#goofy jelly thoughts
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goofyjelly · 11 hours ago
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currently listening to Angel With A Shotgun, I've got to get into the holiday spirit
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goatsgoatsmoregoats · 1 year ago
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I have just watched 8 hours worth of twilight with @goofyjelly and @i-barely-tumble-her my brain is crumbling to little bits and pieces
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goofyjelly · 4 months ago
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I love being on this site when real world shit happens. we're so fucked but at least we have destiel.
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goofyjelly · 1 year ago
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goofyjelly · 1 year ago
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IM GOING INSANE
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goofyjelly · 1 year ago
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY OH MY GOSH!!! 🎉🎉🎉
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Happy birthday to AO3 🎂🎉
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goofyjelly · 5 days ago
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we have a warriors bond (I followed them during the boop war and now we're mutuals for life)
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goofyjelly · 1 year ago
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okay but what in the everloving FUCK was that scene at the end of Requiem for Methuselah (S3E19 STAR TREK TOS)
Cus Bones goes ON AND ON about how Spock will never know the intensity of love, the things it'll drive people to do, the rule breaking, the pain-
AND THEN HE DOES THIS ????
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He is literally going INTO KIRKS HEAD and making him forget; IF THAT ISNT RULE BREAKING ON SO MANY LEVELS , I DONT KNOW WHAT IS
fuck, man, that scene... Jeez
I haven't finished watching all of the TOS episodes yet , but that scene is already one of my favorites of all time.
I love so many things about this: the spirk truthing, what this says about Spock as a person, just the way Kirk is so distressed to the point he just passes out on his desk with Spock in his room...
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goofyjelly · 3 months ago
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i know I barely marvel post (mostly because Ive never been able to super get into the MCU), but, genuinely, Doctor Doom is my favorite villain!!!
When I was younger I'd read my dad's fantastic four comics, watch the show- hell, even in the Ultimate Spiderman show. I LOVE Doctor Doom!!!
...
LOOK WHAT THEYVE DONE TO MY BOY, THEY MASSACRED MY BOY- 😭😭😭
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ALL BECAUSE THEYD RATHER DIE THAN CAST CHARACTERS CORRECTLY!!! Everything is about "which famous person can we get?" and NO THOUGHT goes into "does this person fit the role?"
AND THE FACT THAT DOCTOR DOOM'S ROMANI BACKGROUND IS CRUCIAL TO WHO HE IS AS A CHARACTER-
Please if anyone has any good fan-casting, add them to this post cus then at least it can be cool in our minds 😭
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goofyjelly · 1 year ago
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ITS TIIIIIIIIIIME!!!
ZACK AND CODY, YOUR TABLE IS READY!!!
It's almost time for Zack and Cody's reservation at the Italian restaurant
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l0nelyish · 4 months ago
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It‘s about that sandwich!
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natasha romanoff x fem!reader
prompt: where you just can’t help but stun Natasha… and maybe get on her nerves? she doesn’t know which one it is.
nothin but pure fluff and nat being pouty af
lil bit of grumpy nat x sunshine reader if you squint.
3rd pov
„That‘s it.“, Wanda turned around, confused. Witnessing Natasha angry, sure thing. Witnessing her confused? never.
“What’s the matter with you, everything alright?”
Natasha huffed, pouting almost childlike. It’s so not like her to seem this openly frustrated, but she couldn’t care less. “Do I seem alright to you? No. This is the fifth time this month she’s been emptying one of the pbj ingredients before i could make one for myself.”, she dragged her eyes across the room, almost analyzing as in ‘hide and seek’. Where could you have been? And why do you have to steal ‘her’ ingredients? Natasha was bothered by you, yes. Extremely.
Wanda took another look at Natasha and chuckled: “Damn, does a peanut butter and jelly sandwich really have that much value to THE black widow? Oh my Lord.”
Natasha almost wanted to hit Wanda in the head with her slices of bread. It was really tempting, she had to admit. The witch shot her a knowing look, most likely hearing her thoughts. Again, the Russian woman huffed. Her temper was really not her strongest suit. Especially not after provoking it.
“It has a decent amount of value, thank you. What do you want me to say? ‘Oh my God! I can’t live without a pbj sandwich! Help me!’ ?”, Natasha shot her a glare, sarcasm being her best suited form of selfdefense. She truly is a witty woman.
On the other side of the kitchen aisle, Wanda tried her best not to fall into a laughing fit. Never has she ever seen Natasha this distressed, this fuzzy. And then, after really considering who they were discussing, she sent her friend a knowing smirk:
“Are you really this cranky about two bread slices or is it because of your ‘definitely not crush’ ?”
Natasha stared at her, eyes blown in shock: she got caught. Again. She usually wouldn’t let someone else read her this easily, but since this is you they’re talking about, and it’s Wanda she’s talking to, there really is no reason to facade it. Still, she tries to deny: “I told you a hundred times, I don’t like her! I can’t even stand her. I mean, she empties the food. What am I supposed to eat now?” So wrong. Even Natasha knows her whole act of trying to hate and blame you for everything is not working and it’s just her best shot at ignoring the rising feelings she’s got for you. But could anybody blame her, really? When you were this excited, extremely beautiful, empathetic and shiny human being?
