#it's my mental illness and i get to choose how to cope

[n0anix]

whatever *domesticates your Carnivàle Lecroux*

[the-fictive-haven]

Just realized we never posted this stupid thing we made

[crimsonkenjii-writes]

Aki brainrot. Must have child together.

Still coming up with a name for her. I saw Akihiro and Hana and I liked those two the most so far….

[pebbibrownstone]

you guys every just want to take a bite out of a tree? like just a huge dummy thicc with two c’s humongous chomper domper out of a tree?

[rebellum]

Oh absolutely

my family doesn't like, sit down and talk about all out mental health issues, it's all done through 1-on-1 conversations

But in terms of blood relatives (not even counting people married into it), JUST my grandparents and people descended from my grandparents, 10/16 of us I know for sure have mental illness. If we are also counting life-altering trauma (where I don't know the details enough to know if the person has mental illness form it) then it's 14/16. On one side of my family.

Mental illness is WAY more common than people think it is. Like if someone is mentally ill and it's suspected to have any sort of genetic component, then absolutely they will have multiple mentally ill relatives, and that's not even getting into the role of inter-generational trauma and poverty.

I see those "every family has that one cousin who's severely mentally ill", but considering how my mom once made me promise not to tell the extended family that I had attempted suicide a week before my cousin's confirmation party (like they literally picked me up from psych ward to attend it, I changed from hospital clothes to party clothes in a truck stop bathroom on our way there) because "it would just upset people for no reason", I'm starting to suspect that some families are 100% mentally ill but everyone's pressuring their kids to not show any symptoms in front of the big family in order to save face.

[allwaswell16]

A One Direction fic rec of fics that deal with mental illness in some way as requested in this ask. If you enjoy the fics, please leave kudos and comments. You can find my other recs here.

- Louis / Harry -

✧ rather be sad with you (than anywhere away from you) by ohsailor

(E, 145k, uni) Louis, Niall, and Liam have already been living together for four years when they get a new roommate. Harry’s in pre-med and Louis is struggling to graduate and fulfill his family’s hope of him becoming an esteemed lawyer while battling his mental health.

✧ My Lights Stay Up, But Your City Sleeps by PearlyDewdrops

(E, 108k, fwb) Louis has trouble sleeping, Harry has a habit of wrapping himself around Louis during the nights, and a mutual agreement to engage in a fun and simple thing quickly turns into something perhaps not so fun, and certainly not simple.

✧ another dream but always you by you_explode / @nobodymoves

(M, 66k, superpower) Harry is a Dreamwalker; he has the ability to visit people in their dreams and help put them on the right path. He's assigned to Louis, who's struggling after the break-up of his band. 

✧ From This Moment On by therogueskimo / @bravetemptation

(NR, 52k, famous/not famous) Louis Tomlinson needs a tour photographer, and he thinks he's found the one in the mysterious H on Instagram. Harry Styles swore he'd never do tour photography again - that is, until he did.

✧ knives don't have your back by @turnyourankle

(M, 51k, uni) The lone survivor of an on campus massacre that claimed the lives of his four housemates, Harry is urged to take a sabbatical or transfer. Instead, he chooses to stay in school, move into the dorms, and overcome his fears.

✧ we should open up (before it's all too much) by @disgruntledkittenface

(M, 43k, vampire Louis) Struggling with grieving and depression since his dad died, Harry has never felt so alone. It’s too much to cope with on his own, but he feels like a burden when he tries to open up with people. Then he meets Louis.

✧ there now, steady love (so few come and don't go) by we_are_the_same / @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed

(M, 42k, supernatural) It becomes just another fact of life. The sky is blue. The grass is green. Louis sees when people are about to die.

✧ Here (In Your Arms) by @afangirlfantasy

(G, 42k, enemies to lovers) College AU where Louis is the upperclassman frat boy with problems too deep for alcohol to drown out, and Harry is the stereotypical freshman with plans to figure out who he is.

✧ You and Me by delsicle / @eeveedel

(E, 36k, Dunkirk) Alex goes to war. He comes back and everything is the same -- his hometown, his flat, the boy with the bad heart he left behind. Everything is same. Except for him.

