#in defense of aziraphale

[ineffable-suffering]

I fully agree with you on that being Crowley‘s very valid point of view and him having all the right in the world to feel hurt and betrayed by how he witnessed the Final Fifteen from his side.

I do however want to chuck in that I think the very same goes for Aziraphale too. I love both characters so very dearly and I feel for both of them so much my silly heart aches with it – and that’s why I just want to point out that Aziraphale‘s POV in this is just as heartbreaking as Crowley‘s is.

Ever since S2 dropped, I‘ve heard a lot of things said along the lines of:

„How could Aziraphale say he forgives Crowley? When he‘s the one who said such horrible and deluded things in the Final Fifteen and wanted to change Crowley back into an angel and force him to join the abusive institution again that chucked him out like a piece of mouldy bread for only asking questions. How could he be so blind and ruthless after Crowley just poured his heart out to him! If anything, Crowley is the one who deserves to dish out forgiveness, not Aziraphale!“

To this I say, imagine: you reading my insanely long meta on how Aziraphale did none of this voluntarily and had no choice whatsoever but to do exactly what he did during the Final Fifteen (and yet meant none of it, which makes it all the more fucking painful).

And to this I also say, imagine:

Your story on Earth starts in Eden, just and holy as any Principality should be, and approximately one and a half minutes into your new job assignment, you go directly against the will of the Almighty Herself and ensure that the punishment of humanity instead spirals downwards upwards? into their survival — oh, deary — to which the serpent of Eden who (accidentally? who knowsssss for ssssure) started this all and witnessed your little swordy survival give-away, only shoots you a captial-L Look, doesn’t rat you out and instead lovingly teases you for it and whoopsie, would you look at the time! Because of this silly encounter, you go ahead to circle each other for 6000 years over ox ribs and wine, over oysters and house brown, in damp places and during revolutions, at Shakespeare plays when offered an Arrangement, in bombed churches with saved books, in a century long silence and suicide-pill deliveries, during trying and succeeding to prevent the inevitable end of the literal World.

He saves you. Over and over again. He asks you to run away with him. Over and over again. And you know roughly three things:

1. You love Her because that‘s the only thing you were ever meant to do. (1a. You don‘t love them, though. They treat you awfully. They treat everyone awfully. But you have to go along with them, as far as you can.)

2. You love him, too, because there was never any way that you wouldn’t. (2a. He loves you too.)

3. And if you ever let that second knowledge slip to anyone, any single one other being in Heaven or Hell or the universe, they would make sure he’s destroyed for good. It‘s not a worry or fear. It‘s a fact. Without any subpoints.

A fact that, like a stone, sits in your stomach with every forkful of secret dinners shared. Burns on your tongue with every sip of nightcap whiskey drunk in shared silence. Chains up your unbeating heart with every look into those yellow eyes, hidden behind yet another ridiculous pair of sunglasses.

He saves your books and you love him. Desperately, wholly, so much so that you don’t know where the — excuse the French — fuck to put it. You try to repay him for once in your life, try to get him out of a predicament for once, try to thank him for once, tell him to trust you, and it almost gets you both killed. (Not by a bullet. But by your third fear knowledge come true).

You manage to swerve the car just in time to avoid the most collateral damage of your life but it‘s a searing reminder of what‘s at stake. Him. He‘s at stake. If you slip up, either of you, if you let down your guard, they will punish you and they will destroy him.

Hell doesn‘t send rude notes.

The end of the world comes and he begs you to come with him. To be with him. But you can’t.

Knowledge #3: Loving him would mean loosing him. Running away with him would mean putting a target on his back.

You danced the dance that both of you have learnt so carefully for over 6000 years. You got him the god damned suicide pill in case things went pear shaped. You told him he was going too fast when really all you wanted was to floor that pedal yourself. But if you had, if you do, it would have and will cost you his life. He wants to take you away, hide you, keep you, protect you. You know that letting him do so will be his death.

So, you turn him down. You try so hard to. „I don‘t even like you!“ He knows it‘s a lie. He knows you too well but you can‘t. You can‘t. Instead, you save the World. With him. Against all odds. It‘s the one chance you get. And you get it right. You saved it. You saved each other.