You entered the kitchen, unaware of the ongoing dispute. Hot on your heels, you scanned the room and reacted to Natashas last sentence: “Did Steve forget the groceries? Are you hungry?”
And just like that, after merely 5 seconds, Natasha dreaded holding a grudge. Her whole demeanor snapped (no pun intended) and her eyes gazed almost neutrally into your warm gaze: “Someone emptied the whole peanut butter jar. And now I can’t make my dinner.”
Surprisingly, you sent her a goofy smile: “Oh! That must have been me, I’m extremely sorry, Tasha. I do have another half of my pbj sandwich left though, I was about to refrigerate it.”, you held up your plate. She gave it a look and panicked internally: were you really about to share your meal? As if gathering her freight, you again sent her a toothy smile and handed her the leftover half. “Enjoy!”, was all you stated, leaving both women standing around the kitchen isle. Plus the pbj sandwich, which Natasha stared at for longer than necessary. The corners of her mouth started to form a smile, which after some contemplation she insisted on not following through.
Wanda, who encountered the whole interaction, had a huge smirk on her face.
Natasha on the other hand, without having to look at her friends face, mentally face palmed herself for always getting so stuck up around you.
“Don’t.”
“I didn’t say anything… but enjoy your meal.”, with that, Wanda left a flushed Natasha stood in the compound’s kitchen.
The widow took another look at your, no her, plate. And after a year, she still can’t wrap her head around it:
What was she going to do about you?
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jazzthatonewriterchick · 6 months ago
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DRABBLE: YOU GOT ERRANDS TO RUN? NOT WITH THEM, YOU DON’T! (18+) (JJK) (For Black!Fem!Readers)
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Writer's Note: Got this idea out of nowhere lol. Enjoy! -Jazz
********
TOJI
Don’t ever expect to get anything done with this nigga around.
I'm serious. You can't get anything done when this man is in your house or apartment.
You try to cook? He'll bend you over the counter and let that bitch in the pan or stove burn.
You need to do your laundry? He'll "help" you put your load in the washer machine before putting his own "load" deep in your pussy or all over your ass while you're bent over the dryer.
You have to go grocery shopping? Okay! He'll drive you there and play with your pussy while steering with the other hand.
Case in point, you wake up one morning at around 7AM on the dot, your ringtone going off which wakes the sleeping, sexy, toxic man lying next to you, naked from the night before as are you. You had invited Toji over for a Friday night smoke session knowing full well that it would end in you getting fucked.
And you did. Very good, might I add. Your legs still feel like jelly and your muscles ache from Toji putting you into twenty different positions to fuck you in, but you still have to hit the gym.
But as you shift in his big, beefy arms wrapped tight around you, they seem to get tighter, locking you against him. You groan tiredly. "Toji," you sigh. "C'mon, I gotta get up."
"Where you think you goin'?" he sleepily murmurs though his deep voice makes your stomach flutter. "I ain't fucked you yet. Mornin' sex is the best sex."
You roll your eyes, still struggling to take his arms from around you. "I thought you said high sex is," you giggle. He snorts into his pillow, scooting closer to begin kissing your back. "Babygirl, I say a lot of shit when I'm horny," he chuckles. "All sex is the best sex."
He then begins kissing up to your neck right behind your ear. Your weak spot. "Mmm," you softly moan, instinctively leaning your head back to give him more of your throat to kiss.
"Yeah?" he teasingly asks. "Now isn't this so much better than goin' wherever it is you were off to?"
"I have to go to the gym," you whimper in protest, pushing his face away from you. "C'mon, I've got a routine. You know this." You go to pry his arms off of you, but he stops you by suddenly moving on top of you.
"Toji, no!" you protest, irked by his full weight on top of you, keeping you locked underneath him. He smirks down at you, barely reacting to your pissed scowl. "Toji, yes," he chuckles. "Now c'mon, babydoll. Why go to the gym when I can train ya just fine?"
He leans down to begin assaulting your neck in kisses and nibbles that have your pussy waking up out of its slumber, especially when you feel his cock begin to stir against your inner thigh.
"And besides." He pauses, smirking at you. "I can make you sweat even more than one of those machines can."
And twenty minutes later, cutting right into your workout time, Toji makes do on his word and gives you his own workout by having you bounce on his cock while he fucks you back, his firm, thick thighs slapping against yours as he fucks you from below.
"Fuck, Toji, f-fuck me!" you whine from above him, your hands gripping the headboard for dear life as you sweat out your hair and your thighs burn.
"See, babydoll?" he pantingly chuckles from below you, his own toned body shining in sweat. "Told ya I could make ya sweat more."
GOJO
Like Toji, this blue-eyed bitch is one horny bastard. And an attention whore.
Satoru swears he is dying when you don't give him even an ounce of the attention he needs. You jokingly call him 'Tinkerbell' because of this. "She dies without attention too," you giggled to him.
"She's got the right idea," your goofy ass man said to you, his head in your lap while you played in his hair. "You've gotta give your romantic partners the attention they crave, baby. It's a part of life! It's the natural order of things!"
He practices this now, lying on your couch on his stomach, his long legs hanging off the edge. He watches you like a begging puppy as you scurry around your living room in your tight spandex shorts and sports bra, moving your Swiffer Wet Jet around your hardwood floor.
