#my own meta

[ineffable-suffering]

The Bentley Handle Easter Egg

[Author‘s note: This humble mini-meta was liked by Mr. Gaiman himself which makes me not only feel very honoured but also believe that my guess at the end could just be true, heh. Thanks, Neil!]

I‘m probably not the first one to notice this but I still feel compelled to post it because it puts a smile on my face every time I see it:

We all know that the Bentley Handle is somehow Crowley‘s instrument to stop and start time in S1E6 when the world‘s about to end. It‘s one of only two of the remains from the burning Bentley.

So, you can imagine my surprised frown when I watched the first scene of S2E1, In The Beginning, and:

… there she is again! Starting time for, well, the very first time.

It‘s definitely the exact same handle, which means that Crowley got to keep it (or secretly took it with him) post-Fall. And then probably kept it hidden/stored away in different places over the millennia, including in the Bentley.

What a neat little piece of easter egg shell! Thank you Neil!

[housecantori]

Interesting that it's not a more common interpretation of Solas that he wants you to stop him.

By the end of trespasser (with a romanced or friendly Inquisitor, at least.) He lays out his plan and what the consequences will be. He says he's been committed this so long he has to continue. Inquisitor has shown him this world is beautiful too, but he's too stuck on his own mistakes vis-a-vis Elf Mortality.

Solas is too sad of a man about his own future actions to give me any impression other than someone who is clinging to a sunk cost.

He knows it isn't right. His time with the Inquisition proved these people are just as alive and worthy of this world as the ancient Elves. He just can't let go. Not when his actions doomed Elves to a life of being overwhelmingly magic-less and second class citizens, as well as mortal. It's too personal, too "his fault" to let go even when he knows it's not the right action anymore.

So he tells his friend, a doomed mortal who stumbled in to being a hero by being at the wrong place at the wrong time and also the person who has been fighting for the sake of Thedas this whole time. He gave us his plan.

Solas wants the Inquisitor after him, so that he doesn't have to give it up, he wants to be stopped. He's an idiot clinging to a sunk cost fallacy, and he can't let go. He needs us to tear him away from it.

[loriache]

"I've been waiting for ages for somebody to unmask them."

This moment tends to elicit negative reactions in a first read through, and I've got some opinions about why where Kabru is coming from here actually makes a lot of logical sense. So I thought I'd elaborate on that.

I think people hear this and go, "He thinks they must be hiding something because they gave money to someone? What a cynic." Or "he dislikes them because they did charity?? What's wrong with this guy!". And obviously, a lot, a lot is wrong with him. But I think this makes more sense than it seems at first glance! What people evaluating this judgement miss is why Kabru is paying attention to Laios and co to begin with.

Kabru knows of the Touden siblings because (he's a little bit of a stalker-) he is keeping an eye on all the relevant parties in events developing on the island, in order to be able to guide them to his preferred outcome. This includes adventurers because they are the ones actually exploring the dungeon! He's well aware that something as minor as internal tensions between party members could be key to the historical events that are developing. (He would love the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand.)

His desired outcome is that whatever the rewards are of breaking the dungeon's curse, whether that's kingship or the ancient elven secrets of dungeons, are claimed by:

A) a short lived person

B) Someone who will be a good, effective leader and/or use those secrets and the power they carry wisely, with foresight, and to establish a political bloc for short lived people.

The person he can best trust to do this is, of course, himself. But due to his PTSD regarding dungeons and monsters, he's not able to develop the necessary skills to conquer the dungeon. Once he realises this, he starts looking for someone else who he can support to that end.

But most of the adventurers don't have any intentions of conquering the dungeon, don't have the skills, or are unsuitable in other ways. In fact, it seems like some potentially suitable people are the Toudens. There are a lot of good rumours about them going around - they actually seem to have a very positive reputation! That's what Kabru means when he says "unmask".

So when Kabru is observing something like them giving money to an old comrade from their gold-peeling days, he doesn't consider it a problem because "they're giving money to this person who doesn't actually need it" or because they must have some dark secret if they act superficially nice. I think he actually understands this situation and what it implies about Laios (in particular) perfectly well.

Laios and Falin gave money to an old comrade who got injured and couldn't work. That person then healed up but kept taking their money. Then he used the money to start smuggling illicit goods to the island.

The key is that for Kabru, the problem here is the same as with the corpse retrievers - people using the dungeon's resources to fuel dangerous, selfish, or violent pursuits cause problems for the island, attract more criminals and people with motives other than breaking the curse, and increase the chances of the whole situation ending in tragedy.

Kabru is willing to work with the Shadow Lord of the island if it gets him to his goal - he isn't scrupulous - but the criminal element of the island increasing is something he sees as a major issue.

Also, when you're evaluating someone as a candidate for power, riches, secrets, potentially kingship - then being curious about how the money you give to people is going to be used is kind of a relevant trait!

