lienkcom

[estrangedandwayward]

Still thinking about larys helping aegon off the floor, a display of physical strength which he would normally keep hidden, a brief slip of his mask of helplessness he told aegon about last episode. He disarms himself in a way, by showing the strength most assume he doesn't have

[bitegore]

someone who is not me has definitely said this before but im coming to think that the existence of power is bad. Like. in a super fundamental way. Power requires someone to be subjugated to someone else's . well, power, lol, authority or control or whatever, because the construction of power is that someone can force or coerce or threaten someone else into doing something they otherwise wouldn't do by application of some consequence or another. even the soft power of 'this person is wise and knows a lot' is a construction where ignoring that person or not listening to them leads to some potential negative consequence, so we obey this wiser and older person for their ability to steer us clear of some imagined dark future mired in suffering; things only get harder from there really. But by like dint of existing in the same space as another person tehress nothing that necessarily subjugates someone else until we start playing power games and using power as a method of organizing the social group.

and like we live in a very power-centric world (obviously) so it's hard to concieve of the world without structures of power in the same kind of way it's hard to concieve of a world without, like, language or the cultural idea of the color blue or whatever, where it's this ingrained logic that just straight up Is part of how the world is run (to us, right now) but we live in a world where we have had problems that existed for millenia that we are killing, one piece at a time, like we are gods who can just turn our backs on cholera and infant mortality and widespread poor crop yield that produces famine and so on (if we choose to, which broadly we have made exclusively available on an exchange-for-money basis because this world is still running entirely on power) so i have to choose to believe that one day we will be able to turn our back on the idea of Forcing someone to do something as the only way to make any headway in society or to allow civilization to function and we will be living in a world miles better for it

[lume-ish]

!!Spoilers for II Season 2 Ep17!!

Be warned it gets a little rambly.

This might not be a new theory just cause its been so long since ep17 released so i wouldnt be surprised if someone else has already brought this up, but if it has feel free to just ignore this lol.

I had a theory what if Bow is like the Egg's soul or something, and thats why Bow was able to come back?

Like heres my thought process I dont think Mephone4 is the egg, He's connected to it and it might even be like a lifesource but I dont think he *is* the egg yknow?

Like Cobs is already able to create sentient robots like 3gs or 4s or Mepad. He didnt need an egg for those 3 so I doubt Mephone's awarenss is a result of his connection to the egg.

But if Mephone isnt, then where did the consciousness go? Unless Cobs just straight up murdered the egg(which I doubt cause of the screaming) the egg's consciousness should still be existing somewhere right?

Adding to that something i thought was really interesting was that Bow was the one that was screaming, not MePhone4. If Mephone4 was the egg wouldnt he be the one doing the screaming?

But no it's Bow, but Bow shouldn't be attached to MeLife anymore. So why?

My theory is that Mephone4 and the Egg are still one/connected to each other in some way, but Mephone4 isn't the consciousness that came from the egg, Mephone4 is just a Mephone like 3gs or 4s. I think that consciousness is Bow m.

I wonder if that could be why Bow seemingly just showed up at random in season 1. The egg finally hatched/found a way to have its own physical form outside of Mephone4.

We also never saw any Mephone4 artwork of Bow in the flashbacks. At least I don't remember seeing any.

That could also be why Bow managed to come back, if she was the egg and connected to mephone4 then she might have the ability to control melife too?

Hopefully that made coherent sense lol, it's just been something that Ive had on my mind, and i haven't seen anyone say anything similar, to be fair im not super active on social media so that could also be why. Maybe theres something glaringly obvious i overlooked that disproves everything.

Oh well, nevertheless it could make an interesting au.

[moomeecore]

hey, i hope this isnt rude, but i value your thoughts on betty (and simon!) and i think about your various analytical pieces often.

so i hope this isnt too vague, but. ive been thinking about the ways betty and simon might differ from each other, specifically in the way they view...everything. do you think one of them has a 'sees the big picture but misses the small details' view and the other has a 'gets lost in the details, cant see the big picture' view? im not sure if they differ here, or if they are both the 'gets lost in the details' but going opposite ways...?

FINALLY getting around to awnsering this. i got sick so it took me even longer than i thought it would (had to wait until i could retain coherent thoughts)!!

Ok So, a lot of this is extrapolating (esp for betty) and goes very into more of a headcanons and Personal Interpretations area than a, like, canon analysis. in part bc the show dosen’t give us a ton of content of these characters (i mean, there’s plenty of simon content as ice king but im talking about pre and post ice king simon here). but yea im just gonna ramble. dont take this super seriously btw guys. again a lot of this is just personal Interpretation yknow

SO i think simon is definitely a “gets lost in the details guy”. at least like, overall. that man overanalyzes things until he goes into a state of paralysis and then he just passes out. in some ways he might better about this post being-freed-from-the-curse, on the basis of "had to survive the apocalypse by thinking on his feet", but also worse about it bc of the lasting impacts of having been ice king. because one of the Big Things about ice king is that he almost never thought anything through and just did things as soon as he thought of them. i think simon probably really wants to be Not Like Ice King and so might be scared of making choices too fast or acting too impulsive. i imagine he’s very worried about behaving like ice king and thats something thats in the back of his mind most of the time, impacting his confidence in his own choices & actions. but also f&c sorta shows that he has that issue of trauma responses causing him to have emotional outbursts and make quick decisions. so thats something to keep in mind.

i think he's, like stuck in a state of being scared to do things without thinking really hard abt them but then sometimes he does that and then he usually regrets it and feels really awful afterwards. not always guilty-awful even. f&c seems to show him feeling angry a lot. to me simon deals not just with guilt over being ice king or recovering from being ice king or Having strong reactions to things or making choices he regrets… but also with Anger At The Situation - a lot of feeling confused and not sure what to do and overwhelmed, i think . (i like that they let him be angry and frustrated, not just sad and depressed. i think this is very realistic to trauma related emotional responses)

the other thing abt simon is he tends to follow other people's lead on a lot of things. i think he just likes not having to deal with the pressure of making decisions. he seems more inclined to lead around f&c than around, like, finn, though. and betty. but i think that’s in part because he was taking on a protector role w them. but yeah. he does a lot of crazy shit in f&c but very noticeably does not really act as a lead decision maker. until they get to the vampire world and they get attacked for a second that man is yelling orders and breaking a chair over his knee and pulling out a pocket knife to carve it into a stake lighting fast. which i loved that. i loved that he gained so much confidence from being in Panic Mode when confronted w vampires Because those where something he had to deal with in the apocalypse when raising marcy. he had to know what to do for marcys sake. other than that tho he's usually making suggestions at most. and agreeing to do scary crazy shit lmao . EXCEPT he decides on his own in secret to try and contact golb . hehe (motivated by wants to see his wife)