He whines at you, taking on the full persona of a dog, and you roll your eyes. He’s been wining ever since he got here and realized you were too busy cleaning before your lunch with Geto to give him any attention. "Stop whining, you big baby,” you huff, barely even looking at him.
Your golden retriever boyfriend sits up on your couch, exasperated and dramatic as always. "But I'm your big baby," he protests with a white-toothed smile and that adoring look in his blue eyes that always gets you. However, you ignore it and he withers. “C'mon, Y/N, baby! You've been wiping the damn floor for an hour now!"
"Satoru, you just got here ten minutes ago," you sigh, leaning against your Wet Jet. "I told you after I'm done the floor, we can go to lunch and meet up with Geto." You turn around and continue to mop, but that’s a big mistake.
Your man takes advantage of this position and wraps his arms around you from behind. “Can we go to lunch after I fuck you?" he suggests. "I can't eat when I'm this horny." He begins to kiss your neck as he presses his toned, hard front against your back, giving you a feel of his dick pushing through his hoochie daddy shorts.
He knew what the fuck he was doing wearing those things. “Gojo, no,” you moan. "C'mon, stop." You try to push him away, but he stops you, locking his arm tight around you.
“Then you stop bein' so sexy," he murmurs. "You knew what the fuck you were doin' when you decided to put these on, baby." His hands slide down your shorts, pushing them up higher so he can slip his fingers under them to caress your thighs.
You bite back a pleasured smile at his ministrations and swiftly smack his hands away. He mockingly hisses in pain, giving you a look of pure betrayal. “No, no, no," you firmly say. "You keep distracting me, you'll get no pussy later."
His expression deepens, his eyes wide like you just told him you’d kill him. “Babyyy!" he whines. "Don't be so cruel!" He then drops to his knees and grabs your hips, pushing his face into your stomach.
"Gojo," you sigh, though you also giggle. "Now how am I supposed to wipe the floor like this?"
You put your hand in his hair, playing with the white locks as he begins to kiss your stomach and sides. You bite back a moan, hating him for how good his lips feel. "Alright, fine!" you huff. He looks up at you and grins like a kid on Christmas Day, finally breaking you. “I'll stop for five minutes so we can make out, but ONLY making out. Nothing else, got it?"
"Got it," he replies, knowing damn well he is lying.
Fifteen minutes later, his head is between your thighs and your mouth is locked around his cock. You sit on top of him, straddling his face with your thick, delicious thighs that Gojo can’t get enough of. He grips them, closing them around his ears as he sucks and slurps on your sobbing, wet, puffy cunt. Your shorts have been discarded, your panties are pulled aside, and your sports bra is peeled up to reveal your juicy tits that you rub against his abs to stimulate your nipples.
Your mouth goes up, down, up, down, bobbing in rhythm to take his thick, veiny shaft down your throat, his pulsing head touching the back of your throat and making you gag. The lewd sounds and your saliva dripping from your mouth seem to make Gojo go feral.
He begins to eat your pussy even sloppier, moaning into your hole as he does so. You moan and whimper around his cock, struggling to keep rhythm. You’re sure you’re about to cum until you hear your phone ring from behind you, sitting up on the couch arm. You pop Gojo’s dick out of your mouth, the beautiful shaft glistening in spit. "'T-Tarou," you stammer. "Mmm, baby! The phone! It's Geto!"
Gojo tears himself away from your pussy, his mouth coated in your juices and his own spit. "I've got it," he growls. "Don't stop suckin' my cock." He reaches down to push your head back down onto him just as he answers your phone. "Yeah?" he asks right before he moans out, "Fuck, babygirl, yes!"
You hear Geto sigh on the other line and you glare back at Gojo when you realize he put the call on speaker. This motherfucker! “I called at a very bad time, obviously," Geto sighs. "I should've known since you answered Y/N's phone instead of her."
"Gojo, stop!" you yell, but you're cut off by a moan as Gojo begins playing with your clit. "Sorry, Sugu, but Y/N and I are gonna be a little late,” he smugly replies, watching you grind your hips and that gorgeous ass onto his fingers. “Is 2PM a better time?"
"Sure," Geto sighs. "Just for God's sake, make sure you get this all out now because I don't wanna watch you two eye fuck at lunch." You flush with embarrassment, thinking of what he’ll think once you’re actually sitting across from him at lunch.
Gojo laughs, taking his fingers away and sucking on them. "Gotchu," he chuckles. "Now unless you wanna listen to me fuck my girl's brains out, I suggest you hang up."
In one swift motion, he grabs your hips, tosses you down onto the couch on your hands and knees, and moves behind you. You squeak at the sudden movement and his strength, aroused by the fact that he’s fast and so strong.
Tossing your phone away, Gojo taps his cock against your begging pussy lips, emitting a moan from both of you, much to Geto’s dismay. "You two are disgusting," he scoffs before he hangs up right as Gojo begins to piston into you from behind.
You gasp as his thick cock slides into you and quickly begins to stroke your insides, pleasurable tingles surging from your clit the more he hits your shit dead on from the back. You grip the arm of the couch for dear life as his hands spank your ass, the burst of pain shocking you like electricity as your ass bounces against him and your titties jiggle with every thrust. “God, ‘Tarou, yes!” you yelp. “Yes, right there! Do it right there!”
