#its hard to draw during the day
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Have some Future! Doodles. Raph's not here but he's fine, don't worry about it.
#leonardo#donnie#mikey#doodles#sketches#i just wanted too doodle a bit more before going to sleep#its hard to draw during the day#so I better take advantage of every single hour at night#its seven am what about it#god my eyes#are they open? i think they are#donatello#future donatello#future mikey#future leo#rottmnt#tmnt#rottmnt fanart#rise of the tmnt
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rainbow dash and j makes so much sense i think
gift for @hayleymarriedjakuraii !! hope u enjoy <3
#danganronpa despair time#drdt#drdt fanart#j rosales#j moreno#arei nageishi#jarei#my art#artlying#i havent drawn ponies since like 6th grade why was this so hard#also its AREI DAY !!#i forgot and i dont have time to draw anything else#so i added her last minute oops#silly fun fact!! i used to not rlly like jarei but ive now been enlightened#i need to draw them Even More to atone i think#later tho too many ideas not enough time#more j art coming your way guys i just have hw to do first#not to get real and personal for a sec but#i also had two family members pass in the past couple months and have been doing Not Too Well lately#but drdt and esp content from the vas has really been helpful in lifting my spirits#so i really wanted to do something for hayley while shes going through something similar#idk how much this will actually help but i hope it brings u a bit of joy during hard times!!!#but yeah this was the only gift i planned#the other j art coming up is just bc you have too many fire ideas and i have to draw them all lest i perish
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New Fernando outfit dropped !! He looks like a s'more....
#i really fuck w this one ngl#i reallllyyyyy like the cohesiveness of the colors!!#idk what i would say the vibe of it is but i like it a lot!#i wanna draw this one maybe 🤔 unfortunately im p busy atm#god it sucks looking at media day pics of him bcs his 'entering the paddock' outfit usually slays#but then the vast majority of the pics are of his changed outfit#where hes often wearing thw most horrendous shoes and sunglasses ive ever seen djkfkglg#well anyways. id probably wear this so :)#idk if anyone has posted these yet#so i might as well bcs i rly like the clothes! its so hard to keep track of the schedule during this gp cause the timezone is so far ahead#f1#formula 1#fernando alonso#2024 australian gp
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:D (I ramble in my tags about this)
#shuichi iguchi#shigaraki tomura#mha spinner#bnha spinner#spinaraki#spinneraki#ok now that the tags are out of the way LETS TALK#i was reading a webtoon when female lead did that whole laugh and cover it with your hand thing and i do it sometimes too#and i got to thinking about WHY and why its usually girls depicted as such and i know some people dont like their teeth/smile#and im like well shut the fuck up! im thinking fem spinner!!! like being self conscious about how she looks and developing it on accident#and shigaraki never really noticing until one day she DOES and wow spinner looks really pretty when she laughs and why does she hide it#like damn!!! i have a lot of thoughts about what spinner but female and the changes that would have on the character and why and agdjfkflg#ANYWAYS someone stop me from regressing to the old way i used to do hair bc its too damn time intensive but its so easy to zone out during#fem shigaraki#fem spinner#was going to properly do the background but i got done after forgetting the texture for spinner for the 4th time + went eeeh good enough#also!!!!!! the last “”panel“” made me realize how weird that angle is to draw spinner with his major proportions and also keep the soft 1/2#2/2 smile reading as a smile and agdhfkfl am i adding “looks like a resting bitch face” to my spinner headcanons? maybe.#but imagine spinner trying so hard to look approachable and give a little smile but his face just????? doesnt do that very well (at least#not as easily as more human looking humans) and how that might play into his ostracization and then him leaning into that#as a defense mechanism (like if they think im an ass then I'll look like an ass on purpose) ahdndn he was so grumpy in the bar in the bg#mha jbee
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cheeby
my friend thought i drew taggart with a horn for a second. so:
#halloween is next week taggart!!! its next week!!!!#TAGCEN#i was talking to my coworker this morning about how its legit rly hard to draw good anime without falling into that weird uncanny valley#and thought about it all day until i could draw this during my lunch break#i wouldnt call this a success its still a little jank...#id need to sit down and absorb + study the various stylistic symbolisms for a whole day. cute anime look is very particular and specific
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dumb post of the month. rlly wanted to do one of these so i did. bc life is short i guess
#selfship#frank castle#sona: meta menardi#spidersona#oc x canon#self insert#one day ill draw him consistently. that day was not yesterday#its just hard to draw him the way i see him in my mind. i dont have the skill to do it yet yk#but ill keep trying#also i wanted to make it look like they were the ones filling it in to a degree#which is why some of the right ones are 'corrected' by the other#like meta adding to franks awkward meter#anyway sorry for posting m/f ships during pride month if it helps franks bi#meta is complicated so i gave her a tbh like shes working on it okay
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from a while back
#my art#rare colored drawings#even if its just flats#i feel like ill only ever post art if i want to rant in the tags LOL its awesome#sometimes theres just those kinda vague thoughts and feelings that feel a little pointless to actually talk to people about yk#its nice having a lil blog to throw stuff into :) journaling i guess#i dunno i feel stressed thinking abt juggling all the different life things. its smth i see expressed a lot and yeah. literally how#i kinda think hmm i should slowly incorporate things one by one. but then its like damn life just flies tf by and youve done jack shit#but then when im actually doing things i feel like things just keep piling up and idk how long i can sustain it until it all falls down#i guess this anxiety kinda comes from having had really poor mental health during my school yrs... maybe i still do but ahh#i just wonder when the next time that everything comes crashing is gonna be yk. it feels so inevitable but the stakes only get higher#so i dunno. ive been having a hard time sleeping from anxiety.. which gives me more anxiety... which gives me even more anxiety#im supposed to be cramming these tasks into these little pockets of time but i blink and a day is gone and then a week and a month.. a year#i want to do the things i have to do but also the things i want to do. but also REST#and ik that the balance between those things is extremely necessary.. bc losing that balance is exactly how shit hits the fan#hows anyone gonna manage that?#but i guess learning to do that is what life is all about.... lmfaooooooooooooooo#time keeps slipping man i hate it#ill keep trying tho ✌️ all i can do
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k so been a while since i shared some art on here yeah yeah?
