#i am very scared of the possibility that it is possible for me to be anything more because that implies that i’m stupid because i didnt try | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cuubism · 9 hours ago

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Do It Scared

While he's in the middle of being overstimulated and miserable at a wedding, Dream's meager attempt at finding peace is disturbed by the intrusion of a drunk man from the party across the way. But what first seems like a curse might actually be a blessing, as his new companion is inordinately charmed by Dream, anxiety and all. [Explicit]

Dream cradles his glass of wine between his knees, scrunched up as small as possible on the bench outside the venue door. He should have brought his coat. He is freezing. But he can’t go back in. It’s too loud.

He takes another sip of wine. It doesn’t help him feel less fried. It doesn’t help him feel like less of a drag, less of a burden, any less than the worst company in the entire world.

He takes another sip.

It’s very cold. The music at the reception pounds through the doors behind him. He grimaces.

Sometimes, Dream wishes he could be the person who could enjoy it. And not the person he is.

He takes another sip.

The doors across the way crash open. There is another wedding going on this same night, Dream remembers. A man stumbles through the doors, jacket and tie askew, trips, spilling half his glass of wine, but rights himself just before falling.

Dream watches warily. He came out here to avoid interacting with others.

The man shakes himself, straightening his tie. He must be very drunk. Dream wishes he were, too.

Then the man catches sight of Dream moping on his bench. “Shit,” he says. “Sorry. Didn’t realize someone was already sobering up in this courtyard.” He tries to go back inside, but the door’s locked automatically behind him. “Fuck.”

Despite himself, Dream laughs. At least he is not the only one who feels an utter mess.

“Well, was a shit party anyway,” the man says to himself, before slumping down onto the bench across from Dream. “Can I share your courtyard?”

“If you don’t mind me ignoring you,” Dream says.

The man laughs. “Fair enough.”

He sips his wine, what’s left of it. Closer, now, Dream takes in the dishevelment of his hair, and the red tinge to his eyes that suggests he might have been crying. Dream is curious, but doesn’t ask.

“Feels like weddings are supposed to be happy,” the man muses, more to himself than to Dream. He wipes at his eyes. “But.”

“I primarily find them overstimulating,” Dream says. He really should be better company at his own brother’s wedding. But he’s never been very good at it.

“That why you’re outside?”

“When I’m overstimulated, I begin ‘behaving like a cunt’,” Dream says, and the other man laughs, startled. “So, yes.”

Dream can barely manage his social graces at the best of times. And the best of times these are not. The mask has been filed away.

“Alright,” says the other man. “Fair enough. I can’t judge. When I’m sad I start behaving like a narcissistic dickhead. Look, I’m even making someone else’s wedding about myself.”

“Why are you sad?” Dream asks. Weddings make him feel sad, too, but he thinks not for the same reasons.

“Was supposed to get married,” the man says. “Last year. She died. Sorry, don’t think I have the story in me tonight.”

Probably for the best, as Dream would hardly know how to go about responding to it. “I can see why weddings could be traumatic,” he says sagely.

The man smiles, though it’s sad. “Yup.”

He finishes his wine, then says, “It’s Hob, by the way.”

“Oh. Dream.”

“Dream,” Hob muses. “You don’t like weddings either?”

“My complaining will be far less justified than yours,” Dream warns.

“Let’s hear it, I could use any distraction.”

“It is not just weddings,” Dream says. “Social events. They remind me. Of all the ways I am deficient.” Conversation. Interaction. Posture. Occupying a physical space. Coping with stimuli. Relaxing enough to be normal. He cannot do any of it. “I ought to dance, and. Celebrate? Should I not? But. I cannot. I. I cannot do any of it.”

How many times has he been told that he should, and now it is like a one hundred foot wall that he cannot surmount, the years of compounded expectations too great to tackle.

“Do you want to?” Hob asks.

“I don’t know.” Dream can no longer disentangle who he is from who he was told to be. From who he should be. He is trying. But. “I want to… be a person who wants to. Who can. I wish that… I was a person who could dance freely but I. I cannot. I do not know why.”

He waits for Hob to tell him he should just do it. It doesn’t come. Instead he says, “Well, if you don’t dance, at least you can sleep easy knowing your Great Aunt Ethel didn’t watch you shaking it to ‘WAP’.”

Dream bursts out laughing, clutching his wine as the liquid sloshes in his glass.

“I’m just saying,” Hob says, grinning. “I mean, I’m shameless, but I don’t blame you for wanting to keep the twerking away from family eyes.”

“There has not been any TWERKING.”

“Maybe not from you, didn’t see what I was up to.”

“I see,” Dream says, trying to regain his dignity. “You are projecting on me.”

“Would feel better if it wasn’t just me who’s a slut, but oh well.” He takes a packet of cigarettes from his pocket, and a lighter. “Fag?”

“Sometimes.”

Hob stares at him. Dream stares back. Hob holds out a cigarette to him.

Dream looks down at it. “Oh.”

Hob snorts. “I like you.” He lights his own cigarette, sticking it between his teeth, then lights Dream’s.

“I’m poor company,” Dream says stiffly, embarrassed.

Hob shrugs. “Good company’s boring as fuck.”

Dream doesn’t smoke, so he just watches Hob. His hands tucking the lighter away, then taking the cigarette from between his teeth, blowing a stream of smoke away into the night.

“Why do you smoke?” he asks.

Hob shrugs again. “Get restless. Settles my hands.”