(it also seems like when he feels more confident in something he's much more capable of making choices. (makes sense) he wasnt paralyzed by anxiety when going on that research expedition with betty, probably because he was literally getting a phd (or had a phd, the show was so weird abt that) in that subject. makes sense he knows what he's doing. and also is interesting bc in ep2 of fionna and cake when he goes on an Adventure with finn he's very scared and nervous, but then talks about how he "used to be quite the adventurer in [his] day", which fits into the theme f&c had w his character where he feels out of place and less confident bc his whole ass profession isn't really relevant anymore, and everything is so different from how it used to be. so yeah. current simon has even less self confidence and confidence in his own decision making than Back In The Day simon bc of that)

id like to say that…. i think that the fact that it took betty only a few years to summon and eldritch god to free simon from his curse meanwhile it took simon 12 years to get to the point where he kidnapped a guy to use in a summoning ritual to talk to betty is interesting. bc i really do think they both love each other, and are both obsessive and co dependent. but betty went off the deep end so fast, meanwhile simon took a lot longer to do something comparatively Less Evil for betty. i think that a lot of this is because simon is just less confident in his choices, more nervous about making decisions, and *slower* at making decisions. in part because of a obsessive focus on details (i also think a buncha other stuff contributed to the difference in how long it took betty vs simon to do differing levels of fucked up shit for eachother but Yeah that’s the relevant part.)

i wouldn't say betty is a "think about the big picture, ignore the details" person though, necessarily. maybe compared to simon she is, but she's still a huge fucking nerd. she's an academic! to me she's someone who takes issues and situations that are more subjective and translates them into concretely structured language in order to guide herself through what actions she should take (my friend responded to this with “so what youre saying is betty took a philosophy class and was like ‘aw yes! Math!’” and yeah that is exactly what im saying)

i feel like canon sort of implies this, and definitely doesn't Not Imply It, but i also think canon didn't flesh out her character very well, so in a lot of ways im making my own assertions. but i think she's the type of person who likes to view things in ways that are ....not necessarily less complicated, but more concrete? like she can handle an uber complicated math problem with ease, but the way a math problem is complicated is entirely different from the way a social interaction is complicated, you know. and she's way better equipped for the first one.

so, basically, i think betty would be like: Dosent see the bigger picture.... but in a different way from simon, where instead of getting caught up on and overwhelmed by all the little details, she picks a specific angle to view the situation and then focuses on That, often to the detriment of viewing things from a wider, more complex and nuanced perspective. so better at seeing the bigger picture than simon, but still can miss a Lot…

i also feel like she leans towards viewing things as "identify a problem/issue, then find away to eliminate it" and "identify a goal, and find a way to reach it" . like i feel like she'd tackle social and personal situations in this way. it's not like she can't do things for fun or anything, but like, if she upset simon she'd go into Solving A Problem Mode and be like: “The issue is Simon Is Upset. The goal is Make Simon Not Upset. First i have to identify Why simon is Upset, and then how to make him Not Upset. This is The Current Goal I Must Complete.” like, not in an abstract sense. like shes literally narrating that to herself. i think she likes to focus in on  "what's wrong here and how do i fix it" as opposed to dwelling on emotions and exploring nuance. (which may be a contributor to how she ended up in that “there’s so little me left anymore” state by temple of mars: she was so focused on Fixing the Problem that she didn’t allow herself to really process her feelings too deeply and that took a toll on her mental health.)

simon is maybe more aware of nuance, which could be part of why he gets caught up on details because he's like "this CANT be properly categorized into something more straightforward, there's actually a billion TRILLION little details and that is stressful". like simon desperately wishes things could be simplified down more but is usually like "actually no, a million things are happening actually". he's like me he would get upset if asked to rate his pain or feelings on a number scale at the doctor (i can’t do that shit for the life of me. Those things are far too complicated to put on a number scale in my eyes). meanwhile betty just will force things into concrete categories and steps and factors that Make Sense To Her with intense fervor and if she starts to have a "this is too complicated to address" moment she feels threatened and then tries very hard to reprocess things in a way that is easier, or just does her best to ignore the things that make stuff too complicated to address

i think betty tends to view things in medium-sized chunks that incorporate some but Not All details in a situation, and that she cares about small details and being thorough but feels like accomplishing the goal is the most important thing, so is willing and able to make a quick decision if she feels it's the only choice. like. she had a limited time before the portal closed, and she chose to jump through it, because she thought "the problem is that im not with simon. simon is on the other side of the portal. ill go there" it's not that she doesn't like to think things through. she loves to think things through! its just that OVERALL she is a Doer who wants to solve the problem and thinks taking action and doing something is way better than sitting there and missing an opportunity. betty will think through the details if she has time, but if she doesnt, she just breaks things down into whatever is most easy to digest and process, and then takes the option that seems.like it will get the most desired outcome based on the available info. and also shes just very confident and headstrong. and THATS.  why she punched bella noche

In my eyes betty likes having rules and defined, structured processes about what to do or how to deal with stuff. and she dosen’t really like changing those. she's very autistic. she hates change i think. so does simon. but i think that simon would be more likely to be like: the change in situation is so upsetting that it's making it harder to think and process things, so he just gets overwhelmed and has an even harder time addressing whatever is happening or comprehending it. meanwhile betty is quick to try and find the easiest way to rerout her thinking to fit the new change, she's just really fucking pissed off and stressed out about it (part of this to me is she hates feeling powerless & hates feeling like she might fail). she copes with changes in her surroundings by finding a way to connect the changed situation as well and as fast as possible with her pre existing methods of tackling situations. i think bettys also worse at handling changes in people than changes in situation. to quote my friend when we where texting about this “Situations dont have feelings”.

Like. Betty has so many skills. so much knowledge. but isn’t great with people. And she gets to know people and figures out how to understand them and then THEY CHANGE??? ILLEGAL. and so… like…this is literally her whole thing with simon!! elements seems to imply that betty originally views things as "simon is cursed, i have to fix the curse". but when she makes an attempt to meet simon where he’s at and try to interact with him as ice king, she is unable to handle it. she is upset that he is different, so much so that she concludes the only way to view things is to see them as separate people, even though it was implied that she wasn't doing that before! she was approaching it like he was Simon With Memory Loss…..but then she does her villain betrayal scene and now she's all "things will be back to just me and simon, and you won't exist" . meaning before she directly started interacting with him, she was able to view him as simon, but when she did interact with him for an extended period of time and found out how different he had become, she felt so threatened by this that the only way she could handle it was by switching her view in order to not have to confront the idea that simon could have changed that much. it also meant switching her view to a place where she would be okay hurting simon. but when he starts to protest, get upset, ask what's wrong, and worst of all, insist that he's worthy of respect, that starts to stress her out and she has to talk out loud to herself to reassure herself that she's doing the right thing

and in that scene simon goes "i don't know who this simon guy is, im ice king", which i think is a Big line - he's responded to simon in the past, but doesnt always. Like. he's inconsistent in whether or not he's aware that's a way of referring to him, which makes sense bc he seems to have memory lapses where he remembers things fine one minute and forgets them the next, them remembers about them way later. anyway having him say that simultaneously provides a Confirmation of bettys new perspective, but it also… isn’t meant to. i feel like, to the audience, its saying that "simon has changed so much, he's entirely different now. and this is the way things are, and betty should accept this, but she cant" . to betty its telling her she’s right, but that kind of sucks, because she’s not totally sure how much she wants to be right (she dosen’t want this to be simon, but she also dosen’t want simon to be gone)