✧ Lead Butterfly by LadyLondonderry / @londonfoginacup

(M, 32k, pirates) When the ship Harry lives on is boarded and overtaken by the crew of The Lady Charlotte, he thinks it’s going to be the end of the line. What he’s not expecting is to be brought onto the ship and provided safe passage. At least, as long as no one finds they’ve mistaken a common pirate for a noble.

✧ To Give You a Hand to Hold by gettingaphdinlarry

(NR, 26k, military) Marine Louis Tomlinson is medically discharged when an IED explodes in Afghanistan. Months later, he's reunited Stateside with his Navy medic Harry Styles. The two of them shelter each other even as they refuse to admit they're in the throes of PTSD, until one night nearly destroys them.

✧ With These Arms Folded by @taggiecb

(NR, 21k, famous/not famous) Harry Styles is living a peaceful existence in California as a very successful songwriter. That is until he receives a curious email one sunny summer morning, and his life almost immediately gets turned upside down

✧ You're A Universe by Jiksa / @jiksax

(E, 15k, kid fic) Louis’s a stay-at-home dad in London and Harry’s a business expat in Qatar. Louis doesn’t know how much longer their marriage can survive the distance.

✧ the colors that i can't change by bravestyles / @bravestylesao3

(NR, 15k, hurt/comfort) Harry has Dissociative Identity Disorder, and Louis tries his best to understand.

✧ You're a Habit Hard to Break by LiveLaughLoveLarry / @loveislarryislove

(T, 11k, exes) Everyone deals with breakups differently. Louis feels everything all at once -- hurt, anger, sadness. Harry feels nothing at all. They're two broken people, but they don't know how to fix themselves alone.

✧ your best fake smile by YesIsAWorld / @louandhazaf

(G, 6k, first date) Harry reluctantly agrees to a first date with Louis at Coney Island.

✧ You've Got A New Life (Am I Bothering you?) by LilyBlue28

(NR, 5k, omegaverse)  the one where Louis is an omega who suffers from PTSD and is triggered one day. He doesn't know how to ask for help from his doting alpha, doesn't think he deserves it, and tries to handle it on his own.

✧ I'm Falling Again by @jaerie

(M, 3k, canon) Just like the last three times, his call went straight to voicemail, driving home the fact of just how badly he’d fucked up.

- Rare Pairs -

✧ You Don't Care About Me (One More Night) by @lululawrence

(NR, 60k, Louis/Nick Grimshaw) the one where Louis pines for Harry and Nick helps ease his way into figuring himself out through a friends with benefits sort of arrangement. Things quickly turn complicated.

✧ Lost Coastlines by pukeandcry

(T, 21k, Harry/Nick Grimshaw) It's been a year since Harry and Niall died in a plane crash – only it turns out they didn't, because they've just been rescued from the island they've been stranded on, and Harry is suddenly back in Nick's life, not quite good as new.

[scrupulosity-comics]

hey is racism one of your obsessions? also white and ocd. if it is, how u cope with it? i'm really afraid all the time to hurt my loved ones who are black people, and they're the majority of my loved ones. and how do u identify whats racism from whats an intrusive thought?

Most of my race-related OCD is abstract stuff like “if I move out of my parents’ house and try to live my own life outside of their control, I will have to find somewhere I can afford to pay rent, which will probably mean moving into a low-income neighborhood, which would mean inadvertently helping to gentrify the community, which would gradually push the original residents out of their homes and disrupt community ties and support systems and creating housing insecurity, so therefore I can’t move out or move on”.

I think that’s just part of a larger existential terror that I can only ever make the world worse by living in it—a net harm to the universe, molecule by misspent molecule.

I have been letting this ask sit in my inbox for weeks now because I’m convinced that anything I say will be destructive. What if my answer enables or excuses racism? What if my answer fuels the anguish of the mentally ill?

The rational and compassionate part of my mind insists that your loved ones (and mine!) understand that you (and I) are white, and have likely dealt with white peoples all their lives, and are capable of judging for themselves whether you are good to them and deserving of their intimacy. It is impossible to go through life without hurting and being hurt by people you care about—always you will have blindspots and miscommunications and competing needs. That’s just part of the curse of consciousness and being a social species. We all get a little blood on our hands eventually, one way or another… friendship involves knowing this, accepting this, and committing to avoid it and then, that failed, to make things right.