Interpersonally, Kabru's actually very easygoing - I mean, Mickbell isn't exactly an upstanding guy, is he! But Kabru likes him and they get along well. These traits wouldn't be a problem at all in a friend, or a comrade, or someone Kabru was confident he could use. But he can't get a handle on Laios, and Laios is someone who has the potential to be a major player!

On Laios' end, this is the same as with the marriage seeker who joined their party. She kept asking for things and he gave them to her, because he tries to be nice to others. He even gives her money! It's the exact same thing.

That's fine, but it became a problem because he basically wasn't interested in her motives, didn't notice she was trying to manipulate him, and it also didn't occur to him that the other party members would notice or be affected. We can assume the situation with the gold peeler is the same. When Kabru says that "It's not that they're bad people, they just aren't interested in humans," he isn't wrong.

The extent to which this is true of Laios is linked to his autism imo, (because it isn't just disinterest - he genuinely isn't able to notice nonverbal cues that people are lying to him or have ulterior motives) but to a greater or lesser extent I think it's a very common trait. Most people aren't actually that interested in other people who aren't close to them. Kabru is the weird one here. It isn't an issue except as a leader - which is why we see an immediate comparison to the Island's Lord, because that's how Kabru is evaluating them.

And disinterest in/lack of ability with people to the extent Laios exhibits it, it does, actually, make him a worse leader... it's just that as we see in the story, people can help him out. The rest of the party tell him the marriage seeker is taking advantage of him so he tells her he can't give her special treatment anymore. They're pissed and it's a crisis point - he couldn't have recovered their trust without Marcille and Falin - but that's exactly the point. With Marcille and Falin, he was able to recover their trust.

And he has other good traits that make up for it, such as his intelligence, strategic knowledge, open-mindedness and sense of fairplay.

Kabru doesn't disqualify Laios as a candidate based on what he sees about him from afar, though - he still tries very hard to get close to him, obviously hoping that if he manages he can steer Laios to defeat the dungeon and make up for his lack of people-skills in the aftermath. (Which... he does eventually achieve that goal!) He completely fails until the events of the story, so... definitely I think "They just aren't interested in humans" could also partially be a stung reaction to Laios' complete disinterest in him.

Anyway, that's my read on what exactly Kabru's "issue" with Laios is. Obviously, once he does find out what Laios' true nature is like - about his love for monsters - he develops an entirely new set of fears about Laios' priorities. But since Laios kept that a secret until the start of the story, he has no idea of that yet.

Given all that, I think it's interesting that he says that he doesn't think that the Toudens are suitable to defeat the dungeon, and that he's hoping they'll turn out to be the thieves. As some of his few potential candidates, people who he thinks may play a big role in the island's future, you'd think he'd hope they would be good people!

I suppose it's better, in his eyes, because it means that he's involved in something "interesting". They haven't just had their stuff stolen by regular criminals (boring, puts them further away from his goal) - they've been caught up in the beginning stages of "a historic event". The desperate and dwindling group forgetting morals in their quest to retrieve their lost comrade probably appeals to his sense of melodrama. Because he also just... loves drama.

Despite it being "uglier than anything he was expecting", he still pursues Laios as the person he wants to conquer the dungeon pretty much as soon as it becomes clear that he won't be able to do it himself and they are out of time. That's because... well, to be fair, there aren't any other options. And he fits standard A: he's short-lived!

and Kabru still hopes he can fit standard B, too, and be persuaded to use the power he wins for good. No matter how many nightmares he has about Laios, or whether he thinks about killing him. He doubts him, but ultimately he puts his faith in him and seems happy after the manga's ending that he made the right decision.

[s0fter-sin]

thinking about the way ghost doesn't hesitate to start killing shadows when graves betrays them but soap only takes one hostage

you can almost hear the voice in his head telling him it doesn't have to be this way; they can still talk it out

"i'm calling shepherd"

his first instinct when confronted with betrayal is to play it by the books: to go up the chain. that goes against everything we've seen him do. he bucks authority at every chance except for the one time he's confronted with the barrels of his allies' guns

he wants a peaceful resolution; for the first time we've ever seen, he doesn't want violence to be the answer. there has to be another fix, a solution that doesn't end with him killing the same men he's been working with; his friends

nothing's happened yet

it doesn't have to go this way

but ghost has been betrayed before. he knows the way this ends; either with him six feet under or his enemy

he doesn't hesitate

it's only when they knock alejandro out that soap shoots; when they spill the first blood and cross a line they can never come back from

only when ghost orders him to run and he has to cover his retreat

and somewhere along the line, between civilians’ screams and taunting voices, between his shaking breath and ghost steady in his ear, that naivety is stripped away; his trust turned to teeth that he uses to sink into throats of men he'd have given his life for

"be careful who you trust, sergeant; people you know can hurt you the most"

he's learned the price of trust

just like ghost did

but unlike ghost, he has someone to guide him through the aftermath

"good advice, It"

[ineffable-suffering]

I fully agree with you on that being Crowley‘s very valid point of view and him having all the right in the world to feel hurt and betrayed by how he witnessed the Final Fifteen from his side.

