#and every time he fell in love fans would ROAST her so hard online and sexualize him like he existed for them

[doesnotloveyou]

"why is my fave actor still in a dumb franchise 😢" there's this lil important thing called CONTRACT LAW where, if you are 22 and you sign up to do say 11 movies in a franchise (*cough* Sebastian Stan), but the contract doesn't say when those movies will release....you could still be stuck in that franchise into your 50's

"oh, they really love the franchise that's why they're still in it 🤡" could be, or could be they signed their life away to it and have little choice. if they rely on the franchise for their income---a number which can go up or down---they better not talk trash

"why would such a good actor pick such a stinker film???"

they read an amazing script, signed up to be in the film, but NO LAW says the studio cannot completely change the script, their character, and everything else about the movie after they've signed

they heard that an actor/director they like will be in it, or were directly asked to join by someone on the project they respect

they genuinely need the paycheck (which CAN be protected by law) the same way other people work at McDonald's

they wanted to try something new (some actors do get bored, guys)

they prefer indies where the managers are dedicated to the craft not the box office lottery

shockingly, their every move is NOT dictated by strangers on the internet, aka fans

[polkadotsunshine]

Dr. Pepper

I sort of like soda. If it’s in front of me I’ll drink it but mostly I just have water. I sort of like 7 Up more than I like any other soda in the same way that I sort of like red M&Ms more than any other color. Here’s the thing: nobody “sort of” likes Dr. Pepper. Its strong flavor cleanly Donnie Darko divides the world into lovers and haters. You are either a die-hard Dr. Pepper fan or you can’t stand the taste.

On my first full day on a vacation to Texas, I was explaining this school of thought as we bought groceries for the rest of my stay. As I elaborated, my host stopped dead in his tracks, looked me in the eyes, and said, “Well, you’ve never had to drink nothing but Dr. Pepper for 12 days straight.” I could sense this trauma had not yet healed so I didn’t ask what he meant. 

In this silence, he leaned over to the shelf beside him and, with the biggest smile I have ever seen him have, he pulled out two massive three liter bottles of Diet Dr. Pepper. I had never seen a three liter bottle of anything before. He noticed my shock and held them up to a two liter bottle on the shelves. “You don’t have this kind of thing up north.” He was right. With a slight flourish he dumped them into our shopping cart. You don’t make room for that kind of thing in your cart. Everything else makes room for it.

The gears in my head fell into place. Thoughts with this amount of torque change a person. I asked my host to mentor me in the ways of Dr. Pepper; I too wanted to drink nothing but Dr. Pepper for days on end. With childish optimism, I thought that maybe, just maybe, I could cross the infinite divide between hate and love. My host accepted my request. In his wisdom, he picked out a 12 pack of Dr. Pepper & Cream Soda Zero Sugar cans. 

On the first night, I was still jet lagged and turned down every suggestion of night time activities. I didn’t want to roast marshmallows or play board games or watch a movie. With our options exhausted, my mentor at last suggested, “Well do you at least want some Dr. Pepper?” I did. 

I had to literally roll the bottle out from the back of the fridge because the three liter monstrosity could not fit in even the fanciest of Texas sized fridges. Then, I poured myself a glass and retired to my quarters. I lay awake as a terrible stomach pain overwhelmed me.

I consulted an online network of supplementary Dr. Pepper mentors to see if this could be a symptom of my transition to Pepperhood. One scholar replied, “Let the doctor work.” I downed the rest of my glass and fell asleep. When I woke up, I at once understood the advice. 

The previous day, in my hubris, I had eaten a downright vile volume of queso for lunch, despite my lactose intolerance. As previously described, I sort of like soda and will drink it if it’s set out in front of me. Well, I really like queso. Imagine the visceral things I do when something I like is set out in front of me. 

My friends unknowingly organized my funeral when they ordered, without my input, a heaping bowl of queso topped with chorizo, pico de gallo, and guacamole. A cheese induced brain fog had obscured this memory and convinced me that Dr. Pepper could be at fault. I would not blame her again. 

As many non-American home remedies claim, a good swig of toxic US soda will counteract the toxins of sickness and flood them out. Well, buddy, Dr. Pepper has 23 flavors to besiege the comparative 1 of lactose. Throughout my entire second day, my body ejected an uncountably infinite mass of cheesy hell. Up against the overindulgent Texas queso, Dr. Pepper’s toxins waged the American Civil War inside my stomach, in a thrilling prequel to the inevitable police state of Osmosis Jones. 

On the third day, I was cured. That night when we went out for dinner, in the name of stomach Reconstruction, I ordered, “Just water.” I now have philosophical proof that God exists because my water came in a crimson frosted plastic cup bearing the Dr. Pepper logo. The water tasted sweet. When we got home, I celebrated with a can of the cream flavored Dr. Pepper. I liked it a lot more than the Diet Dr. Pepper variant. At that exact moment, I was hooked on Pepper fever.

On the fourth day, I suffered a painful hunger because, to put it bluntly, all the food around the house sucked. I didn’t want to eat. Yet, Dr. Pepper provided. As a non-soda drinker, I shockingly learned that a simple can could fill you up. I leveraged this ability for the remainder of my trip. Dr. Pepper blessed me with a new experience of life; for the first time outside of a buffet, I felt full when eating dinner. On the fifth day, I understood how to use Dr. Pepper’s caffeine to fix my sleep. On the sixth day, I became at peace with its flavor. And so it was that on my seventh and final full day in Texas, I rested. And it was good.

On my trip back to New York, I felt a familiar stomach pain while boarding my airplane. I had eaten two cheesy tacos from “Buc-ees” for breakfast. Despite the relatively small amount of cheese in those tacos compared to the queso one week earlier, the poor quality of the food amplified its severity. Though “Buc-ees” sold merchandise of its mascot, was several times larger than my local grocery store, and was generally hostile to poor people, it was still a gas station with gas station food. My position as a polite prisoner in a plane with 100 other people only made the situation worse. I knew what I had to do.

I asked the flight attendant for Dr. Pepper. It calmed me long enough for my stomach to process the food. At last, I entered the airplane bathroom and blasted the last remains of Texas out of my body. I know with spiritual clarity that I flushed that toilet at the exact moment the plane crossed the Mason-Dixon line. The war was over. The boys, now men, were coming home. 

I love Dr. Pepper. 

Dr. Pepper is a warrior, a friend, and to be completely honest, tastes kinda bad.

[mamabearcatfanfics]

More Than Words - One

“Please, please, please, please, please Kagome!”

She looked up from her laptop to roll her eyes at the dark haired man leaning over her desk, his violet eyes beseeching, hands together as if in prayer.

“You would think by now Miroku, that you of all people would know that when a lady says no, she means no”, she said dryly, dropping her attention back to the computer screen in front of her. It was boring work, but if everything wasn’t just so, the tender documents could be rejected, and she really didn’t want to open that can of worms with her project manager.

“But Kagome”, he continued pleading. “She’s amazing, gorgeous, an angel!” His eyes misted over as he gazed off into the middle distance. “I think it’s her. I think I’ve finally found the love of my life.” Kagome snorted, and his eyes flicked back to hers. “You don’t believe me?” he said with a wounded expression.