You saved him.

You hold hands all the way back to your home. Tentatively, so carefully, like picking a stray eyelash off someone‘s cheek, you let yourself think: „Our side.“ You ask for a rubber duck, a miracled bath towel. You tell them to stay. The Fuck. Away from him.

Our side, our side, our side.

You love him, oh, you love him so terribly, so fiercely, that it‘s all going to be okay now. He says you‘re still in danger but you know you‘re not — how could you be, when you look at him. When you can finally capital-L Look at him the way he looked at you back on that wall in Eden.

Our side, our car, our bookshop. Our ball, our dance. And you‘re going to tell him. Finally, finally you are. You see how it‘s all possible, you see both your ex-bosses doing what you always wanted to do and you‘re finally ready to take it without fearing for his life.

You are offered given a coffee.

You get no choice in denying it.

You are told: „Go tell your friend the good news.“ The eyelash on your finger gets blown away but no wish comes true. „It would certainly be within your jurisdiction to re-instate your friend to full angelic status.“

Knowledge #3, the update: If I say no, they are going to kill us both. If I tell Crowley I don‘t want to go to Heaven — which I don‘t — they are going to kill us both. If we run away, they are going to kill us both.

The car is about to crash again. Your foot has been glued to the pedal by someone else. Desperately, you try to pull off another magic trick. Making a picture disappear is easy. Making the love of your life realise that you cannot say no to Heaven and also cannot tell him the truth and also cannot risk his life and also cannot say any of this openly because your every move is being watched again? Not so easy.

You try with your old code, the old dance, the secret language you both have spoken for millenia („I don’t even like you!“) but it fails you because he doesn’t know what you know, his information is different from yours, he‘s not understanding what you are trying to do.

It‘s just a trick, you try to tell him. We‘re not safe, you try to make him see. „Nothing lasts forever“ because if I had to leave it all behind to save you, I would, without a second of doubt. „Come with me“ or they will separate us, hunt us, kill us. They won‘t let us go like they let them go. „I need you“ to trust me. Please, please, please. This bullet isn‘t the real threat, this gun is just a trick. I‘m not trying to shoot you, betray you, I‘m trying to save you. („I knew you’d come through for me.“ — „You said trust me.“ — „And you did.“)

He doesn’t trust you.

Not this time.

For reasons that are entirely his own, entirely valid, entirely understandable to us (fourth wall break, pff) and him. Not to you, though. You thought you could make him understand by speaking your code, dancing your dance, sounding the silent alarm bells, doing another trick.

But the curtain falls. And there‘s no prestige.

The end of the world comes around a second time, bringing you a coffee, and you beg him to come with you. To be with you. But he can’t.

He poured out your heart to you, a moment you‘d been feverishly waiting for forever now, in the one moment you could give nothing but a guarded and false reaction because both of you were in danger again.

You love him. You want to be with him. You want only him, only only only. But you can’t tell him right now, not here, not like this, not when his life is suddenly on the line again and he doesn’t even hear that that’s what you’re trying to tell him. You need to bring him someplace safe first. Need him by your side so they won’t kill him in front of your eyes. But he won’t listen. He won’t trust you. He doesn’t understand the reason behind your begging and pleading. He thinks you‘re actually trying to change him. Thinks you actually take him to be the ‚bad guy’. Thinks you’re leaving him.

He kisses you and it hurts so much and feels so good that you shatter like a glass of Châteauneuf-du-Pape on a old bookshop floor.

„You idiot. We could have been us.“

Yes, we could have. If you had listened, really listened to me. If you had remembered our code, if you had paid attention. After all this time, you think I would carelessly and easily break your heart like this? You think I could be so cruel? To want to actually change you when for the past years I‘ve been trying nothing but to love you and make us our own side? You said it yourself, my dear: „We spent our existence pretending that we aren’t— well, the last few years not really...“ Didn’t I say it so many times? Our car, our bookshop, our side. I danced with you, was ready to overcome all our miscommunications and finally confess to you. I chose you. I want you. But he won‘t let me have you. He won‘t let us leave. He was never going to let us leave. So, I have to find a way for us. I have to fix it. For our side. For you. We cannot run, they will always be right behind us. Alpha Centauri won‘t be far enough. I cannot let them hurt you. I won‘t. I need you. With me. Not to change you, never to change you, my darling, but to save you. But you didn‘t hear me. I didn’t pull the trick off this time, old boy. I’m sorry I couldn’t. I’m sorry I failed. But I have to do this either way, because I‘m not being given another choice. I love you, you idiot. We could have been us.

