#jim kirk meta

[anewstartrekfan]

Reading an old Star Trek book and to my surprise Jim Kirk has always had Daddy issues

So the only Star Trek book I’ve read was the one explaining how the tribbles episode was made and the aftermath, so trying to read Enterprise (1986) with some basic knowledge of trek post 2009 is fascinating. Cuz you see where the breadcrumbs of some of the characterization and even backstory come from.

In chapter 2, Sam Kirk and Kirk’s mom show up to Kirk’s ceremony where he takes command of the enterprise. They talk about George Kirk Sr. being in Starfleet, (he’s dead here too) something that I don’t think was in any of the episodes or movies. And how he was always distant and away. And they’re clearly going for some parallels/dramatic irony with the Wrath of Khan when it comes to Kirk not believing he could’ve developed a relationship with his father as an adult. And it plays into the tragic aspect I love about Kirk.

Upon reflection he’s happy that Carol rejected him (he proposed to her in chapter 1) because he doesn’t want to leave anyone behind while on the job, only returning for sparse visits the way his father did. But at the same time, Jim craves companionship. And he can’t get it in his current job because as captain, it is not ethical for him to date anyone else on the Enterprise.

Anyway the long and short is if we take this book into account, Kirk has always had daddy issues. It’s just in TOS EU it was abandonment issues whereas in 2009 it was dad sacrificed himself so high expectations issues.

The little details like the mom’s name getting carried over into the aos movies are a good touch, but then seeing George Kirk being a Starfleet officer actually get incorporated into the 2009 movie as an important plot point, and then also using his absence in Kirk’s life but just in a different way as part of Kirk’s backstory is so cool to me.

A difference though is unlike fanfic tropes, Winona is actually a good mom and wants Jim to succeed in his career where his father failed in his Starfleet career. Unfortunately though Jim appears to be falling into the same pitfalls. As in lack of communication and unwillingness to play workplace politics.

That last burn from Winona tho… like damn girl I felt that.

Another thing I want to backtrack to, Sam Kirk. Sam being the alleged chosen child, the one that was supposed to follow in George Kirk’s footsteps but didn’t, and then Jim strolled in and did even more than what Sam was supposed to do, and Sam and George never reconciled. Like dudes this book is almost 40 years old and this stuff was in strange new worlds last year. Tho xenobiology appears to have morphed into xenoanthropology (tho according to the fan wiki he’s still a biologist so idk what the deal is)

For the record Sam’s characterization isn’t remotely the same here. Likely the choice to keep him out of Starfleet all together removed any sort of resentment of Jim potential like he has in SNW. There’s still tension though, as Sam tries to force Jim to confront why he’s reacting like this to his first mission for the enterprise being an escort job for a flying horse.

Shifting gears back to Jim needing to learn how to play workplace politics. The assumed reason for Pike leaving the enterprise. While SNW is doing the whole, Pike knows he won’t fly the enterprise forever and about the disfigurement and is cool with it, I find if fascinating that he’s more, sad about it here and that he got promoted out of the way for pushing too many buttons. It would be a sad ending but I wonder if SNW would incorporate that into its eventual ending. Hell I wonder if that’s what happened to Kirk between TOS and TMP.

Anyway big picture is this book is a fascinating time capsule and it’s fun seeing just how much has stuck around over the years both in fandom and in the franchise itself. Whether or not that’s the book’s doing is questionable but still. Fun to think about.

[spirkme915]

i think this ^^^ (especially the "keep reading" part) is why tarsus consistently shows up in my fics. i have a pancreatic disorder that requires a highly restricted diet and (sometimes) going days without eating anything, or weeks with eating very, very little. starvation mode and i are well acquainted.

food and shared meals are so ingrained in human culture. you know that idea "even if we don't share a language, we can share a meal"? yeah, it's not like that for everyone, and i think about that a lot when it comes to jim.

the thing about longterm hunger is that it changes a person mentally and physically. and, for me at least, in ways that i only talk about with the people closest to me.

i can absolutely see bones and spock being the ONLY people jim would trust with his food complexities.

