#like this is about neil but it’s also not

[aquared46]

Happy ao3 downtime. Have a little andreil fic. As a treat.

It was only because Neil recognized the cadence of the footsteps downstairs that his pounding heart calmed. He untangled his legs from the blankets, but didn’t rise from the bed. He listened as Andrew locked the front door, the pounding in his head and the sickness swirling in his stomach indicating he only managed about an hour of sleep. Vague images clung to the backs of Neil’s eyelids, a nightmare that slipped from his waking mind. Something Andrew had saved him from before he was even in the room.

Andrew wasn’t supposed to be back in South Carolina for another two weeks, obligated to spend time training with his team between games. Neil himself should’ve been on campus, ready for practice in the morning. Instead, Coach took one look at him yesterday afternoon and sent him away with orders to get some sleep. To give his vice captain a chance to practice for the real thing once Neil graduated in a few short months.

Neil couldn’t get any sleep at the dorms, but his and Andrew’s bed in Columbia called to him. Neil made the trip and collapsed into it, his mind wandering to the countless firsts they shared there rather than the onslaught of memories March brought.

Neil had survived three Marches since the riot, since his father’s people had delivered him to the basement in Baltimore. His fourth March should’ve been no different.

Except there was one thing Neil hadn’t accounted for: Andrew wasn’t there.

Neil was in his final year, Andrew was playing on a professional team states away, and Neil had never realized exactly how much he leaned on him in times like this. How the shared cigarettes steadied his hands, how Andrew’s palm on the back of his neck halted the crawling beneath his skin.

Objectively, he knew Andrew helped, but it was also something Neil should’ve been able to do on his own. It wasn’t something he wanted to burden Andrew with, something that pulled him away from his responsibilities because Neil couldn’t manage to get through just a few fucking days without nearly falling apart.

And now Andrew was standing in the doorway of their bedroom in Columbia, the light from the hall flooding into the room and illuminating Neil in all his disgrace. The sweaty skin, the greasy hair, the circles under his eyes, the t-shirt Neil had bundled under his head.

Neil had found it wedged between the nightstand and the bedframe, undoubtedly tossed aside carelessly on a good day that involved lots of kissing and touching. It smelled a bit like old sweat, but Andrew’s scent also clung to it, and Neil was far beyond denying himself such a simple comfort.

Andrew kicked the bedroom door closed, and Neil listened to his footsteps as he approached in the dark. There was a click as Andrew tugged the chain of the small lamp on the nightstand. Andrew always hated how bright the overhead light was.

Andrew gestured to Neil’s entirety. “This is not fine.” He snagged the shirt from under Neil’s head, wrinkling his nose before tossing it aside.

Andrew had called him just two days earlier. They’d talked as they always did, exchanging stories and sometimes just sitting in silence, knowing the other was there and listening. Except this time Andrew had explicitly asked how Neil was holding up, and Neil had said he was fine.

“I meant what I said.” Neil mourned the loss of the shirt, but tucked his face closer to the pillow, where some of the smell had transferred.

Andrew’s jaw tensed. “I thought you weren’t going to lie to me anymore.”

“I’m not.”

“Then you’re lying to yourself.” Something settled in Andrew’s gaze as he examined Neil, the tension in his shoulders easing. “And you’re an idiot if you think I’d make you bear this on your own.”

Andrew emptied his pockets on the nightstand, and Neil felt something loosen in him as well. As Andrew peeled off his jeans, Neil scooched over to make enough room on the bed.

“There were no games scheduled, so I got cleared for this time off weeks ago,” Andrew said as he slipped under the covers.

The relief Neil felt from his proximity didn’t lessen the weight of his glare. “And you’re telling me this now?”

“You should’ve known I’d be here for your yearly mental breakdown. At least you keep a consistent schedule. I was curious whether you’d be honest with me, but now I have to ask: Was it a lack of self-awareness or sheer bullheaded stubbornness that kept you from telling the truth?” Andrew was close enough Neil could feel the warmth radiating off him. “I didn’t believe you then, and your current appearance only validates that assessment. If I asked again what would your answer be now?”

Neil ignored his first impulse, which was to say he was fine. Not only was it the answer Andrew didn’t want, but it certainly wasn’t true. Frustratingly, everything Andrew said was right. The way Andrew could peel back his layers and see what was underneath used to be unsettling, but nowadays Neil found it reassuring. Even if it pissed him off. Even if Andrew told him things he didn’t want to hear.