“You ought to try fidget toys instead to avoid the risk of lung cancer,” Dream says, and Hob laughs so loud that he doubles over coughing after inhaling too much smoke.

Dream takes a tangle toy out of his bag and hands it to him. Hob stares at it incredulously. Then takes it.

He immediately starts fidgeting with it, though, so Dream considers it a win.

“What else you got in there?” Hob asks, gesturing to Dream’s bag.

Altogether too much, according to everyone he has spoken to. “Medication. Headphones. A book, though I’ve felt it might be considered rude to read it.”

Hob laughs. “Maybe. But who cares. Go on and read it if you want, I won’t judge.”

“I—“ Dream realizes abruptly that he had been about to say he was enjoying talking to Hob instead. When did that happen? That is not like him, normally he is so paralyzed by fear and confusion that every social interaction is draining in the extreme.

“I. I like. Talking to you,” he admits, grateful that the darkness hides his blush.

Hob smiles. “Me, too. Hey. Will you be missed if we get the fuck out of here?”

“So you know how long you have to dispose of my corpse?”

“My young life is too promising to be spent in prison,” Hob says, winking. “Got to make sure there’s no witnesses.”

“I doubt my absence would be noted while the bar remains open,” Dream says wearily.

Hob stands, swaying slightly, leaving his empty wine glass aside. He holds out a gallant hand to Dream.

“Come along, darling.”

So often when Dream has been called things like Darling, Sweetheart by others it has felt patronizing. But with Hob it’s… nice. Somehow. Then again, he feels Hob may be quite drunk still and may very well regret his choice of company later.

Still, Dream takes his hand.

“I do hope you don’t simply plan to take us to another bar,” he says as they make their way through the venue, retrieving Dream’s coat. “I do not think my stomach could take it.”

“Nah. Drinking doesn’t help with the sadness,” says Hob with a wan smile, helping Dream into his coat. “No. You said you were overstimulated, so a bar doesn’t really feel like the atmosphere anyway, does it?”

Dream stares at him, speechless. Hob had… actually listened to that. And not simply discounted it as nonsense.

“Am I wrong?” Hob says, when Dream is silent.

Dream clears his throat, feeling overcome. “No,” he says, at length. “Not at all.”

Hob smiles and takes his arm. And they leave the noise and merriment behind them.

They end up just walking along the riverside in the dark. Hob lights another cigarette—Dream will have to keep trying with the fidget toys—and Dream watches the embers flare in the dark.

“I didn’t dance much at that wedding either,” Hob says, looping back around to their previous conversation topic. “Eleanor—that’s my fiancee who died—used to love it. Just makes me sad now.”

“Would you have had a big wedding?” Dream asks.

“Small one. She wanted to use the money to go on an extravagant honeymoon instead. Said she wasn’t spending thousands of pounds feeding distant relatives mediocre steak when we could be in the Maldives instead.” He laughs.

Dream dislikes parties, and thinks this is an eminently reasonable position. “I can’t help but agree.”

Hob bumps their shoulders together, but says, “Never did get to go.”

Dream does not ask what happened, though he is curious. He does not think Hob wishes to discuss it.

“Guessing your reasons are different,” Hob says.

Dream thinks it through. “Dancing feels. Emotionally exposing. I don’t wish... to show so much of myself.” He feels tight and uncomfortable thinking about it, and wraps his arms around himself. “I know that may be foolish. And that no one cares as much as I do. I have heard it all before.”

The arguments, the convincing, the pressure, even well-meaning, serves only to make him feel more self-conscious.

He has thought, many times during their conversation, that Hob might do the same.

Hob shrugs. “Don’t have to convince me of your own feelings.”

Dream so often does have to that it has become an automatic impulse.

“I wish that it were easier,” he says, quieter. Every day, the same wish. I wish it was all easier. I wish I could just do it all normally. I wish I could. Exist. Without it being a constant trial. “That it was not all. So uncomfortable.”

“You’re not uncomfortable now, are you?”

“I am always uncomfortable,” Dream says. “But not because of you, specifically.”

“I can pretend you’re not here if it helps,” Hob says. “I don’t even see you.”

“Hob.”

Hob whirls around. “Who said that?”

Dream doubles over laughing. Hob is truly ridiculous. Dream still feels uncomfortable in his skin. But less so than he did at the reception, and that’s a start.

“Tell me honestly,” he says, when he’s straightened up. “Did you bring me out on this walk because you wanted to take me home and have sex with me?”

“Um. Would you be into it if I did?”

Dream thinks about it. It is extremely out of character for him to go home with a veritable stranger. But he likes Hob, and that is equally rare. “Maybe.”

Hob raises his hands in victory. “Not kicked to the curb yet! Thank God, I’m too emotionally fragile to be brutally rejected by you.”

“I do not think you are fragile.” In fact, he is quite charmed by Hob.

“You’d be surprised.” He seems content now, though. “Didn’t actually go to the wedding intending to pick up a cute boy. Just so you know. But I’m happy I have.”

Dream is finding himself happy about it, too, strangely enough. “Where do you live?”

“Oh, not too far. We’re heading that way. There’s a bus stop there, too, if you change your mind.”

Dream huffs a laugh, hands shoved in his coat pockets. He feels nervous at the prospect of going up to Hob’s flat. But excited, too. “You’re very considerate.”

“Just hedging my bets, really.”

Dream decides then that he will go home with Hob. He doesn’t know what will happen, if anything. But he wants to try. To be open to possibility, which he so often fails to be.

“I would like to see it,” he says.

“The bus stop?”