One potential Tarsus IV side effect that I don't think I've seen much of is Kirk not really having hunger cues.

This would mean that Kirk might forget meals regularly, especially when particularly busy or dealing with crises. A high-tension week may pass, and Kirk will look back on it and realize that he ate about ten meals during that six or seven day stretch, and oops, he's really rather lightheaded now, but if he tries to eat a full meal he'll definitely make himself sick. so he has to start with, like. One Cracker and a glass of water, and slowly build up to real food again.

Spock and Bones, upon learning this about him, would be mother hens. They would take it upon themselves to make sure he eats, both by coercing Kirk to take meal breaks, and by carrying around ration bars and fruit.

Spock would be able to Tell whenever Kirk forgot to eat breakfast and would silently hand him some kind of snack, which Kirk would then sheepishly accept. If he decided they'd all been on the bridge for too long, he'd send a yeoman to pick up sandwiches for everyone, and he'd forgive Chekov for smearing mayo on his controls, because if everyone else was eating, Kirk would remember, too. He'd bring out grazing-food, like a cheese board or nuts, during their chess matches that Kirk could snack on. (and then he'd do his very best not to blush when Kirk licked his fingers clean.)

Bones would help Kirk set up and maintain meal schedules and plans, and make sure that he got all the nutrition he needs even during bad eating weeks (by hypo-ing at abandon, if need be, though he'd prioritize Actual Food). He'd mandate meal-breaks, and physically drag Kirk down to the mess, if necessary.

Both of them would make a point to eat meals with Kirk whenever possible, because it's harder to forget when you've got company. Whenever either Spock or Bones was busy or otherwise out-of-commission, the other would become doubly diligent about taking meals with Kirk. (If Kirk was sitting at Spock's side in sickbay, McCoy would bring meals to the bedside and would eat with him, ignoring his "don't bring food to sickbay" rule.)

(Personally, I like the idea of Spock later becoming known around Starfleet Academy for always having food available for hungry cadets. His desk would constantly be stocked with fourteen different types of ration bars just to make certain he had something available for everyone with specific dietary needs, and any time a cadet forgot breakfast or lunch, they'd know they could go to him. McCoy would offer the same to his patients.)

(Sorry, I'm going to talk about the side effects of starvation for a minute underneath here, don't read if that's rough on you. It's not graphic. I wrote all that out before realizing that it wasn't really necessary for my little fandom post, but didn't want to just. delete it.)

(also, please note that I'm not a food scientist or expert. this is all generally correct, to the best of my knowledge, but I'm not going to promise that I've got the correct terminology, nor am I going to claim that I know better than anyone else)

If you skip a meal or two, or you just don't get enough to eat, you get hungry. Your stomach growls and aches, and it generally kinda sucks. It's a constant discomfort, because you body is telling you, "Hey, I need food. Now, ideally."

If you continue not eating, or not getting enough to eat, though - your body adapts. It knows that saying, "I'm hungry!" isn't doing much. It assumes that there isn't food for you to eat, because if there was, surely you'd be eating it. And, well, it's a little pointless to have an alarm going "Eat now, eat now!" when you can't.

So it stops sending hunger cues.

You don't feel 'hungry' anymore, in the classic sense, at least. You still need food, but your stomach doesn't hurt. Maybe you feel a bit lightheaded, or a bit hollow, but you're not constantly aching. This is part of starvation mode.

For as long as you continue not getting enough food, this stays true. When you are once again consistently eating the amount your body needs, eventually, you will come out of starvation mode. Your body will resume hunger cues.

Except, sometimes it doesn't.

Sometimes, even when you're able to eat as much as you need once again, your hunger cues just. Don't come back. You forget to eat a meal? You might not even notice, because you didn't get hungry about it. It becomes hard to tell when you need food because you don't get hungry.

