#ripped off like the most painful bandaid that didn’t come off right the first time

[whoopsimadeamess]

.

[meiliarotten]

Pegging With a Side of Masochism

🔞MINORS DNI🔞

Pairing: Medic x Fem!Reader

Summary: Exactly what it says on the tin. Once again, I have no summary for this other than Reader is shy and pegs Medic. Have fun!

Tags: Masochism, pegging, scratching, soft femdom, dom/sub undertones, bottom Medic

Word Count: 3.7k

The Masterlist

Full mooned nights were never lacking when it came to romantic atmosphere. On its own, nighttime offered lovers the cover of darkness, a promise of secrecy and intimacy. The light of a full moon was a bonus, as it bathed everything in amorous silver tones, creating the most beautiful setting for seduction to take place.

Of course, the atmosphere was only half of the appeal in such situations. The other half was who you experienced it with, and you certainly weren’t lacking in that department either. After all, you could easily and gladly lose yourself in the sensation of Medic’s bare skin against yours and the way he kissed his way from your face down to your neck and collar bone.

Your clothes were already discarded on the floor next to the bed without a care, but Medic had somehow managed to remain somewhat clothed, in his pants and dress shirt, which seemed very unfair to you. So you quickly worked to remedy that, fumbling with his belt and unbuttoning his shirt in between feverish kisses and caresses.

The two of you explored each other as you had many times before, illuminated perfectly by the moonlight that poured through the small window in Medic’s private quarters. Just enough light so that you could see each other, and also just enough light that you could see the item that had occupied your thoughts since the moment Medic had suggested it to you.

You had agreed at the time, and tried not to dwell on the idea until you absolutely needed to. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to try it. You just knew that if you over thought it, you would just scare yourself away. But now the time had come, and you were confronted with the object of your apprehension sitting on the nightstand just a few feet away.

A strap on lay next to a bottle of lube. You tried to ignore the items at first, just letting yourself enjoy the foreplay, but when you were in such close proximity to it, you couldn’t help but worry. It wasn’t even that intimidating. It was simple, matte black, and the most concerning thing about it was its slightly larger than average size. Even that shouldn’t have worried you. You weren’t going to be the one taking it. Still, your eyes were drawn to it, and every time you looked at it you were filled with a conflicting mix of nervousness and eagerness.

Eventually, the stress became too much. If one of you didn’t make a move soon, your anxiety would overcome you, and you would no doubt regret not trying it later. It was best to treat this like ripping off a bandaid, assuming that you would enjoy it once you got started.

So, although it pained you to do so, you pulled away from Medic’s eager mouth, which had still been traversing the sensitive skin of your neck as you pondered your next move.

“I, uh-“ you stammered, glancing towards the nightstand, unsure how to proceed. “I think I’m ready to try it.”

Medic, followed your gaze and grinned eagerly the moment he realized what your vague statement was referring to.

“Are you sure?” He asked, unable to hide the excitement in his voice.

“Yes.” You nodded as you got up from the comforting softness of the bed, picking up the harness and trying to look confident with it, even though the tangle of straps and buckles intimidated and confused you.

“Do you need assistance, dear?” Medic asked.

“No, I’m sure I can figure it out,” you said, even as your faux confidence began to waver. “You need to prepare right? Do that in the meantime.”

Ideally, you would have prepped Medic yourself, but your hands were already shaking just holding the strap on. Besides, Medic had bigger hands than you. He could probably do a better job.

You continued to fumble with the harness for a bit. Medic repressed a laugh as he watched you test the straps, trying to figure out exactly how the confounding thing in your hands was supposed to work.

“Trust me, I can do this,” you said, more to reassure yourself than him, your face flushing with embarrassment.

“Alright, liebling. I believe you,” he said, chuckling softly as he reached for the bottle of lube on the nightstand, squeezing the contents onto his fingers.

Meanwhile, you lifted the straps of the harness, deciding the first order of business was to untangle them. At least you assumed they were tangled, but the longer you struggled with it, the less sure you were. Maybe you were actually tangling them more? Medic’s soft sighs as he worked himself over didn’t make it any easier for you to concentrate on what you were trying to do.

Finally, when everything looked right, you then had to face the challenge of actually getting the strap on to fit, tightening and loosening the harness as you shifted it up your legs and around your hips. Eventually, you seemed to have it figured out. It felt a bit strange, but you figured it was just because you weren’t used to it yet.

You took some solace in the fact that your difficulties in getting this thing on had given Medic plenty of time to prepare himself. Watching him gasp as he fucked himself with his fingers was a rather nice sight. However, you hoped that soon you would be the one drawing those sounds from him.

“Okay, I think I’ve got this,” you said, feigning self assurance despite the fact that you were still tugging at the straps in an attempt to make them feel less uncomfortable.

Medic looked at you and gave a soft laugh. He reached forward, adjusting some of the straps, loosening or tightening them to fit your body more ideally. Clearly he had experience with this. It still felt awkward to wear, but it was far more comfortable, even if you were a bit embarrassed that you needed his help after all.

“Not bad at all for your first try,” Medic said, admiring you as you stood before him. “You look absolutely irresistible.”

You blushed at his blatant admiration. He began to coax you back onto the bed, gently taking you by the hand and guiding you towards him. You settled yourself between his legs.

“So, I guess we should get started, if you’re ready?” You said, trying to keep yourself from stammering as you leaned over Medic. He nodded and handed you the lube.

You spread a generous amount on the strap. For a moment you were actually worried you had applied too much, but then concluded it would be better to have too much than too little. The last thing you wanted to do was cause any pain, and any excess could easily be wiped off with a spare tissue or something.

Medic laid back beneath you. It was a very different view to see the doctor bottoming, rather than you looking up at him as he ravished your body. Still, while his current posture and position seemed to convey submission, a look at his expression told you that he intended to be in control, as usual. In a way, you actually found that quite comforting. You weren’t sure you were ready to be completely dominant just yet.

He looked up at you expectantly, clearly waiting for you to take initiative. With a deep breath, you lined yourself up and pressed into him slowly, being met with a sharp inhale as you entered.

“I’m sorry, I’m not hurting you, am I?” You stammered, your anxiety around the situation returning suddenly.

Medic shook his head, reaching up to cup your cheek in a gesture of reassurance. You calmed down almost immediately, relaxing into his touch.

“No dear, trust me, I’ll tell you if it’s uncomfortable. You’re doing a very good job so far. Just keep going,” he said, pulling you down into a gentle kiss.

After a few moments you pulled away, smiling softly before continuing to move, still adjusting to the foreign feeling of the strap on. You paid particular attention to Medic’s reactions, measuring how receptive he was to certain movements, making sure you were making him feel good. His low moans seemed to indicate that you were doing well. Part of you wanted to draw even louder sounds from him, but you forced yourself to show restraint, keeping your pace slow and careful.

“That’s it, nice and steady,” he whispered. “Once you get used to it you can start thrusting a bit harder, ja?”

You nodded and Medic watched you intently, relishing the sight of you thrusting in and out of him, your hips moving a bit more surely with each forward motion. However, it was still rather restrained. Medic was curious to see just how rough he could get you to be.

As for you, all of your focus was still on his pleasure, on making sure you were doing things right. You knew you were still thrusting somewhat shallowly. It was obvious that you were new to this, and you were trying to make up for your lack of experience by concentrating on your angle, knowing if you got it just right you could have Medic seeing stars.

Medic moved his hands to your hips, guiding you and gently encouraging you to go faster. You complied hesitantly, nervous that you would hurt him or do something wrong. Still, a part of you knew that your worrying was only making the experience more difficult.

‘This is gonna feel good for both of us, just calm down’ you thought to yourself, taking a few deep breaths. You quickened your pace, letting go of your fears.

“There we go, mädchen. You’re getting a bit more confident now. Good job,” Medic crooned, now guiding your hands to rest on his hips. “You can hold on here, to keep yourself steady.”

You hesitated, your courage waning slightly. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

Medic laughed, as if the very idea that you were capable of hurting him was amusing.

“That’s sweet, liebling, but you don’t have to worry about breaking me. Besides, I don’t mind a little pain,” he said, flashing you a devious grin that made you blush.

So you obeyed, gripping Medic’s hips for leverage and picking up where you left off, this time daring to go harder and deeper. Medic’s reactions were certainly rewarding enough, as he began making all manner of appreciative sounds, especially whenever you gripped his hips especially tight, occasionally digging your nails into his skin. Now this was what Medic wanted to see from you.

Of course, none of those sounds could really compare to the way he moaned when you hit his sweet spot. The way he cried out when you got that angle just right actually scared you at first. You stopped moving, unknowingly resting the strap right against his prostate.

“Oh shit, was I too rough?” You asked, genuinely concerned and completely oblivious to what you were actually doing.

