#my ass is chipping away at several larger projects during that time that arent visible on my review cuz theyre not done het | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

duskerot · 28 days ago

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i just put together my year in review art summary for the year and its interesting because compared to last year i think my technical skills improved but it feels a little bittersweet overall because as soon as i got my job all of that ambition just vanished LOL

#txt #tbd #not to say i dont still want to draw and create stuff--i still love drawing and ive been expanding into multimedia a lot this year #but more like..#last year every month just about had some big like full illustration that i felt very proud of #sometimes more than one alongside other art!#and this year started with some of those (tho i feel like ive been in and out of art block for kind of a while now)#but as soon as september hit i literally like. i was finishing ref sheets and then its like #lineart only headshot . lineart only drawing with pink laid under it . and those are the most finished things i have for a month #and i like those drawings! and for some people that IS a finished piece which im trying to work towards in my head #i just know I LIKE making full illustrations with nice colors and a background and character interactions #and i have ideas for them but im just so worn out from working. and im barely even part time #and im not working an art job thats draining my creativity or anything. i wonder if an art job would help or if id just #be doubly burned out #i hope maybe i can adapt to work again or maybe theyll give me health insurance and i can talk to a doctor #about my energy issues. idk. cuz if i cant even work part time and keep drawing then its fucking over for me mentally haha #i do draw sometimes but im much slower. and i have to give myself the grace of knowing like #my ass is chipping away at several larger projects during that time that arent visible on my review cuz theyre not done het #yet*#but that doesnt mean i was doing nothing. and even if i was i should know thats fine #like fuck i made my own nendos this year !! im sewing plushes! i just painted a flower pot! im making animations and studying code!#and even then again i like the art i made this year i just want More of it #realistically i have a lot of free time but its hard because i work best starting At the hour i have to be asleep for work #so my peak productive hours im sleeping. :(#except on days off ig but even then its complicated

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