This means that you have to be careful about keeping on top of things. It becomes really easy to slip back into poor eating habits - even if your original bad eating habits were manufactured by poor circumstance. You might need eating schedules, or food that's less draining to prepare, or to start going to restaurants, but you have to find some way to manage it to stay healthy.

[wwillywonka]

rewatching where no man has gone before and it's wild how different spock's characterisation is in this versus the rest of the series. like i know logically (haha) that the episode was so early that the show and nimoy didn't really have a grasp on the character yet (made evident by the "one of my ancestors married a human woman" line), but it also strikes me that this is technically kirk's first episode in timeline (production) order, meaning jim and spock have barely started to get to know each other. it's obvious from the chess game that they're already very close and likely have been joined at the hip since their very first meeting, so i like to think that spock is almost, ya know, giddy at this point, adjusting to the comforting warmth and joy and security he feels just by being around jim all the time because it's all so new, because he's never had anything like this before. spock likes jim so much and so immediately and wants to get to know him better and feels safe enough around him to let jim get to know him better, too. the interaction at the end, "i felt for him, too" and "there might be some hope for you yet, mr. spock." followed by a very not-subtle, fond smile from our dear vulcan first officer, just stands out so much against the rest of the series. young spock and his brand new blossoming crush for his captain and he hasn't gotten to the point where he's afraid of those feelings yet, just basking in how nice it feels to have a proper friend. so damn cute. it fills me with butterflies.

[teacup-gathering-itself]

The depth of Kirk being a big himbo in his slut era all the time in a very overt human way, while also being a huge nerd brainiac supercomputer on legs.

Contrasting Spock, who is a supercomputer on legs, but ALSO a big himbo in his slut era in a very overt Vulcan way.

Proof: He is so TOUCHY with his captain. He lets touch be a staple in their relationship and just. Doesn’t mention its significance to his culture. Lets people think it’s just him “putting up with” his captain. To non-Vulcans, sure that excuse works. But any Vulcan with working eyes knows what he’s up to. They’re silently scandalized.

[spirk-trek]

trying not to think about how balance of terror ends with jim trying to comfort a member of his crew who just lost the man she was about to marry

then in the next episode we see one of his "fondest wishes, either old ones you wish to relive or new ones," and it's his first love, ruth who I'm PRETTY sure is dead

he doesn't do any of his usual kirk things, doesn't go for the kiss or the charm, just stares at her in awe, wonder, shock... confusion. and it must've crossed his mind then, right? the lieutenant who died on his watch, causing the same pain he had gone through with ruth... were they engaged too? was he going to marry her?

and i'm definitely NOT thinking about how after bones is killed, his desire changes back to his academy bully, but instead of venting out an old rivalry he gets his ass kicked (how often do we see captain james t kirk beaten like this just from a fistfight??)

his fondest desire is punishment, for not being able to save ruth, for losing bones, for being the reason that poor girl lost her love, for everyone else he hasn't been able to save

i'm not thinking about it i swear i'm not i would never (lie)

[woman-of-many-fandoms]

That letter took my heart off and stomped on it. Also, what is the sign off before the signature where love is crossed out. I'm sure it's not Butt, (is it best?)

I'm currently reading The Autobiography of James T. Kirk and it has pictures!

This looks like a family photo tbh.

This is so cute. I love Edith.

A letter to David that Kirk never sent. He mentions that kid in A Piece of The Action. Sorry it's kind of blurry.

Kirk's travel pass for his trip to Tarsus IV.

A picture of Carol Marcus and David when he was two and the camping trip in The Final Frontier.

[doyouwanttoseeabug]

Star Trek crew but they're all different species hear me out:

Jim - Jim has to remain human. He's the humanist human around, and also there is infinite comedy in the idea of a bunch of other species making exhausted eye contact whenever he pulls his bullshit.

Spock remains Vulcan obviously.