“No, no, don’t stop,” Medic begged, tugging at your hips in a desperate plea to get you to start moving again. “That’s a very good spot there, bitte, keep going, liebling!”

Medic begging was a completely foreign sound to you, but damn, it certainly got you going. He sounded so desperate for you. Continuing to thrust into him, you made sure to make use of certain angles that made him make all those delicious noises for you. You familiarized yourself with that most sensitive area, trying to ignore your own increasing arousal. Seeing him squirm and cry out all because of what you were doing, it was a sense of control that you found intoxicating.

“Does this feel good, doctor?” Am I doing a good job?” You were asking genuinely, but beneath that sincerity was definitely something a bit more flirtatious, maybe even teasing. A part of you already knew that you were doing a good job by the way Medic was panting beneath you. You just wanted to hear him say it. You wanted to make him say it.

Medic somehow managed to collect himself enough to grin up at you, obviously noticing the slight teasing edge in your voice. Perhaps he intended to respond in an equally self-assured manner, but a quick thrust to his prostate sent him spiraling once again and whatever response he had prepared dissolved into a flurry of moans.

“Gott, You’re doing good, mädchen. You’re doing so good for me.” He groaned, his hands falling from your hips to clutch at the sheets around him. “Keep moving, bitte, just like that!”

“Of course,” you said, beaming with pride as you continued to drive Medic wild with each thrust. God, you were fucking soaked, completely hypnotized by Medic’s reactions. You were doing that. You were giving him that pleasure. Perhaps this was a power dynamic that you could get used to.

You gasped as his hands once again flew to your hips, his grip now firm enough to bruise. You winced, your movements stuttering slightly. In a moment of clarity, Medic loosened his hold on you, not realizing how rough he had been.

“Are you alright?” He asked, apologetically caressing where he had seized you.

“Yes, I’m fine,” You said, surprised at how disappointed you were when he loosened his grasp on you.

Medic raised an eyebrow at your reaction, letting you resume your movements before once again clutching your hips roughly, making you whimper. A knowing smirk spread across his face as moved his hands up your waist and over your chest, squeezing the soft flesh especially hard in spots he knew were sensitive. His movements were calculated and careful, until another particularly good thrust from you caused him to lose control again.

“Mein Gott!” Medic moaned as he clawed at your back, making you gasp and buck harder in response to the sweet stinging sensation. He repeated the action. Sometimes it was purposeful, other times he was just grasping for anything in a blissed out frenzy. It wasn’t long before tell tale red scratches began to form down your back and ass. The pain drove you wild, making you go faster.

“Oh, you’re enjoying this? Having me run my nails down your soft skin like that? It seems that I’m not the only one here who enjoys a little pain,” Medic gasped. His words were obviously meant to tease you, but they lacked any real bite given that he was barely keeping himself from dissolving into delirious moans.

He sounded so close. You made a point to tighten your hold on his hips, possibly leaving bruises in your wake. Neither of you were getting out of this unscathed. You would mark each other. You would claim each other.

You listened as Medic’s moans began to reach a peak. He trembled beneath you and you watched as with a few more well placed thrusts, he came undone, releasing onto his own stomach and chest.

You bucked your hips against him just a few more times, watching him squirm at the overstimulation before you carefully pulled out, rolling to lay next to him, not even bothering to undo the harness yet. You found that you were also trembling as your adrenaline subsided and fatigue began to set in, mingling strangely with the arousal that you were still desperate to satisfy.

Medic panted as he came down from his high, and you admired his blissful expression as he caught his breath. You couldn’t help but smile at the sight.

“Look at you,” Medic said after several moments of silence, a slight laugh in his tone. “You look quite proud of yourself, liebling.”

“I did well, didn’t I?” You asked, allowing yourself a bit of a smug smile. You figured you had earned that, at the very least.

“Oh ja, sehr gut,” he murdered as he pressed a kiss to your forehead. “You did extremely well.”

You beamed at his praise, but the heat pooling between your hips and the restlessness that came with it were still begging to be satiated. You managed to ignore it, letting Medic bask in the afterglow for a little longer.

Absent-mindedly, you ran a hand over your lower back and ass, wincing slightly as you made contact with the scratches. You hissed at the pain, breaking the comfortable silence that had settled over the room. He really had done a number on you.

“Oh dear, it seems I got a bit carried away,” he said with a short laugh, glancing at the red lines that decorated your skin. “I could fix that up with the Medi Gun tomorrow morning if you would like.”

As you thought about that, you were conflicted. On one hand, there was a sense of shame at possibly having to walk around with these scratches visible on your body, making it obvious to everyone what you were up to behind closed doors. On the other hand, there was a sense of pride that you felt at making Medic lose control enough to do this to you. In that sense, the scratch marks were like trophies.

“I’ll think about it,” you said, concluding that it would be a decision for ‘future you’ to worry about.

Medic nodded before finally moving to sit up off of the bed, grabbing a handful of tissues from the nightstand to clean himself off. He tossed them into a conveniently placed waste bin before dropping to his knees on the floor, cushioned by the discarded clothes that were left laying there. He beckoned for you to sit on the edge of the bed and you perked up immediately at the gesture.

Medic began to undo the straps of the harness once you were comfortably seated on the edge of the mattress. Once they were loose enough, he slipped the toy off of you, revealing how wet you really were.

“It seems that you still need to be tended to, don’t you mädchen?” He asked, looking up at you from between your thighs.

“God, yes,” you sighed, resting your legs on Medic’s shoulders, eager to finally have your own desire sated.

He started off by tenderly running his tongue along your entrance before dipping in completely. He kept a firm hold on your thighs and hips, dragging you even closer to him as he ravished you with his tongue. You were so aroused and sensitive, you couldn’t help but moan at his every move.

Still, you tried to ride out the high of control that you had felt earlier, not ready to lay back and let go just yet. You reached down to grip Medic’s hair as he went down on you, tugging gently and earning a growl from him that made you shiver.

“Well, aren’t you daring today?” He said, chuckling softly, his soft laughter vibrating against your clit and making you squirm. “I’ll allow it, dear. In fact, I think I rather like this dominant side of you.”

He moved from caressing your hips to your ass, firmly gripping the supple flesh there. You once again felt the residual sting of the scratches he had left there several minutes ago. He ran his tongue over your clit as he caressed you, creating an intoxicating mix of pleasure and pain. You tugged at his hair again, making him dig his nails into you, adding fresh marks to the canvas of your skin.

You moaned, and Medic noticed your reaction, continuing to leave marks along your body. You were so delightfully receptive to pain. He admired the way you arched off the bed and pulled at his hair as he drove you closer to the edge.

The conflicting sensations soon began to overwhelm you in the best possible way. Medic only worked more enthusiastically as you continued to cry out for him. He focused in on your clit as your moans reached a shrill peak, finally bringing you to climax.

Your legs were wrapped firmly around Medic’s shoulders as you rode out your orgasm, your body stiffening before you went completely limp on the bed, allowing Medic to remove your legs from his shoulders. Gently, he nudged you back onto your side of the bed.

You laid facing away from him, still breathless. Medic didn’t seem to mind, returning to bed and pulling you against him, letting you nestle yourself into the curve of his body. He wrapped an arm over you to hold you closer. Feeling the steady rise and fall of his chest against your body was comforting.

Just as sleep began to set in, you felt Medic pull away slightly, skimming his fingers carefully over your back. He made a small noise of concern that caught your attention.

“Gott, I really was rough on you,” he said, examining the patterns of red marks that covered your skin in rows and occasional cross hatches. He almost sounded apologetic.

“I enjoyed it,” you said, a hum of contentment in your voice. You were quick to reassure him that he hadn’t really hurt you. At least, not in any way that didn’t add to the pleasure.

Medic laughed, his own voice heavy with the onset of sleep. “A masochist- I should have guessed.”

“Oh, don’t tease me! You liked it too,” You said, laughing along with him.

“Even so, we should probably treat these-“ he began, only for you to cut him off. You rolled back over to face Medic, barely opening your eyes.

“No,” you said drowsily, throwing an arm over the doctor’s waist. “Just stay with me like this, please. We can deal with it in the morning.”

Part of you was aware that Medic knew best. Those scratches would probably sting even worse in the morning, and in a far less sexy way, but at the moment you didn’t care. That was a problem to be dealt with later. Medic could tell you he told you so then, but for now, you just wanted to stay in his arms until the sun came up.

Medic sighed in defeat, seeing how close to sleep you were. It would be a fruitless effort to convince you otherwise. “Very well, liebling.”

He pressed kisses softly to your lips and face before stroking your hair. You leaned into his embrace, and his breathing slowed as you both began to give in to the allure of sleep. You smiled contently, feeling the dull pain of the scratches left on your body juxtaposed with the soft sensation of Medic’s lips against yours and the gentle, comforting embrace he held you in as you drifted off.

