#was able not to and he still has to to an extent but he thought he found the one guy he didn’t have to and realized he just got use to it
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esotericbluntbaby · 1 day ago
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compensation
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hamzahthefantastic x reader
description: going against your wishes, your boyfriend decides to fight another match after spraining his wrist the last time he boxed. injured, he returns home to his girlfriend, who can't help but feel more than just "angry."
mentions: boxer!hamzah, bf!hamzah, angsttt, female reader, sub! hamzah, blood, bruises, nsfw!
GUYS IM SORRY I FORGOT TO POST THIS PLS DONT KILL ME
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this was the first time that hamzah kept you in the dark, betraying your trust in him.
he was always a strong-willed, passionate boy; in fact, it was one of the things you found attractive in him. he kickstarted his youtube with his resilience and determination. giving up was simply not an option for him; one way or another, plan after plan, he'd get his goal even if it meant he had to cut off his limbs and sell them. if hamzah wanted something, he would get it, similar to a horse kicking whenever it's being restrained. though, normally, he knew when to stop pushing, especially when the cost was more than the benefit.
the last time hamzah boxed, his wrist fractured like a 6 year old cracks a wishbone. you, obviously, knew that getting hurt was apart of his hobby; you didn't like it, but you accepted that it was inevitable for some part of him to be banged up and broken. he allowed you to stay in the hospital with him during the time he was getting monitored, meaning that you were allowed to hear the doctor tell him that he had to wait 6 weeks to box again.
during the hospital visit, hamzah realized he had a match in exactly 5 weeks. you argued with him, telling him that there would be no way in hell that he'd be able to box until his wrist is fixed. of course, being as stubborn as a mule, hamzah argued back that he had to fight if his life depended on it. eventually, the night settled in as you laid in bed together that night, cuddling; he told you that you were right. reassuring you that he wouldn't be fighting, he kissed you goodnight. you thought you wouldn't have to worry about it anymore.
that was, until tonight, an hour after the match: when hamzah walked in the front door, bloody and bruised.
his eye began to swell, darkening around the indents of his skull. the black eye that adorned his face was accompanied by a deep gash that exposed the layer beneath his skin. he looked at you with guilt plastered in his banged up face, furrowed eyebrows and pursed lips being muted by the extent of his injuries. you didn't have to guess where he was: you felt betrayed by the fact that you knew exactly what he went out to do. alongside his injuries and deception, came a girlfriend who wasn't going to speak to him.
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not a single word was said when you grabbed his other wrist and walked to the bathroom with him; the room was filled with silence and guilt radiating off of him. he was currently sitting on the toilet seat as you rummaged around the medicine cabinet for materials that would help you fix his wounds. though you were upset, you weren't going to leave him to tend to his own injuries; you were still his girlfriend, after all. sitting on the floor, you grabbed his wrist to check how worsened it became.
"baby-"
"no, hamzah."
from your previous arguments, you knew that hamzah has a habit of overloading you with pet names. he knew he fucked up; you know he fucked up. him starting his sentence with "baby" helped you realize that he knew he's in the doghouse.
taking the textured, cotton gauze, you began to wrap his wrist with a softness that foiled your emotions towards him. you felt his eyes trained on you like the aimbot of a video game; his gazed fixated on every single movement you made. he noticed the way that you still looked so pretty even when you were mad at him. the way your face looked, tensed and full of agitation, created a pool of guilt that he swam in. he hated making you upset, but he simply needed to box. it was passion. it was commitment. he had to do it; at least, that's what he was telling himself. however, no matter how much he told himself that he had to fight, he knew it was wrong of him to go against your wishes and back. he knew you wanted the best for him and his physical being.
"i'm sorry. i shouldn't have gone tonight. i was being stupid and i shouldn't have went behind your back like that."
you listened to him apologize, yet, didn't respond. in fact, you didn't even look at him. there was no acknowledgement of his apology; it was almost like it never even happened in the first place. he needed to know how truly upset you were. instead, you focused on wrapping his wrist with a second layer of gauze, to keep everything in place.
"baby, please. just talk to me- i don't care if you cuss me out or give me hell for betraying you like that, just- please talk to me," his mannerisms were tense and rushed, "how do i fix this? how do i get you to speak to me? i'll do anything- i swear- you want me to quit boxing completely? i will. you want me to do all the housework in this house? i will- i'll do every single chore. shit, if even just sitting in a corner for days with no food or water would get you to speak to me, i'd do that. please, baby- please."
you finished wrapping the gauze by the time he finished his speech about what he'd do to get you to speak to him. you began to touch his face, examining the bruise on his eye and cheekbone like a scientist looking through a microscope. suddenly, he grabbed you by the cheek, forcing you to look up at him.
"i'm sorry. please, just speak to me. i'll do anything. talk to me. i just wanna hear your voice."
listening to him yearn for your voice made you feel a certain type of way. yes, you were mad. however, in a way, this whole situation was turning you on. you hated to admit it, but your boyfriend looked attractive with a black eye and bruised cheekbone. the fact that he was begging for you to speak to him made the sexual tension you were feeling within you even worse. his submissive side was creating a potion of ecstasy in your stomach; you wanted to see how far he'd go.
you sighed, "i don't know anymore, hamzah. you told me you wouldn't. i trust you less."
"i know, pretty, i'm sorry. i'll earn it back, i promise. i shouldn't have gone tonight. i was being an idiot."
standing up as his face followed where your eyes were, you rubbed it against his open wound, earning a wince from him as he gripped onto your waist. butterflies emerged in your stomach, causing you to feel similar to how light a fairy is.
"thanks for the warning," he said with sarcasm and irritation laced in his voice, opening his eyes from the hard shut he indulged in
"you don't deserve one."
he pulled you onto his lap, causing you to straddle him on the toilet seat. taking your cheeks, he cupped your face in his hands and sighed. he looked at you with a level of submissiveness you haven't seen in him. normally, hamzah was the dominant one; yet, you didn't mind that the roles switched.
"what can i do to get you to not be mad at me?"
"i dunno. you're a smart boy," you grabbed his cheek and stroked it with your thumb, "figure it out, baby."
you saw a lightbulb flicker on in his eyes. he sensed the tension in the room wasn't only angry, but there was also sexual tension in its silver lining.
"you want me to make it up to you?"
you leaned towards his ear, now whispering, "how are you gonna do that, hamzah?"
you felt something poke at your ass from beneath you, a slight twitch emerging from it too. your words made him as hard as a rock.
that's so fucking hot.
"baby, i thought you were mad at me."
"oh, i am. trust me, i'm fucking pissed."
he kissed you on the cheek, "i'm sorry."
he kissed you on the jawline, "i'm sorry."
he kissed you on the lips, "i'm sorry."
moving down to your neck, he kissed it longer than the pecks he gave you previously. you felt a sucking motion, as well as his tongue swirling on your sweet spot, shortly after. your breath got heavier, almost as if your lungs were being weighed down by hot air. your lips parted as he sucked a dark spot onto your neck.
"i'm sorry, pretty girl. forgive me?"
"not yet."
his eyebrows furrowed in confusion, "why not?"
"i need more than that."
"tell me what you need, pretty. i'll do it."
you leaned closer to his ear, kissing his neck and the area between, "you know what i want from you."
standing up from the toilet seat, your legs wrapped around his waist as he carried you to your bedroom. your lips began to intertwine with his as he walked through the hallway, your tongues melting together like two lollipops on a hot day. he laid you down on the bed, still kissing you with everything he had; he needs you to forgive him.
letting go of your lips, he moved closer to the edge of the bed, taking off your shorts and leaving you in your underwear. feeling exposed in front of hamzah was always nerveracking in your own way; however, this time it was different. you knew hamzah had to please you, leaving you with a newfound confidence.
"are you okay with this?" he asked, exhibiting a level of care that you were all too familiar with.
"do whatever you want to me, hamzah."
taking your underwear off, you were left laying on top of your sheets in a tank top. his arms wrapped around your legs like a snake to its prey, prying your legs apart with a sense of desperation.
"you're so pretty like this baby," he kissed the inner part of your thigh, "you're so fucking pretty."
he spit on the area between your legs, earning a subtle gasp from you. his tongue began to lap on you, dropping saliva on the area of you that was already wet. between your legs, you felt the roughness and neediness of his tongue. his hands squeezed your inner thighs as pleasure began to unravel the metaphoric yarn located in your stomach. hamzah was eating the fuck out of you, leading to your moans getting louder and louder with each and every movement his tongue created against you.
his tongue produced a dance that only the both of you would know. some parts were as fast as light, while other ones were full of yearning and slowness; he knew exactly how to balance it for you to feel the best that you could feel.
your hands made its way to his hair, "you're so pretty like this, hamzah. my boy- my pretty boy."
his movements got faster as his grip against your thighs tightened even more, as if you were going to fly away if he let go. similar to his hands, you squeezed his hair as his movements quickened in pace; you could feel the yarn unraveling like a rubber band about to snap.
"f-fuck- hamzah, i'm close-"
he kissed your core, before his tongue sped to a pace you haven't felt before. you watched him eat you out like there was no tomorrow, leaving loud moans echoing the room, before he felt you release into his mouth. kissing it once again, he looked up at you as his hands massaged the pillows that he was in between. you looked at each other with love while he watched your heavy breathing and fucked-out expression.
"forgive me?"
"i forgive you. please go box someone else, baby."
confusion was apparent in his face, "what?"
"you're so fucking hot when you're bruised and yearning."
--
author's note!
this is so short omfg i hate using anatomical words for smut LOL more coming soon!
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my-rose-tinted-glasses · 3 days ago
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I've been thinking about Futtara pretty much non stop since it aired and I rewatched the episode and I have a couple of thoughts. First of all, I've read the novel sex scene so I'm aware of the differences. But here is why I don't have a problem with it. I have no idea how they arrived at that scene in the novel. I have no idea of the conversations they had before. Since that scene is so different, perhaps in the novel things leading up to it are also different so no use, in my opinion, to compare the two at this moment. I understand some people's disappointment with this part, even before the translation was known, but that wasn't really the case for me. So this is my view on the episode, and I respect that people had different feelings about it. Anyway...
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Like I said before, it was never about the sex. Not really, as @emotionallychargedtowel l said here, and I agree, sure the sex was important cause it was the catalyst for everything so far. Them not having it and wanting to and all that came with that. But the way I see it, the actual sex was just the last step in the progression of these two coming together and by extent cheating on their partners. I should say that the flatmates relationship continues to be the most nebulous so I'm not sure, if it would even be called cheating, but since Sei said that keeping a secret was the reason for him to be in that room in the first place, I'm gonna use the general term of cheating for both of the pairs for now.
"I'm not gonna break or anything." - Sei
One of the things I really liked about this whole episode was that I felt like Sei was just wanting control for once. He left the house, he wanted to go to Hagiwara, he wanted to be touched and he wanted to have a secret from Fujisawa. He's been caged in for so long, that those emails and this relationship, more than just allowing him to have sex, it allows him a freedom he's been missing. Their house is this still place, untouched and unspoiled by exterior forces, but it's also a fragile state of things. Because all it takes is a small change in their routine to bring it all down. That first email exchange was the first disruption in this home, in this stillness. And from there, every day the ripples get bigger until something breaks and cannot be easily put back together.
"To think nobody wants this body. What a waste." - Sei
I love this sentence. Because it can go both ways. Yes, Sei is speaking to Hagiwara, so of course he means Kaori, but I also think he's talking about himself here. Because although he has expressed desire for Fujisawa, he never had that returned. So in a way he never really felt that anybody wanted his body too.
"Saying something like that is unfair. Felt like I was gonna cry." - Hagiwara "You're neither bad nor dirty." - Sei
I'm not taking anything away from the sex itself, and the fact that they are finally able to have it. But in the end, more than it is about the act, it's about validation. And that's why this is such an emotional moment for Hagiwara. I think he had given up on that. On being able to show all of himself and feel accepted. For the first time in a long time his desire was not met with rejection or perceived disgust. And again I think Sei is talking about himself here too. He has tried more than once to get this from Fujisawa, but he was always rebuffed and in a not so subtle way. So he has come to accept that, in this context, what he's been feeling is bad or dirty.
"Nothing will change. Nothing will be destroyed." Sei "We promised right? We wouldn't destroy anything?" Sei In the hotel room. / At the end in the office.
This is where things really get messed up. I think Sei and Hagiwara before they had sex, where looking for some of the same things but also something different. Sex, obviously, connection and validation. Everything I mentioned before. But for Hagiwara, it quickly became about something else. It was about sex first, then it was about sex with Sei, specifically. He no longer simply wanted to be touched, he wanted Sei to be the one to do it.
For Sei, I think he had a plan in mind. Just get the thing done, and get out. Almost like an item to check off a list. And somehow he thought that after it, he would be fine, and he could just carry on with his life as it had been so far. And not destroy what he had with Fujisawa. Like sex was the problem, and once he had it, everything would be fine. So the life he had at home was still untouched, if all he got from Hagiwara was something that was absent there.
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"What are we going to do now? Now that it's come to this... What are we going to do?" - Sei
He never entertained the possibility that it would be more than that. That it would go beyond the sex act. And all of a sudden, Hagiwara is bringing emotions into this, that go beyond the physical and Sei is a bit lost. Cause he needs to be able to go back. And this is where the nature of the flatmates relationship becomes an important piece that it's still mostly missing. Why does he want to go back? Why is it so important that this doesn't destroy what he has with Fujisawa? Does he love him? Does he feel indebted to him? Has he been conditioned in some way? Or does he believe that that is all he deserves?
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He left that hotel room, and a part of him believed, that everything that had happened there, stayed there. It only existed in that place and time, and wouldn't touch anything beyond it. He went back to what his familiar. The glass box Fujisawa built for him. But things are not so easy for Hagiwara. He let feelings in and they follow him beyond the walls of that hotel room. And the fact that Sei seems so unaffected by it, hurts him deeply. Because he thought he found himself an equal, that since he understood him, he would also match him emotionally after the fact. But Sei, is not capable of that. Or not willing at least.
I'm trying not to focus on the preview right now, as difficult as that is, and just look at what we know so far. And I need to understand Sei better. I need to know what is motivating him right now. What exactly is he holding on to with such determination?
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dykedvonte · 3 months ago
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I don’t remember where this quote was from but there’s a line that goes “I was looking through rose colored glasses for so long, the red flags just looked like the way to go.” And I think that embodies Curly’s view point in life and specifically about Jimmy a lot. Not to mentions a world where he actually makes it out of the Tulpar.
