#it’s so weird because i don’t feel like that irl
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can’t believe i have to post this on tumblr because my stupid tiktok is banned but unfortunately i love hanna so she gets it anyway
Hai hanna sorry i have to post this here but i gotta give you your very big paragraph because i haven’t done one in a while and ive been a weird friend recently and i love you and you deserve everything and the world and also even more than that so😑🍰
hey i LOVE YOU so much idk how you’ve put up with my annoyingness and sexual comments for four months but i applaud you for it because u my fav online friend i ever had.. honestly idgaf if ur online ur one of my best friends in the ever because i adore you
if i don’t meet you atleast once in the ever then that’s illegal because i know we would be the most best and funniest people ever irl and then we can finally be gfs like we were destined to be.. and im not even joking i want u
like so bad
u are so kind and so talented and whenever u are sad it makes me sad because ur genuinely a wonderful person like you’ve only been good to me ever you listen to me and u actually talk to me and u make me feel LOVED 💖
like when we first became friends and you’d get excited when i messaged you and when you tell me you miss me or love me or when u post about me or when you do anything that shows you appreciate me it makes me so so happy because like. i love you and knowing that you love me also is the best in the ever
i was actually so upset when you didn’t get alessi tickets because honestly i wanted to meet you more than i wanted to go to the concert and the fact that soon we’re gonna be like not that far away from eachother and not get to see eachother makes me so SAD
if we ever met i’d give u the biggest hug ever trust
i love it when u listen to songs i like because it makes me feel locked in and i love when u message me or send me voice notes and i love when you do things that are so you and i love when you make jokes about me being a bottom because it’s lowkey true so just come over
anyway four months is insane and i love you so much forever even if we stop being friends
happy maddiehanna day baby i love u 🐈🐈⬛🍎🍏👩❤️💋👩
@chappellapplee
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WAT DO U MEEEAN “unfortunately” THIS IS A MASSIVE RELIEF
#startin to think about trying this again… due to the severe anxiety online i always make one then abandon or delete it#:(#it feels so bad#99% of the anxiety comes from my feeling Not Enough when trying to talk#it’s so weird because i don’t feel like that irl#oh well i’ve been kinda getting better at talking online#some of u have helped with that :)))
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thinking about Jevin and xB and how they both bully Hypno, and, in the context of ships, interpreting it kinda as… Jevin is mean to Hypno because he has romantic feelings for him, kinda like the stereotype of “he’s bullying you because he likes you and has a crush on you” in school children. Meanwhile, xB is mean to Hypno because it’s funny, and any romantic feelings he has are purely coincidental. Is this making sense
#posts inspired by in jevin’s episode: etho suggesting something smart and jevin accidentally going “wow hypno’s so smart” LOL#technically because hypno was in his chat at the same time. BUT. i think its funnier if c!jevin just assumes anything cool is hypno’s doing#a subconscious bias that goes into everything. saying “ugh hypno smells” but secretly believing hypno is handsome smart funny etc#also: don’t get me wrong i think hypno and xb bullying each other is a way of displaying affection for them. but it isn’t xb#trying to respond to his own internal feelings. hypno is just bulliable#on a serious note the “he bullies you because he likes you” concept annoys me a lot irl as an autistic person who was bullied#i think people just bullied me because I was the nearest “weird” kid and they were unhappy with their lives so wanted some control#BUT in fiction + where its more of a mutual teasing where nobody is too upset. love that trope#hermitshipping#hermitshipblr#hypnotizd#xbcrafted#ijevin#jevno#hypxb#hhf#these aren’t the only hypno ships i have but they’re the two most common for him and the ones that fit the point i was trying to make
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You keep complaining about abuse and abusive relationships but you're crushing on Dabi, an abusive man who KILLS innocent people and you're defending Rei Todoroki, a women who abuses her OWN CHILDREN. Shoto's scar is the result of Rei's abuse. Dabi's scar and being in a coma for 3 years is the result of Rei's neglect which is also abuse. Also you're siding with the LOV who are all abusive and have also killed people and committed many crimes all of which are abusive. You're clearly a fucking hypocrite and is brain dead. You're actions clearly show that you are abusive.
