casual physical relationships would be easier for her to keep as a crucial member of an international secret organisation. Outside of her own team who is she going to date? She goes to a nice bar and she drinks a scotch and she waits for the nearest femme to take her home only to disappear in the middle of the night. Satisfy some urges, and prove to herself that she isn't an evil monster to the naked eye, two birds one stone. There's no real evidence to her having any sexual relationships (that i can think of anyway) but the vibes just sort of work to me, or at least that she would have them. Sometimes i think she's too much of a loser to ever actually go home with anyone. So, in that respect, I can also see her as being aroace too. She just generally has more important things to worry about and isn't necessarily interested in things she deems so personal and unimportant.

I wish I could beam the vibes in my head directly to you because I'm doing a terrible job of explaining them with words, but generally Maria comes off as a very cold character who actually cares very deeply about those around her and that can hit home for a lot of aspec misconceptions and stereotypes. As far as I know, she's never been in a relationship either, which for marvel comics is practically an olympic feat. In one comic she says Natasha is the person she trusts most in the world because shes lonely too, and that shes the only person that scares her. what is that if not lesbianism aspec solidarity

As for Natasha, well we all know what her past is like, and I don't think it's a stretch to say that she might have some trauma around it. But honestly I just like to think she would always be asexual bc it's fun. She's really the character I have less evidence for, but I'm a sucker for the trope of a character who is sexualised by everyone around her actually being a big softy who would rather cuddle. That woman could count on her hands how many times she's been hugged in her life, I think she'd truly get the most out of a relationship where she is shown innocent affection. She's been treated as a physical asset her entire life and I think she deserves to be wined and dined outside of that. Maybe its just me trying to break her free and projecting at the same time but let that woman be the little spoon.

IDK man, she just gives me vibes. She's a cutie. She's a hopeless romantic thrown into a world of people that think she's hot. She's been forced to live up to a role that feels like an act, and is only able to play it so well because none of it has felt real from the start. Sexuality has always been a game, and she's so good at playing because she's always been outside of it. The second someone shows her genuine romance she doesn't know what to do with herself. She likes to give people flowers.

In terms of dynamics together, I don't actually tend to mix them together in this way, I usually pick one or the other because the fic is focussed on them having a functional relationship. I do, however, think Maria would be very accomodating of Natasha if they were in a relationship with this specific dynamic, because as characters they have a very similar need of wanting to be loved for who they are as a person. And to Maria any sexual drive is always going to be second to a real human connection for the first time in her life.

Honestly, the dynamic should be great for angst but I can't find a way to make it work because theyre very similar characters to me. Even if Natasha needs someone to love her whole heartedly for herself, someone to love her innocently outside of her body, Maria is still going to give that to her. It might not be romantically, but she is desperate for human connection anyway. The worst I can think of is that Maria becomes frustrated with the fact that Natasha wants more from her, whilst not being able to tell her the full extent of her own attraction, so theyre both stuck at a bit of a stalemate. Suffering in silence through their friendship because they both want something the other isnt able to give and both of them are too soft hearted to ever force it

I think that's about all that I've got in the tank right now, so I hope that answered some of the curiosities you had! Let me know if you have any more specific questions, because i'm always happy to talk about them :)

[legobiwan]

Another story idea:

One of the - and I hesitate to call them "issues" as I think the series is pretty complete on its own - but one of the loose threads from the end of Gravity Falls Season 2 I'd like to tug at is the ease with which Ford finds redemption after his return to his dimension.

On the surface, it seems like the only person he needs to work to reconcile with is his brother, with whom he can barely share a civilized conversation with until after the zodiac is broken and the elder Pines twins are left seemingly helpless in Bill's improvised prison.

And yes, Ford gets the kick in the ass he needs after his brother's memory is erased (at his own hand), as he realizes at that juncture just how much his hubris has cost him (even if he hadn't consciously valued the relationship with his brother before, there have been steady hints throughout the series and books that Ford values Stan in some way, even if he's shit at showing it).

