#bc a lot of us who are old and wise enough know and accept the faults in the nature of doll collecting for what it is.

[britneyshakespeare]

i love hearing old ladies share about their vintage fashion doll collections. like doll collectors on social media skew very young bc duh it's social media but there's something extremely comforting about pre-internet era collectors sharing their knowledge and history.

[olderthannetfic]

hii! does anybody have any advice on how to feel okay with not having friends? i spent years abroad, so in the meantime my irl friends from hs found other friends to hang out with who they seem to like more than me or else are very busy with work and uni and such. which is cool, good for them for having such a vibrant social life, but it feels like they have no room for me anymore and i'm a person who can't make friends that easily. i don't drink or smoke, and i feel uncomfortable in big gatherings and feel better getting to know ppl one-on-one over a longer period of time, but that makes it hard for me to connect to ppl bc most irl people don't have much patience or already have their own established friend group and little old me doesn't hold their attention.

i'm starting a new job in a couple of weeks, so hopefully that will give me the necessary social interaction plus i have a great family, so i'm not going stir crazy, it just hurts a little that my friends don't bother to text me for days if i don't text them first or invite me out to places. and i'm trying to make new friends, it just doesn't come that easy and in the meantime i wish i could just feel at peace w being alone instead of questioning why people don't want to hang out with me or why i don't feature into their leisure plans. (not that i'm blaming them, it's just that it's hard not to feel inadequate.)

so yeah, anyone have any advice on how to feel at peace w being alone? like, maybe i'll never manage to make new friends or make new connections, maybe through lack of trying, maybe through lack of luck, idc, i just want to be enough for myself, but i don't know how.

so any wise words are appreciated and thank you, OTNF, for letting me vent in your inbox :)

--

Well... those feelings are pretty common and a natural reaction to the situation. You may not really get rid of them entirely, but you can accept them as a natural part of things and not a sign that anything has gone wrong.

HS friends rarely stick with each other even during college, let alone after, so you would likely be in this same boat regardless. Making new adult friends can be a pain, but it's something most of us face multiple times even if we luck into some good friend groups at points and even if we're more social.

The thing to do for many people is to keep busy with hobbies. A crafting meetup or book club isn't usually massive. I know you don't like groups, but nobody is going to go off one-on-one without meeting you in a group context first. Finding some more manageable groups to meet people casually and see if you click is how most people do it. The only way to get to know people over time is to show up in the same places with the same people a lot.

--

Another important thing to realize about adult friends is that many of them won't be good about texting you or inviting you because they're all out of energy for doing that with anyone. Maybe all of their energy is reserved for a job. Maybe for a child. Maybe for a romantic partner.

Even if you're their very best friend, they may still not respond much at certain times in their life. If you guys are just post college, maybe that's not the issue yet, but it will be at some point.

Every single book about the plague of loneliness and how people suck at maintaining core friendships outside of their household is fixated on this. People suck at recognizing when they aren't putting enough energy into maintaining relationships.

I would axe that hangdog attitude about little old you not holding people's attention. They probably just aren't allocating time to building friendships at all.

--

Liking being alone has a lot to do with loving yourself in general and having hobbies and things you want to have time for that are solo pursuits.

It's also about not waiting to do things like go to a restaurant you want to check out. Go alone. Go with a book. Anything can be a solo activity unless it literally mandates 2+ people. Missing out on friend time shouldn't mean missing out on everything else, but a lot of people let it become that.

[nadekofannumber1]

I think how monster season factors its themes is semi interesting bc of how it feeds into its final arcs.

Monster season has strong themes of the gaps between adults and children, both in the perspective between its two main characters but also the conflicts that take place per arc.

Shino1 is more centric on the gaps side as Deathtopia while not exactly being Shinobu’s parent is a narrative equivalent. With that the gap between Koyomi, Deathtopia, and Shinobu are explored as a family lineage. It’s easy then to see the use of illness and funeral rites are tools to show those gaps but also themes of how one develops into adulthood. Those gaps as a main theme are sprinkled throughout the story but it’s pretty clear they shine the most in shinobumono and ougimono main conflict wise, though I’d say ougimono is an interesting case as a portion of its central thesis on apologies is something that honestly meshes more strongly with the societal themes of Nadeko’s arc of learning to not apologize. Nonetheless that gap is central to how I feel the arc is supposed to read.

Shino2 takes on those earlier stated themes but as a resolution, it hones in on the angle of the conflict between parent and child. Both themes are fundamental to concepts of growing up in the monogatari series. Amari and yoi are central on parent child conflict from different angles, one of the horrors of the child and becoming and adult when life is horrific, the other taking the perspective of being an adult with a child when life has made one horrible. The difficulty in that separation in the fact it’s still you is what fundamentally feeds into the themes of adult child separation, and yet it’s a perspective that cannot forget the child, and the pain the child feels. Even if the parent has problems the horror they inflict on a child is something greater than their own pain, as when a child is not separate they are a victim of pain that isn’t their own and is being inflicted. It isn’t wrong to be an adult with pain, that’s natural after all, but the way you can inflict your own pain on others can easily be wrong. This also feeds into the unrequited forgiveness of ougimono, apologies can be social, passable,and sincere. Especially in Japanese society which’s hierarchical and collectivist in a way Nisio writes Koyomi to dislike. The social power play of an apology can try and force forgiveness upon an unwilling victim who doesn’t want it. Like how a parent can enforce their will on their children in a way they have to accept till they’re strong enough to rebel. Shino2 shows that rebellion, that separation. It shows people who are bad kids like Nadeko and Urako getting out. While Gaen is the form of a parent reaching out but being ignored, while still being a messy adult comprised of the pain of the past.

Koyomi does not engage with his actual parents for these themes, instead he engages with people he met in college and other specialists. After separating and living on his own he comes to see these issues as an adult would, lifting up others as an adult would, understanding adults as an adult would, and separating from Gaen to be his person as an adult would.

On the other hand Nadeko is so blatantly in opposition to her parents it follows her in every arc as she reconnects with others moves on gets a job and becomes herself. Gaen becomes a parent to her in a way that moves her forward, and Nadeko comes to understand her through that and Urako. Ending as someone who’s beyond her parents, willing to contact but is too much of her own person for them to handle, succeeding in rebellion and her dreams.

Just because one is an adult doesn’t mean that they still can’t grow up or change. A lot of nisio’s works are coming of age but how he expresses that coming of age is often different per story. Shinomono’s thesis is on that time in your life where you know your parents are people, where you separate from them, where you watch them grow old and die. Shinomonogatari is about how you grow when you become an adult, and even beyond that too.

[fizzywashere87]

*read your response with a wry grin, and shakes my head with a slow chuckle*

Now I reckon it might be the fact that I’m somewhat of an old fart, but this was a trip to read little lady *affectionately* I fear I may be more outta the loop that I expected, but I appreciate the sentiments nonetheless.

*lowers hat over eyes with a small smirk*

I’m glad you like the hat, I kinda like it too. Helps with the whole anonymous factor and what not, so while I accept your invitation to be your friend, I will do so from a distance. I do enjoy a good mystery myself every once in a while.

As for the main character moment, well Hon who are you not to be your own MC? This is your story ain’t it? You adventure in the making, so don’t be afraid to write it. *shrugs casually and folds arms nonchalantly*

I’m nobody but a simple anon who lives by the phrase, “If you see something, say something.” I think it’s a down right shame that we often left fear get in the way of giving folks the love and validation so many of us often see. And I try to follow the wise words of Ghandi, “Be the change you want to see in the world.” So here I am, doing what I can.

The world can hate for no reason, so why can’t I love for no reason? You don’t need to be something or someone special to be loved and appreciated, hon. You matter and are important simply by the mere fact you exist. Don’t forget that 🧡

*tips hat at you again before sauntering back out*

wry is a funny word 😚

i'm glad my wack ass grammar and way of responding to the last one gave you a stroke!! 🥰 /pos

love that for you preppy lil baddie 🎀

are you implying that you're crazy? because like kinda same or is it my language that makes you question your existence? 🤯

hehe ur like uber mysterious its so preppy!! either way new moot- your name is 🧡 because that's the only thing you gave me- plus i like orange so yippee 🥳

OMGIE?! WHY IS THAT LIKE- it's my story guys we can have the ex lover everyone hates the best friends and the dog

look et the lil guy he's a little baller ⛹️- give him respect he's better than uhm everyone he mogs everyone 👍

that's a good phrase but you're not just an anon i don't need to know which fucker on here you are to know you're so much more, genuinely though i rlly don't know how there was much to see here but im so happy there's people like you who can look into small things like this blog and make something out from it 🫶

ion know wtf "left gear" means but it threw me off when you said down right and then proceeded to say left- (rlly had to point that out 😔🤚)

bestie i bet you looked up who said that quote to be mysterious and like wise old person type shit i caught you!! 😁🫵

why are you being so nice tho? i'm rude asf some times- and how do you somehow like tell me every thing i probably should hear?

you're important too babes without people like you everyone would be defected fetuses 🤚

that was outta pocket i'm sorry.

how tf did you come in clutch when i was like failing at life tho- uhm thank you 🫶

can i have a cool hat too?- im kinda jealous of you /not actually bc you own and rock the hat

also keep coming into my inbox you said we're friends so we're friends now 🥰

they don't have to be super cute and sweet and wholesome messages that i go about slightly like nonchalant but they make me smile every time i get them (2 but i think abt it a lot)

love you tons new anon moot

also i heavily appreciate the validation from someone probably older than me- you seem like you're at least old enough to vote so ill take it either way🫶🥰🫶🥰🫶🥰🫶

i genuinely hope to see you in my inbox often, you can sign with 🧡 unless you want a diff emoji i'll probably know it's you

HAHA I DIDNT CRY THIS TIME 😛🖕

[castle-dominion]

c1x3 (technically 1x2? 1x4?) hell hath no fury

Coffee is just like that. He's present during paperwork for once. She's so pretty & looks so good in red & totally deserves to have that short hair. She looked so much better in the earlier seasons & now she's just some lady.

RC: No. Hiding would be building a fortress out of my comforter and then downing a fifth of Scotch, but apparently that's considered unhealthy.

Was THAT espt's voice? Woah. Lol two gay bois moving in together already huh.

KR: Dead guy in a rug. Naturally, we thought of you. JE: Ye Both: : ) uwu

Already jinxing <3

Castle just taking photos

Ok so ik I talk abt the outfits a lot but I love castle's scarf & beckett's coat & rysposito have swapped clothing

Hey, I'm a wise-ass, not a jackass.

Martha <3

I don't care about what people think... much.

Oh yeah even where I live we do roadkill furniture & gear.

[06:00, EXT. ALLEYWAY - DAY] Esposito and Ryan in a dumpster digging through the garbage. They are wearing coveralls to protect their clothing.

ESPOSITO I don't care if it was free. Even if you pay me, I'm still not gonna take that rug.

RYAN You tell me you've lived in New York your whole life, and you never scored a piece of road kill?

ESPOSITO "Road kill?"

RYAN It's an accepted practice, bro. You're done with your old stuff, you leave it on the street for those less fortunate. (waving a (still yellow) banana peel back & forth.) Artists, students, former hedge fund managers. It's trickle-down economics at its finest.

ESPOSITO Yeah, well, I prefer not to be trickled on.

RYAN :D You know that red couch I have? The one you like so much?

ESPOSITO 0n0 Don't you say it, bro.

RYAN 54th and Lex.

ESPOSITO That's gross. Gross. (Ryan laughing.) We are never playing Madden at your place again. (& I was wondering where the fanfictions learned this tidbit. Now I know.)

Btw you DO need to be careful. Dumpster diving is great but u don't want to end up with silverfish. (Happened at my church youth group.) (source: https://scriptline.livejournal.com/18193.html)

Bro never SAID he didn't, never said ANYTHING implying he didn't. He just said that the information wasn't a guarantee that he DID.

RC: Promise not to hate me. KB: I already hate you. RC: Fair enough.

Well, not exactly a friend. She's my interior decorator. But then we slept together, so I don't really know what she is now. WHAT Castle is the one who's kind of slutty, not nikki heat

Creason: *gagging on the coffee, shaking his head wildly* RC: I feel you, man.

KB: Hey, Esposito! JE: Ya? KB: See what you can find on that rug. If one went missing, what room it's from, and maybe who had access. JE: Yeh. KB: Thanks JE, to Ryan who is standing there on his phone: Road trip. RC: You're very good at bossing men around. KB: RC: I've noticed

RC, Through The Glass: You are so lame! You're Lamey McLamester! You're so la-la-la-la-lame!

JB: Mr. Bollinger's my father. Call me Jason. Me: Penis minivan lesbian was my father. Please, call me dick van dyke.

Lol councilman horny

lmao ryan in the background trying to give a gal his number & then he sends poor ryan after the drunk folks peeing in the flower pot & he goes to give the fellow his number even tho she already said she had a bf (well she said it to ryan).

Idk whether to laugh or get offended bc I'm no swerf:

Esposito, Ryan, Castle, and a couple other guys look over the prostitutes' website.

JE Damn! Those are some seriously fine five-star class-B misdemeanors. (XD)

KR: Dude, between you and me, you ever pay for it?

RC: Are you counting my marriages? (XD) KR: *one huff of laughter*

[Ryan clicks to a new page]

RC: Wait, stop! That's the girl in the photos. (See? Police work.)

KR: *sigh* Look at her. If I had your money...

[Beckett approaches and the other two guys takes off] KB: This isn't phone sex, Ryan. You don't just pay for the two minutes that you used.

JE: *Laughs*

Or you could just do it the easy way. (I love the way ryan is just looking back & forth between them & Espt just kinda looks up at beckett before awkwardly watching castle eyebrows HIGH, then beckett goes to hit him w her files; & then rysposito just turn to watch all smiley as she chases him down) No, no, no , no, no. You're the police. I'm just a lonely upscale gentleman looking for a date. Bet I find her first.

We all thought the pro was already there.

Beckett staring at him mad, Espt staring at him (eyebrows down but) interested, & Ryan staring at the box confused. RC: Yeah, just put it right over there. Perfect. Lift with your knees, man. Stay here for one second, would you? Because you guys have been so wonderfully hospitable to me, I just want to return the favor. And because your coffee is basically crap, I got you an espresso machine! How cool is that? Ryan looks at the coffee cup (which he is holding weird, point for the adhd ryan hc), espt is smilin & becks is just unimpressed

Goggles don't help like that but thanks.