I initially thought Tellarite Bones BUT I think Andorian Bones fits better. Adding an extra-spicy layer to his Thing with Spock if their grandparents were literally shooting at each other. Every time Jim is Extremely Jim, Bones pulls out the ushaan-tor with a Dammit Jim I'm a doctor not a duellist but DON'T TEMPT ME

Romulan Uhura. No listen, trust me on this. Escaping from the Romulan empire because her love of languages leads her to a love of other cultures and a fiercely anti-imperialist anti-hegemonic stance. Her poise and calm comes from a lifetime of lying to the Tal Shiar, who were aggressively trying to recruit her before she joined Starfleet. How did she become an expert in diplomacy? Well her favourite childhood hobby was not getting dissapeared by the state so the rest came naturally.

Klingon Rand was revealed to me in a dream.

SCOTTY is the Tellarite. Jim rings down to engineering all meek like "hello Scotty can you tell me why the "ship is about to explode" light is flashing" and Scotty's like your mother was a leper and your father was a clown. Yeah the engines are fucked.

Chekov is Orion for The Angst TM

I know I KNOW that the Federation hadn't made contact with the Cardassians in TOS but Cardassian Sulu. He's so nice and smiley and polite :) and he's just saying Captain that if you want anyone poisoned I might know a guy :) the guy is me, Captain :)

I really wanted a Ferengi on here but no one fits so. Ferengi Chapel I guess. She's actually incredibly nice and way more professional than Bones but occasionally there's a gleam in her eyes and you just know she's thinking Oh, if I wanted to, I could rip these suckers off.

[dustykneed]

prompt fill for @mcspirkevents' mcspirk bingo prompt "who did this to you?"

[thomas-jefferson-miku-binder]

Something about how Jim became so accustomed to Starfleet parlance that it’s the only parlance he can speak at all. Something about how his relationship with his ship and his work as Captain extends to language as well, to the way he handles and expresses his emotions.

Amok Time – Kirk is confronted with the fact Spock keeps a dangerous secret that, if not shared, might end up with his first officer killed

The Apple – With the landing party marooned on a strange planet and the USS Enterprise being pulled ever closer to the ground, Kirk asks Scotty something beyond excellence.

The Doomsday Machine – Commodore Matt Decker stands in the maw of a monster with a dead crew and stripped of any will to live. Kirk tries to bring his old friend to reason, but nothing else can be done for Decker as he looks death in the eye.

I understand how, especially in the third instance with Matt Decker, he might've seemed cold (your buddy is about to off himself, and you remind him the higher-ups spent too much money on his formation), but I see it more as Kirk trying to ground both himself and his friend (who is also a Commodore, might I remind you) than simply reducing Decker to his position.

It also accidentally reveals a lot about Jim (although reveal is not the best word, as that same thought has been explored in numerous episodes before), how much his sense of worth is tied to his job—to how well he can perform and excel at it.

But that's not all he's saying. In both instances (Amok Time and Doomsday Machine), Kirk puts himself in the Federation's place because he sees its recognition as more valuable, more "worth living for" than his own.

It's his way, the way of a man who knows no life other than that of servitude, of saying I care about you, and I don't want to lose you.

It's really tragic that it is not enough to save Decker. If both Matt and Jim share the belief (which appears more often than not in Starfleet overachievers) that your inner worth is tied to how well you can perform it, Matt is left face to face with the rather morbid fact that he failed severely and his whole crew is dead because of it.

To sin is human, yes, but if the Doomsday Machine is the Devil, as the Commodore himself put it, it truly is a shame Decker did not view himself as deserving of forgiveness

[woman-of-many-fandoms]