But it's all...rather easy.

McGucket asserts that he's done forgetting and ready to forgive, even though he was probably the biggest victim to Ford's actions and ego throughout the entire series. (There was another post I saw around here about "hurt people hurt people." Bill may have been awful to Ford, but Ford was almost equally as awful to Fiddleford).

Give me a story where McGucket starts to gain back those memories - of his anxiety and panic and near-slavish devotion to a man who barely gave him the time of day. Give me a Fiddleford who won't take Ford back after this all comes back to light, who finally grows a spine and cuts ties with someone who mistreated him for years.

Give me a story where Mabel is outwardly enthusiastic towards Ford, but also afraid. Afraid that she's not enough for him, that she can't be her brother, that Ford will look down on her. Give me Mabel acting out in her most-Mabelest ways to try to both win over Ford and smooth out the relationship between him and Stan (and knowing she's a child coming from an unsettled home life, this hits all the worse).

Give me a story where Dipper realizes the truth of the old quote, "never meet your heroes." Where he finally come to terms with the fact that Ford is just a person - and a very flawed person, at that. A person who nearly sold the world for his ego and worse yet, held his grunkle and sister with little regard, held Dipper's own future with little regard except how it would benefit Ford.

And yes, finally, give me a story where Stan and Ford have the seriously hash things out. Where they ned to come to terms with their trauma from their youth (and the one thing I can't blame Ford for is what happened with the science fair project. Stan shouldn't have been there and he knew better. Stan also knew he was less than second banana to his brother his entire life, and his father made no bones about showing it. Say what you will, but an almost-18-year-old Ford was never going to react well to that situation, nor would he totally understand the consequences of Filbrick kicking Stan out at that age. Stan was also horrifically co-dependent on his brother, something his parents should have helped to sort out way earlier). Stan needs to sort his issues with both his (now-assumedly-dead) parents, as does Ford. Ford needs to come clean as to the who, what, where and why of Oregon. And Stan needs a reason to live for himself, and not for others - especially not his brother, from whom he has an almost desperate need for affection. (And you have to wonder, after 30 years...now that he's gotten Ford back, is there some kind of pit that's opened up in Stan, some raison d'être that's vanished leaving him uncertain as to everything in life, even with Ford vowing change and ships and adventures from his end. That's got to be one hell of a whiplash).

Anyway, what I'm saying is I love Ford but there's a ton he has to reckon with, and worst off, he has to reckon with other people if he truly wants to change. (And oh no, can I think of another two-dimensional being who may be going through the same thing in a time-warped psychiatric institution, hmmm, I wonder...)

[pleasantspark]

Jeffy's 20th Birthday vs Masquerade: How one message failed and another one fixed it.

Cw // CSA, SA, ABUSE, Child Abuse

Note: I am aware that SML has in the past did tasteless shit, but in this entire video, it has handled it properly. SML is capable of handling serious topics in which Hazbin failed to do.

SuperMarioLogan is a puppet indie tv webseries where Logan Thirtyacre and a bunch of his friends record videos that were originally for adults but has somehow catered to kids.

These videos are true edgy, and inapproperiate and somewhat even NSFW. Today we'll be talking about Jeffy's Birthday. Which was uploaded 10 days after my 20th birthday.

Jeffy's 20th Birthday comprised heavily of flashbacks abour Jeffy's childhood, and compared to Masquerade was handled better than what the message was about, it didn't have the main villain act all goofy and menacing and it showed that the person being abused did not like it.

In J2B, Feebee was sexually assaulted by CJ, and we see the mental toll it took on both her and Jeffy. Jeffy was obviously traumatized due to his guilt of not protecting his sister. Even mentions of the guy flies Feebee into fear.

Fear.

In which Val lacks to put into Angel Dust, to me, Angel Dust seems like he wants the poison. I know some victims go back to their abusers, but Angel Dust only did because it was for plot reasons and a major disagreement with Husk. It seems forced and almost for the sake of people wanting HuskerDust.