(i think the idea of betty Swapping her perspective abt simon during elements as a coping strategy to deal w the panic of What If Simon Is Different + the moral dilemma of potentially hurting him fits nicely into the "betty has bpd" interpretation . my girl is splitting)

(also ik many people interpret simon and ice king as Literally being entirely different people but tbh i think that is way less interesting and doesn't make a lot of sense with the canon. but also ik this is partially because what people consider to be "different people" is subjective.  like it depends somewhat on ur perception of identity and stuff. also having different interpretations is valid and fair and all that - and adventure time is often very loose in its text and there’s lots of ways to interpret it. but whatever man im just saying my feelings and That is and Always Will Be the Same guy to me and i think that perspective is waay more interesting to explore than simon getting possessed by an alternate personality or whatever. so im just going under that interpretation….. i think some ppl would perceive the "im ice king" line as being a conformation of them as separate people but to me it's a more abstract representation of the idea that a Drastic Change has taken place that Cannot be reversed!!.... which. Ok eventually it is but tbh i doubt they even knew how they'd end the show by this point and i still think in the context of elements it still works very well as a way driving home both how betty is Not Handling the Situation Well while also making you empathize with her bc u also know how hard that must have been for her to hear)

i think betty is very person-oriented in a unique way!!she's codependent while also being low empathy, introverted, and in many ways socially inept,  which is an interesting combo! i really get the vibe that she has always struggled socially and had trouble fitting in, so attaches really heavily to people who she does feel a connection to, and works really, really hard to maintain the relationships she has. i like to think she’s scared of rejection…

i think simon is much more empathetic, emotion-driven, and in tune with others than betty, but i also think he can be Very bad at actually understanding other people on many levels - like with his obliviousness to betty being interested in him romantically until she spelled it out for him, or to the impact of bettys earlier sacrifices. simon also, with the mission to get the crown in f&c, despite his empathetic nature and love for his friends, does not seem to consider that putting the crown on would upset his friends. This shows a "focusing on one thing and missing something else" scenario, and perhaps more of a "thinking abt the big picture" (saving f&c's world) over the details (friends would be sad) thing. so that's interesting. (although i think part of this example in particular stems from his self hatred preventing him from really thinking that his friends would be upset if he did that. but in a sense it is focusing on big picture over details). So theres some nuance there i think

BUT Anyway, i think this issue probably is mainly with him struggling to read people, or fully understand others perspectives, despite caring deeply about people and feeling Upset when he can tell other people are Upset. he cares and he feels very emotionally connected to people, especially people he cares about…. he just isn't that great at picking up on things sometimes. (also. Worth noting, i think its def shown that while simon may be very caring towards his friends and is a generally nice and approachable, well meaning person who wants whats best for other people. He still is very capable of Hating People and Doing Bad Things On Purpose. Don’t want to ignore that. also hes very desensitized to bad things happening in many respects lmao. So its not like hes just always super nice and caring and amazing. He still murdered choose goose to death and That is via the power of choose goose being annoying and Simon Loving Betty)

Betty also struggles to understand other people but instead of being downright oblivious to certain things or being unsure and nervous she finds relating to people and understanding their actions and emotions to be actively difficult and makes an active effort to understand people in a bit of a scientist-looking-at-a-subject way. Which can be helpful sometimes and less helpful other times. like. it's good that she has a way to navigate social interactions . but also that way of addressing things isn't always conductive to a healthy relationship, especially when she doesn't really let simon in on the fact that she's making these sort of analyses where she's like "what will maximize Simon Being Happy and how do i accomplish this" sometimes to her own detriment.  simon is just like "wow betty is so confident and good at knowing what she wants" meanwhile betty is like "i will make the best choice For Simon" betty i think is better than simon at reading people but not good at Empathizing With Others Emotions or really Understanding or relating to the emotions behind their actions .

she also is shown to, despite caring So much about simon, not be very considerate or caring towards others (not the same as being low empathy & etc dw im not equating them. Its just on the topic of How She Views Others!!!). To be fair, we don’t see nearly enough of her interacting with people besides simon, but i like to think that she just sorta struggles to really care about and have compassion for Random People but deeply cares about those she is Really close too (but as far as we know, thats just simon)

OVERALLi think they see the world very similarly in some ways and very differently in others and it's an interesting balance. also they are both Autistic. In cconclusion !!

betty

likes to break things down into concrete concepts because she struggles to comprehend more subjective and nuanced experiences, especially in social situations + Feels more comfortable approaching things from a “scientific” perspective because it is familiar and easy for her to navigate; threatened by uncertainty and comforted by things that are more straightforward and well-defined

doesn't dwell on things a ton (esp not as much as simon) because she's very goal-oriented and focused on the Now. she wants to get to the next step. that often then means ignoring Her Own Feelings Or Needs if she deems Other Things to be more relevant or important than them (not good for your mental health) + this also means she’s better at making quick decisions! she cares about details and prefers to have All The Relevant Info but is willing and able to cut things down to a “wider-picture” that helps her make whatever choices will help her achieve her goal - that wider picture just may not always be the Full Actual wider picture.

struggles to put herself in other people's shoes - finds it easier to view herself as an outside party with the goal of achieving the ideal outcome in a social situation. In general has low empathy and struggles to understand/relate to others feelings, which impacts her perspective on things and how she handles/views situations.