Alexis <3 Martha <3

Firefly moments DX

I love Lanie & Kate. LP: Damn girl, you scared me. KB: Lanie, you're surrounded by corpses. LP: Yeah, I don't expect the living after seven o'clock. (So hearing someone talking is a shock.) KB: Funny. Neither do I. LP: I'm an M.E. What's your excuse? KB: Oh, don't be mean. LP: You deserve it. Getting a drink with me after work instead of getting your freak on with writer-boy? KB: Yeah, well, he is annoying, self-centered, egotistical, and completely-- LP: Fun? KB: LP: And take it from me, girlfriend, you need some fun. (Beckett's phone rings) LP: I mean, how bad can he be? KB, on the phone: Beckett. RC: Guess who's got a date with a prostitute! KB: *arms out in defeat*

He is a gentleman. Heck yeah, treat your escort with respect or whatever. True, big thing. Sex is a way to feel connected & men* typically feel more emotionally comfy if they are having sex with that person. Women* typically need the emotional connection to feel comfy enough for sex. Supposedly that's why marriages fail. Men* aren't getting the sex to feel emotionally safe & women* aren't getting the emotional connection to have sex. (*generalizations, probably cishet, etc)

Ryan looks almost normal rn, wearing that shirt & tie. Castle with his sweater today instead of his typical attire. Them all talking about the coffee.

RM: My three-year-old son could come up with a better story than that. Follow the money. Kirby: Hey! Hey! Can I go home now?

"Detective, with all due respect, there's no way in hell I'm helping you start a witch hunt against our top supporters. Now, you want to go through our campaign contributors? Fine. That's a matter of public record. But anything else and you're on your own." I mean he's right

RC: Hey. Finished your homework? AC: Yeah. RC: You want to finish mine? AC: Well, that depends. How much you offering to pay me? RC: Oh, I taught you well.

Kate just doesn't want to be seen appreciating castle's presence as a point of principal.

I figured it out. I knew it was the hair but I finally see where it is changed. I recently saw the 3xk sequel in s4 & Ryan with his "hello fellow kids" look. His hair is too far down. It is not brushed up away from his face, it is slightly curly & falling a little bit down. Plus, the lighting or makeup design has his lips lookin like mine did in japan. (The kids there had an app with filters but I was white so it made my lips way too bright.)

She has a right to see the warrant my dudes. U can't just waltz in there.

Ryan, flipping open his badge all prettylike: Stop running, bro. Campaign's over.

RM: Nice work. Very impressive. *Walking away* Oh, and uh, you, too, Beckett. KB: Sir??? RM: Just yanking your chain, Detective. Just yanking your chain.

Castle does readings like this, they could record it for esposito. (A point for an adhd esposito headcanon except u'r not allowed to be in the military if u have adhd, lucky for me.) (I remember in the pilot he asked for tapes. & then throughout the rest of s1 we can see ryan starting to get into castle's books.)

[6blackfilin9]

I love your Anko fanart! Tell me, what are your views/headcannons on Anko X Kazuku?

hThank you so much for the ask, finally I can answer it

here is my big thank you for the waitng

In a nutshell, the shipp was created by accident while me and my buddy were working on our first Naruto AU in 2019, where Kakuzu and Deidara survived their shitty plotholes end eventually ended up in Konoha

Yeah

so, the shipp’s birth date is july the 1, 2019

anything like classy, aristocracy kind of tension-filled passionate gothic romance with playful, psychological games & hurt/comfort vibes with slight scent of rivalry is KakuAnko

Basically, they are: a very, very old man with absolutely horrendous background who’s trying to finally have his mother*cking 10 or 30 years of peace, and a rather young lady with a rocky youth who’s being good & noble yet has very strong antihero tendencies

You know, I think they do have potential, since, in fact, they seem to be very similar, at the core

They are both very pragmatic realists, the people of logic and reason, yet if Kakuzu’s irritability doesn’t affect him a tiny bit due to his ideal self-control, Anko’s can lead her to quite bad places, sometimes. They put their interests in the first place, and even though she tries to attach them to Konoha’s, she still has ‘personal’ things (I’ll write ‘bout it lower*). Their mindsets are so complicatedly organized that, at some point & way, it prevents them from having many close people, and makes them very hard to see through and predict

Both of them are very flexible & adaptive, independent individuals with similar outlooks on plenty of things and high intellectual level. They clearly can find plenty of traits that they would highly respect and adore in each other

Here I will speak mostly for “why and how” kind of things, bc both of them are terribly tricky to accurately figure out. But there will be some headcanons too

So, there are still some odds about them, due to the strong difference in their occupation, like, in plenty of cases they are really tricky to be brought together, because:

- Of the job

In original, Anko is a Konoha’s special jounin, and she is very dedicated to serving the country. Independently of whether she likes her job or not (depends on the plot), she orienteers at the people, at society’s gain from her work. So, accordingly, in any other AU her job is somehow connected to civil service, whether it’s something police-like, connected to science, or something like CCG in Tokyo Ghoul

Kakuzu, on the other hand, is a hitman and a persona non grata in literally all the five big countries, Konoha too (which makes it barely possible to bring them together in the original universe without hard complications or heavy drama. But still possible). He orienteers on his own gain alone, but, depending on the job, it can include others’ gain, too.

This detail makes him a saint once he holds supervising position in some company or any high position in the government (the better the working conditions of the staff now- the more money in the prospective), and the sheer nightmare once he has it on the opposite side of the law. Him as a mob boss is a complete different topic for discussion, but to get the point, in this case, the trouble isn’t him increasing the level of criminality (its rather vice-versa), but taking hold of too much control in the high and underground structures. Even as an ordinary hitman he’s rather tricky, since everything depends on the case

In most of the stories, they come to some sort of compromise, and how hard it is to reach it depends on how shitty his job is and how attached they are to each other at the moment

Like, in the above mentioned Shippuden AU and Harry Potter AU (which I also wrote with my buddy) everything went like clockwork, because there they are both more or less on this side of the law, in Tokyo Ghoul AU (which I also wrote with my buddy) it is a bit more complicated, with her being in-law and him being very much outlaw, in the Avatar AU (which I also figured out with my buddy, but we never happened to write it) it is also pretty smooth, with both of them being outlaws and then jumping out to the glory after all the shit is done, but in another Shippuden AU of mine, this all would be just a motherfucking bloody disaster

- Kakuzu is actually a hard nut to get attached to anyone

He lived too long to be truly afraid of anything, though. Its mostly because he doesn’t really need to get attached to or become close with someone to satisfy his need for communication. The man can get along with anyone once he wishes to, he can have countless acquaintances and plenty of buddies, but he doesn’t have many comrades and barely can call anyone a friend. Because he is used to lose everything and everyone he ever had or happened to have, because of his inhumanly lengthened lifespan.

It requires time for him to get used to the person, and then, eventually, in some cases, spend plenty of it to get attached

Plus, for him, due to his profession, each close connection is a really great responsibility for him. In most cases, he’d think twice of weather he is ready to take it or not

Though it of course has the personal factor, too

In Anko’s case, she has a grand privilege by being a very intelligent and keen woman, not just in cognitive plane, but in emotional, too. High emotional intellect is actually a rare trait, so she automatically stands out of the crowd for him. Even though it won’t guarantee his alliance, it will grant her his high respect and some sort of sympathy

- Kakuzu is, technically, an asshole

He does have his moral compass, which includes a great amount of common social morality, but he also has that “I am working” state

Even though Kakusu has a set of professional principles, and he still acts accordingly to what he thinks is right, one and the very same situation can be solved diametrically different once the context changes from working to casual and vice versa

This, and him being very independent and quite antisocial, makes the degree of assholeness depend on various factors

This can lead to major conflicts of interests, and if they are possible to have any compromise or not is strongly attached to the circumstances. After all, both are very, very prideful and dignified people

- In other words, the only major issue for them would be morality questions. It’s possible to make the case acceptable for Anko, since both of them ain’t truly squeaky clean, along with Kakuzu being willing enough to watch his borders

- She is provident and doesn’t really need a lot of money on a daily basis, which is much of a joy to him lol

- *they both seek for the stable ground, first of all

Taking in consideration the life conditions Kakuzu had in his youth (despite war state, he still stably had family, friends, grand respect from everyone, home, warmth and food) and how terribly he was torn out of his secured social environment, I believe what he seeks through all his bounty hunt and other money-connected manipulations is stability. Sustainability he had back then. The only way to have it in the conditions of our existent world order is to have money (and a very good mind and luck)

Anko has indeed much more altruistic motives, yet it’s still not that simple. It seems to be, on the first sight, yet considering the “Orochimaru related cases” and her very wayward behavior toward them, it’s clear she keeps her own motives and needs in mind oh so well. The service she has is very well payed, it allows her to do what she likes or believes is right, and to have the living conditions she finds comfortable. And only here, relying on the made sustainable basis, she does what she does

- Thus, they both illustrate the principle “first help yourself, next help the other” just right

- She knows she can keep an eye on him, yet it’s clear for her that her influence isn’t borderless, as well as telling him off some stuff is kind of a not wise thing to do. So in the majority of cases, she never interferes

- This is not common, yet he can actually change some plans if the situation is serious and the compromise can’t be found. He is that kind of person who works on a further prospective, and in this context, this would be the relationship with his loved one

- While Kakuzu is quite conflicted and has very reserved controversial persona, Anko is both controversial, conflicted, and sort of two-faced, on top of that

She is a very sincere, cheerful and humbly honest human being, yet she has some darker natural traits of her character that became rather strong with age and traumatic experience. Cunningness, guile, ways-depend-on-the-case and a bit of ruthlessness, that is. Moreover, she has some unsolved personal issues, which makes her even more twisted.

Like, remember the time when she confronted Orochimaru during the exam? And Kabuto, on the war? Getting rid of them is indeed beneficial for Konoha, but it’s clear that for her it is personal vendetta in the first place. She wouldn’t have tried to do this alone, otherwise, because these two are rather dangerous ones, to say the least.

She uses greater good to cover her real motives (even though it is not truly complete bullshit), and seems to have a terrible habit to keep silence about really important things, which makes her quite prone to lying, in some cases

And sometimes it very badly pisses Kakuzu off, since it makes her prone to doing useless but dangerous shit too

Yet this not any kind of separate hidden side, it is integrated into her personality, and coexists with her bright one. That’s where her violent humour comes from, for example.

But Kakuzu, on the other side, is completely monolith individual, yet sometimes his mindset can create contradictions when it comes to something important to him. but it's another topic

And seeing these layered constructions, and motives, they can pretty finely predict each other’s behavior. Not super-neatly, but they for sure see the basis. This is what helps Kakuzu to prevent Anko from doing some stupid shit, sometimes

- Anko has a role of an indicator for the people who don’t understand and see the changes in Kakuzu’s mood sometimes, since she usually reacts quite openly. Yet, when she has the same unreadable mask of cold, or one of guile, it’s a nightmare for them

- They prefer the non-verbal way to show their feelings, even though Anko is obviously the more chatty one

- They don’t say things such as “I love you”, or other sensual stuff like that really often, believing it to be some sort of cherished words that shall not be spelled mindlessly

- Anko isn’t majorly into PDA, but she fancies it much more than Kakuzu does. She has her whole moments of studying something with her hands, whether it’s a hand, scar or face. He’s more into passive display of affection, like wrapping an arm over her waist or leaning to her or something of this kind; they can allow themselves to (not sexually) kiss in public though

- She knows he doesn’t like to walk hand in hand due to considering it a youthful thing, so there are times when she intentionally walks holding on to his sleeve; generally they walk separately in order not to bother each other, but sometimes they walk arm in arm (like an old Victorian couple lol)

- Being older and wiser, Kakuzu eventually upholds some kind of mentoring position, yet he never considers himself any kind of a teacher or master to Anko, believing her to have a good head of her own. He is just insightful enough to break something through to her or give a word of advise

- This, combined with his highly powerful demeanor, also makes him have the leading position in their relationship

- Anko respects him much enough to fortify this, entrusting with plenty of life questions (like organizing the family budget), even though they make the majority of decisions together. Mostly because he is truly wise and highly experienced individual.

- This makes him one of the very few people Anko would actually listen to and take their opinion in consideration

- So basically they have equal relationship with some tendency to patriarchal order

- And it is, really, mostly economically-based disbalance, with him earning much more than she does

- Yet they never have any financial-based issues, since both of them keep in mind and respect the contributions of each

- There is major power play here, too. He has the absolute might, she has seduction. Anko loves how he makes her want to submit to him, let him have all the power, so she likes provoking him. And she knows he adores it, loves the subtle control she has over him

- They don’t have conflicts in their everyday life. Each knows how to avoid pissing one another off

- He cherishes her playful demeanor, her intellect. Combined with her cunningness, it allows her to rival him, in social sphere. The way she constructs her phrases, the way she speaks, mimics, moves, how bewitchingly it suits her feminine snaky features makes his blood boil and heart melt

- Both of them, actually, have rather specific kind of dry, dark humour. Kakuzu’s is very cynical, satirical, quite often menacing and subtly demeaning; Anko’s is very sarcastic and quite dirty, even gruesome and rather violent

- Sometimes they “fight” verbally as a form of a play. In some circumstances they may sound pretty vile, so some unobservant people mistake this for display of hate

- In general, Anko is the one to heat things up with her playful demeanor, which can include provocation and rivalry, and Kakuzu is the one to keep this energy in borders, accumulating it up to much more intense states

- They both put the comfort in the first place when it comes to household. Everything must be cozy, useful, silent and super clean

- Yet they are both very unpretentious and modest, really

- She absolutely adores when he is showing his serious, severe side, or powerful demeanor. She finds it incredibly suitable for him. She also likes how his real age is sliding out in this or that way. Like, even though he has rather young face (that of 37-40 y.o.), his eyes give away that he’ve seen oh so much more than it seems; the grumpy noises and grunts he makes, the lazy attitude in movements and the way how rapidly he finds a comfy pose once he has a chance to take a seat

- They are both rather patriotic, yet while in the most stories Anko’s feelings mostly lay towards the country she lives in, Kakuzu’s more often lay towards some places, so called small motherland.