Angel compared to Feebee feels no genuine fear, other than having a panic attack at the end of Poison, he for the most part spends his time listening to Val's abuse. If anything, it seems like Angel tolerates being yelled. Which is a form of abuse.

Feebee reacting negatively to being SA by CJ coupled with the fact of Jeffy bearing witness to his sister's abuse caused him to hurt CJ, what has Husk done in order to stop Val?

Nothing.

He has done nothing to stop Val, other than to babysit Angel Dust at the "consent" club, Husk is NOT suitable to be Angel Dust's partner, he's just babysitting a grown man who Made his choices and every now and then he's living like there's no tommorrow.

Angel Dust's poor characterization and sudden switchup seems forced, and unlike Feebee was "able" to stick up to his abuser, Feebee never had the chance to do so.

She died after getting hit by a truck (more precisely Woody's truck.), by the end of the video, Jeffy advenges his sister and kills CJ.

So in conclusion, Jeffy's 20th Birthday showcases actual trauma and reactions by a victim of abuse. Rather than Angel Dust, who we see is being babysat by Husk in Episode 6. It's ridiculous to think he's supposed to represent a victim of abuse when its giving me mixed signals.

[wortsandall]

EXACTLYY ABOUT THE SILCO AND JINX THING!!! like, im not saying he was the best person or father ever (he was a good father in that he knew what jinx needed, but raising her as his kind of lieutenant in the mafia was obviously not a good move lol) but saying he never loved her or cared for her???? like did we watch the same show????

i never doubted for a SECOND that he loved her, but i understand people probably weren't sure during act 2 and okay, that makes sense. but STILL claiming he doesn't love her after watching season 1? what the fuck.

if he dgaf about her, he shouldn't even be keeping her around. we are told repeatedly that jinx is messing up his business (failing to guard shimmer cargo, riling up the chembarons and even causing SEVIKA to doubt silco as a leader etc). pray tell, if he doesn't care about her why the fuck doesn't he just..kill her?

but thats not all, no. because its so fucking obvious silco loves jinx you have to watch the series with your eyes and ears closed to not get it. the bridge scene where he carries her? even tho he has his underlings with him?? going to singed?? that entire scene???

him literally giving up his dream of an independent zaun TO PROTECT HER???? COMFORTING HER AS SHE LITERALLY KILLS HIM????

genuinely, anyone who thinks silco doesn't genuinely love jinx by the end of season 1 is a fucking moron.

from a couple months ago but basically yes silco and jinx are so unspeakably important to me !!!! forever and ever will i stand on the fact that silco loved her. he loved her so much.

regardless of the mom linkage they tried to pull in season two-jinx was his girl. like its been said but jinx was a lot more trouble than itd be worth for him to keep her around and he did anyway. over and over again he picked her over anything else. and now im supposed to believe that its all manipulation? he never cared? to what end?

silco is not like that. empty manipulations for personal satisfaction. which is why he'd be doing it if these people are right. theres no political benefit or benefit for what he was doing for zaun. she was actively getting in the way. so that leaves just for kicks. lemme manipulate this lil girl for fun and maybe get back at vander in the process. that's not silco. there's no gain there.

people just don't want to believe that a man seen as evil can have soft spots or be a good dad. like you can argue that silco's a bad dad fine (i completely disagree but you can argue) but to say he doesn't love her is insane.

and for the bad dad-he's really not 😭 you can disagree with his methods but its not like he himself had therapy. for his own traumas there were things that worked for him, that kept him alive. and he imparted that to her because he loved her and wanted to keep her alive as well. i dont even think what he was saying was entirely wrong. flawed 100% yeah but its not the worst. he helps her to feel useful. to not look down on herself or her abilities. he encourages her need to create and build unlike before where they kept telling her to stop and leaving her behind. the wounds that she had, he tried to heal as best as he could.

because he understood her and he loved her. i go so insane about them. the best father daughter duo. i literally cry every time i think about them for too long, every time i talk about them. every time i see them on screen. she needed him and he was there for her in a way that vander wasn't. i mean the one scene of vander and jinx solo they don't even speak. vander was distracted with a clear favorite and silco made her his priority. i love him. i love them both so much.