I do however want to chuck in that I think the very same goes for Aziraphale too. I love both characters so very dearly and I feel for both of them so much my silly heart aches with it – and that’s why I just want to point out that Aziraphale‘s POV in this is just as heartbreaking as Crowley‘s is.

Ever since S2 dropped, I‘ve heard a lot of things said along the lines of:

„How could Aziraphale say he forgives Crowley? When he‘s the one who said such horrible and deluded things in the Final Fifteen and wanted to change Crowley back into an angel and force him to join the abusive institution again that chucked him out like a piece of mouldy bread for only asking questions. How could he be so blind and ruthless after Crowley just poured his heart out to him! If anything, Crowley is the one who deserves to dish out forgiveness, not Aziraphale!“

To this I say, imagine: you reading my insanely long meta on how Aziraphale did none of this voluntarily and had no choice whatsoever but to do exactly what he did during the Final Fifteen (and yet meant none of it, which makes it all the more fucking painful).

And to this I also say, imagine:

Your story on Earth starts in Eden, just and holy as any Principality should be, and approximately one and a half minutes into your new job assignment, you go directly against the will of the Almighty Herself and ensure that the punishment of humanity instead spirals downwards upwards? into their survival — oh, deary — to which the serpent of Eden who (accidentally? who knowsssss for ssssure) started this all and witnessed your little swordy survival give-away, only shoots you a captial-L Look, doesn’t rat you out and instead lovingly teases you for it and whoopsie, would you look at the time! Because of this silly encounter, you go ahead to circle each other for 6000 years over ox ribs and wine, over oysters and house brown, in damp places and during revolutions, at Shakespeare plays when offered an Arrangement, in bombed churches with saved books, in a century long silence and suicide-pill deliveries, during trying and succeeding to prevent the inevitable end of the literal World.

He saves you. Over and over again. He asks you to run away with him. Over and over again. And you know roughly three things:

1. You love Her because that‘s the only thing you were ever meant to do. (1a. You don‘t love them, though. They treat you awfully. They treat everyone awfully. But you have to go along with them, as far as you can.)

2. You love him, too, because there was never any way that you wouldn’t. (2a. He loves you too.)

3. And if you ever let that second knowledge slip to anyone, any single one other being in Heaven or Hell or the universe, they would make sure he’s destroyed for good. It‘s not a worry or fear. It‘s a fact. Without any subpoints.

A fact that, like a stone, sits in your stomach with every forkful of secret dinners shared. Burns on your tongue with every sip of nightcap whiskey drunk in shared silence. Chains up your unbeating heart with every look into those yellow eyes, hidden behind yet another ridiculous pair of sunglasses.

He saves your books and you love him. Desperately, wholly, so much so that you don’t know where the — excuse the French — fuck to put it. You try to repay him for once in your life, try to get him out of a predicament for once, try to thank him for once, tell him to trust you, and it almost gets you both killed. (Not by a bullet. But by your third fear knowledge come true).

You manage to swerve the car just in time to avoid the most collateral damage of your life but it‘s a searing reminder of what‘s at stake. Him. He‘s at stake. If you slip up, either of you, if you let down your guard, they will punish you and they will destroy him.

Hell doesn‘t send rude notes.

The end of the world comes and he begs you to come with him. To be with him. But you can’t.

Knowledge #3: Loving him would mean loosing him. Running away with him would mean putting a target on his back.

You danced the dance that both of you have learnt so carefully for over 6000 years. You got him the god damned suicide pill in case things went pear shaped. You told him he was going too fast when really all you wanted was to floor that pedal yourself. But if you had, if you do, it would have and will cost you his life. He wants to take you away, hide you, keep you, protect you. You know that letting him do so will be his death.

So, you turn him down. You try so hard to. „I don‘t even like you!“ He knows it‘s a lie. He knows you too well but you can‘t. You can‘t. Instead, you save the World. With him. Against all odds. It‘s the one chance you get. And you get it right. You saved it. You saved each other.

You saved him.

You hold hands all the way back to your home. Tentatively, so carefully, like picking a stray eyelash off someone‘s cheek, you let yourself think: „Our side.“ You ask for a rubber duck, a miracled bath towel. You tell them to stay. The Fuck. Away from him.

Our side, our side, our side.

You love him, oh, you love him so terribly, so fiercely, that it‘s all going to be okay now. He says you‘re still in danger but you know you‘re not — how could you be, when you look at him. When you can finally capital-L Look at him the way he looked at you back on that wall in Eden.

Our side, our car, our bookshop. Our ball, our dance. And you‘re going to tell him. Finally, finally you are. You see how it‘s all possible, you see both your ex-bosses doing what you always wanted to do and you‘re finally ready to take it without fearing for his life.