right so, here are some (very out of order) sketch pages I managed to filled up back in May that I actually still really like enough to post publicly
its mostly just referenced drawings and redraws of clown’s work, but with a close eye you can spot a couple were referenced from some of @forgrtashes-blog’s fanart
y’all can go ahead and check out read more if you want to gawk at my sketchbook some more
As above so below! this lovely redraw was referenced from one of @dxkjf ‘s lovely sketches of Frank and Eddie cuddling <3
I remember I had fun with this one in a sort of frustrating way, it was certainly a reminder for me to make more of an effort to draw more complicated character interactions going forwards like hugs! (an embarrassing amount of brain power was dedicated to figuring out the limb placements…)
also feat. the most recent sketches of frank i’ve done so far! (well i think so anyways)
and somehow idk how but somehow i ended really like a lot of the art I made while trying to study frank’s design more in depth! there are some actual pages where i was studying and making notes of wally’s design as well but, i like the look of those pages a lot less than these ones, so yeah no only I gets to see those haha
by the time i was “done” with my informal art study of frank, school stuff was starting to pile up more and more and i had basically no trying for drawing anymore
but!!! these 3 franks are basically (+1 other) are the most recent sketches and while not a lot, i think it kinda show through how much better i got at drawing frank <3
overall in terms of progressing my art journey this was all so very fun and informative, hopefully things in my life will align to let me have the free time to do more of this again soon!!
#i do not dare to tag this with the main tags#sketchbook#traditional art#tradtional drawing#sleepy doodles#<- god its’s been too long since i’ve used that tag#i’m actually just reusing an sketchbook i had during my days in scuplture class in highschool that still had plently of empty pages left#it was nice to draw semi-regularly in it again <3#i swear i didnt draw ONLY heads tho when trying to study some of these designs#it just that most of my full body sketches look like shit to me#so yeah no way in hell i’m sharing those#this whole endeavor was also my first time drawing with mostly color pencils and pen#<- it felt like pure hell BUT it did help me make great strides towards killing the perfectionist in me#also after a while i think it even starts to show through with my line confidence improving#drawing in a proper sketchbook again IS making it a bit of a proper bitch to draw on my phone again#after like a monthish of drawing with proper drawing utensils again going back drawing with my finger sucks so hard
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I ended up not sleeping at all
#i am so fucking tired#I just lay here all night#well its my fault i went crazy hard during my cardio and didnt stretch properly so my legs and everything really hurt lmao#i wanted to take painkillers earlier but idk if mixing painkillers and alcohol was a good idea so i didnt and now on the only day off i get#i didnt sleep a t al and its bright as fuck outside and i cant go to sleep when it’s bright fuuuuuuck#💀 guess i cant draw today bc i know ill just be sloppy about it and wont do a good job#its nearly 10 am impossible try sleep more#i took some painkillers half an hour ago and that helped finally im no longer squirming abt like a dumbfuxh
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14 yr old egg maxime looking at gru who got hit with the transgender beam at age 12: why the fuck would i be jealous of him. im not. btw
#STRONGGGGGGG believer in trans maxime but SPECIFICALLY where he doesnt actually work it out fully until like. after graduation#i feel like maxime wld have gotten very caught up in the social heirarchy of the popular girls. esp w being so close to valentina#but he struggles with like. actually fitting in for a numberrrrr of reasons. being uncracked transmaac being among them#he says to valentina one day like ‘do u ever wonder what it wld be like to be a guy’ and shes like ‘hmm not really.’#and thats the end of the conversation for another year at least#what with maximes obsession w popularity and social standing ESPPPP during high school i think he wld very much try to smother it#for a longggg time.#i struggle to explian this sometimes but w gay transmascs who end up dating girls but. as a girl. but it happend to meeee. it happens i pro#but this is my maxime idea.#like he latches onto val cus shes genuinely kinda nice to him and shes like. the epitome of what he feels he SHOULD be#gru he actually likes but gru also reflects what he is trying to hard to push away#and so theres a lot of complex feelings that end up coming out as jealous vitriol#esp w the influence of the popular girls.