„I forgive you.“

***

(Addendum: This got a bit more dramatic than I thought and I might have worked through something there, but I guess I just wanted to show what I think Aziraphale‘s equally very painful and hurt point of view was in getting a) no choice about being Supreme Archangel b) no choice in telling Crowley what he had really wanted (which is Crowley, obviously) and c) failing to make Crowley realize this and now having to live with the fact that Crowley really thinks he broke his heart on a whim like this to cash in his promotion. I want to hug both of them and tell them it‘s gonna be ok. It will be, it will. Just wait and see.)

i think it's hard to understand the level of betrayal crowley must have felt, which leads to a lot of assumptions around him easily forgiving aziraphale or not being angry; so let's put ourselves into his position.

imagine: your partner, your best friend, the one person in the world that you love more than anyone else, asks you to change how you look, how you talk, who you are—so you can follow them back to an abusive household that threw you out and told you to never come back.

and they tell you that happy and excited and it's not even a question, it's a "by the way, we're doing that, isn't that great?"

you try to tell them no, it's not, i don't want to go back there, i like who i am now. they hurt me and scarred me for life, and they will do it again.

the person you loves, the person you thought loves you, looks at you and says "but you're bad. don't you want to be good? they can make you good."

come with me, you say. that house doesn't want us, we can have our own, we can build our own home. just the two of us, we don't need them, we're fine the way we are.

"i can change them" they say, as if you didn't try. as if you didn't try to change them first. as if that wasn't the reason they threw you to the wolves.

fuck it, you say. you confess your love anyway because they must know, right? they need to know. "don't leave me" you beg, plead, pray.

"oh," they respond, smiling. "nothing lasts forever."

you try to walk away, they stop you, they make it worse, make it clear they don't understand you like you thought. do they love you or the version of you they created in their head? you can't tell anymore.

"we could have been us," you say. we could have been happy.

you kiss them because you have to, because you will be damned twice over if you lose them without kissing them, because your patience snaps and you think you might die if you don't kiss them right now.

it doesn't change anything. "i forgive you"—for being me? for loving you? for refusing to tear myself apart? for kissing you? it's not like it matters. they're gone. you watch them leave.

would you immediately forgive them if they showed up on your doorstep? or would you be heartbroken and angry? you miss them, you still love them, but FUCK YOU. fuck you for demanding that of me. fuck you for everything you said. FUCK YOU FOR LEAVING.

six thousand years. six thousand years.

it would already be hard to forgive a person you have loved for two years or ten, and it gets worse the longer you know them. six thousand fucking years and aziraphale did that. we know why he did. we know how their story will end, but crowley doesn't.

all crowley has is aziraphale's speech and his face disappearing behind elevator doors. all crowley has is you're the bad guys and come with me and nothing lasts forever and i need you and i forgive you.

love alone does not and cannot fix that. aziraphale took six thousand years of trust and set them on fire with a smile on his face, and i understand the urge to try and find an explanation where he doesn't do that. where everything is secretly fine.

but there isn't.

aziraphale needs to rebuild that trust, he needs to earn it again. and mot importantly, he needs to understand why his words and actions broke it in the first place. but even then—even if crowley is the kindest possible version of himself and aziraphale does everything right—even then crowley would have every single right to say i don't forgive you. i love you and i understand you, we can be together, but i cannot forgive you for that and we both have to live with that now.

they will get their happy ending, i do truly believe that, but it might not be the fairy tale happily ever after you imagine and that's okay. it still counts. it's still good.

let crowley be angry and let them find their way back to each other, even if that path does not include forgiveness.

[fellthemarvelous]

I get that the bookshop fire was traumatic for Crowley because he thought he lost Aziraphale.

I keep seeing people say they want Aziraphale to know what it would feel like to lose Crowley, but I'm pretty sure my eyes weren't the only ones open when this happened...