“That I can’t sleep,” Neil said through gritted teeth. “That he’s the only thing I see when I close my eyes, and that I wish you were here.”

“That’s better,” Andrew said. “Certainly more believable.”

Andrew reached for Neil, settling his arm over his waist and tugging him closer. Neil sagged into the contact, shuddering with relief as he tucked his head under Andrew’s.

Neil breathed him in. “I should be able to bear this on my own.”

“You don’t have to. I’d rather be here when you don’t need me than be away when you do.” Andrew tightened his arm, tangling Neil’s legs with his.

Neil had been holding himself together by threads for the past few days. In Andrew’s arms, he was safe enough to let himself fall apart. His chest was tight, and he gradually lost the steady breaths he forcibly maintained.

Andrew held him through it, his fingers tapping an irregular rhythm on Neil’s spine. It was something Neil could focus on, something he could latch onto to draw himself back into his own body. Exhaustion crashed into him as soon as he did, but not before he made Andrew a promise.

“I’ll do better next time.”

“I know.”

[borgialucrezia]

we really don't talk enough about how cesare (who proclaims himself to be honorable) actually has an extreme level of self-absorption and narcissism. they jump out on different situations especially in his vindictive sexual harassment of the women he slept with for wounding his ego. like his abuse of ursula (who was deceived by his chivalrous façade) for leaving him and taking a will of her own vs. his aggressive grabbing of caterina's breast when she taunted him at his sister's wedding (shows that he's still bitter over her rejecting him at forli).

[dykekarkat]

tired of the "how did neil survive 8 years on the run take he has no survival instincts" take when he literally ends the first chapter of tfc hunched over in a bathroom stall hysterically apologizing to his dead mother not Just because he is breaking her rules but because he feels that he is spitting on her grave. mary gave her life so that neil could run farther and live longer and neil signed the contract anyway despite thinking it was a death sentence. and thats just the first chapter!!

he literally apologizes to mary Again when saying "one of us has to make it" about kevin. like he doesn't have survival instincts during the series because he literally gave up on survival in chapter one 😭 this is also why he acts out so often with riko its because he doesn't care about the consequences to himself since he's already a dead man walking, it's also why he gets genuinely confused over seth's death and the destruction of the cars because while he accepts the consequences he also has never dealt with his actions having consequences for anyone but himself...

[michanvalentine]

Some of my favorite lines—among the saddest—that Astarion has ever said. Every time I hear them, delivered so perfectly by Neil, my heart aches. I'm sharing them with you because my husband can't take hearing me talk about Astarion and Baldur's Gate anymore!

"It’s what you want, isn’t it? To lose yourself in me." There’s an entire world behind this line: the expression on his face, the tone of his voice. There’s sadness and resignation. This is how things work—this is who he is. The person in front of him is no different from the others, just another one who wants to lose themselves in him, use him for their own pleasure, and then move on as if nothing happened. Not only that, but it's also the same old charade used to deliver unsuspecting victims to the slaughter. The same old script, one he’s tired of, one that causes him pain. His eyes grow sad as he says it, his shoulders sink, his lips curve downward, and everything about him exudes bitterness. In that moment, amidst sweet words and sensual movements, the real Astarion comes out, carrying all the heavy baggage he’s been burdened with.

"Maybe, but did he take it." Cazador is dead, Astarion won, he’s alive, and he’s free. But the death of his tormentor didn’t turn back time, the death of the monster didn’t undo the damage or return what was stolen. It’s a powerful, terrifying, and painful realization, especially when you think about how these things—these parts of Astarion—were taken and erased. Because what is gone wasn’t just lost—it was replaced with suffering, shame, anger, hatred, and horrific experiences. These are memories that will stay with him for the rest of his un-life, memories he’ll have to battle every single day.

