#like for some reason that feels really meaningful

[imadhatt3r]

There's a sort of small personal story arc happening in Koujaku's route that I haven't seen talked about much, and it is one relating to Aoba's struggles with his masculinity and his perception as a man by others.

This story arc heavily deals with cultural gender norms and expectations, and so I will be working with them; This doesn't reflect my personal view on gender roles and expectations in real life. This is also not for or against any headcanons regarding any character's gender- I have no opinions on them or problems with people seeing any character as trans.

Okay, without further ado:

The moment where Koujaku and Aoba canonically meet for the first time happens during their childhood. Aoba was bullied by other children for his long hair and for "looking like a girl". Koujaku stepped in to protect him, thinking that Aoba's a girl, and was allegedly suprised when Aoba turned out to be a boy, but his attitude towards Aoba never changed.

This event clearly had a big influence on Aoba, on how he views himself, Koujaku, and how he thinks Koujaku views him. When we first meet Koujaku in-game, he is seen defending himself from a woman's overly protective boyfriend and being a charmer to her in turn when she apologizes for his behavior. It's established that Koujaku has a lot of female admirers, and a bit later it's revealed that he attracts a lot of men too, but moreso as a kind of role model/aspirational figure- that's why benishigure exists in the first place.

Aoba is shown to be annoyed or downright kinda scared of Koujaku's fans; Of course, it makes sense- Aoba is shown to be a private person that dislikes attention, but I believe that there is a second layer to all that- jealousy.

Aoba identifies as a man in-game and asserts it multiple times. He is aware of his gender. Koujaku is shown to be both flirty and chivalrous towards women around him- he spends time with them, initiates physical contact, compliments them etc. Aoba is always annoyed whenever he sees Koujaku doing that, but his reasons aren't fully clear- it seems like he feels like Koujaku's behavior is, in some way, fake, or that he just dislikes PDA in general. Aoba isn't jealous of the female attention Koujaku gets- he doesn't want to be in his place, because, as we established, he doesn't like being the center of attention. This isn't a dick measuring contest with Aoba being salty that he's coming up short.

Aoba is jealous of the women. He's the one who wants Koujaku to flirt with him, touch him, be chivalrous to him, protect him, but he believes that it will never happen, because Koujaku only acts this way towards women. Men want to be him, women want to be with him, but Aoba is neither; He's not a man who wants to be him, nor is he a woman who wants to be with him- there's not a place he can comfortably occupy, in his mind.

Mind you, I don't believe that he is aware of his feelings- hence his clusterfuck of an attempt to make Koujaku's flirting with women a bad thing. It's not coherent, it doesn't really make any internal sense, because Aoba has no idea he's even trying to lead himself away from something.

In the good ending, Koujaku briefly mentions that he thinks Aoba sleeps in so much because he wants to get his attention, and I can 100% see it as being true- Aoba doesn't know how to get Koujaku to treat him like he does women around him, so he chooses more covert ways to get that desired attention and care.

I also see Aoba's haircut to be symbolic/meaningful of his relation to his masculinity being percieved by others. Aoba's hair was the reason why he and Koujaku met as kids and established their friendship and later relationship. When they were cut, Aoba started to look more conventionally "masculine", and yet the haircut is also, in a way, representative of the beginning of his and Koujaku's relationship. It's because Koujaku doesn't care that Aoba is a man- hell, in the CD drama, he even admits that he's straight up attracted to Aoba's masculinity. If Koujaku liked Aoba BECAUSE he saw him as female-like, wouldn't he want to keep his hair long/feminine?

This is kinda explored in various extra material like the summer side story and valentine's day story- Aoba seems to believe that while Koujaku is with him out of love/attraction, he's being treated more as a novelty, a "girl-boy" that's going to be replaced by an "actual woman" one day. He's afraid that the chocolates he made for Koujaku for valentine's day will be seen as "gross", and he expects to see a mountain of chocolate given to Koujaku by women when he comes to his apartment. In the summer story, he expects Koujaku to deny their relationship when they're being harassed by drunk benishigure, and that he will be left behind when Koujaku is approached by female admirers. This never happens- Koujaku actually reassures Aoba that he's never going anywhere, and that Aoba has nothing to worry about. This is framed as Aoba being simply jealous, but I think that there is enough evidence to imply that his gender has a lot to do with it. We don’t know how would he react if Koujaku was approached by a man, but it's mentioned multiple times that it's seeing and thinking of Koujaku being surrounded by women gets Aoba down especially hard.