#btw this is a personal thing but i dont like to rlly think abt transphobia etc in fiction. exceptttt for like personal arcs#like in my mind in most fiction and mostly like. kids media esp. its just not a thing like ppl dont care#but i do like using it for individuals#um so like. socially not an issue rlly but moreso w specific characters and dynamics#anyways anywaysssss. i fuck heavilyyyyyy w trans maxime it is so canon to me.#TRANSFEM VECTOR TOOOOOO. SHE IS SPECIAL TO ME#this is soft launching the shit ive been drawing just now but im soooo sleepy so not finfishing it rn#im so slowwww at drawing man BUT im getting better i think#also want to maybe draw smth from my dream last night but is maybe too weird. unless u guys fw transgender dream fuckery#btw completelyyyyy unrelated except its maxime but ohhhdiscobug sbae me. save me#so fucking epicccc i love it. they need to fuck NOW#sorry who said that.#no but rlly i heart their backstoriessss sm i feel they r kind of similar in that they wld be able to relate#that stuck in childhood kinda thing#bratttttttt. dude. i cant do this shit anymore#the concept is so simple but sooo painful#like ack he grew up being this one thing that got him attention and praise and love. and then he gets thrown away
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cw/tags: househusband!nanami, fluff, smut, fem!reader
— oh househusband!nanami my love…
househusband!nanami initially resisted the idea of being a stay at home husband when you first proposed it. aghast, he might even say. he couldn’t fathom the possibility of being dependent upon your income. not that his masculinity was threatened or anything of the sort. you were the one supposed to be spoiled while he does the hard work.
your husband was traditional in a quite endearing sense. bless his giant heart and his even bigger cock.
“darling, i want to do this. for us,” you had gently insisted. reaching forward, you took off his spectacles and brushed a hand around his cheek. “you deserve to be pampered, too.”
househusband!nanami was exhausted from the long hours over many years and he knew his wife was sorely aware of that fact. he leaned into your touch, hazel eyes slipping shut.
“alright, my love.”
it took some adjusting to his new role during the first few days. when your alarm rang, you swiftly silenced it so he wouldn’t wake up. looking over your shoulder, you find his side of the bed empty.
househusband!nanami had gotten dressed as usual before remembering he didn’t need to work anymore. instead of going back to bed, he whipped up a breakfast feast fit for a queen. he also sent you off to your big-shot job with a kiss and your lunch.
soon enough, this became a routine. a hearty breakfast followed by a “see you later” kiss—kento didn’t like saying goodbye, it’s always “see you later.” househusband!nanami wanted to bring a smile to your hectic days so he stuck an adorable note in his neat handwriting squarely on your lunchbox. he never ran out of words to express his love for you.
househusband!nanami was finally able to tackle the books that had accumulated on his side of the bedroom but never had the chance to read. you could only imagine how he looked like, all cozy. in the nook of the living room where the sun shone best, he had one leg tucked under his body with his glasses perched on his sharp nose.
when he was not devouring words, househusband!nanami was taking himself on a stroll in the neighbourhood with a cup of a pick-me-up coffee. once, he passed a park and sat at a bench watching the mothers playing with their children with a soft smile. however, he quickly walked away because he realized his presence as a sole man just lingering at the edge of the park might be a cause of concern for the mothers. you giggled later over dinner when he recounted his thoughts to you. what a thoughtful man you married.
you wanted to give him 10 children.
if not books or a stroll in the neighbourhood, househusband!nanami was doing his duty ever so happily between your legs.
"k-ken..." you whimpered, back arching gracefully while your nails scraped his undercut in a way that made him growl into your pussy. he knew how much you loved the vibrations as much as he went crazy for your nails on his scalp. "missed this pussy today....mmm...” he captured your clit in a wet, hungry kiss. “take tomorrow off for me, sweetheart.”
this part of the night quickly cemented its spot as his favourite. to absolutely neither of your surprises.
househusband!nanami became fast friends with the owners of your favourite bakery. they already knew him from his frequent visits after his long shifts to pick up something sweet for his wife but the more he hung out there, the closer he got with the bakers. you were particularly fond of the strawberry shortcake from there and what did he do? oh yes, he learned how to make it. everything was from scratch down to the syrup. by the end of it he was sticky but super excited to surprise you with it for your birthday.
