#it’s so weird because i don’t feel like that irl
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Yeah that discourse is kind of silly. I feel like people are always finding reasons to hate on Trey for some reason lol. Leona and Idia’s comments shouldn’t be taken at face value as they aren’t actually in heartslabyul and they don’t know the full context of the character dynamics going on in there. Sure Trey and Cater had dreams where Riddle wasn’t in power but that doesn’t necessarily mean they want to overthrow him irl. Both of them are probably feeling pretty suffocated by the rules and want a bit more freedom, but they know that Riddle is trying. They also both want Riddle to be happy considering that Trey has the Riddle blob thing that is super goofy and weird but it represents how Trey wants Riddle to let himself have fun and you know, actually eat properly. And Cater’s dream has DJ Riddle. The heartslabyul gang does care about each other, they just also realize that Riddle is far from a perfect leader and that Riddle is unhappy in his position. They all want what’s best for each other. Just because they were dreaming about Riddle not being in power doesn’t mean they have shady plans to overthrow him. I don’t have Riddle’s dream translations yet but from what I can tell he’s not in power in his own dream either. Of course someone like Leona would assume stuff though because his whole thing is how much he wants to be in power so of course he’d be suspicious of that kind of thing, but that doesn’t mean that the game is confirming that Trey and Cater are somehow master puppeteers. Also this is Riddle we’re talking about, even if they wanted to, no one can control that guy.
(Book 7 spoilers) I just watched Trey’s dream. This is incredible. The orbs are on the level of buff Epel and that is an achievement. Also their voices are cracking me up it has the same vibes as Floyd in that one part of book 4 when he got the deep voice. Actually though, I like how it does show that he wants the dorm members to be happy and also that he is a weirdo in the best possible way. I love how Cater is like hm this is the first time I’ve thought of Trey as a weird guy… The first time?! Cater I know he tries to act like a normie but the guy has absolutely slipped multiple times. Trey is silly and we love him for that. I feel so bad for Trey in some of the parts of the dream though, like his friend’s mom screamed at him for 5 hours and then when he finally met said friend again years later he just ignored him like nothing happened. I get why Riddle would do that but still that must have been so awkward. Also though even though it was a serious scene it was so funny when they did the flashback and said Riddle avoided him and then Riddle’s png just slides across the screen, I dunno I thought it looked really funny for some reason. And then the way this shows how Trey doesn’t view the others as like I dunno able to look after themselves in a way, like they’re these silly orb people because Trey thinks that if he were to stop keeping the dorm running smoothly it would just self destruct because he doesn’t think that the others can manage themselves. And I mean in some ways he’s right lol I mean have you seen the people in heartslabyul I mean they’re based off of Alice in Wonderland characters, do you expect them to be sane? Still, Trey is holding up Heartslabyul on his back he deserves more credit for that. Trey is underrated, this is one of if not my favorite dream we’ve seen so far.
#twisted wonderland#book 7 twst#trey clover#heartslabyul#riddle rosehearts#twst fandom#twst wonderland#book 7 spoilers#twst#twst jp
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WAT DO U MEEEAN “unfortunately” THIS IS A MASSIVE RELIEF
#startin to think about trying this again… due to the severe anxiety online i always make one then abandon or delete it#:(#it feels so bad#99% of the anxiety comes from my feeling Not Enough when trying to talk#it’s so weird because i don’t feel like that irl#oh well i’ve been kinda getting better at talking online#some of u have helped with that :)))
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You keep complaining about abuse and abusive relationships but you're crushing on Dabi, an abusive man who KILLS innocent people and you're defending Rei Todoroki, a women who abuses her OWN CHILDREN. Shoto's scar is the result of Rei's abuse. Dabi's scar and being in a coma for 3 years is the result of Rei's neglect which is also abuse. Also you're siding with the LOV who are all abusive and have also killed people and committed many crimes all of which are abusive. You're clearly a fucking hypocrite and is brain dead. You're actions clearly show that you are abusive.