“Your home, Hob.”

“Oh.” Hob grins. “Good. Great. Um. Just around here.”

They eventually do make it to Hob’s building, and up the stairs to his third floor flat. Nerves ping and spin all through Dream’s body as Hob unlocks the door and lets them in. He has never been in this position before. He feels like he might be in a scene from a film, a stereotypical moment, except Dream has never been very good at knowing what comes next in the script. It’s hard to know what he is supposed to do.

He follows Hob into his flat. Lets Hob take his coat and hang it by the door, slips off his shoes. He’s wearing more formal clothes than he normally likes to, in deference to the dress code of the wedding, and feels uncomfortable, but to take anything else off would likely convey something he isn’t certain he’d like to convey. Or. Doesn’t know how to convey?

Hob takes off his own shoes, too, and leads him into the kitchen. Dream takes in everything about his flat, lived in and cozy, soft warm lighting that Dream appreciates. He never feels quite comfortable in other people’s spaces, but he likes it, he thinks.

“Do you want some tea or something?” Hob asks. Now, for the first time, he looks uncertain. He has the fidget toy in his hands again—he must have had it in his coat pocket—and is fiddling with it unconsciously.

“I—” Dream starts. Swallows hard, his throat dry. He takes a hesitant step closer to Hob. Heart pounding.

He doesn’t know why it is always so hard. It is not as though he is afraid of Hob. But he is afraid of… this moment. Of sharing it. Of Hob’s touch reminding him that he is here.

He tries so, so hard, every moment of his life, to forget that he is here, that he is part of things, tries to melt into the shadows, tries not to feel anything lest it all swallow him. People always try to draw him out and it only makes Dream want to cling to the shadows tighter to avoid being seen.

Hob didn’t try to pull him out. He just sat with him there, in the dark courtyard. He hasn’t even turned the lights on in the kitchen yet. There is only the pale yellow one on over the stove. There are still shadows. It feels safer.

“I. I don’t want. Tea,” Dream manages. He steps in closer to Hob, and Hob lets him come, doesn’t lure him in, but lets him lure himself. Dream gets close enough that he can make out the rich brown of Hob’s eyes, the stubble starting to come in on his cheeks, his hair, messed and fallen from its low bun. He wonders what Hob sees in return, and then tries not to focus on it too much lest he get overwhelmed.

Hob’s hand comes to rest on his cheek, just above his pulse racing in his throat. “Are you afraid?” he asks, brow pinching in concern.

“Always,” Dream says, and rides the wave of it into a kiss.

If he’s going to feel like he’s shaking apart from adrenaline either way, then he might as well do so while kissing Hob. Hob makes a surprised sound against his mouth, but then takes Dream’s face between his hands and starts kissing him back.

His kiss is. Desperate. Hungry. Dream does not know how to be wanted like that. It’s terrifying. But his heart leaps. He wants. It’s so scary how much he wants. He doesn’t know how to be the one who wants.

He grabs hold of Hob’s wrists. Grounds himself, braces himself on Hob. Gasps for breath against Hob’s mouth. Leans into the burning touch of Hob’s hands. It’s all so much. It’s so much.

“I need to—” he gasps, pulling back, lips brushing Hob’s, “I need to. Relax.” A constant refrain for himself. Relax. Relax. You need to relax.

“Why?” says Hob. Dream is utterly overwhelmed and still Hob’s look upon him is all want. “I can handle a live wire.”

Is that what he is? Dream always thinks he is nothing. A ghost. A whisper. A thing consuming itself. But to Hob, he is light and danger and wild unpredictable energy. He doesn’t know how he feels about that. But he likes it better than being a ghost.

Hob’s hands fall to his hips. His thumbs stroke under Dream’s waistband, tug his shirt free, press warm to his skin. Dream shudders, heat rushing through him, starting to grow hard in his trousers, which do very little to conceal his arousal. Hob draws him close, presses their bodies together, and now he can feel Hob’s own erection against his hip.

It’s too much. Hob’s touch. Hob’s body. The air that crackles hot between them. How much he wants. Dream is actually physically shaking. His hands are trembling. The world is spinning. He actually might pass out, and he hates his mind so much.

Normally Dream would stop whatever he’s doing when he gets like this. But now the thought of having to stop is making him angry. And maybe he just needs to have it out with himself. If he needs to have a panic attack, if he needs to have a dizzy spell and faint, so be it, he’s tired of it.

“Easy,” Hob says, pulling back, taking his hands and squeezing. “God, you’re actually shaking.”

“I know.” He tries to calm the surge of anger. He knows better than to try to muscle himself into submission. He knows that fighting that electricity isn’t going to end well.

He tries to breathe. Imagines himself composed of frightened sparks. They aren’t going to go away, not tonight. But Dream knows how to survive them. He’s constructed his whole life into an elaborate grid to keep them from bursting. To keep from blowing the fragile circuit.

Just don’t be anxious. But they are a part of him. They are him. One can’t just switch off a bulb and still have its light. Just don’t be anxious. Just stop it. Just do it.

He thinks of Hob instead. I can handle a live wire.

Dream feels so tense he might start fracturing out of his body. He squeezes Hob’s hands to remind himself that he’s here.

“Can we. Take this somewhere,” he says, words measured, “that doesn’t require standing?”

“Are you sure you’re alright?” Hob asks. It is, Dream thinks, the first time tonight that Hob has questioned him on his feelings. Normally he gets pushback on everything he says, but from Hob, only this.

