#i choked up for real.
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The more I think about Wildmender the more I grow invested in it. It's a fascinating interpretation of terra nil and solarpunk since so often the genre is fundamentally rooted in settler-colonialist philosophy, and even games which are intended to be the opposite of that--terra nil comes to mind as the obvious one--just end up actually revealing a different side of the factorio problem, because terra nil is an incredible impersonal restoration of ecological systems. Terra Nil acknowledges climate destruction on a global catastrophic scale and it accepts the responsibility to fix that, but it isn't shown as a human act, nor does it really allow itself the realism of just how terrifyingly impossible the task is to try and literally fix the entire world. Its game structure is supposed to be the anti-factorio but its puzzle structures focusing on efficiency and robotic engineering patterns of rewilding end up feeling more like a dialogue than an inversion. It's trying to say that the idea of humanity as fundamentally destructive is wrong while it doesn't actually ever address the human element.
And then there's fucking Wildmender. A game where you are a single human child in a world of endless wasteland and death, where the only other things are ghosts who remember a halcyon era and the hubris that ended it, wraiths which are consumed by their own greed and destruction of the land for their cursed immortality, and a couple god statues. The entire map is just ceaseless grief, filled with the literal dessicated remains of all the biodiversity that came before the countless disasters. And it's a big fucking map.
And then...the game gives you a shovel and a sickle and a mirror that shows the wraiths what twisted reflections they've become.
And the game says, "The entire world is waiting to be better, and the only way to do that is by doing it yourself, long and hard and hopeless as it seems."
I cannot emphasize enough how overwhelming the task you're handed. There is not a single speck of life left in the world. You are given a shovel and a water bottle and just...expected to do something about it. To look at the literal endless wastes and think you can heal it.
This is what Wildmender cherishes that Terra Nil denies: This is an impossible task for you alone. But it has to be done...and you can actually do it. The way you can turn sand into soil and dig irrigation channels is beautiful. Every single scrap of land that you reclaim is something you had to do on purpose. You had to do it yourself. You had to actively choose how to do it.
And the game makes the reward of even just getting a bit more water into the sand feel like victory. Your starting oasis turns from soil into lush and beautiful meadows--sure, technically instantaneously by doing magic on a specific type of plant. But it took me 4-5 hours before I got there. You have to travel so far into the desert to learn how to grow grass again, and then you realize that this endless hostile wasteland is a fraction of the map you're given. And you look at this sudden profusion of meadowy grassland surrounding your spring and despite how sudden it feels you remember how big the world is. You made more progress in a minute than you did in 5 hours and it's not even a speck on the map. How the fuck is this gonna happen?
And the answer is by accepting that it's going to take a long fucking time and a lot of hard work.
That's how it's gonna happen. Get to work.
#i have Opinions on the concept of desert as fundamentally empty and devoid of life as a SW native#but honestly the game handles the baggage really beautifully in ways i adore#it makes this impossible task youre handed not merely meaningful but also empowering#because it never does shy away from what its demanding of you it makes you earn every fucking inch#but like. when my first oak tree gave me my first harvest of acorns?#acorns i could use to bring the ghosts of more old oaks back to life?#the feelings i felt knowing that this little oak grove was a major first step in turning the endless translucent corpses filling the land#oh man#i choked up for real.#anyway. buy wildmender :)#and if for some reason youre having serious performance issues for no fucking reason when you first install#getting a refund and then rebuying the game somehow completely solved it for me. so uh. theres one solution maybe?#OH RIGHT#my writing#my essay#my essays#wildmender
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Honey, just put your sweet lips on my lips
#inspired by the many many fics of them softly kissing#bagginshield#bilbo baggins#thorin oakenshield#heartselect#thilbo#the hobbit#i've had these sketches for a while i thought id clean a bit and color as a pick me up#look at them theyre in love#like real people do has me on choke hold its so#my art#lotr
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are you going to strangle me next?
#pose is referenced from a vintage ad#anyway can we please talk about this line. for a split second 4rthur thought about d*tch choking him out till he went limp#but if I bring that up I'm the weird one... OK...#the vandermorgan trauma bond is completely real. its in the game its the backbone of their every interaction it explains everything#its RIGHT THERE why is no one tapping into their dynamic. why do I have to do everything myself#vandermorgan#rdr2#my art
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keep reaching out
#doodle#crappy art#bnha#furry deku :/#mha 430#mha spoilers#spoilers#in a wild twist the real hero academia WAS the friends we made along the way#he was so loved ;___; man i need a moment#also deku's autism wasn't lost in the war!!! he made a full recovery!!!#anyways one layer doodle#just had to get out my emotions#i keep getting choked up thinking about it#the miyazawa kenji poem influence is so obvious in the end... i love it.#it was never about ego for him. it was only ever about helping#it's so beautiful man... what a beautiful ending...