- Kakuzu actually could be a source of deep, strong admiration and delight for her, despite all of his bullshit. The unbreakable will he has, mighty burning heart, all the wisdom, talents and mind. Being sent to fight god damn Hashirama, clearly a genius of his times, financial & management genius at the least. And, still, after all the hard times he’ve been through, he maintained the very strong sense of dignity and nobility, even though slightly twisted due to the profession and abnormal lifespan

- And the very same things can serve as the source for her chagrin: with all those traits, he could have been so much more rather than a criminal. With all the gifts he’ve got, he could have been of great use to society. He’s much easier about this, since his prospective is much wider and embraces decades (and in some universes even centuries) instead of months & years, and he knows that he’d be switching sides throughout his life, being on this and that side of the law, yet he still is a bit uncomfortable once it’s brought up

- They are deeply into science, which makes them atheists. He’s into medicine and human biology, she’s into chemistry and reptilian biology; both of them are nuts for physics, history and psychology

- They solve complicated physical and mathematical problems together time to time. She is the first one to have tea-breaks due to losing her temper over it, he tries to figure things out right until you can sense the smoke coming off his head

- Actually, they do have a stumbling stone aside from job & morality complications. And this is Anko’s attitude towards Orochimaru

What she does is basically ruins her life very-very slowly, maintaining the issues she has and planning to make him pay for all he’s done

Kakuzu knows exactly what is really going on with this attitude and why, but he can’t really do anything about it. Like, he knows he can’t make her change her mind or put something into her head

All he can do is really nothing but try to explain how those things are working, and even this option is basically a landmine field for him. At some level she does understand that he could probably be right, yet she just refuses to go back on her mind. And this is actually really dangerous, so at some moments they can fight quite badly about it

- He’s scared shitless to lose her, though; especially like that, even though he knows clearly that he will, anyway, sooner or later

- he knows that losing loved ones ends up with sheer disaster for him, yet he isn’t afraid to pay such a high price for those six, five or four decades of being with her. Because these decades are that of a paradise ones for him. Wife and family, as well as stable job, incomes and life conditions, are some sort of physical definitions of sustainability he craves. Especially family, yet it’s far ahead to plan

- The fact that he will have to bury her one day makes her rather depressed, as well as the knowledge that the only thing she can really do about it is to try to bring him as much happiness and comfort as possible before she dies

thank you, i'd say more, but it's too much already

[taeyongdoyoung]

summary: you are a mermaid and you save a handsome man from drowning but little do you know it’s not his first rodeo when dealing with mermaids. seonghwa, a former prince, is currently hongjoong’s first mate and boyfriend. hongjoong is the captain, the pirate king of the most savage crew across the seas. and you want nothing to do with them. not because they’re pirates, but because they’re humans…

ship: mermaid!reader x prince/pirate!seonghwa x pirate!hongjoong

genre: little mermaid!au, pirate!au, fantasy, romance, fluff, implied smut, angst

warnings: some swearing, a lot of making out, cliffhanger bc im evil

word count: 1.5k

chapter one ☠�� chapter two ☠️ chapter three ☠️ chapter four ☠️ chapter five ☠️chapter six ☠️ chapter seven ☠️ chapter eight ☠️ chapter nine ☠️ chapter ten ☠️ chapter twelve ☠️ chapter thirteen ☠️ spotify playlist 

You kept marvelling at your new legs and kept running around the deck like an excited puppy despite Hongjoong's loud protests.

"You'll break my ship, dumbass," he joked.

You stuck out your tongue at him.

"Deal with it," you giggled.

And before you could react, he was coming towards you in a somewhat threatening manner.

"Sorry, sorry, I take it back!" you took a step back, admitting defeat.

Suddenly, Hongjoong grabbed you by the waist, swinging you in the air so that your legs couldn't touch the ground. You squealed in surprise and yet, couldn't help but feel warmth for him. Despite the past, he'd still come for you and your sister. He'd still tried his best to help you out and eventually, he'd accepted you into his little family. And for that, you would be forever grateful.

"Come on, put me down already," you chuckled, playfully hitting his chest.

"You'll stop running?" he tried to reason with you.

"Why do you mind it so much?" you pouted.

"It's distracting."

"Unless you have a better idea of what to do with my legs."

"I might have something in mind," Hongjoong smirked.

But apparently, he had no intention of putting you down despite your objections. Soon enough, he carried you into what you assumed was his shared room with Seonghwa. And landed you right in Seonghwa's lap much to your amusement.

"Hi," you mumbled awkwardly the second your eyes met Seonghwa's.

"Hey," your beloved answered.

"Splendid," Hongjoong mused. "Keep her occupied, will you? And don't let her sprint across the damn deck."

"Why? Where are you going?" Seonghwa asked.

"Does it matter? I can't get anything done around here," he sighed.

"Can't you stay here with us?" you suggested without thinking twice about it. "Whatever it is, I'm sure it can wait."

Hongjoong rolled his eyes.

"Fine. My productive day has been ruined already."

You stretched your hand out to grab Hongjoong's and pull him closer.

"Don't be such a buzzkill," Seonghwa teased his boyfriend.

"Or what?"

"Or...I'll have to teach you a lesson," Hwa warned.

"Ugh, you're both so annoying," Joong muttered under his breath.

"Care to repeat that?" Seonghwa whispered darkly.

Hongjoong shook his head. Wise man.

"That's what I thought."

You laughed and wrapped your arms around Hwa's neck.

"Don't give him such a hard time, love," you asked quietly. "Our captain has been doing so good lately, hasn't he?"

"Hm, I suppose you're right," Seonghwa agreed. "But I don't want to let him off the hook so easily. I mean, where's the fun in that?"

You and Seonghwa exchanged a meaningful look and immediately turned your attention to Hongjoong who looked vaguely uncomfortable, sitting next to you two.

☠️☠️☠️

Hongjoong's POV

Okay, I was completely done for. These two were going to be my ruination. Even the deal with that demon suddenly seemed less intimidating than their intoxicating presence. The way Seonghwa carried himself with so much grace and how he was capable of commanding everyone so easily...The way Y/N was capable of turning her playful stare into a menacing one in less than a second...If I wasn't so turned on, I would probably be terrified. The most savage pirate king of the seas made weak by a former prince and a mermaid. It was almost comical.

Seonghwa murmured something in Y/N's ear. Something I couldn't quite hear. She grinned wickedly and oh, how badly I wished I hadn't come here and just let her run like a kid around the stupid old deck. But it was too late now so I had to face the consequences for my actions.

Y/N moved away from Seonghwa's lap and approached me slowly, sitting on my legs instead.

"W-what are you doing?" I inquired in shock.

"Does it matter?" she said, mirroring my words.

"You're the one who asked me to stay here," I reminded her dumbly.

"So what? You agreed, didn't you?"

"And I'm starting to regret that."

"Aw, really?" she replied in a slightly mocking tone. Then, Y/N began stroking my hair ever so gently.

Damnit, I probably wouldn't admit it out loud, but it felt quite nice.

"You like that?" she wanted to know cutely.

"Y-yeah," I couldn't help it. So much for my pride...

After that, she completely took me by surprise and kissed me. Not like before. She kissed my lips and I wasn't sure why it was happening but I was fairly certain I didn't want it to stop.

"Does this feel good?" Y/N asked eventually. I was literally gasping for air and she had the audacity to call it good. This was so much better. It was heavenly.

"Mhm," I managed, not capable of doing justice to the reality.

Somehow, I had almost forgotten that Seonghwa was right there! Observing us...I wondered what was going on inside his head. Was he enjoying this? I broke eye contact with Y/N to check his expression. He looked utterly transfixed by what he was seeing. And a small part of me was telling me that Seonghwa was probably the one to suggest this in the first place. What amazed me was Y/N agreeing to it.

"Oh, don't mind me, just keep going," Seonghwa, upon noticing my distraction, ordered us to continue. And honestly, I would be a fool to argue with him.

"Where were we?" I pretended to have forgotten.

"I believe I was kissing you and you were having a jolly good time," Y/N reminded me boldly.

"That's an understatement," my response was barely audible but she probably had superhearing or something, judging by the immediate smirk that graced her face.

☠️☠️☠️

Seonghwa's POV

I couldn't believe my luck and yet, I was utterly overjoyed by it. They were right here. The loves of my life. And they were kissing happily. It couldn't get any better than that, could it? They were so beautiful...I spent a couple more minutes marvelling at Hongjoong and Y/N making out at a slow pace before I intervened greedily. I pulled her into a passionate but quick kiss, then, my mouth found his, as well. And so, I kept switching positions in order to give them equal attention. I didn't want either of them to feel neglected for I believed myself perfectly capable of pleasing them both. My two loves. Finally together. It was too good to be true.

"Fuck, you're so gorgeous," I panted in-between the thousands of kisses and squeezes and touches.

"Which one of us?" Hongjoong wanted to know cheekily despite the fact that he probably suspected what my answer would be.

"Both of you, silly. Of course, it's both of you," I insisted.

"I think Cap will agree with me that you're the most gorgeous around here," Y/N teased, tracing a finger down my neck.

"For once, we're like-minded," Hongjoong backed her up.

"It's not a competition," I chuckled. "But thanks, I guess."

"We're only speaking the truth," she winked at me.

"Suck-up," I scolded her playfully.

"Hey, that's no way to speak to a lady!" Hongjoong reprimanded me as a joke.

"Since when are you her knight in shining armour?" I exclaimed.

"Since I tasted her lips."

"Boys, boys," Y/N interfered. "Less talking, more kissing. Please and thank you."

I shook my head in amusement, completely infatuated by her. And him.

"Who put you in charge, hm?" Hongjoong tickled her belly energetically.

She shrugged, trying to escape his fingers.

"Captain Y/N has a nice ring to it, don't you think?"

"Little devil," he kept stroking her sides as Y/N cried out.

"Children, children," it was now my time to interrupt the conversation. "I believe we were previously occupied with a far more pleasant activity. Kiss me if I'm right but—"

Neither Y/N nor Hongjoong waited for a second invitation and they took turns melting their cute little lips into mine. It was almost too easy to keep them wrapped around my fingertips. Soon enough, all clothes disappeared somewhere, I didn't even care where, and the three of us found more than comfort in each other's arms...

🧜‍♀️🧜‍♀️🧜‍♀️

Reader's POV

A while later, you woke up from a much needed nap but there was still some time before the sunset, so you figured it wouldn't do harm to spend a couple more minutes lounging in the company of Seonghwa and—

"Where the hell is Hongjoong?" you voiced your concerns out loud. Seonghwa opened his eyes rightaway and looked around in confusion.

"Shit, no, no, it wasn't supposed to happen so early."

"Seonghwa, relax! What do you mean?" you asked. Seeing him so panicked was beginning to worry you even more...

"Let's check around the ship before we jump to conclusions," Seonghwa replied, trying to be rational.

"What conclusions? I don't understand what you're talking about," you mumbled in confusion, already putting on some clothes.

"He wouldn't just leave after what we did...He wouldn't," Seonghwa was not making much sense as the two of you were shouting Hongjoong's name, looking left and right for him, all across the ship. But to no avail. He was nowhere to be found. "I think that he took him."

"Who took him?" you were growing terrified.

"The demon."

To be continued…

[betafibiiiiiivviiixiiixxixxxiv]

so i saw a take about eula that made me mad so here’s my (biased) rant about her

i’m pro-end user license agreement, i think she’s cute, not just appearance-wise but personality-wise too

(didn’t pull her tho bc the kinda obvious powercreeping made me salty, might pull her when her rerun comes around just to have her and not level her)

but basically the gist of this rant is gonna be i think people unfairly mischaracterize her and i’m gonna talk about why i think she’s a good bean based on the two things about her that i’ve seen people mention they dislike the most: the way she talks and her relationship to/feelings about her family

disclaimer: a lot of this is my opinion and my interpretation of her character, probably has a lot of typos

this will probably be really like

incomprehensible i’m tired sorry but i’ll try to make sense

okay so

a lot of people from what i’ve seen dislike eula bc of the way she talks, but at least try to understand why she might talk the way she does

putting aside the reason why she talked the way she did to the people of mondstadt during her story quest (i’ll get to that later), let’s talk about her whole focus on vengeance first

imo her whole thing about vengeance is a shield of sorts for her

many of the people of mondstadt would only ever see her as a descendant of the lawrence clan, someone who means to do mondstadt harm

so might as well give them what they expect, even if it’s not what you really mean

her story in her character profile even says this

“Her grievances and vengeance are but a habit, a signal, a shield.

“What remarks she should just laugh off, what concepts she should bear in mind given her unique circumstances and position...“

one has to remember that eula is a descendant of the lawrence clan, a clan that is hated in mondstadt bc of how corrupted they became during the era of the aristocracy

it’s likely that when she was a child she was ostracized even though the sins of her family, her ancestors, aren’t her own

even if she wanted to make friends with the other children of mondstadt, they were probably too distrustful of her

in her story in her character profile, there’s no mention of jean or diluc in regards to her past, but amber is mentioned to have been her friend even before eula joined the knights of favnious

it’s likely amber was one of her few friends growing up, if not her only friend

and amber is a pretty easy-going and welcoming person; she probably didn’t care about the way eula spoke all that much and bc they’re friends she understands the feelings eula hides behind her seemingly contentious words

anyways about her and the people of mondstadt

the people of mondstadt only see the family she’s a part of; they don’t see her

from her profile story:

“Eula has been viewed with contempt by the citizens of Mondstadt since birth. The Lawrence name stands for a legacy of depravity and despotism that stains Mondstadt's past and scars the minds of its citizens even to this day.

“So, whenever Eula appears, old wounds resurface. People despise the aristocracy, and this does no favors for her reputation.”

“In truth, Eula is nothing like the fearsome predator many imagine her to be. On the contrary, constantly being met with prejudice at every turn means she is often the victim.

“At one time, shops would refuse to sell her their goods, restaurants would put no care and attention into her orders, and the citizens on her patrol route would refuse to cooperate with her. So, Eula's work is fraught with difficulties.“

and in her voicelines:

“The life of a Lawrence doesn't include much worth talking about... Basically, whatever you say, whatever you do, people will always despise you and treat you like a potential threat to society. It's nowhere near as bad as it used to be, though. Before I'd joined the Knights, good grief... I couldn't even buy groceries. Even Good Hunter and Mondstadt General Goods wouldn't take my money.”

“People tell me that if I just spoke more softly, or was more polite, or acted more deferentially, others may find it easier to forgive me, but the only reason they think that way is because they've never been branded a pariah before. There is no easy path to redemption when you're a social pariah. I'm more inclined to stop tiptoeing around everyone all the time and just get out there and make them respect me the old-fashioned way! As in, we square off and if they win, I humbly accept my punishment, but if they lose, they must acquiesce to my demands... Such as... Well, I mean, if I want to buy a loaf of bread, take my darn money, for crying out loud!“

the people of mondstadt wronged her and were mean to her simply bc of the blood that runs through her veins, and i think it’s bc of that she says that she’ll have her vengeance

imo her act of vengeance against the people of mondstadt is being a faultless knight, a knight who completes their duties flawlessly and is without reproach

from her story in her profile:

“...she is a law-abiding citizen and has never harmed another Mondstadter in her life. She may come across as having a somewhat frosty demeanor, but she is entirely scrupulous in her speech and conduct.”

“When Jean sends a new recruit to track down Eula in the wilds and deliver a new set of verbal orders, they always receive the same response: ‘If you have to resort to tasking the descendant of your former oppressors with doing your work, then perhaps you are not as strong as I thought’

“But despite the antagonism in her words, she will complete her newly assigned tasks to perfection. The new recruit is invariably forced to admit that with her abilities, it is no wonder she was able to achieve a captaincy within just a few years of joining the Knights.“

and honestly i just think she’s a tsundere

my evidence, your honor?

her “About Us: Feud” voiceline:

“Our feud is for the long term, so rather than get payback on a piecemeal basis, I think I'll make things easier for myself and wait for a day when I can settle the score once and for all. It could be in ten years, could even be twenty... But don't worry, I won't forget. In the meantime, I'll need you to take good care of yourself and have a happy, healthy life, okay?”

anyways about the way she spoke in her story quest

one first has to learn that this was what she was taught that way since she was young

reading up on the lawrence family based on her profile story, the renmants of the lawrence family are pretty much a cult i think

“The Lawrence Clan may have been overthrown a long time ago, but they have never given up hope of one day rising again and reclaiming their place as the ruling class. So that they are always prepared for this monumental moment, their offspring are subjected to an educational regime so unbelievably harsh that it is considered borderline abusive.