“Your actions shows that you’re clearly abusive”, because I like Dabi… BRUH— You like Endeavor, doesn’t that make you a rapist if we go by your “logic”? 🤭
#— ❥ kelanswers;#answered#anonymous 😂#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#bnha#mha#dabi#touya todoroki#tw: rape#aizawa don’t look#as i said… y’all come here to me while liking endeavor but draw the line at the peoples who likes his victims???#very weird behavior but i hope you guys heal soon nonetheless 🫶🏻💜#because to go around an HARASSING writers who write about villains you must be really sad peoples… i feel so sorry for you guys actually…#i’m sorry irl you were hurt THAT much you now project on others on a social media… that must be… ehm… rough i guess…
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I need to be put in a waffle iron or something
#i am. really stressed!!#i hate being online i keep losing friends#Majority of them did shitty stuff to me and it makes me so sad#I already have trust problems so when people come and say theyll always be here for me and then the next thing i know im blocked because i#Expressed my discomfort about something shitty they did it makes those trust issues even worse#We were pretty close and now i regret telling him shit because he could use it against me#And im starting to fall out with my “best friend” irl. Everything is making me sick#I can’t do this anymore I really want to disappear#There has to be something about me so repulsive to people#That i just turn them away#its gonna be like that for the rest of my life isnt it? I probably wont even get a partner in the future#I just don’t know why I fuck up every friendship so bad even if it wasnt. My fault#I shouldve kept my mouth shut even if i was uncomfortable#my last friendships ended like this too#I caused a huge server fight by saying I was uncomfy and I’m pretty sure everyone hates me now because of it#even though some said they werent#I am just really lonely and feel like a piece of shit#Because I am one#I don’t really know if I want to keep being here anymore#I genuinely think nobody likes me#Even when I was in school nobody liked me#I was the “weird girl”#I just wish I was normal and likeable and then maybe I’d have friends irl#I don’t know what’s wrong with me and I’ve considered suicide over it multiple times#I ruin everything#My friendships. My life. My parents marriage. My art. Everything.#I doubt anyone will read this or gaf so just. ignore me
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sometimes I get worried I’m like. faking being trans. n then I realized I probably wouldn’t be crying over people not seeing me as a guy if I was faking it
#it actually kills me#”but you dress so feminine”#I HAVE TO#i cant LIVE THE WAY I WANT TO#I want to pass so badly I don’t want to live this anymore#I want queer people irl not judge me when I say I am trans#i will never forget when two gay guys in my class told me I was just a cis girl who liked gay men#I can’t do this any longer I pretend like it doesn’t bother me like I can keep going but I can’t#I just fucking can’t#trans people irl LOOK AT ME WEIRD WHEN I SAY IM A GUY#I just#Idk#it hurts#it feels like my own community doesn’t even like me because of things I can’t control#anyways if u read this I’m sorry for yapping#Sorry for doing it a lot in general
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Hmmnbmmmmmm. I have some things to say
#I am in. a bit of a weird position rn?#ik there are plenty of self shippers who have partners irl I just. I don’t really? get it??#like I feel very guilty about it?#or like. now that I have a bf should I stop???#self shipping has always been a big comfort for me but obviously I am putting a lot more energy into my actual relationship#but like. do I still make art? do I still write fics? is that disrespectful to him? idk#he has characters he has crushes on too but it’s different because he doesn’t have an entire blog dedicated to how much he loves them#idk I just don’t rlly know how to balance the two?#is it normal to fantasize about being in a relationship with a fictional character when you actually have a partner?????#I was never really expecting to date again so this isn’t something I’ve thought a lot about#idk#♡.bullet proof heart
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T shirt that says I still have social issues and trauma from things that happened over a decade ago
#captain’s log#I am getting back in to therapy to process things dw#I just find myself in these spaces and spiraling#because of how much I want to be friends with people or want people to like me#to think I’m fine and normal even or worthwhile but that feeling of wanting to be friends or needing to somehow#in the nebulous space of interaction irl or social media try to cut through and#communicate my personality my worth and my desire for friendship all while risking rejecting#rejection* feels impossible and is within itself very triggering#especially because I get stuck in these spaces of always feeling stupid ugly and like an 11 year old kid who doesn’t understand#but just feels like somethings WRONG with them and keeps saying the wrong things when he tries to make people like him#and that assumed wrongness which begates assumed rejection only makes the spiral worse#hi I will be okay I am fine I am just like. struggling and wanting to not feel weird or stupid or annoying#my last two work environments have been incredibly unprofessional and toxic which I think has triggered all of this#several people I worked with in both places have compared it to high school so I think there’s that#also I’ve made some fantastic and really cool new friends and I feel so frightened of rejection and so unworthy of friendship#also if I ever don’t respond to people it is because I panic and shutdown! haha sorry about that#I’m starting EDMR again this fall so hopefully I will see a turn around#I also think my anti-depressants have stopped working. also thinking about taking my psych up on the referral for Ketemine#anyway sorry I’ll be fine I’m going to wake Will up now so I’m not alone jdkdkskssksksks also eat something