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Good evening, QSMP was a Sociological Study Conducted by Harvard University
#jaiden getting geniunely choked up after seeing bobby safe again#phil comparing the heart-dropping feeling of seeing chayanne and tallulah die to losing his 5 year hardcore world#and let's not even talk about the audience#these are PIXEL EGGS#this is unethical human experimentation#how does one get so attached i did not expect this when they introduced the eggs LMAO#also#wilbur getting made fun of by his bandmates for constantly talking about tallulah😭#never let quackity to run a server again it's getting too real#qsmp#quackity#qsmp spoilers
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my controversial (?) opinion is that I am not opposed to objectifying men I just wish the Nightwing butt thing wasn’t so corny
#I am not opposed to seeing a little bit of ass but must we be so annoying about it?#I always point to task force z as an example of how to objectify your male main character without being annoying by drawing too#much attention to it. They had Jason naked for no reason…strung up and choking out dudes with thighs…that Robin costume#like I Know what you’re doing. I see it and appreciate it 🫡. God that shit is so funny to look back on they had him doing the entire final#fight in a Tshirt and boxers they’re so real for that#Dc
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Putting your hand in his hair and slowly dragging it down to his jaw to rest it there QGHSHHS— I will kms
#will graham#i want him#so bad#i will eat him#he is chewable#bite him#AHHH#he is so beautiful#i will choke#i will cry#i will never recover#WHY GOD WHY#why isnt he real#hannibal nbc#hannibal#hannigram#muah <3#love yall#live laugh love#hugh dancy#screaming#screaming crying throwing up#breakdown#frfr#my husband#my pookie
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genuinely don't understand people who gripe about someone getting into dunmesh for m/m pairings as opposed to f/f when none of them are even close to being the main point of the series
#dungeon meshi#fandom wank#cringe! cringe! none of us are free of cringe!#yall i ... i dont know how to say this but#falin and marcille aren't a canonically romantic pairing#like there's good shit there and i happily invite you to spam my inbox on why it fucks so great as a ship#but it's not canon#and it's not even the focus of the series as a whole#gosh i feel like im saying santa isn't real#the absolute psychic damage ive been taking from these takes i stg#calling laios an “irrelevant male character”#the main character ...#insisting that every single interaction between the men in the series is underbaked and boring#do they think the concept of narrative foils was made up by fujoshis to peddle yaoi propaganda#do they think ryoko kui can't write#allow us a moment to appreciate the irony of accusing m/m shippers of tunnel visioning on one pairing and discarding the rest#that's how you know dunmesh is progressive media because the yuri shippers get to be just as obnoxious as the yaoi shippers lmao#if there's any One Relationship i would consider The Relationship it's laios and marcille since they experience the most growth#and it could not be a more obviously platonic one#yall had better not be saying you ship farcille just for clout!!#you ship it because you want to see marcille choke on falin's monster cock like a normal person
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youtube
"chris and i were very careful and very judicious in the way we interacted physically" yeah yeah yeah
#see also:#"chris and i...benson and stabler...at the end of the day its all the same”#listen i try not to comment a lot on it because these are real people but this relationship is so genuinely moving#there are many kinds of love stories#and this is one!#how the both of them get choked up just talking about this scene#how she cannot even talk about this relationship without crying#anyways ill be busy thinking about this#p.s do fault next#them <3
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"why is my fave actor still in a dumb franchise 😢" there's this lil important thing called CONTRACT LAW where, if you are 22 and you sign up to do say 11 movies in a franchise (*cough* Sebastian Stan), but the contract doesn't say when those movies will release....you could still be stuck in that franchise into your 50's
"oh, they really love the franchise that's why they're still in it 🤡" could be, or could be they signed their life away to it and have little choice. if they rely on the franchise for their income---a number which can go up or down---they better not talk trash
"why would such a good actor pick such a stinker film???"