“I am just. Very anxious,” Dream admits. Hob looks as though he might say something concerned, so Dream says, “Can you trust when I say that none of this is your doing? This is simply how I am.”

“Okay,” Hob says, and Dream sighs at the easy acceptance. Hob runs his hand through Dream’s hair, down his neck and back to land low again on his waist. Dream’s skin prickles in an entirely different way. “I believe you.”

It is so easy for him. To not try to fix Dream before allowing him to want this. Hob doesn’t try to bring Dream down from his anxious peak, something that wouldn’t work anyway. He lets the current run through him.

It’s so easy Dream almost feels he doesn’t have to fix himself.

Hob brings him over to the couch, sits down and draws Dream into his lap. Dream straddles his thighs, breath shaking. He’s still trembling, but he doesn’t want to move, doesn’t want to get up. He wants this, this singular, terrifying moment.

Hob unbuttons his shirt with steady hands. Helps him out of it. Dream undoes Hob’s tie, setting it aside, then unbuttons his dress shirt, gradually revealing the shape of his body, strong shoulders, broad chest, coarse hair. He presses his hands to Hob’s skin, mesmerized.

When he gets nervous, he starts to disappear, starts to distance himself from everything around him, but this time he tries very, very hard to stay present. “Touch me?” he asks.

Hob does, hands stroking up and down his sides; kisses the side of Dream’s neck, and his shoulder, and Dream tips his head back, shivering. He is still shaking, god damn him, but Hob seems to trust him, and doesn’t stop.

His hands go to Dream’s trousers, undo the button and zipper, and Dream freezes. It’s so much, to be seen, to be touched, all his senses flying around him in a whirlwind.

He’s hidden his face in Hob’s shoulder. Hob draws him back, kisses him lightly, says, “Try something?” and Dream nods, yes, yes anything, if anyone could direct the chaos of him, he thinks it would be Hob.

Hob takes his tie from where they’d left it aside on the couch, wraps it over Dream’s eyes, tying it at the back of his head. Dream ought to feel more nervous at having his senses blocked but instead everything goes quieter. He lets out a long breath of relief.

“Better?” Hob asks.

“Yes.” Somehow. Someway. It makes him feel less seen. Even though logically, he knows this does nothing to Hob’s ability to see him. Nevertheless. The panic of his body is quieter.

Perhaps when he trusts Hob more, if Hob even wants to see him again after this, he might ask Hob to block his hearing, too, let him forget about all of it and zero in on just the sensation of Hob touching him. For now, he hovers in the middling dark of being temporarily blinded, and listens to Hob’s voice in his ear.

Hob kisses his jaw, up along his neck, biting kisses that will leave marks. Dream clutches to him. He feels he can do little but hang on. Hob’s hands to go his trousers again, and he takes Dream out, holding him carefully. Dream’s breath catches. Hob’s hand is warm and sure as he starts to stroke him, just easy and slow, letting him warm up to the feeling of being touched.

It’s so much easier with his vision gone. It’s like he’s imagining all of this in his own mind, freed of the terrifying, brilliant knowledge of its reality. He can lean into Hob’s touch, gasp against Hob’s cheek as Hob strokes him. He may be starting to dissociate but it doesn’t feel scary, this time. It feels floaty and peaceful.

Hob doesn’t seem to mind taking the lead. He brings Dream’s body higher and higher. Dream hangs on, in the pleasant darkness, overwhelmed. Eventually he hears Hob undoing his own zipper, and his breath catches. Hob takes his hand, brings it down, wraps Dream’s fingers around his length.

Dream holds him gently, cheek pressed against Hob’s, breathing shallowly. Everything is heightened without his sight, every detail of Hob’s body, the precise weight of him in Dream’s hand, the heat of him, the slickness of pre-come at the tip. His heart thunders in his throat as he strokes Hob, as Hob’s hand wraps around his, shows him the rhythm at which he likes to be touched.

“You are so beautiful,” Hob says in his ear.

“I would say the same, but,” Dream says, and Hob laughs, delighted.

“Don’t have to say anything at all.”

He presses Dream closer by the small of his back, arching Dream’s spine, so Dream’s cock is rubbing against him. Wraps his hand around them both at once. Dream moans at the touch, the slide of his body against Hob’s stoking fire within him, so much more vivid than when he touches himself. He’d thought Hob would want… more of him, but this is good, this is comfortable, and safe.

Hob slips his hand under the waistband of Dream’s trousers, palming his ass, bringing him closer, closer. His grip is sure and possessive. Dream falls into his touch, his knowledge, his acceptance.

He’s getting close. He tucks his face into Hob’s shoulder, breathing hard. Hob must sense it, he strokes them harder, faster, crushing their bodies together.

Dream bites down hard on Hob’s shoulder as heat rushes through him, hips jerking into Hob’s hand, utterly overcome as his orgasm races through him. Hob yelps at the press of his teeth, but then laughs. He laughs so easily.

Dream is still floating but feels when Hob’s hips stutter and he comes, spend spilling over their hands. His chest heaves under Dream. Dream takes peace in the rhythm of his body. The strength, sweat, surety of him.

Dream comes back to himself, slowly. And immediate is the rush of embarrassment. How could he—

He kisses Hob’s shoulder where he’d pressed his teeth. “Sorry.”

Hob’s chest rumbles with laughter. He pets Dream’s hair. It feels delightful. Dream wants to lay his head down in his lap and have it never stop. “Don’t worry about it. Just surprised me, is all.” He whispers in Dream’s ear. “I’m more into it than you know.”