I feel like it's also important to look into the bad ending for Koujaku's route too, because if you look at it through that lense, you can see some interesting stuff. First and foremost, Shiroba is dressed in a sexualized version of the miko garb (miko are shinto shrine maidens, and they are exclusively women) that includes stockings, and his hair is just as long, if not longer, than Aoba's. He also has red tassels in his hair, right behind his ears, which sort of look like earrings. In short, it would almost appear like Shiroba is trying to look more "feminine" in order to appeal more to the way he percieved Koujaku's tastes- after all, Shiroba/Desire is all of Aoba's impulses, thoughts, and desires taken to the extreme. Aoba thought that Koujaku likes women and femininity, so Shiroba WILL make himself look as feminine as he can to make Koujaku like him more.

There's also the fact that, compared to their good end sex scene, Shiroba is much more... Placid. In the good end, Aoba speaks, he laughs, he laughs AT Koujaku, he tries to turn his head away but agrees to look at Koujaku in the end; He is an active participant who is willing to laugh at his partner (in a way) and make demands. In contrast, Shiroba mostly goes with what Koujaku wants to do; He participates to a degree, sure, but he allows Koujaku to bite him, lick his blood, and fuck him pretty violently without any sort of resistance. This might be a stretch, but it can be seen as Shiroba trying to play a more "feminine" role- which means being passive, allowing your (male) partner to do whatever he wants to do with you (even when it's painful or uncomfortable), and let him essentially use you as a receptacle of his emotions and bodily fluids.

This is a very narrow understand of conventional gender roles, but given that Shiroba is a being of extremes, it makes sense for him to see his own gender and dynamic with Koujaku as that simple and two-dimensional. This whole ending is all about misunderstood intentions/desires, so Shiroba is doing all he can to embody the most extreme conventional femininity in an attempt to appeal to Koujaku, while not having a clue that Koujaku was actually attracted to Aoba's masculinity.

The funniest part of it all is that Koujaku is actually a pretty feminine man himself; His very design blends masculine and feminine elements, which @asarigg points it out in her excellent essay on Koujaku, (among plenty other things), and the way he acts mixes masculinity and femininity too. However, Aoba either doesn't see it, or he treats Koujaku as a "special case"; It's probably the most clear in the scene in the CD drama where Aoba says that hairpins "usually" look bad on men (after Koujaku asked him if he'd like to wear one), but that Koujaku makes it work. The whole plotline/emotional core of this route centers on Aoba relying on his simplified image of Koujaku when it comes to how he thinks about him, only to be proven dead wrong and forced to confront how multi-layered of a person Koujaku is- to reject the image he made of him in his head as a child and make a new, more nuanced one as an adult.

When Aoba was a kid, he saw Koujaku as his hero, someone who protected him, watched over him; He was kind of his masculine ideal, someone he wanted to be when he'll be older. Now that they're adults, Aoba still sees Koujaku as someone hyper-masculine, whose feminine traits and behaviors are glossed over because Koujaku is "allowed to" be feminine a bit. The sad thing is that a lot of Koujaku's masculinity is kind of a ruse that was taken on as a defense mechanic, learned back when Koujaku was living in an abusive household, when he was a victim of abuse, saw abuse inflicted onto his mother, and was possibly forced to perform violence to some degree as means of "education" (things like learning to fight hand-to-hand or swordfighting).

Koujaku can fight because he tried to fight his abusive father and was trained to kill in the future, once he takes over the criminal empire. He flirts with women to fill the void he feels due to his rock bottom self-esteem and because he doesn't want to see women sad or mistreated after what he saw his mother go through. Koujaku's persona is carefully build and maintained, because all masculinity (or gender in general) is performed- this is what people around him expected him to be, that's what he was taught to be, and so he performs, even if it twists him up inside (we know he bottles up any negative emotions and doesn't share his struggles and trauma with anyone, which is also a part of toxic masculinity). It also seems like he's often out drinking with someone and he's a smoker- that's more of a theory, but people often find brief respite from their stress/unadressed emotions in substances, and while people of all genders do it, there seems to be a bigger social acceptance for men to indulge in order to "deal" with their problems and avoid showing "weakness" for just a bit longer.