Gojo wraps a hand around your hair, grinning down at the slut that has taken your place. "You still got those motherfuckin' errands to run?" he demands. You shake your head desperately, whimpering. “Huh?” He teasingly asks, yanking on your hair. “I can't hear you, mama. Tell me what you're doin' right now."
You don’t answer for a while, too busy moaning and sobbing in pleasure about his dick to do so. But when you finally feel that knot tightening and snapping in your core and your pussy spasm around your boyfriend’s cock, you do answer: "Cumming!" you sob. "I-I'm cumming!"
GETO
Suguru is a little more understanding than the other two, especially as a single father, but when you get him in that particular mood, it’s harder to see you go.
He lays on his side under his sheets, one elbow propped up to hold up his head as he watches you sit on the edge of his bed. He frowns as you pull your jeans up over your thick thighs and luscious ass covered in love bites that he gave you last night. “Do you really have to leave me this morning, precious?" he tuts. "I just think you need at least another couple of minutes of rest."
You look at him over your shoulder, drinking in how sexy he looks with the sunlight pouring in through the bedroom window. It illuminates his tanned skin and muscles, turning his long, black longs into spun gold that cascade down his back and shoulders.
You had come over after working a Sunday shift to spend time with him and his daughters, Mimiko and Nanako, as you frequently did since Geto lives so close to your workplace. He cooked a delicious hibachi dinner for you, played Disney movies, and after he put the girls to bed, retreated with you to his bedroom to put your ass through his mattress and make you cum a good four times throughout the sleepless night.
But now that night has ended and you must go back to reality, which means leaving and running your errands for Monday morning before your night shift. "By rest, you mean cuddling with you," you giggle. Geto purses his lips at you, about to argue. “Well...yes."
You laugh at his quickness to give up on an argument and scoot closer to him in your jeans and bra. He opens his arms for you immediately, wrapping them around you. "Baby, you have to go to work in an hour and take your daughters to school." You run a hand through his hair, making him close his eyes and relax under your touch. “Meanwhile, my dog needs his walk, I have to pick up my dry cleaning, and I need to deep clean my bedroom."
His eyes clench tightly at the mention of your list your stupid errands. "Can't all of that wait until we get some time together?" he sighs. He opens his eyes, the same ones you stared into while he filled you up and made you cum last night, and presses a kiss to your hand. “Daddy needs his kisses too."
You instantly feel your body react—your heart thumping and your pussy excitedly throbbing—at the mention of your favorite nickname for him. You just love it when he refers to himself as ‘Daddy’ in the third person and he knows that. But you also know that he goes insane when you call him that too.
So you lean in and press a teasing kiss to the corner of his mouth. “Daddy will get his kisses later," you whisper, much to his dismay. “But he can watch his girl get dressed."
You jump off of the bed before he can snatch you back up and slowly, tantalizingly begin to put on and button your blouse that he ripped off of you last night. You stare at him through your lashes as you do, leaning forward to give him a view of your titties in your lace bra.
Geto bites his lip at the sight of you, the little reverse strip tease causing a tent to form under the sheets. "You little tease," he exhales. "You keep doin' that and you won't be gettin' out of here."
You raise a brow at his warning, pausing from buttoning your blouse. "Oh?" you teasingly ask. "And how the fuck you gon' do that? Tie me up?" You laugh at your joke, thinking he’s not serious, but Geto only smirks at you. Instantly, you regret pushing him.
If there is one thing about Geto Suguru, he is dead serious about everything, including backing up his shit talk in the bedroom. It doesn’t take long for him to have you naked and wrapped up tight in his arms while you toss your ass into him from behind, your hands pressed against the headboard. You have to do your very best to keep your moans down as he pistons himself into you, his cock and his fingers stimulating your clit, causing your pussy to drip and grip around him.
"How's this for tyin' you up?" he grunts into your ear. "No rope can hold you tighter than I can. You like this, mama?"
You don’t have to give an answer—your body is responding just as he wants with your soaked pussy squelching and squeezing around him, even more so as he rubs your clit with his calloused fingers. But you find yourself giving a verbal answer anyway: "God, Sugu, yes!" you whine. "Yes, I fuckin' love it!"
"Daddy?" a sudden small voice asks along with a knock. Geto immediately covers your mouth and slows his pistoning hips, but doesn't stop rolling them. He continues to slowly fuck you but presses a finger to his lips. "Yeah, Mimiko, baby?" he calls, keeping his voice steady despite still dicking you down.
"I'm hungry!" Mimiko whines from behind the door. "Can you cook breakfast now?"
"In a minute, buttercup," Geto replies. "Daddy is busy helpin' Y/N out with somethin'. Wait till I'm done, okay, pumpkin?" He takes your hand off of the headboard and places it on your pussy, coaxing you to rub it in time with his quickening thrusts.
Though Mimiko whines in protest at waiting for her food, she listens to her father anyway. "Okay," she replies and wanders off.
Once she's gone, Geto sighs in relief and gives you an apologetic smile. "Guess this is tunin' into a quickie," he chuckles. "Don't worry, mama, I've gotchu. Just hold onto the headboard 'cause I'm not goin' slow."