"honey, those better be happy tears," he chuckled, drawing you into a tender hug. either that, or the cake turned out to be a disaster.
"of course they are, kento!" you blubbered in his chest. strawberry syrup and whipped cream was smeared around your mouth, mixing with your tears.
oh, how you adored this man to his bare bones. and he devotedly breathed in the very air you exhaled.
#mimo writes#provider mindset for nanami ONLY 🔥#nanami kento#kento nanami#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen kento#jujutsu kaisen nanami#jjk nanami#jjk nanami kento#jjk kento nanami#nanamin#jjk x y/n#jjk x you#jjk x reader#jjk smut#nanami x reader#jujutsu nanami#jjk fluff#jujutsu kaisen fluff#nanami smut#kento smut#kento x reader#kento x y/n#jjk kento#nanami kento x reader#nanami kento x you#nanami kento x y/n#jujustu kaisen#jujutsu sorcerer
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I’m so tired of being disabled.
#reblogged something recently that talked about makking a numerical guess at how much energy you have every morning#and linking it to how much youre realistically able to do during the day#ultimately so you stop trying to do 90% on 30% days#and even just drawing up the scales is bad#the first third are house/bedbound for fucks sake#i dont even get to being able to shower until im at like 75%#and im realizing most days lately are at 30%#which im hoping is just coz i technically had something closer to a 90#but i just... its so fucking depressing realizing how little i can get done in a day#and yea ik others have it worse but id like to bitch about my lot please#i dont know how to make peace with it#at least when i was killing myself i had a purpose#but honoring my health feels a lot like... idk#theres just so little there#life seems so dismal when i can barely participate in living yaknow?#im also feeling extra guilty because i dont think i have much food in the house#not fuck all i can cook anyhow#so i might have to get ubereats again#and that just fels bad yaknow?#im just really dissatisfied with my life and my body and its really fucking hard#me saying shit
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cw. fingering, tutor/smart girl reader, fuckboy yeonjun who’s kinda mean
FUCKBOY YEONJUN and his sudden and very apparent obsession with you; the girl who always looks so pretty during lectures and in the halls around campus. he can’t help but find an intrigue in the way you walked, the way you answered questions in class with a little bit of a know-it-all tone, even how you swiped lip gloss across your lips. he’s sworn he’s never been this hot and bothered about someone before. so what else is he to do than pursue you? he wastes no time approaching you within a few days of noticing you, almost embarrassing himself as he attempts to fluster you— earn some kind of approval yet all he got was a simple stare and then a nod. like he was crazy, like he was the weird one. oh, and that hurt his precious ego a bit too hard.
so maybe he’ll approach you again but this time he’s asking for some tutoring lessons— something to boost his grade in the class, all the while you stare at him with those absent eyes, jaw widened in an almost “are you done” quirk upward. Yeonjun barely gets his proposition out before you’re questioning him, why suddenly? tutoring sessions in the middle of the semester? “are you gonna help me or not, sweetheart?” he watches the way your eyebrows scrunch and it almost sets him off again. but Yeonjun has a little more composure than he thought and simply waited for a response. “okay, fine,” he grinned, brain already twisting with the thoughts and ideas of what he wanted to do. he’s already got you in his clutches, he just needs to find some sort of bait to keep you inside.
He’s sitting beside you in the library, bored out of his mind as you try to teach him something about something, he doesn’t care much to focus. When you agreed to tutoring him he assumed it was because you were interested— little did he know you took things very literally, especially college. So he watched with vacant eyes as your pretty, well-manicured nails dragged along the paper, underlining every word he needed to know, every vocabulary he should have memorized by now. His mind playing the nastiest scenarios of you; thinking of ways he could get you, all the scenarios playing out in his mind like a movie. Until your fingers snap in front of his eyes, snapping him out of those lewd thoughts. Your eyes are stern and its like you know exactly what he’s thinking; the glare you hold almost having Yeonjun act up, he almost grabs your thigh, he realizes he could just proposition these thoughts, it’s on the tip of his tongue. “Pay attention, stupid.” Your words make him run his tongue along his teeth; really? Stupid?
So you go back to instructing him, acting all better and smarter than him, you wouldn’t mind if he ran his fingers up your thigh, right? His touch jolts you out of focus, so suddenly that you stammer over your words; that’s the first time he’s ever heard you stutter like that. Were you suddenly nervous? Yeonjun watched your expression, a once serious stare was now replaced with pink cheeks and scrunched eyebrows, trying to keep up that nonchalant attitude. But he could almost see your composure crack. The feigning sound of your authorstive voice melt into a soft mutter. His fingertips wandered even further, half-expecting you to push him off, but you never did. He abused this, flicking the hem of your skirt up to he could feel the plush fat of your thighs under his palms. “I’m paying very good attention, sweetheart.” Yeonjun’s voice is full of malice, his smirk apparent on his plush lips. It’s a whisper but this whisper is cocky and you hate it. “Keep reading.”