Right?

"And that was the last I was to see of Crowley for some time."

Aziraphale has lost Crowley. To Hell.

He could do nothing to stop what happened in Edinburgh, and I can't imagine that he didn't fear he'd lost Crowley for good here.

Aziraphale has experienced more heartbreak than some fans care to even acknowledge. He exists in constant fear of losing Crowley to Hell again. AGAIN.

We saw Aziraphale save Crowley from Hell in 1941 with the human magic trick he used on Furfur.

Aziraphale was the one sitting in the bathtub of holy water after the Notpocalypse, knowing this was the reason he'd been so scared to hand Crowley his own thermos of holy water in the first place.

He's lost Crowley to Hell before and he will do anything to prevent it from happening again.

That's the impact Edinburgh had on Aziraphale. This is the impact that losing Crowley had on Aziraphale.

[idliketobeatree]

btw when you're being mean to aziraphale this is who you're being mean to. hope this helps

[very-normal-abt-this]

Just wanted to remind everyone here that this is NOT the face of someone who has just intentionally rejected the love of his life. <3

[dee-morris]

[goodomens-girlie]

I just know Aziraphale was gabbing with those gays about Crowley and they all thought Aziraphale and Crowley were together, little did they fucking know

[bwlkins]

"Aziraphale really thinks demons are the bad guys bla-bla-" HE LITERALLY PICKED OUT THE NAME FELL FOR HIMSELF

He agrees he's a pathetic excuse for an angel.

He stands by the demons in the last episode and doesn't even get close to the angels.

He gives the first word to Shax. He agrees with Furfur. And all this while he stands right before the Archangels.

[starmaker-astral]

I JUST REALIZED

HELP

I always had troubles figuring out how the stuttering from Aziraphale could say "I can't-" or whatever and some people made fun how the "aga-" sounded so I just thought it was a weird sound but nvm.

Then I randomly rewatched the last 15 minutes remembering that his look meant "do it again"

BUT NO. NOT JUST HIS LOOK BUT HIS STUTTERING TOO???

"Ag-" AGAIN ???????

AZIRAPHALE WHAT

I CAN HEAR IT NOW

Why am I so late 💀 I saw no one talking about it im confused

[dalliancekay]

Aziraphale does NOT need to suffer MORE

Can't believe I have to say this. TW: grief, mourning, death (sorry) I have, since falling into the fandom 6 months ago to escape real life, seen many takes on how Aziraphale needs to (or at least should) suffer in S3 to match Crowley's suffering. As the counterpart to the moment Crowley thinks he lost Aziraphale as he's looking for him desperately in the burning bookshop....

...after this he drinks, we suppose, to dull his pain, waiting for the Armageddon. Or, for the way Crowley suffers at the bandstand argument, the 'I Forgive You' moments, which many people find utterly devastating and incredibly heartless from Aziraphale. Not to mention when he doesn't react in the 'right way' to Crowley's confession in the Final 15. And then on top of that, 'abandons' Crowley. For Heaven. Oh and also for, and I quote: "The smug and entitled way Aziraphale went around in S2 assuming Crowley would love and follow him everywhere." And so for all this pain that Crowley endured for him, Aziraphale should suffer in S3 (to I assume) even out the scores. Or... to deserve Crowley. Some people also want to see him lose it, show his emotions, to cry or beg or otherwise show how much he misses Crowley and how very sorry he is for what he has (so thoughtlessly) done.

Now for the TW grief content I motioned above. You can skip to the next sentence in bold.

