#lex talking

[shehadthewrld]

im not political but if trump wins i will end it

[tims-missing-spleen]

(I like to think that) Lex Luthor gets clowned on by literally everyone, and Bruce is the absolute worst.

Like he'll attend an event and a literal millisecond later, Bruce will roll up and steal all the attention. And when they're inside, him or one of his crazy "children" will "accidentally" spill very red wine all over his expensive ass suit.

And what can Lex even do?

Last time he retaliated and mildly shoved Bruce, the man very dramatically flung himself across the room and fell straight into a table. He hadn't even gotten hurt- not a single bruise or cut- but that drama queen didn't appear in public for an entire month after the incident. The backlash Lex had gotten was so not worth it.

And it doesn't stop there. His kids join in on the "fun" and bully him too.

Tim permanently bans him from all the platforms owned by Wayne enterprisese, which is like borderline illegal, so Lex sues and somehow always loses.

Jason Duke and Steph team up and make it a game to throw things on his head without him realising. And when Luthor catches one of them, he can't even shout at them or whatnot cause hes actually scared shitless. Jason, the absolute tank of a man, just grins at him while placing his hands on the very noticeable gun at his hip. Duke and Steph stand on either side of him, gripping literal knives in their hands.

Damian just outright walks up to him and begins insulting him in a couple of different languages. He always gives Lex a final disgusted look before turning and walking off.

Dick might seem the sweetest, approaching him while smiling in that nice way of his. He's the worst, though, cause he always makes sure to bring a few reporters with him before he innocently starts outing Lex's latest evil scheme in front of the audience. He makes sure to bring solid evidence of the nefarious plans, but right at the end, he goes, "idk I could be wrong," before shrugging and walling off.

Cassandra doesn't do much, but she's definitely the scariest. Whenever Lex has had enough and is about to call a hit on Bruce, she appears out of nowhere, stares straight at him, and just shakes her head while saying, "No. Regret"

Basically, Lex Luthor, public enemy #1, gets (justifiably) bullied by the entirety of the human population (honestly, only the Waynes).

[emo-batboy]

A Wild Battinson (Social Media AU)

Part 42 (Masterlist)

(Part 43)

Good evening :) I hope y’all had a great Halloween

@bruciemilf hey bestie whats poppin

I actually don’t have much to say for this update. I’ve just been planning out the next two month’s worth of posts so that’s going to be fun. Have a great day and drink some water!

[bruciemilf]

Headcanon that, every year on their birthday, Kryptonians get new superpowers.

Clark doesn’t really keep track; That’s Bruce’s job, for the most part. This year? Mediumship.

me·​di·​um·​ship

/the capacity, function, or profession of a spiritualistic medium/

“Communication with spirits,” Bruce has this habit of nicking his thumb with his teeth, pretty, hazel eyes glossy with thought. Clark doesn’t need supervision to see how beautiful he is when his mind’s at work. “Fascinating.”

“Yep,”

Clark watches Thomas Wayne’s ghost give him the glare of the century behind his son’s back.

The skin of his jawline is entirely ripped off, peeled by Joe Chill’s gun, like the news article said. Sincerely, the Wayne glare scares Clark more.

“Fascinating.”

[frownyalfred]

say what you will about superbat vs clex, but at least Bruce wants to fuck Superman AND Clark Kent. Lex really can’t say the same, huh?

[arrowheadedbitch]

Hear me out, classic jl playing fmk

Green arrow: Oh, I'd definitely fuck Bruce Wayne, I mean, come on, are you kidding? And I guess kill Lex and marry, uhm, who was the last one? Marry Oliver Queen? Yeah, sure, I can work with that.

Superman: Well, erm, maybe we should play a different game, actually...

Green arrow: Oh, no, you're not getting out of this that easy

Batman: Can I take a shot at it?

Arrow: Holy shit, the bat actually having some fun? Hell yeah!!

Batman: I'd kill Bruce Wayne, I hate that guy.

Arrow: Woah, woah, hold up, why do you hate Bruce so much?

Batman: Shouldn't have let his parents die.

Everyone, sudden uproar of JESUS and BAT, WHAT THE HELL

Arrow: Wh-! Wait a minute...

Arrow: Bruce, is that you???