He begins to beat your pussy up just the way you need him to, knocking the air out of your lungs. Your pussy tightens around him, signaling the oncoming of your orgasm just as your phone alert begins to ring. "Sugu, m-my dry cleaning!" you sob. "I've got to-"
But Geto silences you with a sloppy kiss. "Fuck your dry cleaning," he grunts. "You better cum for me if you wanna get outta here in time, baby."
Luckily, you do and gush all around your man's thick cock while he cums on your ass, but you're late to pick up your dry cleaning.
NANAMI
Kento understands the struggles and responsibilities of adulting….but there’s just something about your sundress.
He had agreed to go with you to a farmers market in the city that finally returned for the season when he took a special interest in how you're dressed. "Sweetie, are you ready yet?" he calls from your bedroom. "I thought you said we have to be there early before it gets crowded."
You check your hair and outfit once more before you quickly prance out of the bathroom to your bedroom. "I'm coming, I'm coming!" you shout. "Sorry, I had trouble pullin' up the zipper to my..."
You stop talking immediately, noticing the way Nanami is staring at you from the middle of the room. His eyes are slightly widened and his lips are parted as he gazes at you. "What's wrong?" you worriedly ask. "Are my nipples showing?"
"No, no," he quickly replies. "You're fine, but...is that what you're wearing to the farmer's market today?"
He points at your floral-printed sundress with its spaghetti straps and hemline that stops at your knees, giving him a sneaky peek at your thighs. Your beautiful legs trail down to the slides and gold anklet you wear to bring the outfit to a cute close.
"Well, yeah!" you giggle. "It's warm today and I thought I'd look cute in it, don'tcha think?" You swish your hips, causing the ruffle of your dress to swish tantalizing around your legs and waist. Nanami watches, a blush suddenly coating his cheeks.
"Erm...w-well, yes." He pauses to clear his throat. "Yes, it's very...very..." He stops, swallowing hard. You stop, nervous about his weird reaction to your fit. "What?" you somberly ask. "Do you not like it?"
Nanami places his hands on his slim hips, visibly frustrated and flustered. "No, I don't like it," he replies. "I fucking love it and that's the problem. You look so damn good in that, I just wanna say fuck the market and fuck you."
You are gobsmacked by Nanami's dirty confession. Hearing your usually calm and collected gentleman look so desperate and sound so vulgar makes your stomach flutter and your nipples instantly harden. "W-Well, thank you, baby," you giggle, flushing shyly. "I wouldn't say no to that if I didn't want some fresh flowers, herbs, and organic strawberries."
Nanami nods, knowing how much you love fresh produce for your diet and herbs for your kitchen. "You're right," he sighs. "I shouldn't be thinking like this when you have an errand to run. After all, this is for your groceries."
"Yeah!" you agree because this is the adult thing to do. "It's better if we leave now and come back to this later." You pivot on your foot with your mini bag dangling from your fingers, but you don't realize that it's unzipped until your phone falls out and clatters to the floor.
"Shit!" you gasp and immediately bend over to pick it up. You also don't realize how short your sundress is. When you bend over, you unintentionally give Nanami an eyeful of your delectable asscheeks and the panties you're wearing for the day.
Nanami's cock instantly surges to life and he can't control himself anymore. As you stand up straight, he immediately grabs you from behind and presses you against the wall. "Ken!" you gasp. "Baby, what are you-"
You pause when you feel his hard-on pressing against you from behind through his jeans. "I'm sorry, darling," he ruggedly says in your ear. "But I don't think I can wait till after the shopping. I need you now."
His big hands coax you to bend forward, your ass sticking out, and brace your hands against the wall, your bag falling to the ground. He lifts up your dress to reveal your panties and thighs where he begins to litter both in sloppy, open-mouthed kisses.
"B-But, baby!" you moan. "But...fuck, Kento! B-But the strawberries-"
"Will be there," he finishes. "All you need to worry about now is us and you cumming." He stops and holds your eyes with his as you look back at him. "Am I clear?" he firmly asks and then moves your panties to the side to reveal your pretty pussy to him.
"Yes, sir!" you whine as he begins to gently run his fingers over your slit.
"Good girl," he chuckles and his tongue steals all your thoughts of fresh produce and flowers away.
CHOSO
He’ll do and say anything to keep your ass with him.
Choso is usually aloof to a lot of things and people, but not to you. You are the only one he'd like to see every day, all the time.
He makes that known by calling and texting you throughout the day, surprising you at your crib with flowers and food you like; staying the weekend, and inviting you over to his place when you're free.
He wants you all the time. Work and other shit be damned...including errands. He will protest and argue you into the ground whenever you tell him you need to go run your errands for the day.
You need to go grocery shopping? He'll lock his arms tight around you, knowing that you can't get free. "Choso, no," you'd giggle in protest. "I have to get groceries."
"Just five more minutes," he'd mumble. "It's cold in here." Despite your room being toasty warm.
You need to go work out? He'll promise to cook for you just to have to stay. "Choso, I have to go to Pilates," you'd say.
"But I'm making coffee," he'd reply, giving you a saddened look that made him look adorable with his spiked ponytails. "C'mon, mama, you can show up a little late, can't you?"