“Oh?” Dream is… intrigued.

“Mmhmm.” He nuzzles Dream’s cheek. “You liked the blindfold.”

“Yes.”

“Hmm.”

Dream wonders what’s going through his mind, though he expects, if he sticks around long enough, he will find out.

“Feel better?” Hob asks.

Dream is not so shivery now. Not so utterly keyed up. Electricity spent. “Yes.”

“Good.” He touches Dream’s belly, where his come had landed. “This is going to get uncomfortable quick. Come on.”

He helps Dream up. Unties the tie from around his eyes. Dream almost wishes he wouldn’t, but he doesn’t want to walk into a wall, so he allows it.

When it’s gone he’s met with Hob’s gaze on him, and it’s so indulgent and adoring that he immediately wants to hide away again, take back the blindfold, put on his shirt, before his heart races itself into a early grave. But Hob takes his face between his hands before he can turn away.

Words tumble from Dream’s lips before he can think them through. “Have you... been with anyone since your fiancee passed away?”

Hob’s expression turns sad, and Dream feels bad for asking. “Few one night stands here and there. Nothing that really mattered. But this.” He leans his forehead against Dream’s. “I don’t know, Dream. It feels like it matters.”

The words are like pure restoration washing through him. “I feel the same,” Dream says, with a breath of relief. Of course, he does not have one night stands to compare it to. This is not a thing he has historically done. But still, it feels significant. That he even wanted to feels significant. The way Hob handles him feels significant.

Hob smiles, and kisses him, soft, shallow, but sweet. Far too adoring, Dream thinks, for what he understands a one night stand to be. It utterly terrifies him. He leans into it anyway.

“Come on,” Hob says when they part. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”

Dream follows him, hand in hand, messy, exposed, ever-nervous, but strangely, at peace.

#this one's personal guys 😳 uhh. dont mind it #dreamling #my writing #anxiety #started writing this when - can you guess? - i was overstimulated at a wedding reception 😂

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cherryssodapop · 3 days ago

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Billy Hargrove astrology chart analysis

Though I could be wrong about the time, the aspects are pretty much the closest I’m gonna get (Unless somehow Dacre or the Duffers have released the information of Billy’s birth time and I just don’t know. I punched in 'March 29, 1967 11:06 AM San Diego USA' my fellow astrology baddies do what you will with this information Either way the main planets SHOULD stay the same but his houses might be different BUT we’re proceeding with what we have!).

Now, mind you I haven't done this in a while, I'm SUPERRR outta practice so to my fellow astrology baddies if I miss anything I'm so sorry 😭.

Alr lets get into it, same as the readings I did for Dallas and Darry I'm gonna go by planet and house and basically explain what it all means.

Sun in Aries (in 10th house) - okay so this is so interesting because even prior to me calculating his chart, I always knew Billy was some sort of fire sign, I mean, LOOK AT HIM??? Like HE'S a fiery little cracker (hahaha cracker... I'm sorry im jk I love u B).

But anyways the sun in 10th house is really interesting, I found a post on here that really explained in depth that aspect and how it affects the natal person (Post here) Basically, people with this placement crave recognition, they stand out with confidence and charisma that often draws attention towards them without fail (we see this the second he arrives at Hawkins, he draws attention towards himself immediately). They naturally gravitate toward leadership roles, even if they didn't ask for it (everyone gravitated towards him and put him on the pedestal of being the "King" and dethroning Steve from the social hierarchy). Their drive for validation stems from fragile self-esteem, leading to feelings of underappreciation despite their efforts. Failures can be deeply personal, like they take failure personally and it affects them greatly, but their ambition and resilience pushes them to rise again, embracing challenges as part of the path to success (started working full time the second he graduated so he could work towards leaving his abusive father).

But back to his sun though, Aries is so interesting because that's so accurate???? Like he's intense, he's passionate. He's very straight forward and will say what he has to say with his chest. People tend to follow him around where he goes, Aries are leaders. They can be spontaneous and impulsive. Stubborn but also a bit reckless. These people are your typical "act before think" people, but like who doesn't love a little chaos 🤪. They're ruled under Mars so this sign is all about action and getting shit done. They'll talk their shit and rock your shit, so messing with them isn't really a good idea. But if an Aries likes you they can be a lot of fun. They're very energetic and active people. You'll be anything but bored with them.

now onto his cutesy little moon

scorpio moons are have my heart because they're so sensitive and emotional, that often it's overwhelming even for them let alone an outside person.

People with Scorpio moons often have traumatic childhoods especially his being in 5th house, so probably exposed to big dramatic fights, or the conflict or circumstances were very grand and outrageous (bro kinda witnessed his mom get beaten by Neil and in turn gets beat himself now that he's older). At the same time these are very strong and enduring individuals. Because they tend to always think about the worst possible scenario, have a very cynical and distrusting view on the world. But at the same time, let's not forget, they are water signs, so that sensitivity will always be there, deep down this sign is scared of being alone. There will always be a part of them that will crave intimacy, like true, deep, raw (lol) intimacy. However because of this deep desire, these people can also often be a little.... delulu per say. Like obviously once you've lost a scorpio moons respect they will immediately cut you out like literally, they will treat you like your dead. But Scorpio being the sister sign of Taurus and being a fixed sign, it would take a lot for a scorpio moon to leave like they will put up with A LOT, which is why they often can get taken advantage of in relationships (:/// ). So yea scorpio moons need to be protected and wrapped up in a blanket with some hot coco and be kissed on the forehead.