Keep reading? Keep reading— is he serious? He asked for your help and he’s demanding shit from you? How dare— you let out a swift, unstoppable whimper as his fingers push against your clothed pussy hard. He chuckles as he feels you tense up; drawing his fingers in circles around your entrance, stopped only by the cotton fabric of your pink panties. You turn your head to him and see that smirk on his face, it’s sick but only because you hate the smugness of it. He’s prideful that he finally got the girl who showed little to know interest in him. Did he really though? You remained as steady as you could but slowly your composure cracked… every word you spoke every line, every stupid paragraph you read caused your demeanor to slip.
“You’re stuttering a lot,” Yeonjun observed aloud, “You nervous?” The pads of his fingers grazed your clit, then again, “You’re not as smart as you think, babe.” You want to turn and tell him to back off but then feeling of his touch was too good to pass up. The rumors you’d heard about him— the rumors of him being a flirt, a playboy, a no good tramp. Those were all true. You’d sworn off any advances he’d ever made on you, and the intensity of it has boiled over the edge. He’s getting what he wanted and you weren’t inclined to stop him at this point. Besides, what’s the harm in a little fun?
“Read it again,” Yeonjun grits his teeth as he bends you over the table, skirt flipped up. The library was closed way beyond its usual hours. It’s dark and the only light is from the stupid little lamp at the table, illuminating over your features for only Yeonjun to see. “Again.” He stuffs himself into you so well it’s almost surreal. You shook your head and cried, “Can’t— Yeonjun, p-please!” He simply clicks his tongue and groans, holding your hips steady as he pulls himself back again, painfully slow. His cock fit so tightly into you it was almost choking him; you wailed into the wet, tear stained paper of his textbook, annotated with notes that you had no care to show him again. “Mmm, you can. I need to memorize it don’t I? So read it for me. Hurry up.” Yeonjun snaps his hips into you again, harsh slap of his skin meeting yours making you shiver. Your eyes glaze over the dumb algebraic equation, the words highlighted in neon yellow, blurry in your vision. You squinted your eyes and in a whiny, dumb voice you read out loud.
“There ya go,” He patted your butt, chuckling at the way you shook from his touch, “M’ learning so much…”
#౨ৎ. dee’s queued#feat. yeonjun .ᐟ#choi yeonjun#choi yeonjun smut#txt smut#tomorrow x together smut#tomorrow by together smut#choi yeonjun fanfic#yeonjun txt#yeonjun hard thoughts#yeonjun smut#txt yeonjun#txt fanfic#txt x reader#txt imagine
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Comfort Has A Name
Pairing: Joel Miller x fem!Reader
Summary: For you, comfort has a name: Joel Miller.
Word count: ~1.1k words
Tags/Warnings: fluff, freezing your ass off, soft!Joel, jokes about saggy balls in hot weather
A/N: Look at that, I actually wrote something. I'm literally drowning in uni work atm so I have no idea when I'll get back to my other fics, but I'm too overwhelmed with my task list tonight so naturally I had to procrastinate and think about a comforting Joel situation. This is literally no more than a drabble, but maybe it can provide some comfort for you too 🥲
Tough and gruff as he may be, Joel Miller is still your comfort person.
Occasionally, people will ask you how the hell you deal with him on a daily basis, and you never know what to reply. Where do you get the patience?
You're not a saint, by no means. Your patience does not exceed the normal amount, but you've never found Joel testing it.
It's more the opposite, really.
Where other people complain that he grinds their gears, you think of him as the drop of oil that smoothes out the kink in your own system.
Like that day him and you got surprised by a thunderstorm and had to take shelter in an abandoned building. Nothing about the complex provided a sense of comfort; bare and crumbling walls, dust and rubble-coated floors, and more broken windows than intact ones to show for. It was a miserable night. You were freezing, drenched from the downpour the two of you had gotten caught in, and the wind wasn't helping either, howling through the cracks and holes in the ceiling and walls like a wailing ghost.
Joel and you had taken cover in one corner of the building. In the dim twilight of the early night, your two cowering figures could've easily passed as two more large pieces of rubble to the untrained eye. Your soaked clothes lay strewn around, hastily discarded and exchanged for dry clothes from your backpacks in an attempt to not lose more body heat than necessary. (Joel hadn't looked, of course, and neither had you. Both of you had turned their backs to each other as you'd quickly stripped off your clothes, as quickly as the soaked garments would allow.) Still, your teeth were chattering relentlessly, adding a rhythmic element to the white noise provided by the downpour outside.
You reached for your backpack to retrieve your sleeping bag, hoping to wrap it around you like a blanket for extra warmth, but you noticed the mishap as soon as your fingers found the side compartment of your bag. The flap hung loose, and your sleeping bag underneath it was drenched.