THIS

anyways i rewatched star trek: into darkness last night and something something does anyone else get just how profound it is that the movie kicks us off with jim kirk being reprimanded about how he plays god (when really, it's just that jim is terrified of losing anyone, and the very thought of it hurts him so much that he would willingly break a gazillion little rules for it) and then it spirals quietly into jim going "i love my crew. i can't lose them. so i'll die instead". and if i said that yeah, star trek: into darkness has a lot of issues, but when i start screaming about how that movie is so poignant about jim kirk's character because this is jim kirk after he found some kind of family. he found some kind of family (as opposed to in star trek: 2009, when he was still stumbling around and trying to make sense of this awful, tragic legacy he was left to grapple with)--and now that he has a family, he can't ever lose them. he would rather lose himself than lose anyone ever. i think the movie attempted to say "oh, in into darkness, jim became more mature and learned how to be responsible and stop playing god", but in reality, i think the movie was really more so about "here is a very sad and scared guy who is so sick of losing people that he would rather go himself...except all of his friends and family and loved ones, little to his knowledge, were going to break a gazillion rules to bring him back." like, the movie literally starts with jim breaking the rules to save spock, and bones tells him "spock would let you die"--and does anyone else ever think about how lonely it must feel for jim to think, i need to save everyone here. i can't let anyone here die. but never apply the same thoughts to himself. does anyone. does anyone ever think about how lonely it must have been for jim to play so fast and loose with his own life but bring hell and earth together to save his own crew. does anyone else ever think about how strange and numbing it must have felt when he wakes up and realizes that there were people who loved him so much that they were willing to break the rules for him. like. does anyone else think about how star trek: into darkness is also so deeply about jim kirk realizing that he's also worth breaking the rules for. does. does anyone else. get this. does anyone else think about this

[anewstartrekfan]

I cannot stress enough how skilled of a manipulator Lenore Karidian was in conscience of the king. The only reason Kirk found out she was the killer was that he overheard her inadvertently confess. He never once considered her as a suspect. She played him in all of their conversations. Every time he tried to pry she always turned the conversation away. First by trying to focus on him, but then when that failed, turned to romance/seduction. Because while you can never get Kirk to talk about himself, he will speak about love and the human condition at length, and fall hard and fast for anyone who appeals to that.

[ichayalovesyou]

Why Do Old-School TV Duos Have SUCH MLM Vibes?!

I think there’s something very specific about the formula and writing style of non-serialized/semi-serialized shows from the 60s to 80s that featured two grown men going on wacky dangerous adventures that makes my gay little literary analysis brain go absolutely off the wall bonkers. I’m trying to figure out why!

I’m writing this on my Trek blog because I don’t think this pattern in people actually shipping these types of relationships the way they do if fandom as we know it wasn’t born via TOS in syndication. That being said! I also think it has to do with the way these shows are designed that makes myself and others OBSESSED with a specific character dynamic that feels (to me) damn near impossible to replicate in modern television. In a way that’s more than just fandom, it’s in the way TV like this was written at the time!

Further explanation under the cut!

🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

I think what it usually boils down to is this. There’s a charming protagonist whom without the series could not operate, frequently top billed or the title character! (See: Wild Wild West, Starsky & Hutch) BUT he doesn’t have anyone to play off of! So what do they do pretty much every single time? Give Mr. Idealized Vision of Time-Period Masculinity For Genre a second guy to rhyme with!

See but the other guy has to play opposite but parallel to our hypermasculine protagonist. So what frequently ends up happening is that in order to play off our “normal” guy, even though he’s also a white dude, is that he’s still somehow Other.

They’re always perfect for each other, and they always get into scenarios that would be written, shot and interpreted by conventional audiences as romantic IF either one of those characters were a woman! Especially at the time these shows were made in.

If the one is aggressive, the other is gentle. If the protagonist is violent, his counterpart is intellectual. If the one is stoic, the other is emotional. Which (while one size def doesn’t fit all) usually makes the second guy come off as much more queer-coded (and sometimes other minorities like neurodivergent/disabled etc) than the other because of the traits associated with masculinity vs gayness at the time! Our prime examples in these gifs are Spock, Hutch, Artemus, and also *BJ!

*(M*A*S*H is a bit of a unique case since the show flirts with queerness more openly in ways that people more into the series have explained better than me but I think it still fits the formula I’m discussing.)

Here’s the thing though right? We’ve got two best friends, and the show NEVER really feels right if one of them is missing unless the focus of the story is how A & B operate without each other while trying to find the other one. They stick with and rescue each other unfailingly in scenarios that might destroy a regular friendship.