Moving onto his Mercury (smiles in mercurian dominant myself)

I find this so interesting because on one hand pisces mercurials can be really wise and intelligent (being the last and oldest of the zodiac), these people can have an "old soul" type of mentality so I can totally see them being into topics like philosophy, spirituality, creative arts, anything to really boost their imagination. his 9th house boosts this even more since 9th falls under sagittarius which is all about philosophy and teaching. Because of this, often people with this placement are really good writers. (so I totally agree with the head cannon of Billy secretly writing poetry, and being good at playing games like dnd).

This placement often gets mislabeled as "dumb" or "ditsy" but they're not stupid they just process information slower than most people.

These people are also really good liars. Like they're some manipulative lil bitches (we saw how he lied to mrs. wheeler that he was worried about Max when he was actually raging mad.) They'll lie about almost anything. Sometimes they do it to keep peace around people and avoid conflict and to get people to leave them alone. But yea this placement certainly has a silver tongue innit, helps them get away with stuff but it also means they're really good at rizzing people with their words; speaking of...

our boy over here has a Taurus Venus. like first of all, this comes with so many pluses because Venus is right where it belongs. Taurus is ruled by Venus so this planet is right in its home sign. So my boy is a romantic lil bachelor 😜. Now his mars kind of makes him a fuckboy (most scorpio and sagittarius mars' are but the difference is is that sags often can't tell the difference between love and lust so they just pursue the person anyway whereas scorpio mars' are just horny fucks with strong game) BUT once he finds someone he wants to be in a relationship with, ouuuu girl he's such a gem.

Taurus Venus's value things like stability, security and comfort. He will very much pamper you. He'd give you the best he humanly possibly could. Taurus's are all about luxury and savouring the physical pleasures of life. He WILL be super affectionate, gifting you things, always touching you right, buying you or cooking you your favourite foods. Taurus's like routine so he will memorize your schedules and routines, coffee orders and all those small things. Although Billy would typically be impatient, he'd take his time pursuing you. Especially with his Scorpio Mars, he'd come in strong and steady .I don't wanna say like a predator stalking his prey cause that's more Scorpio Venus but bro definitely wouldn't back down easy. He won't mind playing the long game if he thinks you're worth it. The main thing here with this placement is their ACTIONS say a lot about their feelings towards their s/o. His Pisces Mercury will soothe you with sweet words, but his Taurus Venus will show you with his generosity and sensualness. He definitely knows how to make his girl happy and will stay loyal for a long time if he's certain about her.

Billy has so many aspects that indicate strong sex appeal and attractiveness, like it's written all over his chart lmfaoo his Venus trines his Pluto, His Venus also sextiles his ascendant.

His eros also trines his mars so he has a very passionate and intense drive, especially in the bedroom. No matter what you are to him, sex with him will always be intense. There's nothing soft about the way he engages in intimacy.

Billy has a cancer rising, for those of you that don't know your rising is in charge of your looks and people's first impressions of you. So cancer risings often have rounder faces, softer features and big eyes (I mean look at him bro, he's so baby girl). They also have curvier bodies (have you seen this man's thighs) shorter limbs too. Cancer rules over the chest so cancer risings can have large chests or big boobs ( he certainly has boobs). Also cancer risings are very pursued after, almost as much as scorpio risings but the difference is that Scorpios are very intimidating so often people don't wanna get past the sexualness of it. But with cancers, people simp over them emotionally too because cancer is considered as the "divine feminine" or "mother" in astrology, so basically people wanna wife them up as well as fuck them (literally his entire fandom). But yeah, anyway, Billy is a pretty boy we all know this, even his chart does 😭.

Alright now more about his mars-

Its in the 4th house, which is also another indication of his abusive childhood :/

His is in Scorpio and yes he's a kinky little shit and a great lover in the bedroom, however that's not all that Mars represents in a natal chart. It also represents how a person takes action to something. How they pursue and how they behave and manage their more aggressive and angry side. On one hand, Billy has the potential to be very good at achieving what he wants in life. He's capable of having a really strong mental fortress as scorpio is a very driven and determined sign. Tactical and calculated but also very loyal people. However at the same time, it makes them lowkey control freaks. They're the type of people to always want the last word in an argument and to have control over everything and everyone in almost every situation (though it does make them strategic leaders at the same time, it's kind of annoying). But yeah these people stand on business they will fuck your shit up if necessary because this planet is also in it's home sign, but Scorpio is also ruled by Pluto so it's the darker one of the mars ruled signs. So their anger can be very explosive and dangerous (we saw how he beat Steve to a bloody pulp), so don't piss them off, it takes a lot for them to loose their cool but once they've lost it, it's gone and not coming back.

Last thing I'll talk about is potential career placements he has because we never got to see him thrive and flourish in life because the duffers hate to give us nice things so I'll just tell you what it could've been with his chart

10 house/ MC in Pisces

So this is so cute because this means that he could actually be successful with a writing career, as this placement flourishes in creative careers. So these people are often musicians, actors, writers. They can also be philosophers, and teachers/mentors of some kind (he taught the kids at the Hawkins community pool how to swim). He'd be such an influencer 😝 I can totally see him being a model for Calvin Klein because he's literally built like a model (this is so possible with his 11th house in Taurus) As well as Leo in his second house, he'd live a very lavish lifestyle if financially stable and would really thrive in a position where he shines in his own spotlight.

Anywayssss that's everything for now, if there's anything else in his chart you guys want me to talk about don't be afraid to inbox me.