(not really mentioned earlier but idk where else to put it:) i also think she has that Autism Trait where you focus in on a specific goal you want to achieve and struggle to focus on anything else until it's accomplished (and that that sort of thinking pattern happened with curing simons curse). where you put off doing anything, even things you could do, until something that you Need to happen (according to your brain, not the real world) happens.  Betty put off being person until simon was saved. she put Everything on hold until she accomplished her mission. and this is in a way a form of not seeing the bigger picture, because its overly focusing on a specific thing at the expense of others

(bettys better at balancing seeing the details & the big picture in a sense, but more like. she picks a medium sized chunk of what is going on and focuses on that and acknowledges details when able to but is willing and able to make split second decisions based on little info and is confident in doing so. but whereas i think simon might have more of a "sees the whole big picture but then gets caught up on the details" thing going on, i think betty just straight up focuses on One Portion of something, of varying sizes, which could or could not he considered a "detail", but then almost completely ignores everything else, viewing things as individual challenges or events that need to be addressed before anything else can be)

simon 

is someone who really likes to think things through, and can easily get hung up on details and can easily get overwhelmed by those details and sent into a state of anxiety-fueled-spiraling or decision making paralysis

this is worse probably for Current simon because he’s also Trying To DIstance Himself from his identity as ice king, and as ice king he had no impulse control and thought things through very little. so simon likely puts even more pressure on himself to think things through! unfortunately hes also Going Through A Lot Emotionally and sometimes that’s too much and he Dosen’t think things through and just acts on how he’s feeling. And that makes him feel Worse about himself and just Everything in general

he is more confident with his decision making skills if he feels more prepared/knowledgeable on the subject at hand or is taking on a caretaker role (like with marcy, or f&c). but currently he dosen’t have a lot of that going on so that kinda sucks for his self confidence. 

simon is better at empathizing with people than betty & at creating connections with others & is more caring towards people he dosen’t know that well - and so may consider Other People more in his perspectives on things. But on the other hand hes not always the best at reading people or understanding their perspectives, even if he feels emotional connections and cares about people, so he can easily overlook other people’s struggles or perspectives within an issue - even if he cares deeply about their wellbeing (very relevant to his relationship with betty)

he’s generally more emotion driven than betty, and dwells on & ruminates about his feelings, sometimes to the point of obscuring his understanding of a situation or his ability to engage with it. On The Other Hand this means he at least acknowledges how he’s feeling meanwhile betty is like “im classifying that as irrelevant information until further notice” lmao. 

he’s better at understanding nuance & subjectivity than betty but this contributes to his habit of getting-overwhelmed by everything & Overthinking

(simon focuses on details over the big picture overall. he easily gets caught up in details and panics. he traps himself in cycles of worrying about details that can paralyze him when making decisions, and so prefers to not have to make choices. BUT simons "paralyzed with fear of making decisions" state can often be overturned by the power of Having Strong Emotions and his decisions may be Less Good because of the power of not being great and understanding other people. he's very emotion-driven and currently suffering from a billion mental health issues so sometimes all that gets in the way of his natural over-thinking. hes got a better understanding of nuance than betty & is better at Empathizing with others and more considerate but not all too great at reading them or recognizing others Feelings or Behaviors)

I THINK I REPEATED A LOT IN THIS. AGAIN, KIND OF JUST RAMBLING. HOPEFULLY IT WAS SOMEWHAT COHERENT

[melancholiaenthroned]

i am officially one year on t and i wanted to write smth to commemorate it... i dont think i have anything too out there to say. ive been very lucky to have an extremely "by the books" experience with hrt and havent really had anything "surprise" me aside from in intensity.

i didnt expect the acne to be this bad. i didnt expect the places my sex drive in those first few months would lead me to (im probably not going to write more war and peace porn. i actually dont know what possesed me to do that). i didnt actually expect to be as happy as i am. so much of the low level dysphoria i didnt even realize was there vanished. so much dysphoria i still have is now at such a low level i no longer think of it every minute of every day.

my body still doesnt feel like "mine" or "me" but it feels much more comfortable. when i look down at myself im more likely to be pleasantly shocked at the body i inhabit than actively disgusted. i talk more, because i dont hate the sound of my own voice. i smile more, because im not hyper aware of my face and how others are perceiving it.

my biggest issues with hrt in this last year are almost exclusively the way other people have treated me for it. strangers are way more comfortable asking invasive questions than i wouldve expected. sometimes i can feel the disgust from people who knew me before my transition, which is the most upsetting. i dont think t made me ugly, or gross, or ruined my pure feminine body or whatever. but sometimes i think other people are thinking it. which isnt really my business but isnt exactly fun.

frankly my biggest issue has just been bureaucratic. ive been trying to get on t for many years before this and have run into stumbling block after stumbling block of referrals and appointments and miscommunications. so i guess be ready to really argue with medical professionals about vial expiration dates and dose sizes and topical estrogen.

sorry this is rambling and not really like. super coherent but 👍 my thoughts. heres to another year on t ^_^ peace and love on planet transgender

[dreaming-of-mossballs]

hii so I'm like a super ultra silent reader of your content bc I am deathly afraid of my liked posts showing up on my friends' feeds. but I had to somehow let you know that even though you seem to be having some sort of burnout and unhappiness with your writing, as someone who's very very picky about what writing I even enjoy, your writing style and skill is definitely some of my favorite on the app at all. I totally understand being unhappy with your own work since I'm an artist too (albeit a visual artist so, not quite the same here but the idea applies), and I can relate to being unsatisfied with whatever it is you're putting out there. but basically, I just wanted to let you know from an outside view, your writing is extremely eloquent and well-put-together and organized. you can tell your writing is created with a lot of thought and time put into it, which is why it's so easy to enjoy. and side note, I LITERALLY haven't been able to stop thinking of your last post since I read it yesterday which almost never happens 😭. honestly even though there's like 5 gepard fans on here so he gets practically no content from anyone, I'd still prefer to have your writing carrying the "fanclub" of sorts over a large crop of posts from lots of people that isnt very well-done or thought about. I know you said this recent post may be your last one for a bit, so please, PLEASE take your time with whatever's next!! your stuff is always very much worth the wait ❤️ and please do take care of yourself and don't push yourself too hard.

(by the way, you totally don't need to post this on your profile or respond to it at all, I just wanted to send in some kind of message about it since as I mentioned, my paranoia prevents me from interacting with your posts directly 😞)

CRYINGB UGLY SOBBING OMGOMGOMG

It surprises me when people say I don’t need to respond because I can’t keep such a nice note to myself 😭 but I do the same thing when I’m sending asks so I totally get it (I’d get this tattooed on my forehead if no one stopped me)

i had NO IDEA I had a super ultra silent reader so this was an absolute joy to get. There was a post I saw earlier about how in fandoms, it’s either you talking with a small group of friends or your door is open and people come in and listen to you ramble. I’m definitely the latter. I’m so fortunate to have so many people invested in my story lol, because like most things I write, they start off as daydreams in bed. I’ve never written one out before, but I’m SO GLAD I DID.