Hell, there’s often stuff that would emotionally/physically destroy a regular person/character in modern media. But because it’s not serialized they always seem to pull through seemingly through the power of friendship alone or dealing with it off-screen! Emotional consequences? Yuck! (Unless it’s M*A*S*H or Starsky & Hutch, like I said, not monolithic)

Here’s the thing that some people might say throws a wrench into the interpretation I’m discussing. What about the absolutely non-stop parade of conventionally attractive women the main protagonist (and less frequently the supporting man) goes through?

I would reply: how many of those female characters actually emotionally impact our protagonists as characters long term?

The answer is of course, because it’s NOT serialized, almost none! Kirk can watch Edith Keeler get killed by a car accident and still be making eyes at Spock the next episode. Hawkeye can have a “life changing” romance with a Vietnamese humanitarian woman, then share a blanket with BJ next episode like she never existed!

The Doylist explanation of course is not just the fact it wasn’t serialized but also just, constant, blatant 20th century sexism. Which SUCKS!!! As well as not wanting a long term love interest to throw off the character dynamic of our duderagonists. It’s the 20th century tv equivalent of bros before hoes.

However the Watsonian explanation always seems to result in no love interest EVER being more important than what the two protagonists have no matter whether you think they’re queer or not. No attractive woman could make our reputed babe-hound protagonist abandon his buddy. There’s no earnest romance our more queer-coded supporting man doesn’t end (or get ended for him) often for the protagonist’s sake.

Now some of these women are incredibly well written and straight up GOOD matches for our guys. So why wouldn’t they get involved in something long term UNLESS!! They were in love with each other the WHOLE time?

What if protagonist (frequently the babe hound) doesnt know he’s queer, or knows but doesn’t know he’s in love with his bestie, or any number of similar fruity explanations? The supporting man also runs into this explanation but people tend to believe he’s already aware that he’s queer but either also doesn’t know he’s in love or is keeping it to himself because time-period homophobia and/or thinking (probably not unreasonably) that babe hound is straight?

Between the inherent closeness of being narrative foils. The regularly scheduled life or death drama creating sometimes insanely romantic (in the narrative if not a literal sense) drama between the two. The revolving door of weekly women they never seem to get attached to enough to leave one another. The non-serialized nature resulting in sparse personal information/history about the protagonists as a result.

I think between the very NATURE of the way tv shows were written at the time. Plus the way fandom was shaped by a dynamic that has rippled through how media works and is interpreted by fans for decades upon decades. It’s not hard to imagine getting really emotionally invested in the possibility of the protagonists being in love is a fantastic way to enjoy the media!

In conclusion, it’s really fun and easy to go “these bitches gay! Good for them good for them!”

[discoonthegrass]

Kirk-drift is so prominent. I have a friend who is a SNW fan and she refuses to watch TOS since she heard Kirk is a sexist, racist, narcissistic asshole who only cares about himself. She says that she likes SNW for attempting to redeem his character.... meanwhile TOS Kirk is none of those things and is arguably very similar to his SNW characterization.

I literally don't understand 😭

[woman-of-many-fandoms]

I also want to add I think AOS Kirk would seriously consider leaving the enterprise for David. He wouldn't want his kid to grow up with out a dad and is way more family oriented. TOS has the mindset that he worked too hard to be where he is and wouldn't want to give that up, but might if seriously asked.

Just because I like AOS to suffer I HC that David died during or before birth.

Spock prime and AOS Spock canonically meet. You and many other authors have done a great job exploring and delving into the interesting ways they react.

Recently I've been fascinated by TOS Kirk might react to his AOS counterpart.

You are one of my favourite fic authors, I would love to get your opinion. I've recently reread The Recitation of Names and adored your exploration of Kirk. Personally, I find that AOS Kirk's characterization emphasized how fascinating and elusive the inner workings of TOS Kirk's mind is.

On surface level I think that AOS Kirk would use meeting Kirk prime for self loathing purposes. It probably would activate his problems with authority, because who is more of an authority on your life and how it should/could have gone than an older version of you.