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theshadowrealmitself · 2 years ago
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I can’t articulate it, but it gets to me that, outside of Spock and I think Tuvok, being logical and regulating emotions isn’t something that Vulcans are shown to just endure, the same way they endure lower temperatures for other species, or higher oxygen for other species, or anything else that has to be incredibly uncomfortable at best to painful at worst that they just endure
The vibe I get from it is that a majority of Vulcans enjoy it, they like being logical, maybe they didn’t get a choice in being logical as kids, but unlike the select few like Sybok, they don’t seem to be resentful that they were raised like that at all
This isn’t just something they’re all forced to do now to prevent their emotions from causing their species’ end, dedicating themselves to logic brought them inner peace
#Star Trek#Vulcans#can’t articulate it especially while really tired and lying in bed#but hopefully y’all still get what I’m trying to say#I say I think for Tuvok because I know he struggles with violent thoughts#but I don’t think it has the same vibes as Spock struggling with his human half to fully accept Vulcan’s ways#even though it seems like fully dedicating himself like that brings more harm to his human half#which causes it to be more prominent like a vicious cycle#fuck definitely can’t articulate rn#also maybe for Tuvok Vulcan’s ways are actually even more appreciated#because they’re exactly there to help Vulcans regulate intense emotions#also I think this is part of why it seems more like Spock struggles compared to other Vulcans#for other Vulcans logic and regulating all emotions is seen as a way for them to be content#to be able to live their lives peacefully and to its best extent (peace and long life)#in a way that embracing emotions wouldn’t because they’re intense emotions would destroy themselves#but for Spock logic and regulating emotions is more about trying to reach impossible standards and get acceptance from everyone else#abd things like that again very tired can’t articulate#also adding to my hc that while Vulcans regulate their emotions and come to logical terms on why they feel like they do#and peacefully handle it#Spock believes that they’re all suppressing so that’s what he’s actually doing#just suppress suppress suppress everything which isn’t healthy#just my personal thoughts
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ducktollers · 10 days ago
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sorry ive got more spideryapping to do i gotta get it out of my system
#ive been pondering. if theyll do daily bugle photo stuff in spiderman 4#cuz like. when the comics first came out it made sense that nobody would be able to get pics but him#snd ofc those pictures would be valuable#but bruh NOW???? pictures of spiderman have to be a dime a dozen right. how does that work#like w tobey maguire it still makes sense cuz phones dont have advanced cameras. and they set up his photography interest#and w andrew garfield its still Kinda plausible but not a big plot point. and they set up photography w him too#but i dont recall mcu spiderman EVER touching a camera#like he could suddenly learn to do it cuz that thats happened in adaptations before but like. i dont think it makes sense for the setting#or character. but especially the setting#also. theres always the wholr conflict of him having to work for someone thats constantly slandering him#but surely j cubed is way too linked to aunt may dying i feel like its too far this time 😭😭😭#like idk. how else could he pay rent man presumably has no documents 😭 plus the classic sudden disappearances and flaking#like theres a reason hes always selling photos even still but i feel like it doesnt make sense now so wtf are they gonna do#if he magically just does still have a bank account and birth certificate and social security number ill be pissed#cuz why would his face be erased from a class photo but not a passport picture. how#ive thought abt this way too much they better not let any magic spell plot holes get thru cuz i WILL catch them#im watching u guys dont pmo i need to know the exact limitations and extent of that spell. i see a plot hole im gonna be mad#altho he was getting ged. what kind of documents do u need for that. did he forge them or did they survive#im just really focused on the bureaucratic details here those writers better know im gonna be paying ATTENTION#and for sure everyone else cares abt that as much as i do. u guys will tank at the box office if its not ironclad im tellin u#x
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readwritealldayallnight · 16 days ago
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You had never seen him look so utterly human before
Laid up amongst the scratchy, thin sheets of the hospital bed, with only a plain surgical mask covering the bottom half of his face, everything else above Ghost’s shoulders exposed to your eyes for the first time, while his own eyes have been shut for nearly four days straight now
You had never seen your Lieutenant without the signature mask that haunts the dreams of even the deadliest foreign mercenaries, had never seen him look anything less than intimidating, commanding, powerful without so much as even trying to, his presence alone striking fear into those who’ve heard whispers of the fearsome Ghost
Now however, with an IV hooked up to his arm and a nurse that comes to check on his vitals periodically, it’s hard to picture him as such a gruesome soldier, rather than a simple man who bleeds like any other human
In spite of the evident vulnerable position he finds himself in, his pale skin appearing nearly translucent under the harsh fluorescent lights of the hospital, there was no denying that Ghost remained someone to be feared
A particularly nasty blow to the head during a field op gone wrong had knocked the burly soldier out cold, and though doctors were optimistic he would make a full recovery, they couldn’t exactly tell the extent of the damage done until he woke up
You and the men that made up the remainder of the 141 had been taking turns remaining by his side, not wanting for Ghost to wake up alone, whenever that would be exactly
You wonder how he would feel about this, the fact that you are currently the one on shift for the unofficial rotation of visitors who’ve stuck by his bedside throughout his injury
You’re well aware of the fact that the Lieutenant doesn’t like you, has never liked you, and probably never will, though you’ve never been able to get a straight answer as to why
From the moment you’d met him, he’d been cold to you, distant, making no effort to get to know you nor welcome you to the team, opposite to the way the Sergeants and Captain had welcomed you with open arms and hearts
No matter how much you poked and prodded at them for an answer, some sort of inclination as to what you could possible have done wrong to have Ghost dislike you so much, the men always bit their tongues
You saw the way they exchanged knowing glances and sly smirks, believing they were being more cunning than they really were, insisting to you with carefully chosen words that it wasn’t something you should worry about too much, that the LT had a different way of expressing his feelings than most
“So long as he doesn’t wake up and want to ‘express his feelings’ by punching me in the face for being the first thing he opens his eyes to.” You thought to yourself, glancing up from your book at his still sleeping form, shaking your head at your silly thought
No, he’d never been particularly kind to you, but he’d also never gone out of his way to be cruel to you either you supposed
Perhaps he found you to be more of a nuisance than anything else, a pest he couldn’t seem to swat away hard enough, an annoying pimple he couldn’t quite pop
Your eyes scanned over his face once more, cursing whatever Gods might be listening that the man hiding beneath that Ghost facade had to be so … intriguing
You could see old scars running across his face, some of them peeking out from under the surgical mask while others ran across his brow, his crooked nose evident even under the fabric of the mask
He was handsome in his own, rugged way, a fact you were displeased to learn when you first saw him laying here, switching off with Soap who’d been sat at his side earlier
Ghost may not care for you, not that he had given you many reasons or chances to care for him, but you cared about your remaining members of the task force, and knew how important Ghost was to them, and so for the 141, you’d do your duty and care for a Ghost who apparently wanted no such love and tenderness from you
You looked the large man over, brows furrowing when your eyes landed on his neck, noting that the pillow supporting his head was getting a little flat
You stood from your chair, setting your book down, and approched him carefully, almost as though any sudden movements would somehow wake the comatose man from his slumber
As gently as you could, you attempted to adjust the pillow behind him to hopefully be more comfortable, quickly realizing just how heavy he was when he was nothing more than dead weight
You slowly slipped your hands behind his shoulders, pulling him forward as best as you could until you were able to adjust the pillow one handed
Slipping your hands back down his shoulders to ease him back into the bed, your palms naturally ending up sliding onto the back of his neck, the tips of your fingers brushing against the hair at the base of his skull, an involuntary shiver running through you at what you realized too late was a bit of an intimate touch with a man who’d been touch starved for years
It was hard to say who was more stunned at first, with how quickly things transpired, when you suddenly felt a pair of strong hands reaching up to grip your wrists and hold them in place
You hadn’t even realized you had let out a gasp as your eyes flicked down and met none other than Ghost’s own wide open orbs only inches away from you, staring right at you as though he was seeing a ghost
Stunned into silence, worried that you truly were about to end up on the receiving end of Ghost’s anger for having invaded his space like that, you barely had enough time to process that he’d somehow woken from his coma when his grip on your wrists tightened further, and somehow, whether it was a trick of the light or you imagination, his gaze softened before his scratchy, out of use voice said:
“Love.”
Your ears were ringing, hardly taking notice of the way a flurry of alarms and bells had gone off as soon as Ghost had woken up, his heart rate soaring through the roof and alerting staff
Medical personnel rushed into the room before you could wrap your mind around any of what was happening, Ghost’s grip on your never loosening until the doctor finally approached you both, sensing the tension in the air
“Lieutenant Riley,” the man said, gently landing a hand in Ghost’s bicep to hopefully help him ease his strong grip on you. “Let her go.”
His grip on you disappeared instantly, as though your skin had suddenly burned him, but his eyes never wavered from your own, even as he began mumbling unintelligibly beneath his medical mask
“What was that?” The doctor asked, trying to bring calm back to the room and ease Ghost into a state where he could be properly examined
“My girl.” The Lieutenant’s gravelly voice echoed throughout the sterile room
“Pardon?”
“My girl.” Ghost repeated, never once breaking eye contact with your now widened eyes
“Do- do you know who this is, Lieutenant?” The doctor posed the question, slowly gesturing towards you with a confusion that was spreading amongst you all
“‘Course I do.” Ghost spoke with certainty. “That’s my love.”
Part two
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xenteaart · 1 month ago
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the hard way
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pairing: vampire!chris x to be vampire!reader genre/warnings: dark romance, mean chris, angst? kinda dead dove, mentions of death, blood and a lil gore (not too graphic tho imo), it's okay in the end??? and they're in love plot: reader is getting turned into a vampire and it's not as cool as she imagined author’s note: obvsly heavily inspired by railway and that SPITTING SCENE. idk it's prolly gonna flop but i wanted to picture that process and a not so hot side of it
“no.” “why not?!” “because i told you so a million times already. we’re not discussing this.” chris spits out and furrows, growing more agitated with each passing second.
“what, you don’t want me to be equal to you?” you ponder desperately while your mind searches for any, any reason at all as to why chris won’t turn you. it’s been getting to you for the last couple of months, and you’re sure you’ve gone through every possible explanation your troubled brain could come up with: he doesn’t love you. he doesn’t wanna spend eternity with you. or maybe it’s a power thing. or, or, or...? this endless cycle of worry and uncertainty has been keeping you on edge for way too long to think clearly now. “gosh, it has nothing to do with equality,” he rolls his eyes and shakes his head. “what is it then?” “drop it.” you snap. “we’ll have to find out the hard way, then.”
you grab the nearest kitchen knife, and it turns out to be the one you use for cutting meat, a chef’s knife as they call it. how fitting. chris barely has enough time to catch up with your madness infused impulse, and when he turns his gaze back to you, the knife is already deep in your guts.
you thought it was gonna be romantic or somewhat dramatic at least. something from the movies where he sinks his vampire teeth into your neck, and just like magic — your eyes flash bright red, announcing the beginning of a new life.
“you dumb bitch,” he exhales shakily and somehow manages to catch you in time because the sharp pain in your stomach makes you lose your balance instantly. you’re still bitter and angry in the heat of the argument and you expect him to be the same way, but when you glance up, chris looks nothing but panicked. “that’s a new look on him,” you think, and it confuses you.
chris growls and sinks to his knees, carefully holding you and trying to move as fast as possible. what you don’t know is that turning can only be done in around thirty seconds since fatal injury. that might explain the rushing and chris’s pure bambi eyes panic but your consciousness is already starting to drift away to hold onto that train of thought.
chris bites into his wrist with unmasked fury, tearing and ripping his own veins even though using a knife would have been much cleaner. probably less painful, too. “swallow. now! come on, don’t you fall asleep on me now, focus!” he grabs your face and presses hard on the jaw joints, making you open your mouth like a puppet doll.
the sickly metallic taste of your own blood at the back of your throat from the internal bleeding mixes up with chris’s thick blood that he generously spits into your mouth, and you want to throw up. your head feels dizzy as your eyelids are getting heavier, your hearing suddenly fails completely as if someone turned the volume down from ten to zero. limbs are falling weak, and the pins and needles in them are so, so far from pleasant.
the thing about turning is... you actually have to die first. be fully, completely gone to be able to come back changed and corrupted, turned to the extent of your DNA having been violently rewritten. that you did not think through enough. the muscles in your throat contract almost on reflex, swallowing and gagging on the gooey salty substance, making your chest heave while coughing strangles you further. the tingles and nausea are so overwhelming and all consuming you actually catch yourself thinking dying would be a relief now. and then it follows as you wished.
you doze off for god knows how long but, by the looks of it, it can’t have been more than a few minutes because as you regain consciousness, chris is still looming over you, his own blood fresh on his lips. he’s blurry, though, everything is.
“come on, suck on me. c’mon, baby, there we go,” he coos as he brings his wrist to your lips, forcefully pressing it into your mouth and leaving you with little to no choice. the phrasing, unlike usual, doesn’t sound dirty or hot now, more like a life-saving command while you’re still so out it. it feels good, though, chris’s blood.
it doesn’t taste so metallic and gross anymore, and the texture feels almost soothing on your dry throat, like hot honey milk on a friday evening. suck, gulp, suck, gulp, suck, it almost lulls you back into serenity, some primal instinct of being attached to your only life line, finding comfort in someone’s warmth and touch and taste.
you wonder how much you’ve drunk already and whether chris will have anything left but you’re so, so thirsty you can’t even bring yourself to care.
what finally makes you stop is the sudden sharp ache in your gums. it feels so piercing the aftershocks are almost reaching your brain and eye sockets, and as you feel your old teeth fall out, a pair of longer fangs cuts through and settles into the upper teeth row. hot tears are stinging your eyes and you whine like a wounded deer, still unable to speak properly. it’s all too much, and you start to regret what you’ve done, and maybe, just maybe that’s why chris so passionately refused to put you through it. this kind of hunger and the animalistic, blood thirst driven rage were never something he wanted to inflict upon you.
your entire body is shaking but it’s not really a fearful tremor, more like restlessness, a new sort of “itch” somewhere deep, deep inside that you’ve never experienced before, the feeling so intense and soul wrenching you simply can’t disobey it. it makes you want to jump up and run.
“don’t worry, i’ll teach you how to handle it.” chris cups your face after taking off his leather gloves so you can feel the comfort of his actual skin. the touch is calming, but barely enough compared to that growing desire and need to satisfy the itch. “you stupid crazy cunt, why do you never listen,” he whispers into your forehead, his lips lightly brushing over your cold sweat covered skin, as he holds you closer, squeezing you against his chest in a protective manner, though the real danger to yourself is now planted within you.