You are offered given a coffee.

You get no choice in denying it.

You are told: „Go tell your friend the good news.“ The eyelash on your finger gets blown away but no wish comes true. „It would certainly be within your jurisdiction to re-instate your friend to full angelic status.“

Knowledge #3, the update: If I say no, they are going to kill us both. If I tell Crowley I don‘t want to go to Heaven — which I don‘t — they are going to kill us both. If we run away, they are going to kill us both.

The car is about to crash again. Your foot has been glued to the pedal by someone else. Desperately, you try to pull off another magic trick. Making a picture disappear is easy. Making the love of your life realise that you cannot say no to Heaven and also cannot tell him the truth and also cannot risk his life and also cannot say any of this openly because your every move is being watched again? Not so easy.

You try with your old code, the old dance, the secret language you both have spoken for millenia („I don’t even like you!“) but it fails you because he doesn’t know what you know, his information is different from yours, he‘s not understanding what you are trying to do.

It‘s just a trick, you try to tell him. We‘re not safe, you try to make him see. „Nothing lasts forever“ because if I had to leave it all behind to save you, I would, without a second of doubt. „Come with me“ or they will separate us, hunt us, kill us. They won‘t let us go like they let them go. „I need you“ to trust me. Please, please, please. This bullet isn‘t the real threat, this gun is just a trick. I‘m not trying to shoot you, betray you, I‘m trying to save you. („I knew you’d come through for me.“ — „You said trust me.“ — „And you did.“)

He doesn’t trust you.

Not this time.

For reasons that are entirely his own, entirely valid, entirely understandable to us (fourth wall break, pff) and him. Not to you, though. You thought you could make him understand by speaking your code, dancing your dance, sounding the silent alarm bells, doing another trick.

But the curtain falls. And there‘s no prestige.

The end of the world comes around a second time, bringing you a coffee, and you beg him to come with you. To be with you. But he can’t.

He poured out your heart to you, a moment you‘d been feverishly waiting for forever now, in the one moment you could give nothing but a guarded and false reaction because both of you were in danger again.

You love him. You want to be with him. You want only him, only only only. But you can’t tell him right now, not here, not like this, not when his life is suddenly on the line again and he doesn’t even hear that that’s what you’re trying to tell him. You need to bring him someplace safe first. Need him by your side so they won’t kill him in front of your eyes. But he won’t listen. He won’t trust you. He doesn’t understand the reason behind your begging and pleading. He thinks you‘re actually trying to change him. Thinks you actually take him to be the ‚bad guy’. Thinks you’re leaving him.

He kisses you and it hurts so much and feels so good that you shatter like a glass of Châteauneuf-du-Pape on a old bookshop floor.

���You idiot. We could have been us.“

Yes, we could have. If you had listened, really listened to me. If you had remembered our code, if you had paid attention. After all this time, you think I would carelessly and easily break your heart like this? You think I could be so cruel? To want to actually change you when for the past years I‘ve been trying nothing but to love you and make us our own side? You said it yourself, my dear: „We spent our existence pretending that we aren’t— well, the last few years not really...“ Didn’t I say it so many times? Our car, our bookshop, our side. I danced with you, was ready to overcome all our miscommunications and finally confess to you. I chose you. I want you. But he won‘t let me have you. He won‘t let us leave. He was never going to let us leave. So, I have to find a way for us. I have to fix it. For our side. For you. We cannot run, they will always be right behind us. Alpha Centauri won‘t be far enough. I cannot let them hurt you. I won‘t. I need you. With me. Not to change you, never to change you, my darling, but to save you. But you didn‘t hear me. I didn’t pull the trick off this time, old boy. I’m sorry I couldn’t. I’m sorry I failed. But I have to do this either way, because I‘m not being given another choice. I love you, you idiot. We could have been us.

„I forgive you.“

***

(Addendum: This got a bit more dramatic than I thought and I might have worked through something there, but I guess I just wanted to show what I think Aziraphale‘s equally very painful and hurt point of view was in getting a) no choice about being Supreme Archangel b) no choice in telling Crowley what he had really wanted (which is Crowley, obviously) and c) failing to make Crowley realize this and now having to live with the fact that Crowley really thinks he broke his heart on a whim like this to cash in his promotion. I want to hug both of them and tell them it‘s gonna be ok. It will be, it will. Just wait and see.)

i think it's hard to understand the level of betrayal crowley must have felt, which leads to a lot of assumptions around him easily forgiving aziraphale or not being angry; so let's put ourselves into his position.

imagine: your partner, your best friend, the one person in the world that you love more than anyone else, asks you to change how you look, how you talk, who you are—so you can follow them back to an abusive household that threw you out and told you to never come back.

and they tell you that happy and excited and it's not even a question, it's a "by the way, we're doing that, isn't that great?"

you try to tell them no, it's not, i don't want to go back there, i like who i am now. they hurt me and scarred me for life, and they will do it again.

the person you loves, the person you thought loves you, looks at you and says "but you're bad. don't you want to be good? they can make you good."

come with me, you say. that house doesn't want us, we can have our own, we can build our own home. just the two of us, we don't need them, we're fine the way we are.