“’Noble obligations’ must be performed to absolute perfection in every possible sense, and these obligations cover etiquette, ritual, and study as well as cooking and other domestic chores.”

and also

she clearly doesn’t talk that way all the time?

personally the reason i think the mondstadters we talked to were like ‘ugh, this again?’ is bc all of the lawrence clan does it, and eula is part of the lawrence clan so it’s like, expected of her to talk that way

but the main reason she talked that way was to give an example to the traveler

she didn’t talk that way to us when we first met her, and she didn’t talk that way to amber and sarah

and some people think she still supports her family? like man

i don’t know if we went through the same story quest or not

but eula quite clearly ruined a plan of her uncle’s that was to harm mondstadt? and during that quest she quite clearly shows her disdain for her family and her family’s ideals?

“I’ve never experienced the age of ‘glory’ you always speak of, and I’ve never understood our family’s incessant pursuit of it. [...] The Lawrence Clan should never and will never become what you’ve dreamed it to be!”

not to mention her voicelines where she makes fun of her family often:

“Knights and aristocrats share the same cultural heritage, but the knights had enough sense to do away with all the superfluous detail.“

“Aristocratic etiquette is all just for show... Just smile and nod along! I was forced to learn all of the rules by heart, but even I don't take them that seriously.”

“I heard that bard sing a few songs about the Lawrence Clan... They were lighthearted and funny stories that mocked the clan in a way I've never heard anyone else do. Even I couldn't help but burst out laughing... And for this, he must pay!”

“Technically, aged Dandelion Wine should be poured into a silver goblet and allowed to breathe for 12 minutes, then you're supposed to add ice cubes, ideally so 60% of the ice is submerged beneath the wine. I refuse to do all that though, it's not worth the hassle.”

and not to mention this voiceline where she outright states that if her family crossed the line she’d end her family herself:

“If my family members refuse to change their corrupt ways, or worse, continue to cause active harm in Mondstadt... I should be the one to end them, along with the Lawrence name itself. For once, it'd be a family obligation I'd actually enjoy. And once the deed was done, I'd be free to pick any name I wanted. Or even let you pick one for me!“

also about her saying she wants to avenge her kin in her voicelines, (this is me kinda reaching, ngl) imo it could just be her sarcasm, or she could be trying to change mondstadt’s view of the lawrence clan so that others in the family like her who aren’t as attatched to the aristocratic customs and share her beliefs can walk freely in mondstadt’s streets without fear of reprisal, which can be evidenced by this voiceline:

“The name Lawrence only became a social stigma after the clan fell from grace. It was once an honor to be called a Lawrence, but unfortunately, most people have forgotten about that part of history. The Grand Master says that I am performing rather well as a knight, and that if it's not enough to restore the honor of the Lawrence name, it's certainly a strong rebuttal against the one-sided opinions so many people throw around. I'm quite satisfied with that appraisal.“

furthermore based on her voiceline about barbara, i’m pretty sure she wants to be liked? to be acknowledged in a good way?

“Everyone loves her. What's her secret? Maybe I could learn a thing or two from her... Hmm, or maybe not. I can't imagine a ‘Shining Idol’ would want anything to do with a descendant of a depraved dynasty.“

like, she doesn’t want to be thought of as just a descendant of the lawrence clan

she wants to be known for who she is, not her family

i think this is why she avoids lisa too, since lisa would have read all about her family and she doesn’t want lisa’s judgement

lastly, what she learned from amber’s grandfather, found in her profile story:

“From him, she learned an open-mindedness and down-to-earth persistence that she had heretofore not possessed. Before grievance and vengeance, before clan and outsider, one must find "oneself" first.

“One's way of living, self-preservation, objects of perseverance...

“Then call it "grievance" and name it "vengeance" — that will not change its essential strength and goodness.

“It would be Eula's very own gentle path of revenge...“

she didn’t turn against the people of mondstadt and join her family in their crusade for glory even though the people of mondstadt treated her horribly

she instead strove to be someone worthy of being respected, someone who is more than just a part of a disgraced and despised family

anyways i think that’s all i wanted to say

basically tldr: end user license agreement is a sweet and gentle person and i like her very much

[spade-riddles]

"Adjusting Expectations" Post

This submission received a lot of responses and 120 notes, so I thought I would compile the comments here.

Anonymous said:

Adjusting expectations anon was so good. If their timetables are right and we do just need to be patient a little longer, can Kaylor please send us a sign? I guess it would be too loud to slip "adjusting expectations" into social media posts, but maybe they could both do something with playing cards? To show they are card sharks right now but they'll find their way home eventually? That would reassure people. And it would fly under the radar.

casuallycruel131313 said:

I agree with a lot of this but I think the main issue right now is that moral and ethical lines have been crossed and there's no coming back from that. In these post-Trumpian insurrectionist times it's unfathomable that they could continue the Kushner narrative I no longer care if or when they come out, I enjoy the music and I'm happy to observe from a distance because I'm interested from a PR/marketing point of view but my opinion of T &K as people has changed irrevocably and I don't see how they can clean the tarnish off.

@theprologues said:

Agree with most of not all if this but I would like to say as a Kaylor the toe Grammy stunt didn’t phase me. I was not crushed by that by any means. I just shrugged and honestly expected it. It was the attributing Betty and exile to him during the LPSS in November that bummed me out and really made me go...really?

rockcrow20 said:

Have to say I also agree with most of this.

I no longer have any expectations on anything changing any time soon and have not been surprised by the recent events its to be expected after everything over the years really

Nothing has really changed (bearding narrative wise) since I fell down the rabbit hole in 2017 (except that great night in nashville 2018 rep)

Honestly I can't say I am as invested anymore about them ever coming out as I was.

I think the wb/Joe thing was the last moment for me and the continual kushner connection just troubles me like many others.

I mean my kaylor motto for awhile now has been hope for the best but expect disappointment.

Low expectations = limited feelings of disappointment.

original-cypher said:

@rockcrow20 the WB was a breaking point for so many. You are absolutely right. There are just so ma'y contradictions that feel like absolute whiplash. (I know I seem to have been the only one experiencing that with Gorgeous but... that was a big one for me, too) But like. You go on a whole PR campaign about speaking up and standing up for yourself. You say you're capable and tired of men trying to take ownership of your success and profit off of your name. And you credit you literal damn work to a bloke? Bitch, 'consistency'? Look it up. It grossed me out. It would have felt iffy if I believed they were real. But since I wasn't born yesterday it just sent me the message "this is how far I'm willing to sacrifice my principles to not be queer".

rockcrow20 said:

@original-cypher exactly why it bothered me and I know alot us so much. Such mixed messaging of being a strong fighting for your rights female and then oh hey let me attribute some of my best work to my pr boyfriend and the pr pics where she is walking behind all the time like 🙄 The Betty thing that was big one for me too!

rainbowdaisy13 said:

This write up and the comments are spot on. I don’t have much to add other than like @original-cypher said, Miss Americana is tainted for me now and seems like at the very least, it was released too soon in the plan. I get we think they have had to pivot but man, that doc, and including her literally saying “gay rights make me me” at the end was such a false flag. To see her wax poetic about not taking shit from men anymore and then see her do the same old hetero weak woman song and dance routine with the WB shit for albums that are of her genius mind has been so disappointing. I still believe Kaylor is real and I hope they get a chance to show the world that. Karlie posting that cardigan pic in the woods before the folklore release cemented for me they are still together. Adding a baby makes me feel all kind of weird ethical things but I hope I live long enough to see it play out and wear my I Told You So shirt 😁

@kellykaylor said:

agree with your post... I dont care about toe stunts but what really pissed me of was hetwashing betty 🤮! beautiful post tho anon!!

roameroo said:

Totally agree with these all comments especially the strong messaging of MA only to turn around & pull that WB = my "bf" crap. I was disheartened by her mentioning him at the Grammy's only bc he's getting credit for sh*t he doesn't/didn't do. That is what irks me the most about this, giving him credit for her life's work.

always-the-last-word said:

Can I throw my pennies in the pool ?? Taylor will put out the big three first Fearless, RED then 1989 that should bring us to about August. This is where the excitement should begin. If Taylor preps and waits for National Coming Out day it's a no lose for her. Lover her money making machine will go through the roof !! If things go bad or good in the public eye she'll have REPUTATION Taylor's Version ready to release. It will be epic and she'll own it and be FREE.

@karlie-what-you-want said:

always-the-last-word I like this take a lot! I try not to be too optimistic but if she wanted to come out sooner rather than later, I think this plan would satisfy both business and PR needs (at least on Taylor’s end). Remains to be seen how Tay will help Karlie dig her way out of the mess they made together regarding the K*shners.

always-the-last-word said:

Always remember that Taylor has a PLAN. Some of her plans are year's old (easter eggs). Taylor's one and only LOVE is her music, everything else comes second. If KK wants to change and be with her full time she'll make moves around the same time frame. That's if she chooses to. In any event Tay will be open and own all her music. I've seen this film before and WE might not like the ending.

chosetherose said:

I’ve been going back and forth for a day trying to figure out what I wanted to say when I reblogged this post. I’m tired. I’m frustrated. I understand I’m owed nothing by Taylor or Karlie. I understand that circumstances out of their control have caused the girls to pivot over and over again.

But, the root of my frustration in the past months stems not from me battling with the trivial (e.g. pap walks, etc.) but with my personal principles. I fiercely believe credit should be given where it is earned and I uphold this in my career regularly. To see Taylor crediting Toe with her art was deeply disappointing. Watch the 1989 and folklore acceptance speeches back to back and tell me it doesn’t upset you. I believe the K******s have blood on their hands and that their actions during the pandemic have killed people. To see Karlie still associating with one of them disgusts me.

I can’t help but think back in frustration - Would you really fall from grace to touch her face? (And in the brilliant words of @9w1ft) But would you die for her in public? I go back and forth feeling like questions like this aren’t fair at all and thinking they are sort of valid. At this point, it sort of feels like Taylor would only fall from grace for her lover if all the stars and facets of her life aligned perfectly. But perfection like this does not happen. Such is life. So why am I here?

I do question why Spade left certain messages in their final days. I am still holding hope a fervent revolution exonerates everyone. I so desperately want Taylor to regain control of her masters or re-records. Maybe this is the plan they thought was best with multiple goals in mind (re-records, having a family, coming out of the closet one day etc). I’m trying to remain patient because Spade told us to trust her endless yearning. But WOW it is asking a lot of us at this point.

Anonymous said:

Despite being a pragmatist kaylor and oftentimes getting into arguments with fellow optimistic kaylors (owner of this blog included) I think it's quite unfair -at this point- to say to the optimists who have patiently sat through the worst kind of stunts with the most terrible kind of people (yes I'm talking about the Kushner's friend group too) that they should have seen it coming. Besides, if it weren't for the optimists we the cynicals would have burned this fandom down by now.

Anonymous said:

Even if we ignore that an insurrection happened partially because of the family karlie's still working for and getting paid from, she literally said before the pregnancy debacle unfolded that j*sh was her last client while talking about cutting hair and doing a cutting gesture. How should we have interpreted that? 😤That a year later she would be more stuck with the Kushners than ever? We don't wake up on day and decide to have unrealistic expectations. She feeds into them. 😠

Anonymous said:

I have no expectation of Taylor coming out anymore. Zero. None. I have no expectation of her dropping Toe or even of Kaylor publicly reuniting. It doesn't even matter that much anymore. But I - do - expect 1 thing. Karlie to drop and completely dissociate herself from the Kushners and this has nothing to do with kaylor. It was everything to do with me being unable to support a person who willfully assists (now using her baby too) and receives money from a family that has made so many suffer.

Anonymous said:

A quick word from an ex-kaylor (who will never become an anti). A year ago, when the Trumps were still in power and untouchable and there was no baby, I was excusing and turning a blind eye to many things Karlie did for the K*shners. Even that dinner in September. I had also made peace with the truth never being revealed. But a year later the Trumps are gone, Karlie is still on full stunting mode now with a baby in the mix, a baby that is already being used by the Kushners, and I've really run out of excuses. Now the only thing that could possibly keep me on board is if I knew there was a good chance that the full truth would come out, so that Karlie's inexplicable and honestly borderline immoral actions could eventually make sense. But as your sub said, this is an unrealistic expectation, thus I became an ex-kaylor and I'm not planning to come back even when they reunite. 😕

Anonymous said:

What baffles me is that Taylor has explicitly expressed her regret about not giving her lover the credit she deserves and her doubt whether fame is worth hiding her true love: "when I walked up to the podium, I think I forgot to say your name", "what's a lifetime of achievement, if I pushed you to the edge". But yet again she didn't do anything to change this. I didn't expect her to acknowledge Karlie, but a nod or at least not falsely crediting her beard would be a good start.

Anonymous said:

1🙁 Let me chime in re: "expectations". I'm one of the kaylors who ever since the pregnancy reveal was trying to tell everyone there's NO way she was gonna dump him soon after birth let alone before that. It would bring too much unnecessary attention and Jerk would have never agreed to something that would make him look like a bad guy/husband. For the exact same reasons, I was also saying there's no way he wasn't going to post about the baby. All the above against the popular opinion back then.

2🙁 So I agree that the day of the birth post was known to T, not the timing though. Simply bc Kushner-leaning outlets made sure to note that detail. If they wanted it to go unnoticed, why draw attention to it? That being said, kaylors would have been more patient with this mess, if Karlie hadn't gone overboard with her freedom "smoke signals" last summer and Tay's "insiders" hadn't been insinuating that the end is VERY near. Both of them SHOULD have known by then how we would react to these.

3🙁 So it's natural that everyone feels played and has no patience for any more bullshit. Another sore point is how Jerk AND the Kushner-Trump klan monopolize the baby news. This isn't just to make it realistic, it's an abuse of Kaylor's baby's name to garner good pr for the worst family in America, with Karlie's blessing. In order for her marriage and split to appear realistic she's putting a LIFETIME burden on her child's back. Unless you believe she's eventually gonna say Jerk isn't the dad.

4🙁 So "we’re in a position we should realistically have been able to see coming". But we did see it coming, that why some made these extreme scenarios, bc this is the worst possible outcome. "Good people try to make it work, even in bad relationships." Ultimately this isn't just a "bad rs". It's a horrific association that should have been resolved ages ago, not one to bring your child into, doom it to suffer a similar fate, and expect people to sit idly and watch. That's what frustrates most.

[icharchivist]

So I just learned Lobelia is some deranged killer guy, and all this time I thought he was just a deranged perv guy. Huh. I haven't even met the fucker yet and hopefully never will.