Again: your friends know you’re white. They have reason to expect the best of you or they wouldn’t be your friends. They choose to have you in their lives; trust them to trust you, and to recognize the difference between a beloved friend struggling with a treacherous and unkind brain and doing their best in an inescapably racist society, and a racist who whose bigotry makes them unworthy of their time and affection.

I do think racism obsessions are a particularly difficult manifestation of OCD to cope with because they’re hard to discuss at all without feeling like you’re implicitly asking for absolution. With other types of OCD, it’s common to seek reassurance that what you’re obsessively afraid of isn’t true—but what feels more racist than asking someone to reassure you that you’re not racist…? LMAO.

They say the “cure” to OCD, such as it is, is just to learn how to embrace the existential horror of uncertainty. Tall fucking order. Hell on Earth! But in a bizarre way I have found the rhetoric that “everyone is unconsciously and incurably racist” to be unexpectedly helpful… there is no total psychological purging and mental purification we can undergo, no amount of ritual self-flagellation that will drive the demons out, no pristine state we can aspire to and hate ourselves for soiling. Only mundane everyday commitments to compassion and empathy and solidarity and cleaning up our messes. But even then, a thought isn’t a mess. A thought I’d not a thing that happened or a choice you made. It doesn’t represent an alternate timeline branching off into a parallel universe where you have acted on it and hurt people.

Earlier this year I was playing a video game—during my lunch break I got to wondering what happened if you failed a skill check that I had passed in my own playthough, so I looked up a clip on YouTube and was so triggered by the answer (the player character calls his companion a racial slur in the heat of the moment, without meaning to, even if you’ve played him as a committed anti-racist) that I immediately spiraled and was close to throwing up in the broom closet, and when I got home I opened my own save and tried to make the player character kill himself as catharsis. It was an incredibly unreasonable guilt response to a completely fictional scenario that I hadn’t even gotten in my own playthrough, but in retrospect it was a safe way to explore fear of my own internalized racism hurting somebody and what might happen if my intrusive thoughts came true. It sucked and it was terrible and I was angry at myself for being crazy about it, but it ended up being a small dose of exposure therapy and practice at not repenting for nonexistent through self-abuse.

I dunno. This has been a long uncomfortably personal ramble but I hope it’s helpful. I don’t know if your friends know you have OCD (or how it manifests) and I don’t know whether telling them would help. But allowing yourself to trust others to trust you is far more useful than beating yourself up for thoughts you don’t want. I have on occasion warned people that I am cautious about doing certain things with them—particularly drinking—because there is a risk that I may spiral and show symptoms humiliating and uncomfortable to both of us, and I don’t want to put them in a position where they witness or feel like they have to help me manage the white guilt elements of my disorder. These conversations have usually gone well, and the mutual understanding to boundaries takes some of the tension out, which seems to reduce the triggers. It’s messy and awkward and maybe it limits who is willing to be friends with me, but IMHO it’s better than surprising someone.

As for determining whether something is an intrusive thought or actual racism, I guess my answer is: does it matter? Would you manage them differently? Intrusive thoughts may be an evil voice in your brain, but racism is an evil voice in society’s brain.

[spinchip]

Never the dark 7, 10 [dareth x Cyrus, it's not a pairing I've seen before and it humors me in a good way], and 11?

[ask meme]

YAAAY THANK YOUUU

7: Where did the title come from?

Bury Me Low by 8 Graves! I was listening to this song a LOT when conceptualizing the fic and I feel like the whole thing kinda describes Zane in the fic. In retrospect, I do kinda wish I had named it something smoother, I had a few ideas for what I might change it to (Inside the Dark, Forsaken Dark, and [redacted because i might be using it for another project teehee]) but I do like Never the Dark and I think i'll keep it lol

the funniest thing about this song is that I played it so much I got sick of it and now I wont listen to it

If I die today, it won't be so bad I can escape all the nightmares I've had All of my angry and all of my sad Gone in the blink of an eye I've seen the devil. I've shaken his hand I've seen the evil that dwells in a man For all of my wisdom, I can't understand ...... If I die today, it won’t be so hard Everything scares me, but never the dark

10: Why did you choose this pairing for this particular story?

Polyninja because I love them and the fucked up relationship dynamic post zanedeath called to me.