[lovecolibri]

SaL anon here bestie and I'm afraid it's time. It was bound to happen at some point during the hiatus, but I feel like now that it's here we should rip the bandaid off and talk about all the reasons the sperm donor arc is some if the stupidest shit I've ever seen. So let's start with what really pissed me off this week which is KR's comments about this storyline. Can't remember the exact quote but something like "Buck needs to be happy with himself, figure out what he wants, it's important to

do that before being happy in a relationship, blah, blah, blah" to which I thought "Why indeed KR this is true which is exactly why WE SHOULD HAVE SEEN THIS HAPPEN LAST YEAR WITH THE WHOLE TAYLOR RELATIONSHIP!!" This is exactly how that story was set up, constantly showing Buck's misery, his half-hearted ily, the chance to realize he needs more than just a person that doesn't leave to be happy. And absolutely nothing came of it. We spent a whole season with this BS only to have it end with no growth for Buck. And NOW you think it's time to address this 🙄🙄🙄??!! Also this leads into my second bitchy observation. Part of the appeal of having a break up growth arc was it was relatable. Maybe we haven't all experienced it but I'd argue most people can relate to the idea of leaving (or being left) a relationship that isn't bad but isn't what you want. Eddie's breakdown arc last season was relatable, not because we all know what PTSD like but we can all appreciate the idea of bottling up hurt and pain because we don't want to face it or keep a brave face for those we love. What exactly am I supposed to be connecting to with this donor BS?? We all don't have an innate desire to have kids, or do a big favor for a sorta friend we once knew. I have a complete emotional disconnect from this storyline and don't see that changing. So next let's talk about how fucking illogical every part of this story is (on a side note I laughed at the fans out-googling the 911 writers on so many things, reminds me of my science RNM  science sin compilations). Anyway, just why would anyone approach their friend they barely keep contact with to do this particular favor (maybe they explained but honestly I've blocked so many of those scenes from my long term memory)?? Why not a close friend (or relative even)? If you're going for emotional distance why not just an anonymous donor? The whole premise feels so contrived. Probably gotta leave it here for now since I'm getting sleepy. But i'm not close to being done (i'm not even done with this one point) so i hope ypu're ready for more of an inbox full later. Feel free to respond to what I do have because honestly bestie, this may take awhile.

My friend, as always your thoughts are perfectly on point! First, YES that growth was what SHOULD have come out of Buck having a relationship where he recognized he was clinging to something that wasn’t fulfilling for him and being the one to call it quits. But with the cheating added into the mix and then the Jonah mess, Buck didn’t end the relationship on “his” terms, he was pushed by her actions and needing to protect his friends. And ya know what? It might have worked if they had it end in 5a, and then spent 5b with Buck figuring out how to be happy with himself and what he wants. Also, what TF was 5x18 if not TWO instances of it being stated what Buck wants?! First with the Maddie “isn’t that what love is?” conversation and then the firefam “someone to have your back” conversation. 

ANYWAY, fine, Buck still needs to learn what the key to happiness is, but please tell me why after how much we had to suffer through that BT mess, we are having yet another season of Buck clinging to something that isn’t right for him and won’t make him happy, just because he thinks doing something to make someone else happy is important even if it hurts him. If the WHOLE point of the BT mess was showing Buck being a “settler” and a “clinger” then why are we right back in the same place with him settling for being a donor not a dad, and clinging on to this couple like he’s going to be ‘fun uncle Buck”? You KNOW that couple isn’t going to want a constant reminder of how they “failed” to make a baby “on their own”, or risk their kid (or Buck) getting too attached. Not to mention how awkward it would be for them to explain their sperm donor just being around all the time. Also what was the point of Hen asking if he could have a child out there and walk away, if he can JUST be a donor and nothing more, if the storyline is showing him constantly acting like he’s going to be fulling involved in this kids life? How is ANY of this helping Buck figure out how to be happy with himself when he’s still putting himself and his needs behind other people’s who are using him for parts? What happened to him figuring out the right “couch” and how to be “at ease” and Lev’s death being something that hit him super hard and made him start thinking about his life? Because all of that got abandoned in favor of this soap opera level pointless “drama”. Thanks, I hate it.

As far as connecting to the storyline, I don’t even think it’s just about some people not wanting kids and therefore not being able to connect, it’s about the way this story is being told. Because you’re right, even people without war-related PTSD could relate or at least emotionally connect to Eddie’s arc. But with Buck, we aren’t given enough/consistent info about his thoughts and feelings to connect with! He seems unsure when he talks to Hen and that “donor not dad” line really seemed to throw him for a loop. So the audience was prepared to see him struggle with this decision a bit, maybe saying “let me think about it” and then an episode or 2 later (after some interactions with a call and/or Eddie/Chris, or Maddie (and maybe Jee) make him re-evaluate things), he tells them no, because he’s realized he can’t just donate and walk away. (Even weighty arcs like the lawsuit and Eddie’s fighting arc only lasted a couple episodes so this would be easy to wrap up within the confines of 6a) Instead he says “yes” immediately without talking to Eddie, Maddie, or Bobby or taking into real account what Hen said. Okay, fine, so he’s said yes, now it’s time for the family history to come into play or a talk with Eddie or Maddie or Bobby right?! Wrong! It’s time to forget about it for a month! Then, when it finally comes back, it’s got two conflicting things happening at once. Thing one: It’s all a big joke! Buck is telling Hen about his masturbation habits (which as everyone has pointed out is actually NOT what you should do which Buck would know if he was doing all that research on what to eat and everything, but that would require the WRITERS to do that research and OPP! Either they didn’t bother, or decided this was “funnier” than the facts 🙄). Buck is getting cock-blocked by the sperm bank! Buck’s firefam is eavesdropping on the reveal when Buck get’s accosted at work and they get caught staring! How funny is that?! (🙄🙄🙄 NOT actually funny but of course it’s never addressed) But then we have thing two. Which is the fact that despite the writing playing this off as a joke, they’re also making sure Buck isn’t telling anyone besides Hen, and makes it clear he doesn’t want her to tell anyone else. Why not? Why would Buck keep this a secret from his sister that he always goes to for a listening ear? From his best friend who isn’t afraid to give him tough talks when he needs them? From his father figure whose advice he respects? The answer if this was in an earlier season with better writing would be that he knows he’s not making the right choice and isn’t ready to confront the truth. But we don’t get any indication of that either! Just Buck desperate to do his donation, apologetic to the couple when he can’t get it done and doubling down on his commitment and excitement to do this for them, and a continued joy in the whole thing, with no indication that anyone is gearing up for a big talk with him. So why was Buck sooo desperate to not let anyone know? The audience is being given two different messages at the same time! Buck is super excited about doing this in his words, and Buck is also super concerned about the people closest to him finding out that he’s doing this in his actions. But since we don’t see him expressing that worry, and we don’t see the team expressing any worry behind his back about it, the audience doesn’t know how they are supposed to be emotionally connecting to this story. I know you’ve got another ask planed on how we’re past the point of being able to satisfyingly wrap up this arc now that a baby has been made so I’ll save some rant for that, but just focused on what we have seen, the arc doesn’t make any sense on what Buck is truly feeling and therefore what the audience should be connecting to within the storyline. 

As for why they asked Buck, his buddy said it was because Buck was a good, kind, selfless person and you can’t tell that from a genetics facts sheet at the sperm bank. Which is....a) grossly manipulative, especially for someone like Buck which dude HAD to know, and b) isn’t even a tiny bit factually true! Yes kids have their own personalities and what they like and enjoy may not always line up with what their parents do, but your child being a good and kind person is sorta down to you teaching them to be good and kind. It isn’t going to just *happen* because of “genetics”. My guess is they approached him because he IS good and kind and they figured he would say yes, with the added bonus of him being a physically healthy person with on the surface level, probably “good” genetics.

Anyway, I tried to give this storyline a chance, just like I did with the impending BT breakup, but just like last season, it’s reached a point where pretty much whatever they do is going to result in Buck being the “victim” again and being the one to be “left behind” instead of being able to make the choice himself to leave a situation that isn’t good for him, meaning again, no real growth, and more of Buck being stuck having scenes and arcs entirely outside the firefam/his job. And as we saw with 4x14 and 99.9% of s5 and the BT relationship, KR doesn’t like anyone in the firefam being involved in Buck’s personal arcs. (Probably because if they WERE, he might actually learn something and be able to grow a little and we just can’t have that.)

[raggaraddy]

Tae’s first time with a virgin if your still taking requests?

Virgin

A/n: Thank you for the request! It was fun to write. Enjoy xx 💜💜💜

Trigger warning: Smut, first time, oral, D/s themes, examples of a bad D/s dynamic, dirty talk, mild spanking.