And honestly, if I were to release something the quality I wanted it to be, it would take ages of rereading and refining. Unfortunately im not a very gifted writer, but all the practice I’ve gotten due to being obsessed with gepard has helped me a bit. I just have to remember that haha

Some less coherent thoughts

ITS EASY TO UNDERSTAND???? YAY IM SO HAPPY AHHHHHHHH

i actually based my style off the wings of fire series, i don’t know if y’all are familiar with it, but the introspective humor was so fun to me as a child. (Also I love using Chekhov’s gun as a crutch I’m sorry guys) it also stemmed from the worry that readers wouldn’t be able to visualize what I was picturing, so that ended up in a LOT of describing scenes early on. With no metaphors so it was just like. (Y/N) set the cup down, (Y/N) put the laundry in the washer, etc. hahaha it makes me laugh looking back on it

it also makes me absolutely kicking my feet giddy that it’s invaded your brain. I love giving people brain worms and inflicting emotional damage on them. And gepard ALWAYS shares posts with other Hsr men like. The absolute middle child treatment. But I’m glad I’m doing my part to bring something to the table that’s different than the usual 1k words he gets sandwiched in between five other people.

it makes me so so happy you think my writing is organized and well thought out, because I do put a lot of thought into it!

I’ve run out of words to say but i might come back to this to ramble pfft

i hope that fic gives you a good supply of serotonin for days to come 🩵🩵

[powerpolyculeshowdown]

Lime for the poll runners’ ask game?

Lime -> participant(s) you’re rooting for the most?

i don't want to sway the votes so i won't do any propaganda for them after the poll starts BUT it's Wu Zetian/Li Shimin/Gao Yizhi from Iron Widow i just love the way their relationship develops so much and as someone whos unable to actually pick up a book and focus on it, the fact that i read iron widow in 4 days is amazing im still proud of that as silly as it is

yknow what ill use this as an opportunity to ramble about them askdgakdjk spoilers ahead but ill try to keep the major stuff out

for context the book has pacific rim style mechas, but instead of being drift compatible or whatever its usually a male pilot and his concubine whose life force he usually drains in order to pilot the thing, but theres a LOT of propaganda that makes girls want to be concubines, or families might wanna send their daughters for the money. im simplifying it a LOT especially cause theres more info u only learn later on as zetian herself finds out but anyway

at the start of the book zetian and yizhi are besties who obviously have feelings for each other. zetian is poor while hes very rich so their friendship is kind of a secret and they meet in the woods which i think is cute, point is its p clear zetian tries to mantain a distance, not allowing herself to admit her feelings. for reasons i wont say zetian decided to become a concubine to one of the like bigger more badass guys even if she doesnt believe the propaganda and knows she might die, she only tells yizhi this the day before

he shows up at her house the next day begging her family to let him marry her?????? which is sweet because he wants to protect her but that isnt gonna work bestie sorry she's a woman w a mission

so anyway she goes to the concubine thing and shes surprisingly powerful "for a girl" which yeah thats a super common trope but shes so much more than just the strong protagonist. shes extremely powerful in every sense of the word imo and i love her so much and i wish the world hadnt been so cruel that she had to become so strong. but anyway the guy she wants to pilot w picks her. MAJOR SPOILER they have to pilot the mecha on day 1 cause they're under attack and uhhh she kills him lol lmao she drains her life force instead which supposedly is UNHEARD OF

so they cant just kill her off cause that'd look bad instead they send her to be the concubine of the strongest guy (all of his concubines die after 1 fight) and thats Li Shimin my beloved my little meow meow hes looked down on and kinda treated like an animal cause hes a criminal and the only reason he gets to be a pilot is his powerful qi. anyway shes forced to live w him and turns out hes just a lil guy. like hes very big and scary looking but hes just a tired man pls he needs a break. she fucking survived piloting w him which nobody expected. so now theres a lotta stuff going on i wont get into but some ppl arent happy w this duo cause they're both very powerful and not exactly happy to serve. and Shimin has a drink problem.

IN ENTERS GAO YIZHI hes back babey!!! and he decides to help shimin w his alcoholism. its funny cause when they first meet his crush on li shimin is so fucking obvious zetian is like "huh i always suspected he liked guys too" but li shimin is just pissed cause this is the guy who wants to make him stop drinking

theres like 1 moment of jealousy that i can remember when li shimin realizes zetian and yizhi have a thing going on but its settled very quickly and they all kiss.

back to the drift compatible thing: at one point in the final battle zetian and shimin need more power and yizhi literally lends them his qi (its extremely rare for a third person to help) and its beautiful and they are so in love and i cant wait for the sequel

idk if any of that is coherent i kinda stopped thinking and just typed sorry for rambling on ur ask im just very passionate about them i love them so much i love iron widow so much i love xiran jay zhao so much (the writer) (you might know them from the live action mulan analysis video that went viral back when that movie came out) (check out their yt channel)

[campbyler]

i left a little ramble in the comment section of chapter one but jfhslghskf that was so so good again i just loved how summery and warm it was and the atmosphere and tone was just. !!!!! ykwim . probably

i was reading in the car n there were multiple instances i was just grinning super fuckin wide at my phone abt will & maxs banter or the weird "rivals slash strangely soft at moments ??" vibe or the partys whole dynamic they just fit together like puzzle pieces its so <3 super duper excited for ch2 and so on forth im a sucker for summer romance

(sorry for the spam the fic is so good im ascending aha) anyways im just imagining mikes internal reaction thats not v internal actually to wills glasses jurt like. short circuiting and Obviously people notice but will doesnt bcs uhh ao3 tag idiots in love & also i love the whole internal monologue about mikes shorts i feel like will would call unnecessary attention to them in a "we can see everything you whore" because at some point pointedly looking away isnt enough because that is too much leg for will to have any coherent thoughts ever & he just needs mike to cover up because Holy Shit . dammit you guys have gotten the ball rolling acswy byler is gonna be living rent free in my brain now. not complaining though

HELP NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR SPAM!!!!!!! thank you thank you thank you for your many kind words <3 i have said it before, but i am so incredibly relieved that the summer vibes and the party dynamics translated the way that i needed them to, because this universe is a bit of a beast so having the introductory chapter was stressful! i'm so glad that you loved them and that their idiocy came across and also that they live in your brain rent free because they live in ours rent free too!!!!!! i hope you enjoy what's to come just as much as you enjoyed the first chapter :D

[divinemackerel]

This fandom treats a lot of people dirty but I think Fundy gets it one of the worst because rather than being just ignored he gets attention but I’d go as far to say 95% of it is horrible mischaracterizations or just turning him into a walking, talking plot device with nothing else.

Like I’ve read several fics where cFundy is basically just a living breathing reason for X to happen and then disappears afterward but is still tagged and arguably thats more frustrating than him not being there at all.

Also I have read fics where he is a baby or toddler or just young kid and his character is basically nonexistent and replaced by the author’s stereotype of a child (this mostly happens in sbi fics :/).