"All right, I’ll do it." The way he says it, after Tav/Durge delves into his mind and uses his greatest fear against him, is utterly heartbreaking. Once again, there’s resignation, but there’s also fear and, worst of all, a hint of submission. In that moment, Tav/Durge is the embodiment of Cazador. They bring back his most horrifying experience, fill him with pure terror, and remind him of how useless, weak, and pathetic he is—unable to defend himself. It makes him feel small again, lost, and willing to do anything just to feel safe. And this is coming from the very person who, up until that moment (unless the player is a complete sociopath xP), had been helping him regain a shred of self-worth and independence. It’s truly a low blow, a betrayal—especially because Astarion depends on Tav/Durge, much like he depended on Cazador, but in a positive way instead of a negative one. They force him, against his will, to do something he doesn’t want to do, and with that statement, Astarion seems to be saying, “Yes, master.”

"I didn’t know how to say no." This one is heartbreaking too, it hits right in the heart. It really hurts, especially in context, but also in general. Saying "no" is a fundamental right of every free individual. But Astarion doesn’t say that he can’t say no—he says he doesn’t know how to say it. And that’s truly sad, because at this point, it’s no longer just an external imposition; it’s something internalized. And of course, it goes without saying that here too, Tav/Durge took advantage of Astarion—of his inability to defend himself, to immediately recognize and stop behavior that should be shut down at the first sign because it’s harmful to him. Once again, Tav/Durge betrays him in the worst way, right after an agonizing confession, no less—Astarion opens up and admits to having very real struggles with sex.

Do you have any favorite lines too? Obviously, there are a billion more funny ones, but I’m afraid I’d need an entire day to write down all my favorites. I just love this little shit too much. xD

[warrioreowynofrohan]

The earliest structures on [Iceland, settled from Scandanavia in the early middle ages] were built of local timber, but thereafter it had to be imported. Some of the wealthiest settlers even brought their homes with them, as portable ‘kit’ structures that could be disassembled into their component parts in only two or three days by a team of workers. In prefabricated form, they were transportated to Iceland from Norway, and later also onwards to Greenland. This partly explains why the basic size of the structures is broadly consistent across the North Atlantic colonies.

Ikea. You’re telling me that Scandanavia had Ikea houses A MILLENNIUM AGO.

Now that’s a business with deep cultural roots. 😂

Another really interesting bit:

It is important to understand that the dramatic and barren landscape that attracts tourists [to Iceland] today was not at all what the Vikings found: it was what they created. When the Norse arrived, Iceland was heavily forested, but the trees were quickly cut for building materials – an entire society needing to construct places to live and work – while the scrub cover was exhausted for use as fuel. Within a generation of the first landfall, the nature of the place had changed irrevocably…with the trees gone, driftwood became a vital resource.

Dang. There are theories that the Mayan empire collapsed due to ecological exploitation, but today their cities are covered in jungle and look like hills. Iceland was transformed in a few generations and a thousand years later it’s still like that. (Granted, much easier to do that to an island, and in the Arctic circle.) Why don’t we talk more about Iceland, where we know what happened, instead of Easter Island, where we only have theories?

And on another note, Icelanders are probably the most ecologically-conscious society in Europe these days. Could this have a relationship to why? They know from their history how much it matters.

(From Children of Ash and Elm by Neil Price)

[nectarinesinthesun444]

dead poets society opinions

I can't romantically ship a ship with no basis in canon, like knarlie, chrisginny, chameron etc it just doesn't feel right I need to have a reason to defend them and ship them. I don't really get shipping if there's no romance between the characters, chameron kind of feels like a crack ship to me

I hate book knox and movie knox the same way and I feel like his whole character arc is based on the fact he loves chris and it gets annoying, and he's disgusting to her anyway

cameron deserves a redemption arc not knox

the book is worth it

tom schullman and peter weir were gross for putting in the scene where keating shows the students nude pictures in class while they're doing a test (it's a deleted scene which is in the book and they also filmed it but it never even made it onto youtube)

the film should have been three hours instead of two (I will make a post about this one in a little bit)

if it wasn't for dead poets in nyc and gale hansen's twitter then this fandom would struggle to be active and together

I think in 2025 we are gonna see bobby and the rest of the cast or atleast some of the other cast reunite (I don't know how, it would probably be a picture on one of their instagram accounts or a zoom call that gets onto youtube)

the cast and crew made anderperry as canon as you can make it without a kissing or confession scene. In the way that one would not at all be surprised if in the middle of the film there was a kissing scene, because their whole friendship reads like a friends to lovers kind of thing and you can't tell me that if neil didn't die they wouldn't have started dating

