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michanvalentine · 7 days ago

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I just finished my run as Astarion. Okay, I admit it—after the first adventure, I used a few mods to speed things up. Lol. I had to! Partly because some of them are really cute and partly because, well, my husband and daughter might’ve left me otherwise.

In any case, I managed to pursue a romantic relationship with Shadowheart, just as I had planned in my first playthrough... at least before the vampiric rogue got in the way! But in this run, of course, there was no such risk.

Astarion: Hold on, I need to finish the last chapter. I need to know if Stephanie ends up with George. The cursed lands can wait, Halsin will understand.

But enough chit-chat—here are my impressions in short! Playing as Astarion gave me the chance to notice additional details and delve deeper into aspects of his characterization. First of all, even from the earliest interactions, his fear of suddenly having to rely on and interact with others unaware of his vampiric nature is immediately apparent. The revelation doesn’t happen through the infamous bite scene but rather through a genuine act of trust, where Astarion himself chooses to confess. Even before this, though, the game allows you, through dialogue options, to weigh the matter—to consider whether to tell this or that companion, who, depending on approval (or personal inclinations), may seem more or less willing to accept cohabitation with a bloodsucker.

Gale is one of the most understanding about it, as well as one of the most curious! <3

Let’s just say, if it wasn’t already clear, playing as the vampire makes the issue even more obvious: vampires are seen as monsters, feared and despised by default, and they can’t easily build relationships with others. Being a vampire is, in itself, an almost insurmountable obstacle to reclaiming one’s humanity and being recognized as a person with rights.

This becomes even more evident in the encounter with Gandrel. Astarion remembers what he did—he recalls being at the Gur camp and abducting their children. Among the various dialogue options, there’s one that attempts to highlight the fact that vampire spawn cannot disobey their master's orders and are, in essence, acting against their will. And we know all too well that Astarion is a victim himself, caught in a cruel trap.

Gandrel’s response is chilling, to say the least: monsters are monsters. Period. There’s no salvation for Astarion, no hope, no understanding. Who cares if your master treats you like garbage? Who cares if you literally have no free will? Who cares if you’re sold, raped, tortured for days? You’re a monster, and you deserve to die.

I've always found Gandrel to be a likable character—I enjoyed his willingness to play along with the stereotypes about the Gur and his honest attempt to warn me about the dangers. Plus, let’s not forget he’s a father grieving for his kidnapped children. But I swear, in that moment, my blood boiled!

Another thing that becomes much clearer—and really underscores the absurdity of the situation—is the sheer magnitude of what Astarion is thrown into when you play as him. Imagine it: a vampire spawn who, out of nowhere in his miserable existence, finds himself suddenly free, with a tadpole stuck in his head, a group of companions relying on him to solve their problems, and the salvation of the world resting on his shoulders.

Dream Guardian: You see, Astarion, as far as the eye can see, this mess is yours now. Do something, don't die horribly, try not to get caught by your master, and while you're at it, save the world.

It’s a stark contrast and an overwhelming amount to process. For Astarion, it must be a downright Herculean task, especially considering he hasn’t even begun to resolve his old, massive issues and now has a mountain of new ones dumped on him. This is the same Astarion who, after 200 years under Cazador, probably doesn’t even remember where his own ass is anymore. If it were me, I’d be cursing every god in existence! Who knows, maybe then they’d finally bother to answer my prayers.

The absence of Tav is definitely felt. Astarion needs Tav, he needs a guiding figure. He’s better suited as a follower than a leader, though I have to admit, playing as the vampire spawn protagonist makes the whole journey feel even more epic.

The lack of Tav is especially noticeable during Astarion’s personal quest. In my opinion, it’s incredibly sad to watch him try to face his trauma and problems alone. He’s been isolated for 200 years, and it’s so much more impactful to see him open up to someone who’s there for him, rather than struggle in silence, tracing the scars on his back all by himself.

The scene goes like this: during the night, pain overtakes him. He can’t sleep, tossing and turning on his bedroll. The scars ache, and if he focuses enough on his own terrible experience, Astarion can vividly recall the exact path Cazador’s blade carved into his flesh. Naturally, you need to pass a skill check to gather the right insights, but the essence remains: he suffers alone, in silence. As always. And it broke my heart.

He seems so small, forgotten, and defenseless, licking his wounds and facing his most horrific memories on his own.

As the main character, Astarion has few opportunities to talk about the past and Cazador with others, and especially only in a general way. The details remain private, surfacing only during specific moments. One such instance is the encounter with the drow twins, where Astarion can tell the sex workers that he once found himself in their position. The drow asks how it was, and Astarion has several dialogue options that, no matter what you choose, convey just how harrowing and non-consensual that experience was for him.

Another scene in the brothel that pleasantly surprised me was the one with the nymph. When she uses her power on Astarion, after being saved from the mindflayer, she asks him what he wants to be. The dialogue options are rich, powerful, respected, etc. But the specific one for Astarion's character is: "safe." It brought tears to my eyes. It's in moments like these that his motivations become even more apparent, and for him, the power he craves is nothing but the only way to feel safe.