Taehyung

Dom!Taehyung

You pull out your phone and type the message. Over and over. Deleting it and re-writing it about 30 times.

Until you see the typing bubble pop up on Taehyung's side.

If you have something to say, get it out. He writes.

Damn. You really should have written this on paper first. But too late now.

You had spoken with Taehyung for months and had met him in person for the first time last week. With clever wording, so far you'd gotten around telling him your secret. But you know you have to tell him before your first play session tonight. You don't know if a guy can tell or not, but if he can it's going to be embarrassing if he finds out that way.

It's not like you haven't done things before, you were probably more experienced than most when it came to other areas. You've played with other kinky people before, hooked up with girl friends and guy friends, and you've had a full D/s relationship that was filled with BDSM. It's just that you'd never done that one thing.

Really, you don't even know why you held onto it for so long. At first, you were trying to be smart and not give it away too quickly or easily, but then it almost became something you had a sense of pride in and tried to protect. But Taehyung was special. Someone you felt connected to. And you know, it's time to get it over with. Both telling him and the act itself. You have to simply rip the bandaid off and tell him. He shouldn't be mad. You didn't exactly lie about anything.

Its just about tonght :)

Please don't be mad. I ddnt know how to say it before

But you should probably knwo I'm a virgin

Three separate messages. Typed so quickly they're riddled with spelling and grammar errors. The words are not nearly as well prepared as you had wanted. But at least it was done.

The read symbol appears, and then nothing. Staring at your phone for what feels like 5 minutes, there is no reply. You're running over a dozen new messages, typing them in your head first. Wanting to explain that you didn't lie and that everything you told him, you really had done.

Typing the first word, his answer finally comes through. Only 3 words that make you relieved but also anxious from their conciseness.

See you tonight.

After spending hours getting ready, it was finally time to meet him. You came to his house and were perfectly on time. Although, you had a moment of concern thinking you were at the wrong address. When Taehyung said he had a big apartment you hadn't expected it to be a 2 story, riverside, penthouse in the middle of the city. He never wanted to tell you anything about his job, and now you were a little worried he's someone famous or that he runs a drug cartel or something.

Feeling a bit out of place and with the upcoming plans looming ahead of you, you start the night filled with nerves. However, Taehyung's confident demeanour as well as some casual conversation and a few drinks, eventually help you start to relax. And soon you're even beginning to get a little impatient.

A mix of anticipation of what is to come, steadily becoming tipsy, and having not touched yourself for a week, your mind is already running with all manner of dirty thoughts. But unfortunately, you're far too shy to initiate anything so you are entirely dependant on Taehyung's schedule. And he is taking it slow.

Normally, he would have a girl naked and on her knees by this time, but you were special to him, also. And especially now knowing that you're a virgin, he is determined to make the night last. Sat on the couch with him, there are small touches here and there, provocative topics of conversation, and his commanding tone of voice that makes you melt. Your excitement peaking as he passionately kisses you, pulling you onto his lap.

Nearing 2 hours of talking and teasing, Taehyung finally starts the main event. Taking you with him into the most stunning playroom you have ever witnessed. An industrial meets a minimalistic-modern theme. A beautiful king four-poster bed, with an x-frame top, a wooden headboard, and a white canopy. Making you think that this must be where princesses who liked to get spanked come to play.

Never parting his lips from yours, slowly and gently Taehyung undresses you. His delicate removal of your clothes and his tender kisses are in explicit contrast to the sharp, rough tugs on your hair that he uses to move you around. The combination making your skin burn with lust.

Sitting you in the middle of the bed, he remains fully clothed. A prickle of excited nerves shivering up your body. You're beyond needy and ready. Your hands starting to pull at his shirt, unable to refrain yourself any longer.

"Please," you whine. As his mouth comes off yours, you pull him into you a little firmer.

"What do you want?" Taehyung asks. His voice coming out deep and lowly spoken.

"I want," you gulp trying to think of what to say. Your face heating. "you?"

"That wasn't convincing." He moves forward, his hand pressing to your chest, pushing you flat onto the bed. "I asked you," Leaning over, his mouth comes to your breast, sucking your nipple. Your gasps turning to moans as he bites down before repeating himself. "What do you want?"

"Whatever you want, Sir." Your hands cling into the blankets trying to stop yourself from digging them into his perfect dark hair instead.

Looking up he smirks. "Mmm, when you call me that," he grabs your wrist, bringing it to his crotch. Pressing your open palm to the hard bulge straining in his pants. "it really turns me on."

You whine as he pulls your hand away. You'd been fantasizing for weeks about what he must feel like and now you were so close to having what you dreamt of.

"Don't worry about me, Y/n. I'm going to get what I want. But what I want right now," his hand suddenly cups your pussy making you gasp, "is for you- my horny, wet, little virgin," instinctually you spread your legs wider and his middle finger presses deeper, slipping between your folds making you wail. "to tell me what you want."

"Anything," You're trying to make yourself say more, but your mind is swimming and you're glowing with embarrassment thinking about actually saying what you want him to do to you. His piercing stare, his beauty, his hard cock, you're aching to have him. He knows what you want. It's not fair for him to make you ask for it.

"Y/n," your eyes lift to his face upon hearing his rumbling voice call your name. "Have I given you the impression that I tell you to do something so I can hear my own voice?"

Your eyes get big as you chew your lip, shaking your head. Even his light scolding is turning you on.

"Good. Then I'll ask you one last time, and if you make me ask you again, I'm going to put your panties back on, and they won't be coming off again tonight." he purrs making you whimper at his threat. "I was going to accept your little two-word answer, but now you've made me ask you multiple times, so you'll tell me in detail. What do you want me to do to you, little girl?"

You feel like curling under the blanket from shame, but you start to push the answer out. "I want... you... to," you swallow looking down, "fuck me." You can see his eyebrow raise, telling you to go on and give him the specifics like he asked. "I want to have you inside me, Sir. I want," you're thinking of the next words while feeling near to tears from discomfort. Unable to even glance at his face. "I want you to be the first man to fuck me." It's nearly inaudible by the end of the sentence, but you get it out. Hoping it's enough to make him happy.

Finally building the courage to look up, Taehyung is brimming with satisfaction and hunger. Looking ready to devour you.

His fingers gently hold your chin, lifting your head a little higher to meet him as he hovers over you. "Thank you, Y/n." He says softly, making your stomach swarm with butterflies. His warm reaction has you even more confident in your choice. "Put your arms above your head, and interlock your fingers." He instructs hushedly.

Too eager to follow his order your arms stretch above you, knocking into the headboard making your wrists bend. Holding your hips, Taehyung yanks you down the bed giving you the space to hold your arms out straight.

Pressing down on your wrists his face softly becomes more serious "You're not going to move your hands at all until I say. Not in any direction. Do you understand?"

With a little smile, you nod. Already having fun. "Yes, Sir."

"Good girl," he praises making you blush for what is surely the 100th time tonight.

He releases your hands and you push them down making sure to follow his order.

Slowly Taehyung shifts down your body, his fingertips lightly tracing down your arms and your sides, making you flinch and squirm. Fighting through being ticklish to hold still and keep your position.

Setting between your legs he continues to play with you. Your eyes clenching shut as his touch runs down your neck, your chest and stomach, gripping your thighs, tracing your lips. His fingers softly pinching your nipples producing a moan, your hips bucking up as your breathing deepens.

Moving lower still, Taehyung pushes your thighs wider. Lifting one of your legs he has you bend it upright, kissing from your knee down your thigh. Trailing lower until his lips touch your core making you bite your lip to stop from crying out. Needing to bite back even more vocal cries as his tongue flicks out, kneading against your clit. Starting to suck and lick you. Your legs spreading further on their own accord. Quickly losing your senses to pleasure.

His nearly painful grip on your hips jerks you down, pulling you into his tongue as it dives inside you making you cry out. Instinctually, your hands want to cling onto him and lift an inch from the mattress. Quick realization making you panic and slam them back flat.

Soon you're fussing, calling out his name as the flat of his tongue strokes you, eating you like a man starved. His long fingers deep inside you, massaging you in the same insisting manner. Pushing you to the edge without pause. Cumming with a yelp you bite your cheek in lieu of your arm. Your orgasm not stopping him, instead, he spreads your legs further lapping up all of the juice you spill. And just when you can't stand anymore and your body is starting to shake, he finally springs up smacking his lips with a satisfied open mouth grin. Wiping your cum from his face.

Flopping onto the bed alongside you, he rests over you again, kissing you deeply, letting you taste yourself. Leaving you breathless when he finally parts.

"How are you doing?" He asks, his mindlessly touch once more trailing along your skin. "Good?" he presses for confirmation.