Pixal/Skylor has always been awesome but I included it here specifically because of how I view their character actions in the three year time skip. Skylor joins the ninja a few month after Zane dies and despite the fact that they don't harbor any ill will towards her, Zanes absence is a fresh wound that it feels like she's trying to step into. It makes everyone bleed. No one is coping well and things get messy and tense between skylor, the ninja, and pixal until Skylor has a mental breakdown and removes herself from the team (trauma response due to the nature of how her father raised her.) Skylor was never part of the team- she's not been there from the beginning, so she's an outsider. And so is Pixal. (Not intentionally of course, but the others share a different kind of grief that the two don't.) Cyrus eventually convinced Pixal to go to therapy where she gets some clarity on things and reaches out to Sky to apologize again for any role she played in the teams tension with her. She invites Skylor over for dinner and they accidentally end up talking for 6 hours- and the rest is history

(Skylor IS on good terms with the ninja btw. they apologized and hashed things out- but she won't rejoin the team for a lot of different reasons.)

Coppershipping my beloved. new-ish in the ficverse! They were starting to be more friendly with eachother after zanedeath, and that progressed post s11. Dareth took his grief at losing Zane as motivation to get in better shape and actually try and train, so he hits the gym and puts on a lot of muscle. takes up boxing. He wants to be able to do more to help if something happens again. He ends up putting his new skills to use protecting Cyrus from something or another and Cyrus asks him to be his bodyguard. They spend a lot of time together and fall in love teeheehee

also, fun fact for you, Dareth handmade all the ninja suits they wear in NTD!

11: What do you like best about this fic?

oh man. Is it bad to say the fact that it's almost finished? I'm just really proud I've been able to stick with it and put in the time and effort. I've got a pretty spotty track record with chaptered work- i lose motivation and drop things a lot, unfortunately. But i'm still dedicated to finishing NTD!

and im really proud of the wordcount! 100k!!!!!!! WAOW

[ladydeatharcheron]

“The HoW was rehab”

This is a common argument I see in our fandom when it comes to defending the inner circle’s actions towards Nesta in the beginning of acosf. And I am here to tell you that this argument is null and void, using the guidelines of a healthcare institution linked here.

1. The most important thing is to set a positive, supportive tone. Ensure that the individual is treated with love and respect and maintain a calm, level tone, even if they react unpredictably.

Here is the love, support, and respect the inner circle has given Nesta during her so called intervention:

“You look atrocious,” Amren said.

“Sit down,” Rhys snarled.

“Though I bet it’s hard to look good,” Amren went on, “when you’re out until the darkest hours of the night, drinking yourself stupid and fucking anything that comes your way.”

Rhys scented that fear. She knew it from the second one side of his mouth curled up in a cruel smile.”

“You,” Cassian said from the armchair to her left. “This bullshit behavior.”

The High Lord of the Night Court gestured to the sloping lawn beyond the windows. “We’ve got plenty of space out there for a brawl.”

2. Because many who live with mental illness feel trapped, it’s helpful to lay out a clearly defined plan with options for the individual to choose from.

Now here is the options that were given to Nesta:

“It’s not up for negotiation,” Amren said.

“Your apartment is being packed as we speak,” Amren said. “By the time you return, it will be empty. Your clothes are already being sent to the House, though I doubt they will be suitable for training at Windhaven.”

And this gem too:

Wow! I’m sure that the choice of being locked up with no way out (no, walking 10k steps is not an option for someone as malnourished as she), or being sentenced to die in the human lands didn’t make Nesta feel trapped AT ALL. Good job inner circle. Very touching.

3. However, someone living with a condition like depression or bipolar disorder is highly unlikely to react in the same way. A much smaller group of just one or two friends or family members will likely create an environment more conducive to success.

I fail to see the productivity in shoving Nesta in a room with a man she has repeatedly stated she wants nothing to do with, a woman she had a bad falling out with, and a High Lord that taunts her and abuses his authority to get her to do their bidding.

Here’s a Q&N because I can already hear some of you guys from miles away:

1. “Isn’t that giving Nesta a choice?”

No. An ultimatum is not a choice. Even Cassian admits that it is:

Cassian didn’t miss the look between Feyre and Rhys: the utter agony in his High Lady’s face at the ultimatum he knew was to be presented to Nesta…”

Here’s a definition of an ultimatum:

Ultimatum (noun): A coercive manipulation that utilizes the illusion of choice.