The good thing is that Koujaku seems quite comfortable in his femininity. He loves his (stereotypically feminine) job, he remains kind and gentle to those who need it, he respects women around him and treats them well (even if that relationship is far from ideal of course), he's always considerate and caring towards Aoba, etc. It's interesting that despite liking and being attracted to Aoba's masculinity, he encourages him to branch out and seemingly embrace his own femininity more (he tells him he'd look nice in a hairpin, or that he'd love him no matter how he'd look like). I wonder if Koujaku found some kind of respite in his femininity back when he lived in his father's house and was potentially held to strict masculine gender roles enforced through violence.

It feels like one of these things that Aoba needs time to process and accept; In a couple years, he'll be doing deliveries with the most complex braid with flamboyant decorations and the most bitching eyeliner ever performed on Japanese soil.

[hellfridge]

Yeah, the interpretation is never the issue, the reasoning behind it is what matters.

Kinning is always valid, but if you're not ace or disabled and you hc Viktor as ace per default then that's likely to be latent ableism, which you can and should call into question. The desexualization of allo disabled people has been used to dehumanize them and deprive them of agency as autonomous sexual beings, not least as a part of infantalization.

But that doesn't mean you can't use that stereotype effectively while subverting it in other ways which make it nuanced and meaningful.

I really feel like people mostly hate on Linke cuz

He conflated ace with aro (to deny jayvik and inadvertently also skyvik)

He said it as truth/canon instead of presenting it as a personal hc, one of many possible interpretations

(He basically tried to use word of god while being far from the only author of the text, which is a bit rude on top of everything)

He seemingly only said it out loud to invalidate interpretations of Viktor as gay (specifically in a jayvik context)

As far as I know he isn't disabled or acespec? Or gay for that matter, which would make being so against jayvik look a little less funky

That said, I do think some people make his interpretation out to be the issue in and of itself, instead of focusing on why that interpretation is used and justified in ways that might be ableist and/or homophobic.

It's also silly to me that Viktor's sexuality is what he used to invalidate jayvik, when in truth you really don't need to be sexually incompatible to be completely platonic. What would really have convinced me of them being platonic would actually be to mention that they thought of not being platonic and it didn't work for them. Plenty of close friends have a stage where they test the waters and figure out that's not what they want out of this. Treating it as unthinkable is what makes it seem like repression rather than disinterest.

As an asexual disabled person who also ships JayVik, I really don't like it when people shit all over Christian Linke for his asexual Viktor headcanon, but I especially don't like it when they shit on it specifically because, apparently, headcanoning a disabled person as asexual is dehumanizing.

Hello? Fucking hello??? Snapping my fingers in front of some people's damn faces-- hello??????

.

[and-corn]

The dragon comic is so funny and cute!Part 2 with all the joint popping, gave me a good laugh.

You should name the characters, I’d like to know what to call the big guy and the human!

thank you!!! part 2 comes from personal experience of having absolute trash knees and elbows

I hadn't really thought about naming the dragon and knight, mostly because I don't think it's super relevant to the story. Also, choosing names is honestly too stressful for me lol. For now I think they'll remain unnamed

[flagellant]

The more I think about Wildmender the more I grow invested in it. It's a fascinating interpretation of terra nil and solarpunk since so often the genre is fundamentally rooted in settler-colonialist philosophy, and even games which are intended to be the opposite of that--terra nil comes to mind as the obvious one--just end up actually revealing a different side of the factorio problem, because terra nil is an incredible impersonal restoration of ecological systems. Terra Nil acknowledges climate destruction on a global catastrophic scale and it accepts the responsibility to fix that, but it isn't shown as a human act, nor does it really allow itself the realism of just how terrifyingly impossible the task is to try and literally fix the entire world. Its game structure is supposed to be the anti-factorio but its puzzle structures focusing on efficiency and robotic engineering patterns of rewilding end up feeling more like a dialogue than an inversion. It's trying to say that the idea of humanity as fundamentally destructive is wrong while it doesn't actually ever address the human element.