I fuck with slow burn anderperry fics and I hate it when they kiss too soon because it's just unrealistic

I don't like it when a dps fic is too historically inaccurate, for example making it out like everyone is super accepting and not bigoted, because when I am reading a dps fic I am in 1959 and I don't want to feel like I'm in 2025

charlie is not the funny one he is highly complex and I love him

[internet-kid-kenna]

idk if this will make sense to anyone else but in my head andrew minyard is so pretty that he's the guy version of sabrina carpenter, like aesthetically at least, obviously not personality lmaooo

but like also any time i picture andrew minyard as a woman its sabrina carpenter

basically, she's just like one of the most beautiful women i have ever seen and i feel like andrew minyard is equally as hot.

and while i'm thinking about aftg characters as female pop stars, Neil is Chappell (red head and sassy and everyone loves it), Kevin is Charli and Jean is Billie.

really Jeremy is probably the male version of Sabrina in aesthetics AND personality. And in this case Andrew is Kesha.

nicky is olivia rodrigo

[tgmsunmontue]

White Hot - 4/? - Hangster

A TGM AU - Blacksmith + Metal-artist Jake and History Teacher Bradley.

ONE TWO THREE

PART FOUR

                Jake’s never really watched or followed baseball, being more into football when he was at school, and his family also being very much into football. But he’s been to some games before, knows how the rules work. But he wants to know what team Mr Bradshaw supports, because he’ll have a team that he’s ride or die for, Jake knows it. He’ll have to save that for a first date question. And for the season to start before he tries listening to some games while he works. Sue him, he’s hopeful.

…            …            …

                After the initial fascination Bradley is too busy to think about Jake Seresin, mind circling back to the curriculum, new administration processes, learning the kids’ names and schedules for try outs. Continuing to get to know his new colleagues and starting to form a new social group, and hopefully some friends. It’s always harder as an adult and moving to a new city, let alone state. However he’s finally been invited along to a social event that isn’t a staff meeting or parent-teacher conference, and he’s a little nervous.

                Javy, the English teacher who has been the friendliest, has assured him that everyone will be nice, but he’s the only one Bradley will know. While most of the people in the team are also teachers, they work in different schools. However if he gets stuck on topics of conversation there’s always work as a fallback. Plus they have a quiz to win. He enters the bar, and it’s busy for a Wednesday night, but he realizes most people must be here for the quiz night. He sees Javy waving and heads over, relieved.

                “Hi.”

                “Hey man, glad you could make it. This is Rueben, Mickey, Neil and Callie.”

                Bradley files the names away, he’s good with faces and names and information, which he guesses is why Javy invited him along.

                “Welcome to the team man. Javy said you teach history?”

                “Yeah. And geography.”

                “Sweet! Callie teaches Info-Tech and design. Neil is cooking –”

                “Culinary arts!” Neil snaps.

                “Yeah, that. Mickey does math and I teach physics.

                “Wow. We’ve got a really good spread…”

                “Yeah. Because Javy is hypercompetitive against all the other teams…”

                “Ah…” Bradley says with dawning realization. “So I was brought in to increase your chances of winning then…”

                “Of course. You’ve got like… our weak spots covered plus you probably know stuff about baseball.”

                “Baseball?” Rueben asks with interest.

                “He’s our new coach…” Javy offers, nodding his head in Bradley’s direction. “You want a drink man?”

                Bradley nods, says he’ll take whatever is on tap, grins and feels a little more settled, it feels good to be socializing. He makes himself comfortable on a chair around the table, the others are asking about where he went to college and the conversation is flowing easily, and he accepts the beer Javy slides beside him with a quiet thanks. When the conversation suddenly stops he wonders if it’s something he’s said but realizes all eyes are fixed behind him and he turns to look, wonders what they’re all looking at.

                “Natasha…” Javy says, and he sounds amused and Bradley is certain there’s something else going on, something he’s missing.

                “Javy. Who’s the new guy?”

                “Bradley, meet Natasha. She’s the enemy… member of the team we have to beat.”

                Everyone else at the table groans and Bradley is definitely missing something, but he’s pretty sure it’s all in fun, because Javy and Natasha are just grinning at each other, although there’s maybe a little more teeth than strictly necessary.

                “Bradley. And what do you teach Bradley?”