[fairyroses]

— Alex Lex Luthor & Jimmy Olsen in My Adventures With Superman, "More Things in Heaven and Earth" (2.01)

+ bonus:

[thepunkmuppet]

the possible future of the hatchetfield series: hatchetfield halloween party livestream full rundown

again apologies if someone has already done something like this, but I’m procrastinating doing my coursework and just want to talk about hatchetfield I want everyone to be aware of this exciting stuff that was announced in the stream so here you go:

the next starkid musical to be released will not be in the hatchetfield universe.

the guy who didn’t like musicals will soon be ready to license.

nightmare time 3 was originally planned to be released in the same year as nightmare time 2 and will wrap up the overarching nightmare time stories (which seem to be miss holloway and the foster sisters respectively).

if they did a fourth hatchetfield musical, it would be about miss holloway and her backstory. it is already written. I am very very extremely normal about this fact 😃

there is a possibility of a hatchetfield movie, and workin’ boys was sort of a test for this concept. it would be a slasher murder mystery centering around the hatchetfield community players (zoey chambers and the cast of workin’ girls, possibly also with ruth, hidgens, alice and any other theatre-oriented characters but that part’s just my speculation). the transcription of the teaser description can be found below the nmt descriptions.

ok so here are the transcriptions of the nmt3 episode descriptions:

Story #1: Bottle Imps

Bill Woodward has been chosen to test CCRP’s latest and greatest product; Bottle Imps. These reality-bending buddies will bring their owner the one thing they desire most. When his new imp, Lovely, leads him to his soulmate, Bill decides to use his magical companion to play matchmaker. But to help Charlotte find the man of her dreams, Bill will have to bend the Imp’s rules. Rules he’s been warned, must never be broken…

Story #2: Frankenruth

Desperate to see a naked body, Ruth Fleming and Richie Lipschitz volunteer at the morgue of St. Damien’s Hospital. Their terrible plan becomes exponentially more terrible, when they become unwitting subjects in the experiments of the body-snatching madman, Doctor Laszlo, who claims to have conquered death itself. If Hatchetfield thought Ruth was bad before, then they will cower before the unspeakable horror of… Frankenruth!

Story #3: Becky Barnes Climbed a Tree

Becky Barnes is on top of the world! Not in a literal sense, of course. She’s deathly afraid of heights. After years of struggle, Becky’s life is finally everything she dreamed it would be. She’s engaged to her high school sweetheart, Tom Houston, and the two have a surprise baby on the way! But, as the couple prepare for the arrival of baby Marie, a shadow from Becky’s past returns to haunt them.

Story #4: Devil’s Night

Tim Houston has a crush. Unfortunately, it’s on his older, mature and totally cool babysitter, Grace Chasity, who he fears will never see him as anything but a snot-nosed little kid. But when a devilish maniac with murderous designs on Grace attacks Hatchetfield the night before Halloween, Tim must protect his beloved, or join the killer’s growing body count. It’s another slashing adventure on the night HE came home… Devil’s Night.

Story #5: (long special episode) Miss Holloween

It’s Halloween in Hatchetfield once again, and Miss Holloway is celebrating the same way she’s done for decades, staving off the horrors that go bump in the night. But when Duke gives her an invitation to his wedding, the dejected Miss Holloway begins to chafe under the terms of a contract forged many years ago. She strikes a new bargain, but unfortunately her creditors are known for their tricks, not treats. Just as Miss Holloway gives up her powers in exchange for a mortal life, a monstrous new threat rears its ugly head. As All Hallows Eve descends, and all Hell breaks loose, Miss Holloway must save the town or die trying… for real this time.

Story #6: (long special episode / season finale) Orb Weaver

Lex Foster had a life once. A home. A boyfriend. Now there is only the road, and her sister, and the fear of the men who are hunting them. As Hannah Foster watched Lex sink deeper into despair, she is certain of only three things: Webby is gone. She cannot help them. They are alone. Elsewhere, an old soldier awakens from a catatonic state. Returned from some unimaginable Hell with a mission. He knows that somewhere, two magical girls require immediate evac… then maybe some coffee.

very important: if you want nightmare time 3, WATCH NIGHTMARE TIME 2. BUY A TICKET TO THE LIVESTREAM. SHOW THAT THERE IS LOVE AND DEMAND AND IT’S WORTH THEIR TIME AND MONEY I AM BEGGING YOU

hatchetfield movie: Cast Party Massacre

The Hatchetfield Community Players. You will never find a cattier troupe of two-faced thespians. But when the blood begins to flow at their latest show’s cast party, they must consider: is there a secret murderer in their midst? And more importantly, who amongst them is a good enough actor to pull off such a performance? Can they set aside their petty squabbles and tangled romances, or is it curtains for this ensemble? Who will survive… the Cast Party Massacre!

[anxi04]

Tim meeting Lex at a gala when he’s young. and becoming gossip besties with him

i finally wrote it after it infesting my brain enjoy

——————-

Tim thought the gala was going to be like most of the others, boring, annoying, nothing happening. And then he saw Lex Luthor. And he's a smart man, probably the only other smart person in here so why not start a conversation?

Lex thought this gala was going to be boring and a waste of time. And then this small child comes up to him talking about gossip that he didn't even know? And mentioning his incredibly secret cloning project he just started a week ago? He's going to be a villain and Lex wants to be on his good side.

————————

Tim sighed, annoyed. Gala's have always been incredibly boring, the only slightly fun things that happen at them have been either Bruce Wayne "tripping" over something and drenching someone else with whatever drink or liquid is near, or overhearing gossip, such as Robert Dewitt cheating on his wife with his brother. That was a fun day.

This gala is looking to be about the same as always, just even more boring. Bruce Wayne isn't attending (understandable, The Joker just broke out of Arkham again. He's sure there's a cover story for why Bruce isn't here but he doesn't care about that), no one is drawing attention to any scandals yet, or at least not in his ear range.

The only vaguely interesting thing here is Lex Luthor actually attending it for once. The man usually never spares a moment for anything aside from Metropolis (disgusting) and Superman. So there's at least one other smart person here but he also happens to be a super-villain (not that the general public knows) so… Not like Tim can just walk up to him and talk right?

"So as I was saying it really is quite unfortunate that your son won't take the company, I always thought he was a rather charming young man-" Fuck it Tim's gonna go talk to the super-villain.

"Have you heard about Rebecca Strawling?" Tim asks Lex, who absolutely did NOT jump at this child sneaking up behind him (seriously how did he do that? Even Superman, a man who constantly floats, can't sneak up on him.). Lex blinks for a second because, yes he had and holy shit what a thing that is, and also how does this child know? Also why is this child talking to him?

"That… Depends. What have you heard?" Lex says hesitantly. Despite Rebecca's… everything, she still hid it incredibly well. If Lex wasn't so bored at these gala's he would never have known, so either this child is just incredibly nosy, or possibly an actual smart person in this room. Either option would prove far more interesting than what he had been doing.

"Well I've heard about the several affairs she's had with everyone she claims to hate. Business rivals, the poor, queer people, her husband's family, and if it's to be believed her own family." And… Holy fuck, Lex had not been aware of that last bit. He raises an eyebrow at the ending which prompts a slight grin from the child as he takes his phone out. "I have evidence."

Does Lex actually… Enjoy being near a kid barely in the double digits? Absurd.

"You know Tim, that man over there? He's almost bankrupting his company and family by sending their money to a 'client.' I believe all his business partners are looking for someone to replace his spot." It's been an hour and a half. This is the most entertained Lex has been at one of these in decades. If Tim finds himself following the black hair, blue eyes orphan trend Lex will take him in himself so help him God. He's insanely smart, not only is he excellent at reading people and finding dirt on them easily, he's incredibly skilled at hacking without any proper training on it. This is a villain in the making and Lex will not let himself fall on his bad side.

"Now, I have a moral question for you Tim. What do you think the ethics on making a weapon out of a clone would be?" He's been toying with the idea of cloning Superman lately, however the actual… Making it a weapon has been bothering him. If it comes out an adult man it could easily decide it wants to do something else and rebel, however what would the effects be on making a child weapon that was created for that sole purpose? The effectiveness of it?

"Easy. Don't make the clone a weapon. It's either an adult clone who could choose to be a soldier, and actually listen to you, or decide it won't listen and possibly end up exposing you. If it's a child clone then sure you get a weapon for a few years but not having a choice would end up making them resent you. Give them a choice on it, just like the Sidekicks, like Robin, Kid Flash, Speedy, all them. I'd assume you would want a meta clone anyway and most meta's feel a sense of duty with their abilities so it'd be likely for them to decide something along what you want. Just a matter on if they like you and go with you, or turn to the other side." Tim answers without missing a beat and wow what a concerning sentence that would be to hear from a child if he were anyone else. As it is he's delighted by the response.

"Although cloning a Kryptonian would probably alter it, simply wouldn't get enough material so you would likely have to substitute some of the material for human and at that point use your own and raise the clone as a child." What. That's far too specific. "Oh, sorry I probably should've kept it more broad. Anyway you should update your security systems." Definitely a super-villain in the making. One that he very much wants to be on the good side of. On that note now he needs to update his whole system.

"Ah, Tim I'm glad you picked up. I'm a father now! I'd like you to meet my son, his name is Kon-El-"

"Oh, I've already met him. You actually interrupted our call. Kinda late on telling me." Of course.

"You know I could adopt you as well, get you from that bumbling buffoon that is Wayne."

"Yeah but then my crush would become incestuous." His what? Know what he can work with this. Tim is joining his family one way or another.

Finally. A moment of peace for Lex to sit down, drink some coffee, and watch a rerun of his favorite show. "Luthor!" Oh great, the boy scout here to ruin his plans. Oh and is that his group for comic-con? There's the man of steel himself, Wonder Woman, Batman and… Wait. Oh this will piss Kal-El off to be ignored.

"Timothy! I was just about to call you. You remember Robert Dewitt, correct? You'll never guess what he's done now." Lex grins, standing up. He was meaning to update Tim on this particular… Creature. He's one of their favorites to catch up on, purely because of the absurdity of his debauchery. Although this time does have a reason, after all there's reason for dear old Robert to get locked up this time and he's been making some comments about Lex lately and well he can't just let that slide now can he?

Tim blinks for a second then realizes what Lex just said. "Wait you know? Of course you do why wouldn't you.. Actually wait that doesn't matter what the fuck did Robert do? Last I knew he wasn't allowed outside without an escort so I was expecting longer." Lex has a feeling it does in fact matter very much if the way Batman's eyes narrow and his jaw clench indicate anything. Lex needs to continue on or possibly get put in a hospital.

"Oh he's no longer allowed near animal shelters, so-" Kal-El cuts him off, incredibly rudely if he might add.

"What… What is going on here?" Poor man sounds so confused. Lex is savoring this moment.

"Well I know Timothy Drake is Red Robin. Clearly. Red Robin is the hero closest to becoming a villain which fits Tim quite well, and also Tim is the only Gothamite smart enough to be Red Robin. And infuriating enough to personally annoy Ra's al-Ghul on a regular." It's very simple honestly. Lex has no idea what's making this so complicated. "If it helps make you all feel 'safe' and 'secure' I could tell you about the time Timothy told me he had a crush on Kon-" And now Tim's thrown something at him. What is this, interrupt Lex day?

"Shut up! What if I told them about you and Clark Kent?" Ahh, expose his crush, get his own crush exposed. Well unfortunately Lex has no shame about that.

"You mean the man who could lift a 200 lb person with no effort? One of the very few good reporters?" Odd that Kal-El's face is getting red and confused but oh well. "Honestly though, who cares. You know Tim my offer for adopting you still stands. I know it must be absurdly easy to hide being Red Robin from your… family. However I think I could be of more assistance still." Batman's hands are clenching now. Interesting. "I mean you made a fake uncle to get out of being adopted by the oaf, I don't know why you didn't just let me." Ah, Batman's hands are unclenched. He must have thought that uncle was also real. Surprising, really, from 'The World's Greatest Detective' however they clearly have the wrong bat. "And does he even know about your missing spleen? Really, I should get him locked up for child neglect. Even I would notice if anything happened to Kon-El."

Tim's eyes widen at that and snap to Batman's equally wide eyes. They both jump into a sprint, Tim leaping out of a window with the Bat close behind. "Oh, did he not know? Oops."

Perfect. Hopefully that'll have been absurd enough that the Justice League leave him alone, and he can watch his show in peace.

[scribesoflex]

hiya! Can I request a smut of Ethan carving his name into the readers leg and then accidentally cumming inside but the reader doesn’t really mind It

my oh my

pairing; fem!reader x ethan landry

warnings; cock warming, pet names, unprotected sex, pain kink (?), name carving, lil blood, cream pie, unedited so spelling & grammar errors.

a/n; title inspo here :9 this is shorter than I’d like it be but what can ya do!? anyways, hope u like! enjoyyyyy xx

You’re not sure how you ended up this position. Or actually, you totally are. You were a fool to trust Ethan when he’d slipped into your bed, hands wandering your body, begging in a quiet voice to feel you. Just wanna be in you, I promise. He’d said, and the warmth from his breath on your neck mixed with the smell of his sweat and cologne had made you a a little dizzy, so you mindlessly agreed.