[weebsinstash]

Babe! A new Helluva Boss episode just dropped! And Ozzie and Fizz are just so goddamn cute! 😍😭 and Ozzie is such a sweetheart! (I hope he’s genuinely such a softie and not playing an act, we need more softie demons).

Can we please talk about Yandere! Ozzie again? Pretty please with a shit ton of sprinkles on top? 🥺

Bestie thank youuuu I watched that shit immediately and I have so many thoughts

This episode actually shows a big reason why I haven't really published a lot for like, Ozzie or Valentino in terms of actual fics because, my take on Ozzie's personality based purely off his debut appearance would've been a lot more different and now we see that, bro he's, suave yeah, but also, a huge green flag lovable cinnamon roll dork??? Valentino, we only have seen so much of. To be honest the way he's been presented seems to sway from "scary as fuck during gangster business stuff" to "he's kind of a ratchet ho, actually" and I'm not, entirely super confident writing stuff for him because like, I'm more of, assuming? I can't, analyze his character like I can for other characters with more material out for them.

For real though, my current stance on this matter is: Asmodeus, you could go to him and ask for his knowledge and advice on like genuine issues or things you're curious or concerned about like, legit you could sit down and have STD talks with this man ("h-hey Ozzie is it normal to have xyz on my you know what" "oh honey yes that's just like a blood blister from friction you're fine" "oh my god ok good because I was worried it was cancer" "HONEY NO 😩") meanwhile fucking Valentino over here would be like "bitch why you got cellulite" and like make backhanded comments like, oh maybe he could reward you with a boob job instead of your next paycheck (as in like, cosmetic surgery 💀 you know I've thought about that? Yan Valentino who's crazy for ya but, not crazy enough to not make certain, tweaks to your actual body. Maybe he dyes your hair or has it styled a specific way and basically refuses to let you do whatever you want with it. Gets your boobs or ass done. Makes you get fillers/botox for any wrinkles/static lines. Controlling your wardrobe is a must. You're like his little.... pursedog)

(That being said though. I'd still let him hit 😩 reader who gets drunk and fucks around and finds out--)

Anyways though, over here in our corner we believe in unapologetic self indulgence and I still believe a Reader who has magical abilities or powers and whatnot and can travel the rings through whatever convoluted means is a fun time. So. We're gonna do that! I mean. Asmodeus honestly seems chill enough that even if you like, somehow crashed into his club, as long as you were polite and respectful, he'd be chill with letting your hang around, maybe even getting a kick out of teasing you (but never pushing anything too far unless you show interest, and if you show any discomfort or trauma he backs off to re-strategize). I imagine his club would actually be pretty fun? Drinks, live music, although, kind of makes me wonder, how openly horny is this place? Probably not like "coochie in your face" like working for Valentino, so, Reader could even be all "honestly this is such a much more safe welcoming environment to engage in like sexuality" and Ozzie hears this and its like, dude. You might as well have just struck him through the heart with cupids own arrow, but, also, he's curious, what other places have you been?

I'm kind of convinced that if a little imp cunt like Crimson thinks he has the balls to stand up against Ozzie, hostage or not, I kinda feel like. Valentino would probably openly treat Asmodeus like shit. He'd probably be a catty fucking bitch to him. He probably looks at Ozzie as like, a diet coke version of himself, a version who has so much power but doesn't go far enough, and probably scoffs at Asmodeus' romantic attachment (even though Val has some weird on-off thing with Vox himself). Valentino doesn't give two fucks about consent and would probably openly mock Ozzie'e values

Or. They could be big business partners because, maybe there's some sort of inter-Ring porn trafficking pipeline or something, smuggling the good shit up from Lust and trading it with stuff from Sinners, who have more visual variety besides other perks etc