I was on holiday late September last year, visiting my mum, stepfather and my two younger brothers. We went to a cousin's wedding. It was great. The day after, as I was hanging out reading a book, my mum got a call. The kind of call every mother fears. My youngest brother (he was 27) died in an accident. We needed to speak to police and the coroner. She cried and cried. She's still crying. She asks questions. She gets no answers. I...did not cry. I talked to the police. I googled a funeral home. I bought my brother his last set of clothes. He lived in a hoodie and torn black jeans. Mum wanted a suit. I texted a lot of people. I bought snacks for the many friends who came to the funeral and wanted to speak to us after. My grief feels like a vice. I am not sad. I do not appear sad. Contrary to what people expect. But I am ANGRY. I am furious. But nobody can see this. I am not fine and I wish no one would ever* ask how I was again. TW/Personal content over. WE ALL SUFFER DIFFERENTLY Since I was small (because I am weird like that) I genuinely wondered if, finding myself in danger, I could scream like people in films do. I don't think I could. I cope with hard situations, fear and stress and anxiety by shutting down, sometimes by retreating as well, and by furiously (but quietly) trying to find a way out. And I think Aziraphale does the same. And that's why I love him so much. And why I feel I get him and understand that people sometimes can't tell how much he's actually feeling. I also express love the way Aziraphale does - by organising things for people, inviting them places, making plans. When Crowley said you call me for three things (and it's basically any old reason) I felt SO SEEN. This is what I would do with a friend who I know is feeling unmoored, sad, stuck (Crowley's 'What's the point of it all' at the beginning of S2). I'd text them with any old thing. I'd never actually say I love you, but I would try to get them to talk, meet me, go somewhere. Aziraphale does not express emotions the same way as Crowley.

But his emotions are valid nonetheless. He is worried for Crowley from around 3 minutes into their acquaintanceship. And he NEVER stops worrying from then on.

And are we quite sure he has never lost Crowley?

How many times did Aziraphale's heart freeze in horror when he realised Hell has taken Crowley and he had no idea if he'll ever come back and what is happening to him?

How did Aziraphale spend the night after vanquishing the demons and starting a war? He had no idea where Crowley was. What happened to him. He was probably sick with worry that Hell just took him away. We didn't see him drink and cry, but surely, the worry must have been overwhelming. The wait for what will happen now.

ALL his worries over the Arrangement. Was he worried for himself? Do we really think that?

Crowley thought he lost Aziraphale in S1, yes, we saw that. And what happened to the angel then?

He got blown into atoms which I bet wasn't pleasant and when he arrives in Heaven he limps. Why is he hurt? And why is he quickly pretending he isn't? Why is he always hiding how he feels? Also, he immediately deserts, wants no part in the Holy War and quickly finds an extremely unconventional way to get back. It's not a grand gesture, he doesn't deliberate, doesn't worry that he will Fall (although surely that must have been what he thought will happen if he survives this), there's no pomp around it, he thinks it and then does it. No hesitation.

Is this coming from an angel who just can't leave Heaven behind and longs to be a part of it? Who loves to follow rules? And let's not forget in those moments Aziraphale thought Crowley was most likely gone. That he probably left for Alpha Centauri. Last he heard from him he was told he was talking to an old friend and had no time for him. Why we NEVER talk about how that might have felt for Aziraphale? About his sadness?

Things are not as simple as Aziraphale has been supressing his emotions and lying to himself about how he feels and he should get over it and become free. That's not how this works. First of all, he was suppressing his emotions OUT OF LOVE. His main goal was always to keep Crowley safe. They simply couldn't run away or hoodwink Heaven and Hell. They had nowhere to go. They had no hope and yet they kept loving each other. That's courage. I know we all grew up with Romeo and Juliet and Heathcliff and Cathy and we FORGOT that those were CAUTIONARY tales. And this is not what Aziraphale wants for them. He would never allow himself to go so fast he would hurt Crowley. He feels guilty enough for agreeing to the Arrangement and for meeting Crowley at all when he knows they can be discovered and punished at any point. And Crowley knows it and RESPECTS it. He does not tolerate Aziraphale's decision to not go on a date and to hell with circumstances. He understands Aziraphale's reasoning and he respects Aziraphale's decision. Don't forget, they have NO POWER. They can't change Heaven and Hell. They can't stop believing in God and work on their religious trauma. Their Heaven and Hell are real places with real power and they both BELONG to them. Aziraphale's trauma and his personality are deeply intertwined and he'd probably never be the kind of person who is open in showing their grief or stress like Crowley does. He will learn to be more open, I'm sure. With his love especially, we see him reaching for and touching his demon in S2. Openly being with him, looking at him without guarding himself. They got a little bit of freedom for themselves despite ALL odds. So. Just because Aziraphale is not crying and screaming and I dunno, tearing his hair out or whatever some people would have him do, does not mean he isn't overflowing with pain, fear, uncertainty, doubts, worries, and so much anxiety that if he let it all out, half of the solar system would turn to ashes.