DKFJDMFKFDLM i love the fandom impression that like, focus on the perv side but not on the killer. Like "we can accept that he's a deranged killer, but being a perv is where i draw the line" (said line being where the meme line will be since it can be a deal breaker OR maker for some people).

tbh he does have a bit of the Belial's rep but he's not as loved as Belial, probably bc well. He doesn't have the twisted tragic backstory and nature we came to love with Belial as well.

Also apparently he uses French in his dialogue. This is enough for me to wish him dead.

(also bc i've heard the Evokers's stories are a bit... clumsy? like the friends i have who unlocked a few Evokers have mixed feelings on them because their personalities tend to take a major shift in their last few chapters to unlock them and it becomes hard to know how you really feel for them).

but anyway. Thankfully you will not meet him anytime soon because it would imply actually working through the Arcarum. And why would you do that to yourself. Why would you hate yourself enough to work on the Arcarum. Not to mention that while you can maybe start each storyline a bit, advancing far enough to unlock them and understand them takes ways too much time and effort. They're even worse than the Eternals when it comes to the grind and that says a lot.

(not to mention that gameplay wise, Lobelia isn't exactly a first choice. Caim, the other Earth Evoker, has a gameplay skillset that is far more useful and people tend to grind for him first before going to Lobelia).

That said recently they have started to include the Evokers to some events... Mainly, the evoker for the Sun, who's name is, huh, Alanaan? Old cat man priest (who's also a murderer) (all Evokers are deranged killers to be honest they're like the Dark Version of the Eternals), he appears for a while during the Sauna event (*resists calling it the dilf sauna event resists calling it the dilf sauna event-*) that just came out last months... so whenever or not it's an indication that the Evokers are going to start to appear in the plot of some events until they get their own event, like the Eternals before them.... is up to see.

as long as Lobelia will be on screen tho i am team I Do Not See, i have only room for one deranged slut in my heart and it's Belial, sorry sir.

[egg-emperor]

oh are we talking eggman / alternate instances of himself? because i absolutely always hc’d that he dated zobotnik both to A.) have some control over the no zone prison and also B.) bc he’s him, so it’s just eggs universe hopping solely to smooch himself.

YES, Eggman x Eggman ships are truly the best, most superior Eggman ships of all. There's nobody he loves more than himself! From the very first time he no longer needed a mirror to kiss himself, he knew what it was like for one of his greatest dreams come true and he's always hoping for more opportunities. Zobotnik would absolutely be one of them!

He's immediately drawn to himself in each universe and delighted with every chance to hook up with himself, even if he has to use some charm like he did with Shahryar. It's common for him to be the first one that's interested in acting on it because the crushes are mutual but he has to encourage them to get involved. Sometimes he even tries to make relationships work across dimensions because he can't get enough of himself lol

The idea I had years ago was Eggman being arrested while dimension hopping and planning to charm his way out of it. When he met Zobotnik, it was a pleasant surprise to see that he was the dimension's equivalent of himself. He was awestruck by his beauty and realized the stay was going to be fun. His motives then became deeper than trying to charm any old warden to escape prison. He was genuinely eager to win him over and determined to kiss him!

When Zobotnik catches on, he's certain that he's too good at his job to be seduced by a prisoner, even if he is really handsome. He promises himself that he won't fall for his tricks and tries to appear immune to the flirting. But Eggman can see how flustered he gets when he teases and makes daring comments about finding him attractive. He also points out every time he notices him checking him out and insists that he knows he wants to kiss him really.

The truth is that Zobotnik is into Eggman’s playfulness and he can't deny that he's right. It gets difficult to stay professional and ignore his true desires. He ends up getting so frustrated that he pins him and they finally kiss. It’s intensely passionate, revealing the desperation they both felt. After that, Zobotnik asked if it would finally shut him up but he knew Eggman wouldn't stop there, so he stopped trying to hide that he wanted more too.

Eggman loves to know that he's giving in to temptation and Zobotnik can't deny that it excites him too, even though getting involved with a criminal like him is bad for his reputation. That’s why he was hesitant to accept his attraction to him, along with believing that he was only trying to trick him into letting him free. And while it was originally Eggman's only intention, things changed upon meeting Zobotnik because he genuinely wanted him.

Once Eggman proves it very well when they get intimate, Zobotnik becomes fully confident in expressing his desires. He gets comfortable with being himself around him and shows a side that he keeps from others. Eggman would be pleased to find out that Zobotnik has a much more twisted way of dealing with prisoners than he lets on to the general public. There's still a lot of mystery to him which he really likes, so he just had to find out more.

They realized they're quite compatible despite their positions as criminal and warden. Both know hedgehogs to complain about, are shady and deceitful, have sadistic tendencies, and big egos. Their personalities clash at times but they're up for the challenge of making it work. It's a fun game when they get competitive and the tension just makes them desperate to make out, which is how they settle disputes sometimes. XD

Eggman never fails to take advantage of the benefits that can come out of being with his counterparts, so he'd date him for perks of the Zone Jail. He made a deal with Zobotnik and promised that he'd be a good boy if he let him work with him instead of staying in a cell. Zobotnik knows only half of that is the truth and that he still had the plan of leaving the place. But he realized he could be a valuable asset, so he accepted the offer.

While Eggman definitely isn't one for being on the side of the law, he likes when the equivalent of himself is the successful one in every dimension. And all those so called villains/criminals in that prison could never be as great as either of them, so he doesn't care about what happens to them! Plus, he can actually have a lot more fun staying there than he expected because Zobotnik runs the place in a way that he finds exciting.

They enjoy keeping prisoners in check by asserting their superiority, breaking down their pride, and putting them in their place! Eggman introduces new methods of punishment for those that fail to obey, no matter how extreme they are, as Zobotnik likes to 'bend the rules' a bit when necessary. The prisoners soon learn that it isn't wise to mess with them. And from then on, Eggman is the one that's most often at his side. Znively who?

Eggman likes visiting his room at night and Zobotnik acts bothered by him showing up uninvited but lets him in every time. They've spent good nights joking and laughing together, discussing future plans and enjoying each other's company more than they'd like to admit. They also cuddle, kiss and mess around a bit which is usually something Eggman initiates, but Zobotnik likes to take control and Eggman being the vers he is likes it when the tables turn.

They despise interruptions like prisoners causing trouble in the late hours. People have suspected that something is going on between them because of the nights Zobotnik arrived looking disheveled when he got there in a hurry, with Eggman close behind. They wonder why Zobotnik would even want him to work alongside him, let alone be with him. They don't doubt that it took some 'charming persuasion'. Eggman’s simple answer is that it's because he’s sexy, which proves it totally did! ;D

[sinkix]

《What your fav Haikyuu!! Character says about you│Nekoma Edition》

Yo-hoo! Here’s another part to this potential(?) series! I hope you enjoy the possible call-outs in some of these lmao. Writers block been kicking my ass recently but I had a lot of fun writing these. Enjoy <3

You can find the Karasuno ver. here 

✧✧✧✧✧ ✧✧✧✧✧ ✧✧✧✧✧ ✧✧✧✧✧

Kuroo:

Have a hand fetish and will not say no to choking.

Daddy kink™

Will not accept anything below 6 inches.

More of a dog person but would love to own a black cat.

You drool over tattoos.

Your grades are mostly B’s but you know in your heart you deserve that A, and tbh you probably do. Chase ur goals bby.

Halloween is likely your favourite holiday.

You have to resist not to carve a dick into the pumpkin EvEry GodDAmN YeAr.

You either study for 6 hours consecutively or cannot study at all and you get very frustrated at this.

Have the potential to be a good leader and command the room but probably don’t put it to use as much as you should.

Your playlist parkours from sad 3am crying into your pillow songs to aggressive punk music you could rob a store to.

You like bad boys who hang around bars and look like they would put out a cigarette on your forearm and call you a slut. Just stating facts sweaty xoxo.

Either dress very feminine and girly with a ‘smol girl uwu’ aesthetic or a hardass punk who would kick your ass for a can of beer no in between and tbh both are equally hot.

You’re a big softie at heart either way and just want to be held and told everything will be okay.

Ur a hoe for when people stroke your hair or caress your chin it’s your ultimate weakness.

Watched Rick & Morty.

Twice.

Sleeves rolled up veiny forearms and donning a silver watch are your muse and something you fantasise about frequently.

Most of your memes are shitty top text bottom texts that are somehow funny and I don’t understand why lmao.

You call someone ‘bro’ even if it’s someone you’re immensely attracted to.

Did someone say ties? No it’s just ur dirty ass thoughts thinking about that hot business dudes attire from across the street and how you wish they were tied around ur wrists.

Probably had a crush on Jeff the Killer as a tween and are relentlessly haunted by your old Wattpad library. 

Tbh any dark-haired dude with bedhead that screams rugged and probably not good for you is something that draws you like a moth to a flame.

You often question why every person you’ve fallen for has been a Scorpio and curse that tendency of yours.

Dw man they’re hot so I feel u.

Kenma:

Went through a ‘I’m not like other __’ phase and it’s something that you think about a lot and wish you didn’t.

Watched dan & phil as a kid.

Any mention of Pokemon has you turning into a rabid beast you get way too excited.

It’s cute though dw bby.

Pretty antisocial but interesting to talk to.

Your family often question how you’re able to sleep in till 3pm and judge you heavily for it.

Nocturnal night owl gang rise up.

Frequently have bags under your eyes but somehow manage to pull it off.

Listen to ASMR on the down-low and will never admit it to a single soul.

Frequently go on BL binges and have many related book marks.

You pray that someone will never find your laptop bc holy fuck the amount of smut on that.

You wear scarves & beanies even when it isn’t that cold outside.

100% went through a scene hair phase/attempted to.

You dye your hair a lot or REALLY want to.

You have a voice kink low-key so anyone with a pleasant/soothing sounding voice just gets u goin’.

Cats are your favourite animal and you either do or want to own several.

Would name them after video game/anime characters u fuckin nerd lol.

Speaking of cats ,you fantasise heavily about cat-boys and have a folder dedicated to them.

Oversized hoodies are your vibe and always ball the sleeve hems in your fist as a comfort mechanism.

Shopping centres are your worst nightmare and trigger your claustrophobia or social anxiety and honestly I feel that spiritually.

Have a cute sticky note collection.

You like a lot of music consisting of guitar and slow/soothing beats.

You also fw EDM/ techno on occasions.

Honestly wouldn’t wanna anger you since you have a seething temper when pushed far enough.

It’s the kinda temper that’s eerily quiet but no less terrifying, like the other person can tell you are graphically plotting their demise.

You love sleeping to the sound of rainfall and often play those nature ambience videos while you sleep.

Never tidy your sheets and it’s just a big scrunched up heap of fabric in the centre of your mattress most of the time.

Make your fucking bed.

Lev:

Your ships are chaotic and shamelessly controversial.

Would do something just for the sake of creating mayhem lmao.

You were the fucker who stuck their chewing gum under the desk, I see you.

Your brain never stops whirring it’s a constant hurricane of crackhead energy and you have no idea how to turn it off. 

Would eat a stick of pencil lead for $2

You don’t help your situation with the amount of coffee/energy drinks you consume.

The class clown who cries themselves to sleep.

Such a wholesome dumbass but somehow kinda intimidating??? 

Even if you’re not confident you can do something you’ll try anyway and honestly I respect that about you.

You !! use!!! a lot??!! of!! random punctuation!!! so you always??!?!? seem!!111!! excited!!!!!11!?

Every time you’ve ever tried to make a sandcastle it has failed.

You tried to eat the sand once but we don’t talk bout that.

You would  also pick up slugs and snails and chase your friends around with them.

Can never tell whether people are laughing with you or at you and while you don’t let it show it high-key bothers you when you’re laying alone in your room at night.

Not one to hold grudges, you carry a ‘shit happens’ mentality which is v good but it sometimes leads to people taking advantage of it or walking all over you.

Your meme collection is both questionable and horrifying.

Like how many cursed images and heavily distorted pictures does one person need.

Never organise the files on your PC/laptop so it looks like a complete dumpster fire.

The one at sleepovers who persistently woke everyone else up with their snickering and refusal to sleep till dawn.

For the love of Asahi charge your damn phone.

I see that red bar and ‘12%’

Charge it now.

Bought a plant one time, gave it a name and talked to it frequently.

It died not long after bc u forgot to fucking water it.

No one better ever make you responsible for a pet.

Type of person that when someone asks you to tag along on an endeavour no matter how stupid it is you will agree.

2am skydiving in france? hell yeah.

Midnight shopping spree and spending over half your pay check? count you in.

Exploring an abandoned hospital and performing an Ouija board to summon the demons of hell? you’re damn right you’ll be there.

I hope you have a mum friend by your side bc if not how are you still alive.

You sometimes put the milk in before the cereal and it’s something I’ll never forgive you for.

Yaku:

Very responsible and usually make the right decisions.

You do have moments where you act like a complete dumbass though.

Like u go from 50 year old to 5 year old in the blink of an eye.

A hopeless romantic but it’s a side you don’t often reveal.

Prefer strawberry milk over any other flavour.

You’re the type of person to shower twice a day w/o fail.

Where that stank smell coming from? Not you clearly bc your skin is basically 90% The Body Shop’s rose scented soap at this point.

You get stomach aches a lot and you can’t figure out why.

Probably an allergy to everyone’s bs.

Really good at dirty talk even though you don’t seem the type so people are always taken aback.

You have to be really in the mood though otherwise it falls flatter than Oikawa’s ass, use your skill wisely.

You often call people clowns when you know you’re secretly the biggest one going.

Honk honk, hoe.

You send messages in one paragraph rather than multiple texts unless you are REALLY excited.

People underestimate you at times then are shocked when they realise you are capable of being a fire-breathing dragon from the flaming pits of hell.

You like spicy chicken wings.

Such a petty little shit at times lmao.

Enjoy the view from the top of mountains so you either hike a lot or really want to.

Way more of a cat person since it’s just much more convenient for you.

Usually pretty cheerful or calm and people are drawn to your stable/friendly aura.

Went through a phase of drinking mountain dew and your body still feels the awful effects

Fav element is probably air.

You’re 5′6″ or shorter.

Box dyed your hair brunette several times and can never get the pigment out to this day.

Yamamoto:

Whenever you smell something weird in the room you always internally freak out and think it’s you.

Head-butting walls is your hobby.

You fell off your bike as a kid and still have the scar on your knee.

Probably have tons of ear piercings.

Would tame a pigeon and call it Larry.

You get frequent nosebleeds and can never tell if it’s a medical issue or your extreme simping for fictional men/women.

Hopefully the latter.

You constantly chew your pen/pencil in class so you never lend them to anyone out of embarrassment.

I really hope no one ever lends you stationery bc 30 minutes later it’ll look like it was mauled by a rabid rottweiler.

You really want to own a dog and would call it something intimidating like Banshee or Diablo.

You bleached your hair that one time and it almost fell out so now you’re forced to stay at least 10 metres away from all at-home hair dye products.

You tried your best though bby so A for effort, even if it did look like dehydrated ramen afterwards.

