#life isnt easy

[healingthroughit]

Exactly. Just because life isn’t fair or easy. Doesn’t mean we have to be. It is not our job to make someone get “used to “ the reality of life. Life does that already. We are already living it. And someone using tough love makes that harsh reality actively worse.

I get a lot of comments about how people need to learn tough love. Or that life isn’t fair and they need to get used to it.

It’s true that life isn’t fair. But that doesn’t mean I’m not going to be. And if life isn’t fair, I think that’s all the more reason for me to be as kind as I can.

[catmask]

with that said there are characters that a fat maybe not canonically but they are spiritually. to me. they may not be drawn that way but i know whats true. ive seen it like a sort of prophet

[s0fter-sin]

soap's whole deal being sniper and demolitions gets me going bc on the surface they sound so different but when you get into it, you realise it's bc soap's smart

sniping is all math; calculating distances and wind interference and bullet drop. something i think people overlook is he was listed as a sniper first so it can be implied that he's better at it than demolitions. he does more sniping in both campaigns than demolitions work; in capture or kill, ghost specifically calls on him to take down the aq snipers

and demolitions is math with a hit of chemistry; knowing what mixes with what, knowing how much to use, recognising environmental factors and adjusting accordingly. it's not just about the boom; so much work goes into contained/ planned explosions. especially when having enough power for a breacher charge and not bringing down the whole building is the difference between mission success and failure

the chemical bombs he makes in alone can't just be any old cleaners, they have to have the correct reaction to each other; he just knew off the top of his head what would mix with what to create what reaction. he would also potentially have to recognise them by sight/smell bc they would’ve been written in spanish

soap would also have to know architecture; recognising structural integrity and weak points so he knows exactly where to plant a charge to bring it down and how it'll come down

he has an incredible soldier's mind people just forget that bc he's sociable which itself is a skill

we know he tends to buck against orders he doesn't agree with like when he pushes back against ghost in capture or kill and shepherd when he tells them to release hassan

he gets closer to people and sees if he can trust them and that's when he follows them without question. really think about how he talks to alejandro and rudy; he asks about their home and alejandro's family and rudy's relationship with him. those aren't questions you ask a stranger after a few hours of knowing them. that's not even touching on his relationship with ghost

he also deliberately brings people of higher ranks down to his level; talking informally with ghost and giving him a shoulder punch, addressing alejandro (a colonel!!) by his first name and rudy by his nickname despite literally just meeting them. he personalises all of them and it’s in direct opposition to the reason most characters do that; it’s not due to insubordination or lack of respect, the more he respects and trusts someone, the more casual he is with them

he digs into people; he wants to know what makes them tick and that determines if he can one, trust them and two, follow their orders. once he decides that, he's the ultimate soldier; he bleeds loyalty which makes him vicious when that loyalty is taken for granted

he isn't naive or bubbly or insecure; he's an incredibly smart and aware soldier. he's aggressive and bloodthirsty and loyal and intuitive and i love him so much

[pikhachu]

girls when their issues get dismissed as anxiety for the millionth time

[elfcollector]

I feel ill. All the fools and villains who ever fell for my ploys, they're — they're here!

[dykedvonte]

idk if you've written any head cannons about this before but i'm curious what your thoughts are on arcades previous relationships

I think this is a very interesting question because we can even know if he had previous relationships? I don't know if you want platonic or romantic, so I will answer vague enough to fit both.

Arcade is a man that wants to be reserved and self-assured. When he first vaguely tells you about his past you can 100% tell he is very mournful of something and I really think its partly him not knowing his place in the world and being incredibly lonely. One of the ways you can recruit him is literally just by being gay and showing interest. That's not someone who is used to having deep, long lasting relationships of any kind. He never mentions friends his age growing up or otherwise and he is honest (once he opens up) about how he is considred too young to be taken seriously by the older remanents when enlisting their help (Imagine like trying to be friends with your much older aunts and uncles who like wiped your ass).

He is desperately trying to find a place and I feel like that applies to being among people as well, I mean he does hide himself in a tent with the followers. When I think of his past relationships I think of fleeting hook-ups or abrupt endings with him often being the one to do the skedaddling or walk of shame to wherever he was residing at the time. I say shame becasue I know he'd want to stay and get close but he's just too scared. It's understandable when 75% of the factions would want you dead due to your family lineage... even if you had no part of their actions. He has so much baggage and hang-ups I don't think he thinks it'd be worth it to unpack that with a friend or lover.

