#its such a selfish thought i think
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For real tho. My best friend is right it's really hard to get excited about the mundane anymore I need sth to look forward to that isn't just. A fuckin day of rest and that everything all over again
But it all feels pointless anyway
#id make such a good senior citizen id feed pigeons etc#except NO not really bc im constantly haunted by the fact ill never see a fraction of this world and this is the only time Im in it#its such a selfish thought i think#its unfair for everyone#why do we live#my oc takeshi is right actually but id never do what he did hes an awful person#abd im trying but for how long can you try when youre constantly tired by everything#its that yime of year babes 👌#domi talks#legit i dont know what would heal me i cant complain ive had my rest in august#i should be energized until last year haha right thats how it works right#hahahhahaa#negative
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Wowie rly digging the yandere clone headcanons… how would each react if their darling tried to run away from them?!
You said tried so I assume this was a failed attempt!
Short answer: they get really upset and try making it your fault (shocker.) Ain't no way any of these mfs think they're the problem. Good news! you're mostly unharmed and alive.
This will just be purely writing bc i mostly had thoughts! sorry no drawing this time!!
[cw! mentions of potential harm to reader (no actual harm done), manipulation, toxic relationship dynamics (yandere flavor), obsessive behavior]
Sekido
You're always being hunted the moment the sun comes down and you don't return home in time. Reasons like that are exactly why he hates it when you part from him.
This time is different.. he can't find you in your usual spots. There's no fucking way, right?
How could you.. No, how DARE you? Do you think that he's some joke? That his feelings for you are something that you can run away from like it's nothing?
The second he's sure the sun won't harm him, he's already white knuckling his khakkhara, swinging at anything and everything in his path until he gets to you.
They know how to sense if you're near or not, hell, they probably know how your specific blood type smells like.
Did you think cuddling up to you and memorizing every detail about you was for nothing? Don't be stupid. All he needs is a trace of you and he's gone in the blink of an eye.
You better enjoy running while you can because when he catches you, and he will, those legs of yours won't have much use after he's done with them.
Sekido doesn't WANT to do this, but you honestly give him no choice. After he trusted you enough to stop looking over his shoulder, you do this? How can he ever put any faith in you again!?
On the bright(?) side, Sekido's rage wouldn't be solely on you, it'll ricochet onto everyone, especially the other clones and himself.
They were supposed to be looking after you! But they can't do anything right, even a task as simple as this.
And why did he think it was a good idea to trust them with something of big importance when all they do is fuck everything up!? Everyone's idiocy is rubbing off on him!
The entire time on his search for you, he's cursing and wanting to crush anything he can get his hands on, especially your bones.
He doesn't even bother with speaking to the others, too busy spewing out all sorts of hurtful and frustrated comments about everything.
The brutal thought that you’d rather run away than be with him isn't one he wants to entertain, but it's echoing in his head.
At least, once the other clones get there, Karaku and Aizetsu brawl with Sekido so you're unharmed while Urogi carries you overhead.
Sekido's jealousy flares up when he sees you in Urogi's arms, making him even more pissed if that's even possible. Great, now he looks like the bad guy and the other three, the saviors. Fucking perfect.
There's a lot of yelling and a lot of blood, especially with Urogi making things so much more annoyingly difficult in the air. Karaku and Aizetsu aren't helping. Why is Sekido suddenly the problem?! You ran away!!
But when he calms down enough, he's cursing at everyone through clenched teeth. Sometimes trying to convince the others that you don't even need your legs anyway!!
Once you get back home (or temporary prison until you somehow regain favor), Sekido will eye your legs while gripping his staff from time to time.
Exactly why he's forbidden to be in a room alone with you for a while until he settles down..
He glares at you more often and grows colder than before. Arguments are more common where he twists your words just to have you talk with him and be angry within reason.
Any other type of conversation makes him so irrationally upset that the others need to step in so that he doesn't lose his temper again.
Karaku
The calmest out of the group. He brushes it off as “you're playing hard to get” again, and if he makes a ruckus, you'll scamper back and beg him to stop like always!
Then it gets darker out.. and when Sekido left, he seemed pretty pissed. Like more than usual..... shit.
Karaku sprints after Sekido when it clicks that he's found you. His mind starts reeling, unsure whether he should laugh at the absurdity of your decisions or get pissed off because you didn't even bother to give a hint!
Not like that would do anything aside from give you away but regardless!
Everyone needs to relax, this is obviously something they can sweep under the rug. This isn't that big of a deal and you're just having a fit, but things like these can get you hurt, y'know?
They're fun and all, sure, just maybe give him a heads up next time, yeah? Sekido can't take a joke, you know this!!! Still.. There's a way Karaku can work with this.
He'll be able to swoop in, save you, be your hero, and remind you why staying with him is kinda important. Just in case you forgot~
You don't wanna be out and about without his charming grin and protective hold would you? Don't answer that right now, he has a feeling you'll say something wrong!
Yet.. what if you need a firmer hand to remind you of what Karaku provides? What if you got a little too comfortable being protected so you thought you'd be alright leaving them? Man, who knew you could be spoiled!