"Fuck." You muttered under your breath.
The flap must've had come loose sometime during your sprint through the rain, which left your sleeping bag drenched and you without a plan to warm up. With a sigh, you pulled the bunched up material from its tiny compartment and rolled it out over the floor next to your drenched clothes. You were doubtful any of it was going to be dry by morning, but the chances were still higher than if you kept it all bunched up in your backpack.
You'd slept on solid ground enough to know how cold and unwelcoming any stone surface could be, but that night, you truly understood whoever had coined the term 'stone cold'. The hard concrete against your back was drawing out more heat from your limbs than you could conjure, despite your best efforts. You had curled yourself into a ball, knees tucked tightly against your arms which were crossed over your chest. Your hands, formed into tight fists, were buried in your armpits, but it wasn't helping. Frost was settling in your every limb, slowly working its way from the tips of your extremities all the way to the core of your bones.
That's what you got for getting caught in the rain in early November.
"Hey." Joel's voice grumbled next to you, barely distinguishable over the rain splattering outside. You shifted your head and squinted at him through the dark.
He too was curled up into a human ball, but he'd extended an arm to you as if inviting you for a side-hug.
"C'mon," he said and beckoned you over with a flick of his hand.
You didn't need to be told twice. With your backpack in tow, you scooted over to him, dragging both your belongings and your butt over the dusty ice-cold floor.
"Whoa." You breathed out in surprise as you tucked yourself against Joel's side. His arm came down around you instantly, locking you in place and holding you closer to him than you might've allowed yourself. Heat radiated from his center like he secretly harbored a little white dwarf in his abdomen.
Before you could even think about what you were doing, you pushed yourself into Joel's side as much as physically possible. Your arms snaked around his waist and just barely touched on the other side, while your head came to rest below his chin on his chest, your legs all jumbled up into a big knot drawn as close to yourself as possible. It wasn't really a comfortable position, and yet it was as comfortable as you were ever gonna get.
"Are you an oven or something? How the hell are you so hot?"
Joel snorted. You could feel the low rumble of laughter vibrate in his chest that followed. "Guess that's genetics for 'ya," he retorted, and you only then realized the ambiguity of both your remarks. A lazy smile formed on your lips and you softly boxed his rib cage.
"Not what I meant," you said with half a laugh and quickly wrapped your arm back around his torso. His warmth was too delicious to give up for even a second. Already you felt ten times warmer than you'd had on your own, and that was just from a few seconds of being wrapped around Joel's middle like a jacket you had been reluctant to bring and now regretted.
"I know, sweetheart," he replied and you could hear the smile in his words. "Always been warm-blooded. S' a blessing in winter and a curse in summer. Always sweatin' my damn balls off from May to September."
"Hmm." You feigned a sound of delight. "Tell me more."
His chest vibrated once more as another round of laughter rumbled through him. This time, it was him who faintly smacked your head at your jest. "I'm serious. Ain't no fun having your balls basically stick to your knees all damn summer."
Your eyelids fluttered close as you rolled your eyes. What a charming picture he was conjuring up in your brain.
"You know, when I said tell me more? I really didn't mean that." You shook your head at the picture of a sweaty ballsack stretched out all the way to the knees. "Christ."
Joel chuckled under you. "You said I'm hot as a' oven. I didn't start this."
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Are you scared of me, Princess?
Jasper Hale x human!reader
Summary: The reader sees the scars on Jasper's arms, prompting him to tell her the truth.
Words: 1,646
Warnings: talk of murder, vampire stuff idk, scars, cursing
Author's note: God this is angsty. Someone get 8th-grade me in here right now because this is what she thought she was reading at her age.
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Jasper sat in the bed placed in his room, his mate resting her back against his chest. His arms were wrapped around her waist and his face found its way into her hair. Her hands were placed on top of his on her waist, relishing in the feeling of comfort he gave her.
They were a strange pair, the two. The bloodthirsty vampire fighting his instincts to feed and the helpless human girl who wouldn’t be able to fight him if she tried.
But she trusted him with her whole heart. It had been hard at first. She had to marinate in the knowledge of the existence of vampires, and he suffered the constant smell of her sweet scent, calling out to him every second.
It was so hard for him, even on a good day. Her smell of her blood always drew him in.
The only thing holding him back from draining her was the feeling he knew he wouldn’t fight the minute her body became lifeless: dread.
But now, they laid in each other’s arms in complete trust.
Her hand wandered up his forearm, stopping at the unevenness of his skin. She looked down, pulling his sleeve up briefly.
Bite marks and scratches laid all up and down his forearm. She didn’t want to know how far up his arm it went, thankful for the sleeve.