Instead I was deeply disappointed with the interaction with Araj, the blood merchant. As the main character, Astarion has nothing significant to say about her or her request to be bitten by a vampire. The dialogue options are pretty neutral—you can either bite her or refuse—with no real acknowledgment of how deeply personal and repugnant the situation should be for him. It felt like a missed opportunity to explore his trauma and agency further.

On the other hand, Astarion dreams of Cazador, and through the vivid voice of the vampire lord, we are made privy to the general rules that his spawn must follow: never drink the blood of sentient beings, never disobey, never stray, and never forget that they belong to him. During this nightmarish confrontation, several dialogue options are available, reflecting the full spectrum of Astarion’s possible reactions: he can cower, fight back, or plead for forgiveness. Regardless of the choice, Cazador will belittle him, scare him, and humiliate him. Their dynamic is crystal clear, and the scene always ends the same way: Astarion bows his head in submission.

As if that weren’t enough, he wakes up in a panic, terror gripping him, with one harrowing realization: he’s late, and if he doesn’t return to Cazador soon, he’ll be whipped.

This also provides additional context for the infamous bite scene. While a vampire’s hunger—especially that of an underfed one—is a powerful motivator, there’s more to it. Astarion’s decision to break the rule and take the risk is driven by a desire to test his limits, to prove to himself that he’s no longer a slave. Naturally, as Astarion, players are presented with a choice: bite one of their companions or resist and go hunting in the forest instead.

In this regard, the unique choices Astarion has in situations tied closely to his personal story always offer a wide range of possibilities. There are options that could be considered outright evil, but also others that reveal his desire for redemption. Another proof that his character cannot be considered solely evil. I think this perfectly reflects his real nature, constantly teetering between good and evil, right and wrong, humanity and vampirism.

I particularly enjoyed the confrontations with Petras and Dalyria, as well as with Aurelia and Leon. These interactions feel more nuanced compared to when Tav is present. The rivalry and love/hate dynamic among them becomes more evident, and Dalyria’s trust in Astarion is surprisingly deeper than one might expect after a standard playthrough.

Beyond the dialogue options concerning the deception against the other spawn needed to secure Astarion’s ascension, there are other options that reveal his genuine desire for redemption. He seeks to kill Cazador not just for his own freedom but to save his siblings as well, to be a better brother, as himself says in one of the options. This intention is evident even before encountering the unfortunate victims in the Szarr palace dungeons.

These interactions add layers to Astarion’s character, highlighting the complexity of his struggle. They show a man caught between his dark instincts and a burgeoning sense of responsibility and morality, making his personal arc all the more compelling.

Naturally, the same applies when confronting his victims. Astarion can choose from a range of lines that span from the more villainous to the more heroic, effectively showcasing both sides of his character. The outcome always depends on how the player prefers to approach their playthrough.

One thing that absolutely delighted me was the confrontation with Cazador. When the vampire lord tries to assert control over Astarion, you can make a dice roll to resist him. Watching Cazador's frustration is priceless. Additionally, once defeated, you can force him—again through a dice roll—to beg for his life. In my case, I made him grovel… only to kill him anyway. I know, I’m a terrible person, but he totally deserved it! xP

Astarion: Well, now that I know Stephanie and George have broken up, I can go kill that damned Netherese brain.

Of course, mine was another heroic playthrough. Well, not exactly heroic, but good. We're still talking about Astarion, so whenever I saw his name pop up, I automatically selected his personal dialogue option. So let's say it was a "conservative" run, I did what I had to do but without overdoing it, maintaining a pretty neutral profile.

So, the ending was the classic one, with Astarion enjoying the darkness and his existence as a vampire, free from Cazador's influence. Then, he's like the dark avenger, Batman-style, feeding on criminals. For the right price, of course. xD

From a romantic perspective, I finally managed to win Shadowheart over, and I think her romance, along with Astarion's, is one of the sweetest. She also offers the right challenge in being won over and understood, considering her "dual identity" and the influence that Shar and Viconia had on her. I enjoyed seeing her transform from the sulking cleric full of secrets to the sweet, fragile girl beneath the armor. Of course, since this was my second playthrough, the element of surprise was a bit lacking, especially regarding the conclusion of her quest.

Then things took some strange turns... let’s say I decided to take a few more risks this time and experiment with different things compared to my first run. xD And I discovered that I also love Halsin and Astarion together! The druid's proposal surprised me, and honestly, I didn’t expect Shadowheart to so calmly accept sharing her beau. Good for me! Although the content with Halsin is really limited; I wonder if that’s because he was my second boyfriend?

Then, this time, I also accepted the squid's proposal... yep. xD Let’s just say I had some fun.

Right now, I'm playing my first (and I think only) evil playthrough. I feel guilty every time I do something bad. And Ascendant Astarion was a cold shower for me! But maybe I'll vent about it once I have all the elements, for now I'd say I've rambled on enough. Anyone who's made it this far is a hero!

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