I’ve also read fics where not only is he is a child but he DIES before the fic even starts, doesn’t even show up for a scene, and is still tagged.

In a lot of ways this fandom’s only perception of Fundy is as Wilbur’s son, and it’s almost as bad as if this fandom’s only idea of who fundy was was that he was trans. Idk, it just becomes a gimmick, and with how this fandom is it is a BAD one, especially in relation to the treatment of Wilbur.

It’s just bad. I hate Kid!Fundy so much. I hope cSBI explodes.

[acreaturecalledgreed]

@sweatandwoe​

wheezes softly okay so monstery silco au thoughts 

idk if i have a name for this au or not yet but i have a lot of loose scrambled ideas and Vibes and various atmospheric scenes floating in my head

ive no idea if any of this is quality and all i know about league lore is what i can glean from wikis and one very enthustiastic infodumping friend

i also just, really like subtle monster shit. this person is a monster but oh, they could so easily be human.

ahhh this is all just very. slapped togethor thoughts its not super coherent apologies

so bare with me

im rly fascinated with tahm kench and i know im not the only one and i see a Lot of ppl who like to associate him with silco in some way- wether silco worships him, made a deal with him, whatever, a lot ppl seem to like playing with the idea and theyre valid

to my understanding tahm kench isnt exactly limited in what he can appear as- of course theres the squat and charming catfishalligator man in his jaunty little hat but to my understanding he can take on other appareances? idk i recall reading this but i cant recall where to save my life so like for the sake of this au we’ll just assume he Can appear human if he wants to 

we also know like nothing about silco’s childhood etc so im playing fast and loose

im never sure if im of the opinion that silco had shit parents or parents who tried their best but honestly its likely a little of column a a little of column b and im rambling too much and need to get to the point

in the context of this au sil’s mom had a mysterious but charming paramour who often made her promises of wealth and good fortune and one day he just sort of vanished from her life but not without leaving her pregnant

she successfully passed off the baby as her husband's by the sheer fortune that said baby seemed to resemble her and not her paramour in the least

paramour was, obvs a this point, tahm kench

my reasoning why for he did this in the first place is mostly that hes just fucking around for shiggles- theres other reasons but im a bit scatterbrained at the moment and words to explain are not coming to me so great

silco is largely the same as he is in canon- he’s not visibly inhuman in any way, and he doesnt act much different at all. though, i suppose, in the right light, teeth can look unnaturally sharp, eyes too solidly dark like nothing human should have, etc

but he’s prone to disassociative states and cravings for Meat ideally Very Fresh and Possibly Alive Meat and they’re worse when he’s in compromised emotional or physical states

his father left/died/whatever early on leaving him largely in the care of just his mother and while she did her best rumors inevitably spread of her weirdass half feral kid, his ill temper, his strange disposition, and the massive amount of meat he seems to require

stories that he was slowly eating her out of house and home

stories that he wouldnt stop even if the only flesh she had to provide was her own

eventually, she too was gone

i dont think sil actually hurt her or attacked her in any way, but one day it was just silco, alone, with no one else, and the rumor mill churns and youve got stories about some scrawny monster that killed and ate his own mother

he and vander do end up friends as in canon, i dont doubt b/c vander took pity on this weird guy with a bad, bad reputation but a relatively skittish (if bitey, hah) personality 

like i said a lot of this au is just sort of various scenes playing out in my head- sil ends up attacking people occasionally and its a bloody fucking mess every time

hes a conniving, sneaky little schemer and any outright deals anyone makes with him always seem to fall in his favour

he has his skills, and he’s useful, and in his own way he’s a loving and devoted friend

he is still the deeply driven revolutionary we have in canon- he loves his home and his people but he’s harsh and not afraid to spill blood

the drowning incident occurs more or less the same but vander comes out of it with a lot more than just his arm wound- silco bites, and as it turns out under life or death circumstances he can be a lot less human than he’s always seemed

i dont think he knows he’s tahm kench’s offspring until the drowning incident, having some kind of “conversation” hallucination with the river king while under and learning of his parentage

ironically the shimmer he takes for his eye is a blessing- shimmer works as an appetite suppressant and as he gets older there are way, way less incidents

jinx knows her dad is weird and so does everyone working under him but for the most part its not a problem, yes the boss is fucking scary they all know this its nothing new

i think shit gets Real odd tho post-death

im not sure silco can be properly killed, not in a way that sticks right

his body gets dumped in the river and that should be the end of it, but i think perhaps there are strange sightings for years to come, mysterious disappearances of people who wander the shores alone

im playing with this ball of idea clay and having great fun with it, others can play too if they wanna

[batfam-chaos]

out of context spoilers for birds fly ch 21

Time for birds fly out of context spoilers: written at 1am with no proofreading edition! Please enjoy the fruits of my exhaustion. I’m going to bed almost immediately after posting this lmao.

This edition of out of context spoilers is going to feature... my assorted 1am thoughts and commentary on this chapter!! I sure hope that this is coherent!!!!!!

i would kill for dr. leslie thompkins (this comes first in the list because it’s very important)

bro u should change into ur pajamas, you’ll be way more comfortable

liquids

i love putting otherwise hilarious lines in the middle of super serious scenes. my goal as an author is to make everyone reading my fics cry from sadness and also simultaneously cry from laughter. im gonna cause u pain and u will enjoy it

“THE FUCK YOU ARE”

fuck i should’ve had them watch spongebob instead of queer eye. spongebob resembles my childhood experience way more closely.

am i going to edit this before posting it tomorrow? absolutely not because i’ve already gone over it once on my own and again with my beta and i’m sleepy and dont feel like editing more stuff unless me beta tells me to bc theyre Always Right

PLEASE STOP THINKING ABOUT HOMEWORK AND GO TAKE A NAP OR SOMETHING

this isnt technically relevant to anything in the chapter, but i have the power to subject you all to my random opinions, so i’m going to do it: leslie thompkins is a lesbian. no i will not take constructive criticism. It Just Makes Sense.

timmy PLEASE ask your dad for help. i’m begging u. he wants to help u

bruce actually does have a superpower and it’s the ability to hold his shit together whenever one of his children tells him something Very Concerning

please drink water. this is technically both a comment on the chapter and also a general reminder bc i just realized that im VERY thirsty

We’ll see how the in context spoilers for this chapter go because idk how well I’ll remember whatever I’m rambling on about rn!!!!! Love y’all, I’m going to bed. Peace out.