Aziraphale does not need to suffer in S3 to level out Crowley's suffering. They are, unfortunately, equal in their pain as they are in love. If there is one thing Crowley would never abide, it'd be this take from the fandom. * One more note on grief: (obviously from my personal experience) As initiated by @anthony-crowleys-left-nut in a comment

It's not that I mind to know people care and worry etc, not at all. But asking how I am can only end up in me lying (fine, thank you) and both of us knowing it's not really true and feeling awkward or not lying (I feel like shit, mostly cos I can't sleep and think the world is a stupid, unfair place) and both of us feeling awkward anyway. Does that make sense? I wish I could tell friends/colleagues to ask what I've been up to or something similar instead. What I've been reading (um, AO3, but I'll make something up), watching, do I want to go see some spring flowers bloom (I do). I think...this would probably work not just for someone who is grieving but also for someone who you know is dealing with depression for example or a serious illness etc. Edit 2. It's now almost (in 15 days) a year since my brother died. The random attacks of pain and grief have lessened and I have started to do more of the things I enjoyed before... and I am able to answer how are you questions without feeling like they are trying to mock me (the questions, not the people). So I suppose things do get ... lighter? More diffused? I'm not sure. Because it's still exactly as unfair that my brother has not lived this past year as it will be however many years I will be here without him I expect.

[twilightcitysky]

Everything Is Meant (long S2 analysis, part 3)

Part one

Part two

There's SO MUCH excellent meta out there right now, and I'm going to try not to reinvent the wheel too much, but I want to keep going with tying the episodes/ elements up together because on first watch it wasn't entirely clear how everything fit. I also strongly recommend a rewatch, no matter what you felt about the ending... if you need to stop it 10 minutes early, do that, but you pick up so much more the second time around.

So: Maggie and Nina. I spent most of my first watch wondering why we were bothering with them, honestly. Later in the season Nina, and then Maggie and Nina, gave Crowley some insightful advice, but their actual relationship didn't progress despite all the meddling, and the amount of emotional investment BOTH Aziraphale and Crowley had in making them get together was frankly strange.

I started thinking in terms of mirror couples, since that was such a big deal in S1 and that's clearly what they were set up to be, but I made the mistake that all of us made on first watch: that Nina was Crowley and Maggie was Aziraphale. It still wasn't really coming together.

Then I put the psych hat back on and started to think about displacement. Displacement is a defense mechanism, and it consists of satisfying an impulse (usually an unconscious one) with a substitute object. At the beginning of the season, Aziraphale and Crowley aren't really in a good place, and I think on some level they know that. Aziraphale is trying to SHOW Crowley that he wants to take the next step through all the casual touches and phone calls and inviting him in, and feeling frustrated because Crowley doesn't seem to be taking the bait. (I absolutely think that Aziraphale tried to get Crowley to stay with him at the bookshop instead of living in his CAR, and Crowley said no. That's a whole other meta.) Meanwhile, Crowley, I think, is waiting for a Grand Gesture. Where did he go, as soon as Aziraphale brought up trying to get two humans to fall in love? Romantic tropes. Getting caught in the rain under an awning. A dramatic kiss that opens someone's eyes. That's the sort of thing he's always done, right? Big rescues, impassioned pleas on the street, fancy dinners, "give you a lift anywhere you want to go". He's defensive and guarded and unlikely to let someone in unless he's CERTAIN he won't be rejected, and Aziraphale's approaches are just too... quiet. No one's fault, they just don't speak the same language.

Then, they're handed the opportunity to make two humans fall in love, and they're both All In immediately. Look at Crowley's face when he summons the rainstorm. This is HUGE for him. Why? Because of displacement. Look at Aziraphale arranging the ball and being borderline deranged about it. They're both desperate to demonstrate what they think it takes for two people to move past their misunderstandings and fall in love. They can't do it for each other because the stakes are too high, and if either of them shows their cards unequivocally the vulnerability feels life-shattering. They're codependent and terrified of rejection and also, importantly, have no idea what they're doing when it comes to love. "Saw it in a film", Crowley says. Aziraphale's read about it in books. But they have zero practical experience.