And then there's fucking Wildmender. A game where you are a single human child in a world of endless wasteland and death, where the only other things are ghosts who remember a halcyon era and the hubris that ended it, wraiths which are consumed by their own greed and destruction of the land for their cursed immortality, and a couple god statues. The entire map is just ceaseless grief, filled with the literal dessicated remains of all the biodiversity that came before the countless disasters. And it's a big fucking map.

And then...the game gives you a shovel and a sickle and a mirror that shows the wraiths what twisted reflections they've become.

And the game says, "The entire world is waiting to be better, and the only way to do that is by doing it yourself, long and hard and hopeless as it seems."

I cannot emphasize enough how overwhelming the task you're handed. There is not a single speck of life left in the world. You are given a shovel and a water bottle and just...expected to do something about it. To look at the literal endless wastes and think you can heal it.

This is what Wildmender cherishes that Terra Nil denies: This is an impossible task for you alone. But it has to be done...and you can actually do it. The way you can turn sand into soil and dig irrigation channels is beautiful. Every single scrap of land that you reclaim is something you had to do on purpose. You had to do it yourself. You had to actively choose how to do it.

And the game makes the reward of even just getting a bit more water into the sand feel like victory. Your starting oasis turns from soil into lush and beautiful meadows--sure, technically instantaneously by doing magic on a specific type of plant. But it took me 4-5 hours before I got there. You have to travel so far into the desert to learn how to grow grass again, and then you realize that this endless hostile wasteland is a fraction of the map you're given. And you look at this sudden profusion of meadowy grassland surrounding your spring and despite how sudden it feels you remember how big the world is. You made more progress in a minute than you did in 5 hours and it's not even a speck on the map. How the fuck is this gonna happen?

And the answer is by accepting that it's going to take a long fucking time and a lot of hard work.

That's how it's gonna happen. Get to work.

[giantkillerjack]

Uh-oh! You are like, SOOO awkward!!

You're so awkward that it is occasionally mildly uncomfortable for people!

You're so awkward that sometimes people are confused by you and then there are awkward silences!

You're so awkward ...... that ultimately no one is harmed!!

Oh damn!!! What a vile crime you have committed! What an unforgivable thing it is to make a fellow human briefly confused!

Why, if *I* were ever briefly confused and kind of uncomfortable as a result, I'd be devastated.... by the absolute net zero change in my happiness and health! - From which I might never recover!! Yes indeed! No punishment can ever be enough for you!!

So you better absolutely hate yourself for it.

Better be SO MEAN to yourself about every single missed social cue so you don't forget your horrible crime! Meaner than you'd ever dream of being to someone else for the same thing! This is YOUR responsibility!

You need to show the world that you KNOW you are bad by punishing yourself constantly! After all, think of all the people who BENEFIT from you punishing yourself! - No, really! Think about it! Think about who benefits from your pain.

Think of alllllll the definitely-good people that your definitely-necessary self-torment definitely helps! I mean, you can't just cut off their definitely-life-sustaining supply of your suffering, right?? Sure, everyone else has a breaking point, but you're probably the only person in human history who doesn't, right? Best not to question it probably. Sure, it's a symptom that billions of people with trauma have had, but who knows? You could be a one-in-seven-billion exception. Anything's possible!

Instead, better just accept that idea that bullies carry like guns in holsters - the idea that people who have trouble with social cues deserve to suffer. Better carry on the burden they placed on you until you drop. Aid the cause of the callous by enforcing shame and suffering upon yourself extra hard; try your best to do their work for them. They're very busy.

Better not recognize that you need patience and kindness to heal from your trauma. Better not find out that it was trauma rather than personal weakness filling your head with self-hating thoughts. Better not find out it wasn't your fault.

Better not find out that awkwardness is not inherently harmful or unkind, and, in fact, the people who act like it is *are the ones enacting harm and being cruel.*

Better not get righteously angry when you realize just how much unnecessary damage this has done to you. After all, if you get mad, you might realize you deserve better. You might even feel brave enough to DEMAND better! You might build boundaries that keep you safe! You might make other people think they deserve to feel safe too! And we obviously can't be having that, so...

Better not show yourself even a little kindness a little bit at a time.

Better not make a habit out of it after all that practice.

Better not get confident.