I hope you guys enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed writing this <3

#billy hargrove #billy stranger things #stranger things #astrology #stranger things astrology

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artistsfuneral · 3 days ago

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usually I am not the biggest fan of pregnancy fics (personal reason) but I had a thought that just won't leave me alone

pregnant omega Lambert

and Aiden isn't with him at the begining of this fic bc they split ways for a while

because of the way his and Aiden's mutagens work together or some other reason, Lambert actually got pregnant, which very much should not be possible. a one in a million chance of a lifetime situation.

of course Lambert doesn't believe it at first - he was feeling weird and went to see a healer who told him the news - it should be absolutely impossible! but..... babies develope a heartbeat at around 5 weeks of the pregnancy..... and if he listens, if he really concentrates on listening Lambert can hear it

useless to say that he freaks the fuck out and then does the first thing that comes to his mind and storms to kaer morhen

its the middle of the year so Vesemir is of course so confused when Lambert comes running in and goes straight to the alchemy lab where he throws himself into research

it takes a week, a week of stressed out searching through old tombs and scribbling dow notes until he realizes that it's true

he knew before of course. but lambert is a man of science so he needs to see it with his own eyes, needs to understand how it could have happened to finally grrasp the concept of his pregnancy and when he does-

when he does he falls into Vesemir's arms and start crying - he is absolutely not prepared for this, he always liked children, always wanted his own kids, yes, but he is so overhwelmed by it all

he explains Vesemir everything they talk and talk and talk and Vesemir can hear it too, stronger already, that little heartbeat that matches Lambert's own

and then Lambert asks vesemir to find Aiden for him (he's too scared to leave KM in his state even if he would never admit it) even if he wants nothing more than to go and look for his alpha by himself, he has to think about more than just himself now and-

so Vesemir heads out and finds Aiden a fucking cat goddamn it Lambert, and it's all kinds of funnily awkward and Vesemir never really tells Aiden what is going on only that Lambert is at KM and needs him and

Aiden and Lambert reuniting Aiden and Lambert talking through the night Aiden and Lambert being so incredibly in love

also baby Witcher

#the witcher #witcher #artistsfuneral about the witcher #a/b/o #lambden #laiden #aiden x lambert #witcher lambert

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winchesterwild78 · 5 hours ago

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Broken pt 5

Master List

Characters: Jensen x Reader (wife)

Warnings: a little bit of angst, but mostly fluff.

A/N: Idea given to me by @cheekygirl2309. This one is a little different than what I usually write. This chapter has a little bit of sunshine for our couple.

Minors DNI 18+

Jensen grabbed me and pulled me close to him. “Pregnant? Really?” Tears filled his eyes. “Yes, Jens. We’re going to have a baby.”

He took me by the hand and led me to the couch. “Sit here baby. I’m gonna fix you something to eat.” I chuckled, “Jensen, I’m not hungry right now.” “Well you haven’t eaten much, let me get you some fruit or something, please.” His green eyes flicked to mine, “Please baby. Let me take care of you and our baby.”

I nodded and my hand instinctively went to my belly. “Okay Jensen. How about some apples and water?”

He smiled and went to the kitchen. A few minutes later he came back with a plate of apples and a bottle of water.

“Thank you, Jensen.” He smiled and sat next to me.

“Jensen, I think we should wait to tell everyone. It’s still very early and I want to make sure everything is okay before we do.”

“Whatever you want, baby.

Jensen and I had decided to head back home, well Toronto since we wanted to see the doctor right away.

He booked the plane tickets and we were heading home the next day. I was ready but really didn’t want to leave our little cocoon we found ourselves in.

Being here with him, in the silence of the mountains made everything else seem to disappear. He however, needed to get back to work too.

The flight home was uneventful and Jensen let Eric know he was back. His filming schedule was set to resume in two days.

We were able to get set up with a local doctor who thankfully had an opening today. As we walked into the office Jensen was immediately recognized, but thankfully everyone was professional.

The nurse immediately took us back to prevent us from being bombarded by people. I was thankful. Dr Ellington was sweet. She was obviously a fan of Jensen’s and was a little star struck, but maintained her composure. She confirmed the pregnancy and she ordered an ultrasound. Checking the heartbeat and measurement she estimated I was about 5-6 weeks along.

We talked to her about my endometriosis and asked if it would have any effect on the pregnancy. She explained that with endometriosis I had a higher risk for pregnancy loss and complications that could lead to delivering via c-section.

I grabbed Jensen’s hand and squeezed. She saw the fear in my eyes, “It’s okay, sweetie. We will just keep you coming back every week and keep a close eye on you and the little nugget.” I nodded and let out the breath I was holding.

Jensen asked more questions as I took in everything she said. I was terrified and wanted to make sure I did everything right. We scheduled the next appointment, next Wednesday and we left.

“Jens, what about work? You can’t take off every week to go to the doctor’s office with me.” He grabbed my hand and held it tight, “Yes I can, and yes I will. I told you, you and this baby are a priority. I’ll talk to Eric and we will work it out.”

I nodded. Thankful for such an amazing husband. I could see he was really trying. I knew he was worried about what the doctor said, but I also knew he wouldn’t burden me with the worry.

“Jens, I’m scared.” He glanced over at me and nodded, “I know baby. I am too, but we will do whatever it takes to keep both of you safe and healthy.”

The next few months Jensen and I fell into a comfortable groove. He would go to do his shoots and on days I had an appointment he would go in late. Some days I’d go with him, others I would go back to the apartment.