TOS Kirk's reaction is harder to crack.

I think you're right about AOS Jim. In my fic Grief as a four-dimensional figure, knowing about Kirk Prime triggers Jim's daddy issues...you know, guy you've never met who everyone's always comparing you to, who you know you'll never be as good as. Especially if AOS Kirk isn't with his Spock and he knows TOS Kirk is/was—like great, if I were as cool as him, Spock would like me, but I'm not so he never will.

TOS Kirk though....hm. If he was a lot older, I think he'd try to help, give his younger self the kind of fatherly guidance his own dad gave him. (AOS Jim almost certainly would react badly to that.) But if they're the same age? I think TOS Jim would be downright offended that he worked and struggled and was top of his class and worked his way up the ranks, only to see his alternate self just got handed a ship for saving the Earth a total of once. I could imagine some resentment. Plus, Kirk Prime doesn't have much patience for officers who mess around and don't take their job seriously. He'd be pretty cold to him.

Alternatively, they'd have sex. Because both of them agree, James Kirk is hot and charming.

[smhalltheurlsaretaken]

Into Darkness is by no means a perfect movie, but Spock's speech about caring is one of the hardest hitting moments in all of Star Trek in my opinion.

There is such a deep longing to the music as Spock brings up the destruction of Vulcan (by the way, the track is called Spock and Uhura and yes it’s a reprise of An Endangered Species from the first movie), and such a raw vulnerability to the characters. Nyota and Jim are at a loss for words as they see Spock’s distance for what it is: deep, deep seated trauma, combined with extraordinary resilience.

There’s something so spot-on about Vulcans in general too. Everyone here already knew that Vulcans do experience emotions, but Spock admitting to it leading with a simple “You misunderstand” still feels like the unearthing of a closely kept secret. You can see the realization in Nyota and Jim’s eyes, as Spock explains that he’s not rejecting emotions because he holds them in contempt but rather because they’re just too vast and too painful – that who he is is a choice he’s holding onto, and not a character flaw he’s in denial about. The intimate confession flips the script on the humans who wanted the Vulcan to feel the full weight of their anger, annoyance and concern, and end up grappling with the full weight of his grief instead.

And the fact that they’re not facing each other! Like it’s something too monumental to discuss face-to-face! How Spock’s soft words are so powerful they convey everything. Combined with the music and the duality of the soft, warm light and blue shadows, it’s like the echoes of Vulcan are right there, like desert sands and ocean-deep sorrow.

And of course there is the absolutely heart-wrenching ode to romance that is the last line: “Nyota, you mistake my choice not to feel as a reflection of my not caring. Well, I assure you, the truth is precisely the opposite.” This is the single most achingly tender thing ever said.

(video transcript:)

[Spock, Nyota Uhura and Jim Kirk are flying in a shuttlecraft. They're all facing their consoles/the viewports and all have their backs to each other, with their seats in a triangle.] Spock: "Your suggestion that I do not care about dying is incorrect. A sentient being's optimal chance at maximizing their utility is a long and prosperous life." [Nyota rolls her eyes] Nyota: "Great." Jim: "Not exactly a love song, Spock." Spock: "You misunderstand. It is true I chose not to feel anything upon realizing that my own life was ending. As admiral Pike was dying, I joined with his consciousness and experienced what he felt at the moment of his passing. Anger. Confusion. Loneliness. Fear. [Nyota's expression shifts. Spock and Uhura/An Endangered Species starts playing] I had experienced those feelings before, multiplied exponentially on the day my planet was destroyed. [Jim is listening intently, with a somewhat pained expression.] Such a feeling is something I choose never to experience again. [Spock speaks over his shoulder in Uhura's direction while she listens, looking touched.] Nyota, you mistake my choice not to feel as a reflection of my not caring. Well, I assure you, the truth is precisely the opposite." [Nyota leans back against her headrest with a soft smile.]

[wwillywonka]

SPOCK: CHILD OF TWO WORLDS