Instead of learning to communicate, they try to say what they want to say through the medium of Maggie and Nina, up to and including the questionable moral decision to exert control over people's actions and thoughts during the ball. If I can just make this come out right, they both think, then things between us will be alright too. It HAS to come out right. They're attempting to gain some control over their own lives, over something that feels so overwhelming and shattering they can't look directly at it.

It doesn't come out right. Nina's relationship falls apart, but that doesn't mean she's in love with Maggie. While Crowley's stress-cleaning the bookshop to the music that played when Aziraphale got his books back in 1941 (just fuck me up David Arnold), they come in and tell him so. "I don't understand", says Crowley. Because it should have worked. Why didn't it work?

They tell him, of course. "You need to talk to each other. Say what you're really thinking." But here's the thing about communication: you have to learn it. You need to get the hang of expressing your feelings without blaming your partner, and separating intent from impact, and staying away from getting defensive and lashing out. No one has ever taught Aziraphale and Crowley how to do this. It's like Maggie and Nina put Crowley in front of a loom and asked him to recreate the Bayeux Tapestry. He doesn't have the skills; he's always going to get it wrong, even if he tries his hardest.

And he does try. But that's where Maggie and Nina the mirror couple, rather than Maggie and Nina the displacement relationship or Maggie and Nina the Greek chorus, come in. Aziraphale, as Nina, has just ended an incredibly toxic, invasive relationship with Heaven. A relationship that invaded every facet of his life, isolated him, and prevented him from being close to anyone else. "Rebound mess," Nina says. Aziraphale is a rebound mess. He's transferred the responsibility for his emotional wellness to Crowley. Crowley is the person he calls when he's in trouble, or (and this is key) when he wants to report a clever/ good thing he's done, or when he's bored. (At no point did Crowley reference Aziraphale calling him for a solicitous reason-- another problem.) Crowley is meant to take care of him. He forgets, I think, that Crowley is a person with his own wants and needs, just like Maggie and Nina are people with their own wants and needs who don't appreciate being messed with. (I think things would have been much different had Aziraphale BEEN THERE for Maggie and Nina's talk with Crowley, but he wasn't.)

And Maggie-as-Crowley? Lonely. Behind on rent, at risk of being evicted (it's important to note that Aziraphale saves Maggie from losing her record shop, as he couldn't save Crowley from losing his flat). Pining. Awkward. Revolving around Nina like a planet, to the extent that we don't get much of an impression of her otherwise. They realize, there at the end, that they both need to round themselves out before jumping into a relationship. Aziraphale and Crowley need that too. They need to take time apart and learn to be healthy on their own. Unfortunately they don't have the skills to get to that conclusion in a healthy way, so it all explodes in their faces and everything falls apart.

Aziraphale tries to teach Nina and Maggie to dance as a substitute for communication. Nina and Maggie try to teach Crowley communication as a substitute for the dance they've been doing around each other. That's the reason they're a part of the plot: they exist to demonstrate the way Aziraphale and Crowley might have succeeded in forging a better dynamic. Sadly, the boys' dance is too practiced and they got sucked right back into it.

It's okay, I think, that Nina and Maggie's storyline never really went anywhere. It wasn't supposed to. It's an allegory, not something that needs to stand alone.

[adverbian]

Am I the only one seeing this highlighted part of that post or what

Like I know we all enjoy the “queer as in fuck you” bit, but the Aziraphale libel is not on.

[azfell-ajcrowley]

The offers that can't be refused: the Metatron-Beelzebub parallels.

Because people keep telling Crowley said no, Aziraphale said yes. Oh, God, give me strength.

Crowley said he rejected Hell's offer, but did he? Let's compare the Beelzebub's and Metatron's methods. Let's find the parallels between the scenes.

The appearance of the superiors is accompanied by bell ringing in both cases.

Crowley and Aziraphale are unpleasantly surprised, they exclaim their superiors' names. Why would such high-ranking bosses personally visit a traitors' hideout?

They remind about the arrangement with their superiors.

The threats: the direct one from Hell, the veiled one from Heaven.

The change of guises.

The flattery.