"i can change them" they say, as if you didn't try. as if you didn't try to change them first. as if that wasn't the reason they threw you to the wolves.

fuck it, you say. you confess your love anyway because they must know, right? they need to know. "don't leave me" you beg, plead, pray.

"oh," they respond, smiling. "nothing lasts forever."

you try to walk away, they stop you, they make it worse, make it clear they don't understand you like you thought. do they love you or the version of you they created in their head? you can't tell anymore.

"we could have been us," you say. we could have been happy.

you kiss them because you have to, because you will be damned twice over if you lose them without kissing them, because your patience snaps and you think you might die if you don't kiss them right now.

it doesn't change anything. "i forgive you"—for being me? for loving you? for refusing to tear myself apart? for kissing you? it's not like it matters. they're gone. you watch them leave.

would you immediately forgive them if they showed up on your doorstep? or would you be heartbroken and angry? you miss them, you still love them, but FUCK YOU. fuck you for demanding that of me. fuck you for everything you said. FUCK YOU FOR LEAVING.

six thousand years. six thousand years.

it would already be hard to forgive a person you have loved for two years or ten, and it gets worse the longer you know them. six thousand fucking years and aziraphale did that. we know why he did. we know how their story will end, but crowley doesn't.

all crowley has is aziraphale's speech and his face disappearing behind elevator doors. all crowley has is you're the bad guys and come with me and nothing lasts forever and i need you and i forgive you.

love alone does not and cannot fix that. aziraphale took six thousand years of trust and set them on fire with a smile on his face, and i understand the urge to try and find an explanation where he doesn't do that. where everything is secretly fine.

but there isn't.

aziraphale needs to rebuild that trust, he needs to earn it again. and mot importantly, he needs to understand why his words and actions broke it in the first place. but even then—even if crowley is the kindest possible version of himself and aziraphale does everything right—even then crowley would have every single right to say i don't forgive you. i love you and i understand you, we can be together, but i cannot forgive you for that and we both have to live with that now.

they will get their happy ending, i do truly believe that, but it might not be the fairy tale happily ever after you imagine and that's okay. it still counts. it's still good.

let crowley be angry and let them find their way back to each other, even if that path does not include forgiveness.

[juniemunie]

[Abandoned by the Lightners, his heart became cracked with hatred.]

Hitting a lil' too close to home?

[galedekarios]

i can't believe it took me this long to realise that almost all of gale's greetings, whether they are:

low approval

friendly

romanced in act i

to romanced in act ii

to romanced in act iii

are just variations of asking what he can do for the protag / what they need from him

[ineffable-suffering]

The meaning of "I forgive you"

Alright, hello again, I involuntarily dipped for a bit because real life outside of this lovely Tumblr Good Omens bubble got a little bit stressful, but! I'm back for a quick little post to say that I'm currently reading the script book for Season 1 and seeing this line again, spelled out on paper, just shone some more light on the whole „I forgive you“-scene of Season 2 for me again.

Because really, this first time Az says it to Crowley in front of the bookshop tells us exactly what the second time during the Final Fifteen means.

Aziraphale is not forgiving Crowley for kissing him. Or for using this moment to confess and make things explicit between them.

No, Aziraphale is forgiving Crowley for not trusting and believing (in) him.

Let's shove the Final Fifteen to the side for a second and look at this scene from Season 1 under the cut.

The situation at hand: The World is ending, with utmost certainty. In addition, Crowley is absolutely f*cked and Hell is out to get him. He tries to apologise for their Bandstand fallout and explain the other two things to Az (poorly, but he tries). Because to Crowley, Armageddon is a done deal already. Wherever the actual Antichrist is, he's gonna come into his power and the World will be wiped out for Heaven and Hell to wage their war on. Also, Hastur is coming to kick his demon ass. Time to dip!

And yet, Aziraphale doesn't want to come with him. He is adamant that he will be able to reach the Almighty, talk to Her and turn this around. Because if Aziraphale, Guardian of the Eastern Gate, thinks there's even the slightest, tiniest morsel of a chance that he can turn things around the right way, he will do it. Even if it sounds ridiculous. Even if it's a lost cause to everyone else. Even if all the other angels gang up on him and (literally) beat him up.

Even if Crowley calls him stupid.

Aziraphale decides not to be offended by this.

Because this is what he does. This is what a Guardian does. He stays and protects to ward off the intrusion, until the very last second.

Now listen, I'm the last person to blame Crowley for intrinsically wanting to choose Flight over Fight in this very situation, because Lord knows (literally) what happened to him back when he chose Fight and lost.