Especially if you can't first wipe out every trace of awkward. (And you probably never will. Because people who experience absolute social certainty at all times tend to be insufferable assholes that enforce the status quo. And you just don't have the stock portfolio for that.)

Better not be confident and awkward because then you might confuse and delight people

- you might accidentally end up making other people feel less shame for their social difficulties

- you might make isolated, traumatized, and shy people feel like they deserve to be included in social situations

- you might even make them feel they can be themselves around you

- you might start loving the effect you have on a room

- you might enjoy conversations more

- you might forgive yourself and bounce back from shame more easily and frequently

- you might come to enjoy some of those moments of harmless confusion you cause because NOBODY expects the Confident Awkward, and that can genuinely be an advantage in social situations

- you might stop apologizing so much.

- you might find that socializing is like a video game: it requires practice but also a safe space for it to be fun and positive.

Or if you can't become assertive and confident, better not remain awkward and shy and quiet, and then love and forgive yourself anyway!

Why, it would be carnage!!

In either scenario, you run the risk of finding out that it's not your fault that safe spaces full of kind people can be really hard to find, create, and nurture. You could end up building a skillset that helps you do those things if you're not careful!

If you start giving yourself even the tiniest amount of grace at a time, you will find that you've accessed a gateway drug with extreme long-term side effects:

- You might realize that it was never your fault that it took so long to like yourself.

- You might realize that you were always worth talking to, even when you didn't like yourself and communication felt impossibly difficult.

- You might realize that you'll still be worth talking to even if communication becomes harder as you age and/or experience disability.

- You might come to know that you deserve to be heard even on bad days when words come slow and blurry.

You might discover that you were always deserving of kindness, first and foremost from yourself.

So. As you can see, it's FAR too much of a risk to start granting your awkward self free pardons for your many heinous and harmless crimes. Better to just leave it there.

[wrongtvrns]

The way the blonde looked at her, the way Maeve spoke with softness and understanding, compassion and sympathy lacing every tone — it was obvious that this young woman knew what Kira was feeling. On one hand it was comforting to know she wasn't alone, that someone understood just how heartbreaking it could be to see couples merry and bright together. To see families holding each other tight and sharing glee. The brunette had the attention of many, came with the territory of being a celebrity, but the holiday only highlighted just how alone she was. Just how broken she felt internally. Somehow a little laughter bubbled up and spilled out, soft and light, that smile not quite reaching her eyes. "You're right about that. This open bar of sorts just sounds like trouble." And knowing her ex had now moved to her city? The possibility of running into Leti and the likelihood of some beautiful woman on her arm nearly had Kira running to the eggnog herself.

"The sweaters are amusing because people are so passionate in their hate for them yet people seem to be having fun with them?" Kira was trying to avoid that tug on her heart. Pretty, dark eyes framed with long lashes scanned their surroundings. Maybe some part of her had hoped she could soak up the love and cheer through osmosis. Could that have been why she subjected herself to this? But those words... just to remind us of what we don't have... caused the brunette to swallow down the emotion knotting in her throat. "Wait — you don't have family around?" They hadn't quite shared their stories. For some reason protective of their pain. Talking about things made them all the more real, didn't they? "I feel so out of touch," she said blinking the fog in her head away and shaking it gently as well, stepping a little closer to Maeve, "I'm sorry, I think I assumed you had a partner. I do listen, I apologize, I've just got my head so far up my own ass feeling sorry for myself..." Kira offered a rueful smile.

The humor was appreciated and a more genuine look of amusement momentarily crossed Kira's face. She wholeheartedly appreciated what Maeve was trying to do and even let out a chuckle, but those would be problems she'd love to have. With her parents she still wasn't allowed at the table.The boyfriend? He was for show and to gain some ground back with her parents. Friends were busy with their own lives and families and loved ones. She was becoming weak enough that she might call her ex in the middle of the night just so she could feel a little something. Even if that would end up only being more torture. "No, no... you're right. Sorry, I'm being such an insufferable bitch, aren't I? Just wallowing over here." The brunette hauled in a breath and tried to sober herself of the downward spiral she'd been taking on. She perked up, listening with a faint smile at the blonde talk about her little plans with her little one. "That's really sweet and so meaningful. Even if she's too young now, there's a day soon where that will be the world to her." The invite had actually surprised her and Kira was certain her initial reaction had displayed that. Before she could form the words in response, however, Kira was nodding. "We could..." The brunette encouraged, more nodding of her head. "We could cook up a little dinner and do presents." She wasn't even Christian but she wanted to be apart of something somehow. "Thanks to my mom's bakery I'm fairly decent at that. I could make us some treats?" She was starting to go off with ideas, just tossing out and seeing what stuck with Maeve. "You'll regret the ugly sweaters but I'd love that. If I wouldn't be imposing of course."