[tfw-no-tennis]

continuted hxh thotz

we watched more so i continue my ramblings 

so we finished the trick tower stuff and started on the stuff on the island where theyre all hunting each other....wow finally some hunting in hunter x hunter 

can i just say....fuck hisoka i hate that guyyyy oh my goddddd hes the worst. i just feel incandescent rage whenever hes on screen vhbjdshfjhbsd smarmy horny clown bitch. looooord. he invokes a similar emotion to part 1 dio tbh....like i lose my domestication when i see both those bitches 

oh god that part where hisoka had just spent like hours de-hornifying himself or w/e and he looks all crusty and dehydrated and then he spots that old guy who looks kinda ghibli and he just goes AFTER ghibli man....like hisoka literally had one of those wack ass super detailed faces and just started screaming and running at that guy...like man i wouldve died instantly on the spot. jesus 

gon remains best best perfect baby boy. every time he does something so cute and pure that my heart starts palpating, i get even more nervous for the shit hes gonna go thru someday 

gon and killua are literally soooo precious theyre just two lil boys!!! two lads!!! lad boys! augh i love how much theyre vibing all the time...like on the boat to the island when theyre like refusing to tell each other who their target is and then they both start laughing and then show each other....so precious

honestly im really enjoying how they dont really have a rivalry (yet?) - theyre not like ‘yes we are friends but we’re also COMPETING! so we cant be That nice to each other bc that wouldnt be fair! or w/e you know that typical shounen stuff. i only enjoy that sometimes and im glad its not a thing rn, and if it does become like that later i probs wont mind bc i feel like itd be done well 

so ruth and i caught on to the fact that that weird guy with the pins stuck all over himself was illuminati or w/e his name is (illumi? illumini? i forget already) but HOLY FUCK we both thought he was wearing a mask....god i wish that were the case, that face transformation shit was the WORST. sir why can you do that 

also when hisoka just watched this and was like ‘i always like seeing you do that’ or whatever god gross nasty i hate them

my take on the little we’ve seen of hisoka and illumitations relationship: theyre like the catty mean girls-types but Super Fucking Weird. idk if theyre gay togther (probably) but theyd be the epitome of a ‘is this allowed? [gestures at All That]’ couple. i had more thoughts on them but i forgt 

i find it funny that they havent shown killua like at all during this island hunting thing hvbhsdhfbjdk he probably has like 10 randos badges already. i feel like he would give gon a badge or 2 if gon needed them but that doesnt seem to be the case 

when hisoka spotted leorio and kurapika and went after them i was like [guy yelling NOOOOOOOOOOO meme] freal 

thank goodness kurapika could recognize that they would Fucking Die trying to fight hisoka, and bargained w/him instead. also seeing the flashback of leorio trying to fight hisoka was so funny. my man WHAT! were you thinking 

this is probably the stage that tonpa is getting out on and can i just say thank god i hate that guy. good riddance 

that sniper lady looked cool and im bummed illuminty took her out offscreen :( i also thought the black guy with the beehive stick thing was gonna do more but guess not

i find it funny that so many characters have these loud character designs but end up not having a lot of screentime...i feel like ive been conditioned by one piece to see an eye-catching character and mentally prepare to see a wholeass backstory lol

also. illunikn is clearly a huge freak which is probably why hisoka is willing to work w/him, but his design is weirdly cute sometimes (when hes not doing absolutely freaky shit, which....admittedly isnt often)

like the part where he transforms into his True Cat Man Form and then, without changing expression, digs a giant hole with his bare hands (with the body language of a feral person) and then gets into it to nap.....like.....bro. 

also ik illiminini is killuas brother (i think brother?) and wow that family has some strong Cat genes 

i find it interesting that hisoka has been working with illiimini this whole time, hisoka strikes me as a solo type of guy who would be all like ‘teamwork is beneath me’ and only have minions (a la dio, espec p1 dio) but he seems to have a fairly even relationship w/illuimian which is wild. i rlly wonder if thatll last or if hisoka is gonna like, murder/abandon ilubimi later bc he ‘gets in hisokas way’ or st 

i like that kurapika and leorio teamed up....married

i generally really like how the relationships between the main characters are handled, its sweet how theyre just like....generally nice to each other and stuff lol 

also oh my god i forgot that last time i hadnt seen the end of trick tower i need to talk abt that 

KILLUA MY BOY OH MY GOD....ive been waiting for this ngl. ily smug murderous catboy

i love so much how killua casually kills this ~*~scary guy~*~ and everyones like :0 but gon is just like yep thats killua! hes from a family of assassins! like the way he says it so casually and kinda cheery aw i love him. he doesnt even care that killua can murder people in 2 seconds flat, he thinks killua is AWESOME 

and oh my god i love how hard killua is trying like, all the time. he is trying his HARDEST to be AS COOL AS POSSIBLE for gon and thats adorable. its working too gon clearly thinks killua is SUPER cool 

the eternally hilarious part where kurapika asked what killuas secret tactic are re: ripping that guys heart out, and killua is just like ‘uh i just ripped it out. yknow...as one does..’ and kurapika is like wow im glad this murder catboy is on our side.. 

the psychology stuff in the trick tower was interesting as hell (catch me brushing off my psych minor like, oh yeah i know abt this stuff lol)...i like the stuff abt leorio getting discouraged/disgruntled when the majority ended up being against him a lot bc thats true!! thats how it works!! it leads to learned helplessness and stuff like that...also that animation of kurapika and leorio playing cards to explain the tough candle choice was sooo cute 

i really loved the solution to the final majority rule things....ingeniously following the rules while still managing to circumvent them in ways...love it

also gon is so perfect have i mentioned that already

im so curious whos gonna pass the hunter exam, i legit have no idea and i would find it so funny if gon becomes a hunter in the first goddamn arc hjhbdfhsdjbgk as ruth said, itd kinda be like luffy becoming pirate king in like chapter 70

i mean tbf if i had to guess id say gon passes, simply bc i cant see the story taking the time to have him do the hunter exam again in a year. also his motivation is to become a hunter in order to see what its all about bc of his dad - not JUST to become a hunter 

gons fishing rod is so cute. perfect item for a perfect boy 

his training was adorable. hes a smart lad! formidable baby 

the blooderflies were so cool and OH MY GOD how could i forget the part where gon had two blooderflies with little leashes on and had the leashes tied to one of his fingers....OOOUGHHHHGBSJFHSJBFUHEJKSDD bro my heart literally palpated like it does when my cat does something rlly cute, gon is seriously That cute and pure and good

every time hisoka is anywhere near gon i just wanna call the FBI on that clowns ass oh y god. pls leave ladboy alone....

anyways i love the main characters (HISOKA DONT INTERACT) and i cant wait to see what happens next. i might have more thoughts but coherency is not one of my strengths so bye

[aaaaagaronia]

[shovel] infodump you basard

this has been sitting in my inbox for the longest of times because ive been trying to figure out what to infodump on and im feral with my hands so jdkgbhfdfd