The knowledge of the Earth as the deciding factor for their choices.

The mentions of Gabriel. It's logical for the conversation with Beelzebub, because the Prince's of Hell motives are already clear. Crowley was summoned for the purpose of finding their beloved Archangel.

What is the reason the Metatron mentions him? And as a benchmark for assessing Aziraphale's actions. From the point of view of the Voice's of God manipulative art, one can understand why. Aziraphale cannot be evaluated on the Michael or Uriel scale, because he himself considers them as bad angels.

And finally, the position offers. Crowley nodds while looking at Beelzebub, Aziraphale says he don't want to go to Heaven.

Bonus: the threats of erasing from the Book of Life. Crowley rushes to Aziraphale intending to save him. And Aziraphale having received additional threats from the Metatron tries to reproduce their conversation for Crowley.

They're the same, Your Honour!

Crowley has refused to be a Duke of Hell just like Aziraphale has agreed to be a Supreme Archangel. Neither of them have responded yes or no.

It's clear this demon lied to Beelzebub, but his angel is also very experienced in this matter. And Aziraphale is accused of doing exactly as Crowley did. Without a chance to get out of it, he decided to keep silent, so as not to incur the wrath of his superior. Namely the Metatron who is even higher in rank than Beelzebub.

[extraaa-30]

how crowley reacts when people on this site shit talk aziraphale

just a reminder 😊✨

[idliketobeatree]

when you think of it. Bildad the Shuhite's last 24 hours in the minisode not bloody optimal

getting a combat mission to kill everything his buddy Job owns just because She got into some stupid bet

the kids too??? horrid

right in the middle of growing out his hair awkwardly that angle appears. perfect timing to get thwarted. not like that

oh no he's now legit pissed, like it's HIS fault

good (bad) that Bildad has a plan. bad (good) that Aziraphale follows around like a lost sheep, ready to blow his cover anytime. not like that

cue the mortifying ordeal of being known

angel's smugness visible from alpha centauri and he can't even wipe it off with an angry kiss

the kids remain alive but at the cost of annoyance. human twink has the gall to flirt with Aziraphale right in front of his demonic eyes. is nothing sacred anymore

unsolicited temptation backfires badly ( he didn't sign up for food kink development. Regret)

no let me say it again: sexual awakening through ox ribs what even is his life

angel insinuates being the only demon in existence who tries to go his own way seems lonely -> needs to get wasted immediately

literally so hungover the next day he can barely stand and THIS is the moment he witnesses former Mum talking to a human, probably for the first time since Eden. actually stop here, try to step into his shoes and watch the arrow on a scale for secondhand embarrassment doing a full 360°

magical obstetrics time (he still doesn't know where babies come from)

and to top it off: the devastating vision of Aziraphale almost crying

to conclude, pour one out for Bildad the poor bastard deserves it.

[aurlworthfightingfor]

Aziraphale haters: why isn’t every single thought or action done to further Crowley’s story or make Crowley happy???? How dare he be his own damn person

Crowley’s reaction to this bullshit:

I don’t get it. If you love Crowley? Then by default you should also love Aziraphale. If you hate Aziraphale, then you truly don’t understand Crowley. Period.

[dee-morris]

Have We Ever Considered

That Aziraphale might actually accomplish what he's going up there to do?

I don't think I've seen hardly anyone suggest this, outside of fan art and crack fics. People who criticize Aziraphale say He's traumatized, he's brainwashed, he's selfish, pick your poison, and people who defend him say He had no choice, the Metatron was threatening him, he was doing what he thought he had to.

But not many people have brought up the very real possibility that he's really going to take over and actually change things and turn Heaven upside down. Rules lawyer sneaking around perhaps, but no what if He actually becomes the Supreme Archangel? I don't mean a butched-up bearded version of himself, I mean "Right, this is what we're going to do first." And then he FUCKING DOES IT.

In the GO universe, belief makes things real. If Aziraphale thinks he can turn heaven into the best version of itself, he can.

(ETA: Just like nobody mentions that when Metatron called him a natural leader, we all assume he was blowing smoke up his ass, but um. He actually is. He doesn't love doing it, but he took CHARGE of those demons and angel in his shop five minutes ago ijs)