But just picture, Asmodeus and Fizz are, minding their own biz, at the club, chilling, listening to music, eating food vaguely shaped like clocks, and Ozzie's cell rings, and they're both like "aw I bet Reader's calling to say they're having fun at that party or whatever" but they answer it and you're like, hiding in the bathroom or a closet or something, crying, whispering under your breath "d-do you still have a place for me to stay like you said before 🥺 Valentino is really, REALLY drunk tonight and he's really scaring me, he grabbed me and--"

They're both at your exact location in like less than 5 minutes and maybe have to play it off, Ozzie distracting Val while Fizz steals you away, or, juicier, like. Imagine Val snatching your phone from your hand, going through your messages, "who the fuck have you been talking to?" And he pulls like the classic abusive boyfriend move and when he sees you're in frequent contact with someone named "Ozzie" he calls him from your phone and as soon as a male voice picks up, they're both going at it "bitch who the fuck are you?" "Bitch who the fuck are YOU?" "Why you got my baby's number?" "Why do YOU have MY baby's PHONE???" "I'm about to HAVE my foot up your ass, you--" like, you know what I mean? Asmodeus is rolling up and these two are all but butting heads with each other as you have to awkwardly explain how you know both of them and of course, suddenly there's a not quite comfortable conversation about which one of them you... "belong to", neither of them wanting to leave you with the other (although I imagine in a physical fight Asmodeus would win but Valentino would have homefield advantage involving his security dudes)

Either way like.... oh my god watching them lounge in that nice big bed together. Fizz being on Ozzie's chest, like. Give me that 😩😩😩 "oh Reader, baby, so glad you took up our offer for a place to crash, but, since it was so short notice it'll have to be with us tonight" type shit and like you're fine with that but then bedtime comes and. There's Literally Only One Bed. And you're like ok you know what I'm not really in a position to be ungrateful, Valentino could have actually fucking hurt me or trafficked me or whatever, but, you're still small enough that Asmodeus could hypotheticallyyyy just, reach an arm over and scoop up you into his chest for a cuddle, or just have you in the crook of his arm like a cat or a teddy bear. Ozzie definitely sees an immediate perk on Fizz not being so much of a troll as to give you the airhorn treatment your first morning there, so, obviously, they have, multiple motivations to, keep urging you to stay 👀 after all, Val is going to be looking for you in the Pride Ring, and you don't have any other friends, so, you're kind of stuck with their whims aren't you? Unless you try to run off on your own, and I mean. Really. They can just hire someone to bring you back lmao. Or get you themselves. Could you imagine feeling way you uncomfortable around them and slipping away and suddenly you find a little white demon dog on wheels happily rolling up to you out of nowhere and it's. Fucking tracking you for Fizzarolli and Asmodeus, like. Damn, can't even trust the dogs in Hell. Demon dogs in Ohio be like

Anyways idk I just like the idea of like. Combining several ideas, you do the whole "accidentally did the whole Death Fall From The Sky and crash into Vals sunroof, he keeps you in servitude because you have to repay him, eventually you Fall into Lust and you start basically doing double jobs at both clubs and prefer Ozzie and he eventually has to rescue you". Also like Valentino "canonically" humiliates his partners on social media so I can imagine he's just publicly belittling and negging you all the time. One second you're happy at Ozzie's listening to music and eating unholy amounts of onion rings with your quirky well intentioned clown friend, the next week Asmodeus sees a Sinstagram post where Valentino is just like "cutie was whining she couldn't get any tips so I helped her out 😜🤭🍈🍈" and its just. A photo of you in your work uniform where he clearly just reached forward and tore open the front of your blouse and he is just. Full on deadass without any hint of irony making you basically work in your bra and he's just without any remorse posting photos of your running mascara and you're clearly crying but what can you do?