“Miroku”, Kagome sighed, “you probably spoke to her for a maximum of what, two minutes, tops? And that was to order coffee. How is this girl any different from the temp secretary you took out on a date after the office Christmas party three weeks ago? Or that girl you abandoned me for last Friday night when we went out to karaoke? I’m not going to hound some poor woman minding her own business into giving you her number just because you have the unfortunate habit of falling for every pretty face you see!”

Miroku shook his head. “No, you don’t understand. This was different. When my fingers touched hers, it was, like, I don’t know, a spiritual connection.” He sighed, leaning against Kagome’s desk, his hand over his heart. “She owns me, body and soul.”

“Oh my god Miroku,” Kagome chortled, pushing his hip off her desk. “If you were any cheesier I’d need to run out and buy wine and crackers! You do realise that you sound like someone out of one of those trashy romance movies on daytime TV? Next you’ll be writing sonnets and saying you were struck by Cupid’s arrow.” She got up from her desk to move over to the filing cabinet, rifling through the files. “I still don’t see why I need to be involved anyway - just ask her for her number herself if you’re so desperate!”

Miroku sighed, hanging his head despondently. “I’ve been banned. By her guard dog.” Kagome looked at him questioningly. “The barista.”

“You got banned from a café by the barista? What on earth did you do!?” She held up her hands, the file in them covering her view of Miroku as he opened his mouth to explain. “No, don’t tell me, on second thoughts, I don’t want to know!”

“Kagome, I’m begging you! Just talk to her. If she doesn’t want to give her number to me, I’ll admit defeat. I just need to know! What if I did all your filing for the next week?”

Kagome shook her head. “No way! I’ve only just got all my files back in order from when you meddled with my stuff when I was on leave.”

“I’ll walk your dog.”

“I have a cat.”

“I’ll do your tax return for you.”

“I’d like to stay out of prison, thanks very much.”

“I’ll, I’ll… “ Miroku looked around the office, as if searching for inspiration, his eyes alighting on Kagome’s much loved pink coffee cup, sitting empty and forlorn on her desk. “I’ll buy you coffee for the next month!”

Kagome stared him. “You’re offering to buy me coffee for a whole month?” He nodded. “And this is whether she gives me her number or not?” Miroku nodded again. Kagome bumped the filing cabinet drawer shut with her hip, then placed the folders on her desk, turning back to him with a gleeful expression on her face.

Miroku’s face fell when he realised exactly how much that this might cost him in monetary terms. Kagome loved her coffee; she was rarely seen without her favourite coffee mug in her hand. And she did a lot of overtime, often working back late at the office, weekends too when a tender was due.

Kagome grinned even wider and slapped him on the shoulder. “Miroku, my lovestruck friend, you’ve got yourself a deal!”

 ☕💘☕

 Kagome walked towards the tiny hole in the wall coffee shop a few blocks away from the office. It was literally only a door and a window wide, the exterior painted in matte black, with a white awning shading the customers waiting outside in the hot Australian summer sun. The business name adorned the glass window, a simple red circle with black text in a strong block font - Black Dog Coffee.

There was a line of people heading out the door waiting patiently, some chatting quietly, but most looking down at their phones. As she got further forward in the line, she was amused to notice that everyone followed the same pattern – a step towards the woman taking orders, stating their name and order and paying, then two steps to the left while they waited for their coffee. The woman at the cash register didn’t take another order until the first one had been filled, yet no one complained. That was kind of odd, but the line was moving fairly swiftly, so she guessed it worked, even though it wasn’t how cafés usually took their coffee orders. It was hard to see what was going on from her position in the line, stuck behind a tall guy in a business suit. She decided to look up reviews for the coffee shop online while she was waiting.

‘This coffee is the absolute bomb, but don’t piss off the barista!’

‘Was recommended to me by a friend. Coffee is amazing.’

‘Kinda weird. They only sell coffee, roast their own beans I think. The barista is something else!’

‘Would wait in line all day for this coffee!!’

‘Worst experience ever. Got BANNED because I tried to order more than five things. And they have no food, just coffee. WTF! Pretty sure the barista was in the yakuza – that guy has tatts for days! 0/10 would recommend.’

‘Follow the ordering protocol and you’ll be sweet – best coffee in the downtown financial district.’

‘OMG – best coffee EVER! I’m now a daily customer.’

Hmmm. She tried to peer around the tall guy in front of her, but she couldn’t see anything; the afternoon sun was reflecting off the glass covered office building nearby, getting in her eyes and making her squint. She fanned her face with her hand. Man it was hot. You could fry an egg out here on the cement. She hoped the coffee was worth the freckles she was probably getting on her nose right now. The tall guy stepped forward to make his order, and she caught a glimpse of the woman behind the cash register.  

Long glossy brown hair with thick bangs, and a bright smile. Her brown eyes, highlighted by bright pink eyeshadow, sparkled with warmth; she was giving her total attention to the current person she was engaging with. She wasn’t much taller than Kagome herself and the tight black t-shirt she was wearing with the name Sango embroidered on the pocket accentuated her generous curves.

Kagome sighed. Miroku was nothing if not predictable – he loved curvy ladies. But how was she going to ask for this woman’s number without causing a disruption – everyone seemed to be on board with the ordering system, and if the coffee was as good as the reviews promised there was no way she was going to get herself banned from coming back.

She glanced down to the time on her phone, and then to the opening hours printed on the tiny shop window. It was almost closing time. Maybe if she hung back for a little while and caught the woman after they’d shut up shop? She groaned internally, trying not to think of the work still waiting for her on her desk. She should have held out for two months of coffee.

The tall man stepped to the side. Crap, she needed to order.

“Good afternoon ma’am. What would you like?” The woman’s smile was wide and welcoming.

“Uh, a large latte please, no sugar”, Kagome said, holding up her credit card ready to tap payment.

“Name please?”

“Kagome. That’s K – A…”

“That’s okay, I know how to spell it.” Kagome watched with interest as the woman wrote her name on the coffee lid in curving characters. Was that hirigana? She vaguely recognised it was her name being written from the two terms of Japanese she did in high school. A grunt came from her left, and she realised with a little start that she was meant to move to one side.

She stood in front of the gleaming commercial espresso machine, eyes closing as she savoured the rich coffee aroma. It smelt amazing, rich and full. Not burnt. It was a little hard to see the barista; her view was blocked by towers of takeaway coffee cups in various sizes. But those reviews that mentioned him had made her curious now. She stepped to the side a little more. Ah, there he was.

He was taller than her - she guessed she’d come up to just above his shoulder, but then she wasn’t exactly tall herself at 5’2”. He had long dark hair, looped back in a low ponytail, with a choppy fringe and slightly longer forelocks  on either side of his face, tanned skin that was complemented by the white collarless t-shirt he wore under a denim apron. His expression as he looked downward to make the coffee was stern, but she didn’t see what he had to be so grumpy about. Maybe he was just hot? Maybe he just took his job very seriously? He moved out from behind the coffee machine and her eyes widened at the sight of his forearms, revealed by the shirt sleeves pushed up to his elbows. They were covered in tattoos from the wrist; dark sleeves of swirling black water flowing up his arms, broken only by pink and red cherry blossoms, with a hint of green and yellow. Then he looked up.

His eyes. They were hazel, for want of a better description, but such a light hazel that they almost looked golden. With the late afternoon sun behind her, lighting his face, they almost sparkled like citrine quartz. He placed the lid on her coffee, then set it down in front of her.