Now isn't any different. Your alarm goes off, you go to get up, and your man tightens his grip on you. He goes to say something, but you put your hand in his face. "Uh-uh," you say. "No excuses this time. I need to go to Target and Smoothie King before my class today."
He picks his head up from the pillow, a cute scowl on his face and his black hair messily all over his head. "What's at Smoothie King?" he curiously asks.
"My Morning Mango Blast smoothie, of course!" you reply. He blinks at you, wondering if you’re serious. "Errands!" you giggle as you peek back the covers and pick up your pajama bottoms from the floor.
"Smoothie King is your errand?" he snorts, rolling his eyes. “I'll never understand you women."
"You don't have to," you shoot back. "Not entirely." As you pull your bottoms up, you stick your ass out, teasingly giving him a shot of your panties before they disappear under your shorts.
As you go to fetch some clothes, Choso grabs your arm. “Not so fast," he says in a sleepy, teasing drawl. You turn, seeing that he has become hard from under the sheets.
“Nooo," you groan. "Not again! What is it with you and not wantin' me to run my errands?" You let him pull you close, giggling as his lips begin to caress your neck. “You can go to Target and get your smoothie at any time," he argues. "Your class starts at 11 AM which means we got about..." "
He pauses to look at his watch. LThree hours till you're out of commission." He goes back to kissing you, his hands caressing your back and sides.
You moan at his pleasurable kissing and touching, but you know you can’t fall victim to his trap. "No, Choso," you sigh. "I don't have the time, okay? I've got errands to run."
Choso picks his head up from your chest to stare at you, his eyes stern. “No, you don't," he argues.
You cock your head at him, pursing your lips. Your attitude can’t be contained unfortunately. "Says who?" you scoff.
He sits up, exciting you with how demanding he’s become. “Says your man," he replies. "And I say your gonna leave your Target run and smoothie for later so I can pay."
Your pussy practically turns into a faucet. Nothing turns you on more than your boo telling you he’ll take care of you, but you’re not going to give up that easily.
You cross your arms over your chest, standing tall on your decision. "And what are you gonna do if I say no?" you challenge.
At the sight of Choso’s pierced brow twitching, you know you got to him. And minutes later, he gets to you by spreading you on your mattress and slurping up your pussy, your juices spilling out onto the sheets and down your chin. His tatted hands pin your thighs to the bed, his fingers digging into them as his pierced tongue rapidly moves across your slit, his nose nudging against your clit.
"God, Choso, yes!" you whine. "Please right there! Right fuckin' there, baby!” You can't keep your voice down nor stop your hips from rolling, all thoughts of errands gone. The only thing you are now focused on is cumming.
Being the soft yet demanding Dom that your boyfriend is, he picks his head up to look at you from between your thighs and rubs your clit with his index and middle fingers at the rapid pace and pressure you love. “Now what is it you had to do today?” he asks.
“Nothing!” you whimper, your toes curling and your hands balling into fists on the bedsheets. “I-I don’t have to do anything!” Choso leans in and begins pressing kisses to your clit as he slowly slides his fingers inside of you, curling upwards.
“So you’re gonna stay with me?” he pushes. “You’re not gonna worry about any of that shit, are you, baby?” He wraps his cushiony, soft lips on your desperate clit again which begins throbbing in time with the strokes of his fingers inside of you.
“N-No!” you stammer. “Oh, shit, Choso, I’m gonna cum!” It doesn't take long so Choso doesn't slow down or speed up, not stopping until you gush all over his fingers and pierced tongue. He greedily, eagerly cleans you up, even sliding his tongue between your ass crack, before you are a whimpering, over-stimulated mess.
He then lays down beside you and grabs his phone while you stare at him, starry-eyed and winded. He silently opens the app store and downloads the Smoothie King app on his phone.
"So what smoothie did you say you wanted?" he asks. You damn near suck the skin off of his dick afterwards.
INO
He’ll go with you to do an errand run but don’t act shocked if he pulls his dick out and tries to do you in the car.
Ino is one horny motherfucker...especially when it comes to your fine ass! You could wear a damn clown costume and he'd get rock for you. He thinks you're the most beautiful, sexiest woman he's ever met and to fuck you any chance he gets is a privilege he intends to take advantage of.
Even when you're busy. While Ino doesn't like to bother you when you have things to do, he does like to tease you. An errand run is just the place to do it. But he quickly realizes that you're doing the teasing despite not doing anything remotely sexual as you shop for groceries at your favorite supermarket with him tagging along
"God, you look so good in these fuckin' shorts, sugar," he groans, watching your ass move in your teeny tiny shorts. “ You did this on purpose." His eyes are glued to each cheek jiggling and moving when he should be helping you look for fresh produce for your fridge.
You realize that it was a bad idea to bring him along grocery shopping because of how horny he is. "Maybe," you giggle, picking up an orange and squeezing it lightly to check if it's ripe. "I'm not gonna wear sweats in 89-degree weather, Ino."
You turn to him as he trails behind you in his denim shorts and loose tank top that exposes so much skin and muscle that you can feel the feral slut inside of you clawing to get out and suck his dick in the middle of the store.
"I would hope not, but goddamn, this isn't workin' out for me!" he whines, looking like he's in agony as you lead him over to the peaches and nectarines. "You've got your man completely down bad for you." He leans against the shelves, his eyes lustful and playful.