Val posting a photo of him literally shoving a tip INTO your bra, his FINGERS in there, and other like little clips and snippets of him demeaning you while you're like actually fucking blubbering "and make sure to get me extra ice!" "*sobbing noises*" "I didn't hear a REPLY! Do I need to take some of those nice tips I'm helping you make?" "N n noOo I'm sorry" "sorry WHAT?" "M sorry mister Valentino, I'm sorry, I'll get your drink right away mister Valentino" and Val is just slapping your ass HARD as you turn to leave like and just laughing like this is the most fun he's ever had

like I feel like Asmodeus realistically would only be able to do so much IN Pride itself (because would You show up in your boss' turf doing your own shit? Big risk) BUT, I mean. You go down to Lust and you're basically fair game. You show up to your next shift after The Boob Incident and Ozzie's like "giiiiiiiirl imma keep it real with you, I know you wanna try and be independent but I got some concerns--" and he's barely even halfway through it before you're just, TEAR EXPLOSION, "i hate working for him, I HATE IT, I wanna work HERE full time, but I don't have a place to staAaaAaay" and just. Some UGLY crying because you're at wits end

Zero hesitation here's Asmodeus "Sweetie what kind of apartment do you want??? You want a penthouse? I can get you a penthouse?? You want some shopping money?? Tell Big O whatever you need." and the next thing you know Valentino is scrolling through Sinastagram and has to do a double take as your account starts posting all kinds of photos of you looking cute and having fun and, poolside in a bathing suit and you're becoming more comfortable with your body and your sexuality and, he's thirsty absolutely, goes to try and tease you or make fun of you and you're just like "you wanna fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid" and just ignore him as Val is forced to watch you pal around with Asmodeus (either as just friends or total fuck buddies like, deadass catch me out here "hey so, there's this position I've always wanted to try--")

[sepko1]

The Known Timeline of the Freeman Immortal

The end will always be Someone Else, but I like fleshing out the story of how the Gordon Geeman got there.

Once Upon a Disparate Timeline...

He was dying. Neither the Vortigaunts or the G-Man could save him from this fate. So a deal was made. Alyx ultimately gave the go-ahead, a decision she wouldn't take lightly, but one she and all of creation would ultimately pay dearly for.

The First Days

The Employers are skeptical but are convinced by the G-Man that bringing the one and only Gordon Freeman into the fold would ensure incredible returns. Gordon, a hopeful glint in his eye, hopes to change things now that he has this power given to him. It’s a long road ahead.

Sacrifices

The Job is not without its drawbacks. You leave everything behind; who you were, who you knew, all that you fought for. But how do you leave behind the horrors and trauma that you’ve both created and defeated? How do you leave all that without seeing it to the end? These doubts begin to burrow in Freeman’s mind. He keeps a single token of the man he once was, a tool to be used, not unlike himself under the employ of the Syndicate.

A Final Word

The G-Man has taught Freeman all he knows, all Gordon can do now is go before their employers and impress upon them his value to the Syndicate. Something, however, isn’t right. The G-Man can sense it. There is no turning back, however, Gordon Freeman’s existence now rests in the hands of those even the G-Man dare not cross.

Seeing the End

The Employers are satisfied, but Freeman can’t ignore his doubts any longer. He needs to see how it ends. And so he goes, off the books, timeline after timeline. Win, lose, or stalemate, the end is always the same for him: Lying dead in a world that has long forgotten him. Something clicks, or maybe snaps, here.

All Forgiven Now

He stares down at the corpses of the ones who made him, and of the one who brought him into the Fold; their hope and confidence that he could be anything but what he was became their undoing, but he forgave them all the same. Alas, there was only one person he couldn't forgive, and the Freeman Immortal will make sure he'll never make that mistake again. The Purge begins.