But at the same time we have to keep in mind that despite his last name, Aziraphale never Fell. He never made the horrible experience of being chucked away by the one who made you to love Her because you chose to question her ways. And yes, in so many ways this choice of his, to still believe that he can change something by questioning and suggesting (both here and in S2), is utterly maddening and hurtful to Crowley. Because it's a mirror of what Crowley himself did and a reminder of just how big the price he had to pay was. Aziraphale seemingly not realizing or understanding this stings. It does.

And yet.

Yet Aziraphale's choice to not take no for an answer, to not let a punch to the gut derail him from his plan, to not let even the most definitive thing such as Armageddon keep him from fighting back, is the one thing that ends up saving the World.

Because even when it all seems impossible and completely hopeless and bloody Satan himself is erupting from the pits of Hell, ...

... Aziraphale picks up his sword and fights back.

And he wins.

Not without help, of course. But might I remind you of what got Crowley to cooperate and not simply surrender like he'd almost done that second?

You might not see it at first, but tucked in between all the posh hedonism, hidden away underneath that tightly buttoned waistcoat of his, Aziraphale is a fighter. And a good one at that. I mean, for Someone's sake, he got discorporated, beamed himself down back to Earth, found Crowley somehow, possessed a psychic prostitute (love you, Madame Tracy), rode a scooter all the way to Taddfield and fought off Lucifer with sheer willpower (and a bit of emotional coercion).

Aziraphale can fight. Smart and hard. And not only that: He can win, too. And he knows it. Because he believes, truly, firmly and wholly, that he can make things right. It's the only thing he will settle for. This, ladies and gents, this is how he ends up saving the World, together with Crowley, Adam and the rest.

Because he didn't accept no as an answer. He didn't look at the impossible and accept it as such. Even when Crowley thought him to be an idiot for trying and even after his initial attempt at talking to God had failed, Aziraphale still found a way to stop The Big Bad Thing from happening.

Which is exactly what his plan is when he ends up being forced to come back to Heaven by the Metatron. (If you still believe this was a voluntary choice, read here). And which is exactly why he is so hurt and still ends up forgiving Crowley for the fact that Crowley doesn't end up coming with him. Doesn't end up understanding, trusting and believing (in) him, just like all the way back at the end of the World in Season 1.

Aziraphale decides not to be offended by this.

[ineffable-suffering]

I'm honestly close to frothing at the mouth because of this. Because funnily enough, I think it might play into a meta I'm currently writing about another scene this might have concerned: Crowley's (in my opinion seemingly misplaced) line: "It doesn't matter, does it? It's too late now. It's always too late", when he's confronting Gabriel while Aziraphale is still off on his Edinburgh adventure.

I don't know if I'll finish that meta anytime soon, because so far it's more of a loose pile of erratic and confused waffling, so here's what I thought of so far and why I think that specific line might have made a lot more sense with this cut scene (nightmare, dystopian vision, etc.) as context:

Crowley says "It's always too late" and yet I sat there, thinking: "Is it?"

Has it always been to late? Because it surely wasn't too late when they realized Crowley had, quote un-quote, cocked up the Antichrist delivery. And it wasn't too late when Aziraphale found the right boy, mere days before the end of the World. And it wasn't too late when Crowley was stuck in literal infernal traffic and decided to simply not die while driving through a burning wall of fire. And it wasn't too late when global nuclear war almost broke out, when the Four Horsemen were defeated by four children, when Beelzebub and Gabriel had to choice but to call off the Great Plan war and not even when Satan himself erupted from the ground to scold his disobedient son. It wasn't even too late when both Heaven and Hell actively tried to destroy Aziraphale and Crowley.

As far as their history goes, it has never truly been to late for them, ever. Just look at all the flashbacks and memories we get to see throughout Season 1 & 2. The story of Job? Not too late, because despite Aziraphale believing it, he wasn't in fact made to fall, by anyone (least of all Crowley). The Bastille? Not too late, because Crowley came to rescue Aziraphale in time. The Blitzkrieg and the magic show? Not too late, because Crowley saved Aziraphale and his books and they actually managed to pull off the Bullet Catch (and Aziraphale also avoided it being too late for Crowley and the both of them by stealing the picture back from Furfur). And it wasn't even too late when the entire bookshop burned down, Aziraphale was discorporated and force-drafted to lead his Heavenly Batallion, beamed himself back to Earth, possessed a psychic prostitute and rode a crappy Vespa all the way to a former American airbase in the middle of nowhere.

Even when everyone and everything pointed to 'too late' being the only possible outcome (like every force in the universe actively working on bringing upon the literal End Of The World) they found another way. Their way.

So, for the life of me, I couldn't wrap my brain around why Crowley would say something as severe and dramatic as this, when up until only a few years ago, both of them had always very much managed to turn almost every single-outcome-situation into a different-outcome-situation, thereby actively keeping it from being too late. So, why wouldn't this just be another one of those? Why would Crowley think that this time, it would truly be too late, if he had no definitive confirmation of it? And even then: Armageddon was as definitive as anything could have been. And yet they made it so that it wasn't.