“Kagome.”

He’d pronounced her name right. Ka-goh-meh. She was so used to the way most Australians butchered her Japanese name, a way for her parents to honour her Japanese grandfather, that she was immune to its mispronunciation, but he’d said it just right. Just. Right. His voice was deep and a little husky. He made that small grunting noise in the back of his throat again, his strong dark brows lowering a little, and she realised in embarrassment that she was staring at him.

“Uh, yes, I’m sorry, yeah that’s me! I’m Kagome.” Idiot. Of course he knew that, it’s not like there was anyone else standing right in front of him waiting! She reached out for her coffee where he’d placed it on the edge of the counter, and then backed away, pink cheeked, as another person stepped to the side to wait for their coffee.

She moved to stand in front of the shop next door, taking out her phone for something to do while she waited for closing time, slowly sipping her coffee, which was glorious by the way. But she couldn’t give herself over fully to her enjoyment of the taste, unable to control her wandering eyes.

‘Oh my god, he’s gorgeous! I’ve never seen anyone with eyes that colour before. And that’s so much ink on his arms - that must have hurt like a bitch! I never would have picked that a guy would get cherry blossom sleeves, but they don’t look girly on him at all - the exact opposite really. I wonder if they go all the way up his arms? God, now I’m imagining him with his shirt off - bad girl, Kagome! Maybe the cherry blossoms are a cultural thing? I think he’s Japanese, and I’m pretty sure that’s my name in hirigana on the coffee lid, but I don’t want to make an assumption just based on that and his looks. I wonder what he’s thinking about? He doesn’t look unhappy or angry exactly, just… determined? Maybe he just has resting bitch face.’ She snorted a little at that thought, then sighed. ‘His movements are so graceful and fluid, it’s like watching someone do tai chi or something. Oh, he has such nice hands - strong fingers. I could watch him make coffee aaaaall day.’

She gazed dreamily, sipping at her coffee slowly, the phone in her hand forgotten. Golden eyes suddenly met hers, one eyebrow raised in a puzzled expression. ‘Oh shit, he’s looking this way. He’s noticed that I’m looking at him. Abort! Abort! Oh fuck… This is all your fault Miroku!’

She turned tail and fled, almost running back to the office. The reviews had been right. The hot coffee was amazing, but the hot barista? Yeah, he was definitely something else. She knew she would be back first thing in the morning to get another coffee. And it wasn’t just because the coffee was amazing and that he was beautiful to look at. There was something about him. She wanted to get to know him better.

Miroku was waiting for her out the front of their office building. “So, did you get it?” he asked eagerly.

“What?”

“Did you get her number. Sango’s number?”

“Uh…” Shit. She’d been so flustered when he had suddenly looked up and met her gaze that she’d turned tail and fled without remembering why she was waiting there in the first place. Damn. Heat washed across her cheeks, and she flicked her gaze away from Miroku’s.

“Our calm and collected Kagome blushing? Oh, there must be a good story behind this – do tell!”

“No story. You’ve ordered coffee from there before – I didn’t want to do anything to upset the system and get banned like you did! There just wasn’t an opportunity today – I’ll try again tomorrow.”

Miroku poked her in the ribs. “But surely that wouldn’t make you blush Kags! C’mon, spill.”

“There’s nothing to tell!” she spluttered.

Suddenly Miroku burst out laughing. “Oh ho ho, I get it. You were so busy perving at the guard dog making the coffee that you forgot what you were there for.”

“Shut. Up.”

Miroku grinned at her. “Aw, little Kagome finally got a crush on someone. Were you struck by Cupid’s arrow?” he teased, throwing the phrase she’d used before back at her with a note of triumph in his voice. Kagome squirmed under his knowing gaze, and he chuckled. “Looks like Cupid’s been pretty busy with his arrows around that coffee shop, huh?”

Kagome made a growling noise in the back of her throat, then the corners of her lips curled up in a knowing smile. She blinked at him innocently, raising her takeaway cup.

“You may be right Miroku. You may be right. And I’m thinking the best way to get to know him will be to buy coffee. Lots of coffee. I hope you’re ready to pay up, buddy!” She sipped her coffee and patted him on his suddenly slumping shoulders as she walked past him into the foyer of the building and back to her desk full of filing, savouring every last drop.

  ☕💘☕

 Inuyasha pondered as he polished the already gleaming coffee maker. Sango had just left for the day, after balancing the till, and he was doing a final clean up, ensuring everything would be ready for 7am opening.

That girl. Kagome. She’d been staring at him. Usually that made him feel intensely uncomfortable. Growing up in an orphanage had internalised that being stared at was a bad thing, because pain caused by kids much larger and stronger than him usually followed close behind. That was until he’d been there so long that he was the large and strong one, handing out punches to anyone picking on the tiny ones. But he hadn’t got that uncomfortable feeling from her when she’d stared.

He knew he was considered attractive by some people. But her looking at him hadn’t given him that slimy creepy feeling that being ogled purely for looks gave him either. She had looked at him like he was a puzzle she wanted to work out.

He tried to picture her in his mind’s eye, but all he really remembered was dark shining hair like a corvid’s wing, and very blue eyes. She’d been small too, very petite. He rolled her name around in his head, as it tugged on a memory, and he suddenly thought of the rhyming game from his childhood about a bird caught in a cage. It was fitting – her mannerisms reminded him of a little bird - a wren, with bright inquisitive eyes. And when he’d looked up at her and caught her staring, she’d flapped her wings in fright and flown away. He chuckled. He hoped she wasn’t caught in a cage of some sort. No one deserved that.

He shut off the lights to the tiny shop, and walked into the studio behind it, flopping down on his bed with his laptop, ready to spend another evening struggling through his online English class. A little orange fluffball of a kitten jumped on to his lap, trying to sit on the keys, and he pushed it off.

“Shippou! Dame!”

The kitten settled down next to his thigh, snuggling against him and purring, and he turned his attention back to the screen. It was hard, learning a language this way, but he was determined. He had escaped his own cage, and he was never going back.

☕💘☕

PART TWO

[kyurilin]

2010-2019 Or The Overly Non Dramatic Story of How Kyuri's Decade Went

Technically this isn't a part of this decade review but I'm posting this on December 24th specifically because 10 years ago today I spoke to @mist-over-water on the phone for the first time after having known her for three years and I'm pretty sure we both cried

2010

met @mist-over-water for the first time in person. Took her to the beach where she promptly got roasted by the sun. Took her to the mountains. Took her out to practice driving in a local high school parking lot because why not. I cried so hard when she had to go home and God help me I'd only known her four years at that point.

Flunked a math class for the first time. Funny enough, it was because I'd been put in the advanced math courses for years and that was the year I both had a teacher I hated and could no longer reasonably fake my way through understanding math. Don't put your kids in advanced courses unless you're certain they can keep up with it people I only really was an advanced reader.

My dog Scruffy passed away :(

Started my senior year of high school

2011

Managed to graduate high school on time despite having to take 2 whole math courses during senior year (and with @mist-over-water 's who will now be referred to as Gabby because simplicity buddies sending me 'GRADUATE' messages so I'd have the motivation to go see her in person)

Got to go to England to see Gabby which, dream come true. Had a blast. Met the two precious nieces she had, her brother who's accent I couldn't understand, her mom who is one of the sweetest people, and her grandparents who I got to watch a lot of old British gameshows with.