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sh1-n0bu · 3 months ago
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i have noticed a small pattern of elves being on my latest fictional character obsessions and HEAR ME OUT!!
elf who has lived for hundreds upon thousands of years, who had experienced many of the things the world has to offer. sadness of bidding hundreds of farewells to the beauty of life and alliance of different races
elf who even after all his years of living still yet to find a love for himself. regal and seemingly detached to the concepts of relationships elves may be, even they get lonely. some nights feeling a little bit too long, a little bit too cold as they add another layer of blanket over themselves or reaching over to hug one of his puffy pillows like how he would hug his future lover. the coldness of being immortal seeping into his bones and making him shiver despite elves being above the concept of getting sick or feeling the cold temperatures
elf who runs into you by some chance meeting. maybe you were walking in the territory of elves without knowing it, maybe he purposely goes to human residences and towns, seeking adventure, excitement and change of pace. who immediately is enamored by you just by your smile that you flash his way, a kind one, a gentle one, to a nearby passenger. who falls in love with the callouses of your hand, the freckles, the small scars, the little bits of imperfection that marked you as clearly human, very much mortal, very much brittle but still with your own strength that he hasn’t felt before
elf bf who starts to court you the moment he realizes that you weren’t seeing anyone, bringing small gifts, exchanging knowledge, singing you soft ancient lullabies that no other mortal has ever heard before. maybe he finds himself writing a poem about you one day, describing your looks, your feelings, your everyday actions that you may see as mundane but ones he sees as just as courageous and beautiful in their own ways
elf bf who has never seen human flesh or bare skin before, finding the rippling biceps and toned legs of yours to be… curious. a tentative finger touching the muscles here and there, stopping you mid work as he inquires about them in a soft tone. elves of course were magical beings, blessed with magic and eternity and had no need to develop visible physical muscles till the point they become buff or beefy to some extent all due to their magic and ancient powers. the tips of his pointy ear twitching softly, eyes wide in wonder as you explain that contrary to his kin, your own develop muscles if they are put to work in physically demanding job for enough time
elf bf who over time, finds himself obsessively scribbling down any sort of new information about human anatomy on a journal, always asking you new things as he finds himself able to learn more despite having been alive for hundreds upon thousands of years. tracing the old faded scars on your body with the tip of his finger, counting the freckles, kissing the stretch marks as they were all you. regardless of how you see it, to him it was all you, together and healthy. you were alive even if you may have battle scars and he always makes sure to thank the stars as it was thanks to the tribulations you have conquered that you two were here now. staring eye to eye, touching your foreheads together as you whisper about mundane things
elf bf who one day sees you cut down a tree, cut a log off or prepare firewood and finds that he was imagining the bulge of your muscles against himself. big arms caging him in a bear hug, legs to support him and strong back that he could sink his nails into as he moans under you— hold. since when has his thoughts of you turned… impure? since when has he become turned on? sitting there on one of the logs with a painful strain against his pants as he swallowed the saliva that gathered in his jaw down, tearing his gaze away. no no, he really shouldn’t think of you as such, you were still in courting phase after all and elves were a race that took their romances and courting extremely important
yet regardless of his kin’s customs and traditions, your pretty elf bf couldn’t help but continue to stare. his gaze constantly seeking your figure out, seeing you just go through the motions of every life peacefully while he gets pathetically turned on by your actions as if he was still but a fledgling who learned of a kiss. chopping down trees for firewood, maybe you would work in front of a fire or heat for too long and get sweaty, removing one of the overtunics. maybe you’re just simply dragging a bucket full of water from the well, cranking the pulley as the muscles on your arms and back strained
elf bf who finds himself extremely aroused as his mind wanders to the gutters as he just shamelessly stares at your working form. oh, to feel those calloused hands touch his colder skin, palms smoothening over his creamy skin, and down his chest, his stomach and over his bulge. maybe you would tease the poor thing, tease him of how quick he is to get aroused, the pre of his half-hard cock weeping through his underwear and pants like he was some sore pathetic loser. a little virgin. bully him about being unable to use his cock, make him whine at your mean words as his hips weakly buckle under your exploratory hands
elf bf who couldn’t help but imagine the usual sweetness of your attitude gone, replaced by one that was just a tad bit meaner as you pushes his face down into the pillows of your bed, force his hands to stretch open his puckering hole for you to fuck senselessly. imagining you whispering all sorts of filth into his twitching ears, promising to breed him full, to use him to your heart’s content all night long as he whines and squeals like a little lamb caught in the nest of a hungry wolf. who couldn’t swallow down the quiet whimper coming from his throat as he imagined your hand grasping at his long locks, fisting it tightly as you yank him back, forcing him to arch his back and push the tip of your cock to bruise his guts even more
elf bf who waves off your worry when you had managed to hear the embarrassing noise that slipped past his lips, saying that he was having a bit of a sore throat. gods, he would love to actually whimper from having a sore throat of getting his mouth plowed all day by your fat cock head forcing his jaws wiiideee open
elf bf who couldn’t help but get a little needy in his kisses since then. hands that touched your muscles with curiosity now running over your skin as if trying to feebly seduce you. dropping things to the ground a bit too many times, following you close behind even as you told him that some of the work you needed to do required space and for him to be away for his own safety. who straddles your lap all snug, pushing his chest flush against your own as your simply daily evening kisses after dinner becomes a bit too heated. he definitely had little to no experience with the way his tongue kept licking at your lips meagerly, long fingers curling over your shoulders tightly while his bucking hips on your lap as he starts to get hard again
elf bf who has finally had enough of just his meager imaginations, tugging on the strings of your white tunic with shaky hands as he rambles about touching you, you touching him, feeling him, using him — anything dammit! use those hands of yours on him!
elf bf who soon realizes that he had perhaps bitten off more than he could chew when your hands grip at his hips, dragging his clothed cock against your thigh that had him whining like a cat in heat. meagerly, he tries to replicate what you just made him do, dragging his hips back and forth on your thigh but he all but just looks like an inexperienced bunny. which he probably was judging by the things he spoke to you about himself
elf bf who finds so much pleasure in simply grinding against your thigh for now, the precum of his now hard cock weeping through his pants, staining it into a darker color. all cute and red in the face that spread to his pointy ears, cute high pitched whines falling from his chewed up pink lips. a cute, surprised “a-aahn♡︎??” echoing in the room as you pull his eager body against your own. your chest to his back, hands loosely draped over the hip bone of his
elf bf who lets out the most embarrassing high pitched squeals when your hands travel up his body under his clothes, traveling more and more until teasing at his nipples. rolling your fingertips against the soft areola, squeezing and fondling his pecks as if they were breasts. who jolts in place when you pinch at the hardened buds, tugging at them to test the waters as he arches his back off of your chest, a filthy mewl falling as if he was being fucked stupid already
elf bf who blubbers out uncharacteristic words of “s-shensiitiivgh♡︎ n-no, don’t pinch the-eeengk♡︎♡︎!“ his pleads of your rough hands not torturing his sensitive nipples being replaced with an open mouthed wail when you place a kiss to the pointy tip of his ear. his ears were so sensitive! you knew that and now you were just being downright mean to him as you whisper filth into his ears of acting like a cooped up virgin for merely getting his chest played with. he wasn’t! he was way older than you! slurring out “how c-could you be sooh m-meanngk…♡︎?” as you lick a slow stripe up the pointy helix
elf bf who bucks his hips on your thigh, trying to bounce, trying to move away but ending up whining as his clothed cock grazes against your hardened muscles again. his cute nipples being tortured and groped by your hands, the delicate helix of his ears being assaulted by your wet kisses and licks. any time your hot breath spoke into his ears of how he was such a precious little thing, just like a bunny in heat, he would try to wiggle away. shaking his head with a weak sniffle, his mind churning into a mush as all he could do was to pathetically fuck his cock into your thigh, letting out a soft mewl everytime you buck your leg up to meet his shy excuse of thrusts, jumping in place
elf bf whose minds and body starts to feel weird. the room feeling stifling and your touch making his own skin heat up too much. who tries to tell you that he was feeling ‘odd’ and concerned, yet only to harshly thrust his hips back into your own arousal. eyes widening, a shudder running down his spine at the feeling. still clothed and hidden like his own but good grief, it just felt… so huge since he was sure your human dick couldn’t possibly be much bigger than his own. but no, it got him gulping down the saliva in his mouth
elf bf who bounces himself experimentally onto your own hardened, covered dick, feeling his balls brush against where he guesses is the tip of your strap. his earlier cute whines growing in volume as your torture of his sensitive spots grow worse, groping, squeezing, calling him too eager to get fucked, making him dumb and airheaded. the constant tugs to his chest, the words you spat into his mind so lovingly and the small actions of your hips thrusting up to meet his own weaker excuse of grinding
elf bf who’s voice grow more and more breathier, who finally loses it as he throws himself back against your chest, his head on your shoulder as he let out a wail of “h-hoowt!! t-too ahgg♡︎ haah anhg t-too hoounwt...♥︎!” as he cums into his pants, dirtying the material as a single glob or two of his sweet transparent arousal oozes out through the linen. the dark patch growing into a considerable size, his body racked with twitches and jolts as he cums untouched on your lap. precious little thing getting drunk on the feeling of sex and physical pleasure so much till the point he disregards all of his traditions, bending himself over onto the bed, his hand reaching back to tug you forward by the belt with a desperate whine and a cute blown wide pupils and twitching ears♡︎
⇨ meludir, lindir, legolas, maglor, mairon + whoever you like
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ceilidho · 1 month ago
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fear of god
There's someone outside the spacecraft. You don't remember them being part of the crew. Part 7 masterlist
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And now that the permafrost has thawed, the carcasses buried below have started to warm and the anthrax spores in their ribs have begun to twitch. 
To say that you are on edge would be an understatement. Your muscles ache from being tensed for so long in the supine position, but you remain that way until the day cycle returns and the ship hums back to life, the thought of sleep unfathomable. Synapses firing in your brain keep you from sleeping soundly. Or at all, for that matter. By morning, you’re exhausted, eyes burning from lack of sleep and head pounding something fierce. 
Old questions are compounded by new ones. Ones such as, is what you’re experiencing real? Can you trust what’s in front of your eyes? Are your senses lying to you? How can you be sure of anything happening to you right now? What can you use as a yardstick to measure reality? 
The most worrying question being: did you make a mistake? 
You review the evidence again, starting from the top. A man suspended in the middle of space with no other spaceship for millions of miles nearby. You didn’t imagine that. Unless your mind has deteriorated to such an extent that you now reside entirely within a made up universe where a stranger—seen and acknowledged by your colleagues—boarded and took residence on your ship, which is a thought too horrified to contemplate for very long, then you have to believe that nothing you experienced over the last several days was just in your head. 
Which means that over the period of a week, a man hovered in space right outside the still moving ship, somehow following its flight trajectory, and no one other than you noticed his presence. Conspicuously absent from all perimeter scans and observational points. Disappearing from sight, in fact, when another crew member tried looking for him. 
Everything points to him being a figment of your imagination, but what does it say now that the people around you are able to see him as well? And what does it say that they seem completely unconcerned with having found him at all?
Your stomach rumbles and you climb out of bed. 
You creep tentatively down the hall towards the mess, sensitive in a whole new way to your surroundings. The corridor remains empty and quiet save for your trembling breaths. A deep, thrumming hum follows you through the ship. 
Nikolai’s already there when you enter the mess, and you catch him in a good mood, which is like saying you caught Rickettsia where typhus was found present. Which is to say, unsurprising. 
“Morning, doctor,” he booms from across the mess. “Sleep well?”
You hum instead of giving a straight answer. “You?”
“Best sleep in months. We should rescue people more often. Makes life more interesting, yeah?”
Again you hum instead of responding verbally. 
It makes life more interesting or it makes life a tragic crawl to oblivion. This doesn’t feel like some Greek tragedy, but then again the people in it are never privy to their genre. You don’t have the luxury of knowing what’ll happen next until it happens, until the moment is already beyond you and you’re forced to stare back in horror at all the goosestepping you did to reach this point. 
You shake your head to dispel those thoughts. 
Breakfast is another mundane affair. Some days you miss buttered toast so bad that you teeter on the edge of bursting into tears. A deep yearning for the familiar, for home. It sneaks up on you when you least and most expect it, waiting for you to let your guard down. 
Your whole body tenses up when the mess door slides open with a gentle hiss and you hear Gaz’s voice. Again, a wave of nostalgia washes over you, an ache felt deep in your pelvic bone like staring out of a fogged up window and watching the world pass you by. 
Real coffee in real cafes; sitting at the back of the bus on a cold day, tucked into an oversized scarf and drifting off, head bouncing with every little bump; the crunchy-cream spoonful of a crème brûlée; running your fingers over glaucous leaves in the garden behind your late professor’s house, the waxy coating rubbing off onto the pads of your fingers; and then a man’s rich, deep laughter again—
Your fingers slip under the table to pinch your outer thigh and the spell breaks, the pain grounding you. 
“Morning, little castaway,” Nikolai booms, leaning back in his chair and raising a hand in greeting. “Finally rested after your journey?”
“Can’t complain,” Gaz says while making himself a coffee with the instant crystals. 
When the coffee is finally ready, Gaz wanders casually over to the table, stopping when he reaches your side. You put off looking up at him until the tension in the room reaches critical mass. 
Then you finally look up in acknowledgement and find him smiling placidly down at you. He looks rested, no sign of stress or bags under his eyes or so much as a hair out of place. You’d never suspect that he just spent the last several days stranded in the middle of space. 
“Good morning, doctor,” he greets.
What is it about the cadence of his voice that scratches the ear just so? There’s something to it, a layering behind his words that you can’t make out. 
“Morning,” you reply, voice cracking after the first syllable. You cough and clear your throat. 
He joins the two of you at the communal table, pulling out a chair to sit right next to you, humming and nodding when Nikolai lets him know where to find the ration packets for breakfast. He doesn’t make a move to go grab something to eat. 
“Not a breakfast person?” Nikolai asks.
A smile. “I need to work up more of an appetite.”
His words fill you with such cold dread that you can’t even look over at him. Frozen in place, spoon buried in your bowl of oatmeal in front of you. Then embarrassment washes over you when you play his words back in your head and realize how normal they sound. 
“What’s on the docket for today?” you ask to change the subject.
“Same shit as always,” Nikolai sighs, resting both elbows on the table and sinking his head into his palms. He dips his head forward enough to run his hands through his hair before straightening up again. “Farah has some ideas for how to approach the situation, but…I have my doubts. Not worth boring you all with details. Either problem will be resolved or not. Same shit, different day.”
“I’m sorry, but is something on the ship broken? Is there a problem?” Gaz’s concern seems so genuine that for a second you allow yourself to get swept up in the illusion that he has no idea what’s wrong with the ship. 
“Autonomous navigation is broken,” Nikolai explains, rolling his eyes, frustration oozing from his pores. “It was on the fritz when we passed Mars, but now it’s dead. Kaputt. Thought at first that maybe it was inertial measurement unit that was malfunctioning, but fixing that changed nothing. Then we thought: maybe something is wrong with star tracker, but code looks good, so can’t be that. Lots of time wasted and still nothing is working; it’s a very troubling problem.” 
“Do you mind if I take a look at it?” Gaz asks. “I was the technical engineer on my previous ship. It might help to have someone come at it with fresh eyes.”
Nikolai studies him, the moment of scrutiny breaking his usual jocularity. Then he shrugs. “Why not? But if you break anything, I will personally toss you out of the airlock.” 
Gaz smiles wide. “Sounds fair. ”
‘Technical engineer’ indeed. You scoff in your head, unsure of your own scepticism but committed to it because everything about the situation just feels all too convenient. 
Much bites when it feels threatened; you know this and you have to choose not to act on it.
Oatmeal mostly done, you scoot your chair back and get up, eager to head to your station. 
“See you guys in an hour for morning briefing,” you say to the two of them, tossing your bowl haphazardly into the dishwasher. 
“Mind if I walk with you?” Gaz asks, also rising to his feet. 
Your heart jumps. “Why?” 
Something in your tone must give you away because even Nikolai glances up, furry brows pulling together concernedly. Careful now. You give yourself away when you speak without thinking first. 
Gaz smiles with all his teeth. “It’s on my way. The commander wanted me to pass by after breakfast.”
Too much time passes for you to cover up your faux pas with an excuse. Better just to swallow your pride instead. 
“Sure.”
You’re so stiff on the walk to the medical unit that your low back aches, the nerves likely inflamed. An old injury flaring up from stress. You’ll have to remember to roll out your yoga mat and stretch later, some cat and cow to loosen up your back.
“It’s bigger than I thought,” Gaz observes casually. “From outside, you don’t get the same perspective, but even for an old ship, there’s quite a bit to it.”