But! With this missing scene? With this very vision or nightmare or possibly even context- and/or narration-less scene of the bookshop as the last remaining thing on an otherwise destroyed earth? With that dystopian and quite definitive-looking scenario possibly being related to and/or coming from Crowley's mind or being shown to him?

With that, his statement of it "being to late" would make a lot more sense.

I still wonder why it was "always too late" to begin with, according to Crowley, but maybe he meant that less as a since-the-beginning-of-time always and more as a since-he-had-a-nightmare-or-vision-or-hellish-insight-about-Earth-being-destroyed-completely-for-good always.

This is all pure speculation, of course. And yet I am absolutely itching with curiosity about what that scene would have possibly told us and whether or not it might have managed to tie some of the many loose strings (such as this mysterious "too late"-line and the scenes @i-only-ever-asked-questions mentions) together.

Alas, we shall and will all find out in Season 3, I hope! Thank you for sharing this information, OP.

@neil-gaiman at a talk yesterday discussing a scene he initially wrote for good omens season 2 that didn’t end up making the cut— a nightmare set far in the future with terrible things happening that was initially supposed to be the ending of episode two:

“now that i’m writing season three, i’m like “i really wish i’d had that scene”. that scene was the springboard, that scene would’ve given energy and power to everything that i’m doing, because everybody would be watching this going “uh-oh, we’ve seen that, how does that play in, was that just a dream?””

[necrotic-nephilim]

as much as I love the common "Tim worships/stalks Jason" trope in TimJay fanfiction because it's Good and making Tim a weird little freak is Fun, I think the underutilized dynamic is where Jason is the one weirdly obsessed with Tim and makes it Tim's problem.

Like, the moment Jason is confronted with the information that a third Robin exists, the first thing he does is cover his wall with pictures of Tim so he can just obsess and torture himself over it. That is the behavior of a man who is Unwell over Tim's existence and I love it.

red hood: lost days #4

And as much as a shitshow as The Titans Tower Incident™ is characterization-wise (though I think it has far more merit in depicting Jason's character than people give it credit for but I digress-) there's something very fun about the fact that even after kicking his ass, Jason respects Tim and is impressed by him.

teen titans (2003) #29

And on top of that, Jason can't seem to stop trying to ask Jason to Tim to work with him in some capacity.

robin (1993) #177

batman: battle for the cowl #2

While Battle for the Cowl is an exceptionally bad comic, especially for its characterization of Jason and the "be my Robin" bit is taken deeply out of context, I do think it's interesting how obsessed Jason is with believing that Tim is extremely competent, only held back by being "brainwashed by Bruce". (hence him leaving Tim for dead later on in the comic.) Jason seeing a darker side of Tim and wanting to bring that out of Tim, wanting to see what Tim could be if he let go of his loyalty to Bruce is so fun to me, tbh.

And in Robin #177, Jason seems genuinely upset Tim doesn't want to work with him. Jason sees such a raw potential in Tim and is obsessed with it, constantly wanting Tim to work for him and see Tim be the type of person Jason is. And despite Tim rejecting him, Jason doesn't shoot to kill Tim. I just cannot get over the fanfic potential of Jason obsessing over Tim, tracking him and seeing what he's capable of and what he could be capable of. Wanting to make Tim see things the way he does. To Tim it's corruption, to Jason it's freedom. Tim trying to 'save' Jason is fun and all, but Jason trying to corrupt Tim? That's even more fun to me. Watching that power struggle between them, Tim unable to get Jason off his heels as Jason gets more and more possessive and bold with each attempt.

And when Jason sees Tim successfully get Gotham back under control after a gang war, he's impressed. He praises Tim, even. And then Tim just. Breaks him out of prison.

robin (1993) #182

The way they're constantly trying to see something in the other that isn't there, hoping the other will come around? That is the most fucked up hate/love dynamic ever. Jason keeps coming back to Tim, keeps trying to find ways to get Tim onto his side. They're always chasing each other. And I think Jason would be the one to confess love first, the one to do anything to make Tim his. And when you consider after all of this, Tim has his Red Robin arc and is at his lowest, getting the closest he ever gets to considering murder? I think it'd be so fun to see Jason take advantage of that and worm his way back into Tim's life and finally push Tim over the edge.

[revvetha]

[shows up at your door at 2AM] hey can we go through that last D&D session scene by scene and discuss the symbolism and the narrative themes and their implications, and how each character has grown and evolved? But in a normal way?