You smile, pressing a kiss sticky with gloss to his waiting lips. "I know," you purr and hand him the basket you're carrying. "Now help me pick out the ripest peach here." You turn around and bend over to grab a nectarine, unaware of the fact that your shorts sink between your asscheeks as you do.
"Oh, I found one," he says before squeezing your ass. You gasp, turning to move his hand away, but he stops you by moving closer to your body so no one notices. "Uh-uh, don't move. Don't wanna bruise it...yet."
"Ino, cut it out!" you hiss. "We're in public!" He scowls confusedly at you, pouting. “Da hell does that mean?" he asks. "That didn't stop you from wearin' these little hoochie shorts." His hand slinks down to toy with your shorts that make your shapely legs look even better to him.
"Hoochie shorts?" you scoff, finally moving his hand away. "And what are those?" You nod down at his pants that stop mid-thigh. "You tryin' to scoop up a horny mom with those on?"
He smiles at your raised eyebrow and your hand on your hip. "But you're my twinsie!" he jokes. "I had to match with you!" Your eyes snake back down to his thighs, imagining very naughty things about them all of a sudden. "Maybe that was a mistake," you whisper.
Unfortunately for you, you find a banana that isn't mixed with the ones located a foot away from you with the apples. Instead, this one is thicker, harder, and located between Ino's thighs which are quickly tightening the more he looks at you.
Ino presses against you and sneakily moves your hand to cup his hard-on, making you nervously smile at the risky move. "You wanna go to the car and take care of it for me?" he suggestively asks into your ear.
Feeling just as freaky and your pussy throbbing in your panties, you turn to him and push your tits up against his hard pecs, all peaches and nectarines forgotten. “What's in it for me?" you ask, raising a brow at him.
He shows you just what when he has you folded up like a pretzel in the backseat of his car an hour after you get your groceries, his long dick in your mouth and his fingers buried deep in your pussy. Your shorts and panties are somewhere in the front seats, your tits jiggling in your sports bra as you bob your head up and down Ino's length.
"Fuck, baby!" he moans, his voice bouncing off of the car walls, mingling with your lewd moans and gagging sounds as you deepthroat him. He gently slides himself out of your mouth, leaving you drooling and your chin coated in spit.
"Come the fuck here," he growls, pulling you off of him before yanking you on top of him. You squeak and brace your hands on the car ceiling right as he takes his cock and gently slides himself inside of you, emitting a moan of release from both of you.
He only gives you a few slow thrusts before the image of your soft ass bouncing against him gets to him and he begins to go faster and harder as you bounce on his cock. "Shit, Ino, yes!" you whine, gripping the car ceiling handles for dear life as he fucks the absolute shit out of you.
If anyone were to be inside the car, all they would hear are the sounds of skin slapping against skin, your ass clapping against Ino's pelvis, and soft pants and moans as you eagerly fuck each other.
But thank God the windows are soundproof.
Ino laughs as he grips your hips, continuing to drill into you from below. "Bet you'll be askin' me to go on errand runs again, huh, sugar?" he cackles.
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goofyjelly · 10 months ago
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YIPPEEEEEE
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askdacast · 3 months ago
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hey block people fans, so I really love the Tanuki Joel/Smallishbeans fanart goin around as inspired by @mellozheist's design and it made me think, what youkai (Japanese folklore monsters) would we portray the other Hermitcraft/Life Series members as? Some of the more obvious and fun ideas I thought of:
Scar - Kitsune, easy. Charismatic, cunning wiles, enterprising, known for tricking people, tendency to be wet cat on the rare instance you find his weakness. Also kitsune are rivals to tanuki (although Scar and Joel aren't really rivals so much as occasional partners in crime). You could alternatively choose the bakeneko because it's also a wiley shapeshifter and cat connection (RIP Jellie).
Grian - Tengu, also easy choice. Not just for the obvious pesky bird connection. Tengu are also trickster beings. They are sometimes evil (abducting humans) but sometimes benign and teach humans secret arts. They are excellent fighters and leaders, but just like a regular crow, they can just as easily goof off for no reason at all. Dangerously capable but also goofy bird fits Grian to a T.
Mumbo - Kappa, maybe? He's not associated with water much iirc but the kappa from not iRL folklore but a certain series are associated with engineering, and I needed an appropriate one for the Redstoners lol
Etho - Kamaitachi. Weasel with sharp blades. Like a tanuki (Joel), but consistently sneaky, while also being just a little guy. Can probably team up with Skizzle and Tango for the traditional trio of sneaky people with sharp blades. EDIT: I know there's fanart of him as a kitsune to match Tanuki Joel, and I'm by no means contesting that, this is just a fun alternative.
Cleo - Yamauba/Yamanba. I'M NOT CALLING CLEO AN OLD HAG, LET ME EXPLAIN. DANGEROUSLY FIERCE AND INTELLIGENT WITCH WHO LIVES IN THE MOUNTAINS AND IS JUST AS PROTECTIVE OF HER (potentially foster) CHILDREN AS MUCH AS SHE IS A TERROR TO THOSE WHO CROSS HER.