She felt him shift. He felt uncomfortable. Scared of her reaction. But above all else, he cared for her. She could practically feel his gift poking at her emotions, intertwining them with his. A sense of calmness fell over the two of them before words could form.
Her hand still laid against his arm gently, her thumb brushing one of the bites to comfort him in her own way.
She felt his head move away from hers, leaning back against the bed frame. She used this opportunity to turn in his grip, now facing him. Once there, she pulled his arm into her lap, her eyes inspecting the scars in front of her.
He simply watched. He couldn’t hide them, and he would never lie. Not to her. So, he simply sat there to let her ask him or draw her own conclusions.
She finally looked up, her eyes locking on his. She’s thankful of his gift, because otherwise, she may have been teary-eyed. “T….Tell me, Jasper?”
His eyes softened. God, she was so good to him. So perfect. So innocent and pure. Everything he knew he wasn’t.
Her blood would be so easy to take. The feeling of adrenaline would be worth the-
“It’s… a long story, Princess. I don’t think you wanna hear it.”
She was visibly hurt by his answer, her hand retreating from his. “Oh. I… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pry… I just… just thought…”
He chuckles to himself, teasing her, “Thought what, Princess? You really wanna know?”
She nods, her eyes glossy, holding an unreadable expression.
He sighs. He wanted to hold off from telling her this. That was his plan. But now, she had ruined the perfect plan in his head. Not that he could be mad at her. His heart couldn’t do that.
He pulls his sleeve up his other arm, showing her the scarring. “D’you know much about the Civil War, Darlin’?”
She nods, her eyes never leaving his forearm.
He smiles, “Good girl. Knew you would.” He took a deep breath, not that he needed to, but it allowed him to collect himself and decide what to say. “I was turned during the Civil War. A woman named Maria convinced me to help her train a vampire army. I was foolish and naive. I thought she was doing the right thing.”
He looked up at her to gauge her reaction. She simply stared at the scars, her head low in thought. He took this as a sign to continue.
“You know.. I was, uh, a major, in the war?”
Her head perked up at that, her eyes meeting his. “A..a major?”
He smirked, “Yeah. Major Jasper Whitlock.” As he said so, she felt a wave of pride come from his body. She didn’t need Jasper’s gifts to sense it, for it had come so plain.
He continued, “I trained them myself. Her army, I mean. I know you don’t know much about us, but newborn vampires are more dangerous. More deadly. They’re stronger than most.” As he said this, she could feel his tone becoming sharper.
“Stronger than Emmett?”
He nods, “Yes, Princess. Much stronger. You stay away from a newborn.” It had meant to be advice, but it came out a demand. “They’re more deadly than you can imagine. I’ve watched them do…” his eyes look off in thought, “…unspeakable things…”
A small silence overtakes them before she breaks it. “And you trained them?”
His eyes quickly move back to hers, the amber color glowing, “Yes, ma’am.”
“How?”
“Not easily. They don’t take too well, as you can see,” he said, his head motioning forward at his arms. “I punished them, too. Killed them when they got out of hand or weren’t what we needed.”
He feared to look up at her, but he couldn’t resist. Her gaze was on the window. He didn’t often wish for a gift different than his, but at this moment, he wished he could read her mind. See what was going on in that lovely little human brain of hers. But he couldn’t. He sensed she wasn’t distressed. He had to see her eyes to be sure. Not for his gift’s sake, but for his own. His hand outstretched to grab her jaw gently, pulling it towards his own. “Are you scared of me?”
Her eyes catch his, their faces a foot apart. “…Sh…should I be, Jasper?”
He considers her question quickly with a nod, his voice low. “Really fucking scared.”
She blinks at his wording, her brain struggling to comprehend everything in front of her.
He wanted to joke, take the dark mood away, but he knew this was serious. “I killed before this,” he gestured to himself, “I killed during this…. I’ll probably have to kill sometime after this. I’ve murdered many with no remorse, their bodies laying at my feet. Innocent lives and murders, too. I overpowered the strongest vampires with ease, ending them mercilessly. My heart holds no mercy. So, I’ll ask again. Are you scared of me?”
She wasn’t sure what to think. She couldn’t put it into words. Was she scared? She supposed so. Any sane person would be. But she trusted him. She trusted him. She trusted him. “You… You won’t hurt me, Jasper.”
He wanted to laugh at her sweet response. How naive of his little lamb. She said it so sure of herself. Of him. She didn’t know of the constant, deep thirst of blood he fought back every time their eyes met. She didn’t know of the pain he felt when she parted from him. She didn’t know of the horrors he had endured. And most importantly, she would never understand the terrors he had caused.
“You don’t know that, Princess.”
She took a quick breath in at his response. Every reasonable thought she ever had was gone. She should run. She should hide. But she didn’t. She wouldn’t. Her body remained here, on the vampire’s bed, his hand gripping her jaw while staring at her like she was prey. Every reasonable thought was gone.