Hence, not an actual choice.

2. “Would you rather they had done nothing?”

No. Nesta needed help. A more constructive approach would’ve been an intervention with Feyre and Elain only. Her actual family. No insults, no jabs, no belittling. They could’ve laid out several options (did she want to train? perhaps dancing would’ve helped her more? maybe she would’ve preferred helping out in the library only?) and let her decide the one she saw fit. Locking her up is not an answer and I’m a strong believer that the most powerful High Lord and Lady of Prythian would’ve managed to make alcohol inaccessible to Nesta regardless of where she was.

To the people that consider it rehab after everything proves that it’s not, please note that the entire point was to get Nesta to stop drinking and sleeping around. Tell me, why is it that when she slept with Cassian, despite sex being her coping mechanism, no one batted an eyelash. That’s insinuating that the inner circle does not in fact care who Nesta sleeps with, as long as it’s under their control, no?

Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

[gravytrainnaturebornn]

the power of self-talk in the fight against self-sabotage (for binge-eaters and ppl who have never been skinny🫶)

disclaimer: this is not proana. this is for people who struggle with binge eating as a form of self-sabotage, emotional comfort, self harm, etc. overeating can cause just as much harm physically and mentally as undereating. please be safe. now, on with the show!

weight loss, but specifically extreme weight loss, equals change. change equals discomfort, so people tend to subconsciously avoid change. this is why starting to see progress on the scale or your body can trigger the urge to self-sabotage that progress and binge eat.

for people who have been big their whole lives, that fear is heightened by the fact that being thin is completely uncharted territory. by following through, youre entering a new world that youve never navigated before. your brain might get scared, say its much too big a mountain to climb, and tell you to give up. its easier to say fuck it because for most people, unhappiness is a comfort zone. if youre used to hating your body and wanting it to change, then actually *changing* it poses a very serious threat to your comfort and the lifestyle youre used to.

questions like: "what if i reach my goal and im still unhappy/unattractive?" "what if i dont look like myself?" "what if i reach my goal, cant sustain it, and then i gain it all back and humiliate myself?" can all make someone feel anxious about succeeding in their weight loss journey. and for people with overeating issues, this is a big trigger for binge episodes.

so how do you combat this instinct to self sabotage? well, im not a psychologist so take this with a grain of salt, but for me it helps to soothe these subconscious fears and train the brain to fight these urges. self-talk and thought-correction play a HUGE role in rewiring the pathways in your brain that lead you to bingeing. truly, practice and consistency are the only things that are going to cause a big change, so stick with it !

correcting problematic thoughts *immediately* when they form is key to preventing problematic behavior in the future, and that starts with being able to identify those thoughts. the moment you catch yourself thinking about food, cut yourself off with a correction. maybe even think about food on purpose a few times to practice recognizing and correcting it.

for example, if you just ate an hour ago, chances are youre not actually hungry yet. tell yourself that as soon as you realize youre thinking about food. i like to tell myself "i dont need to eat, and im not gonna sabotage myself by eating that." by acknowledging it and calling it what it is--literally an attack, by my brain, on my own progress--i immediately attach a sense of accountability to the actions that follow. there's no deniability. its no longer a passive choice. theres no mindless eating or "i wasnt thinking about it." if i eat after acknowledging the act of eating as self-sabotage, then that is me *actively* choosing self-sabotage over self-control. accountability alone can change a lot if you let it.

what i tell myself changes depending on the situation, but i find that repeating some of these phrases throughout the day helps to fight urges in general, and certain ones help for specific cravings and situations.

below are some examples of things i tell myself that have helped me fight the urge to self sabotage. they dont all have to be true when you first say them, the point is training your brain to think a certain way. it may feel unnatural at first, but the more you say them the more natural it becomes, until eventually it becomes apart of the way you actually think and you dont have to work so hard at it. remember: consistency. is. key.

okay ill stop blabbing! here:

•i allow myself to be thin.

•i accept the change that comes with losing weight.

•i am ready to see myself differently and cope with any complicated feelings that may come with it.

•i am prepared for my body to change.

•i will deal with my wardrobe when the time comes, and im not afraid of dressing differently for my new body.