"Yes," you giggle, feeling lightheaded in the afterglow. Wanting to touch him back you, accidentally lift your arms off the mattress again. "Oh," You gasp, settling them back.

Raising up, he leans on his elbow. Digging into your joint hands, he clicks his tongue. "How many times did you lift your arms? Hmm?"

"Um," You feel like your cheeks burning under his inquisitive gaze. In truth, you hadn't counted. But you think at least 7 times. "Seven," you whisper.

"And how many times did I say you could move them?"

Your mind races for a moment trying to remember exactly what he said. You don't remember him saying a number though. And you realize it's a trick question. "None?" you squeak.

"That's right." He hums.

Sitting upright, he abruptly sticks his hands under you, flipping you onto your stomach in forceful motions. Trying to not break position, you stay straight keeping your arms flat to the bed. With a last tug, Taehyung pulls you onto your knees, your elongated arms and aching your back makes your face burry into the mattress.

"Seven," He says. His large open palm smacking your ass harshly. He doesn't count down the rest, but in your own head, you do. Each stinging slap only worsening your hunger.

But it doesn't matter how desperate you are, Taehyung isn't nearly done with you. Over the next 90 minutes, he touches and toys with you. You come serval times from his hands, his tongue, from toys, and even once from your own hand as he makes you get yourself off.

As the events go on, he gradually undresses. His own needs getting dire, he also cums, letting you suck him off and swallow his load. But soon after he is hard again. Getting too much enjoyment from teasing you with his cock, seeing you become a mess. And no matter how many times you cum, it is the part you want the most. At last, though, he addresses your needful craving.

Putting you on your back, you can see the switch in his eyes and the intent behind it. Laying over you and resting on his elbows, he lines up with your entrance. Your body almost shaking with expectation.

"What do you want little girl?" he repeats, his own breath strained with desire.

You no longer have any apprehension about saying it. You've never wanted anything, anyone, inside you more than you want Taehyung right now. "Please fuck me, Sir." you pant, tilting your hips up, your motion rubbing his tip through your dripping folds.

This time it's Taehyung whose exterior cracks. Dipping in your warm opening makes him groan. His jaw tensing, he has to restrain himself from slamming his dick inside you. He wants to do it. He wants to make you scream and writhe, and take his dick all at once. But he knows he can't be cruel. He knows he has overcome his baser instincts and be patient.

Pressing his lips to yours, slowly, carefully, he starts to edge his hips forward. His cock sinking inside you. Inch by inch. Allowing you the time and space to adjust to him. And you're grateful for it. He's stretching you and the deeper he goes the further you're being spread. The size of him, his thickness is larger than any vibrator you've used before. Or anything else you've had inside you.

Breathing lightly, shortly, your hands are clinging to the blanket. Your eyes fluttering closed. Feeling him fill you is beyond your wildest imaginations, and right now you wish it would never end.

"Fuck," Taehyung whispers, his entire dick buried inside you. Your virgin walls tightly constricting and twitching around him. With a few heavy breathes, he calms himself. "How does that feel Y/n?" He asks, half teasing you, half genuinely checking on your well-being.

Words have left you. Your mind is delirious. You can only whine and nod stiffly. Your hands wrapping his back draw his body against yours. Mutly begging for him to continue.

He gets your meaning and is all too happy to oblige. Keeping a slow, steady pace, he lifts his hips. The rubbing making you fevered. And when he sinks into you again, he sets up an even pace of long deep strokes. Rocking into your over and over and it isn't long before any hint of pain is replaced with pure euphoria. Your legs shaking and shivering.

"Such a good girl." He moans into your lips. "You're taking my dick so well," Starting to pick up the pace, your moans come out more unrestrained. A kind of vibrating static filling your brain.

As his thrusts become more empowered, the low ache returns. Hurting just enough that it's helping the incredible sensation build. After several minutes, one of Taehyung's hands lowers to your clit. The external pressure causing electricity. Enhancing the pleasure inside. Quickly the combination overwhelms you and you can feel pleasure in your core unlike any other. As if every single cell in your body were crying out in joy, you lift and fall, exploding in ecstasy. The sensation turning your stomach, aching the back of your jaw from how hard it hits you. Taehyung's tongue filling your mouth, he swallows the breathless screams of your orgasm.

"Oh god, Y/n, you feel so good." Taehyung groans, his thrusts not slowing any. Your body floating, your mind ringing in orgasmic relief.

The pulsing inside you seems to last for an eternity. And even after it fades your oversensitive body is still quivering from his unrelenting motions. You're exhausted and wrecked and now that you've cum, his size is starting to make you sore.

"Did that feel good?" He purrs. Your moans of pleasure turning into whimpers as his pace begins to pick up. Pushing on his chest a little, you're breathing too hard to vocalize your thoughts. But Taehyung can read your actions.

"You can take a little more, cant you, baby?" He coos, pressing deep and holding it, grinding his hips down. Making you squeal in pleasurable pain. "You wanna make me feel good don't you?"

He stops moving, pulling back a little to give you space to breathe and to hear him clearly. You nearly sigh in relief. The tip of him was pressing too far. Your eyes open as his hand comes to your face, making you look at him.

"Can you be a big girl for me while I fuck you?" he kisses you lightly, sucking your bottom lip. "Do you wanna be a good little girl and let me use you, let me fill you with cum?"

Even with your body depleted, you don't need to think twice. You want all of that. You want him to cum inside you. You want to make him happy, whatever it takes. Not looking away from his eyes you nod. A little scared, but mostly turned on and excited at the idea of him using you to get himself off.

Closed lipped, his mouth lifts into a smirk. His eyes getting prideful at your agreement.

Easing into you, his breath becomes shaky. Again he bottoms out inside you and you whine in pain. With your approval given he isn't waiting on a slow build this time. He's rock hard and your warm wet cunt is driving him crazy. He knows it's going to hurt you. But he also knows you won't need to endure for very long. He is already nearly ready to burst.

Quickly his thrusts get faster and rougher. Extending his arms he raises up and lifts one of your legs for leverage. His chest pushing down on the back of your thigh spreads you deeper and shoves him even further inside you.

You can't contain yourself at that point. Crying out with every thrust. Your skin is covered in goosebumps. You can tell he is still restraining himself, but it's easily too much. You're drained and tender. And he's too big and rough for you to handle.

But despite your discomfort, you force yourself to stay still. Repeating a mantra over and over in your head that you want to be good for him.

Sweating lightly, Taehyung is pounding you until all of sudden, with a final solid snap of his hips, his movements faltering. A chesty moan pouring out of him as his body falls heavier into you. Your raw sensitive walls twitching as they are flooded with warmth. Several small jerking thursts pumping all of his cum into you before he drops his weight.

Letting your thigh drop back down, he rests on his elbows on either side of your head, his heavy breath fanning your face. Lightly brushing his lips to yours he kisses you through a smile.

"Such a brave girl." He mutters.

You're so tender that he has you mewling even as he pulls out of you. The movement makes you wince.

Gasping, you're surprised you can actually feel his cum shifting. It feels like it's going to run out of you. Clamping your thighs shut, your face glows again with embarrassment. You're not sure if that is supposed to happen. You thought it would stay inside. But in any case, you don't want to make a mess on his bed.

With a last satisfied grunt, he drops onto his side, leaning on his arm while still hovering above you.

"I'm so proud of you. You did so well." He smiles warmly, brushing your hair off your face, wiping away your sweat. "How do you feel?"

How do you feel? Sore, exhausted, thoroughly use, but mostly,

"Good," You grin sleepily, leaning into his touch.

"Good." He whispers back.

Shuffling a little higher, he pulls a pillow down and nudges it under your head. His arm going under your neck he wraps his other arm around you, hugging you. As you roll to your side and cuddle into him, he takes the hint and draws you in tighter. His hands rubbing up and down your back softly.

"I had a really nice time tonight Y/n." He kisses the top of your head, his chest tightening against you. "Thank you for letting me be your first."

[pot-of-terv]

FINALLY! It is here! The conclusion to my PuzzleJune series! Thank you so much for everyone who’s tagged along on this journey and thank you especially to @xauroraxborealisx for arranging this event. It’s been a wild ride for me because this is the first time I’ve ever done something this big so I’m incredibly grateful for everything ;__;

I might continue this story with tiny bits here and there but for the foreseeable future, this is it. Hope you enjoy!! 💗 (Please be sure to read the previous parts first if you’re new here :3)

PuzzleJune 2021, Week Four: Mind (School, Bond)

“Aren’t you hungry, Yuugi?”

The aforementioned boy startles, almost dropping his spoon into his soup. He looks at his grandpa and blinks.

“Uh, yeah, not really. Sorry.”

“Thought so,” Sugoroku nods and drinks his remaining broth straight from the bowl. “Give the rest to me.”