“Your actions shows that you’re clearly abusive”, because I like Dabi… BRUH— You like Endeavor, doesn’t that make you a rapist if we go by your “logic”? 🤭
#— ❥ kelanswers;#answered#anonymous 😂#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#bnha#mha#dabi#touya todoroki#tw: rape#aizawa don’t look#as i said… y’all come here to me while liking endeavor but draw the line at the peoples who likes his victims???#very weird behavior but i hope you guys heal soon nonetheless 🫶🏻💜#because to go around an HARASSING writers who write about villains you must be really sad peoples… i feel so sorry for you guys actually…#i’m sorry irl you were hurt THAT much you now project on others on a social media… that must be… ehm… rough i guess…
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I need to be put in a waffle iron or something
#i am. really stressed!!#i hate being online i keep losing friends#Majority of them did shitty stuff to me and it makes me so sad#I already have trust problems so when people come and say theyll always be here for me and then the next thing i know im blocked because i#Expressed my discomfort about something shitty they did it makes those trust issues even worse#We were pretty close and now i regret telling him shit because he could use it against me#And im starting to fall out with my “best friend” irl. Everything is making me sick#I can’t do this anymore I really want to disappear#There has to be something about me so repulsive to people#That i just turn them away#its gonna be like that for the rest of my life isnt it? I probably wont even get a partner in the future#I just don’t know why I fuck up every friendship so bad even if it wasnt. My fault#I shouldve kept my mouth shut even if i was uncomfortable#my last friendships ended like this too#I caused a huge server fight by saying I was uncomfy and I’m pretty sure everyone hates me now because of it#even though some said they werent#I am just really lonely and feel like a piece of shit#Because I am one#I don’t really know if I want to keep being here anymore#I genuinely think nobody likes me#Even when I was in school nobody liked me#I was the “weird girl”#I just wish I was normal and likeable and then maybe I’d have friends irl#I don’t know what’s wrong with me and I’ve considered suicide over it multiple times#I ruin everything#My friendships. My life. My parents marriage. My art. Everything.#I doubt anyone will read this or gaf so just. ignore me
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sometimes I get worried I’m like. faking being trans. n then I realized I probably wouldn’t be crying over people not seeing me as a guy if I was faking it
#it actually kills me#”but you dress so feminine”#I HAVE TO#i cant LIVE THE WAY I WANT TO#I want to pass so badly I don’t want to live this anymore#I want queer people irl not judge me when I say I am trans#i will never forget when two gay guys in my class told me I was just a cis girl who liked gay men#I can’t do this any longer I pretend like it doesn’t bother me like I can keep going but I can’t#I just fucking can’t#trans people irl LOOK AT ME WEIRD WHEN I SAY IM A GUY#I just#Idk#it hurts#it feels like my own community doesn’t even like me because of things I can’t control#anyways if u read this I’m sorry for yapping#Sorry for doing it a lot in general
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Hmmnbmmmmmm. I have some things to say
#I am in. a bit of a weird position rn?#ik there are plenty of self shippers who have partners irl I just. I don’t really? get it??#like I feel very guilty about it?#or like. now that I have a bf should I stop???#self shipping has always been a big comfort for me but obviously I am putting a lot more energy into my actual relationship#but like. do I still make art? do I still write fics? is that disrespectful to him? idk#he has characters he has crushes on too but it’s different because he doesn’t have an entire blog dedicated to how much he loves them#idk I just don’t rlly know how to balance the two?#is it normal to fantasize about being in a relationship with a fictional character when you actually have a partner?????#I was never really expecting to date again so this isn’t something I’ve thought a lot about#idk#♡.bullet proof heart
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T shirt that says I still have social issues and trauma from things that happened over a decade ago
#captain’s log#I am getting back in to therapy to process things dw#I just find myself in these spaces and spiraling#because of how much I want to be friends with people or want people to like me#to think I’m fine and normal even or worthwhile but that feeling of wanting to be friends or needing to somehow#in the nebulous space of interaction irl or social media try to cut through and#communicate my personality my worth and my desire for friendship all while risking rejecting#rejection* feels impossible and is within itself very triggering#especially because I get stuck in these spaces of always feeling stupid ugly and like an 11 year old kid who doesn’t understand#but just feels like somethings WRONG with them and keeps saying the wrong things when he tries to make people like him#and that assumed wrongness which begates assumed rejection only makes the spiral worse#hi I will be okay I am fine I am just like. struggling and wanting to not feel weird or stupid or annoying#my last two work environments have been incredibly unprofessional and toxic which I think has triggered all of this#several people I worked with in both places have compared it to high school so I think there’s that#also I’ve made some fantastic and really cool new friends and I feel so frightened of rejection and so unworthy of friendship#also if I ever don’t respond to people it is because I panic and shutdown! haha sorry about that#I’m starting EDMR again this fall so hopefully I will see a turn around#I also think my anti-depressants have stopped working. also thinking about taking my psych up on the referral for Ketemine#anyway sorry I’ll be fine I’m going to wake Will up now so I’m not alone jdkdkskssksksks also eat something