But since your asking what I personally think his fleeting, wasteland relationships were like here's my thoughts:

Most of his relationships (friendships and otherwise) started occurring later in his like, likely his early to mid-twenties. He had seen Enclave remnants be hunted and those who survived did so by staying alone...

His first friend was a wasteland girl who liked how well-read he was. It wasn't so much a traditional friendship but like two people who frequent the same places a lot. He provided the closest thing she was getting to an education and she provided pleasant conversation.

They barely knew anything deeper than each other's names or the topics they discussed but Arcade had never had a non-enclave friend before so it meant everything to him.

She was inspired to get a formal education and do something with her life and thanked Arcade before leaving to go do that. Arcade liked the feeling of helping and sought out ways to do that.

His first kiss is actually how he got into the followers in my head. It was the first chance he took to form a relationship outside the remnants and he wanted to follow him (him as in his lover). He wanted to join a diplomatic Follower group in the NCR and Arcade was terrified of being that close.

Following the last point it was a big blowout fight because Arcade refused to explain why he didn't beyond "Aren't we fine here?" and received a very harsh reading about his inability to open up.

His first actual boyfriend was a king gang member that liked to brag about how he was dating the smartest follower on this side of the wasteland. Arcade felt bad cause he knew he was only dating the guy cause he was crushing on The King at the time and the guy made him feel good with all the praise.

He broke it off under the guise that his work made him feel like he was being neglectful to their relationship and due to the kings' strong sense of duty/principles he understood

Gave Arcade his fav hair comb as a token of no hard feelings and Arcade felt extra bad cause it was like the one real and safe feeling relationship he had and he hated it was built on lies and half-truths.

Hence why he only tells the Courier half-truths, both is too much

After that he made a rule to only have FWBs and casual friends.

This worked as well as you think it did for a man like Arcade.

Most of the people he "dated" (weird coy flirting until he shut them out when they asked something deeper) were all people who wanted to go somewhere with him. He has a deep desire to live, experience and find himself but never has the courage to commit

This explains why you can so easily recruit him with flirting and promising to whisk him away into adventure. (Daddy issues much?)

All his "friends" were either the socially weird Followers who never asked much or people who were passing through and wouldn't question the random guy they hung out with for a bit knows too much about energy weapons or power armor or that old defunct faction that almost killed everyone with evil water... twice.

Silly Headcanons is he loves to rag and joke and is a little shit. He has a chip on his shoulder about how smart he is but he's never a direct jerk about

Not a touchy friend but he clings and hovers around partners and people he has a romantic interest in. Hand brushes, pats, standing close, and wanting to be very involved. Sad but he really wants a connection and even a small sign is enough to make him lose his sensibilities.

He hates it but he knows he's touch and emotionally starved so sometimes he allows himself to get a little lost in the love sauce.

Prefers friends and partners that are a little dumber than him. This has nothing to do with anything, dude is just attracted to idiots platonically or romantically.

This post is long just because I need to explain just how I think these characters think. Arcade is a guy who wants to be gay and own a garden and drink a glass of non-irrated wine with his friends while snarking to his partner. But he's also affliated with violent war crimminals and genocidal factins and settles for just trying to give that life to someone else.

[neonhellscape]

okay its no secret i dont buy into marazhai being the persona he puts on. so as i've officially met him in game now, im making a list of all the in-game reasons i think he's a bit of an idiot [which i love btw. i find him far more compelling if he's a bit stupid/weird and he's trying so hard not to be but you just know nobody in commorragh is inviting him to parties]

the very first time you get a glance of him on a rooftop and. 'deal with this' "of course" proceeds to just walk off like 3 seconds after the other two

ambushes you. has you cornered. is in optimal position to kick your ass frankly, high ground and better weapons and utilising shock against you. ...he bitches at you for a while, gets insulted, then runs off into the forest with a maniacal cackle

heinrix fired a mild insult [considering what he's like to everyone else its barely an insult] and he took big enough issue with it to start saying how he'll break him and turn him into a pet. oh sure dude you're responding super well to this mild comment from the guy who accidentally insults everyone and their entire ancestral line at some point