Yuugi blinks at him again, almost owlishly, and lifts his bowl with stiff arms to hand it over to the old man.

Sugoroku doesn’t waste any time and goes for the soup as soon as it’s in front of him. Yuugi smiles at him, amused, and stands up. He gathers up his spoon and glass and brings them to the sink.

“Thanks for the food,” he calls out as he leaves the kitchen. Sugoroku answers him with a grunt, probably already immersed in his crossword now that there’s no one else at the table.

Yuugi walks the stairs to his room slowly, silently thanking his grandfather for not making a fuss about his suddenly disappeared appetite. It’s been a quiet day but he feels tired and he’s kept zoning out. He blames it on the blistering heat of late summer but even to him, it sounds like a lie – the real reason is that he misses Atem.

He doesn’t bother closing the door of his room behind him and goes straight for the bed, falling onto it face first. It’s stupid, I know, he thinks and lifts his head enough to be able to tilt it to the side so he’s not smothered by the plush bedspread. He’ll be back soon.

Jounouchi had come to the house early that morning and asked to borrow Atem. He had reasoned that because school would start again in a week, he wanted to spend at least one day together with just Atem, doing whatever. Atem didn’t have to enrol, after all, so they won’t be able to hang out that much anymore after the classes start.

Yuugi understood him, of course – he will see Atem every day even if there’s a lot of homework, but the others don’t have that privilege. He had even joked that why aren’t their other friends waiting in line to get a turn, too, flustering Atem and making Jounouchi guffaw.

In all honesty, he’s really happy that Jounouchi would take the time to spend a whole day with Atem. They’d been going out as a group a lot after the first week and a half of Atem living (actually living) with Yuugi and while having all of their friends to hang out with is so much fun, Yuugi treasures time spent one-on-one.

It doesn’t change the fact that after being glued to Atem’s side for so long, Yuugi finds himself lost without him. His mind feels like candy floss, fluttery and sticky, and he can’t concentrate. He had tried to go through his deck in order to decide if it’s good enough (he and Atem need their own decks now, after all, so most of it is brand new) but couldn’t get past the first couple of cards. After that hadn't worked, he tried a few different games that he could play by himself but got no enjoyment from them. He’d just been going through the motions and realising that, he had decided to go down to help his grandpa at the shop for the rest of the day.

It’s not healthy to be so attached, he knows, and they really need to work on that – Yuugi is sure that Atem is fine with Jounouchi, but what about when they need to go to school and Atem stays home? He’d like to believe that the pharaoh will be much better off by himself than Yuugi is, but that is doubtful. They’ll have to have yet another talk soon – preferably today.

Yuugi bites his lip and sighs. There really is no coming back from the kind of bond that they’ve shared – through mind, heart and body – and Yuugi doesn’t want to imagine the pain that Atem’s departure to Afterlife would have caused when a simple day spent apart makes him unravel at the seams. Also, this train of thought could bring him to a place he most definitely doesn’t want to go now so to distract himself he turns onto his back and fumbles blindly to his left to grab the book he had left on the bed earlier that day.

- 

The sound of rustling wakes him an undetermined time later. He opens his eyes slowly, groggy enough to feel like he should just go back to sleep, but when he glances at the clock on his desk his stomach flips and he shoots up from the bed – the book he had attempted to read falling on the floor with a bang – and startles Atem who had been digging through a grocery bag.

“Ah! Yuugi!” he yelps and almost falls onto his butt from his crouched position on the other side of the desk. Thankfully he doesn’t send any of his purchases flying as he stabilises himself by quickly planting his other hand on the floor.

“Sorry!” Yuugi apologises quickly, his heart still racing. He hadn’t meant to fall asleep and he most definitely didn’t mean to sleep that late. It’s already seven in the evening, meaning that Yuugi had snoozed away for three hours. But – it also means that Atem is back, as evidenced by the boy currently looking up at him with concern written all over his face.

“I didn’t mean to wake you –” he starts but Yuugi silences him by shaking his head.

“No, I shouldn’t have slept in the first place. Really, I should thank you,” he says and pauses, then just looks at Atem. An unprompted smile makes its way onto his face. “Welcome home.”

There’s wonder in the pharaoh’s eyes and after a moment of silence, he returns the smile with such warmth it can almost be felt. “I’m home,” he replies, and Yuugi smiles wider.

He really is.

-

“Are you sure you’ll be fine?”

“Aibou, please,” Atem laughs and holds Yuugi’s face between his hands, squishing his cheeks. Jounouchi chortles from somewhere behind him and Yuugi frowns in his direction but doesn’t move away from Atem or try to pry his hands off of his face.

“But I worry,” he says, looking rightfully pouty as he shifts his gaze back to his partner. Atem laughs more and releases his face, patting his other cheek before crossing his arms.

“I’ll walk back home, help grandpa open up the shop and then it’s smooth sailing from there. You don’t have to worry,” he smiles at the still pouting teen in front of him. “I’ll be fine, you’ll be fine, and the day’s done sooner than you realise.”

“Yeah, Yuugi,” Jounouchi cuts in with a grin and drapes an arm around Atem’s shoulders. “Atem knows his way around the shop and we’re all here to take care of you. No sweat.”

“Honestly,” Anzu smiles and swiftly elbows Honda in the ribs before he can interrupt her. “We know it’s hard on you both but it’s just like ripping off a bandaid, right? It stings at first but it doesn’t last forever and even before you realise, you’ve forgotten all about it.”

“Y-yeah,” Honda says, rubbing his side, “what they said. We’ll be here, Yuugi.”

Yuugi stares at his friends, feeling his cheeks warming. How in the world did he get so lucky?

“T-thanks,” he mutters but can’t help smiling in the end. “You guys are great.”

“Hell yeah we are!” Jounouchi exclaims and does finger guns at him, his other arm still on Atem’s shoulders. Atem laughs but his eyes are soft when he looks at Yuugi.

“Go on, then. The gates are about to close, aren’t they?”

“Oh, shit!” Honda and Jounouchi yelp at the same time and the latter releases his hold on Atem. He ruffles the spiky-haired head before taking off after his best friend. “Stay crispy!” he shouts over his shoulder at Atem.

Anzu shakes her head, frowning. “These guys are too much. You don’t have to run yet!” she tries yelling after them but the duo is already too far ahead. She sighs but when she turns to Yuugi and tilts her head to the side, her eyes are twinkling.

“I should go after them. I trust you’ll be right behind, okay?”

And she winks. Yuugi flushes pink but before he can say anything, she’s already jogging off. There’s a chuckle next to him and he looks at the pharaoh who seems much too happy.

“That wasn’t fair,” Yuugi grumbles and that only makes Atem laugh harder.

“You’ve got amazing friends,” he says when he’s calmed down. Yuugi bristles at him but the pink on his cheeks takes away from his attempted glare. Just a little bit.

“They’re your friends too!” he reminds him and that makes Atem sober up. His voice is surprisingly quiet when he talks.

“They really are,” he says and smiles in that gentle way he's been doing a lot lately. Yuugi softens at his expression and they take a moment to just look at each other, wondering, smiling. There’s so much to be happy about, they both realise at the same time, and Yuugi takes Atem’s hand.

“I know you’ll be alright. I’m, just, I’m – I’m going to miss you.”

Atem smiles at him and squeezes his hand. “I’ll miss you too, Yuugi.”

It makes Yuugi’s smile widen and he chuckles. Of course he knew it but it feels good to hear it said out loud. He’s sure it’s the same for Atem.

“Well, I guess I should be going. Take care,” he says and without pause, kisses Atem on the cheek. “See you after school!” he grins and with one final squeeze, lets go of Atem’s hand and turns around to run after his friends. His chest is buzzing and he smiles the whole way to the building.

Atem is left standing at the curb, eyes wide, face red. He lifts his hand to touch his cheek and the skin there feels electric, as if that simple touch of lips had awakened a new sense that had been completely dormant until now. That feeling spreads across his skin, reaching the top of his head and the very tips of his toes and it’s so, so warm.

It feels really nice. Atem breaks out into a grin that matches Yuugi’s earlier one and turns around to leave, his hand staying on his cheek. He must look smitten as anything but he doesn’t care. He’s happy, so why not show it to the world?

As soon as he takes the first step, he almost collides with Ryou who had come running around the corner.

“Oh! Sorry, Atem. I overslept!” the white-haired boy exclaims and stops to give a quick pat to Atem’s shoulder. “Have a good day at the shop. I’ll come to visit if I can, after school!”

He grins and waves and dashes through the school gates before Atem can wade through the fluttery mess that is his mind for a greeting. He’s still reeling but Bakura didn't seem to mind his silence so it’s probably alright.

-

The walk back home doesn’t feel lonely in the least. After all, his partner is always with him, even when they’re apart. Hearts are wonderful like that.