Your grades are mostly C’s and you’re barely passing bc you just don’t care about your classes lol.

Still though you’re actually pretty smart so put it to good use you lazy oaf, channel that crackhead energy into something good.

Your phone screen has several cracks in it from when you dropped it on the bathroom floor while shitting and you’ll always be angry at yourself for that.

You have some really weird quirks but you make it work.

Actually a v chill person but you just kinda attract chaos/trouble wherever you go.

Carry a lighter with you even when you don’t need one.

Shy texter but once people see you irl you are the complete opposite, you just dk how to text without coming across as awkward.

One of those people that’s unintentionally funny and always get confused when you make someone laugh but it makes you feel good regardless.

Have a cool necklace collection and own at least one dog-tag/army style pendant.

Should really consider buying a rabbit you would look so cute w/ one.

You have really nice legs and people should compliment them more.

Either severely dehydrated or overly hydrated to the point you are peeing pure tap water so for the love of god please learn moderation, your kidneys and bladder will thank you for it.

Inuoka:

Your favourite character would be Hinata but you like people taller than you so your love for Inuoka spawned.

You really enjoy using the double spiderman meme.

Cannot correctly verbalise your feelings without creating a minimum of 10 misunderstandings but once people are used to it it’s kinda endearing.

You usually wake up in a good mood and people can never fathom how or why.

You either stay up till 5am or you wake up at that time no in between.

A morning person bc you love the sunrise.

Change your lock-screen very regularly bc you get bored.

Your humour consists solely of poop jokes.

When you don’t understand a joke you laugh anyway and hope they don’t ask you if you actually get it.

Happened once and you’re still traumatised from the cricket silence that fell upon the room.

Really like the taste of lemonade and drink it more often than you should.

Often think about what you would look like with a shaved head.

More of an extrovert but def have occasional introvert tendencies where you wanna be left tf alone.

Never allowed to pick up anything in stores bc the last time you did you sniffed a scented candle and it shattered to the floor.

Constantly have spontaneous ideas of what to change about your appearance.

You use a lot of hand gestures like thumbs up and peace signs.

‘Dude’ and ‘lmao’ is 90% of your vernacular.

Your nails are a disaster, some are down to the nub while others are pretty grown out bc you only bite a select few please sort it out.

Look really good in red.

Your laptop has way too many tabs open from random google searches of words you didn’t know the meaning to.

You read a lot of books but for like 10 minutes at a time bc you have the attention span of a walnut.

You are the type of person to nuke your AO3 tags with things that aren’t even relevant purely bc you found them funny.

Your Tumblr drafts are a nightmare, you have like 100+ in the works yet keep starting new projects why do you do this.

Happy sunshine but you have a LOT of mood swings like that shit comes out of nowhere.

Cry pretty often but no one ever sees and it’s usually because of said mood swings.

You always smile and pick yourself up again though which I commend you for.

TYPES IN CAPITALS IN SITUATIONS THAT DO NOT REQUIRE SAID PUNCTUATION SO YOU SEEM LIKE YOU’RE YELLING ALL THE TIME.

[lightwormlol]

ACOFAS REVIEW -INC SPOILERS

4.5 stars.

Okay, so! This was the first book I was able to finish in 2021. I've kinda been in a reading slump, and struggling to get past the 30-50% of books. I think its because I took essentially 3 months off my normal (daily) reading schedule and have been prioritising other things (health, fitness, job applications etc) - I think it's a testament to how addicted I was to this that I finished and consumed this at the rate I did! I recently went back and added some things to my ACOWAR review. To briefly summarise, I feel that, at the time I read it, it kind of gave me what I needed, but it definitely isn't getting a re read - my love for feysand has definitely lessened over time, but honestly i'm not that mad at sarah for this, as I find that whenever I've passed the sexual tension part of relationships in books, I tend to get bored of the domestic bliss. Like, leave that shit for an epilogue and keep it at that? As someone generally averse to relationships, but there is definitely a grace period for how long I can actively be smitten with a couple... before it becomes sickly. Taking all this into account, I honestly was nervous for this book, its release date totally took me by surprise, and I read it on a whim. As a Nessian shipper (I mean we didn't really have a choice after acomaf but to delve into the world of fanfic to keep us going) - this book gave me most of what I wanted and needed from them! I think,(some) kudos to SJM, for not disappointing in their relationship. This was definitely a character > plot driven story. In terms of the plot, I wasn't really invested until around the 38% mark? I'm not sure if I was adjusting to the writing style (lots of dramatic. sentences. that. are. so. abrupt. Nesta Archeron. Death etc) - or if it was bc I hadn't read an SJM book since the novella, which I basically skimmed. I was obviously reading for Nessian, but I didn't really feel intrigued by the wider plot (death gods, the human queens? Given I had lost my previous obsession with the world/ have outgrown 'fandom' culture, that made me actively update my knowledge, I couldn't remember a lot!) I think its clear that SJM excels character driven stories, but I think her worldbuilding and execution is significantly better in the throne of glass franchise. Now, I did say this was a character driven story. This is mostly regarding Nesta, Cassian and Azriel. I loved pretty much any interaction they had! I love a good training montage. Ngl though, I think, unless you possess an ardent love for Nessian, you're not going to be particularly wowed by this, if you've read heir of fire, or even acomaf. I obviously am never going to be able to be objective, because I've loved nessian so much from 2017-now, but I loved the dynamic those two (and three - friendship wise between nes/cass/az). One of the highlights of ACOWAR for me was the snippets of Az, showing tenderness, and opening up to the newer members of the inner circle (and i'm excluding any hint of an Elriel ship because FUCK THAT LOL) For me, the tip with SJM books is: once you outgrow them/the particular mode of narrative style, is to not anticipate anything other than a character driven story, albeit one riddled with smut. I personally am a romance heavy reader, so I'm honestly deconditioned to it at this point, (like, when I see reviewers scandalised I'm like... wow, the amount of trash I have consumed in the last five years loool.) While I disagree with the fact SJM marketed this series as y/a (or maybe it wasn't her per se, but the key booksellers definitely did this for her) - I think its clear enough now she's descended into the adult/borderline erotica genre.(very mild imo). I personally like to adopt a policy of skimming sex scenes when I find the dialogue cringy (most the time it is lets be honest any talking is v second hand embarrassment). Cassian and Nesta were definitely better than Rhys and Feyre post chapter 55 though! I was so glad there weren't a million moments of Cass/Nesta betraying their arousal with their scents, in front of everyone (like feysand, the voyeuristic pda pricks they are). I found the slowburn ish nature of their relationship great, and I actually think if you're a virgo/emotionally stunted reader, you will be happy with their relationship dynamic. It contrasts with the daemati sexual snark of acomaf, but it felt right, and authentic. This book was a journey of personal growth, for Nesta. It is clear SJM loves books about strong women, and maybe thats what makes me love this book so much. I think, out of all the archeron sisters, I love Nesta the most. This is for my Rose Calloway fans, my misunderstood, somewhat cold/left out girls, who are less receptive to being vulnerable. If you're a slowburn fan, it's not Mariana Zapata levels of slowburn, imo it's the perfect combo. Addictive enough that I don't want to put it down, but not so fast moving that I couldn't believe it. I loved the sex without emotion relationship they had!! This is honestly never done in mainstream n/a fantasy, unless its a caricature of a 'slut' that normally rivals the main character, lmao. Even if their inner conflict was p transparent, this gave me everything I needed! I know this is vapid lol but I also love the physical dynamic between the two, they just look so good together, the amount of fanart I'm going to reacquaint myself with after this review!! I adored seeing Nesta grow, (even if towards the end I kind of resented her sudden acceptance into the inner circle, i get SJM loves her and just wanted a fluffy ending, but, as a Nesta like character, it's awkward and stilted on her end to adjust to the inner circle like this - i mean, hugging rhys, really??)

I think, if I had to compare this to any other SJM book, I would say Chaols book (though I obviously preferred this). That being said, I felt less attached to new characters in this book than I was in even Chaols book (and even then ngl I remember nothing?) Obviously I loved what it represented, as a trio of traumatised women. I just, didn't love this the way I loved other inner circle members! I get that they gave Nesta exactly what they needed, a family that doesn't hold the history of her sisters, who she doesn't have to worry about holding preconceived notions of disappointment. I loved this for her! Even then.. I just wasn't attached to either of them. I found their interactions cute - but boring. Towards the end, when their stories/pasts are revealed, I couldn't help but cringe slightly, I can't put my finger on why, but I just didn't buy it. Maybe it's the brit in me but I couldn't be moved by this slightly forced bonding moment.. which was so anticlimactic. My 'aww how cute' tolerance is defo deserved for characters whose tropes I love. Maybe they just didn't fit into this list. Maybe I'm just being a cow here?

Now, let's speak about the real star of the show.... A FUCKING MAGICAL HOUSE FRIEND??? YESSSSSSS. IF YOU ARE AN ILONA ANDREWS INNKEEPERS CHRONICLES FAN, U WILL LOVE! How was the animation of this somehow more touching than all of nesta's other friendships combined? Exactly what I ordered, thank you. This trope somehow touches more than any material bonding!! The cute witch x house dynamic (also maybe howls moving castle vibes?) I loved the trying to reach the target of 10,000 steps (a little Celaena HOF). I think this, heir of fire and acomaf are my favourite SJM books for this reason. Gripes: I definitely had some personal gripes with how other members of the inner circle treated Nesta (rhys i'm looking at you. Disappointed doesn't even cover it.) I inherently take offence to any elain scene, as i'm so over bland characters whose existence is reduced to wanting to fucking plant flowers?? like?? really? To go from moriel to that is such a downgrade, even if I fell out of love with Mor due to the way she snubbed Nesta (you're a 500 year old being and you can't see someone is clearly traumatised?). I adore Az so much, but if it aint polyamorous, I cannot see any pairing with Elain making me happy. (wouldn’t mind gwyn though) I think the whole mating bond that I do not want is a good dynamic, but I really hate that everyone has to be mates in this world. I don't think we were that surprised, but it would've been nice if the somehow, idk, developed a strong bond over time, without it being preordained? Like, even if they do not all actively stay with their mate, given how disproportionate mates are among the general population, what's the likelihood 6 members of the inner circle (including lucien) have mates?

My advice? Read this book if you love nessian and the acotar world in general, but don't expect the world building to be consistent with greater fantasy series'. This style of story is obviously what to expect. She writes what she likes, and if her fantasy is this - then who are we, as readers, to expect otherwise?

Final rating: 4.5 (no, i'm not objective, but objectivity does not exist if you are a real, human being, lol)

Original Characters: 5/5 (nessian/az/house wise) 1/5 (feysand - really over how they essentially take over the very end of the book - ugh, I wanted nesta's arc to be wholly separate from them) Writing style: 3.5 Cringe Scale: Low, with the exception of some dialogue. New Characters: 2 Plot: I went into it with a 2 and came out with a 4. Not in terms of complexity, but in terms of how addictive and enjoyable this reading experience was! (less)

[herotheshiro]

so i reread all of behind the desks today lol bc i was thinking abt it last night as i was going to sleep, and also fully read through the epilogue chapters which i don’t think i had done before. which means i read through all of the plot points all at once this time around. i think my thoughts for this readthrough might end up being the length of a regular post so i’m just writing up a new post instead of reblogging my old review of this manhwa. obviously spoilers for the story below the cut

again i like this manhwa mainly bc of 2 things:

i like the juxtaposition of young’s obviously manipulative language with taesung’s innocent language that also sounds suspiciously the same. obviously you know taesung has positive intentions and isn’t a controlling freak like young but it’s such an interesting way to depict the aftermath of an abusive relationship and the difference in intentions despite the same words even though in retrospect that probably wasn’t what the author was trying to do. unless... ?

sunny seo as a character!! on the surface he definitely seems to fall under the standard BL uke tropes of being clumsy and looking pretty and stuck in a love triangle as the shared obj of affection but from the very beginning you already know he’s not a pushover but he just seems like that bc he doesn’t really have or express strong opinions. a lot of BLs tend to have the shared obj of affection be like oh nooo i can’t pick bw the 2 of them... but i mean from the start sunny doesn’t want to be w young and his fear of backlash and change is what motivates his secret-keeping from taesung... also throughout the story they imply that he’s a good match for taesung who canonly likes action stuff by being someone who actually likes high-energy activities/vibes. tl;dr sunny is generally a good character who also has a lot of foreshadowing done for him to reveal aspects of his personality that contribute to the story

anyway onto my thoughts that i had during this specific readthrough

jaeyoon. anyone who read my prev review for this manhwa knows that i had beef w how they used him during the conclusion to young and sunny’s relationship. i now realize that maybe they DID actually give him a face reveal during his wedding when young and sunny split off to chat with a friend each and the friend who spoke to sunny was actually jaeyoon himself... BUT YOU GOTTA FUCKING SAY THAT!! i suspected they were the same guy bc of the hair color and them always hiding jaeyoon’s face until that “random” moment where they give this character who looks like him a face but like i was never sure... no offense to the author or anything but i think you have to put in-text that it’s jaeyoon and not assume readers will know based on your art that it’s him... there are too many side characters who show up so it’s not like we’ve ONLY seen taesung/sunny/young so far so now this 4th person who shows up has to be jaeyoon... i mean maybe other readers ID-ed it as him w no issue esp since he shows up being like ‘dude...’ when that other friend is like ‘well jaeyoon was in rehab and stuff’ but i personally think it should’ve been mentioned in-text esp since that face reveal wasn’t nearly dramatic enough to 100% capture readers’ attentions.

otherwise i think the fact that jaeyoon and taesung are similar is a great plot point. jaeyoon was clearly the only friend in that group who saw young and sunny’s relationship accurately so i’m glad sunny had at least one GOOD friend then. jaeyoon is implied to be someone who takes care of others similar to taesung (even if it’s only sunny he dotes over the most) too. other than young’s general possessiveness of sunny, them being similar also explains why young saw jaeyoon as such a threat. but yeah unfortunately i still don’t think it was handled as well as it could have been.

young’s explanation for his behavior towards sunny... i hesitate to say it was the standard “villain redemption” but tbf i think it was a good explanation for his actions even if it felt a little too clean of a conclusion (young letting go of sunny so easily and also apparently realizing and accepting how damaging he was to him). i say it’s partially redeeming bc it shows that young was kind of trapped in such a specific and damaging way of thinking abt life that it affected how he treated sunny but it’s also not really redeeming him bc like. be normal man lol you don’t have to be like that to others.

separate but related note but young’s mindgaming of taesung... when he was like oh everything abt sunny seo you like is bc of me... like DAMN that’s evil and good (writing-wise). although the thing is that young and sunny also haven’t interacted apparently for 5 years so i mean you do have to realize that by the time taesung reunites w him, sunny has developed enough of an individual personality so it’s not ALL young’s shit. 