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does anyone know where/if i land on the whole “romance averse -> indifferent -> favorable” thing if i really enjoy fictional romance but any real person being involved, not just me, makes me feel uncomfortable. like is that a thing or is that just me being miserable
#like it’s the thing where.#like. i feel bad but one of my irl friends talks about her boyfriend a lot and every time im like oh my god can we PLEASEEE NOT#or like. what’s making me ask is realizing that it’s like#that exact feeling is what also makes me feel viscerally uncomfortable w x readers or self ship stuff#and i feel bad because obviously there’s nothing wrong with them you can do whatever you want forever etc#but it just. ughhhh makes me feel so weird#like it’s almost like a. ‘you guys actually want this? you wouldn’t feel trapped and miserable?’ feeling#but idk. i think because i don’t feel this way about romance as a concept just with irl stuff that it’s probably just. idk#me being miserable about other people being happy or some shit#txt
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Conventional nightmares are scary but I think it’s the unrealistic ones that are the most scary
#the conventional ones I have are ones where people try to kill me or I kill people or do other bad things to them#or other bad things happen to me that could happen irl. but euhgh#I had such a weird nightmare#I WSS like ? on a weird ship thing with extended and being gay was like. not allowed but. I was gay anyways#and I hid it pretty well until like. suddenly at a huge fancy family dinner like? I was hashtag exposed and I tried to be like no please noo#but they were like TO THE HELL DIMENSION WITH YOU!!!! and I got sent to … s dark room with a stage and.. prom decorations?#there were other people and stuff and people onstage preforming the same thing over and over but I sat in the back bc I was pissed#also I was a borzoi. important detail😭 I remeber it because I always had to swish my tail off the chairs so I didn’t sit on it#anyways I was pissed as fuck. hal was there (the person not the character) and I was maaaaaad and it for some reason and I feel kinda bad#glitch was telling me yea ur in hell with (PEOPLE WHO DID REALLY HORRIBLE AWFUL THINGS. like. really bad.) and I was like awesome. kys#and it was like OK. don’t be like that let’s go sit at the chairs up high by the stage. and we sat on the same chair all squished 😭#everyone also had a small pack of plastic dinosaur beads that are. identical to ones that I have. and he talked to me as I fiddled with them#I was reallyyy scared because there were fucking. really dangerous people also apparently I was supposed to rot here forever.eventually hal-#-got up to strech and so did I and I sat back down ready for him to sit with me and he was like no. and I was like :? and it was like. the#the house. then glitch pointed to a small plastic house in the room like the ones for kids to play with outside and I was like oh :(#cos I thought he was leaving me and I got really sad because he was like. the only#good thing there. but it was like no. come#and I didn’t hear and I kept moping and he was like COME WITH. and I was like omg it’s talking to me. YAYYY!!!#I got up wirh my borozi paws to go follow glitch into the house then I woke up because someone called me just now😭😭😭#and I’m not gonna sleep again. it’s nearly 2pm. woof.#anyways that was horrible it was worse than the time I had a dream I killed someone and was a wsnted fugitive#I think hal was there cos I was thinking abt him right before I EME went to sleep and when I think of ppl before I sleep they often are in-#-my dreams#ok I need to get up and do stuff now. auhh#hollowspeak
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why’s it so embarrassing when u start catching feelings for someone aaaaaahhhhhh
#he’s simply a Silly Goofy Guy#not beating the Goofy Bi Guy stereotype lol#I do feel quite silly waitin for his ig notifs since he started dming me tho#unfortunately I do be Experiencing Feelings 😔#but also fun vibes cause it’s been awhile since I Started Talking To someone irl (like not including dating app chats)#not that we’re Talking™. idk if we are. idk. social interactions are confusing lol#maybe we are maybe not ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#we messaged a bit yesterday when he messaged first#then today I sent him a meme & we’ve been messaging for awhile#he’s working on a play & we we’re chatting before the show started & I thought that might’ve been it#but he messaged again after it finished & we’ve been talking a lil while now too :)#he’s rly friendly tho & we were kinda just becoming friends so it could well be just Next Stage Of Friendship#cause it’s not like either of us have said anything flirty or anything. just talkin & joking#plus he’s a few years younger than me- not in a creepy way. both legal adults in college-#I just usually have a weird thing with age gaps over like 2 years because of a personal negative experience#so it would just make me feel better if I don’t initiate anything first#I’ll let him do that if he wants to & then ask if he had any thoughts about the bit of age difference#if anything were to get that far. who’s to say. he’s a v chill platonic friend too if that’s where things go :)#need more funny goofy friends in my life :)#ok I’m done lmao#shroomie rambles#shroomie long tags
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(I have no idea if this will make sense—sorry I’ve had some wine this evening and so I’m rambling)
I think this is a “popular” opinion but not widespread—people need to understand that there is so much nuance to reading. Obviously there’s the “you can like things I don’t like” and vice versa, but also in HOW people enjoy things. Like take Fourth Wing (I know I know), but while I also agree with a lot of the complaints, I still was just like “that was a fun time, I totally ignored all the sex scenes bc I hate how they were written, but I was vibing the whole time.” And I feel like some people would still respond to my opinion like “okay but it was so horrible how did you even enjoy it at all??? Lame”
Like okay Betty, I love high fantasy as much as you, but sometimes I want something that just fucks, okay?