As my pregnancy progressed the doctor wanted me to rest as much as possible, so that meant on set I was confined to the trailer.

I was laying on the couch in Jensen’s trailer as he was on set. He had brought lunch and we snuggled on the couch until he had to go back. The baby was active today so he sat with his hand on my belly for most of his break.

I loved watching him sing and talk to the baby. He was made to be a father. I had a late afternoon appointment today so Jensen was working on getting his scenes done before we had to leave.

Laying on the couch I fell asleep. I dreamed of my father again.

“Daddy. It’s been so long.” I ran and threw my arms around him. “Hey peanut. Looks like you’re growing a bit.” He chuckled as he touched my belly. “Yeah. The baby is growing and is healthy. They are just keeping an eye on us to make sure we stay that way.” My dad nodded, “Yeah. Don’t worry, sweetie. He’s going to be just fine. I promise.” Before I could ask him what he meant I heard Jensen’s soft voice, “Baby, wake up. It’s time to go to the doctor.”

I stretched and looked at him. He had already showered and changed. I was a little disappointed. I loved seeing him in his Soldier Boy costume. “Did you have a good nap, baby?” Jensen asked as he helped me get up.

“Yeah, I dreamed about daddy again. He called the baby a “he”.”

Jensen smiled, “Well, maybe it is a boy. That would be fine with me.” His green eyes sparkled.

Arriving at the doctor’s office it was a bit busier than I expected. Unfortunately that meant we had to wait in the waiting room for a bit. It always made me nervous, but most of the people there were respectful and left us alone.

My leg bounced nervously. Jensen smirked and placed his hand on my leg. He leaned over and kissed my cheek, “Hey, it’s okay baby.” I looked at him and nodded.

A younger woman came in and sat near us. She kept looking up at Jensen and then over at me. She gasped softly, realizing who he was. We hadn’t officially announced the pregnancy yet, so her seeing us made me even more nervous.

I looked over at her and pleaded with my eyes. Jensen saw the concern on my face. He decided to be his charming self. “Excuse me ma’am?” He flashed that killer smile. She looked up and blushed, “Yes?” he extended his hand, “I’m Jensen, and this is my wife Y/N.”

She nodded, “Yeah, I know who you are. I’m a fan. Sorry for staring. I didn’t know she was pregnant.” Jensen smiled and nodded, “Yeah, we haven’t announced it yet. We’re just trying to make sure everything is okay with her and the baby before we do. She just recently lost her dad and we’ve been grieving and working on keeping the baby safe. I would really appreciate it if you didn’t say anything to anyone.”

She looked at me and then back at Jensen, “Oh I am so sorry to hear about your dad, but yes, totally. Your secret is safe with me. I promise. I’m having a difficult pregnancy too, so I completely understand. I hope everything works out with the baby.” Jensen placed his hand on her shoulder, “I’m sorry you’re having a difficult pregnancy. That has to be scary, and thank you for keeping our secret. We really do appreciate it. What’s your name, darlin’?” “Oh Karly Johnson, and this little bean is going to be Samantha Jane.”

“Well it’s nice to meet you Karly, and I hope Samantha continues to do well. Thanks again.” She nodded and he sat down.

A few minutes later we were being called back. After being checked, bloodwork done, and other tests done it was time to move to ultrasound.

Jensen helped me lay back on the table and the ultrasound tech got the machine ready.

“You two ready to see your baby?” She asked as she grabbed the wand. We nodded. Jensen held my hand as we heard the heartbeat. Tears filled my eyes. It was so strong and steady.

“So, do we want to know what we’re having?” I looked at Jensen and he looked at me, we both said yes at the same time.

She moved the wand around and then turned the screen more towards us, “So it looks like it’s a boy.” I gasped softly and Jensen chuckled. “A boy?” I whispered. She nodded and showed us how she knew. It was clearly a boy.

She printed pictures for us, I got cleaned up and changed then we left.

I couldn’t take my eyes off the pictures. Jensen couldn’t stop smiling.

“Jens we’re having a boy.” I beamed. “Yeah baby we are.” He couldn’t contain his smile.

A little while later we were back home and I kept looking at the pictures. Jensen stood with this body leaned against the doorframe watching me.

She’s so beautiful and now she’s giving me a boy. I can’t believe it. I’m the luckiest man alive.

He pushed off the doorframe and sat beside me. “Baby?” I looked up at him, “Hmm?” “Are you ready to go public? Once we tell our family it’s a boy.”

I took a deep breath, “Yeah. I guess we can’t hide it forever. Especially after being recognized today.”

He nodded. We called our families and they were over the moon with the news the baby was a boy.

Jensen wanted the announcement to be cute. So he grabbed a sign and wrote 1978 on it and had me take a picture, then he wrote Y/B/Y on it and took a picture, then wrote coming soon and the due date on it and took a picture with a pair of blue booties.

He put it in a collage and posted it on social media with the caption: “Baby Boy Ackles joining the family soon.”

The comments, likes and shares were instant. The love was overwhelming. One comment really melted my heart, “Aww that’s perfect. She just lost her dad and now she’s having a boy. I bet her dad sent him to her. 💙 Can’t wait to meet baby boy.”

Jensen smiled as he pulled me close. “I love you so much baby.” “I love you too, Jens.”

He placed his hand on my belly, “I love you too. So much.” I smiled and he kissed me softly. “Come on darlin’, let’s get you something to eat.” I smiled and nodded.

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