The Downfall

The G-Man is dead. Freeman has stolen the power he needs to make more than just nudges to his destiny. His newfound power is overwhelming, and changes far more than just his fate. He massacres entire timelines trying to make things right, and neither the Employers nor the Vortigaunts know how to stop him. His mind faltering, fragmenting, he imprisons Alyx, controlling her Vortal Bond, the final piece for his attainment of ultimate power. The Vortigaunts finally find Gordon and invite him to talk in an attempt to dissuade him from this path. They tell him the power he’s accrued will eventually be the end of him, another prophesied death. He refuses. He is the Freeman Immortal.

Extinction

The Employers now try to bargain, Freeman refuses, and severs all links to their plane of existence. Seemingly out of options, the Vortigaunts wage war on the Freeman Immortal. His power growing, Gordon slaughters almost all of them. He begins to rebuild his universe anew, the man he once was now a distant thought. He shuts down timelines that might be a threat to him, ending countless lives. In a rare show of lucidity, he visits Alyx one last time, who manages to make him let his guard down just long enough for the Surviving Vortigaunts and an undead G-Man to find him. Freeman fends off G-Man but can’t stop the Vortigaunts from taking Alyx. Furious, the Freeman Immortal destroys it all, enveloping all of existence in a shattered white void. The Suriving Vortigaunts take advantage of this, trapping Freeman and reversing as much of the damage he’s done as they can. The Undead G-Man, the final act of the Employers, corners Freeman. The last thing he sees is Alyx turning her back on him. The last thing he feels is rage.

Epilogue

The Freeman isn’t dead, but he’ll never live again. Such is the contradiction of a man like him. His final resting place is somewhere far out of reach from his previous Employers, known only to Alyx and the Vortigaunts. There he will stay, forever in the darkness of the world he destroyed. 

[do-i-look-like-a-doctor]

okay but the Naruto universe is so fucking weird yet funny if you explain it and question it.

first, you have this lil orphan broke kid ninja boy named after a fishroll. then, you have an emo kid who acts like he got parents and a good way in life despite the fact he’s equally as much of an orphan as Mr. Broke-Blonde-Bitch. THEN you have this normal chick with pink hair who signed up for absolutely none of this nonsense yet got dragged into it. tell me why it’s these three against the world yet none of them can function together? it’s like watching ferrets hyped up on PCP fight over raw spaghetti noodles. dont even get me started when they were in school together, i can bet every person here 6 cents that at some point Sakura aka Ms. Fuckall got tired of Naruto and Sasuke’s bullshit and just tried to abandon them at an animal shelter.

speaking of school and general tomfoolery, why was the dude in charge of these three young squishy brained freaks the most depressed 20 something year old creature on the planet? i will admit, Kakashi is attractive and a great dude. he is so iconic, he misses his old team, and it’s clear he wanted best for his Group of Weird Children but he also reads porn all day and his mask probs smells like cheap aftershave.

if i was a 13 year old ninja child and i saw my sensai (who’s name sounds like cashew) doing all that i’d assume im either about to learn a sick ass skill (how to not cope with emotional trauma properly) or im about to get my ass handed to me. or im about to dropout.

back on track. so you’ve got orphan #1, orphan #2, Ms. Get-Me-Out-Of-Here, and Emotionally Repressed Man in one team. what do the kids do? beef for like 3048384 episodes. what does Kakashi do? try to teach them the power of friendship the entire damn series. oh, and let’s not forget that Naruto apparently has a demon fox inside him because of course he does.

anyways, once the team gets good at teaming they haul off to take their lil ninja exams. who do they meet? some kid named Gaara with smudged eyeliner and shaved brows. he’s a red-head, that’s cute. oh and he can control sand and tries to kill every child in the exams because his dad is a piece of shit hipster. who else do they meet? a kid named Rock Lee who can kick really hard, a girl named Tenten who wishes for all of us to stfu, and poor Neji who can’t keep doing this. there’s also some guy named Guy. yeah, the chunin exams nearly flop because Gaara doesn’t know how to act right.

all this is happening but the pivotal of it all? Sasuke decides to be extra emo and FUCKS OFF TO KILL HIS HALF BLIND SICKLY OLDER TWINK BROTHER.