[actual-changeling]

welcome back to alex's unhinged meta corner, today's topic: the chest touch at the pub. that scene has me in a chokehold for some reason and i still cannot stop thinking about it.

the first thing i wanna talk about is crowley's reaction, since this is the shorter part. he did not expect aziraphale to reach out to him like this and freezes for a second while aziraphale happily chatters away.

they were both walking and the hand on his chest stops him, so he comes to a stop right next to him while he was slightly behind him before that. his gaze also snaps to aziraphale's face, who is very much not looking at him.

they were having a conversation, but the touch essentially shuts crowley up and zira leaves him to get their drinks.

now, my question is why aziraphale does it. sure, it could just be an absent gesture since they're in a crowded place, just that he has never really done so before. i think it was very much planned, like asking crowley to dance and grabbing his hand later on.

a second before he actually reaches out, he also looks back to check whether crowley is where he thinks he is. that is the only time he does that, he was busy looking for a free table and miracles them one when he cannot find one - the look back is deliberate. especially since crowley is practically glued to his side, he has no need for confirmation, he can feel him brushing against him while walking.

the hand motion he does gets me, too. he is busy fidgeting with his hands like normal and has them clasped in front of him. aziraphale lifts them once he gets to "that is precisely the point", yet also already moves it slightly towards crowley, realizes he miscalculated where exactly he/his chest is, looks to check, then looks away again before actually touching him. am i reading too much into it? maybe.

i think it is his version of a little temptation. not only does it make crowley's brain short-circuit for a second, he also gets them their drinks and is now (or so aziraphale hopes) a bit calmer and will take the news aziraphale is about to give him better. the conversation at the cafe did not go entirely as planned, after all.

additionally, something i am not sure if other people have noticed or not is that aziraphale does not just touch crowley, it is a caress. he moves his hand down his chest.

the movement in order:

bar girl unfortunately moves in front of them, but you can clearly see the way his hand takes. to give you a direct comparison of the starting and end point:

a good point of reference is crowley's bolo tie but also the angle of aziraphale's arm while it is still visible.

the best part, in my opinion, is that aziraphale puts his hand right on top of crowley's heart. i think the symbolic importance of that is pretty clear and does not require any more explanation, although it makes me want to throw myself into a river. but that's by the by.

to summarize, aziraphale caresses crowley's heart chest to get him to calm down and not go insane over the news he is about to give him. he is also simply a bastard and knows exactly what he is doing to crowley.

as always, this is me going nuts with analysis, but i'm also curious to hear other people's thoughts on this.

don't tell my therapist about my unhinged meta posts or she will probably be very concerned for my mental wellbeing

[sapphorror]

The Narrator's perspective only gets more horrifying the longer you think about it. Like, imagine being an Echo of yourself—one of many, all made to serve a very particular purpose and knowingly living on borrowed time, if 'living' is even the right word for your current state of pseudo-existence.

You've inherited the mission of a dead man—it's literally the only thing left that you can do before fading, so you sure as hell better believe in it; the alternative would be unbearable. Only you keep failing. With every loop that you don't remember, your lack of agency in this situation becomes starker—you can influence small things, sure, but it becomes increasingly clear that you have no real power, no matter how personally invested you are in the events unfolding in front of you. You are, after all, only an Echo. You've forfeited the right to meaningfully engage with the world.

Worse—every loop you're made aware of is another time you've failed, with unimaginable consequences, though you had no control over these previous iterations of yourself and can't even learn from their mistakes. Everyone around you is operating on a shared perception of reality that you are not part of, will never be part of. After a few repetitions, you are, ironically, the least informed person in the room. All you have left to go on is an evidently outdated script. At the same time, everyone else is experiencing a contiguous version of you, comprised of parts that are, in some sense, also you, while at the same time existing at a complete remove from your current perception of self. Whatever you don't know you did—that's you now. You are, after all, only an Echo. You've forfeited the right to define your own identity, never mind know what it is.

Even worse—this has trapped you within a stagnant hell of your own creation. Nothing you say or do really matters in terms of your own self (the rest of the world is a separate issue entirely). Anything you've come to believe—say, for totally hypothetical example, that you were wrong actually and your envisioned paradise is really a hell beyond any you had the capacity to envision—has about as much permanence as a drawing in the sand. 'You' will continue, exactly as you were, no matter how much you might like to change your behavior. Every possible future has already been set in stone. You are, after all, only an Echo. You've forfeited the right to say anything you haven't already said.

For some reason, no part of any of this has made you feel more comfortable and at peace with the general concept of finality.

The really, truly absolute worst part, though?

There is no one for you to blame but yourself. And that's exactly what turns your story into such a tragedy.

[feelo-fick]

i thought the reason was obvious..??

but you dont seem to get the implication so i guess ill just keep talking and you can listen if you want to

—

that one meme but its them :] sort of a sequel to this

[starflungwaddledee]

happy birthday. you are so, so loved

[my-castles-crumbling]

I am taking a survey...

Fic writers, like this if you sometimes reread your own content just because.

Reblog if you then get surprised by your writing in either a positive OR a negative way. (or both)