Because of this, he would purposely fumble, letting Sekido get near you just so he can stop him at the perfect moment. He purposely gets hit too and makes sure some blood gets near you. To remind you how that could've been yours.
When Sekido calms down, Karaku laughs in your face and would pinch your cheeks if you weren't up in the air with Urogi on the way home.
You should've seen your face! It was really cute~! Maybe getting scared is your thing? He'll note that for later.
He offhandedly advises you not to do things like that all the time, fighting Sekido always kinda sucks, but it's not like you actually had a chance of successfully running away so he won't chastise you too much for it.
That's not his job, and his heart hasn’t pumped that fast in a long time.. not even in a fight! You're so amazing~~
And delusional if you think he's not going to milk this “heroism” thing back there for some extra affection points with you.
Don't be so mean. he got his head blown off twice and jaw dislocated thrice, not to mention everywhere else on his body. Don't you think those parts of him need some extra loving? more than usual?
There's not that much Karaku can say after that aside from reminiscing like it was a funny story. He's not upset about it, mostly a little miffed you got kinda far without him noticing, but he gets over it.
The usual routine starts back up for him when you're back home. It's like nothing happened, but he keeps a closer eye on you since everyone's so tense.
Urogi
If you're not home before the sun sets, Urogi's clawing at the walls with stress. He usually accompanies Sekido to go find you, but this time is different. Urogi could just barely tell you were around.. When Sekido bolts, Urogi's flying as fast as he can, trying to find you first.
You're so far.. you must've gotten kidnapped!!!!!
The stress from before burns into anger, expecting to see someone having their hands on you while you're calling out in vain. How could he let this happen?! Damn sun!
He darts through the skies even faster imagining it, and when he finally reaches you, you look.. fine? and alone. and looking at him like he's the danger. He's here to save you, dummy..
Urogi falls to his knees, burying his face against your stomach and finally wrapping his arms around you again. Your fists violently hit his head and yank fistfuls of hair back, but it doesn't phase him.
Your comforting warmth is back, that's all that matters. And god, your smell.. it's almost making him dizzy. He missed you so much.
There's many holes to the story in Urogi's head as to why you're so far from home, but he fills them in with more convoluted delusions. It's just a peaceful reunion right now..
That is until Sekido finally arrives and starts swinging his khakkhara way too close to your fragile bones.
Now he's back in defense mode where he scoops you up and tries flying out of reach. This is so stressful!!! There's lightning everywhere and he keeps having to dodge the multiple staffs thrown his way.
He shields you with his wings as best he can while trying to stay in the air, so you don't get hurt during Sekido's outburst.
In the skies, it's much clearer to see the hurt behind the haunting glow of Urogi's eyes. Did you care about how he might feel? Did you miss him at all? Did you not feel loved enough? Did someone say something to you?
As he maneuvers the sky, he holds you as tightly as possible, lightly digging his talons into your skin.
Being without you for a couple hours is agonizing enough on its own. If you HAD left him, abandoned, cold, alone.. he doesn't want to think about it. All that matters is that your kidnappers or liars or whatever influenced you are gone, and you're back safe with them!!!
You.. you still like him, right? Of course you do, fate wouldn't force your paths together if it wasn't for a reason!
Coming back home is uncomfortably tense, especially with how violently Aizetsu kicked Urogi across the room, nearly through the wall, when he tried to lick your wounds clean. It really hurt!
When you're patched up, Urogi is ten times as clingy if that's possible. He has his arms looped around you constantly so you can't stray too far, and if his hands are busy, he always has his wings!
As happy as he is that you're back, he can't help but cry into your chest sometimes. Everything is so tense nowadays, he hates it! How could you go and do something like that? Apologize immediately! Or at least hold him too? Doubt creeps in a lot, and your attitude isn't helping..
His mood swings are stronger. From sobbing uncontrollably into your clothes to being all smiles and radiating with joy the next just because you said something vaguely decent.
Aizetsu
The demotivation started to creep in the second you left. During the day, Aizetsu sits by the door, wanting to be the first one you properly greet. Sekido and Urogi usually bring you back and he'll be the one in your good graces without lifting a finger. That sounds nice..
But as the footsteps fade and the silence lingers, Aizetsu feels miserable the longer he waits... Hold on, silence?
Before he realizes what's happening, he's already dashing to where the familiar commotion is coming from. Dread sets in as his legs take him as fast as they can whilst being the slowest of the four. This doesn't feel like they're rushing over to you after a long day, it feels.. dangerous?
What did you get yourself into..? Why do you insist on going to places Aizetsu can't follow? Are you safe? He hates not knowing.
Usually you're the one who's fine. You deal with four demons almost daily! Please please please be okay. He can't fathom it if you were hurt.
When he gets there, the puzzle pieces fall into place and Aizetsu gets even more depressed, but at least you're not hurt. Well, not if he interferes. His movements are sluggish, a perpetual frown plastered on his face as he tries holding Sekido down.
Aizetsu wants to dissolve into the floor, and he does sometimes. Not wanting to fight Sekido off anymore, he slumps over.
This could've been a regular day where you came home.. Are you serious? Leaving? How pitiful could you be to actually think you could get away? Or was it that you wanted to play some sick joke on them? Well, it's not very funny... It's terrible actually.