Hearing him speak so frankly about watching the ship from the outside sends a chill down your spine.
What’s the use in telling you this? You can only speculate. Though his tone remains unambiguously light, eyes scanning the paneled interior walls and the incandescent light strips overhead running parallel to the floor, there’s a veiled weight there. Something almost taunting. 
“Is it?” you whisper, compelled to answer for reasons beyond you. “Is that…is that something you thought about a lot?”
“No,” he answers, quite simply. “I knew I’d get to see for myself eventually.”
Sometimes, in the privacy of your mind, you think about how some of the Earth's oldest trees are kept secret from the rest of civilization. You crave that kind of furtiveness now, wish you could burrow that far deep and remain hidden. 
You wish you weren’t plagued by the knowledge that a static body in space couldn’t possibly keep up with a spacecraft in constant motion for several days on end. You want to go back to not knowing anything at all.
But before you are precious hours of solitude, so you hold your tongue until you reach the midway point in the ship where the corridors split and your paths diverge. 
Just as you’re about to part, Gaz stops and looks down at you. “By the way, doctor, you haven’t evaluated me yet. When should I come by?”
“Evaluate?”
He cocks an eyebrow. “Make sure I’m not sick or infected with anything. Isn’t that part of your job?”
It’s said in earnest but it feels like a barb. A sharp thorn in your side pricking you again, telling you that you’re not pulling your weight. That you’re taking up space and not contributing to the mission.
“Maybe, um…” You clear your throat. “Whenever you have time. Tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow,” Gaz repeats, eyelids narrowing with his smile until just the darks of his eyes are visible, the cornea all but gone. “Sounds like a plan.”
Again, you can feel it calling you to him. Whatever it is. Thoughts laggardly filling your head, sticky like sap or syrup. His face is nice to gaze on, they say, nicer still to touch. Your hands itch to reach up and cup his cheeks though a louder voice in your head reminds you of how improper that would be. 
You take a step back and the urge falls away like rain.
And then he’s gone, continuing down the corridor towards the front of the ship without another word. 
You wonder if there’s something wrong with you for not insisting on examining Gaz in the medbay as soon as possible. Even if you were to take him at face value and ignore all the other red flags warning you away from him, you’d be remiss not to check his vitals and bloodwork. 
Tomorrow you will. You’ll be braver tomorrow. 
The second the door slides open and you take a step forward, you can tell that someone was in the medbay earlier. Your nose twitches, like a smell you know but can’t name. Right on the tip of your tongue; hungering for the word that eludes you for so long that you wonder whether it even exists or if your brain has tricked you into remembering something you’ve never encountered before. Presque vu; the wallflower step-sister of epiphany. 
You take another step into the room and start when the door slides shut behind you automatically. When you look around the room, nothing looks taken or moved. Even your microscope is still out on the table from the day before. 
A deep inhale just leaves you more frustrated. The only smell in the room is that of formaldehyde and antiseptic, but still the feeling impresses itself upon you, despite the lack of evidence. Someone was here. You’re sure of it. It’s an uncanny feeling, like knowing that someone’s eyes are on you. 
You’ve heard of conditions causing one to detect smells that aren’t really present—phantosmia, sometimes caused by nasal polyps or strokes, but neither of those fit your circumstances. Nothing your mind conjures up as a probable cause fits right. 
Pinching your nose works to an extent, but it’s not a sustainable solution; you can’t go hours on end with one hand clamped over your face. It cuts the strange effect the scent has on your mind though, concrete evidence that what you’ve been experiencing is in large part an olfactory phenomenon. 
In the en-suite bathroom, you riffle through the medicine cabinet one-handed, wincing when you knock over a bottle of cough medicine and send it tumbling to the floor. You rummage around until you find what you’re looking for in a little blue container still nestled under the cinching straps lining the back of the medicine cabinet. 
Unscrew and uncap to a waxy, off-white jelly. You slather a thick layer of petroleum jelly under your nose, so thick that a glob lodges in your left nostril and you nearly sneeze it out. It does the trick though. Mutes the scent somehow; turns the dial all the way back down to zero so you can breathe with ease again. Think clearly again. 
You step back into the main room. When you look back around the medical unit, again you notice that not a single thing looks out of place. If someone had been here before you, there would be signs—things misplaced or forgotten out on one of the tables or on the exam bed in the middle of the room. This is the only room on the ship entirely under your supervision and dominion; you know where each piece of equipment is stored and how every inch of the room should look after you’ve put everything away. 
But the room looks fine. Untouched. 
Your better judgment tells you to just let it go. 
Touching your palms to your pants, you find them drenched in sweat. The body knows when there's something amiss. 
You observe and take note.
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roosterforme · 4 months ago
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Yours Truly, Bradley Bradshaw Part 26 | Rooster x Reader
Summary: Bradley has a plan of action, but he needs to make sure you're a little distracted before he can proceed.
Warnings: fluff, adult language, smut, 18+
Length: 3400 words
Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female teacher!Reader
Check out my masterlist for more! Yours Truly, Bradley Bradshaw masterlist
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"Today was exhausting," you whispered, pulling your legs up so you were sitting on Bradley's lap on the couch. His flight suit was a little scratchy, and you were still wearing your dress, but you yawned and nuzzled against his chest in surrender. "Please don't make me move yet."
You could feel and hear his laughter as one big hand came up to squeeze your shoulder before gliding down your side to your waist. "Make you move? I want to keep you with me forever, Gorgeous."
Did he know the extent to which his words excited you every time he said forever? You tried to play it cool, wrapping your arm around his waist, but as soon as his lips met your forehead in a gentle kiss, you whispered, "Forever sounds really good."
His posture stiffened a little bit as his fingers flexed on your waist. You could feel him fighting the urge to jump to his feet with you in his lap.
"What's wrong?" you asked, stifling another yawn.
"Nothing," he replied quickly, but you could tell he was antsy. "Just getting hungry."
"Of course you are," you murmured, letting your hand rest on his flat belly. He only took a quick lunch break earlier during Career Day before pulling off the flyover surprise that had your whole school buzzing with excitement. "I don't think you ate enough today. Let's remedy that."
"No," he insisted, pulling you back down when you tried to stand. "I can wait a bit longer. We were just getting comfortable."
"Mmm," you hummed. "Did you notice Marty and Ms. Masters earlier? I think there might be something there."
"I did notice," he whispered. "There has to be something there. He was looking at her the way I look at you."
With a smile on your lips, you felt yourself succumbing to the warmth of his body and his deep voice and his big hands.
Soon your eyes were closed, and you were drifting to sleep.
---------------------------
Bradley's growling stomach was the least of his concerns as you dozed in his arms and drooled on his Golden Warriors patch. You were clearly exhausted from how busy and emotional this week was. He'd only just returned from a mission where you and he hadn't spoken for weeks, and then you hosted Career Day at work. Hell, he was still tired, and he'd taken the week off from work.
He thought he had himself under control. He thought he would be able to bring you home and let you have a relaxing Friday night. After all, he was in no hurry. But as soon as you told him forever sounded really good, he felt his muscles coil with anticipation. His body told him to get up and prove to you that forever was what he needed. All he had to do was walk into the bathroom and get the engagement ring.
You seemed to be able to feel the energy he was trying to reel in even as you started to fall asleep. Tonight was not the night. Truly all he wanted to do was hold you until tomorrow morning and let you rest, but his foot was bouncing gently. There was always the chance you'd say no or that you weren't ready to be engaged yet, and he couldn't stop thinking about it. But previous conversations indicated otherwise, and he knew he was ready for everything.
His head tipped back against the couch in frustration. He should have told Nat that he wanted to propose sooner rather than later, but she didn't even know he actually had his mother's ring. His best friend would have riled him up more before helping him calm down.
After kissing your forehead a few times to test how asleep you were, he unzipped the side pocket of his flight suit and carefully removed his phone. You shifted a bit, and your nose twitched in the most adorable way, but you dozed on while he texted Nat to see if she could help him out tomorrow. She already told him numerous times that she liked hanging out with you.
"Bradley," you mumbled, arching your back and stretching as soon as he set his phone down on the couch. "You need dinner," you told him with a soft kiss before standing and reaching for him. He took your left hand in his right one, hoping this might be the last night that you weren't wearing the ring that would signify to everyone else that you'd be his wife someday.
"I came up with a plan while you napped," he said softly. "Dinner and then a shower together and then we'll get in bed early. You look so tired after nailing Career Day, Gorgeous. You need a little break."
His stomach growled obnoxiously. "And you need to eat," you told him with a laugh. "Come on. I'll make you something."
"Nope," he replied, gripping you tight as he stood up with you in his arms. "I'm going to take care of it."
You held on as you guided your legs around his waist. Your lips on his scarred cheek took him all the way back to the early days of those flirtatious emails. "Okay, handsome," you whispered, kissing him softly. "I'm not going to argue with you tonight. It's our first weekend with you back home, and I've been missing all of this. I'm finally off tomorrow, and we can relax all day."
When Bradley set you down on the kitchen counter with a kiss to your perfect lips, he heard your phone vibrating on the coffee table and tried not to grin as he asked, "Want me to grab that for you?"
"Please," you replied, looking beyond cute perched between the stove and the wilted bouquet in the makeshift Miller High Life vase. When he backtracked and picked up your phone, Bradley saw that the text notification was from Nat, and he knew he was going to have to take her out for another steak dinner soon as a thank you.
"Oh," you said when you tapped your screen. "Natasha texted me."
"Really?" he asked, feigning surprise as he took inventory of what the refrigerator had to offer. It was honestly a little scary how much he'd eaten since Monday.
"Yeah," you murmured, eyes skimming the message. "She thanked me for inviting her to Career Day. And," you added, giving him a cautious look, "she wants to know if I want to hang out with her tomorrow afternoon. We still have money left on the winery gift card."
"You should go," he urged, pulling everything out to make pancakes for dinner. "I love that my girl gets along with my best friend."
You were chewing your lip nervously. "Yeah?" you asked, thumbs poised like you were ready to type back. "Even though I literally just told you I can't wait to relax with you tomorrow?"
Bradley chuckled, knowing he was leading you in the direction he wanted you to go. But of course you'd be in good hands. "Gorgeous, we can still sleep in late. And as soon as you get home, I'm hoping you'll feel so in love, you'll want to cuddle with me for the rest of the night."
"I always feel so in love with you, Bradley."
He abandoned the eggs and butter as he whispered, "Say my name again?"
"Bradley."
It was another hour before the pancakes were ready.
-----------------------------------
"I thought we were going to sleep in," you whispered, lips brushing Bradley's as his hands explored your naked body. It was around the time you usually woke up for work, and you were still tired. But his words had you pushing him onto his back.
"I missed you so much, I'm still making up for lost time."
His hands were big and rough as you took them in yours and pinned them above his head. His body was beautiful in the early light, all muscular angles and ruddy cheeks. You kissed his biceps and then his stubbled cheek and then his lips. He was already hard, you could feel him. Bradley was strong and sexy, and he was yours.
"I'm not going to lie... I love how much you missed me," you told him before kissing your way along the side of his nose. "Because that's how much I missed you, too."
Bradley's kisses were sweet, yet they lingered. Your hips moved slowly against his body, setting the pace exactly how you wanted it. Your reaction to him was always effortless. His wide pupils let you know it was the same for him. 
"Baby," he whined as you tightened your hold on his wrists. He was rubbing himself up against you, looking for the friction you needed as well. Slick with arousal, your pussy welcomed the tip of him, and you rolled your hips slowly, taking him inch by inch until you were full. "Oh, fuck, Gorgeous," he rasped, lips parted as he looked up at you with those pretty brown eyes. "You feel so good."
You went slowly, and your hands eventually found their way to his shoulders. Bradley coaxed you closer until you were kissing him as you worked your hips in a steady rhythm that you knew would give you both what you wanted. You thought about every cold morning you woke up here without him while a bead of sweat rolled down along your spine. You got lost in the way he smelled and how his hair felt between your fingers. He was yours.
"I love you," he groaned. "Oh, I love you so much."
You came on his cock as your movements turned jerky, and he filled you with cum as you whimpered his name. Then you eased your body down so you were laying on top of him. "This is how I want to spend the rest of my life," Bradley whispered. "Loving you and fucking you and cuddling."
With a soft laugh, you relaxed enough to fall asleep again while he ran his fingers along your back.
The next time you woke up, it was three hours later, and Bradley wasn't in bed. He wasn't even at home. After you pulled on his sweatshirt, you found a note on top of the sandwich he made for your lunch in the refrigerator. 
Out for a quick run with Nat, and then I'm stopping at Home Depot for Edith. I love you.
You enjoyed your sandwich quietly in the kitchen while taking inventory of the grocery situation. Bradley already ate everything which made you smile. It would take a few weeks, but you'd make sure he bulked up again. Maybe you could get him to go shopping with you tomorrow morning.
When you sat down on the couch with your phone, you were pleasantly reminded of how sore you still were from the past few days with Bradley back from deployment. The gentle ache brought with it the memory of how much better your orgasms were with him than alone. You really needed to start getting dressed since you were sure Nat was going to want to head to the winery after they finished their run, but you stayed sprawled out on the couch until Bradley walked back inside.
"Hey, Gorgeous," he rasped, still a little sweaty in his gym clothes and carrying a bag from the hardware store. "You got enough rest?"
"I did," you giggled as he tossed the bag onto the coffee table and straddled your waist. "Do you think we should buy a bigger couch at some point?"
"Nah. This one's more fun," he replied as your fingers threaded through his damp hair. "Means I can get nice and close." 
Would this needy feeling for him ever go away? You hoped not. But just as soon as he really kissed you nice and hard, he was pulling away. Bradley smacked you lightly on your rear end where he spanked you the other night.
"You better get ready to go with Nat. And I need to fix Edith's mailbox and get my free piano lesson."
"And then when I get home, we're cuddling and watching a movie right here," you told him firmly, patting the couch cushion.
"As long as you still want to."
You rolled your eyes. Of course that's what you were going to want to do. Maybe you and he could even enjoy some more wine after you had wine with his friend. You were smiling as you thought about the plethora of wine you might be enjoying today as you got dressed in some jeans and an oversized sweater. You skipped makeup, because it was Saturday, and when Natasha arrived, you walked outside with Bradley.
"I love you. Call if you need me," he crooned, kissing you and waving before turning toward Edith's house.
You must have been watching the sexy way he walked for a little too long, because Natasha honked her horn and yelled out the window, "I want some wine!"
"Sorry!" you told her, laughing as you climbed in the passenger seat.
She was pulling away from the curb when she replied, "It's nice to see you so happy again. You seemed to have a good time at Career Day, and now you're all smiles for your boyfriend."
"I missed him so much," you said, watching Bradley get smaller in the side view mirror as she drove. "I felt instantly better when he got home from Norfolk."
"You're going to freak out later," she mumbled, making a left turn.
"What?" You weren't sure you'd heard her correctly.
"Nothing. You ready for some wine?"
"Absolutely. We can finish off the gift card," you told her. "And I found another winery for us to try next time that serves frozen wine slushies."
"That sounds like heaven. Thank god you fell in love with Bradley so we can have girls' days."
That put a permanent smile on your face. Just knowing that Natasha thought you and he were a good match really meant a lot. She'd known him for a long time.