•i will adjust to my new dietary needs and appetite when i reach my goal weight. i will not always be hungry; eating less will be my new normal, and i will be okay.

•i am not afraid of being hungry.

•food does not comfort me, nor does it solve my problems or make me feel better.

•i am ready to navigate a life that looks different to the one im living now.

•i am not afraid of reaching my goal. if i do feel afraid, i am confident in my ability to work through difficult feelings and continue towards my goal.

•im not going to sabotage myself by eating that.

•i accept that people will perceive me differently, and i am ready to navigate that change.

•i am prepared to receive comments about my weight loss.

•i am not afraid of getting what i want.

•i believe i deserve what i want, and im dedicated to working towards getting it.

•i am capable of adapting to new routines and habits.

•fear is not a reason to give up, and i will continue to work even if the possibility of change makes me uneasy.

•i am prepared to face the future, even though i do not know what it looks like.

•i allow myself to make mistakes, and i will not use them as an excuse to quit.

•my long-term satisfaction is more important than what i want in this moment.

•i am in control of my actions and i am capable of resisting the urge to binge.

•i allow myself to have the body i desire.

•i allow myself to change.

•i allow my life to look different and i am not afraid to see a new person in the mirror.

•i am excited to reach my goal, and prepared to navigate any changes that come with it.

•i am ready to meet and introduce others to the new me.

[plurapony]

Why are you kissing the ass of an institution that hates everyone who doesn't fit their idea of "normal"?

Not everyone can access psychiatric care. You're coming from a place of privilege. And how dare you spout bullshit like "Anyone with a real mental illness would want to get better and psychiatric care is the best way to do that." It's not. You can't tell OTHER PEOPLE what's best for them.

How about MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS and leave anti-psych folks alone.

anons other ask that they sent.

first of all, holy fucking shit anon - did you even read the post? i genuinely wouldn't even consider myself pro psych moreso psych critical. the message of the post i made was "fight for better psychiatric care, not no psychiatric care"

we as a system are pony loving cringelords, we use xenopronouns and are pretty much every letter in the LGBTQ+ community AND we are autistic as hell believe me when I say we are NOT trying to uphold a system that wants everyone to be normal. we have seen the good that psychiatric care can have for people and we have also seen the bad, we know some therapists genuinely really care about making the world a better place for everyone and we want to do our part to make that happen.

cdds are a disorder and at this point in time the only method of affectively treating them is talk therapy/edmr which requires therapy. and yes i do come from a place of privilege as i am australian and i believe our healthcare can be a lot better than some other places. i would never ever judge others for not being able to access therapy especially because that's a position i would be in time and time myself. my point was living with this disorder and all it's symptoms can be a living hell sometimes and i genuinely don't understand how someone with that disorder wouldn't want to get better. genuinely i can't wrap my head around it.

anon you really sound like a miserable person. if someone has a cdd and doesn't want treatment that's their business, but if they start hurting other people it is no longer their business. our ex had been diagnosed with bipolar and bpd, didn't care to get treatment and instead abused the fuck out of us. our mother is very much against therapy and instead again will abuse the fuck out of us. and funnily enough both would use their trauma against us to make us feel horrible. both instances instead of healthily seeking out ways to cope with their trauma they turned to abuse and used their trauma only in moments where it would gain them to moral high ground. and why is this relevant? because it's people like you who scream "let people do what they want with their disorders" who don't give a shit when those people's disorders are used as a tool for abuse.

lastly ill say again so it's very clear. I AM PSYCH CRITICAL! there is good in therapy and that's good! there is also bad in therapy and I HATE that! therapy can also be hard to access and I also HATE that and I want to help change it! and how people choose to heal with cdds is entirely their business AS LONG as is not harming others. wew.