Aizetsu stays silent on the way home, walking with a bit more energy knowing you're near despite his heart ache.
You can feel the harrowing disappointment radiating off of him the moment you all go back home.
He's tired, annoyed, and so unbelievably upset. Aizetsu grimaced when Urogi got near your scratches with his tongue, so he “politely” ushered him away.
Knowing a human's weak points is good in battle, but he started trying to learn how to heal them, specifically because he knew these types of things might happen.
As he cleans your scratches, he's actively scolding you for leaving in a cold emotionless tone. And by scolding, he's using manipulative language, trying to make you guilty for everything you did.
He barely has the energy to live, but now that he finally found his light in the darkness, you want to leave? Is it so wrong he wants to hold onto what makes him even a smidgen happier than usual? He reminds you that he'll wither away without you, but he's not really too keen on dying just yet.
When he tries to get back into a routine, he just can't. He knows why you left, but he doesn't want to hear it. Even if you're sweet to him or not, he'll hold you from behind when you rest.
Looking at you is too much, but being away from you is even worse. Aizetsu compromises this way, but gets quieter, occasionally sniffling when he hides his face behind you.
There's too much going on and he's so tired.. If it weren't for the others, he probably would've held you so tight for so long so that you both would perish together.
Maybe that’s why he's only allowed to hold you when you're asleep. Just please don't do that again.. He NEEDS you. Please, please, please.
Safe to say you gave them a scare. When they double down on the protectiveness, living is ten times more difficult for EVERYBODY. when you lose their trust, it's pretty difficult to gain it back, but not impossible!!
Sekido and Urogi will always assume the worst if you're gone for too long while Karaku and Aizetsu give you a little more freedom until the others drag them along into their worries.
#null rot#yandere demon slayer#yandere kny#yandere kimetsu no yaiba#Sekido#Karaku#Urogi#Aizetsu#cloaked cult member#not art#null brainwash#null gospel#IM NOT A WRITER!!!! JUST A REMINDER!!!!!!!!! JST A RAMBLER!!!!!!!!!!!!#i really couldn't think of anything drawing wise to go along with this.... but I really wanted to write for it even if I'm a bit amateur#Am I even doing this bullet thing right?? I'm not good at cohesive thoughts. but I try!! I hope I did this right..??#Also. Sekido honestly doesn't want to hurt you or even put his hands on you. he's just really scared you might something will happen to you#how the fuck is he going to live with himself if you somehow get eaten by another demon? or worse. used as bait from either demon or slayer#now that upper moon fucking four has a soft spot. its really selfish of you to run away..#don't you see how that can ruin everyone's lives including your own!? (manipulative)#why he gets more upset with any other type of convo at the end is bc it reminds him of how things were before. they were good.#but you had to ruin it didn't you? (manipulative ×2) and for sure for sure. if he holds your hand you're getting a bruise.#Karaku is hella chill bc he's wayyy too cocky that he can find you again. the little arrogance he has rearing its head again.#Hes not stupid. he knows you want to escape. but that means he has to whittle you down a little more. get you used to this. to them. to him#You can't escape. he won't let you. He belongs with you. so just try and get comfortable. yeah?#Urogi.. going through it. Hes like your ankle monitor. very fragile minded with his mood swings but extremely stubborn about letting you go#Hit him. pull at his hair. push him away. spit at him. hes sad for a while but bounces back. he always does! and he knows you will too!!#He just needs to wait.. even if it hurts his feelings sometimes. but never for long because you'll be back to loving him like before!#Aizetsu's stuck in a loop of angry -> sad until he ends up quietly crying because hes depressed you dont like them. eveything is pitiful.#he cant even move on bc youre his light. nothing will change that. even if you hurt him. all he can beg of you is to be kind to him. adjust#hes not the monsters you think he is. he can be sweet kind gentle. whatever you want.. just please.
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ep 43 had me tearing up in a fucking shopping centre ‼️‼️
b+w alt version that I truly couldn't decide if I liked it more . Also I included a lot of thoughts in the tags but they're somewhat incoherent<3
#i dont know what i expected but i was waiting for a friend and too excited to wait until later#malevolent podcast#john doe#john doe malevolent#john malevolent#malevolent fanart#grimm art#ep 43#ep 43 left me with a lot of thoughts ... i didnt quite like how much of a recap it felt like at times but that might#be because ive been relistening and like yeah everyone knows that john 🙄 but that's not the case for everyone and with monthly uploads#things get forgotten easily#i find the discussion of “humanity” so interesting because John has shown that without someone that he has forcibly grown to value as an#equal... something he cannot do as the king of yellow as he is superior to all of his realm and presumably stays out of other elder god's#anyway. without that equality and enviroment to grow he fails to reach his goal of compassion and falls onto old ways.#John. The King in Yellow. shown by both times each has found themselves in human form do not just crave power and influence!!!#THEY CRAVE COMMUNITY!!! an endrich being not born or raised with nothing but power and ego#CRAVES COMMUNITY.#His goal of “humanity” is not a selfless goal like John projects - it is ultimately somewhat selfish as he does not want to be alone!!#which makes this desire so much more human#i don't know maybe this is just me spelling out whats already there but the way john and the witch argued about humanity frustrated me#it felt like they were missing the point or that perhaps the “good/evil” “black/white” retoric was already realised by me and john needed#realise it himself . which is fair !!!#i dont know!!!!#the witch was talking about how bad everyone was and how humanity is cruel and john was talking about Lily (#who also frustrates me how shes used in the plot somewhat she was literally just a nurse doing her job bro#) but to John - yes internally he is struggling with his moral greyness and im so proud of him for growing being himself SO PROUD#JUST.!!! he wants community. he needs community. he loves his friend. 'humanity' at its core does not matter as long as you try to be bette#and i think thats awesome and i really enjoyed the episode#guhh im rambling enjoy my tag rambling i dont know i want john to have more friends :(#yorrick can be another friend godd i love you yorrick so silly
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I don’t remember where this quote was from but there’s a line that goes “I was looking through rose colored glasses for so long, the red flags just looked like the way to go.” And I think that embodies Curly’s view point in life and specifically about Jimmy a lot. Not to mentions a world where he actually makes it out of the Tulpar.