Maeve listened, her soft gaze never wavering as Kira spoke. There was something unspoken in the air—something heavier than the twinkling lights or the festive music surrounding them. It was in the way Kira’s smile faltered just slightly at the edges, in how her words danced between humor and heartache.“Oh, I’m sure someone will make a scene before the night’s over," Maeve teased, a faint smirk tugging at her lips. "The holidays do bring out the best and the worst in people… especially when questionable sweaters and too much eggnog are involved.” But as Kira’s tone shifted, Maeve did too. Subtle. Softer. She tilted her head just slightly, a quiet understanding settling over her features. “It is tough,” she admitted, no judgment in her voice. “All those picture-perfect moments—it’s like they’re lit up in neon this time of year, just to remind us what we don’t have.” There was no pity in Maeve’s tone, just the honesty of someone who knew that ache far too well.

Her lips quirked into something gentler, a faint, reassuring smile. “But don’t let the staged scenes fool you. Half of those people are fighting over whose turn it is to take the trash out, or burning the turkey.” Her voice dipped a little, almost conspiratorial. “And you? You’re not the only one who’s had a rough go of it lately, I promise you that.” The question about her plans earned a small chuckle, low and self-deprecating. “Christmas? New Year’s?” Maeve ran a hand through her hair, her shoulders lifting in a loose shrug. “Honestly, my plans are mostly kid-centered. I don't have any family here so it's just me and my little one this year around.” Her expression softened as she added, “She keeps me grounded, though. Reminds me that the holidays don’t have to be perfect to mean something. I mean she's still too young to know it but I want her to always know that.” She glanced at Kira, brows raised just slightly as if testing the waters before offering, “What about you? If you don’t have plans, maybe we could, I don’t know… make some of our own? A little less ‘Hallmark movie,’ a little more us.” Maeve’s smile grew, teasing but sincere. “I’ll even let you pick the ugly sweaters.”

[northern-passage]

You don't have to respond to this if you don't want to, I know it will start unneeded drama but I just found it soooo interesting that, since the transphobic blog lets you see their likes, most of their likes are TWC related. And it's not like that fandom is notorious for being a toxic hellspace, no sir.

to be frank it's not just twc, the IF space as a whole is pretty notorious for being toxic at this point. whether you're on tumblr or reddit or the forums, you're going to find these kinds of people lurking around.

that was why i did post that person's username because i could see them interacting with various other authors, and it's best to just block them before they send you something stupid, too.

just like any large online community there are going to be a lot of trolls trying to get attention by sending inflammatory messages or leaving cruel comments wherever they can; i've been getting that kind of stuff sent to me or left in reviews or comments for years now. and currently losers online are having a fucking field day with everything that's going on right now - racism, islamophobia, antisemitism, transphobia, even gore, i've gotten it all in my inbox over the last few months and i've seen others get even worse. these people are pathetic and not worth your time. i've gotten better at not responding to stuff like that, but it is hard to resist that instinctive anger, and that's exactly why they do it & exactly why you see it in every single fandom/online space.

all of that to say, just ignore and block them and you'll have a far better time online than if you constantly try to argue or reason with them because they don't care, their only goal is to make you miserable. even if you think you have some epic clapback, it's not worth it, you're still giving them the attention they clearly desperately want and potentially exposing others to harmful rhetoric. just block 'em, babey!

[britneyshakespeare]

i love hearing old ladies share about their vintage fashion doll collections. like doll collectors on social media skew very young bc duh it's social media but there's something extremely comforting about pre-internet era collectors sharing their knowledge and history.