"How was your run earlier?" you asked, settling in for the ride.
"Running in February is always better than running in July or August," she replied easily. "I might have to start bringing headphones again though, because the man will not shut up about you the whole time."
You covered your face with your hands while she laughed. "Sorry."
"Don't be sorry. It was so bad at times before he met you, I used to have to put my earbuds in and pretend I was listening to him complain about his exes. It was always the same thing. Nat, I don't know how to break up with her, but she's kind of mean to me. Nat, I can't keep taking her to the bar, because she flirts with everyone else. Nat, why is she being so selfish? Nat, I feel like she's just using me. Nat. Nat. Nat. Nat. Nat." Her voice softened as she said, "It's not like that with you at all. Now he just wants to know if I think his date ideas sound stupid or romantic. And if I think he's crazy for already having you move in."
"What did you tell him?" you asked immediately.
She grinned as she switched lanes. "Trust me when I say I've given him some solid date ideas. And I told him he would have been miserable if he waited any longer to ask you to live with him. That man is so solidly in love with you, it is disgusting."
"The feeling is mutual," you whispered as your cheeks burned.
"I know. Now let's enjoy some wine while we talk shit about him. I've been way too nice today up to this point."
------------------------------------
When Natasha dropped you off after four hours of wine and conversation, your cheeks hurt from smiling so much. You were already looking forward to hanging out with her again soon.
"Want me to tell Bradley you'll run with him tomorrow morning?" you asked, leaning back in the passenger side door as you stood next to her car.
"Nope," she replied, shaking her head. "There's no way he's going to want to get up and run in the morning. Tell him I'll see him at work."
"Okay," you replied, confused by her thought process. Bradley usually liked getting his cardio workouts in with a partner rather than alone. You'd follow up with him about it in a minute. "Thanks for driving. Wine slushies next time?"
"Wine slushies next time. Enjoy your night," she said with a wink.
You waved as she drove off, the sky getting dark and the air cooling down even further around you. Edith's mailbox next door looked perfect once more, so Bradley must have finished that project. You shivered as you hustled up to your front door ready to get inside and into the warmth of his arms.
The living room was a little darker than usual when you walked in, and then you realized it was because the only light was coming from your candles which had been placed around the room. You were about to call out for Bradley and ask him why he was burning every single candle you brought with you when you moved in, but then you froze.
"Oh my god," you gasped, taking one stumbling step further into the room to get a closer look. The flickering light illuminated dozens and dozens of paper airplanes all folded up and taped to the dark blue wall above the couch. They were arranged beautifully, and you swallowed hard when you realized they spelled out a message.
MARRY ME?
It was just two words, but they took up the whole wall. Your fingers were shaking as you brought them up to your lips, and then you heard Bradley's voice.
"Hey, Gorgeous," came that familiar rasp. You turned to face him as he stood there in one of his tropical print shirts and his worn out jeans with a nervous smile on his face.
"Bradley?" You glanced at the wall and then back at his face. You weren't even sure if your words were intelligible as you muttered, "Paper planes?"
His smile widened. "It's all the letters you and your class sent to me. You know... when you were looking for a Naval aviator to write back and answer a few questions? I guess a few questions turned into a lot more than that. And a simple correspondence with a gorgeous fourth grade teacher soon made me realize that you're the woman of my dreams. My pen pals changed my whole life." He nodded toward the wall. "Your students helped me fold them up yesterday."
"They did?" you managed as he took a step closer until he was right in front of you, and then and sank down onto one knee. 
"They did." He was all vulnerable brown eyes and sincerity as he looked up at you and said, "I love you. And I have something for you, Gorgeous." He swallowed hard. "It was my mom's." He held up his right hand, fingers curled in a loose fist. You watched as he carefully unfurled them, revealing a ring resting on his palm. "I want you to have it. Unless you don't like it. It's from 1984, and it's definitely vintage, so I won't be upset if you tell me you'd rather have something more modern." He was rambling, but you could barely breathe from the butterflies which were fluttering hard against your ribcage. "Maverick was holding onto her engagement ring for safekeeping. I had no idea until he heard me talking about how desperately I want to marry you."
"Bradley," you gasped, trying to hold back your tears as you sucked in shallow breaths. "Are you serious?"
You'd known him for less than a year, but you never felt this comfortable or safe around another person before. You never felt so loved. When he raised his hand a little higher like he was ready to hand you the ring along with his heart, he said, "I'm serious. You told me forever sounds good to you. It sounds good to me, too. I think we should do it. Will you marry me?"
There was really only one acceptable answer when you knew he belonged with you. When you were certain your future and his matched up perfectly. When there was no chance you could love anyone else like you loved him.
"Yes."
-----------------------------
Yes. Yes. Yesss! Thanks kiddos, for making it extra special. I don't think any of them will be surprised to find their teacher sporting some new jewelry at school. Bradley plus Gorgeous equals forever.
PART 27
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writingescapades · 1 month ago
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Speculations on Rafayel’s bond. Just me rambling while working on drafts.
Rafayel mentions that when Lemurians truly love someone all their senses are able to perceive them unquestioned. This makes me wonder how it works, but also to what extent does he feel.
With the latest events and the increase in intimacy the game depicts, I know there are a lot of theories that Rafayel perceived that MC wanted him and was responding to her. That's very possible, but I can't help but ponder more about this bond.
See if 2 Lemurians were bonded, they both would perceive each other, and the emphasis on the word unquestioned implies like almost this inability to resist - which we do see when MC orders Rafayel through their bond. He always questions as a way to resist her, or she explains when she is or is not ordering him, but why would such a bond need to exist between 2 Lemurians? And could not such a bond be taken advantage of by Lemurians as well as humans?
Also, I wonder how Rafayel feels knowing this his partner can never be bonded to him, thus can never feel what he's feeling. Does it bother him or is it a relief? I think that's partly why he keeps asking her that if he became someone / something else, would she still want to be with him? And maybe that also explains why he's more open with wanting her attention - because she can't perceive him like he can. But it probably also hurts him too because somethings are too hard to explain through words, but to not have someone who can feel what you're feeling is a very human reality. We can't experience someone's emotions, and I think it's something that frustrates Rafayel but also eases his worries because that man has secrets galore.
Another thought I had was that, so far, we've only really seen this bond showing up when MC / Rafayel were in intimate situations - like in the ebb and flow story and this recent one. So does it only show up for specific emotions? Or when MC calls out to Rafayel - like how we see in the story where she is drowning and calls out to him (technically this happens twice). If it only appears when MC truly wants him / calls out to him, than that makes the recent intimate event really interesting because it shows how important consent is to Rafayel. Despite knowing emotionally what MC wanted, he still asked her for verbal consent. It's also interesting that he obtains her consent given his history of being enslaved and hunted by humans. The man has god worthy ethics and morals.
BUUUT, if Rafayel can sense all MC's emotions, does that mean he can also sense when MC is in pain or distress? Does that mean he's experienced every death she has? Is that why he knew she was injured in that one audio story, or was the one to wake her from her dream about being a seawitch?
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tiredandoptimistic · 1 month ago
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What I think works so well about Clary and Isabelle's friendship is that they're very similar people, but they present themselves just differently enough to appear alien to each other. Both of them were the only girls in a group of boys (Isabelle was raised more or less isolated with Alec and Jace, while Clary doesn't seem to have any friends other than Simon and to a lesser extent his band), and they responded to this in very different ways. Isabelle basically committed herself to her role of "the girl" and always performs extreme femininity, while Clary attempts to sink into the background as "one of the guys." Both of these behaviors can be seen as rebellions against their culture. Isabelle comes from the very misogynist world of Shadowhunters, where women are respected as warriors but expected to act in a masculine way in order to earn that respect. She rejects this, and proves her place as a brilliant fighter while maintaining her fun and glossy feminine traits (compare her with Jessamine Lovelace, who was seen as silly and frivolous for her feminine interests). Clary on the other hand is a child of the nineties growing up in NYC. As a teenage girl in the early 2000s, she would have been surrounded by "not like other girls" philosophy, and hyperfemininity would be both pushed on her and demonized in popular culture. Because of all the pressure placed on gender roles and her lack of connection with other girls her age, it's no surprise that Clary would develop a certain bitterness towards people who perform gender in a way she won't.
With all of that out of the way, we get two teenage girls who have no fucking clue how to handle each other. They're both jealous of how the other one fits in with the guys in a way they can't. Obviously any friend group is made up of friendships which fit together in unique ways, but Clary and Isabelle both see themselves as The Girl, and thus are worried that the other one will make them redundant (Clary gets along with Jace, so will he still need Isabelle? Isabelle and Simon are getting along, will this take away Clary's place as Simon's most important person?) Of course this isn't something that will actually ruin their friendships, but Clary and Isabelle don't know that. Instead they need to learn how to engage with each other, and I enjoy that TMI actually shows them having those conversations. They're trying, but it doesn't all happen at once. Clary still has bitter thoughts about Isabelle's femininity, and she also looks down on other girls like Maia.
Speaking of Maia, there's a really good moment in COA where Clary starts grumbling to herself about how unfair it is that a werewolf can be pretty, and that Maia should be gross and hairy. She then catches herself, and literally thinks "this is exactly why I don't have any female friends," showing that thanks to Isabelle she's learning to recognize her internalized misogyny. She can hang out with other pretty girls, and it doesn't decrease her value as a person.
It's just so nice seeing a character whose internalized misogyny is actively acknowledged by the narrative and treated as a flaw she must overcome. So many female protagonists in the early 2000s (and other decades) had the hyper-femme "best friend" who they hated, but even though that's how Clary sees Izzy at first, she's able to look past it and see the ways they click together. The two of them don't become besties immediately, but they're at least able to get past that first layer of hostility.
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simpingland · 11 months ago
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Heyy beauty!
Can i request a Harwin break my back Strong x wife Targaryen reader fic where he beats the shit out of someone who disrespects her. He gets out of it with no consequences, reader looks after him & it ends in smut💋
(I'd appreciate it if u could do more Harwin fics cause lord knows I'm thirsty for it😭)
How to fix an aching nose.// Ser Harwin Strong x Targ!Wife!Reader. Smut.
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Summary: Harwin cant believe his luck, married to a targaryan princess, being completely in love with her, her being madly in love with him...Not many believe his luck neither. Only his wife can prove him that its all real.
Warnings: p in v, fingering, oral sex (m receiving), a Lannister being punch.
Harwin was more than anxious to have you, his dearest wife, alone for more than the few moments you were allowed, to what extent could he reminisce about your wedding night? His mind was elsewhere during the hunt, listening only to his father's instructions, and ignoring the lords. Ever since he married you, he had felt the looks they gave him, full of envy of course. Few dared little more than stare, the stupidest could dare to vocalise it. And Lord Tyland Lannister was one of those fools.
"I see you are distracted, Ser Harwin," said the Lord with a mocking laugh as he watched the stag slip away from him at close range. "Marriage...always has the same effect on men."
He chuckled, a few laughed with him, but most gave him a dirty look, and Harwin set his spear aside.
"What effect do you mean, Ser Tyland?" he asked dryly.
"Well, the effect of women. They are a constant headache."
"I don't think you should speak so of wives when you haven't managed to marry a single woman since you've been at court, my lord." He wanted to leave it at that, but Tyland had taken offense.
"When one wields so much fortune, choosing a wife to entrust to him is a different task. I suppose you don't know what I'm talking about now, Ser Harwin."
Harwin walked toward him, towering over him. It clearly frightened him.
"I don't need to brag about money to show my wealth. And that I think if you are able to understand."
Tyland was silent for a second. Everyone had turned to watch the scene, except your father, the King, who was too sore to pay attention. None of them listened as your father asked for your presence to escort him to his tent without making a fuss. So Harwin turned to continue the hunt without being aware that his own wife was walking towards the scene. Neither was Lord Lannister.
"You certainly took a treasure for the little price you must have paid...you took a very possible wife from me." Tyland was whispering it to Harwin now, purposely irritating him. "Though...perhaps you did me a favor. A princess who chooses someone like you should not be driven by anything but lust and madness. Maybe your wife is a lot cheaper than we all thought."
Then Harwin exploded. With the first fist he knocked out two of Tyland's molars, and with the second he buried him in the mud. None of Ser Lyonel's orders were heard as he tore Tyland apart, only the insults towards you, raging. They tried to pull him away, but he was still there. And there you found him.
"HARWIN!" You shouted, running towards him. It took him a while to notice you, he looked at you, a little frightened that you had seen him be so savage.
"He insulted you" he said quietly, then looked at Tyland "YOU INSULTED THE PRINCESS!"
And he gave him one last kick before he was pushed away by the guards. He had to be pushed away until he was led out of the hunt, and he only looked at you, begging your forgiveness for the disturbance. Your father was disoriented, and only understood what was happening from the words of one of the guards. And you had to wait to get your father to his bed before you met Harwin.
"What happened?" you asked as you entered your tent. Harwin was waiting for you, on his back and standing. When he turned around you saw his nose was bleeding. You ran to wipe it. "Gods! Did Tyland do that to you?"
"He wishes it was him, my love...it was one of the guards."
"I suppose it's because you've hit him first, isn't it?"
He smiled, because he knew you as well as you knew him. And he watched your concern disappear with every second, seeing your smile again.
"I'm not going to let anyone walk all over me. Not me, not you," he said, kissing your neck as he hugged you, lifting you off the ground and pressing you against his chest.
"Oh, Harwin, and why do you say that?"
You wiped the blood from him as he told you the story. It was starting to bruise a little, but had stopped bleeding after he put a cold cloth on it, holding it patiently and letting it play with the ties of your dress.
"I don't want you to think I'm just a... a beast too. I hold my anger a lot more than you think. Only you make me feel at peace, wife." He ran his hand through your hair.
It certainly hadn't been easy to convince your father. The Strongs were beloved at court, but Harrenhal was not a place of good repute, and marrying the King's second daughter to a notorious brute like Harwin "Breakbones" Strong had caused much controversy. You succeeded after years of hiding in the corridors, and every night Harwin could only draw on his imagination to do more than kiss you, for he had always put your reputation and honour before his desires.
You had only been married a short time, but it had been a season since you two had spent time alone. Your elder sister Rhaenyra was keeping you by her side at night, uncomfortable with her first pregnancy, and in the mornings, Harwin was too busy catching up on his duties as heir to Harrenhal.
Still, it didn't take away a single ounce of excitement, you craved each other throughout the day, and Harwin always managed to pull you aside to talk or kiss you. Either was enough for him, but he really wanted you back in his bed.
"You don't look like a beast to me." You put your hands on his neck, sat on his lap, you could feel his bulge on your leg. "And even if you had looked like one, you forget I've never been the person who holds his reputation in the highest regard, remember?"
They smiled, Harwin remembered in fact, more than once he had had to push you out of his sight because you had guided his hand where maidens should not be touched, all before you were married. You kissed him first, and when he was training you watched him from your window, catching his eye and "accidentally" showing your breasts. In the dark of night he had to pick you up off the floor because you had knelt before him. And in between all those moments Harwin couldn't help but be captivated by you, begging the King for your hand.
"I remember everything. You are far more beastly than I, my wife..." His member began to grow as he remembered, your scent right there, he captured your lips.
"You have offended me," you faltered, pulling away from the kiss. "Show me who the beast is here, Ser Breakbones."