She reached her hand up to place on top of his on her jaw, flinching at the cold feeling of his skin on hers. “You won’t, Jasper.” She began to even sound confident.
He smiled at her, his sharp teeth peeking out. This girl believes in him that much. What a stupid girl. Too trusting. Too hopeful. Too pretty. Too good. Too perfect. He could absolutely ruin her. But he wouldn’t. “C’mon, Princess. Admit you’re a little afraid.” He needed to hear her say it.
Her hand gripped his, pushing it down her jaw lightly until it rested over her throat. His hand now wrapped around her neck, her hand lightly resting on his.
He was speechless at her touches. Her movements. Her willingness. Her loyalty to him. His eyes stare at his own hand, admiring the view in front of him. Her hopeful eyes staring into his while his hand rested above her only source of oxygen. It was intimate. It was scary. It was perfect. She was perfect.
His thumb brushed her throat lightly, feeling her heartbeat quicken at his touch. He could practically feel the blood running through her veins. And she trusted him still.
They sat there in silence for a while, simply admiring the other.
She was perfect. Too innocent for her own good, but so loyal and willing for him. Her pretty face was the perfect view for him. He could stare at it until the end of his days. And she trusted him with her life.
She trusted him with the one thing his body thirst to destroy. And he loved her all the more for it.
He was strong. Resilient. An open book for her to read at her leisure. Protective was a word she was familiar with. She felt like his arms were the only thing she needed to live in the world. She trusted him with her life.
His other arm moved up her body, his hand getting lost in the hair on the back of her head. He pushes her forward, capturing her lips in his.
The hand on her neck stayed. But it never twitched.
They pulled away from each other to let her catch her breath. Their faces were close as they tried to think of the right words to say.
“You’re not afraid of me.”
It wasn’t a question, it was a statement. She wasn’t afraid of him.
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Toxic romanticization of studying
In a word of introduction, my profile partly shows that studying and exploring is wonderful. But as a person involved in science*, I would like to show healthy and true patterns of this beautiful adventure in acquiring knowledge.
The inspiration for writing this post this time was not the phenomenon from Tumblr (although you can also observe it here), but from Pinterest. There you can come across cycles composed of quotes and photos whose aim is to motivate young girls to learn, succeed and get good grades. These images often also show examples of characters from movies, TV series or real life that you can aspire to be like. Overall, I have to agree that it really works! But I would like to draw attention to certain elements that need to be verified.
1. You shouldn't get up at 5am
First of all, the correct amount of sleep is one of the most important factors affecting the proper and effective functioning of our brain. During sleep, nerve cells regenerate, organize information acquired during the day and consolidate memory traces, which is directly related to learning. Lack of sleep increases impulsivity, deepens negative thinking and slows down the body's reaction time!
2. You can be a genius without good grades
Of course, good grades are a pleasant confirmation of our knowledge and praise for hard work. However, sometimes it is worth considering whether the structure of exams themselves, especially those with closed questions, affects the results. We often study for one specific exam, the knowledge of which may be very… limited and sometimes not useful, so it is worth prioritizing the topics that we study hard.
3. It's not cool to think you're better than others
We are different and have different priorities in life. It is also worth considering how many people escape from the rat race and start a slow, stress-free life. So we have to agree that judging people based on grades or responses under stress (sic!) is not cool.
The good thing about romanticizing studying
As I have already said, these types of collages are really motivating. So let's talk about what's great about them and what's worth highlighting and saving for later.
1. Knowledge is beautiful, but your outfit and surroundings can also be
We know that we should never judge a book by its cover, but… the issue of social perception painfully confirms that we do and will continue to do so because this is how our brains work. And isn't it nice when someone looks at us and thinks this girl is so classy?
Moreover, a nice outfit that makes us feel good gives us a lot of self-confidence. There are also many studies confirming the positive impact on motivation and concentration of a neat and aesthetic workplace.
2. Not just cramming, but also discovering
Broadening your horizons is easier with passion and real commitment. And to achieve this, the topics must really interest us. Not everyone has yet found something that they are extremely passionate about in science, so that is why you have to dig deeper and discover different areas.
3. Don't be afraid to use your knowledge in practice
Schools and universities, unfortunately, have their own rules and they do not always allow you to show your 100% potential. Thus, share your knowledge with others externally, write essays, blog and social media. This form of activity also makes you learn things faster and easier. In addition, contacts with others will expand your knowledge.
Therefore, I must say that it is worth choosing your inspirations carefully. Nothing helps you enjoy studying better than a clear head and lack of prejudices.
*This post was inspired by my own experience with studying. If anyone is interested, I think I can share my mistakes that did not help me in an academic adventure :)
#study aesthetic#healthy studying#study motivation#studyblr#dark academia#light academia#studyspo#study inspiration#study inspo#study blog#studying#productivitytips#studyblr community
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