[natjennie]

I don't know why season 4 like screeched my lost-watching to a halt but it really kind of fell off for me. ever since they've been doing the little off the island flash-forwards it's been losing me. I'm sure there's an interesting compelling storytelling reason for all of it, but from where I'm sitting it changed the whole vibe in a direction I'm not enjoying. I will continue to watch I guess, but it's slow going.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

another day another "applying the concept 'disposability' to 'someone withdraws from a personal relationship, & that wasn't signed off on by the other'" kill me

[spacemancharisma]

.

[asterdeer]

not vagueblogging in a mean way but in a "this is tangentially related to a post i saw but not nearly enough to leave it in the tags of the post", but it's like. so fucking incredibly important to me that the cemeteries of amalo is not a series where the main character loses their religious faith and finds new faith in a secular source. like of everything i care about in literature right this moment, at the very top of the list is "thara celehar not being beaten and bullied by the narrative out of his faith in ulis." this was not even a concern to me at first because it seemed unthinkable but the longer it takes the tomb of dragons to come out, the more the possibility scares the ever loving shit out of me. like no one is allowed to be religious in spec fic even though that's the easiest place to have religious characters, much less religious AND gay AND mentally ill and none of those things are like, canceling each other out -- they are all braided together and inform each other and build his character and like. to me the whole character falls apart if you take faith out of that braid. i know that people fall out of faith and that's valid and fine but can i please have one character. ONE. one character. who stays. pleeeeeease katherine addison i'm begging you. let me keep this one.

[narwhalandchill]

got requested to share my xueyi build so!!! here it is :]

(+ EU server crew - shes on my supports rn if u wanna add me to try her out alongside e1 RM and e0s1 blade)

anyway some notes:

a bit of xueyi 101 to start out jic - the atk orb and break rope are the standard for her; her break effect to dmg% conversion A2 trace makes quantum dmg a joke whereas her sources of atk are very limited. build-wise as this freaky puppetcore weirdgirl crit/break hybrid she wants it all rly; both crit, BE and atk, but prioritizing crit until some sort of 1:2 (guides tend to put 60/120 as the baseline) is key.

S5 aeon is perfectly fine and its what i used to have on her, i pulled indelible promise in order to end the custody battle over aeon between her and DHIL lmao (+ new gacha 4* LCs in hsr are like new 4* charas luckily - indelible promise after its initial release patch in 2.0 is now a permanent offrate on all banners except for beginner, phew). the crit on it is especially nice, rly hope i get spooked with some superimpositions in the future.

she shouldnt be on glamoth anymore really - this showcase is with her on spd boots (as you can see. duh) and she does reach the 135 spd for the 1st glamoth buff requirement when with RM (which is every time i play her) so its fine, but as i swap to atk boots when with sparkle im sure you can see why it would be... suboptimal. problem is. well. look at her rope. still havent managed to roll a comparable salsotto one so 💀 we live with this.

her relics are still a bit scuffed (chest and both her atk and spd boots are. fine. but could be better) but since i often have fx and sparkle patching up her crit its fine for now.

also yes i shouldve unlocked those last few quantum dmg and BE traces ages ago but its not rly that impactful when her dmg% is already as high as it is with the amount of BE i have on her so oh well x)

obviously given her dependence on break xueyis far from an universal dps - i only use her in heavily quantum weak fights (or in SU where u can get blessings to spam her ult for the weakness ignoring attack) but when she gets to shine she shreds So hard i love her sm 🥰🥰

+ heres the atk boots build ig. not that much changing as you can see but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[fanofcarson]

[eyepatchdate]

listening to the me:a ost for work and tbh it is incredible how much me:a is an improvement on the 'bioware open world game' formula. like i still think its weaker but in comparison to da:i, me:a is infinitely more playable and feels more full of an actual soul.

Like. I have 100%-ed both games. I will NEVER 100% da:i again, and honestly im not sure if i would even *play* it again. meanwhile i, 1000%, would replay me:a, and i could even see myself doing everything in it again. The grind isnt unbearable, gives you time to hear other party convos, and lots of the sidequests have memorable characters and concepts

[svnnykokoro]

I'm sorry the tags are so long and so many lmao

cats is a great example of a show that doesn't work as a movie because all of the magic of it is in the live performance (the costumes, the dance numbers, the absurdity of it all) and dear evan hansen is a great example of a show that doesn't work as a movie because the show sucks