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A Cook’s Tour by Anthony Bourdain

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Stop calling it women’s healthcare stop calling it women’s healthcare stop calling it women’s healthcare stop calling it women’s healthcare stop calling it women’s healthcare

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never elaborating cuz i don't understand the shit i say either

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netflix subtitles are great for when you want to read a caption with like 50% resemblance to what's being spoken

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lord take all of my pain and sufferig and give it to elon musk

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This literally feels like a Black Mirror episode

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I see a lot of posts about how Percy isn't the point of the story in pjo and the story is about the Thalia-Luke-Annabeth narrative and I do agree to a great extent but I do also think it needs to be said the reason why percy is the narrator and not one of them is because he is the cycle-breaker - without him it would have stayed a tragedy but because of him it changed. This is most obvious in how he rejects immortality and instead demands greater support for half-bloods, obviously, but also he trusted annabeth enough to give Luke the knife! he disliked the gods enough to understand Luke even if he didn't agree with his methods and I think that empathy is so so crucial actually! The T-L-A story is built like a mythological tragedy, Percy exists to break the cycle of the story, he's the hero that ends happily.

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Okay, hear me out: The seven decide to do a trauma candy salad on Piper’s social media, and within a day it becomes her most liked post and starts 6 new conspiracies.

Percy: Hey, I’m Percy Jackson, and when I was 12, I accidentally blew up the gateway arch, and there was a nation-wide manhunt for me because they thought I was a terrorist. I brought Reese's Pieces.

Annabeth: My name is Annabeth, and when I was 7 years old, I ran away from home and lived on the streets with two other kids until one of them was murdered in front of me. I brought starbursts.

Leo: Hi! I’m Leo, and my mother died in a warehouse fire, but my entire family blamed me for her death, so I was put in foster care. I brought skittles!

Piper: I’m Piper, and my dad was held hostage, and his kidnappers tried to blackmail me, so I brought the m&m's. 

Jason: My name is Jason and I was abandoned in the woods and raised by wolves. I brought some Swedish fish.

Frank: I’m Frank, and when my mom died, my grandmother kicked me out of the house and told me to go to California. After I came back to ask her about our family history, the house burned down and she vanished. I brought some gummy bears

Hazel: When I was 13, I died. I’m putting in life savers :)

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Percy listens to those whale noises that people use to sleep and he just listens to them like a podcast.

And any time he hears someone like Annabeth listening to them he's like "Wow Daphne is really something else. Honestly I can't believe she would do that"

And like she's like "what?"

And Percy just translates the entire thing to her and instead of calming sounds to help her concentrate she now has Percy tell her all the whale drama which she is oddly immersed with.

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Daughter of fantasy villains decides to rebel against her parents by actually going through with her arranged marriage to a local golden retriever of a prince instead of running off with some local villain-to-be or conquering said golden retriever’s kingdom and ruling it solo like her parents expect her to. Plus, sue her, she’s into the clean-cut earnest look.

At the same time, local prince charming discovers that he’s actually very into the gothic fiance his parents have landed him with in order to try and establish peace with the local evil lair down the lane, he would never have guessed a spiderweb pattern could look so fetching on a ball gown…?

Meanwhile, two pairs of parents in a tizzy because they both expected their offspring to whole-heartedly reject this union and give them an excuse to conquer their goody-two-shoes/evil neighbours, they’re not supposed to actually like each other-!

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sad beige moms are nothing compared to sad beige teachers

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i havent laughed at a ‘web image’ in forty days and nights and ive never seen anything funnier than the top two panels of this

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does this in front of you

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You Are Not Immune To fanart of characters who die in canon that has them alive and well, with scars from the wound that originally killed them