TWELVE FOREVER IS GOOD AND FUNNY AND I HIGHLY RECOMMEND IT

So like!!!!!!! the art style is hella cute!!

the characters act like actual kids and its!! good!!

but like what i really like rambling about is the primary setting for most of the show which is this place called Endless

and it’s like hella wack and random but like!! it works!! and like i like to think that its a sort of representation of your subconscious. however!! its like a shared manifestation of everyone’s subconscious once they get access to it. 

its proven that its like a shared space because theres been implications of other people being there before Reggie, the main protagonist and like theres even an episode on this one kid who apparently has been there since like,, the 60s i think fghfhiubf i cant remember

which reminds me!! the place is like super wack!! like time is irrelevant there and the longer you stay there you kinda just,, let go of logic and just be one with how wack Endless is

like theres a whole episode on what happens exactly when you stay for just a few days continuously on endless and its fuckinf wild but good!!

also the logic in general of endless is basically!! nonexistent!! like there’s logic to small bits but theres no possible way to really link it all together to some form of coherent logic like most worlds

but i think if this is like a physical representation of the subconscious it makes sense because all your logic isnt really,, there?? so its gonna be wack!! and thats ok!! plus these are like 12 or 13 year old kids so its gonna be extra wack!!

i also like to think endless is like besides just a representation of the subconscious but also a way to represent childlike naiveness, immaturity, and creativity!! which explains how random it is

like and i mean random! theres a guy fieri penguin in there

but like!!! yeah!! 

tl;dr

endless is hella wack but neat and go watch twelve forever on netflix

[superemeralds]

I know that you're not fond of Sonic Boom. But if you could, how would you redo the Sonic Boom universe? Like would you make Shadow an ally of Sonic and friends, and make Lyric more of a constant threat? -- MadameMirage77

oh um. im really glad you like my worldbuilding and characterizhations but turning a whole series around is a lot of work dkjfakj and i have a lot to do as is so i can’t really invest a lot of energy on starting new projects

im not gonna say this bc i want to put off work on someone else, but what if YOU made your own boom universe? o: you have the power!!!

anyhow, i have a super quick ramble under the cut on the key things i would change in sonic boom to make it more coherent with the source material?? i guess?to be fair i only watched the cutscenes of rise of lyric and only half of the episodes in season 1

number 1 thing to change is FIXING KNUCKLES HOLY SHIT. hes not dumb and hes not a joke or punchline..... hes smart and dependable and ??? descendant of an ancient civilization????? ofc hes interested in ancient cultures and stuffs, even if boom knuckles isnt a treassure hunter

as for shadow, he needs a reworked actual backstory, bc boom shadow literally doesnt have a backstory as of now????? why is he edgy and angry all the time???? wheres the context???i say remove the weird edgy “you brought shame on all hedgehogs bc u cant build ikea furniture” and give him actual character; from there on one could initiate character development for him. id imagine that he gained his powers artificially but he doesnt quite remember how. he doesnt really remember much to begin with, except that he was taken advantage of many times and every time he realized and managed to flee he was hunted down and put back into submission. all he knows is that he doesnt want to go back to that life and he doesnt want to forget anymore. but those unclear blurry memories give him serious trust issues, anyone could be a foe. he wants to do things byhimself, because he can proove himself he doesnt need help and therefore justify his really unhealthy isolationhe doesnt want to admit it but he really needs help to uncover the truth of his existence, but i imagine that after a very complicated arc with the chaos crystals that includes him having to team up with sonic and friends makes him realize that it doesnt matter who he used to be and it only matters who he is now and what he does with his powers. (but he does find out the connection of his powers and the chaos crystals, just not how he got them and who gave them to him)

concerning lyric, id say his shock of the state of the world would be greater and he’d certainly be more persistent with his plan. it’s really similar to eggmans plan, so they could technically team up; while they both plan to overthrow the other and that’s where the flaw in their cooperation lies and sonic and team manage to beat them

[renryuz]

please dont come @ me for this but im just gonna say it

it's quite obvious that cyrus has a wildly different approach to supporting jonah and tj. (this is almost like a reverse of a post i made awhile ago about how they both go about supporting cyrus wow) and it just kind of became apparent to me.

so when jonah was like "i miss you being my superfan" or whatever the heck he said, cyrus obviously said what everyone knows "im a jonah superfan for life" (or whatever)

which, dont get me wrong, is adorable (seriously dont take this the wrong way because i absolutely love jyrus k thanks), but then a few seconds later when andi mentions yelling at tj he literally goes into defense mode like "why would we wanna do that?"

now, idk if its just me, but he is obviously showing support for them in a different way. jonah's seems a bit more superficial while tj's seems like its on a deeper level. now, i know you may be thinking i'm overthinking it a little, but he parallels these types of responses on other occasions.

so in the miniature golf episode, jonah says something along the lines of "im not very good at this," to which cyrus responds, "everyone's gonna love you." adorable, right? we love a supportive king. you know, jonah is being kind of open and cyrus encourages him.

now back to a walker to remember, and cyrus is looking at tj like dead in the eyes "there is nothing wrong with you." (got serious cyrus coming out vibes from that)

also, im not trying to speak for one ship or the other bc quite frankly im about done with everyone at each others throats for shipping certain people. i just observed that cyrus seems to have a fairly deep caring for someone who at the moment is not very Nice™ vs the person he has a canon crush on

and why exactly is this the case? maybe it has to do with how they met.

when cyrus officially talked to jonah, he wasnt jonah. he was Jonah Beck™. he was confident, always smiling, didnt have much going on. so, it would make sense for cyrus to not connect with him fully, bc to some extent he still sees jonah as this, when he clearly isnt. this is kind of something a lot of people have brought up though, so onto tj.

when they officially met, tj was super vulnerable. he was already sharing that he had something wrong with him, and was desperate for something to make him feel better. now, im not going to discuss the tj that exists outside of this scene, because that's a pretty messy topic right now. anyways, he established himself, to cyrus, as a vulnerable, open person. he made it clear he wasn't feeling great, and by the time cyrus had to leave he was already telling tj he "[knew] where to find [him]," almost like they'd been friends for a long time. so i think cyrus naturally felt the need to make sure he was okay.

well i'm done i think. this is really jumbled and probably not that coherent but i was just rambling so i hope it makes some sense.

[honeyroastedpeanus]

just some rambling but even though i virtually never write actual narratives and my essay skills arent the best, writing plays a huge part in my life. like i journal every night and in class i write super fuckign tiny and cover up every space that isnt notes with stories and task planning and thoughts because for me i cant make coherent trains of thought in my head longer than 10 seconds so writing it out helps a lot to gather my thoughts !! a lot of the time im like hrgrgrhh i never write and i feel bad about it when i literally write so much everyday its just not in the typical way ppl think of writing