Bdubs/Skizzleman - Oni. They beeg. They angery. They not necessarily dumb but they stronk and one of them has lived in the mountains at least once. I can even see Bdubs being like a Sakata Kintoki spoof (the "son" of a yamanba a.k.a Cleo)
Jimmy - Yosuzume. Birds of bad luck. Canary curse. Need I explain more?
feel free to give alternative suggestions or ideas for the others, or ask me what youkai I think might fit certain traits, I may not know much about the block people but I know a little too much about Japanese folklore so this is just a fun exercise for me
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sematarygirls · 2 months ago
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okay but sonny showing you off infront of the squad and making Amanda jelly because he’s sooooo in love with you
need tbh, omg 🤭
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he would be so excited to introduce you to the squad. you two had only been dating for a couple of weeks, but he talked nonstop about you. they thought he rambled enough before he met you, but after? my god, they wanted to throttle him.
he'd want to do it in a casual setting when the whole team was relaxed and not worrying about cases, so when amanda proposed that they all go out for drinks, he saw the perfect opportunity.
he asked, of course, if he could invite you. he didn't want you to just show up and have it be awkward. they all agreed, though, of course. they wanted to see who had been able to make him so happy recently (also, they weren't even entirely sure that you weren't just a figment of his imagination).
amanda had been oddly quiet when he brought up inviting you, plastering a tight smile on her face and nodding.
"of course," she said, something unreadable in her tone.
normally, sonny would have immediately picked up on her shift in demeanor. he was her, self-proclaimed, best friend after all, but he was just so excited to finally introduce you to these people that he had grown to consider his second family.
he shot you a quick text, asking if you were available to meet them at the bar, and thankfully, you were. although you would probably drop anything you were doing if he asked you to anyway.
his fingers drummed on the bar impatiently as he waited for you. he kept glancing over at the door, willing you to walk through it.
"look at him; he's like a lovesick puppy," fin teased him, noticing that he was more interested in the front door than the conversation going on.
"leave the poor boy alone, fin," olivia scolded him playfully. sonny rolled his eyes at their teasing, not paying it any mind.
"oh, here she is," he exclaimed, his eyes lighting up. he practically jumped out of his seat to greet you at the door.
"hey," you laughed, giving him a quick kiss on the lips as he appeared in front of you, seemingly out of nowhere.
"we're right over here," he said, a big, goofy grin on his face. he rested his hand on your lower back, leading you over to the squad. "everyone, this is my girlfriend," he introduced you.
you smiled, giving a little wave as you said hello and told them your name. "it's so nice to finally meet you all. sonny has told me all about you."
"he has, has he?" olivia grinned, raising an eyebrow. sonny smiled nervously, blushing as he rubbed the back of his neck with the hand that wasn't secured around your waist.
"likewise," fin nodded, giving you a warm smile. "i was beginning to think carisi here was making you up."
"nope, definitely real," you laughed nervously. everyone fell silent for a moment, an awkward tension settling. you tried not to take it too personally. you were a stranger, and they were like family. it was natural for there to be some awkwardness. sonny cleared his throat, deciding to break the awkward silence.
"here, take my seat," he insisted, ushering you to the barstool.
"thank you," you smiled brightly, your heart fluttering at your boyfriend's kindness. you didn't think there'd ever be a time when he didn't make your heart race.
"chivalry isn't dead after all," fin joked as you took a seat.
"yeah, yeah," sonny rolled his eyes, a smile playing on his lips. he was used to fin's little remarks by now. he stood behind you, one hand on your waist and the other holding his beer. he was so close that if you leaned back a little, you'd probably press against him. it made a blush rise to your cheeks.
"amanda, right?" you asked, turning your attention to the blonde sitting next to you. she'd been awfully quiet, eyeing you warily. you knew how close sonny was with her, so it was important to you that she liked you.
"yup, that's me," she says, her tone uninterested. she flashes a smile your way, one that doesn't quite meet her eyes.
your brows furrowed slightly. you got the impression that she didn't like you, and you couldn't possibly think of a reason why that may be. you'd only been here for five minutes tops. how had you already done something to put you out of her good graces?
you didn't have long to dwell on this fact, however, because fin's voice cut through your thoughts, making you turn to face him. he began telling some story about his ex-wife that had you smiling and laughing along with him.
fin was so enigmatic. it was almost impossible not to be sucked into whatever he was saying, just by the way that he was saying it.
the rest of the night was a blur of drinks and stories. in the couple hours you were with the squad, you'd learned all about their job and all the embarrassing things sonny had done at one point or another.
he kept on hand on or around you at all times, staying close. so close that you could almost feel the rumble of his laugh. he smiled and doted on you all night long, making you blush. he was so in love with you, and he didn't even try to hide it.
amanda stayed relatively quiet throughout the night, and you could practically feel her burning gaze as she stared at you. she didn't seem anything like what sonny had told you about her, but again, you tried not to take it personally. you were sure she was probably lovely once you got to know her.
really, though, amanda was jealous. she hated how nice you were because it made it hard to hate you (hard, not impossible). she tried to be cordial enough and not show her dislike for you, but to be honest, her poker face wasn't all that great.
she was happy at first when she'd heard him talking about you two, but seeing you two together stirred something inside her that she'd rather not admit.
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goofyjelly · 4 months ago
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I heard the news that trump was almost killed and IMMEDIATELY went to check the supernatural tag to reblog the news in the way god intended.
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