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does anyone know where/if i land on the whole “romance averse -> indifferent -> favorable” thing if i really enjoy fictional romance but any real person being involved, not just me, makes me feel uncomfortable. like is that a thing or is that just me being miserable
#like it’s the thing where.#like. i feel bad but one of my irl friends talks about her boyfriend a lot and every time im like oh my god can we PLEASEEE NOT#or like. what’s making me ask is realizing that it’s like#that exact feeling is what also makes me feel viscerally uncomfortable w x readers or self ship stuff#and i feel bad because obviously there’s nothing wrong with them you can do whatever you want forever etc#but it just. ughhhh makes me feel so weird#like it’s almost like a. ‘you guys actually want this? you wouldn’t feel trapped and miserable?’ feeling#but idk. i think because i don’t feel this way about romance as a concept just with irl stuff that it’s probably just. idk#me being miserable about other people being happy or some shit#txt
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Conventional nightmares are scary but I think it’s the unrealistic ones that are the most scary
#the conventional ones I have are ones where people try to kill me or I kill people or do other bad things to them#or other bad things happen to me that could happen irl. but euhgh#I had such a weird nightmare#I WSS like ? on a weird ship thing with extended and being gay was like. not allowed but. I was gay anyways#and I hid it pretty well until like. suddenly at a huge fancy family dinner like? I was hashtag exposed and I tried to be like no please noo#but they were like TO THE HELL DIMENSION WITH YOU!!!! and I got sent to … s dark room with a stage and.. prom decorations?#there were other people and stuff and people onstage preforming the same thing over and over but I sat in the back bc I was pissed#also I was a borzoi. important detail😭 I remeber it because I always had to swish my tail off the chairs so I didn’t sit on it#anyways I was pissed as fuck. hal was there (the person not the character) and I was maaaaaad and it for some reason and I feel kinda bad#glitch was telling me yea ur in hell with (PEOPLE WHO DID REALLY HORRIBLE AWFUL THINGS. like. really bad.) and I was like awesome. kys#and it was like OK. don’t be like that let’s go sit at the chairs up high by the stage. and we sat on the same chair all squished 😭#everyone also had a small pack of plastic dinosaur beads that are. identical to ones that I have. and he talked to me as I fiddled with them#I was reallyyy scared because there were fucking. really dangerous people also apparently I was supposed to rot here forever.eventually hal-#-got up to strech and so did I and I sat back down ready for him to sit with me and he was like no. and I was like :? and it was like. the#the house. then glitch pointed to a small plastic house in the room like the ones for kids to play with outside and I was like oh :(#cos I thought he was leaving me and I got really sad because he was like. the only#good thing there. but it was like no. come#and I didn’t hear and I kept moping and he was like COME WITH. and I was like omg it’s talking to me. YAYYY!!!#I got up wirh my borozi paws to go follow glitch into the house then I woke up because someone called me just now😭���😭#and I’m not gonna sleep again. it’s nearly 2pm. woof.#anyways that was horrible it was worse than the time I had a dream I killed someone and was a wsnted fugitive#I think hal was there cos I was thinking abt him right before I EME went to sleep and when I think of ppl before I sleep they often are in-#-my dreams#ok I need to get up and do stuff now. auhh#hollowspeak
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why’s it so embarrassing when u start catching feelings for someone aaaaaahhhhhh
#he’s simply a Silly Goofy Guy#not beating the Goofy Bi Guy stereotype lol#I do feel quite silly waitin for his ig notifs since he started dming me tho#unfortunately I do be Experiencing Feelings 😔#but also fun vibes cause it’s been awhile since I Started Talking To someone irl (like not including dating app chats)#not that we’re Talking™. idk if we are. idk. social interactions are confusing lol#maybe we are maybe not ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#we messaged a bit yesterday when he messaged first#then today I sent him a meme & we’ve been messaging for awhile#he’s working on a play & we we’re chatting before the show started & I thought that might’ve been it#but he messaged again after it finished & we’ve been talking a lil while now too :)#he’s rly friendly tho & we were kinda just becoming friends so it could well be just Next Stage Of Friendship#cause it’s not like either of us have said anything flirty or anything. just talkin & joking#plus he’s a few years younger than me- not in a creepy way. both legal adults in college-#I just usually have a weird thing with age gaps over like 2 years because of a personal negative experience#so it would just make me feel better if I don’t initiate anything first#I’ll let him do that if he wants to & then ask if he had any thoughts about the bit of age difference#if anything were to get that far. who’s to say. he’s a v chill platonic friend too if that’s where things go :)#need more funny goofy friends in my life :)#ok I’m done lmao#shroomie rambles#shroomie long tags
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(I have no idea if this will make sense—sorry I’ve had some wine this evening and so I’m rambling)
I think this is a “popular” opinion but not widespread—people need to understand that there is so much nuance to reading. Obviously there’s the “you can like things I don’t like” and vice versa, but also in HOW people enjoy things. Like take Fourth Wing (I know I know), but while I also agree with a lot of the complaints, I still was just like “that was a fun time, I totally ignored all the sex scenes bc I hate how they were written, but I was vibing the whole time.” And I feel like some people would still respond to my opinion like “okay but it was so horrible how did you even enjoy it at all??? Lame”
Like okay Betty, I love high fantasy as much as you, but sometimes I want something that just fucks, okay?