Saw Wicked from second row seats in London.

Saw Cars 2 three times with Gabby which is why I'm still emotionally invested in Cars 2 because boy getting to see the sequel movie to the movie that ended up allowing you to cross paths with someone you really clicked with is AN. EXPERIENCE.

Cried when I finally had to leave because I was 18 and terrified of the future and didn't know when or if I'd ever see my friend in person again.

Started at community college in the film and video program

2012

Finished my first year of community college

Wrote my first original novel that will honestly never see the light of day. It's terrible ya'll

Through circumstances I still regret started losing my friendship with Gabby and boy do I hate who I was a person during that time

Started my second year of community college

2013

Worked on the X Factor as a production assistant.

Probably around this time that Gabby and I stopped talking which was better for us at that point. Still took an emotional toll to lose a friend that I'd known for 7 years at that point but in the long run we did need the distance (and I'm sorry to throw it all out here like this Gabby if you want it edited tell me I'm just putting it all out lmao)

Through a cosmic aligning of the universe by which I mean a special interest in both Minecraft and Achievement Hunter at the same time, I found a small Minecraft server that I could play on and met some really great people

Started my third year of community college

Oh yeah met @inspector-starfish from the Minecraft server for the first time in person, me and my brother stole her from her college and took her to the state fair with us.

2014

Started easing into talking to Gabby again (I remember the message with new baby Imogen!!!) Which was a blessing

I can't remember if it was 2014 or 2015 but at some point Gabby also hung out with me on the Minecraft server with my other buddies

Worked on Catfish as a Production Assistant for like 2 days and I still think I was fired lmao

My dad was arrested. Which is... The hardest thing to type out. Because everything before 2014 feels so distant because of the events.

He got put in jail and we bailed him out, but a month later he got arrested again and we couldn't bail him out this time.

God help me I'm so glad I had gotten back to talking to Gabby at this point I vaguely remember a sobbing Skype call between us.

I don't even remember what classes I was in at community college anymore that's how bad it is.

I basically dropped out though.

I stopped writing, I stopped drawing, I stopped... Being. That's really what it narrows down to. Only one of my real life friends knew what happened and I broke down everytime I thought about it so i'm pretty sure at one point I had a panic attack on my way to hang out with Friend A, who knew, and Friend B, who didn't.

I did start talking to @rhysispiecess that year. Through a post on here actually (we were also on the same Minecraft server but because I didn't really play that much that I remember after this whole thing I kinda forgot who he was).

I think (maybe???) I also met @belle-sourires and @youllthinkofsomething that year.

We moved from the house we'd lived in 13 years to a little rental house where we had the sweetest neighbors

2015

I spent a lot of time reading and crying in 2015 lmao

Also spent a lot of time talking to @rhysispiecess (the FNAF AU years God bless them for being a much needed distraction from real life)

Dad went to actual prison and boy that's an experience having to visit him there every week

We moved again this time to a small apartment

Got my first real job that wasn't being a production assistant (the same job I still have!)

Started to make actual attempts at writing again but struggled with it a lot

2016

For the first time since 2014 I actually wrote more than a simple one off story of the course of a month

Saved up my money and went to California to meet @rhysispiecess and @27thousandlizards.

Confused the shit out of Luke's (@27thousandlizards ) grandma

Was so tired I cried when I saw how little Corgi puppies are

Got to see @inspector-starfish and @youllthinkofsomething in San Diego where they were doing a robot thing as usual

Got to see the end bit of Route 66 cause wouldn't you know Rhys lives right near it (and as a huge Cars fan oh my God FATE)

Had an absolute blast with both Rhys and Luke and cried when I had to leave them because boy do I love friends

2017

Cars 3 came out and I transcended to a higher plane of being

Okay not really but I'm sure ya'll remember the days where I was mostly a Cars blog

100% I know I've said this before but all of the Cars movies have hit with specific messages at exactly the point in my life I needed to hear those messages so like. Poetic cinema.

Made some fantastic friends from those days

After 11 years of attempts at writing a redemption arc for a certain Cars character I finally wrote one and IT WAS GREAT

Cars 3 also managed to make me write again which has continued to be a struggle since 2014

Oh yeah became single again I was in a relationship but that ended TIME FOR ALONE (learned I'm still a terrible person who doesn't handle relationships well so hey not bad I'll leave people out of my overly anxious 'they must hate me' mentality)

2018

Fell out of writing again after the Cars 3 hype died down enough lmao

Got to meet @whipplefilter and @the-kings-tail-fin for a road trip around NC which was fantastic

Played way too much Nintendo Switch

Gabby got engaged and I absolutely cried for like an hour because how the fuck do you not cry when someone you've known for so long gets engaged (I'm still so happy for her @onetruejonsey seems like a really wonderful guy)

Oh yeah we moved again we have a real house now but the neighbors are redneck assholes

2019

Thanks to FNAF Help Wanted, I got whiplashed back into that fandom BUT I did start writing pretty regularly again. In fact I've written more this year than all the years since I stopped COMBINED. Which means I was both in the right headspace to actually want to write again as well as being able to keep myself focused on it.

Met Jodie Benson (ARIEL!!!!!!), Daniel Logan (KID BOBA FETT) and Christopher Sabat at GalaxyCon. Right. I went to my first convention despite being terrified of it

I cried like a bitch meeting Jodie Benson and she hugged me. I told Daniel Logan I'd had a crush on him as a kid and that Attack of the Clones was still my favorite Star Wars (which it is I wasn't lying) and he hugged me. Got to hear Sean Schemmel call Christopher Sabat out for being so friendly that his line was ridiculous which was great because boy did I not have enough money to meet more than three people. Christopher Sabat was fantastic too.

Went to DC with my 3 closest IRL buddies I've known since like 2008 and despite some arguments none of us killed each other. Nearly destroyed my feet from all the walking though. Don't know how we'd survive a trip to Japan which they all want to do.

Started formulating my next novel idea

It's been a long decade. Really the first half feels like it happened to another person.

I want to say, more than anything, if it weren't for Gabby I never would have had the courage to meet so many of my other online friends. She flew over here to meet me when I was 17 and she was 15 going on 16. We were so young and my dad and her mom worked so hard to make sure that we could actually meet each other and I'm forever thankful for that. I went across the ocean by myself at 18, an autistic disaster of a human, and somehow I didn't panic or get lost or anything. Without those experiences I never would have had the courage to do a lot of the things I've done since.

I'm still terrified of the future though. I have no idea if I'll even save enough money to go to England to see Gabby again (and God we actually need to talk more because I feel like a terrible friend ALL I DO IS SEND GIRAFFE PHOTOS). I don't even know what I want out of life.

Here's hoping though that I can continue to have some adventures and meet more of my online buddies in the next decade!

[manoharis]

A Year in Review: Telugu Movies!

You can’t pay me to watch these (aka watch me roast them in 10 words or less)

Dictator - a Bala Krishna movie without animals in the title!

Krishnashtami - wyd Sunil.

Terror - the title aptly describes my feelings about this movie.

Guntur Talkies - lets just not. more like gun-to-ur head after watching this.

Attack - this wins for having a director and actor that Idc about!

Edo Raakam Ado Raakam - edho raakamaina torture.