(and not to say you aren’t allowed to not like things, but there seems to be a fine line between “hey! I didn’t like this but that’s okay” and “I hated this and I CANNOT comprehend why ANYONE could find even an inkling of fun from this + I’m going to subtly implicate that I think people who like this are stupid”) (obviously not for books that are objectively hurtful or offensive)
And of course you can go so many different ways than just that example, but it’s a mix of gate-keeping, prejudice, lack of empathy, and a bit of a superiority complex that makes it so hard for the reading community to really be united.
#you are SO right i’m glad you’re saying it#the superiority thing is so truly genuinely unbelievably exhausting but it’s how some people get through the day so idk idc#but yeah i’ve had irls scoff and laugh at my bookshelf and i’m like dude. i’m 24 years old ok like#i don’t need to play weird childish games about who’s better for reading what#i like it and it’s bad vs. it’s good and not for me vs. i don’t like it and i think it’s bad vs. it’s good and i love it? all valid!!#all real!!! and where a book falls on that axis will be different for every single person!!#i read a good amount of literary fiction and as an amateur writer i usually like it because it’s so fun to read invested writing like that#but ALSO! i usually have a lot more FUN reading a romance novel or a silly fantasy series#and i read primarily for entertainment and not for educational value. and that’s okay!#it’s so bizarre because you don’t see people scoffing when someone watches the walking dead instead of a documentary or like the letter M#but as soon as someone reads for entertainment above anything else it’s a waste of time and they’re stupid.#this feels entirely unrelated to your ask but i’ve wanted to talk about it for too long#and IVE HAD WINE TOO#i agree w you wholeheartedly though and i’m glad you sent this#anon#asked and answered#hot takes
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I can’t believe I have to say this but performatively tagging me and thanking me for participating in a fandom when you don’t follow me, don’t talk to me, and haven’t ever once interacted with any of my posts (not even in the fandom you thanked me for participating in) is a good way to get yourself blocked.
I make posts for myself, not to be thanked for participating. If you’re grateful that I made the posts, I’m glad! A lot of people have thanked me for many of my posts for many shows. I don’t have a problem with it. But feel free to tell me on the posts. Or don’t tell me and just like or reblog. But creating your own post, tagging me, and thanking me feels hollow when you haven’t done any of that on my posts.
I don’t mind being tagged in posts. I even like it! But please don’t just do it because you think you have to because I was one of the many many many blogs writing about a show and you’ve seen others tag me. Please tag me because you want me to see something. It feels like you’re tagging me to boost followers and if you knew anything about me, you’d know that I am not the person for that.
I don’t like blocking people, but this shit makes me so uncomfortable that I need to start blocking in order to remain on tumblr.