One swift movement and he unfastened the bodice of your dress, freeing your breasts, and brought one to his lips. And as it sank to your chest you giggled at his eagerness, enjoying the tingle that formed on your legs as you felt Harwin's saliva run over your tits.
"Do you find this amusing, my princess? Having me sit here?" He ran his hands under your skirt, stroking your pearl as if by accident, but you knew he wasn't, that he was doing it to ravish you.
"I do find it a bit funny, I'm afraid..."
He stilled your laughter by throwing you onto the bed they had set up for you. Remarkably smaller than the one in your room back in the Keep, but Harwin didn't plan to use it much. He removed what was left of your dress, leaving you now completely naked. Your body being a spectacle for him.
"Well I'm no clown, of the many tricks they know how to do, I doubt very much they know how to do this."
He rested one hand on the bed, circling you on top of you, and the other he used to turn you, your back, your ass facing the outside. He caressed your back, stroke both cheeck of your ass and finally touching your cunt. One finger entered first, stirring your discharge with your clitoris and eliciting a soft moan from you. He watched you watching him, mouth half open. He was so handsome, with his smooth coat but rugged features, Harwin was all man. He inserted a second finger, and the third was not long in coming. Then he began to shake his hand rapidly, lifting your entire pelvis to his rhythm. You couldn't help but cry out as you felt such continuous pleasure.
"No..." whispered Harwin, pulling his face closer to yours, "no one knows how to do this to you like I do..."
Pleasure engulfed you, and Harwin could see you come to orgasm, you moaned millimetres from his lips, which he felt as if it was feeding him. He let you rest, and before he could lick his fingers with your arousal, you took his hand to lick them for him. If he was already excited before, Harwin had to hold back a moan when he felt the friction of his own pants squeezing his erection.
"Now let me reward you, my Lord, for defending my honour..." you removed his shirt, and kissed his big abs. But you made him suffer as you reached for his trousers, unbuttoning them bit by bit, not until you had removed them completely did you focus on his member.
Fat and in proportion to your husband, his cock needed two hands to massage it well. First you gave him a little kiss on the tip, as if in greeting, and looked up at Harwin, who seemed impatient but loved your gaze as you knelt before him. You were beautiful from every angle, and your eyes sharpened from that perspective. He pushed your silver hair aside as an excuse to touch it, and he never pushed your head, you always managed to make him enjoy at your own pace. You licked the tip for a while, but before he could cum, you took as much of his cock into your mouth as you could, knowing which way to guide it so you wouldn't gag. You sucked slowly but intensely, using your cheeks to make your mouth tighter. You were just about to make him cum when Harwin decided to take the reins again.
He caught you by surprise when he pulled away from you to pick you up off the floor, placing you in his arms as he did when he rescued you from troubles you usually got yourself into. One arm around your back and the other around your legs, your hands resting on his shoulders and with the opportunity to kiss him right there. Indeed, you didn't need the bed very much. You didn't quite understand what Harwin was up to, but when you felt the tip of his cock at your entrance, your hair stood on end. He was moving slowly up and down you, preparing to bury himself all the way in.
"I am convinced that there is no better pussy than yours in all of Westeros, Princess..." his voice was husky, his scent captivated you, and he kissed you tenderly when he wasn't kissing you with tongue.
"So what are you waiting for to enjoy it?"
He lured you to his lips to distract you, but you finally felt him enter. Gently, but creating that special fraction you'd longed for for years before you were married. Harwin broke the kiss to moan, of course this was his favourite part of fucking. He didn't usually do it fast, he liked to pace himself, and for such a big, rough man, he liked to sink into your pussy delicately, whether it was his instinct to protect you, or his instinct to enjoy it. His hips set the pace, as he raised them, his arms lowered, and you felt his full length fill you. He began to speed up the rhythm, he had plenty of strength left, and when he increased you could hear him enjoying himself, making you enjoy yourself.
"I'm going to cum...I'm going to cum..." he announced.
Then he laid you back down on the bed. You had no plans to have children yet, so you liked to experiment a little. Harwin positioned your legs apart, and took out his cock to rub it against your clit, fucking your vaginal lips and causing you unparalleled pleasure. You had your second orgasm seconds before you felt Harwin's semen spilling out of your pelvis, with a sweet moan leaving your husbands lips.
He rested his forehead on yours, and you kissed his aching nose.
"Wow...you sure made me feel better, wife." He moved to your side, pulling a blanket over you both, cuddeling you in his arms.
"Yeah...I've missed you too."
"I meant the kiss on the nose...but the rest was good too."
You laughed before threatening to make it bleed again. Harwin was willing to take a million punches as long as his princess was there to kiss his wounds afterwards.
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impyssadobsessions · 3 months ago
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Here's a comic depicting a snippet of a story Idea I have. >w<
(Link to Reference Art I made of Danny) Danny comes across Clockwork's lair, see's some visions of a past he wasn't quite sure of whose, before being dropped down a hole where CW cryptically fills him in as to why he had summon him. Thus dropping Danny into this new world with only knowing he has to save a guy name Dante- and defeat Pariah again. He falls through a roof of a thrift store- fights some skeleton demons with the racks after learning something is weird with his powers as he cannot change into phantom and his body feels weird. His clothes get ripped and tatter thus him "borrowing" clothes and walking out to see the extent of what Pariah has already done.
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Which causes him to run into a big bull demon and fights him one to one- while learning the new limitations on his powers/how they work in this world. Spoiled below more ideas that are very rough and not set in stone. That I copied and pasted from my word document- which was just hastily written down as to not forget.
Danny is summon for another favor for Clockwork- CW isnt in the tower but screens of timelines are playing around the room. Danny thinks some of them are cool- wondering when and where that is- until he see one of a woman running with a baby in her arms. Cut back to danny who falls through a hole in the ground and winds up falling into a thrift store. His form has changed and his powers don't really work how they were suppose to. Maybe instead following Pariah into the demon world- finding himself in same scenario. Maybe CW gives only cryptic word help dante. But dante supposedly still gone so meets nero instead. Nero over time realizes Danny might not be human- doesn't think ghost- but assume Danny might be Dante's son... for various reasoning. ---Maybe CW is split in two reason Danny was able to live on the other side. (because of legend of Pariah having been banished to in between because he was feared by demons- only for him to take over new world and being sealed there. Chronos was part of the reason he got banished. ) -Pariah Dark being big bad. But once Danny wins title of king the curse tries to bind him. Then Clockwork stabs him to the ground with his staff- essentially winning the title and being sealed away with Pariah. Danny is rescued by Dante, and he uses the staff to slow the closing of the portal. Everyone safe and rescued. Danny stands where the portal was and cries. Overwhelmed by information and also realizing he has no way back home.
--- Also thought of an idea for a sequel idea- where Danny is in a comatose state but it is revealed after a seemingly heartwarming scene of Dante and Danny watching the sunset peacefully as father and son. Then Nero arrives to pick up Danny. Dante reveals that they know where the guy who did this to danny is and how to get Danny back to normal. (Vergil having scouted ahead) Dante leaves to help clear out the problem leaving Nero with literal dead weight as Nero has to take Danny's lifeless body to the lair- Danny slowly regaining some motion as he gets closer to his-self. Nero at first saying Danny owes him big time- but as it goes on Nero like- hey don't pay it back all in one go- I still need at least one favor so I could spend a nice night with kyrie. (Because Danny uses his blood to help Nero fight back the ghosts- and then him phasing them through a collapsed ceiling while still in a coma like state) Very Nero centric taking care of Danny- and whose been taking the most care of Danny. So very much him just talking one sided to Danny but seriously hoping for the best. And to clock the guy who did this. Which my idea that it be actually Dan ;3 who split Danny apart.
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crescenthistory · 3 months ago
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hii 🫶🏻🫶🏻!
im not sure if you've written for james potter before, but if you're up for it, could i request d5 with him? i thought like, reader is a slytherin and she fooled around with barty while she was with james. also not sure if you're okay with writing cheating, (feel free to ignore this is you're not!)
hi lovie! thank you for your request<3 i don't vibe with cheating storylines, but this inspired me to write a one-shot of james pining for reader but thinking she's with barty because they're such close friends. i hope that still scratches your itch!
Prompt: D.5 "But do you love me?" changed into "But you are in love with me?"
Words: 3.7k
Warnings: not proofread, fem!reader, slytherin!reader (sassy/feisty), use of y/n, james pov which includes relentless pining and silly comments, genuine yearning, miscommunication, bsf!barty, slight jealousy/envy, some self-deprecation, background skittles rosekiller and dorlene
The Boy with the Glasses is Blind
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James could have kicked himself.
Despite what some professors insinuate, he is usually quite bright – he just so happens to prefer dedicating his intellect to good-willed humour and pranksting rather than gruelling essays that have already been written a thousand times before. He felt he had properly demonstrated his abilities for creativity and strategy with everything he had pulled off over the years, both the pranks he took credit for and the ones they were never able to pin on him.
Yet, here he was.
Sitting in the Transfiguration class shared by most Gryffindors and Slytherins in their year, where Professor McGonnagal in some horrific – in James' previous sentiments – attempt to bridge some gaps and mend some fences, seated a Slytherin and a Gryffindor together at every table. Sitting beside you, the one Slytherin he had never seemed to fully dislike nor target with his more insidious of pranks, but a Slytherin nonetheless, and attached at the hip with one Barty Crouch Junior.
Yes, here he was, sitting beside you and staring at you with what most look like cartoonish heart eyes.
It was not something he necessarily expected to happen, at least not to this extent. You had always held his interest, a fascinating person from who you were to how you spoke and where you placed yourself in society, but it was easily brushed off in the flurry of everything else that surrounded the young boy. In here, he couldn't escape you as easily, and once he realised just what he had been depriving himself of in his avoidance of you, he couldn't escape you even when you weren't around. To him, you were everywhere.
James Fleamont Potter was falling more head over heels in love with a Slytherin with every passing minute. Sirius would have kicked him blue and yellow had he dared open his mouth and voice what was running through his mind when he admired you. Though, James supposed, some of those thoughts were perhaps best never uttered out loud to anyone.
He really couldn't help himself, he thought, it was all your fault for being so sodding angelically flawless. From the first lesson when you playfully threatened him to "behave, Potter, and not soil my education with your unruliness" with that glimmer in your eyes that felt like it must have been reserved for him from a previous life, he has had to pick his jaw up from the floor whenever your eyes meet. The way you carried yourself with a lightheartedness and crackling self-assurance, the way your hair cascaded around you as you turned to him, the way your occasionally crude words towards him were softened by your exuberant tone, as if you took as much pleasure from your back-and-forth exchanges as he did, but with none of the guffawing – a stronger man would have faltered, and James had no qualms about admitting that for you, he was rather weak.
And then there was the way you grinned with your whole body whenever you spoke to your friends and your–
And therein lies the issue.
No gem can sparkle that brightly and not be picked up and admired. To anyone with eyes, let alone ears, it was painfully clear that one Barty Crouch Junior had already snatched up his Treasure, as he called you. James was too late.
The nickname felt tacky in James' mouth as he silently felt around it, trying to figure out what it would feel like to have you as he does. It felt too cheesy, not elegant enough for someone like you, not perfect enough, though James supposes nothing quite could be. Nor was he any better himself, angels and loves had already slipped from his tongue, only to be laughed away as a quip and not a confession – and he didn't even have the right to, not the way Junior did.
You were seated beside James, he could imagine himself feeling your body heat seeping through your clothes and into his if he inched even a centimetre or two closer to you. He could hear your laughter in his ears, he captured the smile in your eyes with his own as often as he could, but even here, within his direct vicinity, he saw the effect Barty had on you. How the two of you seemed to be able to communicate with limited words, mostly through glances and silly facial expressions from where he sat a few rows ahead, fully twisted in his chair to get a good look at you.
James couldn't blame him. It was how he wanted to turn around and stare at you whenever you were near him as well. That maniacal grin on Junior's lips was something James wanted to resent, but also wondered if he would be wearing himself, if he was allowed to brandish it on you.
Unlike Junior, though, he couldn't. James is not a jealous man, he felt he owed his father not to be, but there were few words to describe the sensation building in his throat other than envy. And, perhaps most painfully, a yearning so significant it ached its way through his bones until he was left pliable and broken.
"You with me, Potter?"
James' smile smacked right back onto his lips, albeit slightly more forced than normal as he forced his eyes away – from what he hoped seemed like Junior's general direction and not him specifically – to lock onto yours. There was a quizzical expression on your face and mirth playing over your lips, your soft, beautiful lips.
"Yeah," James made out hoarsely, clearing his throat. "Early mornin' s'all."
The mirth stretched out into a wide, teasing grin on your face, and although James was certain it was at his expense, it melted his own smile into a more genuine one. "Uh-huh. What's made you so tired? You're usually caffeine incarnated first thing in the morning."
"Are you saying you're missing my usual self, love?" Easy, easy, keep it easy.
"I'm saying you're suspicious," you replied with a gleam in your eyes. "Although, you always are. Perhaps it would be suspicious if you weren't behaving suspiciously."
James laughed a bit too loudly at that, warmth spreading in his stomach. "Don't go philosophical on me, L/N."
"I won't, if you don't go boring on me. Transfiguration's enough of a chore as it is."
Pride bloomed out of the spot envy inhabited in James' throat. Somehow he felt just as guilty for both of them, and was just as unable to suppress it as it flowed into his bloodstream.
"Well, when I know you're missin' me so, I can't very well let my best girl down, can I?"
"What a presumptuous young man," you say, words becoming a whisper as McGonnagal walks in to begin her lecture. Despite your smug smile as you said so, James couldn't help but feel slightly rattled at you pointing out the truth to him.
He righted himself in his seat and attempted to dedicate his attention to the Head of Gryffindor, which, unfortunately, he had never been good at even before his entire mind, body and soul seemed to be possessed by the stunner sitting beside him in class. His eyes kept darting over to you, smiling at your facial expressions, even more so when you occasionally caught his gaze with a smile of your own. A strand of hair fell out of your hairstyle as you cocked your head to look at him. James couldn't decide whether he wanted it to stay messy or if he wanted to be the one to tuck it back in for you. His hands remained drumming on the desk.
He attempted to focus up on the lecture, but poor Minnie's voice simply became droning to him when his nose was filled with the smell of you, making him slightly lightheaded. And Merlin, the way you were biting your lip while you took notes – it was an actual miracle he hadn’t melted into a puddle on the classroom floor by now.
Then, his attention was abruptly captured by a small piece of parchment whirring right past his face to force itself into your hand on the desk. You were shaking, smiling over the lip you were still biting as you opened it.
James – in a totally cool non-creepy fashion, of course – tried to get a good luck at the note, but couldn't without giving it away. What he definitely could tell, though, was how Junior was snickering at you over his shoulder like a hyena. Not the borderline scary snicker James had been victim of before, but a fond one, like you were sharing a secret together just the two of you.
Unable to watch more of your reaction, James looked back onto the desk, willing himself away.
You were never one to allow him reprieve, giving him a discreet poke with your wand. When he looked up, your head was in your hand and you were leaning your head sideways to look at him. “Daydreaming again, Potter?” you whispered.
His cheeks burned. “Not a chance,” he responded a bit too quickly, causing you to smile in delight as you leaned closer to him. His heart gave a particularly hard thud at that.