                He wants to ask how she knows he’s a teacher, however he’s sitting at a table with five other teachers so he guesses it doesn’t take a genius.

                “Uh. History.”

                “Wait. You’re the new history teacher…” she says, and her eyes are sweeping over him with renewed interest and Bradley swallows, if he was standing he’d take a step back, suddenly feels like a piece of meat on display.

                “Uh. Yes.”

                “Hmm. I think we spoke on the phone a couple of weeks ago. I work at the historical village.”

                “Oh,” Bradley offers, isn’t what sure what else to say. Javy is looking at Natasha with a raised eyebrow, expression calculating and Natasha is looking at Javy with narrowed eyes and Bradley looks at the others who either look resigned, bored or amused.

                “You’re due to come in next week right? With your class?”

                “Uh, yes. That’s right.”

                “Hmm. I look forward to seeing you there. Javy. Javy’s team.”

                As one the others all lift their drinks to toast her as she walks back to her team and Bradley turns back to face them all.

                “They’re married," Neil offers.

                “What? Who?”

                “Javy and Natasha. But they’ve been on separate quiz teams since before they got together, and losing team has to do the dishes and take the trash out… and that’s where we stop asking questions.”

                “It’s why Javy is so competitive.”

                Bradley lets out a laugh, glad to have an explanation for the weird level of intense energy he’d just had to endure. When Natasha’s team, the Historical Harlots, play their spot prize of steal a point to take first place away from Javy’s team he finds he’s not at all sorry for their loss.

[thealogie]

Hi Thea! Did you see that Scarlett filed a civil lawsuit against Neil Gaiman (https://storage.courtlistener.com/recap/gov.uscourts.wiwd.53958/gov.uscourts.wiwd.53958.2.0.pdf)? I'm honestly a bit confused about why she would go to a civil court in Wisconsin over events that happened in New Zealand. If you don't mind, could you explain why? It's totally fine if not, I just thought you might have an idea as a US lawyer.

I did see! Link to the complaint here. Incredibly brave of Scarlett given how some of these high profile suits have played out. I know her lawyer by reputation and they're known to be a good firm, so I hope she gets some justice.

Your question on Wisconsin...you've really hit on a great first year law school question. People can be sued in any state where they have so much activity and presence that it would be fair for them to get sued there. The logic is: if you take advantage of all the benefits of living in a particular state or running your business from there, it's also fair for you to be sued in that state. In this case, Gaiman can clearly be sued in New York, where he lives full time. But Scarlett's lawyers are saying that neil gaiman owns property in Wisconsin so he can be sued there and that Palmer's residence is unclear so they're suing in Wisconsin for now.

This is kind of flimsy and I'm puzzled by this choice of theirs. My best guess is that they either found a judge they really wanted or maybe Wisconsin law is better than New York law on negligence/battery (just a guess..I don't know Wisconsin negligence/battery law...) or they think a Wisconsin jury will be better for them than a New York one (I don't think that's true...). You better bet the first thing Gaiman's lawyers will do is say the exact same thing you did: Wisconsin has nothing to do with these claims and this case should be dismissed. Most likely outcome: the case will be transferred to New York.

[j-esbian]

you know the whole ‘there are no ethical billionaires because to get to that point is dependent on the exploitation of others”

starting to feel like that’s also the case for anyone who achieves a meaningful level of fame.

this is illustrated on a small-scale level by the seemingly endless number of youtubers who appear on my radar only when they are caught in some scandal. it’s not necessarily that youtubers are a uniquely terrible breed; all industries dependent on fame are highly competitive and people willingly step on each other to get ahead. and once you’ve gotten away with that, you feel like you’re untouchable. the rules for other people don’t apply to you because you’ve already proven yourself Better than others, in whatever way that means to you, and maybe you start pushing other boundaries to see what else you can get away with.

talent does not always translate to fame. but, especially in arts industries where it’s nearly impossible to make a living wage without being famous, it seems that way. it’s almost impossible to carve out space to build skill on top of raw talent when you have to work a full time day job, so of course the people who have achieved fame will be able to dedicate more time to their craft. if you’re born without talent, i hope you were at least born rich.

but the guy you’ve heard of isn’t inherently more talented or better at what he does than an indie creator. fame is a combination of merit and marketing

[arttsuka]

People need to stop blaming 'parasocial relationships' when it's revealed to the public that a famous person has done something controversial (or even a crime) and the public is upset. 'I can't believe xxx did that!' doesn't always mean that the person who said it has a parasocial relationship with xxx. Usually it's just our faith in humanity, we want to believe that everyone has some basic human decency (especially someone we might admire) and it's only natural to be disappointed when we learn they're a bad person.