(and not to say you aren’t allowed to not like things, but there seems to be a fine line between “hey! I didn’t like this but that’s okay” and “I hated this and I CANNOT comprehend why ANYONE could find even an inkling of fun from this + I’m going to subtly implicate that I think people who like this are stupid”) (obviously not for books that are objectively hurtful or offensive)
And of course you can go so many different ways than just that example, but it’s a mix of gate-keeping, prejudice, lack of empathy, and a bit of a superiority complex that makes it so hard for the reading community to really be united.
#you are SO right i’m glad you’re saying it#the superiority thing is so truly genuinely unbelievably exhausting but it’s how some people get through the day so idk idc#but yeah i’ve had irls scoff and laugh at my bookshelf and i’m like dude. i’m 24 years old ok like#i don’t need to play weird childish games about who’s better for reading what#i like it and it’s bad vs. it’s good and not for me vs. i don’t like it and i think it’s bad vs. it’s good and i love it? all valid!!#all real!!! and where a book falls on that axis will be different for every single person!!#i read a good amount of literary fiction and as an amateur writer i usually like it because it’s so fun to read invested writing like that#but ALSO! i usually have a lot more FUN reading a romance novel or a silly fantasy series#and i read primarily for entertainment and not for educational value. and that’s okay!#it’s so bizarre because you don’t see people scoffing when someone watches the walking dead instead of a documentary or like the letter M#but as soon as someone reads for entertainment above anything else it’s a waste of time and they’re stupid.#this feels entirely unrelated to your ask but i’ve wanted to talk about it for too long#and IVE HAD WINE TOO#i agree w you wholeheartedly though and i’m glad you sent this#anon#asked and answered#hot takes
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I can’t believe I have to say this but performatively tagging me and thanking me for participating in a fandom when you don’t follow me, don’t talk to me, and haven’t ever once interacted with any of my posts (not even in the fandom you thanked me for participating in) is a good way to get yourself blocked.
I make posts for myself, not to be thanked for participating. If you’re grateful that I made the posts, I’m glad! A lot of people have thanked me for many of my posts for many shows. I don’t have a problem with it. But feel free to tell me on the posts. Or don’t tell me and just like or reblog. But creating your own post, tagging me, and thanking me feels hollow when you haven’t done any of that on my posts.
I don’t mind being tagged in posts. I even like it! But please don’t just do it because you think you have to because I was one of the many many many blogs writing about a show and you’ve seen others tag me. Please tag me because you want me to see something. It feels like you’re tagging me to boost followers and if you knew anything about me, you’d know that I am not the person for that.
I don’t like blocking people, but this shit makes me so uncomfortable that I need to start blocking in order to remain on tumblr.