“Are you sure? Because you’ve been staring at my notes for a few minutes, and last I checked, you don’t even take notes. So it's clearly no ruse to copy me.”
“I take notes!" James tried to retort, but when you levelled him with a stare he just smiled indulgently at you instead. "Occasionally."
"Yeah, you're a total swot, babe," you laughed quietly, shooting McGonnagal a quick glance to make sure you're still being discreet.
He knows you're messing with him, he knows it's just colloquialism, but he would have paid embarrassing amounts for you to call him that again.
"Very well might be, you're quite contagious, angel." The slight snort that escaped you at that probably made his day.
“Uh-huh,” you said softly, for the second time that lesson. “Whatever you say, Gryffindor.”
By the grace of Godric, McGonagall dismissed class before James combusted like he thought he would. He exhaled in relief, but it was short-lived as his nerves shot up as you began to pack your stuff, knowing he won't see you again until dinner. Not that he had memorised your schedule, or anything.
He opened his mouth, hoping to think of something clever and smooth to keep your attention for even a second longer, when your usual company approached your shared desk. He heard Junior's laugh before he saw him, eyes still trained on you, and when he turned Barty, Dorcas and Evan had formed some circle around you, chattering away with a casualness he rarely witnessed up close.
“Tomorrow’s going to be incredible,” Dorcas exclaimed almost-giddily, pulling her scarf up around her neck. “I can't wait to let off some steam finally."
“Oh, I'm sure you will, Cas,” you replied teasingly, pointing a finger at her teasingly. "Asked a certain blonde to join you yet?"
"How about you mind your business, Missy?" She shot back trying to shove your face away, but you dodged, using James' arm as a shield. He felt like a mannequin the way he stood beside you, almost dumbly, frozen by the exchange.
Evan just snickered. “Good luck prying Barty away from the game section, he's still pissy about last time."
"You mean when he gambled away all–" Dorcas was shut up with a quick silencio from Barty, which she quickly fought through and stuck her tongue out at him for.
"Hearsay and goss, I tell you!" Barty declared, shoving Evan aside to come stand beside you, arm circling around your waist. "I almost didn't go this year, I'm only joining because Treasure here practically threatened me to."
"Yeah, how dare you even consider leaving me to the wolves," you retorted to him at the same time as Dorcas murmurs something about "yeah, didn't wanna go because you lost so bad".
"Nah, we can't have that," Barty agreed with you while shooting Dorcas a glare, and then he – to James' utter pain and heartbreak – pressed a kiss to the top of your head while squeezing your hip.
Nevermind that it was a quick kiss, nevermind that you laughed at him. James just saw lips against skin.
Now that Junior was basically cuddling you standing up (James wanted no corrections calling this description an exaggeration), James had gravitated further away from you. He may have lost his mind with this whole lovesickness, but he respected you, your choices and your space. With the way you were throwing your head back laughing with your friends about some plans James didn't even know about, he knew he was not wanted nor needed here.
Pulling his bag closer towards his body, he gave a quick nod to no one in particular and turned around, headed towards the door.
"James, wait up!"
Your voice cut through his mind's ramblings, as it always does, and your use of his first name brought flowers to his vision once more. He turned around, hoping to look mostly casual but he's sure his face was an open book. His eyes zeroed in on you walking towards him, leaving your group of friends and Junior behind, but he heard a telltale laughter and he hoped it wasn't at how stupidly in love he looked with someone he could never have.
James blinked at you in confusion as you stopped before him, but you just wore the simplest smile on your face.
“Want to take a walk with me?” you asked, like it was the most natural thing in the world.
"What?" he asked dumbly.
There was mirth in your gaze when you repeated your question. "We both have a free period now, I usually spend it in our common room. But I'm asking if you want to take a walk with me instead?"
James had to physically restrain himself from replying "I know" when you disclosed your habit, while also wondering how and why you came to know his schedule.
He managed to sputter out a response. “Yeah, yes, of course.” He couldn’t quite stop the grin from spreading across his face, and he felt a bit like an overeager puppy, but you didn’t seem to mind. In fact, you looked rather pleased, which only made his heart race faster.
"Enthusiasm gets you everywhere, Potter," you responded calmly, falling into step with him as you led him out of the classroom, leading him down the less-frequented hallways. The road less travelled by.
The two of you strolled down the corridor, side by side, with the chilly autumn breeze filtering through an open window. James wanted to say something witty, something that would make you laugh, but he was mostly in his head, confused about everything that transpired the past few minutes.
"What's that about the fair?" He decided that was safe territory, though he feared having you recount all your plans with Junior there.
"Oh, you have no idea," you started excitedly. James pretended it didn’t cut a bit that he had no idea. "It's this annual fair that Pandora – you know, Rosier – discovered back in fourth. It's got the weirdest, coolest booths and games you'll ever see, with performances from unique professionals. It usually changes every year, last time it was a fire manipulator and a necromancer."
Upon James' quirked brow at you finding fire and necromancy the coolest, you continued. "Come on, you Marauders would have loved it. There's prank ideas and props to last you for months. And there's great food as well."
"Okay, okay," James laughed as he maintained eye contact with you. "I believe you, sounds fun. I hope you guys enjoy it."
If James wasn't as bright as he was, he might have mistook the flash of emotion across your face as a small bout of uncertainty or insecurity.
"Actually, that's something I wanted to ask you about," you started, trailing off as you stopped by one of the larger windows in the hallway, leaning against the windowsill. He followed your example, attention wholly on you. "We have this tradition, my friends and I, that we use the fair as an opportunity to challenge ourselves in some way, do something that... I guess something that scares us."
James just nodded, keeping his attention on you as his heart beats in his chest. Your smile turned a bit rueful.
"That's actually what I was messing with Cas about earlier," you continued. "She's finally asking your friend Marlene out on a date, to go with her to the fair."
That's what you wanted to talk about? James admired you almost more for how dedicated you were to your friends.
"I can tell you without a doubt that Marls would say yes," he reassured you with a smile. "Those two have been a work in progress for ages."
"For so long, it's been physically painful to witness," you laughed. That sound is anything but painful to witness.
James hummed in response, laughter rumbling through his chest as he continued to take you in, scanning your face.
"What are you doing that scares you?" he asked before he could stop himself.
You took a deep breath, chin up in that almost defiant way as you held his gaze. "I'm actually following in Dorcas' footsteps... or I guess perhaps beating her to it, seeing as she hasn't yet."
James blinked at you, clueless as to what you're leading up to.
"I wondered if you wanted to go with me to the fair?"
He felt as if he had been slapped in the face and like he was coming up for air after a long snog. He didn't really know what he felt, just that it was a lot, too much, even for him.
"I'd love to," he blurted out with a breath, words scrambling together. Then, his brows furrowed in confusion as he tried to understand your sentence. "I mean– with me, are you sure? Aren't you going with, erm, with Junior?"
You gave him a puzzled look, cocking your head at him as if he had said something entirely irrelevant. "What do you mean?"
James looked sheepish and couldn’t quite meet your gaze over the sound of his own heart breaking. "I mean, it would be really nice to go with you to the fair, anywhere really, but wouldn't Junior mind?"
"Barty–" You cut yourself off, still looking confused. "Barty's the one who's been encouraging me to ask you out, actually. What are you on about?"
"Why?" was all James could breathe out, world unravelling in a way that made his stomach twist with painful hope.
"Um, because I like you? And unless I have suddenly lost all my interpretation skills, I am quite certain you've been fond of me for quite some time too, Potter."
"I am, but– wait– you are? What?" James guffawed. His intense confusion irritated his skin apparently because he had a sudden urge to scratch the back of his neck, his upper arms and pretty much any other piece of flesh. Maybe the embarrassment could be peeled off that way.
Despite it all, you laughed heartily and, what James was beginning to realise, bemusedly maybe even adoringly at his failure to speak. It seemed like you had pieced together everything he couldn't.
"Yeah, I like you, you sod. Think I just flirt with everyone?"
An "I hope not" lies on the tip of his tongue, but instead he shook his head in admonishment.
"Snake's got your tongue, babe?" you asked him, taking a taunting step closer.
"Looks like it," James mumbled, eyes zeroed in on your face as heat rose to his own. Growing bolder in your declaration, he continued, "I suppose I'm just confused. I always thought you were with Junior? That you two were... in love."
The last words brought a grimace to his lips, like it pained him to say. As if on instinct, your hand shot forward to wipe beneath his bottom lip to coax the frown off his face. His lips parted in shock and suspense at your touch and when you seemed to realise what you had done, you pulled your hand back quickly. You had the decency to look slightly flustered after that, allowing him some semblance of a more even playing field.
"No, James," you whispered with a smile as you shook your head. "Barty is my best friend and I love him with my whole heart. But I never have, and never will be in love with him. Him and Evan have been an item for, like, ages."
Finally, a brilliant smile – one you would later describe to him "shone like the sun" to which he attacked you with kisses because "that's so sodding cute of you to say, you sappy romantic" – took over his face.
Without thinking, he stepped closer to you, hand coming up to brush carefully against your cheek as you looked wide-eyed at his positivity and adoration now radiating off of him. "But you're in love with me?" he whispered with rapture, up to speed at last.
It took you a moment before you chuckled lightly, sheepishly looking down at your feet before once more meeting his piercing gaze.
"How about we start with that date, and see where it goes from there, huh pretty boy?"
So, yes, James most certainly could have and probably should have kicked himself – but right now, he found that he had other business he would much rather attend to.
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spencereidluver · 7 months ago
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N is for New Years
january 01, 2009
summary: You and Spencer celebrate your first new years together with the girls at Penelope's apartment, then go back to his to celebrate alone.
word count: 4.3k
warnings: smut, alcohol (a single glass of wine is shared between reader and spencer, they do not get drunk.), somewhat sub!spencer but mostly because he's inexperienced,
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“Y/N, you know I’m no good at parties,” Spencer says. He’s sat on the edge of his bed with one leg crossed over the other, both hands working to straighten his tie. 
You’re standing at the counter in Spencer’s bathroom putting your makeup on. “It’s not a party, Spence,” you giggle. 
“Actually, it is. A party is a type of social gathering of invited guests involving eating, drinking, socialization, and entertainment,” he states matter-of-factly. 
“It’s just the girls,” you’re trying to mask the hint of laughter in your voice, but it's becoming challenging.
“Yeah, speaking of which, why am I invited to the girls' night?” You couldn’t see his face, but you knew the look he wore: eyebrows furrowed, lips parted slightly, head cocked slightly to the right, his hand almost certainly brought up to his chin- his ‘confused face.’ You peek out from behind the bathroom door before exiting, a habit you picked up from work. You knew there was no danger in Spencer’s bedroom, but the months of training you’d subdued has overridden your subconscious. You catch sight of Spencer, making the exact face you’d thought he’d be.
He looks over to the door when he registers movement, meeting your eyes. He looks you up and down, mouth falling more agape. “Wow,” he says as he shifts slightly on the bed. “Y/n…” His head is scrambling to find words. “Y-you look beautiful.” 
You’re dressed in a solid black dress that ends slightly above your mid-thigh. Thin spaghetti straps draw attention to your collarbones, and though square around the neck, it’s cut low enough for the smallest amount of cleavage to peek through. A black lace waist corset droops around your waist, the strings hanging low down your back. 
“Will you tie this for me?” You ask as you turn around, revealing the untied strings. 
Spencer rushes to you, spitting out a stuttered “of course.” He stands behind you, wrapping his arms around you to pull the loose corset to its intended position. He tugs on the strings, the tension pulling the fabric into your waist. “How’s that?” He asks, holding the strings in place. 
“A little tighter,” you respond.
“A-are you sure? You need to be able to breathe.” He says, refusing to adjust the strings. 
You chuckle quietly. “It’s not tight at all, Spence.” You’re telling the truth. He had only pulled the strings tight enough for the corset to stay against your waist on its own. 
“You have bones and organs in there!” He pulls the strings ever so slightly tighter, but not enough. He slips his fingers in the side, three of them. “I’ll leave room for one finger, how's that?”
“Okay,” you smile, even though he can’t see it. You find it sweet the way he’s so worried about your health, even though the corset is a thin fabric, not leather, and you’re only wearing it for a few hours one night. 
He tightens the corset to the agreed upon extent then ties a bow at the bottom. He rests his hands on your waist, which has been cinched thinner and tighter, and tilts his head back to admire his delicate work. His fingers explore the front of the corset, feeling the intricacies of the lace as he buries his face in your hair, inhaling your scent.
You turn to the mirror on your left, seeing the finished look for the first time. You reach a hand up to Spencer’s head, still buried in the side of your neck. “It’s gorgeous,” you say as you fluff Spencer’s hair to attract his attention. “Thank you.”
Spencer’s eyes meet yours in the mirror, his hands are still on the small of your waist holding you close. “You’re so so pretty, Y/n. So pretty,” he says, unable to take his eyes away from the mirror. 
You reach your arm behind you, grabbing onto Spencer’s tie from the section of his chest that was visible in the mirror. You’re smooth in your movements, pulling him down to you as you do a 180° turn to face him. Your lips meet his, feeling the desire from his sloppy return. His mouth is open, wet, and his hands gripping tightly on your waist. He moans slightly as you pull harder on his tie, the feeling of want taking over him. 
You battle your own want for him, the feeling growing more as he groans into your mouth with every reposition of your lips. He’s like jell-o in your arms, his bony shoulders awkwardly bumping yours as he’s leaning into your kiss. Your hands grasp aggressively at the loose fabric of his dress shirt around his waist. 
Spencer’s waist was one of your favorite parts of him physically. Especially when you were making out. The way he contorts himself into the kiss, the feeling of his abdomen trembling, it all came from the waist. 
Spencer loved his waist being touched by you as well. He wasn’t sure how to express this to you, but he didn’t have to. The way the octaves of his moans shifted, and how his hips involuntarily jutted toward you as you held him let you know just fine. You feel him hard against your thigh as he presses his hips into yours, his mouth breaking away from yours as a whine moves past his lips. He tries to go back for another kiss, but you move away.
“Spence, we need to go,” you pant. 
He huffs, but nods. “Yeah, yeah, I know.” There’s a hint of sadness in his tone, you feel bad for him. That was the closest he’d ever come to initiating, and you had to deny him. He backs away from you, walking to his closet to get his converse.
“I’m sorry,” you say, worried you made him upset.
“It’s okay, we have plans,” he sits on the corner of the bed again, slipping his shoes on. 
You ruffle his hair as you lean down to plant a kiss on his forehead. He looks up at you with a wide smile; forehead kisses were one of his many weaknesses you’ve found out. 
He finishes tying his shoes, standing once he’s done. You pick up your bag off the nightstand, immediately feeling a hand grab your forearm to stop you. “I’ll take that,” Spencer says with a smile as he takes the bag from your hand. He hooks the bag over his shoulder and gives you a nod. “Ready?”
“I think so,” you say, beginning to walk toward the door. Spencer follows close behind you, shutting the light off as you exit the bedroom and enter the living room. “Actually, wait.” You turn around. Spencer gives you a look of confusion. “Don’t let me get drunk tonight.”