then, Naruto decides he wants to harness his powers and FUCKS OFF WITH AN OLD ASS BUSHY HAIRED MAN WHO WRITES PORN. Jiraiya needs to be studied on a microscopic spiritual level. he is why SCP’s exist.

who let these kids out? i told you all not to feed the animals and look what happened. now theres beef between a group of kids and the akatsuki.

oh and the akatsuki?? don’t get me started. wtf is that. why is this group of fucked up people with weird powers who are being led by a ginger hive mind of corpses just wandering around? and why is Weasel, aka Itachi, in the middle of it with his goofy explosive hypnotic eyeballs? i want them all put down.

so you’ve got the evil eldirch horrors in the streets. thats fine. Naruto gets put into a new gang cuz Kakashi has to hospitalized. cool, whatever. Naruto decides to start hutning down his rogue boyfriend alongside Sakura, who became a sickass ninja doctor, along with his new sensei Yamato. wonderful… THEN SOME BITCH NAMED SAI SHOWS UP.

DO NOT GET ME STARTED.

what is that? why is it emo? why is its tongue tattooed? put it back outside bro i stg. i love him so much.

everything is just everywhere in this anime bro I can’t. Sasuke is no where to be seen, Naruto is doing fuckall across the world with his groupie, Kakashi is lowkey sad again cuz his kids are gone, and Sakura can barely breathe without issues occurring.

not just that but the twink brother named Weasel is being stupid and enables his own murder. yeah he basically wants Sasuke to come for his ass. meanwhile, Naruto comes home bigger, better, older but still broke and full of fox demon. still, not a single soul except his friends and teachers like him. shit gets even more wild, it becomes knock-off Cheetah Girls vs. The World.

girl i gotta go before i hurt someone. see yall in part 2.

(all of this is heavily unedited, apologies for mistakes)

[melodicaprils]

alright everyone. its time for the long awaited mikesys headcanons!!

(no applause)

uh anyway (warning spoilers for my fic that i have not posted) (also most hc r based off of real evidence!!)

chester:

introject of dead father

he acts like what a 5 year olds perspective of what an old man is bc young mike never rlly knew his father

formed first

can b as secretive as mike for some topics

loves rlly old books n cares for them like theyre babies

does care abt the system a lot, he just doesnt show it easily

is actually rlly good at masking

is "too old for love"

color i chose for him is gray

svetlana:

trans n lesbian!!!!!!

physical protector

formed 3rd, around the same time as manitoba

showed up bc the sys' not mentally stable mom was pushing them too much into their gymnastics (also she prob wanted a girl)

has trouble w/ taking breaks from practice

loves "girly" stuff like dressing up n makeup

trash at masking

color i chose for her is pink

vito:

trauma holder, but calls himself the "social protector"

remembers all the physical trauma

has dysthymia (which im pretty sure is like major depression, but its less severe n lasts way longer)

last to form

beats himself up abt anne marias whole "left u for a rock" thing

wears a mask w/ a smile for hours at a time

actually rlly sweet n caring

hates his physical appearance

writes poems (this isnt shown in the show i just think it would b funky)

decent at masking

showed up cuz mike got rejected by the only person who cared abt him

color i chose for him is red

manitoba:

internal self helper

not a fictive, hes just like that

based his whole personality on old australian sexist movies

secretly thinks its funny when ppl dont understand his australian slang

least traumatized

color is light brown

mal:

persecutor + trauma holder (but then bc of a real redemption arc that really occured hes now just a protector + trauma holder)

remembers all the mental trauma

reset button? what reset button? systems cant just reset their brain, silly

trash at cooking, like anything can be burnt to a crisp

listens to breakcore (specifically breakcore covers of classical songs)

was y the system went to juvie

main host for the entire time there

hated it after a while

like many former persecutors, he thought what he was doing was best for the body

doesnt actually hate the system (except for mike i mean what)

secretly enjoyed it when zoey treated him lovingly cuz she thought he was mike

color is dark blue