#also thinking about trans curly again cause like there’s an inherent horror on Curly’s side in that scenario pre crash and post#but pre crash it’s like the very selfish fear that at an early point in time that could’ve been him and having to compartmentalize#every off thing Jimmy has said to him on the subject of his physical transition and how he either ignored it for his own piece of mind or#laughed it off cause that’s what your supposed to do when a guy says something like that both in a guy code way and a omg laugh so he doesnt#do something way girls are trained to protect themselves with cause in this scenario#he understands Anya’s fear and feels like a damn idiot for not getting it cause he lived that sort of back of the mind thinking before he#was able not to and he still has to to an extent but he thought he found the one guy he didn’t have to and realized he just got use to it#but its sentimental and it’s selfish that it is and when I write this post beware#ducking beware bitches#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#curly mouthwashing#captain curly
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Reading journal 3 again is a reminder that... Well Ford is kinda an asshole towards Fiddleford. It's not just Stan. Like he's so focused on himself and his project and his ambition that anyone/thing else blurs out (him disregarding Fiddleford's nervousness around the gremloblin because he wants to sketch it, and when it goes sideways, him talking about the safety of the project parts BEFORE how Fiddleford was doing in his journal, multiple times. Priorities much?) and he's demeaning towards Fiddleford's own project (which ends up being wayyyy more important then Ford's discoveries)... Like damn Fiddleford, u left ur wife and young son for this guy?
#gravity falls#ford pines#stanford pines#fiddleford mcgucket#fiddleford hadron mcgucket#ford squared#like... i get where reading the journal so its more of Ford unfiltered thoughts but it REALLY shows his priorities#and yeah I'm nor saying there wasnt good things in their relationship but Ford still is very much by this point extremely self-absorbed#and it SHOWS and its not... it bot very pretty. like we joke about Bill fumbling Ford and how great Ford is but like ..#compared to McGucket who earnestly cared Ford... was extremely self-absorbed and selfish. and like McGucket definitely#began to help Ford step out of his self-absorption and solely being driven by his ambition but in the end it ended terrribly#literally McGucket feeling so unsafe in the relationship and where he was that he made the memory gun and then USED IT UNCONSENTED on Ford#because he couldnt destroy it and Ford demanded him too... like yikes#anyways theyre all a fucking delight to chew on#this is not supposed to come off as ford squares disliking this is me going those two arent as wholesome as u might think when they were#younger. or maybe since im not a lurker in that part of the fandom i just have a poor conception of what its like compared to like. billford#like you can REALLY see what Bill likes in Ford#hugin rambles#hugin rambles gf
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I think a really underrated character duo in gravity falls is Dipper and Stan. Like one, I think they are way more similar than people give them credit for. Like Dipper is definitely the one who feels like the ‘inferior’ twin (internally on his part), something reflected in Stan. Also Dipper is generally pretty cunning and willing to throw punches in a Stan-way, you can see Stan rubbing off on him as the show progresses. Dipper in the Stan costume, and that one scene where Stan and Dipper both cross their fingers at the same time for the same promise, both live in my head rent free. In my heart of hearts I think Dipper picks up a bit of Stans con-man tricks in the future (and Mabel goes on some bonding missions w/ Ford, but this post isn’t abt them). Also I just want to say I bet Dipper reminded Stan of a young Ford and that informed some of their early dynamic. Anyway bye just needed this brainworm out
#gravity falls#dipper pines#Stan pines#stanley pines#That one scene in Dreascapers where Stan talks abt how he sees himself in Dipper and that’s why he’s hard on him?#yeah#look the twins can obviously be put into their easy Mabel-Stan Dipper-Ford parallels#BUT I think it’s interesting to do it teh other way too#because Mabel and Ford are the weird twins of their pairs!!! they’re the outcasts who get picked on for being strange!#Also while I don’t think Mabel is Selfish (I love Mabel) she can be a little self-centered which is a good parallel to Ford who#is also kinda self centered#again I say this with love- Mabel did nothing wrong#similarly- Dipper can be mapped to the ‘Screw up twin’ (in his mind) the way Stan can#Dipper is a nerd but he’s not a super-genius like Ford was- so next to mabel he feels inferior#(I feel like he said something like this somewhere? the journal?)#anyway Stan is the same way#Also the way Dipper would fuck anyone up for hurting his family- even going as far to THREATEN bill in BOB#Tbf mabel does this too but it’s way less serious#anyway have this#gravity falls dipper#gravity falls stanley#wait I’m not over this actually#Mabel getting tricked by Bill pretending to be someone she trusted can be a Ford paralell actually#you know how bill sees himself in Ford despite the fact he’s WAYYY more like Stan??? that but mabel the opposite way. do you see the vision?#also the fact the two pines bill hates are Dipper and Stan. I win again#THE BILL-MABEL-FORD PARALELLE BUBBLE MIGHT NEED ITS OWN POST BC I HAVE THOUGHTS
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I feel like the main reason this evil shanks theory is so prevalent (besides the private meeting the the gorsei which up even I can’t explain) is that his general cheeriness and lackadaisical disposition is more of a presented front, a mask to be slipped on and off at will which would be fine if he weren’t often put in the same boat as Roger and Luffy two people ( for as much as we know about roger) who have no masks at all.