#rae irl#this is just so fucking weird to me#I can’t imagine going around and thanking people for participating in fandom the way people keep thanking me#I participate for me and no one else#if you’re worried that I might block you cause you tagged me in something lately don’t worry#if you haven’t been blocked then I’m most likely not going to block you but if you’re seriously concerned feel free to reach out#and if you’re thinking of tagging me but scared doing so will get you blocked again you can reach out#or if you’d rather just not tag me because you’re not sure that’s fine too I don’t need to be tagged#I do enjoy it most of the time but it’s never necessary#and I have plenty of mutuals who will#likely tag me if they see it and think I should be tagged#I think my rant is done#wait no there’s more#I don’t know what’s going on right now but if you want to build a following that’s fine you do you#but I cannot stress enough how much I do not want to be a part of that#people that actually follow me or know me or have talked to me at all know that’s not something I want#so please for the love of god leave me out of it
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Anyway. My last post for some reason did t post so I’m gonna post it again and rewrite (lmao it was just like ‘summer whump here we Go’ and me going off in the tags) anyway I won’t even bother to proofread this have fun <333
SUMMER WHUMPE NYOOM
- Sunburns
- Heat exhaustion
- Heatstroke
- Sunstroke (which I believe to know is something different from heatstroke and heat exhaustion)
- Whumpee going swimming and severely underestimating the freezing temperatures of the lake despite the otherwise high temperatures
- Going swimming in a lake or otherwise unclean water with wounds which causes them to get infected
- Headaches from dehydration/sun
- Light sensitive Whumpees <3
- Stepping into something underwater
- Falling onto something underwater
- Falling into the water and onto something like the ground or whatever because they couldn’t see it coming because of. the water
- Sudden temperature drops after sunset, which leave Whumpee freezing because it was so warm earlier, they didn’t bother to bring a jacket
- getting pushed falling off a boat
- bugs. need I say more
- (to the point above. Just imagine whumpee who’s scared of bugs, or getting bitten by something that makes them sick or something, or just the plain discomfort of having 74572959220 mosquito bites)
- Whumpee falling asleep in the sun. A classic
- Falling off a tree they were trying to climb
- I also noted down train whump
- Because. Trains can be ultra packed here when holidays start. So imagine claustrophobic whumpee in a horribly packed train <3
- Or simply an overheating train because the AC failed
- generally being stuck in a train and no one knows why or when or if they will keep going
- allergies. Another classic
- scar reveals because it’s too hot for long clothes <3
#whump#whump prompt#Summer whump#sun whump#vacation whump#whumpee#no what do you mean. I’m not projecting#I am most definitely not very miserable Right now because I was out in the sun too long without realizing it#oh my god I think my head wants to murder me#sunburn let’s gooo#everything. hurts#I don’t feel like it’s sunstroke or any of the others because everything is weird#bro I looked in the mirror and I look literally white like a sheet of paper like what#I think I’m done with vacationing. genuinely#I figured It couldnt hurt so I decided to go camping for just one night#by myself#end of the story I’m currently very uncomfortable in my tent I want to sleep but everything ouch 👍#grrrrrrrrr#irl whump#I keep hearing things on the outside of my tent
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.
#huh#so that’s that#ripped off like the most painful bandaid that didn’t come off right the first time#if you know me irl don’t say anything but I need to put it into the ether because it doesn’t feel real#but I’m single again#it’s weird#but I feel like a weight is gone#it sucks though
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does anyone actually feel guilty for being queer or is that just me
#vent ignore this#but like#I don’t even know what would’ve been worse me getting like openly discriminated for it or this#Like my whole life I’ve felt so weird about it especially when I meet other people who talk about their “gay phase”#Like what is a gay phase guys I’m trans and bi what are you saying about me#Especially because I think I chase people away when I tell them I’m trans#I used to make this a huge joke but I’m pretty sure the nickname I’ve used for ages started out as a joke on my name when I came out to one#Of my irls. um!#and it’s not like I’ve never faced blatant transphobia or homophobia ever it’s just that this feels inherently worse#this is kind of stupid remind me to delete ts later
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Crazy how after all these years my love of fanfiction, specifically my interest in writing it, is so tender. Not writing in general - I write original fiction, I journal, no problem. But it’s like I can’t write fanfiction for myself. When I got my start writing it, it made it easier to say “I’m writing this for x person.” And every time I perceive I don’t know anyone who wants to read anything, or I’m not receiving enough of a response online, or that my friends are busy, I can’t do it.
Which is so annoying! I’ve been doing this for years! I enjoy writing it when I do it, but it’s like I still have to convince myself, every time, that writing fanfiction is okay and not childish and not cringy. I don’t know why my brain is like this - I wish I could just enjoy writing fic for me and no one else.
#Writing#fanfiction#i can’t even point to anything in my life#That gave me this weird attitude to fic#I WANT TO WRITE#but I just don’t have the motivation#And it sucks because I have so many wips#It feels like it’s been months since I posted anything#But I do realize there are also irl family things going on in my life#Idk it’s just frustrating
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