[yuri-for-businesswomen]

„but she wants to be a prostitute, so she should be allowed to be one“

the nordic model is not criminalising prostituting yourself, but prostituting others. the statement above actually means this:

„but she wants to be a prostitute, so men should be allowed to buy access to her body for their own sexual gratification“

and „i want to be in prostitution“ is not a statement that really says anything. it can mean:

i need money/im in debt

i dont have any viable alternatives or i would take them

im being discriminated against on the regular job market (due to misogyny, ableism, racism) and i dont know how to make enough money any other way

i have a family to take care of and exploring other options is too risky

i have substance abuse issues/im homeless and no employer will take me

being a sex object has been normalised and glamorised by the people surrounding me

i have been used and abused by men before so i at least want to make some money off it

im out of touch with my own sexuality and do whatever my sexual partner wants/want to experiment which means i let men do what they want to me

im mentally ill and this is self-harm to me, or i have issues keeping down a regular job

i want to rebel (against my parents, against religion, whatever) and its way too easy to enter prostitution so i chose this

i have been groomed and manipulated from a young age

my self-image and self-worth depends on men wanting to use me as a vessel for their desires

ive become numb to my abuse/ive accepted my fate of being abused by men

the brothel is my family and i have no security net or connections outside prostitution

i live in the brothel so i would be homeless if i exited

ive intellectualised prostitution to a degree i can rationalise the inherent abuse to myself and others

im very privileged and in the fringe minority who can actually pick and choose who pays me for sex but i dont see that only the fact that marginalised women make up the majority of prostitutes allows me this position

my level of education and skill hinders me from getting a job with a viable income

i need flexible working hours that no employer is willing to offer me

i want to open my own business but no bank is willing to give me a credit

im saving for something and there is no other option to make enough money to save some due to capitalism, misogyny and marginalisation

im desillusioned and disappointed with heterosex

ive been told this is my only option

ive been in prostitution too long to exit even if i wanted to

i cope with the abuse by defending it

ive been failed by institutions and people that were supposed to support me

i want to get out of an abusive relationship so i endure the abuse of prostitution to make enough money to leave him and prostitution/my boyfriend makes me

i want out but i cant right now

etc etc

these are not mutually exclusive either. it is clear that entering prostitution hinges on other mechanisms without which no woman would choose to enter prostitution: there is no intrinsical will to prostitute oneself. the ways that lead girls and women into prostitution are diverse but they all lead to one thing: being used by men as a sex object, which means being dehumanised on a regular basis.

[thatoneidot]

Go kys your gross your a sociopath you have broke the law your disgusting

⚠️Trigger warning: talk about aspd because anon is a sick fuck that is sadly my so called “family” ‼️

Only posting this because you keep sending these to me but this one is sad honestly you have no right to throw up my diagnoses in my face because I have been through unspeakable shit and I have developed aspd as a fucking coping mechanism but all because I have that does not make me a bad person and I have grew to learn and try to care for others at the beginning of my diagnoses I might have said things and done things I should have not but it was mostly harming my own self I was freshly 18 and getting aspd dropped on me like a fucking nuclear bomb and I know who you are that keeps on sending these to me you better fucking stop it because you can ask anyone I fucking know I have grew from when I was freshly diagnosed.

Having a personality disorder or any mental illness in this case does not make you a bad person you choose your fucking words and actions everyday and I fight my own thoughts every single day and I don’t act as impulsive as I did when I was young. Honestly I hate how demonetized Cluster B personalities are because most people with them has been put through the worst shit ever and their brain has developed them to survive.

[jellvisk]

Chronic pain sucks, but I think something people don't talk about is how chronic pain also give you mental illnesses/worsen already existing ones, such as depression.

I fight everyday to not thrive, but simply to survive. That's not good enough, though, for the pain tears down my psyche and willpower day by day. My depression gets worse, and on days I'm feeling less depressed, my chronic pain will remind me it exists, tear apart my dreams for the day, and pull me back into that familiar pit.

Instead of just apathy, it has to also be pain.

Depressed and hurt, now at the bottom of the sea, how much worse could it get? I can barely focus on anything, let alone start any task because of my ADHD/executive dysfunction. Perhaps it would be easier to start tasks if I wasn't punished with literal pain for doing so; the illnesses all stacks ontop of eachother like some fucked up Binding of Isaac build.

Now I'm rewarded for doing giving in to my ADHD and doing literally nothing: because there will be less pain.

So I'm paralyzed: surely it couldn't get worse. But then I realize all of this is invisible. All of it, including my pain. So now that simple fact adds to the fuel to the flames that is my self hatred, because not even I will believe I am struggling if it can't be seen with my own two eyes. "I should just be stronger, I shouldn't be so lazy; my pain can't be that bad, there's no blood!"