And that, if something, is worth smiling for.

[n0wornever]

Remember Me - Luke Patterson x Reader

“So I have this idea where the reader died with the boys she's like their friend/fan/manager type stuff but like she has this crush on Luke since forever but never acted up on it and so when they met Julie and stuff the boys kind of neglect her because they were so focused on making the band and stuff and she also sees the chemistry between Luke and Julie. After that she went and met Willie where they talked about their unfinished business and like the reader knows her unfinished business and it's not Luke...”

So this is....the saddest piece I’ve ever written, sorry in advance

It had been about two months since Y/N and the boys were planted in Julie Molina’s life. In that short period of time, Luke, Alex, and Reggie were able to creatively connect with the girl and start to play music again. As much as she loved to watch the boys succeed, she couldn’t help but feel a pain in her chest.

As the boys grew closer to Julie, Y/N slipped into the background. Unable to contribute musically and her death making it impossible for her to help with the marketing piece she used to take on, she was often relegated to an audience member and cheerleader. She didn’t mind encouraging her boys, but she couldn’t help but feel like an outsider from the group.

As she sat on the white sand, she looked out at the open water, listening to water whip around. A jolt pushed her back a few feet, leaving her breathless. As she came back from the sudden pain, she thought about what Willie had said to Alex about completing their unfinished business. With the physical pain of whatever Caleb ejected into their system, and the hidden pain her chest, she was aware of the fact that she couldn’t last long. 

She knew she needed to talk to someone about it. Her best friend had been the one she turned to when she felt her lowest. She had hesitated to say anything to him before because looked so happy with this second chance. He was writing and singing again, and most importantly, he was smiling again. She had ignored the fast beating of her heart when he grabbed her hand in excitement over the Phantoms’ first gig and definitely ignored the ache in her chest when she saw the way that Julie and Luke sang with each other on the stage. However, she knew this feeling in her gut wouldn’t go away with her letting it build inside, so she was finally going to rip off that bandaid. 

She snapped her fingers and was instantly brought back to the garage. She looked around the garage and didn’t see anyone initially. As she waited, she started to hear the muffled sound of voices outside the door. She walked over, opening the door a crack and peeking outside. She saw Luke and Julie, a soft smile across his face as he looked at her. One she once thought was reserved for her. She swallowed hard as she listened.

“Julie, you’re incredible, please talk to me. You know that you can tell me anything, right?” 

The girl looked up at him with wide eyes and a sweet smile. They moved to try to connect hands, his slipping through hers. She turned to face the house and he smiled at her side profile.

“This is an interesting little relationship you and I have…”

Y/N felt tears bubble toward the surface as she watched the pure encounter in front of her. She had felt like she had been replaced for a while now, but this was the physical proof she was looking for. She slid the door closed and fell against it, letting silent tears fall from her face for a moment before snapping her fingers again.

She landed in the middle of the quiet dance floor of Caleb’s club. She heard the sound of tires wheeling toward her and turned to see Willie racing her way. He slid up to meet her, picking up his board in his hand and smiling at her.

“Y/N, what are you doing here?” 

She clutched her wrist in her opposite hand, refusing to meet his eyes. She felt his hand grab hers and she finally met his gaze, unable to stop the tears from flowing. 

“What’s going on?” He pressed, his eyebrows raised in concern. 

She let go of his hand and moved hers to wipe the tears away. “I just wanted to talk to you about something.” She shoved her hands in her pockets as she looked up at him. 

He sighed, leading her over to the table. He sat his board on the chair next to him and turned to face her. She took a deep breath before speaking again. 

“You know how you said that by completing your unfinished business you could pass on…”

“Uh-huh…” He said slowly, one eyebrow raising at her. 

She rubbed the back of her neck “I was wondering...how do you find out what that is exactly...to do that…”

“Y/N have you talked to the boys-”

She stopped him, holding a hand out to his face. “I am certain it doesn’t have anything to do with them.” He stared at her blankly “You know that. We talked about how their scheduled performance will probably be the anecdote for them. That won’t work for me… I need to do this alone” 

He nodded at her, waiting a moment before talking again “Okay, so let’s think about this…. Do you have anyone that you have unresolved issues with? Anyone that you might have left on bad terms with?”

She thought hard about this question. There were many people that she never received clarity from, but one stuck out. Her mom and her were never really on great terms. She remembered the last argument they had the last night before she left for the Sunset Curve show. Her mom had been frustrated with her slipping grades and her continued focus on the boys’ career instead of her own. 

What really broke her was her mom’s stance that Luke “wasn’t good enough for her” and that she was wasting her time on him. The screaming match that followed this comment had left Y/N’s face red and her heart racing as she screamed ‘I hate you’ at her mother and slammed the door as she left.

She regretted that the moment she said it. She knew her mom was just looking out for her, that she wanted the best for her daughter, and was genuinely worried about her. She knew she didn’t like Luke, but it wasn’t because she disliked him, she felt like the boy was leading her daughter on and didn’t want her heart to hurt anymore. Her mom was there the nights she cried when Luke would go on dates with other girls or when he would cancel plans last minute. Her mom would console her into the early hours of her morning. Although they didn’t always see eye to eye, her mom cared about her and loved her more than anyone she ever knew. 

She felt her chest get heavier the longer she thought about that moment. She met Willie’s eyes again, placing her hands on the table as she told him the story. 

“I think I know what I need to do, thanks, Wille.” 

The right side of his lips rose at her, grabbing her hands and squeezing them. “You sure that this is what you want?” 

She nodded, standing up. She wrapped the flannel she stole from Luke this morning and pulled it over her shoulders. The pair exchanged a hug and a last goodbye before she poofed out of the room. As she opened her eyes, she was met by a scene she was all too familiar with. The tree was already decorated for the Christmas holiday, the dining room set the way her mom always did even though they rarely ate there. She walked forward, entering the living room. That is when she saw her, she almost cried at the sight of the grey-haired woman, knitting in her favorite chair. As she approached her and watched her stoically watching the screen in front of her, she shook from the emotion that fell from her body. Y/N tried to wave her hand in front of her face, but the woman did not react to the movement. She watched her for another moment before she walked over to the table.

She saw the pen and notepad on the table and concentrated on them. She exhaled as she was able to hold the pen in her hand. She touched the notepad, pressing the ink to the page. The words flew like water from her as the pen hit the paper. She got to the end and thought carefully before she wrote “Your Sunshine” at the end in neat cursive. She ripped the paper from the rest and folded into a perfect square. She held it up to her and kissed it gently. She walked to the kitchen, placing the note next to the coffee machine that she’d know the woman would eventually wander to. She looked around the room one more time before stepping through the back door. 

She sat down on the outside steps and took a deep breath. She rested her elbows on her knees and brought her hands up to cover her face. She finally took a moment to let go, crying into her hands, the tears collecting in her palm. She knew that she couldn’t bear to evaporate into thin air or whatever would happen at her home. She felt like that would be like her mom losing her twice, even if she didn’t see her. 

She snapped her fingers and heard the familiar noise of the waves around her. She let her eyes set on the water furthest from her. Sitting in silence as the grey day consumed her. 

Later that night

Luke’s body drew a subtle hue as he hugged Julie, feeling the strength reenter his body after a near-death after their last performance. The band hugged each other closely, spinning around in a circle at the opportunity for another chance to be around each other. As they separated, Luke looked around the room with wide eyes.

“Hey, where’s Y/N, I know she’s not formally a part of the band...but maybe this will work for her too?”

He looked over to the chair where he normally found her reading and didn’t see her lamp on. He ran over to the other side of the room by the stereo and found nothing. He ran his fingers through his hair as he sprinted back over to his bandmates. 

He jogged back to his bandmates, scratching his head “Did she say she was going somewhere tonight?” 

Before any of them could answer, they heard the turn of wheels near the entrance of the garage. They turned to see the long-haired skater frantically trying to catch his breath. His eyes darted between all of the boys eyes before he met Luke’s, fighting the tears he already felt coming. 

“Willie, what’s going on?” Alex asked, approaching the boy.

Willie looked up at Alex with tears welling in the corners of his eyes. He bit down on his bottom lip before speaking to the group.

“She didn’t want me to tell you guys, but my heart can’t take you all not knowing. I think Y/N is gone.”

Luke scoffed, pointing at the empty room behind him “Yeah, I just tried to look for her-”

Wille interrupted him, swallowing hard “No...she’s gone gone.” 

Luke’s face moved to a scowl, approaching the man with his fists balled “What do you mean? What the hell did you do?”

Wille pressed backward, and Alex intervened, pushing against Luke’s chest to separate the boys. The skater put a hand on Alex’s shoulder and moved him out of the way to meet Luke’s angry expression again.