Thikka - ee cinema choosaka vacchedi adhe

Jaguar -  just when you’ve thought twood’s exhausted the possible feline comparisions

I really really dont care:  Savitri, Raja Cheyyi Vesthe, Abbayitho Ammayi, Killing Veerappan, Express Raja, Naruda Donoruda, Hyper, Speedunodu, Garam, Nayaki

Nenu Sailaja -I had a lot of expectations for this movie because it was said to be “fresh” but there was really nothing new here. I loved Ram’s look, some of the comedy and most of the songs. Worth a watch but nothing ground-breaking. 

Nannaku Prematho -  A for effort? I just couldn’t connect to the film because I felt like the emotion was kind of artificial and didn’t really pull me in. I couldn’t get behind a lot of the “logic” in this film. Also there disruptive bgm in every scene which made it really hard to focus on the film. 

Soggade Chinni Nayana - I feel like this movie was targeted towards middle aged aunties lol. I love Nagarjuna and Ramya Krishna but there were one too many scenes where I was hiding my face from embarrassment. On the plus side, all the sarees in the movie were gorgeous !

Lacchimdeviki O Lekkundi - messy because of all the back and forth plot twists. Horror comedy is literally my least favorite genre so I didn’t like this.

Seethamma Andalu Ramaya Sutralu - below average; I don’t have much to say about this. If I hadn’t watched it, this would belong in the ‘I really don’t care’ list.

Krishnagadi Veera Prema Gaadha - I think I was drowsy when watching this (not because of the movie) so I honestly don’t remember anything but the beginning portion which was really funny. I need to rewatch this.

Malupu - I always love a good thriller but it could’ve been better. Aadhi Pinnisetty’s voice tho !!

Kshanam - FAVE !!! This was so good! again always down for a good thriller. Super gripping and just the right pace. I loved how in this the love story was relevant to the script. It was very well written, acted, and taken as well in terms of technicalities. I can definitely see it getting awards next year.

Kalyana Vaibhogame - The first half was loud and messy which made me almost stop watching it. With a premise like this, the story is extremely predictable, as in you knew the lead pair would fall in love eventually, it was just a matter of when. I thought the second half was pretty cute though.

Shourya – I know this is biased of me but I can’t remember the last movie of the Manchu brothers that I’ve seen because the kind of movies they make are just so not my type. However, when this movie came out I did hear some positive talk for it on twitter. But then it wasn’t talked about at all after like a week? So I’m not exactly sure how successful it was. I may watch it eventually but I’m not dying to see it lol

Run- This was the remake of Neram by Sundeep Kishan (side note: I really like Sundeep, so I was annoyed that he was doing a remake). I didn’t hear much about this either after the first week so I don’t think it did that well. However, I do want to watch it because I’ve been trying to watch Neram since forever but I could never find it with subtitles so I guess this is my chance to watch it, but a lesser version ofc. Although one of the main reasons I wanted to watch was for Nivin and Nazriya so this doesn’t really do much more me lmao

Oopiri – I haven’t seen the original so I really liked this! S/o to Nagarjuna for realizing fairly quickly that its time for him to more age appropriate roles (take notes @ chiranjeevi). This is why the Akkineni’s are my fave! (my bias is showing so much in this post but do I really care). anyways, I loved the chemistry between Karthi and Nagarjuna cause lbr their bromance was the real love story in this. Shriya’s appearance made the childhood shipper in me super happy. Overall, an enjoyable film with some great performances. 

Sardaar Gabbar Singh – The amount of hype this movie had, jfc. Tbh I don’t have anything major against Pawan Kalyan. He’s just not one of my favorites, and ngl I liked him in the early 2000s phase (i.e. before Gabbar Singh which is when his fans went to piccha peaks). His fan base is literally one of the worst. I just think they’re super extra and very disrespectful, esp at audio launches. So yes, I was happy that it flopped because one it put the pk fans in their place who were hyping this to no end. Also he wrote the story and screenplay for this and reading some reviews about that gave me life lmao. If you want to hear something good about this movie, Kajal looks stunning in all her princess-y clothes and a few of the songs are pretty good. 

Sarrainodu – I actually haven’t seen this yet but I do want to. Here I go being biased again lol. If this starred anyone I didn’t care for, I would have no interest in this movie but because it’s the fave, Allu Arjun, I have to watch it. I like a lot of the video songs and the music actually grew on me when I was forced to listen to it A LOT in India over the summer. Also he looks hella good, I’m sold, bye. 

Supreme – Ok this movie was huge in India over the summer. Everyone loved it and ngl I used the phrase “its amazing zing zing” about a thousand times among my cousins without even having seen it. I tried watching it once I got back and it was just too much loud comedy for me to handle and I never finished it. 

Brahmotsavam – oh lord. TOO SOON. Jk, I’m over it. Easily the biggest disappointment of 2016 in terms of what was promised and what was delivered. I literally followed this movie since it was even rumored to be happening because Mahesh and Sreekanth Addala. Then Mickey J Meyer was brought on and then Samantha and I was just so hyped. I think the fact that I was dying to watch this in theaters and then I didn’t even want to watch it once it was online, says a lot. I was just really shocked that everyone, fans and non-fans alike panned it especially when it involved sooo many people. The second hand embarrassment is too real. But I did eventually watch it and what the actual hell. There was literally no story, no coherence, and way too many irrelevant characters. Mahesh has a pattern of delivering blockbusters after massive flops so here’s hoping the best for his next!

A…Aa: I have so many feelings about this movie. Trivikram is one of my most favorite directors/writers and has been for a long time. With Attarintiki Daredi, I was pretty disappointed that he went full on commercial and I thought he lost some of his touch. That changed a bit with Son of Satyamurthy (but I feel like a majority of the reason that I liked that movie is bc of Allu Arjun lol). But yeah anyway, A…Aa is still a very commercial movie, its not in any way niche. However, I think Trivikram finally struck the balance of substance and commerciality which made it an entertaining movie while also leaving you with something to think about. The story was actually very simple and something that’s definitely been done before, but the screenplay had Trivikram’s name all over it. It was apparent in every single dialogue. He also pulled out some spectacular performances that were subdued but well done. I remember Samantha saying in an interview that because this is Trivikram’s third movie with her, he knows when she’s reusing an expression which forced her to improve her performance. When the movie was announced, I was kind of disappointed that Nithiin was in it because he’s never been a favorite of mine but I fell in love with him after this. I think in a lot of his movies he tries to do the typical commercial hero act and its obvious that he borrows heavily from Pawan Kalyan’s style. But in this his characterization was very subdued and painted him as  a common guy which made him a lot more likable. It was also easier to ship the lead pair because the star aura tends to overshadow the chemistry but here I was really able to see the characters instead of the actors behind them. I just wished the story was more unique but otherwise a really good movie!

Okka Ammayi Thappa - Sundeep really needs to promote his movies more because they always seem to go under the radar. I was actually really excited for this because Sundeep & Nithya as the lead pair. I’m pretty sure its one of those movies that takes place in the span of a single day which I love bc if you can stretch a day into a full film, its gotta be one hell of a day. Not sure if this was a hit or not but I definitely want to check it out once its online.