His eyes went soft. “Y/n, I really don’t mind taking care of you, I- I’ve seen dead bodies almost every day for the last five years, a little puke is nothing.” His voice is gentle. You knew he was referring to the Christmas party, the night you got way too drunk and threw up all over his bathroom. But that’s not what you were referring to.
“No, Spencer, I mean I think we should celebrate on our own later,” you correct.
“What? Why would we go to Garcia’s house if we’re going to have a second celebration without them?” His voice is high and crackly, he’s confused. 
You knew better than to try being mysterious with him, but at the same time, you found his rare bouts of confusion adorable. You step closer to him, closing any gaps between the two of you. You reach a hand behind his neck, pulling his head down to yours. Your lips are hovered just off of his; the closest possible distance without touching. His breath is hot and shaky against your mouth. "What I mean is,” you say before giving a quick peck to his perfectly parted lips, “I think we should,” peck, “come home,” peck, “and finish,” peck, “what we started,” peck, “earlier,” peck.
He stares at you blankly for a moment, before his face turns red. “O-oh,” is all he can spit out, an embarrassed smile taking over his crimson face. “Y-yeah, I think I can do that.” 
You smile back at him and give him a kiss on his warm rosy cheek before turning to lead the way out of his apartment for real this time. Spencer’s cheeks somehow get more red from your kiss. He reaches a hand up, touching the place your lips had moments before departed. He follows behind you from his apartment unit, all the way down to his car.
____
“Are you and Spencer gonna kiss at midnight?” Penelope asks, trying to whisper but failing as one too many tequila shots has made her lose control of her voice.
Penelope was your and Spencer’s biggest fangirl. She loved everything about the two of you being together. She’s been impatient in wanting to witness a kiss, practically begging for it to happen any chance she got. You nor Spencer ever gave in though, as, to quote your genius boyfriend, ‘the pressure to kiss takes away from all meanings, and if there’s no meaning behind the action, why share millions of cells of bacteria when you don’t have anything to gain from it?’
While his take was something you’d never really given thought to, it was still a boundary set and you respected that. Spencer was against PDA in the beginning of your relationship, but it didn’t take him all that long to open up to it, his admiration and unconditional love for you taking over the inhibition. While he was more open to holding hands, grabbing your waist, and hugging in public, he’s still yet to kiss you in the presence of others. You figure this was just another stage of him learning to love, and wanted to allow him to do so.
Subconsciously, you told yourself you would not initiate the first public kiss, as you wanted to ensure Spencer was entirely comfortable with the happenings, however when you got drunk at the Christmas Party, you almost broke your internal promise.  Luckily for you though, your drunken loss of coordination had compromised your aim and the only thing to come in contact with the sloppy kiss was his chin.
“I don’t know, we’ll see,” you answer, giving the clearly intoxicated Penelope a smile.  
“Come on, it’s just a kiss,” Emily giggles. “You gotta give us something! You were all over each other at the Christmas party, we're not stupid.” 
They were both clearly intoxicated, you would be too if you hadn’t plans for tonight. Hanging out with the girls while drunk was always fun. It was the closest you were able to come to normal friendship, the subconscious profiling out the door when the alcohol was in your systems. 
“You guys know how he is, he’s weird about that kind of stuff,” you’re trying to answer them as best you can without oversharing, knowing Spencer would kill you if you shared anything about the intimate side of your relationship.
Speaking of Spencer, he was in Penelope's kitchen pouring drinks for the three of you. It was natural for him to take over as host, as he very rarely drank at any gatherings the team had. Luckily for you, he emerges from the corner before the girls start grilling you even harder. He held three clear wine glasses in one hand, all filled ⅔ of the way with a thick red liquid. 
He approaches the three of you who were sitting in a semi-circle on the floor of the living room, such little space between your bodies that your knees were touching. He crouches down, one knee to his chest, the other a support pillar on the floor, between you and Penelope. 
“Aw, would you look at that,” Emily coos, taking a glass from his clawed hand. 
“What a ladies man,” Penelope jokes as she takes the glass Spencer has pushed across the imaginary circle toward her. 
Spencer rolls his eyes, “And for my lady,” he says and hands the final glass to you. 
You scoff at his sorry attempt of a pun. “You’re stupid,” you giggle, shooting a sweet smile in his direction to make sure he knew you were joking. You scoot away from Penelope to the open spot on the ground and signal for Spencer to sit in the vacant area. He does so, situating his lanky figure in a criss-cross position. 
“Welcome to the gir-cle!” Penelope cheers, leaning a head on Spencer’s shoulder briefly.
While Spencer was sometimes weird about physical touch from people other than you, he’s learned to tolerate such from Penelope.
Spencer’s brow furrows, unable to hide his very confused face. “The Gir-cle?” he questions as he looks around the three of you for someone to enlighten him.
You laugh along with the other girls, placing a loving hand on Spencer’s thin thigh. “It means ‘girl-circle.’ We always sit here on girls night.”
Spencer’s gaze stops at your eyeline, a smile forming on his face. “Very clever,” he says. His eyes break from yours, looking to the circle again. “Actually, puns are one of the only form jokes to land among everyone as the punchline is always the incongruity of the subject. People are expecting one thing, but the pun takes away the consistency of a term or phrase and that is inherently humorous.”
Emily and Penelope are looking at you, eyes pleading for you to shut him up. You squeeze his thigh and mumble his name under your breath, though you're sitting in such close proximity to everyone that it’s virtually impossible for them to not have heard it as well. 
“Oh, um, sorry,” he stutters, “I- I’m glad I’m welcome in the gircle.”
“Normally it’s strictly no boys allowed, but you’re special, Dr. Reid,” Emily says, taking a sip of her wine.
Spencer shoots you yet another glance riddled with confusion. This poor boy was SO confused by the world of women, it was sweet. He pressed his lips into a straight line. “How am I special?” he asked.
“Because Y/n here is a near and dear member to our gircle!” Penelope tells him. “And you’re like, basically conjoined twins, so if we want Y/n we get you too!”
“I was going to say because you bring us wine, but that works too,” Emily says.
Spencer looks at you, still confused, but he’s decided to give it up. He takes notice in your wine glass which you’ve yet to sip from. He tips his head toward it, raising his eyebrows. 
“Spencer…” you whisper, squeezing your hand resting on his thigh as you attempt to remind him of your conversation before you’d left his apartment. 
He nods. “I know, it’s okay.”
You lean close to his ear. “Just the one glass, m’kay?” you breathe into his ear. You begin to back away, but return to whisper one more thing. “And you get a few sips too.” You sit up straight, giving him a smile. He rolls his eyes and smirks, a characteristic he’d picked up from spending nearly all his waking (and sleeping) hours with you, before taking the glass from your hand and taking a reactionless sip. 
Emily and Penelope practically cheer at the sight of Spencer drinking, as they’d noted how rare the occasion was for him. 
The clock was quickly approaching midnight. 11:23. Honestly, you were surprised Penelope hadn’t turned the T.V. on to watch the-
“OH MY GOD!” Penelope’s voice rips through the room. “THE BALL!” 
She scrambles to turn on the T.V. flipping through the channels until she reaches the screen filled with a close up of Ryan Seacrest’s face. “I lost track of time, I’m so sorry guys! Don’t worry, we only missed Lionel Richie. Taylor still has her whole segment and the Jonas Brothers have just started.”
“How do you know the entire setlist for the-” Spencer starts, but is interrupted by Emily.
“Don’t even ask,” she says. 
Penelope settles on the couch directly behind you to watch the television program, holding her wine glass out with a limp wrist. “Come on, guys! There’s plenty of room on the couch,” she comments.
Emily joins her on the couch, but Spencer doesn’t budge. “I think Y/n and I will stay on the floor, we’re comfortable,” he says, but scoots back a tad to lean his back against the front panels of the sofa. You move next to him, snuggling into his side and resting your head on his shoulder.
“Suit yourself,” Penelope shrugs and turns the volume on the T.V. up.
_____
You weren’t expecting anything to happen, so when the countdown ended and the ball dropped the feeling of Spencer’s mouth passionately against yours was a complete surprise. And you definitely were not expecting his tongue to break past your lips and enter your mouth. And honestly, you would’ve bet your life savings on his body not tackling you to the ground as he pounced on you, arms darting up to hold your face still from the impact of his kiss, but if you were to have gone through with the bet, you’d be a very poor woman. 
You were too entranced in the kiss to notice the whispers and pointing fingers from the two women on the sofa behind you, but in the back of your mind- like the WAY far back- you knew they were absolutely eating this up. A wolf whistle escapes from one of the girls’ lips, which causes Spencer to snap back into reality. His face turns red as he realizes where he’s at. He sits back up on his own, clearing his throat.
“U-um sorry, Y/n,” he says sheepishly as he extends his hand out to help you up from the floor. You take his hand and sit up next to him again, leaning forward to peck his cheek to let him know it was alright. Actually, it was more than alright. In a way, you were proud of him for mustering the courage to do such an intimate and, what had been, a very private thing for him in the strains of Penelope’s living room. Seeing Spencer gain confidence within your relationship was something beautiful. It was as if he was not only becoming more bold, but becoming himself.
Spencer is uncomfortable, no, more embarrassed. He feels the eyes from the couch behind him burning into the back of his head. It doesn’t take a profiler to sense the tension he’s created for himself. While a kiss in front of friends, even one as passionate as the one you’d just shared, felt acceptable, especially on New Years, to you and the women behind you, Spencer felt as if he’d just exposed himself to his entire workplace. 
From the way he’s shifting in his seated position, unable to hold still, it is apparent to everyone he is wanting to be just about anywhere else right now. You’ll admit, watching Spencer squirm is adorable, but from the way he is desperately grasping at your hand with his, you know he’s trying to signal something to you. 
You fake a yawn. “Well, it is officially four minutes past Spencer’s bedtime,” you say, hinting to everyone, mostly him, that it’s time for you to go home. 
“Spencer’s bedtime was several hours ago, he’s like a grandfather,” Emily jokes, “Go ahead and leave though, you’re not going to miss anything besides when I puke all over Garcia’s bathroom in about four hours.”
“You’re staying?!” Penelope exclaims. She’s clearly excited that, after her countless attempts at begging her, Emily finally decided to have a sleepover at her apartment. 
“Oh, I’m staying.” Emily’s eyes close in on Penelope. “I was promised homemade french toast in the morning, how could I possibly leave?”
“Oh you just wait!” Penelope squeals. “You guys are welcome to stay too!” She motions toward you and Spencer, who has clearly gone non-verbal.
His eyes briefly meet with yours, a fearful look in them, as if he’s begging you to answer for him. You think of an excuse, and while if either of them gave it any thought they’d be able to see right through it, it’s the quickest thing to make it through your brain and past your lips. 
“Not tonight,” you say, a sorrowful tone in your voice. “Someone is very particular about his mattress.” You playfully slap a hand on Spencer’s shoulder as you speak, telling that he’s the someone who has mattress preferences. 
Your answer in itself wasn’t a lie; Spencer did sleep so much better in his own bed than anywhere else. One of the first things he’d tell you in the mornings when you wake up in a hotel bed on a case is how awful the mattress was. But once you got down to it, he didn’t actually mind all that much. You hope for poor poor Spencer’s case that Penelope and Emily are far too intoxicated to piece your lie together, however lying to profilers has never proven to be successful. 
Maybe they were too drunk, or maybe they had their fun with Spencer, sensing his flustered state, and decided to spare him. They walked you to the door, both girls giving you a hug before you left. Spencer of course ran out the door before the goodbyes had even finished leaving his lips.
____
“Y/n I’m really sorry for what I did in there,” Spencer finally says. The walk to the car had been silent, he held your hand so as to tell you he wasn’t upset at you for anything, but the clench of his jaw told you he did not want to speak.
“Hey, you did nothing wrong,” you said, reaching a hand across the center console of the car and resting it on his thigh. He tremors beneath your touch before welcoming it, placing his hand on top of yours.
“Are you sure?” He briefly looks away from the road to meet your eye. 
“I promise.” You gently squeeze his thigh.
He sighs. “Okay,” he says.
“Everyone knows we're together, Spencer. It’s normal for couples to kiss.” You’re trying to explain something to him that you know he knows. It’ll never work.
“I know, it just feels… weird to me.”
“Then we don’t have to kiss in front of people, we can save it for when we’re alo-’
“No.” Spencer’s voice was strangely stern.
“W-what?”
“I want to be able to kiss you in front of people. I want to be normal.”
“You are normal, don’t do something that makes you uncomfortable solely for me to enjoy it.”
“Y/n, there is nothing that could make me uncomfortable with you.” He slows the car to a gentle halt in the parking lot in front of his apartment. He looks over into your eyes. “Nothing.” His tone of voice is reassuring. You smile at him, a small giggle coming out of your nose. 
He’s so cute.
His top lip trembles slightly, not like he’s about to cry, more like he’s trying to hold his smile back from you. A hand comes up to meet your chin, thumb running along the bottom of your jaw to your chin. He lets his thumb trace around your lips, pulling the bottom one down as he finishes his circle. 
He’s slow in his movements, but turns his hips and body to face yours. He uses his hand on your chin to pull you toward him. He closes the gap between you, pressing his chest firmly into yours. His lips hover just off of yours. His breath is hot against yours, yours the same to him. He exhales shakily as his lips barely graze yours.Their touch is so light you don’t think it would even count as a kiss. His soft lips and their exploration have your heart racing.
You press closer into him while moving your lips more eagerly against his. Spencer returns your eagerness, his movements becoming fervent. His hand slides to the back of your neck and fingers tangle in your hair as he pulls you impossibly closer. 
You lift your legs up into the seat of the car, shifting your position to rest on your knees which allows you to lean in at a more comfortable angle. Your hands roam up to Spencer’s face, he allows your fingertips to trace the beautiful contours of his jaw and cheekbones. His skin is warm and soft beneath the pads of your fingers, the finest layer of sweat beginning to surface on his face.
He squeezes his fist in your hair, the gentle pulling of it bringing a small whine past your lips, causing a deep groan to leave Spencer’s throat.
His other hand finds your waist, pulling you onto his lap without breaking the kiss. He whimpers as you settle on him, the inevitable friction of you against his lap causing his hips to rut up toward you so slightly. The confined space of the car amplified every touch, every feeling, every movement, each moment intimate and exhilarating.
Your fingers move to his hair, pulling gently, but insistently. He hums little noises into your mouth with each small tug. Your kisses are heavy, the passion leaving you both breathless. The warm air being exhaled fogs up the windows of the car, blurring the outside world. 
You finally pull back, resting your forehead against his. Your eyes lock with his, a gaze of longing covering the brown of his. You feel his chest rising and falling against yours. His hands are rested on your hips, fingers digging into you a little roughly. 
You smile at him, rubbing your nose into his. “Ready to go in?” you ask as you crawl off his lap, opening the car door and starting the walk to his apartment door.
part 2 HERE
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next chapter: P is for Perfect
other parts: Spencer Reid A-Z Masterlist
view the masterlist in a calendar version! 
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a/n: i felt like i haven't been writing enough interactions with the team, so these last two parts have kind of been dedicated to them. i also realized i only had one chapter with smut, so i wanted to give my lovely lovely whores (said with love) some content.
i left jj out of this part because in accordance with the timeline, she has a newborn baby at home, and i personally feel as if she wouldn’t leave a two month old henry home to go drink with her coworkers.
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