in my last review i said i felt like i wanted more of young and sunny’s history... tbh i think they gave us enough actually. all we really need to know is that they’ve known each other for a very long time and that young manipulated sunny enough during an impressionable time (young age, college. ppl know how college can be lol) that sunny felt that young was the only one for him. i was actually surprised jaeyoon’s story/details came up so quick in the story (i think it showed up in the 1st half of the manhwa) but i think it was a good point bc the story had to move on to the middle/2nd half of sunny and taesung trying to get their relationship to work. past me was also apparently looking for this scene in the bar apparently where young explains his “reasons” to taesung lol

not really much to say this time abt the hosung x young endgame. still don’t think they should’ve done it or had hosung have unrequited feelings but whatever i guess. tbh i didn’t really realize/connect until this time around that hosung actually was in freelancing art/publishing which was why taesung had him look at sunny’s work lol... i think last time that part in the epilogue hadn’t been translated yet so i just didn’t have the room to make the connection maybs

the epilogue ending... so i actually never read the epilogue ending or at least its eng translation, and i was like hell yea at the full circle shit w sunny being like ‘oh the cherry blossom petals are falling just like when i first met taesung in the infirmary’ but then the ch kept going w taesung and sunny on the beach... idk i think ending it literally at sunny being like ‘w you i feel alive’ was such an abrupt ending... like maybe if they added another panel of them smiling at each other it could’ve been fine but if the author was running low on time i honestly think they could’ve ended it at the scene of sunny accepting his contest award

also when sunny was like ‘yeah lol all my classmates at the children’s book program also get sick all the time’.... i was like bruh this author is prob speaking from actual experience lmao

the other thing abt the ending that was a little random was the quick aside abt taesung’s mom being against their relationship... i mean it was a reference to the mom wanting taesung to get married in the main story but then they dropped it and then suddenly brought it back up again... randomly adding that taesung had a sister who was his contact w their mom... like i get it, it wraps up the loose end of his mom but wow i was uh ok random ch abt potential family conflicts. also where are sunny’s parents lol but that would’ve been too much to get into too regardless of homophobia or not lol

overall it’s still a pretty solid manhwa. stuff proceeds at a good pace and the conflicts/misunderstandings make sense. i said before it’s kinda like a love triangle but it’s really not which works w me bc i don’t like love triangles that much (they stress me out lol); it’s also good bc young is clearly toxic for sunny and it’s good that sunny knows that rather than sunny being like “oh i know he’s bad but also... hmm maybe i can overlook it”. the manhwa’s not perfect -- i still get the sense the writing could be better even if i can’t really enunciate why -- but enough details are tied together that there’s nothing major i have to extrapolate bw (like i can overlook the jooyeon mishap even though it legit threw me off the 1st time i read through). also yes i know the manhwa is based off of a game w characters essentially already established but my understanding is that the author/artist essentially had to write up a lot of the actual story themselves even if they had a general plotline provided to follow

also the final author’s note abt the author personally preferring fucked up stories... when i started rereading i was like wait isn’t this the same artist for that one manhwa where the characters look like the k!lling st@lking? mains and even if i didn’t remember i would’ve realized w that author’s note lol. i think fortunately for them that sunny isn’t an entirely “pure” character so they had enough room to make him a little more twisted.

[a-libra-writes]

Yearning - Davos x Baratheon!Reader

Requested by an anon, hope you like what I did with it! I really like this prompt, it inspired that Baratheon Sister imagine. I might write a part two or so to this fic bc i enjoyed writing this Reader ^^

Summary: Davos and Baratheon!Reader have been dancing around their feelings for years. The oncoming war finally gets them to admit it -- lots of fluff & some angst but mostly FLUFF

If you’d like your name to appear - instead of Y/N - this fantastic extension can help you do that!

He wasn’t normally a man to dwell on hindsight, but Davos should have stopped her the moment she set foot on Dragonstone. He should have known she’d be here eventually, he should have had men he trusted waiting at the shore. He didn’t think she’d barge her way in so quickly.

Well, that was his own foolishness. It had been some years since Davos had last seen his king’s younger sister, but he should have known her fiery personality wasn’t steadied in the slightest. She had Robert’s good humor, Renly’s natural magnetism, and all of Stannis’ stubbornness. The old knight had only seen them truly butt heads once, and that wasn’t over the matter of the realm.

Davos ran up the narrow, dark staircase as quick as he dared. This whole castle was a gloomy deathtrap. Just as he reached the stop step, he heard a door slamming and echoing off the walls. Even the candles seemed to flicker from the noise.

Her heels hit the floors so hard, it was a wonder they didn’t snap. Davos thought she’d run straight into him, but Y/N Baratheon stopped short. 

She was breathing hard, some of her hair had fallen out of her tidy Southern braids, and her lips were pursed together so tight he thought she might bruise them.

Davos spoke first to give her a moment to breathe. “Lady Y/N. You’re here.”

Y/N breathed in deeply and rubbed her head as if it pained her. He wouldn’t be surprised if a headache sprang on her now, and he couldn’t help but think of the way Stannis would grind his teeth. Y/N finally said, “Yes. I’m here. I know I should have come sooner.” 

“It was good ya stayed with Robert, to say goodbye. King Stannis … should have been there too.”

“Yes. He should have. He shouldn’t have run when Jon Arryn died, he should have stayed to help Lord Stark - gods, never mind what we all should have done. It’s time to take care of what’s happening now.” She tried to tuck some of her hair aside, just noticing how it was coming undone. 

Davos didn’t miss how quickly Y/N’s anger was fizzling out. All the energy to flee to Dragonstone, then argue with Stannis and come storming out was too much. Unlike the oldest Baratheon, Y/N didn’t thrive off strife. 

“I didn’t know Renly would run, Davos,” She said. “I swear I didn’t.” 

Davos couldn’t stop himself from stepping closer and touching her arm. He’d known her as long as Stannis, after all. She was there during the siege. 

“It isn’t your fault, my lady, you don’t control what a grown man does. Did Stannis say something?”

“Well … No, he’s as upset as I am, but I was there! Renly didn’t tell me anything! It was Lord Stark who told me later, and as soon as I leave here, he’s arrested -! If I stayed, I could have helped him …” 

“No, you should not have stayed,” Davos squeezed both her arms now, addressing her firmly. “It was a good thing to leave that den of snakes, Y/N. Ya couldn’t have done anything for Lord Stark.”

Under any ordinary circumstances, Davos wouldn’t think of touching the sister of his king in such a way, even if they always had been friendly. Lady Selyse would positively riot about it, he knew, and the only thing keeping him in place now was how much he hated the distress on Y/N’s sweet face. Davos wasn’t sure if any of her brothers were aware of how much she worried over them, placated them, tried to mediate between them. While she typically had a good relationship with Stannis, they’d been strained since Jon Arryn.

Davos wasn’t surprised their first meeting in months hadn’t gone well. There was still trouble on her face, but before he could say anything else, he felt her arms wrap around him.

“My lady - you shouldn’t -”

Y/N rested her head on his shoulder. “I don’t trust her.”

Davos didn’t have to ask whom Y/N was speaking of. “I knew you wouldn’t.”

“What do you think?”

It was absurd to think anyone would be hearing in these stony and cramped halls, but with the shadows and facades of dragons came an uneasiness that Davos disliked. He was a superstitious man, what sailor wasn’t, and this castle sent every hair on edge.

“Careful where you speak, my lady.”

Y/N scoffed as she pulled away from him. Davos welcomed the coolness that followed, but Y/N hadn’t let go of him completely. It didn’t seem like the time to point out impropriety, so he stuck to warning her.

“I mean it. It isn’t just her. The Queen’s men, too. And your brother…”

Y/N shook her head, but Davos wasn’t sure if she truly understood the extent of the Red Woman’s influence.

“I don’t want to talk about it. I just … I should lie down. The travelling took much out of me.” 

"Aye, that ya should, my lady. A good rest and a proper meal. You'll be able to talk to your brother easier after that. He needs you on his side, even if he doesn't realize it."

It was so relieving to see a smile return to her face, small as it was. "I missed you, Davos." 

If those sweet words and that smile weren't enough to do him in, Y/N gave him another tight hug. Davos had trouble returning it. It didn't seem right to touch her or have her so close.

"Lady Y/N - you're, ah, a princess now. I can't - it isn't proper to, ah, go around embracin' old former smugglers -"

"Oh, stop." Y/N said playfully, but she finally stepped away. Davos hoped to all the gods that the hall was dark enough for her not to see the blush he was positive he had. "A princess?"

"But if I'm not mistaken, ya were still a princess when Robert was alive."

"Little Shireen and Myrcella are princesses, but if it makes the lords think they're flattering and keeps Queen Selyse from puckering her lips at me, then fine.” 

Davos chuckled. He really had missed Y/N’s wit. It was rare to find such a vivacious woman in court, especially at the Red Keep. Her freedom as an unmarried sister of the King meant she did as she pleased, especially since Robert was not keen on marrying her, in spite of her age. He was roped into cooperation by the Lannisters, and he wanted to avoid that for Y/N. 

It was one of Robert’s few wise moves, Davos knew, and Y/N’s darling face and easy smiles meant he often forgot she was a proper lady. Pleased as he was to see her unmarried, he knew she wouldn’t stay that way with this coming war. Stannis would need to make alliances.

“No dark faces, Ser Davos,” Y/N said, always using his first name, ever since she first met him. “It’s gloomy enough around here. Will you escort me to my room? I can’t navigate this castle for anything.” 

“I will do my best, Lady Y/N. It’s still a foreign place to me.” Davos accepted the arm she so easily slipped into his. It was easy to set aside his feelings when they were entire kingdoms apart, but for the first time in years, they’d be under the same roof. 

Y/N stared at the dark wine in her goblet. Robert never tired of the stuff. She was amazed how much alcohol could fit in one man without him being sick, although sometimes the sick did come. Stannis discouraged Y/N away from Robert’s parties, but she wasn’t an impressionable little girl. She developed a distaste for drink after she’d seen the way it affected Robert’s body and temper.

Now I understand I just didn’t have a reason to drink. Y/N sourly tossed back the wine. She grimaced at how bitter it was, but the taste was quick to dull. She was sipping it at first, then drinking, and now she could gulp. Wouldn’t her dear brothers be proud?

Her self pity was rudely interrupted by a young page. “Pardon me, Princess Y/N. Ser Davos Seaworth would like to speak with you.”

Y/N glanced toward the boy. He was barely old enough to tie his tunic, but it was better than the ambitious minor ladies who wanted to be her handmaidens. Y/N refused to take on any here, especially if they were speaking that Azor Ahai nonsense. This boy was clumsy, but honest. 

“Let him in, dear. You can leave me for the rest of the evening.”

Davos entered her large war tent - a novelty for Y/N - dressed simpler than the page. They watched the boy fumble with closing the tent flap before leaving.

“Wouldn’t ya prefer a handmaiden?” Davos asked.

“No, thank you.” Y/N wondered when her cup got so empty. She was certain she was more than tipsy, so she pushed it aside. Even if she loved his visits, she’d rather not have Davos see her like this. He sat down next to her at the table and took her hand, and gods damn it all, she loved how warm it was.

It used to pain her how clueless she thought he was, but now Y/N was sure he was purposefully rebuffing her. The stark difference in status, the age gap, the matter of Stannis - whatever the excuse was, it just made Y/N’s mood even more gloomy.

“My lady, yer bein’ hard on yerself again. Ya had to know Renly wouldn’t listen. If he was reasonable, ya wouldn’t be here in the first place. He wouldn’t have raised this army.”

Yes, a wonderful change in subject, back to her brother’s treason. Y/N sighed and leaned on Davos, unable to find the strength to keep herself sitting upright. She rested her head on his shoulder.

He was very solid for a man of his age. This was distracting.

“I practically raised him, you know, Stannis and I. He was a babe when our parents died.”

“Aye. And it was yer kindness keepin’ him alive in the siege.”

“Damned right.” Y/N was eyeing the empty goblet and the flagon that still had wine in it. “He was always a pompous little shite in the Red Keep, but this? This isn’t a game, there are Starks in the North, Lannisters in the West and East, and now he’s …” 

She sighed heavily, and after a moment of hesitation, Davos wrapped an arm around her. Y/N could have swooned if she wasn’t about to sway. 

“Princess, he’s made his decision. I know it hurts ya, but he’s not the boy ya knew. Ya said as much when ya were in the Red Keep. He’s his own person now.”

“My name is Y/N.”

“... Aye. There was no question of that.”

Y/N always liked the way he said her name. Maybe that was how her silly crush started, when she was younger. He sounded so different than anyone she’d ever talked to before. She didn’t understand why the other lords sneered about it under their breaths. ‘Talking low’, they said. Y/N could listen to it all day.

Or all night. She thought. That felt impossible now. Her dark mood wasn’t allowing any of her usual fantasties. 

“Ya had enough of this, m’lady.” Davos untangled himself from Y/N and moved the flagon further down the table. He pointedly ignored her grumbling protests.  “It won’t make anything better or change the situation.”

Y/N easily wiggled herself under his arm, pointedly putting it back where it was around her, and rested back against his shoulder. The tent was quiet now. Even if the sound of men walking and talking outside seemed too distant. 

“I like the way you say my name,” Y/N said suddenly. “I know there’s the titles and nonsense. But like this, I don’t want ‘princess’ or ‘my lady’.” 

She felt Davos’ shoulder shift under her, and he carefully touched her wrist. It was the sort of carefulness that Y/N didn’t want - less like she was fragile, more like she was dangerous. Off-limits.

“Y/N, it’s time for ya to lie down. Get some rest.”

She hated the sudden cold that struck her when he moved away and stood up. He did take her hand again, but it was only to help keep her steady. Y/N swayed and held on tight to his hand, easily fitting it into her own. Then he took her other hand, and she felt all the fingers press against her own. It wasn’t fair. 

Y/N didn’t catch what he was saying now, too lost in her own irritable, swirling thoughts. She pressed her head against his chest, where his heart beat through his dark wool tunic. He stopped in the middle of his sentence. 

“Davos,” She said. She felt those hands squeeze her own, and she prayed they wouldn’t let go. The only reason he should let go is to hold her. She hated the idea of him leaving this tent without holding her.

“Y/N, yer upset, and ya had too much wine. Yer gonna be miserable if ya don’t sleep.”

“I’m already miserable, damn it,” Y/N retorted, her misery and self-pity finally coming to a head. She pulled away from Davos’ hands and firmly wrapped her arms around him. “My brothers are going to kill each other and I just want you to hold me.”

She heard the sigh run through Davos’ chest, straight past his quick beating heart, and finally those warm arms wrapped around her. Y/N could die happy right here. She eagerly nuzzled into his embrace, marvelling at how solid and comfortable he felt.

The leather of his gloved hand was brushing across her bare arm, and Y/N felt more drunk than ever. “Stay,” She asked, feeling selfish and stupid, more like a spoiled girl than a grown woman. “Just for a while.”

But Davos had always spoiled her and let her be selfish, and he did the same now. She felt the hesitance as he ran his fingers through her long, soft hair that had long been yanked from their fancy style. 