Gentleman – (Spoiler Free). This was pretty good! A nice balance of romance and suspense. The story was intriguing and the performances were well done. I didn’t like the comedy though. The situational humor was fine but I hated the comedy track and I felt like it made the movie so much slower than it needed to be.

Oka Manasu - I was so hyped for this cause I love Naga Shourya and Niharika but apparently this was very slow and boring. I hope this doesn’t discourage Niharika from doing more movies because tollywood really needs some actual telugu actresses. (Side Note: Allu Arjun’s speech at this movie’s audio launch !! He basically called out the PK fans in a long 10 mins lecture and it gave me lifeee)

Pelli Choopulu - FAVE!!! Truly a new age rom com. I watched this in a theater in India and I loved it! The story was fresh, engaging, and hilarious. I loved how the characters were very realistic and reflective of actual youth and not hero-like at all. Also s/o for the strong female characterization !! You go Chitra! I think it did an amazing job of combining comedy, romance, social issues, and emotion into a very believable and enjoyable film. And not to forget the music which is so so good. Also, I’m gonna quote this movie in my grave. 

Manamantha - I looove movies that have multiple inter-related stories. The four characters and their respective stories were written well with each character tackling a unique situation. Overall, I liked it, but it definitely could have been better.

Srirasthu Subhamastu - I watched this in India and it was nice to see it on the big screen because the best part of this movie was the grandeur of production. Starring in a movie produced by your father clearly has its perks. I don’t really care about Allu Sirish but he’s still pretty new so to be fair he was pretty good in this. The story is very very routine and predictable but I remember liking the dialogues

Babu Bangaram - I don’t think this was a hit? But fiiinally, Venky in a movie that’s not a remake, which ofc didn’t last long cause his next is a remake smh. 

Janatha Garage - This movie was apparently the biggest hit of 2016 in terms of box office and imo its not deserving. The trailer for this movie made it seem really good but it was a disappointment in the end. The thing with Koratala Siva’s movies is that he always has a good social message but then commercializes it way too much. I understand what he’s trying to do but I wish he’d cut down on the violence and focus on the actual issue. This couldve been a really amazing movie about environmentalism but it turned into something really routine. Im also annoyed that a stellar cast of NTR, Mohanlal, Samantha, and Nithya was wasted on such a mediocre movie.

Jo Achyutananda - This was pretty good. As per the director’s style, it was very simple with life-like characters. The story was very interesting but I thought it was pretty anti-climactic and definitely could have been taken to another level. S/o for Nani’s cameo towards the end which sadly was the only male eye candy (sorrynotsorry).

Majnu -  Even though this is Nani’s movie and I usually have high expectations for his movies, I didn’t expect much from this. The movie didn’t offer anything spectacular. The plot started off pretty interesting but then went the routine rom- com path. It gets a fair share of laughs and the music is fabulous but otherwise underwhelming.

Abhinetri - I haven’t seen this yet and I don’t really care tbh but I’ll probably watch it eventually.

Mana Oori Ramayanam - This seems really interesting from the trailer. Definitely a niche film and I don’t think it did well commercially but I want to see it.

Premam - What do I say about this that won’t get me hate lmao. I haven’t seen this yet but it received pretty good reviews as well as commercial success. I don’t support remakes ofc but I know I’ll end up watching this eventually. I’m glad that Naga Chaitanya is back on track again ?

Saahasam Swasaga Saagipo - I really want to watch this because romance + thriller is my faaave. I don’t think this was that big of a hit but Im still excited to see it. The album is amazing and I assume the bgm will be as well. Also s/o for Naga Chaitanya’s look in this movie which is his best yet imo. Is it just me or has he become so much more attractive now that he’s unavaible lol.

Ekkadiki Pothavu Chinnavada - I haven’t seen this yet, but heard that it was really good! Seems like another Karthikeya-type movie? Who would’ve guessed that Nikhil would be most successful actor from the Happy Days gang (besides tamanna ofc).

Jayammbu Nishchayambu Raa - same as above ^, haven’t seen, heard it was good.Other than that, I’m glad a small film got acclaim.

Dhruva - How much credit can you give to a remake ? I haven’t seen this or the original but I know I’ll probably like it. 

Overall I think 2016 was a pretty good year for movies with many of the successes coming from small budget films which seems to be an increasing trend in Tollywood. The fact that Sardaar Gabbar Singh and Brahmotsavam were total box office disasters even though they starred arguably the two biggest stars in TFI shows that the majority of audiences crave content over star power which I’m all here for! 

[funface2]

Twilight: 10 Hilarious Eclipse Memes Only True Fans Will Understand – Screen Rant

The film adaptation of The Twilight Saga: Eclipse is almost ten years old now, and it’s wild to look back and remember what a massive phenomenon the entire Twilight franchise was. This fluffy and romantic tale of Bella Swan, the hundred-year-old vampire and the werewolf boy who were constantly vying for her affection captured the hearts of girls (and some boys) all over the world.

RELATED: Twilight: 10 Hilarious Bella Memes Only True Fans Will Understand

Although the Twilight mania obviously died down after the books and films concluded, The Twilight Saga has actually undergone a bit of a renaissance in the world of online fandoms. This renewed appreciation for the series was completely unexpected, but not unappreciated. And, just like anything that gains a bit of internet popularity, Twilight became the subject of many internet memes during this renaissance. Every movie was blessed and cursed with its own memes, and here are the 10 best memes about The Twilight Saga: Eclipse.

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10 Not The Same Eclipse

Look, when it comes to romantic relationships, it needs to be a give and take kind of situation, and you ultimately have to accept that you win some and you lose some.

An actual solar or lunar eclipse is clearly more exciting than the movie version of The Twilight Saga: Eclipse, but if your girlfriend (or boyfriend, because it’s not just girls that enjoy a little Twilight every once in a while) wants to watch an hour and a half of incredibly sanitized romance between a bunch of supernatural beings then maybe just let her live her best life for a little while.

9 That’s Not Romantic, It’s Creepy

To be totally frank, the mystique of Bella Swan is entirely mystifying, because she is an admittedly beautiful – but ultimately very boring – individual. But what really leaves us asking questions about Bella’s magical magnetism is why exactly she seems to attract such utter creepers.

RELATED: Twilight: 10 Hilarious Jacob Memes That Are Too Funny

Edward and Jacob are undeniably smoking hot, but they’re quintessential nice guys who don’t know how to actually listen to what the girl they supposedly love is saying. Jacob is totally the type of guy who will be a girl’s Valentine whether she wants him to be or not, but Edward Cullen is the exact same way, and Bella is incredibly unlucky to have these two borderline stalkers believe that they’re in love with her.

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8 Minion Love

Yeah, we can’t lie, if someone remade The Twilight Saga but used minions in place of all of the characters – we would 100% be watching it. And not to besmirch the writing of Stephenie Meyer, but, to be totally honest, you could just as easily switch out all of the dialogue between Edward, Bella, and Jacob with the incomprehensible gibberish that is the minion language and the story wouldn’t have to change all that much.

We also have to give props to the creator of this particular meme, because the detail work is fantastic. The abs on Jacob and the chest hair on Edward are spot on.

7 Who Can’t Relate To That

It’s really a shame that the main thrust of The Twilight Saga is the love triangle between Bella, Edward, and Jacob, because the side characters in Twilight are really the most interesting characters in the series.