they read an amazing script, signed up to be in the film, but NO LAW says the studio cannot completely change the script, their character, and everything else about the movie after they've signed
they heard that an actor/director they like will be in it, or were directly asked to join by someone on the project they respect
they genuinely need the paycheck (which CAN be protected by law) the same way other people work at McDonald's
they wanted to try something new (some actors do get bored, guys)
they prefer indies where the managers are dedicated to the craft not the box office lottery
shockingly, their every move is NOT dictated by strangers on the internet, aka fans
#sebastian stan#chris evans#tagging them specifically cuz of that one ignoramus being cross posted from twitter#seb stan signed an 11 film contract back in 2009#it is 2025 and he has completed roughly 6 marvel films#i heard that cameos and after credits scenes don't count#i think he agreed to the tv show bc they said it could count as one of his required films#he legit said “dialling it in” about his portrayal in that show#chris evans meanwhile has always and will always do whatever feels fun to him#he has stated multiple times he is more concerned with real life and spirituality than fiction#and clearly wants to make an impact on society that isn't as a Hollywood pretty boy#yet all fans see is a Hollywood pretty boy yo shut up i hate his fanbase#how toxic yall got when he finally tied the knot#that boy been openly aching to marry and have kids for years#and every time he fell in love fans would ROAST her so hard online and sexualize him like he existed for them#y'all can choke#same goes for the slurs on sebstans last girlfriend(s)
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I will make your weird masochist friend call you a tsundere and beg for you to hit him
#read the tags#this is entirely my own fault#i am very aggressive and use threats in real life just like i do on here#and to be fair i kept doing it after i found out because i crave chaos#i mean the whole situation is objectively really fucking funny so here we are#tw kink mention#figured I'd better mention that just in case#adam if you did decide to make a tumblr and follow me then uhhhh#sorry lol#i'm threatening people with you now because that's just how it goes#mod lore#(i feel so weird typing that but also i think it's an objectively funny tag)#(haha. i have lore.)#lizzy is going to see this and laugh at me#my friends know about this blog if they ever check it I'm never gonna hear the end of this one#because of the tags not because of the post itself#like to be fair i did once choke him to make him shut up. in hindsight i have no idea why i thought that was a good idea
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Ok couple things I want opinions on:
- do I venture out to the art store I've never been to today and see if they have panel boards and maybe some nicer equipment than just the regular hobby store even though it's above freezing today after a full day of snow. I have to go to the grocery store regardless so I have to go out in the ice but the grocery store is much closer than the art store. I have spikes for my boots
- guy off an app who described himself as a pleasure dom and who keeps sending me crunchy jpegs of like I WANNA MAKE YOU WHIMPER WHILE WE WATCH HORROR MOVIES TOGETHER on snap wants to meet me tonight and I genuinely cannot be bothered. Tempted to just block him out of the blue and not have to deal w it anymore but iono. I think I already know the answer to this one just needed to throw it out there
#theres another sensitive quiet one im talking to that wants to meet up maybe next week#and id much rather do that than deal w a ski resort bartender pretending to choke me like a real tuff guy#when i could be HOME cooking something nutritious and catching up on sleep
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…
#I had a dream about the handsome chubby straight dad from work#I was working alone and he came into the store right when I was about to close#which he’s done a couple times in real life and I’m always more than happy to let him stay even though it’s after hours#but anyway in the dream he came in and I walked up and reached out to shake his hand#then he grabbed my hand and held onto it and pushed me up against a wall#his entire body was pressed up against me and he had one leg pressed between mine and I could feel his bulge on my hip#he held my hands up above my head and looked down at me and said ‘‘this is what you want right? I’ve seen how you look at me”#I barely managed to choke out a ‘‘yes sir”#he said ‘‘I used to do this all the time. had an overnight bag for any situations that might come up just in case’’#he said that his wife knew what he was doing and that the one time he’d brought her in was so she could meet me and approve of me#‘‘I’m sorry if I misread but I think you want this as much as I do”#he was so handsome and big and feeling his body against mine while he had me pushed up against the wall was just asdfghjkllkl#fuuuuuuck#I woke up so fucking hard y’all#just absolutely bricked up and throbbing#anyway I promise I’m being completely normal about this dream#me#personal as hell#lubbock texas#we've always been around
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PLAY ON THE PLAYGROUND TOGETHER...........................
#GUH............................................................. i get so jkhsdfg choked up about this one#it just is it just simply is. real ass closeted teen gay romance#and also. nishimura's the best friend ever. im gonna lose my minddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd#its so well done..................................#natsumanime
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Looking at the weather forecast and I imagine next week will be mostly pendulum-ing between the poles of "if I don't have at least one window open I get claustrophobic and dust-allergy-asphyxiated and Die" and "it is 18 degrees Fahrenheit outside"
#The dust thing is real if I don't have air flow my asthma gets like dangerously bad very fast#I literally wake up in the night choking if I don't keep a window open
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It's less than a month that I start having suicidal thoughts on top of depressing ones when I'm really tired including after the weekly yoga class but it could mean anything right haha right?
#I know I need therapy but the mere thought of having to beg for the money and then be punished for needing it in the first place...#I feel like choking and throwing up at the same time ngl#ghali was right all along‚ non mi sento tanto bene for real for real#obviously non si molla un cazzo etc etc#but still#feels like pure shite ngl#personal
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