[dykekarkat]

HI um. can i ask about your httyd aftg au?

omg yes ofc!!! this is one of my fave aus rn i love httyd so much :) here's the first post i made about this au for reference i have maybe two chaps written but i want to get solidly into it before i post anything on ao3 cause im planning for this to be a longer fic!!

just some basics before i get into it neil = hiccup, andrew = astrid, kevin = toothless, nathan = stoic (i love stoic and i do believe he loves hiccup and is trying his best however im having a lot of fun making nathan the evil chief/father)

OKAYYYY this au is actually so fun to write for i love dragons and i love being able to fuck around with the traditional aftg character dynamics :) the fic largely follows httyd 1's plot not aftg's. the most fun to write so far has been neil and kevin's dynamic. ive decided the dragons use dragonese here and neil is fluent in it like hiccup from the books. neil's fluency comes from mary pre-death (wink) and pure spite for his father. while nathan has whipped berk into a dragon killing frenzy and never ending war, neil is going behind his back (at major risk to himself) to try and foil his plans.

neil does still hit kevin and injure his tail but it's a lesser of two evils situation, where lola was aiming at the same time and she would've for sure killed kevin. neil immediately is running off to try and find the night fury and get it the fuck outta berk before his father can kill it. this leads to kevin and neil are fighting like cats and dogs in the beginning but there's this consistent underlayer of "why havent you killed me yet??". kevin is also frantic to get back to the Nest and due to the fact they can communicate they end up making a deal where neil will try and make a mechanism for kevin to fly again and kevin will give him info on dragons. the first time they fly together its like Oh. I Get It Now. Besties for Life.

while this is happening dragon training is basically a punishment for neil Not a privilege. all of the teens/young adults are forced into dragon training so that they'll continue popping out soldiers for war with a few exceptions (aaron training to be a healer, neil originally training to be a blacksmith but is forced into it). for the longest time neil forcibly distanced himself from his peers (the foxes) because he was terrified of nathan using them against him or hurting them because he made friends. the fact he's nathan's son is also offputting to a lot of ppl (its not quite as us vs them as the upperclassmen and the monsters but its similar). so we're emphasizing the neil weird loner who seems desperate for connection but every time ur nice to him he flat out runs away dynamic.

neil does his best to stay under the radar during the training sessions which eventually fails miserably (not spoiling this part bcus its one of the first scenes i thought of. its good tho prommy). andrew is basically quietly obsessing over him and trying to figure out what the fuck is going on with him. he sees himself in neil but he also doesn't understand Why. neil of course is fully oblivious to this, until uh oh. neil's pet kevin has been found out. cue andreil truth games :)

anyway this got long and idk if i even said anything of importance or coherence but its one of my fave aus just because its really fun <3

[allfor-thegames]

there's something very funny about wymack recruiting neil and seeing him as this jumpy, cagey asf kid with alarmingly absent parents and then watching him befriend the monsters, speak three languages, start fights with riko moriyama, be incredibly apathetic to violence, join the perfect court and reveal that he uses alcohol as pain reliever because it's too dangerous for him to go to a hospital, unite the team and fall in love with wymack's other problem child, all for him to turn out to be the son of kengo moriyama's right hand man.

[joejhang]

tsc was such a cultural reset bc for so long all we had was neil's (unreliable) narration and some small snippets from the extra content for povs. neil's narrator bias is actually insane and as much as i love him i'm so fucking glad we have jean and jeremy's povs they were so fucking refreshing and not just EXY EXY EXY EXY andrew's eyes andrew's hair EXY EXY EXY EXY EXY EXY homoerotic monologue about kevin day EXY EXY EXY EXY andrew minyard EXY EXY EXY

[corner-collects-rocks]

happy new year to neil josten who didnt sign it. he gave me a contract but i didnt sign it. he couldnt make me. this doesnt mean anything. im still a fox.

[notacluedo]

Jeremy is so brave bc if I saw Jean doing up his gloves with his teeth it would’ve been over for me