Rosalie Hale is an iconic character in a lot of different ways, but one of her most charming attributes is her absolute zero-tolerance policy for pretty much everyone and everything in the world. She’s certainly no fan of Bella Swan, but she also isn’t a fan of anyone else either. She ostensibly loves Emmett, but even he gets the kind of treatment that makes it seem like Rosalie is just barely tolerating him.

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6 Teens Shouldn’t Procreate

On its face this is a meme that seems especially judgmental and mean. However, on second thought, it’s a pretty fair thing to say about Twilight fans. And that’s not because Twi-hards are stupid or their interests are embarrassing, it’s simply because most of the people who were caught up in Twilight mania were teenagers at the time.

RELATED: Twilight: 10 Hilarious Edward Memes Only True Fans Will Understand

And despite what the conclusion of Twilight may have told its audience, it’s actually a pretty terrible idea for teenagers to have children. Luckily it’s been quite a while since the Twilight books and movies came out though, so presumably all of the fans are now grown enough that having children is not such a terrible idea.

5 An Upset Win

Many people might be able to figure out what exactly this meme is referencing just from the context clues, but for those of you who don’t have an encyclopedic memory of completely inane pop culture awards that were given out almost ten years ago then we can explain what’s up with this.

So, for some inexplicable reason, fans of Harry Potter and Twilight seemed to place actual value on an MTV movie award, and the Harry Potter squad was understandably upset when Eclipse won the award for best movie over HP.

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4 Shocking

In retrospect it really seems like all of the Twilight fans should have been team no one, since Edward let Bella nearly kill herself to incubate their child and since Jacob promptly fell in love with said newborn child the minute Edward literally ate her out of Bella’s stomach.

But, also, there was clearly no chance of Bella choosing Jacob anyway. He was probably the least bad out of two terrible options, but this girl went completely insane and nearly killed herself multiple times when Edward bailed on her. Obviously she was never, ever going to choose anyone over Edward.

3 He’s Taken, But Still

The drama of The Twilight Saga makes a lot of sense because the three main players involved in the big love triangle are all stage 5 clingers who don’t seem to have an ounce of common sense to share between them, but it’s worth repeating that the side characters in the series really were the best characters that the saga had to offer.

RELATED: Twilight: 10 Vampire Logic Memes Only True Twi-Hards Understand

Alice and Jasper were an undeniably perfect match, but it’s kind of hard to see how Bella would be so single-mindedly obsessed with Edward when Edward had brothers that looked and acted as Emmett and Jasper do.

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2 The Original Is Better Than The Fanfiction

Well, it’s pretty rare that a fanfiction based on a certain story actually surpasses that story in terms of its quality. In case anyone didn’t know already, 50 Shades of Grey is literally Twilight fan fiction. The author E.L. James just changed the names of the characters when her fanfiction blew up and attained enough popularity that it actually warranted a print publication.

And it’s pretty ironic when you think about it, but James (possibly by pure accident) nailed all of the creepiest and most abusive parts of Edward Cullen as a character with her characterization of Christian Grey.

1 Revenge For The Ages

It might seem like this entire meme list has been a total roast of The Twilight Saga: Eclipse and the entire saga in general, but that’s only because – with the benefit of time and maturity – the massive amounts of problematic issues within The Twilight Saga have become virtually impossible to ignore.

While the representation of women in the series is a little icky, we think one thing that everyone can agree on is that Rosalie Hale’s revenge on the men who attacked her and nearly killed her is absolutely worthy of icon status. She went straight Kill Bill before Kill Bill existed, and it truly was poetic cinema.

NEXT: 10 Hysterical Twilight Logic Memes Only True Fans Understand

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Bài viết Twilight: 10 Hilarious Eclipse Memes Only True Fans Will Understand – Screen Rant đã xuất hiện đầu tiên vào ngày Funface.

from Funface https://funface.net/funny-memes/twilight-10-hilarious-eclipse-memes-only-true-fans-will-understand-screen-rant/

[makeitwithmike]

10 Risky Brand Comebacks on Social Media That Worked

By Kaylynn Chong

“Sorry to hear that. Please send us a direct message and we’d be happy to assist you.” For the majority of brands, this is what customer service on social media looks like. Polite, respectful, and helpful.

But not for every brand.

Businesses now use their social handles to deliver sharp wit, make clever jokes, and throw shade.

While having a sense of humor is important, there is a line. And crossing it can have consequences. Just ask the folks at Hawke and Co.

Still, several brands have been unable to pass up on opportunities for a good burn. In the following 10 situations, it paid off.

Be safe out there.

1. Tesco Mobile tells a hard truth

Tesco Mobile, a UK-based mobile network, is probably one of the sassiest brands on Twitter. They’ve earned a reputation for handing out some vicious burns, to the delight of their nearly 80,000 followers.

It was hard to choose the best Tesco Mobile burn. There are a lot of them. But this one stands out due to its reach.

@LiyahSummers When you realise your mates are ignoring you LOOOOOOOOL #nojoke

— Tesco Mobile (@tescomobile) June 30, 2013

Over 11,000 retweets and over 7,000 favorites should be enough to convince you that Tesco has the Twitter burn down to a science. They didn’t pick someone complaining about their product or customer service. They sought out someone trying to make a joke at their expense, and decided to defend their brand in an extremely relatable way: with a third degree burn right out of the school yard.

People have started following Tesco specifically because of the guile they show in conversations with their “haters.”

How many phone companies do you follow? Probably only the one you use. Tesco’s approach has allowed them to connect with a wider audience, including many non-clients. I couldn’t resist, here’s another one.

@JayFeliipe Are you really in a position to be turning girls away? — Tesco Mobile (@tescomobile) October 16, 2013

Call the fire department!

2. Wendy’s roasts a customer

The fast food chain made headlines when it delivered an epic comeback to a customer who accused them of lying about their “never frozen beef.”

if you’re having a bad day today, just remember that you didn’t get dragged by a fast food company on twitter http://pic.twitter.com/gUSuHwZLQR

— ΓRΛX (@Fraxtil) January 2, 2017

Since then, Wendy has continued to provide giggles on an ongoing basis. The burger joint has earned a reputation for handing out vicious burns—much to the delight of their 1.51 million strong—and growing—Twitter fanbase.

@ceophono No, your opinion is though.

— Wendy’s (@Wendys) January 3, 2017

With some tweets getting upwards of 10,000 retweets and 30,000 likes, Wendy’s is definitely getting noticed for their risky comebacks.

3. Discovery Channel teaches the Penguins a lesson

How did a simple tweet from the Discovery Channel turn into an awesome burn lauded by hockey fans? It all comes down to the innocent penguin.

In 2015 Discovery sent out a tweet on the average height of the emperor penguin.

On average, emperor penguins grow to be 3.8 feet tall >> http://bit.ly/2nnTozQ http://pic.twitter.com/PgLuwLYuBB

— Discovery (@Discovery) May 13, 2015

The Pittsburgh Penguins hockey team saw it as an opportunity to maybe spark some interesting social media conversations. They responded with a tweet of their own, on the average height of a Pittsburgh Penguin. Clever… except in retrospect, since it lead to this amazing comeback.

@penguins Strange. Our latest observations show no Penguin activity currently on ice in Pittsburgh. Where did they go? — Discovery (@Discovery) May 14, 2015

A little context: the Penguins had, only a few weeks earlier, been eliminated from the Stanley Cup playoffs. Maybe Discovery’s social media manager is a hockey fan of a different breed? Either way, a network that is known for providing educational programming definitely taught the Penguins a lesson.