“Y/N,” He said, his voice so close to her ear that she shivered. “Ya know we shouldn’t. We can’t.”

Y/N finally looked up at him. She shouldn’t have. His blue eyes were always her favorite, always full of humor and affection, just for her. There was all that, but much more. A distinct feeling of desire that Y/N wanted so badly it hurt.

“I’ve always been fond of you, Davos, and that isn’t the drink talking. You know I have.” Y/N spoke softly, but she couldn’t keep her feelings from spilling out as they pleased. “And - you feel the same, don’t you?”

Davos glanced aside, but he didn’t pull away, so that was something. “You and Stannis, yer both gonna be the death of me, Y/N. How am I supposed to stay no to my king and my princess, mm?”

“I’m first,” Y/N said, and the stubbornness made him laugh. Their foreheads pressed together for just a moment, then finally, their lips met.

Y/N loved it, her head spinning with feelings instead of drink. This may have sobered her up. His beard tickled her a little, and she couldn’t help but smile at that. When Davos broke their kiss, he pressed another one on her brow.

“There’s that smile. I missed it. Ya haven’t been doin’ much smiling since this started.”

It was nice to feel like a giddy girl, even with an army of knights and warhorses surrounding them outside the tent. She touched Davos’ face and brought him closer, liking how red his cheeks were in the warmth of the candlelight. Liking that it was her that caused such a boyish blush.

Before she could pull him into another eager kiss, Davos held her wrists. “Y/N, sweet, not anymore. I have to leave soon. I wanted to check on ya before I did.”

“Leave? Where are you going so late?”

Davos hesitated. “Stannis gave me a task. Can’t say more than that. Don’t wanna get ya in the middle of it.”

Y/N had plenty of questions about that, but this was the middle of a war. She’d find out eventually, so she kissed him before he pulled away. “This little task wouldn’t have to do with your former occupation, would it?”

“Yer too clever for yer own good. I’ll come back when it’s finished. Might take most of the night. We’ll talk more about this when we’re back, Y/N. I promise.”

She embraced him tightly then, feeling more secure than she had in months. “I’ll hold you to that promise, ser knight.”

She hated how bright and clear the sky was today. The setting sun was disappearing into the sea and the gentle waves reflected it beautifully. It almost disgusted Y/N that such a breathtaking sunset was preceding a horrible battle.

Her foot tapped the grass impatiently as she waited, but he finally arrived. While most of the men boarding the boats were stubbornly wearing their steel mail, Davos kept to his simple attire. She would bet he was a powerful swimmer, even now. Y/N left her shoes in the grass as she easily scampered to his arms.

He was still nervous about giving her affection anywhere that wasn’t a closed room, but the situation meant he was willing to indulge her. The indulgence almost made Y/N afraid. She recalled back when she confessed to him, how he gave into her so easily, then disappeared in the night. Nothing but chaos followed. Did he expect to die then, and was he expecting to die now?

“That’s not the sort of look I want to leave ya with,” Davos said, trying to humor her. He kissed the crown of her head, like he did when she was very young, then her cheeks, and now her lips. He was generous with his affection and Y/N eagerly soaked it up. The war wasn’t nearly over, and it was pulling at her. 

“I apologize, I gave all my proper looks to Stannis when I told him goodbye. You know how he is when I’m upset, and I know he’ll be successful.”

“You’ve said as much.” Davos kept his arms around her, and Y/N took up her favorite spot resting against him. “Your confidence has given the men a great deal of morale, princess. Especially the ones who don’t … believe everything they’ve been told to believe.”

“I’m so glad he isn’t bringing that witch.”

Her bluntness never failed to make Davos chuckle. He was glad she gave her brother an easy goodbye. The gods knew the two of them had their share of disagreements this past month. Anytime they were in the room together, he was distinctly reminded of two stags fighting in the woods.

“It means he still listens to you. He’ll need our honesty, Y/N.” 

Like always, Y/N was soft in his arms, and he could smell the flowers she used to wash her hair with. She didn’t perfume herself, he noticed, and the floral scent came from plants and herbs she gathered herself. She had thrown herself into this war effort, and had begun to trade her silks for simpler linens, and her jewels for food. 

Standing here in the sunset, with her hair in an easy braid and a flowing white linen dress framing her body, she looked more beautiful than he could have imagined. A princess in spirit and soul. He didn’t deserve her. 

“Now you’re the one leaving me with a look,” Y/N said, holding his face and making him look at her. “The battle will be won, Davos. My brother is a fine commander, and you’re a damned fine sailor. After tonight, the Red Keep will be under our control again, and it will all be over.” 

She looked tired as she said this, but Y/N had been saying it dozens of times to lords and soldiers. For her, it wasn’t a matter if they’d succeed. It was just which battle, and she’d been sitting in on every briefing for this one.

“Aye. If the princess says it, then so it will be,” Davos felt her hair through his fingers, the ones he didn’t need to hide under a glove, wanting to remember how soft she was. That same hand trailed down her back and touched her hips, which he had to admit he loved. Leave it to an old sailor to be thinking about love and desire instead of the battle just hours away.

The sun was reflecting on her eyes, too, highlighting all the love and sweetness she had just for him. She rarely spared lords second glances, and the courting had begun in earnest. The men Stannis had gathered could practically smell the throne in his hands, and Y/N was a direct connection to that.

“Kiss me,” Y/N said suddenly, impatiently, and he eagerly obliged her. She sighed against his lips and he held her close, feeling her curves through her dress and his own tunic. 

Y/N was the one to pull away first, but she stayed teasingly close. “Once this is over, I want to marry on the beach.” 

Davos didn’t expect that. He was usually confident in his words, but Y/N had a way of challenging his wit. “Is that so? I don’t know any lords that would be comfortable marrying around sand and salt.”

“No, but I know a knight who would.” Y/N grinned. It was fun to tease Davos like this, but Y/N was a woman of her word. If she told someone she would tear down the wall of Storm’s End one brick at a time, it would be done.

That was a blessing and a curse to his poor soul. “That’s somethin’ we’ll discuss later, love.”

“I’m discussing it now.” She leaned against him, and Davos fought to keep his hands from drifting too low. “We’ve shared our feelings, so I should give you a typical reason to return home to your lady, right? All the songs say a man who has a promise in his heart comes back safe.”

“Don’t those men usually die some poetic death? I don’t plan on that…”

“I agree, death is absolutely forbidden. You’ll be brought before your princess and punished for such a crime.”

“I think the King will have strong words for me, first.”

Y/N huffed. “Stannis can wait his turn.”

Her pouting turned to a delighted squeal as Davos lifted her up, feeling unusually youthful when he should have been facing the next few hours with a sullen determination. He carried her to the fallen tree she had made herself comfortable on before he arrived. 

Y/N eagerly pulled him back to her, all but crawling into his lap. “When’s the last time you were at King’s Landing, ser knight?”

“It’s been some years. Saw enough of it as a boy.” He was comfortable running his ruined hand up her leg, knowing it wouldn’t upset her. 

“You should show me where you grew up.”

“I’ll walk ya to Flea Bottom an’ point out a shack. It’ll be close enough.”

Her little laugh turned to a sigh as his hand went further up her dress. With little shame, Y/N straddled his lap. She peppered him with kisses as she said, “I want you back to me as soon as possible, Davos. I don’t care what state you’re in.” 

“Aye, love, I hear ya.” He kissed her neck, pulling a heavy sigh from Y/N as his rough lips and beard brushed against her skin. “I will.”

“Good.” She tossed some of her hair so he could get at her collarbone, and she was more than delighted when he did. The gods gave and took, Maester Cressen told her when she was a girl. It was not the place of humans to question that.

Y/N often questioned anyway, wondering why the gods delighted in taking what they pleased from her. Her parents, her brothers. Myrcella may have been far away, but Tommen would not be spared in the siege. At least, finally, they seemed content to give her this happiness, this love. She’d hold him tight while she had him.

[isadcrajade]

💀 * [ barbie ferreira + cis female + she/her ] —— have you met isadora oliveira ? they are a twenty-one year old sophomore currently studying fashion design & merchandising. they live on keating house, and word around campus is that this aries is loyal + warm, as well as self-objectifying + obsequious. i wonder if they’ll make it out alive. chocolate covered strawberries, gothic platforms, lingerie under leather jackets.

hiii bbies it’s me (gabby) finally here again to post this finalized, messy version of isa’s intro! she’s a brand new never-been-played muse of mine so it’s def bound to be a bit more scattered & less developed than ezra’s, but also much shorter? so i mean there’s a bonus lmao alright here we go:

so isadora (also known by many nicknames such as isa, izzy, iz, & dora the explora if ur trying to piss her off vgbjhksjs) was definitely not brought up in a world of prestige and recognition like the one she’s become so accustomed to in attending holloway university

growing up in the small town of lisbon, maine the only reality isa knew during her childhood was that of living as the only child of a woman who was (TW) both a compulsive liar & and compulsive hoarder. their house was floor to ceiling with things her mom collected as well as garbage built up over time- her condition had already driven isa’s father out of the house when she was just three years old, and she never had a relationship with him as a result

she was still fairly young when she realized the true severity of her own situation, just how abnormal it was compared to that of her friends. she missed out on so many rights of passage during her upbringing like birthday parties, sleepovers, etc. for much of her life her own living space / bedroom were just as bad off as the rest of the house, given her mom’s inability to keep from passing her hoarding tendencies onto her daughter. isa simply didn’t know any better at the time. to her, that was normal.

not only was her mom a compulsive liar & hoarder but she was also extremely neglectful, often leaving isa to her own devices in the dangerous environment they called home. as a result of this she (TW ED) developed harmful coping mechanisms surrounding food, regularly overeating to combat negative feelings of loneliness, and this went on from the time she was just a little girl all the way until she was in high school

high school was rough in many ways- she suffered depression, anxiety, experienced bullying at the hands of the more popular kids for her weight & her mother’s financial situation, and was all around extremely isolated from her peers- the only person she really had to depend on was her cousin (WC) . she had so much respect and envy for her cousin, they had more of a sisterly dynamic than anything, she was just so gorgeous and everything she did just seemed so effortless, to the point isa couldn’t help but idolize her and consider her a best friend. 

like, remember when spongebob said he hoped that by being in squidward’s presence some of his artistic ability would rub off onto him? that was deadass isa & (WC) in high school jhbksnjs my girl was so sure if she just spent enough time with her she’d inherit some of her pretty & cool

high school was also where she reached a turning point when it came to her home environment, able to put a name to her mom’s condition after years of struggling with her strained and toxic relationship with her mom, and ultimately changed the rest of her life. she stayed the night at (WC’s) one night and after she fell asleep, isa stayed up watching TLC- it was there that she first discovered the TV show ‘hoarding: buried alive’ and realized there was a name for her mother’s infliction- but more importantly, learned that there was help available for her condition

when she went home to excitedly tell her mother that she’d basically discovered a cure, a means to change everything for them... she certainly hadn’t been expecting the reaction that came: her mom, who’d always been so indifferent toward her, so lethargic and uninterested in what she had to say, was suddenly listening very clearly- and she was not happy. isa had never heard her mom scream like that, had never really heard her express any heightened emotion, but it was in that moment at 17 years old, just a few weeks away from her 18th birthday, that she realized what she needed to do. she had no choice but to make plans to leave her mom behind.

the final weeks leading up to the big day she was counting on as a turning point consisted of her cleaning out her own space, little by little, enough that she had somewhere to set up her secondhand laptop and webcam. blowing out the candles on her 18th birthday cake came with wishing for a whole new life, and she was determined to make that for herself by any means necessary.

(TW SEX WORK) isa spent half her 18th year in her room working as a successful camgirl, showing everything but her face, & of course always being careful not to dox herself. she eventually earned enough money to start buying herself nicer clothes, but it didn’t take her long to realize she wanted more from life than just rotting away in her hometown. she bought herself a higher quality webcam to keep making money... and a nice sewing machine, something she’d always dreamed of owning. 

all her life she’d been drawing and sketching as a means of escapism, it’d always been therapeutic to her to be creative and conjure up unique designs for outfits in her mind, drawing models in all shapes and sizes to represent her fantasy outfits. but she never felt like a visionary, even though anyone with an eye for fashion who got a look at her work could see that she had the natural talent and potential to be. 

isa had been an a straight-A student her whole life despite having almost no support at home from her mother growing up, and with plenty of encouragement from (cousin WC), she plucked up the courage and applied for holloway university, with ivory falls being far enough from her hometown of lisbon, but still in the same state so that she could go and see her mother from time to time (bc although their relationship is quite strained now, she still loves and worries about her)

the next summer she received her acceptance letter at holloway u for the coming fall semester, and the fact that she’d been able to make it into such a prestigious school made her feel so proud of herself that she completely underwent a massive arc of character development; evolving into someone so much more confident. realizing that plenty of people found her desirable as she continued to earn money through cam shows had been part of that transformation, but realizing she was talented enough to get accepted into the fashion design and merchandising program at her dream school had a completely different effect on her. 

( TW BODY IMAGE ISSUES ) isa decided that as she entered college, she was no longer going to be the meek, insecure girl constantly playing the role of the doting, loyal fat best friend to the ‘prettier main characters’ she’d always been sidekick to- she told herself that she was the main fucking character in her life from here on, and has spent her entire college experience up to this point just,, navigating as she figures out what that really means to her

still has a terrible underlying tendency to be overly-loyal and a bit obsessive with girls she closely befriends, if she has any kind of jealousy towards them. but ! is a lot more confident than she used to be, and it shows in the way she dresses and carries herself, as well as in her long-term goals (to transfer to FIDM for her final years of university)

( TW ED MENTION ) as a young adult, she’s mostly she’s replaced the compulsion to deal with her body image issues by using food to cope that she had as a teenager... by using sex to cope instead, so she’s definitely a bit promiscuous but does her best to keep that Her Own business 

personality-wise she has a massive heart & is loyal to a fault but is also wild AF & loves a good time! never rly dabbled in drugs until she got to college but since then has acquired an interest in trying everything under the sun, even if it’s just one and done. mostly though she just likes to get really drunk & stupid. used to feel like she was constantly living in her cousin’s shadow, & in some ways she still does, but she’s trying hard to make herself believe that she’s reached a place where she won’t be playing second fiddle to anyone, ever again

i’m gonna shut the hell up now & stop pretending i know this character better than i do bc i deadass do not jbhnjss like she’s literally brand new so lemme go head & leave plenty of room for development!

same story as ezra i’ll have a full connections page posted for her soon but in the meantime some ideas i have are: friends, frienemies, ex friends, high school bullies, classmates, old high school friends, people she gets fuckt up with on the reg, people she hooks up with on the reg (any gender, she’s bisexual / biromantic), someone she had a crush on in high school / has pined for from afar maybe?? someone who used to watch her cam shows?? someone she almost kinda dated but Not? someone who she hooked up with while they were dating someone else?? idk that’s what i have for now but there’ll be more where that came from <3 xoxo like this or hmu !