i think it says something that he's learned to speak your language fluently too. that Has to be some kind of Yikes moment to admit publicly in drukhari culture. buried family secret great great grandfather drukhari-georg learned to speak mon keigh and now we claim he just spoke oddly because was shot in the head as a child to prevent the shame

he also knows the mon keigh lore that says youre a super special little guy as rogue trader and actually LISTENS to the fact you're the special little guy as rogue trader. and he does treat you as more equal/with more respect than the other characters. thats not just a drukhari culture yikes thats what gets you checked for a concussion or brain damage

literally socially atrocious enough its believed he's working with you [read: with you. not using you, not manipulating, cooperating. this is a big difference i feel] and only he himself doesnt believe it

ignore the fact he eventually DOES work with you which. is its own follow up statement

challenges you to fight him, to give chase then and there. i made him wait while i went through english government simulator where i queued for multiple days, did multiple day/week voidship trips back and forth, got distracted by accidentally starting jae's romance, pasqal telling me to servitorise her, getting blackout drunk with her, shipwide broadcast tm, giving her a voidship, her getting me a space cat, attacked by pirates, dealt with a plague, explored a few extra systems.......................

he destroys your palace. ...its rebuilt effectively within a week. most of the damage is in bodies which are just sent to the poor district to rot [almost feels worse than the damage done good job imperium]

the throne has claw marks. he could've blown it up or shot it or piled corpses on it but no he wanted to sit on the fancy chair and so turned into a common housecat mauling the sofa arm

how long was he just sitting there lounging on that chair? again see how long i kept him waiting. he was just sitting there trying to find a comfy position on this [for him] kinda small chair JUST so he could briefly taunt, break your window with his space motorbike, jump off the chair in a dramatic [but not gunna lie not that impressive] feat of gymnastics, then fly out. he doesnt even shoot at you as he leaves

i will continue my list as i see more that entertain me

[casualavocados]

We are brothers. It's my job to take care of you— I don't need it. If you are that free, go find Zhang Teng. Or you can go back to the headquarters and take care of our boss.

KISEKI: DEAR TO ME Ep. 04

[estrangedandwayward]

Still thinking about larys helping aegon off the floor, a display of physical strength which he would normally keep hidden, a brief slip of his mask of helplessness he told aegon about last episode. He disarms himself in a way, by showing the strength most assume he doesn't have

[pseudophan]

if nothing else this cookbook thing has proven that my social anxiety is way worse than i thought because why am i kicking screaming crying killing myself over dming people on tumblr dot com

[rosekasa]

there is something so. intensely frustrating about feeling incapable of showing up for people the way that they want you to

[nickbutnodick]

fuck. one summer left.

[someobscurereference]

Insane over the awakening trio again. We fought a war together, saved each other multiple times, and I know for a fact I can trust you with my life. We have never learned to socialize normally so we can't interact in a normal environment for five seconds without dunking on each other. I would follow you through time and space and abandon everything with you. You are the living reminder of every awful thing that have ever happened to me. Our traumas make us hurt each other at every turn. We're the only ones who know what lead to each other becoming Like That. Our jobs are barely in the same area and we don't even hang out that much outside of necessities. You are all I have left. I cannot fucking understand you. I am the only one in this entire world who has the ability to even try to.

x

[moeblob]

Amazing, take some of the side character demons from Evil Bound.

Vincie is a menace to Chuck and Chuck alone so in Hell, Chuck hexes his hand behind his back so that he isn't grabbed as much (and it's harder to pet him). Chuck is like the most irresponsible older sibling ever to demons though so Kelvin recruits him (as an older sibling vibe) to go help him get his ACTUAL older sibling from Earth. Chuck agrees. And then drags Vincie from Hell with them because no one else wants to babysit him and he refuses to unbind the hex just to re-hex when he returns to Hell.

In Hell, Kelvin actually doesn't appear much different than his human form! Like Kronos, the lines under his eyes are red in Hell but black on earth. Chuck however? In Hell he has wolf-ish ears and has a fur lining his neck (note the neck scars in human form). In addition to that he has four eyes in Hell (note the scars under his eyes in human form). Vincie just has horns in Hell. And! In Hell the hex doesn't have a silly looking "tied up" look, it's invisible unless Vincie strains it with movement and then its red text. But it shifts on earth to be visible.