And it paid off to the tune of 31,000 retweets and 34,000 favorites.

4. #DearEverlane hashtag sheds light on the consumer experience

Everlane’s hashtag #DearEverlane encourages customers to share questions, concerns, and brand experiences online. Everlane then takes to social media to showcase some of their best interactions:

Dear Jayson and Karla, Sometimes we brag that this backpack is a steal. Guess he took it literally. Everlane #DearEverlane

A post shared by Everlane (@everlane) on Mar 30, 2016 at 10:41am PDT

In a specific #DearEverlane post, “Rupert” decided to call the clothing company out on the value of its products:

Dear Rupert, One sweater does cost us $57 to make; when you use natural fibers and invest in quality, it costs real money. But that’s not the ridiculous part. The ridiculous part is that other brands have a similar cost but mark their prices up so much more. Maybe they need the brain scans. Know your costs, Everlane #DearEverlane

A post shared by Everlane (@everlane) on Aug 27, 2016 at 9:00am PDT

Instead of burying the negative feedback, the clothing brand presented Rupert’s commentary on their Instagram account.

The retailer fired back with a smart explanation as to why their sweaters cost as much as they do—as well as referencing Rupert’s snarky suggestion to “get a brain scan performed.”

#DearEverlane opens dialogue on social media and gives the brand an opportunity to address topics off all kinds—the good, the bad, and the ugly. It’s also another great example of using hashtags to drive engagement.

5. Smart Car proves how smart it really is

Smart cars don’t appeal to folks who prefer driving something a little bigger. The small size of these cars has made them the butt of jokes ever since they were first introduced. Rather than take offense, the company is pretty good at letting things slide.

But, just this once, they decided to take on a stupid joke about their product.

‘Oh our cars can be destroyed by bird poop can they? Maybe they can, but it would take 45,000 emus to make it happen. You and your joke have just been scienced. Good day.’

This isn’t so much a traditional burn as it is a mic drop moment. They took a joke made at their expense, proved they were paying attention, and actually transformed it into a brand win. If there was a tweet in this list that you might actually want to mimic, this would be the one.

6. Totino’s responds to S.N.L.’s Super Bowl skit

If there’s one Super Bowl commercial that is sure to delight every year, it’s Saturday Night Live’s Totino’s pizza roll skit.

The parody Totino’s Super Bowl ad sheds light on gender stereotypes when it comes to football. The main character is a Stepford Wives-inspired housewife who plays clueless about the game and gets ordered around at her husband’s Super Bowl viewing party.

Every year has been pretty spectacular, but 2017’s skit received significant amounts of buzz when Kristen Stewart and Vanessa Bayer fell in love on-screen.

When it came time for Totino’s to respond, they came back with a couple of cheeky but perfect retorts.

*watches new @nbcsnl* *sees another Totino’s parody ad* *sighs, logs in to work email for the next 12 hours*

— Pete Zaroll (@totinos) February 5, 2017

Hey, it’s like we always say: pizza rolls, not gender roles. #SNL @nbcsnl

— Pete Zaroll (@totinos) February 5, 2017

7. DiGiorno Pizza with the smooth delivery

Rapper Iggy Azalea made headlines on Grammy night in 2015, not for her award nominations, but for a Twitter battle with Papa John’s restaurant.

Iggy ordered a pizza and the restaurant employee who delivered it distributed her information to their family member, who proceeded to send Iggy unwanted texts. Iggy was less than pleased, with both the texts and the response of a Papa John’s manager, and she spread that displeasure on Twitter.

This was a potential PR nightmare for Papa John’s, which apologized and did their best to address the situation on Twitter. Another brand saw the situation in a different light, however, and rushed in to take advantage.

@DiGiornoPizza I know right!

— IGGY AZALEA (@IGGYAZALEA) February 9, 2015

DiGiorno Pizza is a maker of frozen pizzas that uses the tagline “It’s not delivery, it’s DiGiorno.” The entire situation was a perfect match for their value proposition, and their generally casual and humorous approach to Twitter. Their tweet was simple but effective, and took advantage of a competitor’s screw-up (smh means “shake my head,” for the record). By entering the conversation, DiGiorno ended up with a quasi-endorsement from a famous rapper. One brand’s nightmare is another’s dream.

8. Arby’s embraces their enemies

In the midst of a rebrand, Arby’s decided to come back with a little more bite.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart had been making fun of the fast food chain for years, with jokes questioning their food’s edibility. “It’s like a shock and awe for your bowels,” the comedian once said.

Sometimes Jon’s jokes about us were hard to digest, but we kept watching #TheDailyShow anyway. #JonVoyage http://pic.twitter.com/FGoLhf6QyX

— Arby’s (@Arbys) August 6, 2015

When Stewart was about to end his hosting career, Arby’s took the opportunity to respond after years of being mocked. The fast food chain produced a farewell commercial called “Jon Voyage,” featuring a montage of Stewart’s harshest slights combined with the Golden Girls’ theme song “Thank You For Being A Friend.”

This was followed by a few clever quips to Stewart on the Arby’s Twitter handle.

Jon, feel free to reach out to us at careers@arbys.com.

— Arby’s (@Arbys) February 11, 2015

Well said, Arby’s.

9. Taco Bell adds a little spice

Taco Bell is known to be one of the most entertaining and humorous brands on social media. Their target audience is fairly young, making them the perfect target for funny, risky content. When Old Spice, another brand who doesn’t shy away from humor, presented them with the following opportunity, they were sure to take it.

@OldSpice Is your deodorant made with really old spices? — Taco Bell (@tacobell) July 9, 2012

Old Spice threw it up, and Taco Bell hit it out of the park. This tweet is the perfect burn. It doesn’t take down the brand, just the tweet in question. It makes you smile without ever feeling at all malicious.

Brand on brand burns are far less risky, since no clients are involved. They’re usually far more beneficial as well, since they benefit from the substantial network of both businesses. Case and point: RedBull tried to join in on this duel after the fact (though, in this case, it was uninspired).

@TacoBell @OldSpice No bull: the original Energy Drink is not made of wiiings.

— Red Bull (@redbull) July 12, 2012

10. Old Spice with the tough love

Since, as mentioned, Old Spice is another brand that embraces humor and risky tweets, they’ve also earned their spot on this list. Old Spice does a great job of throwing not-so-subtle jabs at followers and fans, especially those who send them weird tweets. Like poor old Sunil here.

@Sunillin try Tinder. — Old Spice (@OldSpice) October 31, 2013

In this case, the Twitter user sent something weird and off-beat, so Old Spice felt comfortable responding in a similar way. The burn is playful, not insulting, that’s a pretty good description of their Twitter presence in general. If you’re going to burn someone, burn someone who is asking for the burn… maybe even hoping for it.

Inspired by these comebacks? Use Hootsuite to monitor all of your social media activity and be prepared to take on any form of roasting—from every platform, all in one place. With Hootsuite, you’ll never miss an opportunity to join the conversation online. Try it today.

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This is an updated version of a post originally published in June 2015.

The post 10 Risky Brand Comebacks on Social Media That Worked appeared first on Hootsuite Social Media Management.

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