Now here I am, chained by spikes, self loathing under the pressure of the murky ocean.

I try to reach my dreams, but then they're shot down by illness and then I'm punished.

I try to cope, so maybe I can fight my mental illnesses. Oops! If I cope, my body chooses violence!

This post has been mostly a personal ramble. All things aside, whatever you're facing, keep fighting.

[pondhue]

honestly having a hard time trying to justify watching s8. we beat rick prime. imitation voice actors just feel Wrong to my autistic ass (tho i support them firing JR obviously). what do we hope for? more Diane backstory that will make her being dead/gone across the multiverse all the more painful? the birdperson child? am i a poser that "classic adventures" aren't enough for me?

edit: sorry in advance that this response is kind of long. i'm gonna be tagging it as #long text and #longtext for easy muting aaahhhh

anon your concerns are super valid. like, if you find yourself having a hard time, there's no harm in taking a step back and waiting to see what happens before giving it a chance. and if you still can't justify it for whatever reason, that's fine too. considering what Rick and Morty is and what it has become, it's completely understandable. i don't think you're a poser for feeling the way you do. i personally prefer that they steer from that too, and/or if they chose to still explore that route even now, i hope it's in a way where they deconstruct the formula rather than uphold it. Rick and Morty is the type of show where it challenges the viewer, but it also has the potential, i'd like to think, to challenge the people working on the show themselves (even more-so than it already has from what i've read/watched/heard). there's no harm in having expectations and going "i've had enough of this thing, i want something new". personally, i just see it as you being critical of media you consume and enjoy, which i don't think should ever be seen as a bad thing. if anything i think it should be practiced more (within reason of course). and i've also been asking the same questions to myself. i also have no clue what to hope for either, and after ruminating on it, i'm simply trying to embrace that maybe there's nothing to justify in terms of choosing to watch it or not. again, you could either wait until it comes out and give it a chance, or not! i'm choosing view s8 as all of us literally "sitting in the back seat of the ship" and being along for the ride, embracing the chaos. that's how it felt for me in the second half of season 7. it felt as if they were considering viewers who genuinely LOVE the show and just want it to get better (which could be cope on my part!! idk!!!) i think with how s6 went and especially with how s7 ended, i'd be more surprised if they went back to the classic formula (pre, like, season 5) after EVERYTHING that's happened thus far. not to mention that they're locked in with adult swim for like, many more seasons so i'm sure the concerns you're expressing here are definitely something they've considered and are likely now even more-so with the traction the show has been getting again. i truly want to believe that the minds behind R&M do not want to let themselves or the show itself grow complacent (again, could be cope and me just being really mentally ill about this show). sorry if this is incoherent/rambly/not what you were expecting when sending this ask. you really made me think more about all this though and i hope this answer suffices!

[ikamigami]

Although I see your point about how the show's titles make Moon seem, Moon is pretty mentally ill imo?

Like, not in the """scary dangerous moment 😱""" way that the show may not realize they're perpetuating, but I think Moon had just actually been recovering for a while. Not like, in the "everything is peaceful so now I can chill out" way, but in the "I'm managing my symptoms and I'm in the path to getting better" way.

It just seems that now, all the symptoms are resurfacing because of the constant overworking, grief that isn't being coped with healthily, and of course the nonstop stress. It's all leading to a huge breakdown, but the way the show is choosing to describe it is... less than ideal, I think.

Yeah, I get it. And I agree with you, dear anon.

I just wish that show treated Sun as seriously as they're treating Moon..

Am I asking for too much?

Many people think so.. including the writers it seems..

Though I don't think that Moon has any other mental issues beside depression and paranoid thoughts.. it's a lot already.. and with stress and grieve it's understandable that Moon is acting the way he is.. but it annoys me a bit.. like I said because of these double standards for main characters..

Also Moon had a mental breakdown already.. I know he can have another one.. but I think that some characters could've handle things with Moon better - mainly Earth and Monty.. I'm glad that Eclipse at least tries to help and that Sun seems to suspect something is up with Moon..

I know that Sun is probably also in the category "I'm managing my symptoms and I'm in the path to get better" but it's a bummer that they just push Sun aside so much and that we never heard from him about his trauma and other stuff..

Hope you don't mind a bit of a rant from me, dear anon ^^