Vincie's biggest agony for the entirety on earth is "dude it's colder here than in Hell I want a jacket to slip my arms into BUT I CANT BECAUSE IM BOUND".

[hassianlovebot]

i absolutely love how the devs portray reth and his relationship with tish. i feel like so often in media we see siblings hate each other when one of them was sick/disabled/otherwise needed more care, and i do understand why this is common and important to see, but i also love that their relationship Isn't like that. reth still loves, appreciates, and wants to protect tish. he's also not completely overprotective either. he just. loves his sister! and wants to see her happy! and it would've been so easy for the devs to make him spiteful or envious of her but instead they made him a good brother which is So refreshing to see. i love that they have a good relationship with each other

i just,,, reth <3

[axolotlclown]

Well, I was hoping enough time had passed, but I guess Dream is still having his episode. There doesn't really seem to be a good time. I have something to say, though.

EDIT: I did not clarify something in this post that needs to be clarified. Dream is being irresponsible by not seeking help. However, anyone would be resistant to seek help for this because of social stigma. The notes on this post are proving my point. Every behavior has a cause. Abuse is a circle that takes effort to break. That is the point of this post. No one is "just a bad person." That mentality literally kills people.

I maintain the belief that Dream has Narcissist Personality Disorder. Beneath the cut is the diagnostic outline from the DSM-5 so that you can draw your own conclusions. To be clear, I am not yet a licensed psychologist, so this is just my opinion.

Dream seems to be declining help, or he is under the belief that he does not need help. Personality disorders can be debilitating; they affect your relationships, work ethic, and ability to cope with basic life stressors. He needs to see a cognitive-behavioral therapist so that he can begin to learn coping strategies.

Moreso, however, I wanted to talk about self-diagnosis. I do not believe that Dream has autism. I can make a separate post with the Autism Spectrum Disorder diagnosis if people are interested. (I do have a physical copy of the DSM-5 because I need it for school, but the full PDF is also available online if you're interested in looking through it.) I do not believe that Dream was professionally diagnosed. This is because psychologists no longer diagnose autism based on how much your symptoms align with the definition, but rather how much support you need in your everyday life. For example, I would never personally diagnose somebody with ASD unless they were seeking work or school accommodations.

Diagnosing yourself can be challenging if you do not have a broad understanding of other disorders. Just because you struggle to socialize with others does not mean you have autism. There are a myriad of other disorders it could be, and the correct diagnosis is crucial. This also goes for diagnoses such as depression or anxiety, as they could be symptoms of something else.

Another thing I want to point out is that Dream last saw a psychiatrist to be diagnosed with ADHD when he was about 12��if I remember correctly. However, our brains are constantly developing throughout life. Narcissistic Personality Disorder cannot be accurately diagnosed in teenagers. (Is this teenager a narcissist or are they just experiencing personal fable, something completely normal and expected at this age?) I point this out because it's important for everyone with a brain to understand that you can progressively develop a mental illness without even realizing it. You don't particularly notice that you have a personality disorder—or most disorders that aren't depression or anxiety. Bipolar Disorder on average develops around the age of 16. Schizophrenia develops on average around the ages of 18-25. (Childhood Schizophrenia does exist, however it is so rare that it has really only been observed in case studies.)

Narcissistic Personality Disorder is not a diagnosis you can medicate—or any personality disorder, at that. One would need to take several years to learn coping strategies that may involve things as simple as app timers to as complex as perspective-taking strategies. However, this is one of the more difficult personality disorders to cope with, and certainly not one you would want to manage alone. Dream sincerely needs help.

Even if Dream does get help, it is important to know that the people he has hurt have no obligation to come back into his life, nor do they have an obligation to help him when they do not have any education or training in the field. I need those you have someone in their lives who may be struggling with this diagnosis to understand that. You do not owe anyone anything. You are not responsible for anyone, because you lack the training and education to do it. I am spending 10 years of my life in college right now trying to learn how to help these people. Please understand that it is okay to step away without guilt.

Anyway, I said my piece. Please stop calling people narcissists like it's a slur. There are real people that have this disorder that are trying to cope and maintain healthy relationships. It is possible. These people are not doomed. However, it is heartbreaking to watch someone who clearly needs help and guidance but refuses to seek it.

As promised, here is the diagnostic outline for Narcissistic Personality Disorder: