#kane…

[whump-queen]

emergency medical care but it’s a bunch of captive vampires being brought in to clean up the blood and heal the skin of the wounded with their tongues.

[aquariumfaguncle]

he's fighting a beautiful buff lady. her shirt gets ripped and she's left in her slutty little tank top. "come on," you think. "why is the woman always wearing sexier things than her male counterparts." but fear not. now HE takes off his shirt and he's left in HIS slutty little tank top. equality. and then they kiss

[everwalldigan]

Bruce: *waking up in a hospital that he drove himself to after having a heart attack and telling absolutely nobody* hey…

The entirety of the batclan looking over him with Dick in the centre, an absolute terrifying grin on his face:

Dick: hello Bruce, nice evening isn’t it? Got something to share with us?

Edit: the fic is now out on ao3! https://archiveofourown.org/works/57780508

[maleness-addict]

kane fox

[heyyallitssatan]

I like to think that Batman’s suit is really heavy

Like, the thing obviously Kevlar weave, with lots of armour reinforced bits, not to mention all of the gear and gadgets and tools he has on his person, I mean, anything he’s ever thought he may need, anything he’s been mid fight thinking that a particular tool would be useful, he has it somewhere, probably a few of them

And all the kids too, they’re equally equipped even if they don’t necessarily look it

So I like to imagine that some of the heroes decided they should do a costume switch for fun

The bats agreed, and the best part wasn’t them being weirded out like they thought they’d be, unmasked and all that, no, they couldn’t care less, instead everyone else is freaking out about how heavy the bats costumes are

How the hell do they do impossible feats of acrobatics wearing shit like this

Even the supers think it’s excessive, and they have super strength

The bats all take the opportunity to try some of their moves without the weight, given that they work out wearing even more weight

Turns out they can flip and jump and move in even more insane ways than anyone thought possible and everyone is more terrified than they were a few minutes ago

Everyone decides the bats are better with their gadgets

[mongreldyke]

nothin' quite like how a dog loves

let dead dogs lie - silas denver melvin // red dog - elizabeth frink // how to be a dog - andrew kane // domestication syndrome - dhole b // no origin found // for your own good - leah horlick // it will come back - hozier // pleasure - beth cavener // i am a dog. i have blood all over my teeth. - sciencedfiction // same poem as directly previous

[theendlessnessofbeingme]

At a justice league meeting discussing a major threat and if they should tell the public

Bruce: We don’t want to be causing an international crisis. I suggest we keep this information to only a select few individuals outside this room

At the Batcave

Bruce: News flash, we’re screwed

Jason: I knew it! I told you all that those lights weren’t just a league training gone wrong!

[noassamoas]

headcanon that alfred does not know what to get bruce for his birthday anymore, the man literally basically has everything. So, whenever he finds something that Bruce has lost, he hold onto it, and gifts it back. Everytime, Bruce is like “omg alfred, where did you find this?? Its been missing forever thank you ur the best”

nobody says anything whether they figure it out or not

[theaceofarrows]

Gotham citizen memes

[blink182times]

Kane chronicles news!

[shuteyeshuttle]

Kid : I know Greek, Norse, and Egyptian mythology

Me : I smell Rick Riordan

[incorrectbatfam]

How small must the world be for both Bruce and Tim to witness John and Mary Grayson's deaths

Or for 10-year-old Duke to crack the Riddler's puzzle before Batman swoops in and saves the day, long before his powers came into play

Or for Sheila Haywood to leave her son only to end up assisting his killer a decade and a half later

Not to mention the popular fanon concept of Jason knowing baby Damian in the League of Assassins

Now imagine how many other invisible strings could've tied them together

Like what if Tim and Jason went to the same school when Jason was Robin but all they shared was the occasional bump and "excuse me" in the busy halls

Or what if Babs was a tutor and helped an elementary-aged Steph finally understand her homework only for the Browns to cancel after a couple sessions because they couldn't afford it

What if the first person to buy Cass a hot meal was Kate on one of her travels

What if Alfred witnessed young Selina shoplifting groceries but chose to turn a blind eye

What if Jason lived on the same streets as the Row siblings and gave little Harper tips on how to use tools and defend her brother

What if Steph and Duke shared the same school bus, only he sat in the front while she was toward the back

What if the first person to teach Tim how to tie his shoes was Bruce at a gala because Jack and Janet were busy talking to someone important

What if Bette did a DNA test for fun and found a connection in Nanda Parbat but just assumed the results was faulty because she knew her whole family, right?

What if 8-year-old Dick, the day before his parents died, stayed at a cheap hotel near Crime Alley and found 4-year-old Jason wandering alone and said, "I'll be your big brother for tonight"

What if the universe knew they were made for each other and wouldn't rest until they realized it too

[onnahu]

Batfam but make them youtubers - their most popular videos

Bruce: How To Get Your Own Child - sex not required

Alfred: Family Dinner Vlog (everyone's alive)

Kate: How to get a girlfriend in 8 steps - tutorial

Dick: I'm not like my dad, haters!

Babs: wtf Gotham - a compilation

Jason: how to sever 8 heads in 30 minutes (hypothetically)

Cass: go scare the shit out of people with me

Tim: how I became Batman's therapist

Steph: looking for my ex's spleen day 179

Damian: stealing the batmobile pt. 82

Duke: how i became a gang leader at 13

[amorkuku]

I have lots of questions about my fan au, i hope this helps a bit : ) !

[wise-blue-cookies]

All members of the batfam share their taste in partners -

Goddess like dangerous knife woman who u wish to have ur neck snapped between their thighs

Pathetic mew mew men