Don’t get me wrong I’m pretty sure that Shanks is a naturally happy, good natured dude but he’s also the most politically minded pirate we have seen on the show (and some of these pirates were actual politicians) like I’m pretty sure Roger is more mature and secretive than Luffy ( makes sense he’s older and has seen more of the world) but with both of them you never get the sense that their silliness is something they are putting on for the direct purpose of making themselves less of a threat. They both can get serious when the situation calls for it but that feels more of an extension of their already established personality more than a hidden personality.
While with shanks it’s undeniable that something changed within him and his goals the day Roger died I don’t know if Roger actually told him something or if he just wasn’t dealing with the abandonment well it was probably a mix of both honestly. But yeah Shanks comes off as a guy with his ear to the ground someone who has schemes on schemes on schemes. he’s someone playing in the long run, kind of like crocodile but not nefarious. And when compared with a straight forward head first always kinda guy like Luffy, like he often is, he can come off a little suspicious.
There’s something that’s a little fake about his cheer, something a little too performative about his optimism and foolishness. I think it’s a mix of; he’s housing a deep sadness, he’s more of a realist that an optimist and also dudes just a pacifist unlike like luffy who loves to brawl ( like luffy knows when it’s better not to fight but he also loves a good fight) and he would rather deescalate a situation than fight it out and sometimes the easiest way to do that is with an air of cluelessness and making yourself seem less of a threat which makes it so much more jarring but effective when he reveals just how big a threat he is. but I can see why people think it’s suspicious.
(Interestingly even when luffy tries to emulate this behavior like when he first encountered Bellamy at the pub his plan is to just not react which while in the same vain is very different than Shanks actively playing the drunken good natured take it on the chin role for the bandits Luffy was still essentially himself he just refused to react while Shanks played a role which made it more terrifying and effective when he stopped)
Also it doesn’t help that until recently he’s largely been missing from the narrative with just a man echoing or a whisper here or there of how powerful he is.
But I think we should remember that Shank’s goal is essentially world peace. and peace, a true lasting peace, is just a little more of a precarious balancing act, than utmost freedom. For freedom you have to destroy the old game, for peace you have to learn to play a new one, hopefully with a bit more kindness injected into the foundation.
#he’s a schemer and people don’t trust schemers I get it#shanks is basically playing the game of thrones#except he wishes to abolish the system but he does understand that a new one has to take its place#preferably one where the strong protect the weak#which is much different from Luffy’s brand of selfish heroism that is very based on friendship#luffy’s a bull dozer while shanks is an architect#so they complement each other pretty well actually#red hair shanks#also the people luffy saves are his friends he loves them and treats them like friends#the people Shanks saves are just people he cares about their well being and doesn’t want to see them hurt#but it’s more of a sheep protector dog and it’s flock than the relationships built on pure friendships luffy forms#throwing thoughts to the void#all this to say taht I don’t believe Shanks is secretly eveil is going to be the twist I just think he’s a complicated dude#who gets grouped in a lot with a bunch of straight forward optimists#I think he’s just realized that Roger was waiting for something and so he’s waiting for it too. I think he’s only now really realizing that#that thing he was waiting for is Luffy.#akagami no shanks#red haired shanks#red haired pirates#monkey d luffy#one piece#gol d. roger#gol d roger#monkey d. luffy#op#one piece theory#one piece thoughts#one piece world government#shanks op#straw hat luffy
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It's hard being someone who does genuinely get infuriated with Ford's actions and acknowledges a lot of his flaws and the people he hurt, while also liking (and relating) to his character enough that I would like him to have nice things sometimes and don't believe he's satan
#hes not my favorite guy#but i keep having to defend him because every time people talk about him its like “YEAH HES A SHITBAG WHO WANTS TO WATCH HIS BROTHER DIE”#“HED PROBABLY LAUGH IN HIS FACE WHILE HE GETS MAULED BY TIGERS”#when i was reading the fanfic O Brother I too thought he was being overly cruel to poor Stanley (in a way that made sense not an ooc way)#but then he like found out the deity that was his entire life was lying to him and that he hurt people#and that he no longer can SLEEP because hell hurt people again#and he has to figure out the impossible answer of what to do while everyone is upset and untrusting of him#and his best and only friend barely can LOOK at him#and all the comments are like “YEAH THIS IS WHAT HE DESERVES!!! FUCK YOU STANFORD”#meanwhile im over here like “oh my god thats so fucking awful!!! i feel so bad!!!”#like he genuinely has NO ONE right then thats fucking awful#its Jonathan Sims all over again except even the AUDIENCE hates him and like?????? please hes just misguided he does NOT deserve this#stanford pines#ford pines#gravity falls#again let me clarify HES NOT EVEN MY FAVORITE GUY#i obsess over him occasionally but im a Stanley defender through and through AND YET#i keep having to say “guys. hes not as bad as you guys think. and Stan isn't as GOOD as you guys think. GUYS. PLEASE.”#it truly is interesting how different focuses on characters influence the audiences perspective of them SO MUCH#because ngl remember how i mentioned J Sims?#i really feel like Jon and Ford are similar#meddled with deities they didn’t understand. had paranoid tendencies. isolated themselves often. had selfish tendencies.#often rude and abrasive but also had a heart#and again the audience LOVES Jon and hates characters for disliking him#but this audience (which probably is the same people too lol) hate Ford and feel vindicated when characters dislike him
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i love suns and pebbles canon dynamic in my head its kind of weird and fucked up and i wish more people depicted it as that (tag ramble incoming)
#i have a lot of thoughts about suns as a character#since theres not much from them in the story its mostly headcanon though#i think suns is someone who desperately wants to be liked and admired#like maybe theyre one of the youngest in their local group (i think theyre in a separate neighboring group to moons)#and they're not really used to being looked up to in any capacity#so pebbles is the first person who really respects them in that way and because of that they have this weird contradictory relationship#where sometimes suns relishes in that dynamic a little too much and holds the power over pebbles head and gets a little mean#and sometimes because suns still wants pebbles to keep liking and admiring them they can get a little too indulgent of him#hence the gold pearl. i think suns gave it to him bc they wanted him to find some kind of happiness but there was also a selfish element#'if i give this to him he'll like me more' etc#i dont think suns is intentionally cruel i just think they had never had that kind of relationship before and fucked a lot of things up#after spearmaster they start to get better at it esp since spearmaster is kind of a second chance for them. so suns learns to be kinder#on pebbles' end. i like to think pebbles was a lil infatuated with them. esp because he felt like they were the only one who understood him#unreciprocated tho. suns cared about him but more from a mentorly point of view than anything#kind of a weird thing where he looked up to them as an authority figure but also really kind of wanted them to be on the same level#in conclusion: toxic robot yuri can be cool sometimes#text#rain world
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the "christ you are extremely fucking selfish, die" meme but for evil internship ... is this anything
OH MY GOOODDDDDDDDDD. OH MY GOD OH MY GOD hold on let me find the original i need to redraw this so badly
#hot take possibly doesnt apply to evil internship#because murdock never really viewed her motives as selfish per se#<- he didnt *like* them. he was actively pushing her into the direction of accepting that she was never going to be this perfect mirror of#heroism#murdock was ambivalent and enthusiastic in terms of gwen not wanting to be this extremely moral good person he was actively trying to shove#her away from that#i think its more applicable to like#gwen wanting to be in e65 in general#because her world Does Not Like Her. other people Do Not Like Her.#she's seen as a criminal and a domestic terrorist before she's seen as a person in her own world#and she's seen as destructive or a walking corpse in other's worlds#there are very few people who welcomed her occasional lack of altruism#EXCEPT for murdock. because thats what he'd wanted from the beginning he saw himself in her he wanted her to become this monstrous thing#thats why he gives her the symbiote etc.#theres alot of#theres Alot sorry#SORRY I LOVE U. I WILL BE DRAWIJG THIS ANYWAY I JUST HAVE EVERY THOUGHT EVER#gwail#SANS!!!<3
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"all interpretations are valid" nuh uh urs is stupid
#whos the bad parent. guy who was willing to let his son die or guy who didnt want his son to die#based on this chart that I made up. i think the guy who isnt willing to kill his son is selfish and evil#has he considered his son wants to die?#i love reading ppls thoughts on how they interpret a scene etc but sometimes#its fr just straightforward n yall r convulating it to mean something that its not#n its not even a fun fandom stuff anymore ur just annoying#rambles
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hear me out for genshin x bsd-
atsushi would be a cryo claymore that scales off atk (since the tiger is shown as extremely powerful and can even cut through space) and optimizes physical dmg
dazai would be a geo sword support that increases elemental res, acting as a debuffer (as no longer human works in the bsd universe) he would also scale off em
kunikida would also be geo but catalyst that deals physical aoe dmg.. he'd be an in-slot dps but not an optimal one imao his talents are much better suited to make him a battery unit
akutagawa would be pyro polearm?? or sword?? and he's obviously a heavy dps that scales off crit rate/dmg and tenma tengai could be similar to cyno's burst when, once activated, increases def while simultaneously raising rashomon's atk
chuuya would be an anemo catalyst dps similar to wanderer bc of his gravity manipulation and he would have a melee stance where he atks from the ground and an elevated state where he uses gravity manipulation to be able to atk off-ground. his ult would be corruption obviously and would parallel xiao's where his atk and crit rate/dmg are sharply increased but he undergoes continuous dmg until the duration of his burst ends (in this state he is vulnerable as his def is lowered and he isn't able to accumulate energy meaning he needs a team built around him, preferably with a healer and a shielder)
how does it feel to be the sexiest person on this site w absolutely the most correct and banger takes anon??.. why are u correct on literally everything
#DAZAI BEING GEO IS A SMART MOVE I LIKE THAT. i would've seen him as cryo (bc nlh is blue and also bc cryo is the element of contradiction)#(much like how dazai lashes out against his inherently selfish nature to help atsushi)#(and how he does not see himself as human and feels alienated from human society bc of it yet he is written to be the most relatable-#-character in the show?? or at least i think so)#BUT GEO MAKES SENSE.. GEO REPRESENTS DETERMINATION AND PERSEVERANCE#GEO VISION HOLDERS HAVE MINDS OF STONE AND WILL DO ANYTHING TO ACHIEVE THEIR GOALS#WHILE THIS CAN BE SEEN AS A NOBLE AND DILIGENT TRAIT.. DAZAIS MORALLY GRAY CHARACTERIZATION PUTS A WHOLE NEW TWIST ON WHAT THIS ENTAILS#HE IS MACHIAVELLIAN INTRINSICALLY. ITS WHO HE HAS ALWAYS BEEN. HE BELIEVES THE ENDS JUSTIFY THE MEANS#AND WHETHER HE ACHIEVES THAT THROUGH MANIPULATION OR THROWING AWAY HIS OWN HUMANITY.. HE WILL DO IT IF IT SEES HIS PLAN THROUGH#also kunikida would be dendro imao bc of his adherence and passion for his ideals#which parallels dendro users highly valuing and pursuing knowledge above all#anyway sry for rambling in the tags again those are just my thoughts feel free to disagree <33#lotus’s asks
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It's always weird when people are like, "Oh, you being [x minority] made me stop hating/reconsider my bigotry toward [minority]!"
Not only is it weird from the standpoint of "wow, you hated me?" but it's weird to know that you displayed some type of behaviour that proved your humanity to them, and that if you stop displaying that behaviour for any reason, it's possible they'll just slide back into their hatred because they haven't fundamentally challenged why they hated you and your people.
It's fine to grow out of your bigotry, yes, but I'm completely understanding of people being weary of those who are so brazen about how much they hated people like you.
#politics#ask to tag (genuine)#like i've expressed this before and it was like people were assuming i was ungrateful for their growth???#but it's like... /have/ they outgrown their bigotry if they're almost jovial about just how hateful they were toward minority groups?#i feel like true growth from bigotry is understanding how harmful bigotry is and how you played into that...#...no that doesn't mean groveling about your past and performatively 'apologizing'...#...it means challenging the beliefs you held and learning how to spot them if they try festering back in your mind...#...because groveling isn't the same as growth and neither is pretending like past bigotry is amusing or funny or quirky...#...in my mind both those thought processes still center the 'reformed' bigot and not the people they hurt and held bigoted beliefs about...#...i think both those things are selfish and show (to me) that they may well do still hold those same bigotries but they're hiding them...#...and it will only be a matter of time before that bigotry festers and takes its mask off...#...like that is PRECISELY why bigotry against ~bad people~ is JUST AS BAD as bigotry toward ~good minorities~...#...like transphobia against a trans person who is a terrible excuse for a human is still transphobia. it doesn't matter how bad they are#(just as an example of what i mean)
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god i wish i could stop fuckin thinking this i feel like such a dick i KNOW people with more obvious and more serious disabilities dont "have it better" but i cant stop thinking about it i just wish i could collapse dramatically and get rushed somewhere and magically diagnosed i feel like such a fuckin drama queen because i feel awful all the time but its just like dizziness and pain do i even have the right to claim im disabled? its not like im diagnosed. its not like i know whats wrong. its not like its serious. maybe i am just fuckin faking it.
#i wish i had something horribly wrong with me i know its selfish and bad to say that#but that thought wont leave if i dont write it out#i wish i had some horrible condition or some birth defect or anything that was OBVIOUS that people could find!!!#i just wish i was worse so i wouldnt feel like im stuck in this fuckin limbo#please reply#i want anyone to talk about this i dont care what just please#these thoughts wont leave and i feel like such a dick for thinking them anf they wont fuckin stop#anon says shit#cpunk#cripple punk#vent#rant post#disability#maybe#i dont even fuckin know#i wish i did#i wish i was normal but i know i cant be#so i wish i was WORSE just so i could know something is wrong#you dont have to go “oh its not better if your worse” i KNOW#I KNOW its fuckin selfish n privileged n stupid to think like this n it wotn fucking stop god help me please
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nov. 13th 2023
₊˚ෆ 350 words / not beta read! / in no way, shape or form formatted correctly! / many punctuation mistakes! / i swear ik how to format normally!!
ᕱ ⑅ ᕱ a/n: hello all!! ໒꒰ྀི´ ˘ ` ꒱ྀིა this came to me while i was talkin to my psychiatrist the other wk & it just wouldn't leave my mind!! ໒꒰ྀི ∩ ⸝⸝ ∩ ꒱ྀིა this is v self indulgent & v personal & i was originally gonna keep it to myself but i thought that maybe someone out there could resonate, even if it's a lil bit <33 so here's a lil poetry/prose moment :3
i am kind to the world because the world has not always been kind to me.
for i have begged for places at tables only to learn i never had solace there to begin with — assuming that my worth was equivalent to the scraps that litter the floor. i have foolishly taken the hand of societies predisposed values — blindly agreeing that being rigid is the only means of protection. i have been preached about taking my time then chastised for not keeping up — choking on the fabricated realization that the only place i’ll ever meet the requirements for is the last one. i have been told to appreciate the wonders of the world we live in — then swiftly reminded to only admire the beauty from afar for it’s fleeting and i’ve yet to prove my worth
i have been conditioned to believe i am a lot of things. but, i am not the masses.
i am so much more.
i am so sickeningly sweet that i give cavities a run for their money, i am so brilliantly luminous that even the sun itself seeps envy, i am so abundant with love and adoration that my body can’t help but burst at the seams to share it all.
and with that,
i will always leave an open seat at my table — a warm meal and good conversation at the ready for all who need to rest. i will always extend my hand with only the purest of intent — displaying proudly that soft and strong do not have to be autonomous to live in harmony with one another. i will always take time while it’s still ripe for the taking — it’s monetary value far outweighing that of a solid gold medal. i will continue to gaze at the world with fondness — the blinding beauty of it all synonymous with the delicate flame that burns deep within and glows outward.
but most important of all, out of everything i am, i was, and will eventually blossom to be.
i am kind to the world because the world has not always been kind
to me.
- c
๋࣭ ⭑ yuukimiyas © '23 / please do not copy/repost/translate anywhere! / all dividers by @benkeibear
#idk if this technically constitutes as prose (i dont think it does lmaodijf) but regardless!!! here's a lil non blorbo related writing :3#is this my best work? probs not!! but am i happy to have written smth of this caliber? absolutely!! its been far too long!!#it sounds v selfish & conceited but i PROMISE that wasn't my intention!!! also i think it came out a lil sadder than anticipated!! IM SORRY#i swear im not trying to be sad on dash or anyth!!! but this felt v cathartic to write & thought someone somewhere might relate <33#reblog & like until your hearts content!! ofc no pressure AT ALL!!! ૮꒰⸝⸝> <⸝⸝꒱ა okie posting & running awayyyy !!#₊˚.༄ anthology!
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saw your post about no longer wanting to be a phan blog and i just wanted to say i get you especially the reaction to this tour has been very uncomfortable and i could never figure out exactly why it felt... overbearing ig??? but it has been building and the tour leak and announcement just seemed to put a spotlight on people seem to have learned nothing from the previous years and seem to think that now that they're back it's okay to push their boundaries because they're engaging with us again. and tbh i appreciate you for helping put into words the discomfort ive been feeling and it sucks that it turned out like this that the enjoyment of the thing gets harder because of others
I was so so hoping it wouldn't get like this again
The first 5-6 months of the gaming channel being back were mostly wonderful
Everyone was behaving and respectfully enjoying dnp being back as a duo
I've seen/felt it building up over the past few months but I kept ignoring it because I figured it was just newer phans who didn't know about any of "the lore"
But every time I'd check their page out it would almost always be someone in their mid-late 20s who has been around for 10+ years
I was dumbfounded
I genuinely cannot believe people still treat Dan and Phil like tv characters who exist purely for entertaining the masses
Its really sad
#i have had a lot of other dnp fans dming me and sending anonymous asks sharing this same sentiment#to my surprise#i thought i was alone on this opinion for a long time#which is part of the reason i tried to ignore the way i was feeling for so long#i think i started feeling something was off when the “dangender” shit started#and then people started calling dnp autistic because they're weird guys#thennnn people started started crossing boundaries discussing their sex lives#jokes and bants about it are fine#dnp dont seem to mind that too much and make these jokes themselves#but phans (as always apparently) started to take it too far#people keep projecting shit onto them#and being overall disrespectful as fuck to both of them#so when i opened tumblr and the first thing i saw was that the tour got leaked#and saw everyone gloating and screaming about it on every corner of the internet i genuinely got super angry#i walked away from my phone for an hour then came back to quit being a phanblog lol#like you assholes couldn't wait a few more hours for them to announce this thing they've been busting their asses on for MONTHS#you just had to camp out on ticketmaster and overanalyze everything that they did in order to prove that you were “right”#but at least you were right right?#fuckin selfish greedy and entitled behavior#its gross and honestly dnp should not have to put up with this kinda shit
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