Now? Well now you’re back is pressed to your wall, and your legs are thrown over Ethan’s, because he’s sat infront of you - and kind of below you, with his cock stuffed inside of you, and his hands holding your thigh down as he traces a thin needle along the soft and untouched skin.

The pain is faint, similar to getting a tattoo, but you still find yourself squirming as he begins the last letter of his name; almost carved into your skin completely. You’re sure when it heals it’ll scar but eventually fade, and that’s the only reason you agreed when Ethan muttered the idea into your ear - but with the way your pussy clenches everytime the needle tears your skin, you’re beginning to think the pain is what has your pussy leaking around the base of his huge cock.

“It’s gonna look so good baby, I’m almost finished” eathan coos, cock twitching inside of you, pulsating at how you whine his name, rolling your hips gently, pussy suctioning around his cock like a vice.

His hands shake as he finishes off the last letter, humming as he tosses the needle away, and when he mumbles that he’s done - you find yourself mewling at the sight, blood dribbling down from the fresh letters, skin stinging and tingling.

“Will you let me?” You ask, shifting forward to straddle him, wincing at the feeling of his skin against your own. His hips jut up into you, cock head caressing the sweet spot deep inside of you, and you cry out.

He laughs under his breath, nose knocking against yours as you begin to shakily bounce up and down on his cock “I’d wear your name around my neck if you asked” he smiles into your mouth, relishing in the way wetness seeps down his balls with every word he speaks.

When that coil begins to wind in his tummy and he feels his cock begin to twitch he knows he’s about to cum, his hands gripping your love handles harshly, lips parting in warning — but you continue to bounce on him with no intention to stop, and before he can say anything he feels himself come undone. His cock twitches and pulsates inside of you, thick white ropes of semen coating your gummy walls, gushing out around the base of his cock when you hit your own high, gushing down his balls and staining your comforter.

“Oh shit baby- I didn’t mean to-“

Your lips cut him off, kissing him gently and longingly, fingers cradling his face gently as you pull away and smile at him sweetly “it’s fine e, been wanting you to cum inside anyways” you shrug, and he finds the words insanely hot, soft cock seemingly standing back to life — already ready for round two.

[shehadthewrld]

okay gonna watch jackass now i need a cure

[arkangelo-7]

The idea of Damian Wayne being Gen Alpha is actually the bane of my existence. Like, this little sword-wielding menace who speaks like eight languages and can quote Tacticus or something just going ham on a villain then saying “skibidi toilet rizz” before unironically hitting the griddy makes me want to kill myself

[caycanteven]

"You are a stubborn little thing, do you know that?"

"I do. Though, would you have me any different?"

"No, I would not."

"Why?"

"I would miss the way your soul burns with passion for what you believe in."

"How romantic. Anything else?"

"...and with how adorable it is that you think you can challenge me."

"Ah, there it is."

[fictiongods]

Honestly I’ve just realized that so much of the second half of season five was just Kara and Lena being angry at each other, but they hardly were ever in the same room. Like they have maybe three? scenes together after Kara got over her guilt and were angry together? Like so much of that is just them being gay disasters and bringing each other up all the time 😭 literally:

Alex: “So how was your date with Will—”

Kara: “Awful! You know I had to lie to him just like with Lena, and my relationship with her is ruined! She hates me and won’t talk to me!! You know I was only trying to protect her and she just won’t listen to me and…”

Alex, trying very hard not to out Kara to herself: “Yes, this must be very hard for you.”

Additionally:

Lex: “So, is Non Nocere working any better yet?”

Lena: “Not really but I’m still working on it, and y’know Supergirl has such a big problem with it. She is always thinking the worst of me! She lied to me, and is mad at me for me finding out! I mean what kind of deceitful person does that. She’s just so…”

Lex, venomously: “Yes yes very deceiving can we made the damn MIND CONTROL THING WORK SO I CAN RULE THE WORLD— I mean make people less violent that’s what I want :))

[jesncin]

Love the S:TAS inspiration for Brainiac. Also love the Jenova/Glados vibes he had

Thank you! I'm not familiar with Jenova (though looking it up that's absolutely the right vibe) but I would love it if Brainiac had a potato arc like Glados did.

[mamawasatesttube]

im sleepy so i can't put my finger on the punch line exactly but there is a joke to be made about how fanon batman is actually just canon lex luthor. like think about it:

racist against metas and aliens

really controlling over who can associate with his daughter

not just rich but also famous and very recognizable in pop culture

obsessed with coming up with ways to take superman down, to the point of always carrying kryptonite

... and (probably) more!