#rae irl#this is just so fucking weird to me#I can’t imagine going around and thanking people for participating in fandom the way people keep thanking me#I participate for me and no one else#if you’re worried that I might block you cause you tagged me in something lately don’t worry#if you haven’t been blocked then I’m most likely not going to block you but if you’re seriously concerned feel free to reach out#and if you’re thinking of tagging me but scared doing so will get you blocked again you can reach out#or if you’d rather just not tag me because you’re not sure that’s fine too I don’t need to be tagged#I do enjoy it most of the time but it’s never necessary#and I have plenty of mutuals who will#likely tag me if they see it and think I should be tagged#I think my rant is done#wait no there’s more#I don’t know what’s going on right now but if you want to build a following that’s fine you do you#but I cannot stress enough how much I do not want to be a part of that#people that actually follow me or know me or have talked to me at all know that’s not something I want#so please for the love of god leave me out of it
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Anyway. My last post for some reason did t post so I’m gonna post it again and rewrite (lmao it was just like ‘summer whump here we Go’ and me going off in the tags) anyway I won’t even bother to proofread this have fun <333
SUMMER WHUMPE NYOOM
- Sunburns
- Heat exhaustion
- Heatstroke
- Sunstroke (which I believe to know is something different from heatstroke and heat exhaustion)
- Whumpee going swimming and severely underestimating the freezing temperatures of the lake despite the otherwise high temperatures
- Going swimming in a lake or otherwise unclean water with wounds which causes them to get infected
- Headaches from dehydration/sun
- Light sensitive Whumpees <3
- Stepping into something underwater
- Falling onto something underwater
- Falling into the water and onto something like the ground or whatever because they couldn’t see it coming because of. the water
- Sudden temperature drops after sunset, which leave Whumpee freezing because it was so warm earlier, they didn’t bother to bring a jacket
- getting pushed falling off a boat
- bugs. need I say more
- (to the point above. Just imagine whumpee who’s scared of bugs, or getting bitten by something that makes them sick or something, or just the plain discomfort of having 74572959220 mosquito bites)
- Whumpee falling asleep in the sun. A classic
- Falling off a tree they were trying to climb
- I also noted down train whump
- Because. Trains can be ultra packed here when holidays start. So imagine claustrophobic whumpee in a horribly packed train <3
- Or simply an overheating train because the AC failed
- generally being stuck in a train and no one knows why or when or if they will keep going
- allergies. Another classic
- scar reveals because it’s too hot for long clothes <3
#whump#whump prompt#Summer whump#sun whump#vacation whump#whumpee#no what do you mean. I’m not projecting#I am most definitely not very miserable Right now because I was out in the sun too long without realizing it#oh my god I think my head wants to murder me#sunburn let’s gooo#everything. hurts#I don’t feel like it’s sunstroke or any of the others because everything is weird#bro I looked in the mirror and I look literally white like a sheet of paper like what#I think I’m done with vacationing. genuinely#I figured It couldnt hurt so I decided to go camping for just one night#by myself#end of the story I’m currently very uncomfortable in my tent I want to sleep but everything ouch 👍#grrrrrrrrr#irl whump#I keep hearing things on the outside of my tent
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.
#huh#so that’s that#ripped off like the most painful bandaid that didn’t come off right the first time#if you know me irl don’t say anything but I need to put it into the ether because it doesn’t feel real#but I’m single again#it’s weird#but I feel like a weight is gone#it sucks though
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it’s all been said before but the whole pronouns thing for some people is getting so ridiculous it’s honestly just sad
#just saw a TIF post ‘i’ve decided that in addition to he/they i am now interested in ‘he/they/she. but just as a spicy little extra#only on rare occasion for fun. but please don’t ONLY use she/her for me if you use that please switch it up from time to time!’#like girl can’t you see how meaningless this all is. it’s a consumerist hobby to you it’s a game of playing with masks for fun#it’s literally just about playing pretend and getting excited when your friends play along. it’s a bit#but actors get uncomfortable when the topic lingers on the truth for too long. they’re cool with dancing around it sometimes#but they don’t like being unmasked openly because they don’t like their true selves they like having a persona#this whole trans thing is so insanely dangerous people are straight up encouraging personality disorder type behavior#or like. when people who ‘use multiple pronoun sets’ post stuff like ‘i wish people would actually bother to switch it up sometimes#or use he or she instead of always just they :/‘ like yeah people are avoiding saying anything real because they’re afraid of upsetting you#and catching you on a bad day where that’s not right#or like. they’d prefer a consistent approach to language at the very least instead of fulfilling your ever-changing fantasies#because you can’t make up your mind because you always need more and more attention and can’t just be satisfied with yourself#literally i can remember my own experience with this thing wasn’t ‘maybe i’m actually not a girl’ (this is almost never it)#it was ‘maybe it would be fun to go she/they and put a non-binary flag in my icon and reblog all these cool posts about being trans’#’it looks like it would be a lot of fun to get in on this cool thing and be someone special and have a secret identity in real life’#it is so much fun to play pretend. and it is so damaging to act like these intrusive thoughts actually mean anything about your gender#bc when you spend too much time on the internet and start entertaining the idea of being someone else#it starts to feel weird when people irl refer to you as who you are with all relevant gendered language#dysphoria is being manufactured by overthinking about things while having ideas flow into your mind by a constant social media stream#for a whole generation of people online it is almost never an actual natural thing
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