“I didn’t do anything. SHE came to me this afternoon and asked about completing unfinished business. She told me she had to do this. She said something about it being her last hope.” Luke felt his eyes fill with water. He turned away from the group and slammed his hand against the wall, knowing well that it would bruise his knuckles.  

He screamed out in anguish before moving back over to her seat on the couch. His bandmates watched as he terrorized the room, ripping papers and pushing over furniture. Willie moved forward to try to console him but Alex’s arm rose, blocking the boy from walking forward. Alex nodded at his bandmates and Willie, the four of them leaving the boy alone in the room. 

Luke noticed a neat little square of paper sitting on top of the last book she read. He picked it up and saw his name written in her perfect penmanship. he sat down in her chair and wiped his tears aways on his ruffled top, steadying his breathing before unraveling the piece of paper. 

“Luke,

I didn’t want to do this, but I think leaving will be the best thing for my heart. I hope that your work with Julie gives you and the boys the second chance that you all deserve. I have never been prouder of you and no one in this world and afterlife deserves another shot of happiness like you do. I hope Julie takes care of your heart because I know that you deserve so much love,  I hope she’s willing to give that to you for as long as she can. Thank you for being my first friend, my first ‘boss’, and....my first love. I hope you never forget me because I know that it will be very difficult for me to forget you.

Love,

Your Sugar, Y/N”

He didn’t notice that he was crying until a few rogue tears hit the paper, drenching the words. He read the words “first love” several more times before folding it back up into her perfect square. He brought the note up to his lips and kissed it gently before holding it to where his heart used to beat. He looked up at the ceiling and whispered “I love you so much, I’m so sorry Sugar” to the air around him, letting the tears continue to fall as he sat in silence.

.

.

.

.

Tag list: @xplrreylo​ @lovesanimals​, @anythingandeverythingfandom​, @crybabyddl​, @oswin05​, @joshy-obx​, @lukeys-giggle​, @bumbleberry-pie​ @kiss-themoongoodbye​  @marinettepotterandplagg​, @lolychu​, @bathtimejish​, @dasexydevitt13​ @musicconversedance​, @txrii​  @bestdressedandstressed​ @daisiesforlacey​  @epikskool​  @bookfrog247​ @carleywhittaker​ @princessvader15​ @rudysbay​ @spooky-season-bitch

[kass-storycorner]

*cough* so i really love your work!! i love everything your put out so far however i’m now going to request for angst mwehehrh. Feel free to reject this if you aren’t comfortable!!

archon x albedo but they break up with him because they still haven’t moved on from their past lover that was slaughtered and felt it would be unfair if they stayed with albedo if they still loved someone else? Thankyou!!!

don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry

I'm so sorry that it took this long, I have been working a lot the past month and I've not been well mentally soooo yeah, but I'm glad I finally finished it! I was suprised myself at what I wrote, I only had to write an ending for this so ouch haha

thank you so much for your kind words I’m- ahhh I’m so happy that you love what I shared ( ˙꒳​˙ )

I’m so insecure with my writing so it’s reassuring to hear such kind words!

about the request: ooooOOOH I love this!!! And honestly my mind went directly into thousand different directions to make it even MORE angsty ahaha poor Albedo ( ╥ω╥ )

Genre: Angst, Hurt, no comfort, a bit fluff in between but it's more bittersweet

Rating: SFW

Content Warnings: mention of Khaenri`ah, mention of blood

Word count: 1,811 words

Characters: Albedo, gn!dendro Archon reader

Format: Text

Fic is under the cut!

“-and I think it is best to go separate ways from now on.” Ah, how peculiar. What is this strange feeling in Albedo’s chest? It feels like there is no air in his lungs anymore, an unsettling feeling spreading from his stomach through his whole body. Feverously he searched his mind for a reason for your words. Go separate ways? He heard what you said, but at the same time he did not understand the meaning of your words. Albedo stood there in your shared bedroom, stiff as a board his eyes pierced through you, no longer looking at you. It was as if you weren’t there.

“Albedo?”, your head peaked through the door of his office, sending him a smile. He peaked up from the work on his desk, strands of blond hair falling in front of his eyes. “Ah, (Y/N), hello,” curling his lips into a small smile at your sight. You stepped into the office, walking around the table, and leaning on it right beside him. His eyes were fixed on you. “Busy?” you asked as you brushed the strands of hair back behind his ear. A faint blush crept unto his face; you wouldn’t have noticed if it weren’t for how close you were to him. Clearing his throat he looked back down on the papers in front of him, answering your question. “Umm, well yes. The next expedition to the Dragonspine and my experiments need to be organised, though the formalities of filling out the forms for Jean is nothing that I am interested in.” He heard you chuckle at his words, wondering what was so funny about them. “I wonder”, you began, leaning down to him, so close the tips of your noses nearly were touching, “if is there something here that might interest you more.” “I supposed, there is,” he said and closed the distance between the two of you with a kiss.

“Albedo?”, your concerned voice pulled him out the pleasant memory that crossed his mind. He had been quite for a while now, it worried you. You weren’t sure how he’d take it, you asking to break off your relationship. It had been quite pleasant so far, the last few months with him. There weren’t any quarrels between the two of you nor reasons for the heartbreak Albedo felt right in this moment. You both were always honest to each other, about who and what each of you were. And because of this honesty each of you valued you had to break his heart. “I-“, his voice was hoarse, it had more emotions in it than he liked it to. “I need to ask you this… why?”. He finally looked at you, his cerulean eyes filled with pain. Ah, the dreadful question you knew he would ask, but you hoped he wouldn’t. There was no use in lying to him now, to not share the true reason for why you’re breaking up with him. Though you secretly wished that you could spare him the truth.

You sat under the shadows of a tree, eyes closed and feeling the warm summer breeze on your skin. “Please, don’t move.” At that you opened your eyes, looking at Albedo sitting across of you with his sketchbook and a pencil in his hands, sketching a portrait of you. “You quick with your hands, I doubt my small movements would change anything that you draw,” you said in a teasing tone, earning a raised brow from him, but no comment. There you were, the two of you. Sitting in the shadow, a comfortable silence surrounding the both of you. You watched the way Albedo furrowed his brows, looking up to you and then down to the paper, for him to sigh in frustration and starting a new sketch. “Somethings wrong?”, it has been the fourth piece of paper he rips out of the book and tosses aside. “I seem not to be able to capture your features correctly, something always is a bit off.” “Let me see,” you lean forward trying to grab one of the sketches he tossed away, but Albedo was quicker to snatch them away. “Don’t,” he says, hiding the pieces of paper behind his back. “Oh, come on, Bedo. I wanna see, I can’t look that bad” you joke, moving closer to him hoping to get a peak at his fifth sketch. Before you could even come close to taking a look he closed the sketchbook, denying you access to it. “No matter how often I try to draw you, it never does you justice”, he sighs, pinching the bride of his nose. You were close enough to him now to lean your head on his shoulder. “You know, it is quite the challenge to get the godly features of me right,” taking his hand, intertwining your fingers with his. “But I’m sure in all of the centuries I’ve lived through you might be the first one to succeed at it.”

You took a deep breath, dreading the answer you were going to give him. There was no way to sugar coat it and you were sure Albedo wouldn’t want to hear a long winded explanation if it wasn’t needed. Like a bandaid that needs to get ripped off you decided to do it as quickly as possible. “I don’t love you. I’m sorry, Albedo.” At your words Albedos heart was shattering into thousand small pieces. He swallowed hard, trying to suppress the tears that were trying to fall from his eyes… still, he had so many questions for you. His mind was racing, but all he could bring out was again the same question as before. “Why?”

“Albedo, please believe me when I say I wish I could. I wish I would love you, the way you deserve it. The way I want to, the way I still love them. You mean a great deal to me, please believe this. The time we spend together was time I enjoyed and that’s why I feel the need to be honest with you now. I hadn’t said anything before because I believed I could open my heart again, open it up for you. However it seems it’s impossible for me and I am so sorry for it. I shouldn’t have led you on like this…”

Blood curling screams were filling the streets of a small city that did not exist anymore. War was always present in Teyvat, there have been the past thousand years without it, but before that? The land was filled with the blood of mortals and god alike, the first ones killing each other in the names of the second ones. The reasons for most of the wars were laughable. One started them out of hurt pride, the other to broaden their territory and a third just out of sheer boredom. Not caring a bit about the humans that were caught in the crossfire of the gods. So when the Archon War began, similar to the ones before but just the scales were so different. There you were, a small deity. The god of the woods as they called you. You never liked the blood shed, it poisoned the earth so that no plant was able to grow. Before you were able to just avoid the wars, this time around you had no choice. And in the middle of this war you met someone astonishing. Until this day you couldn’t say if it was a curse or a blessing that they made their way into your life and your heart. All you know now is just the deep grief that is always there with you since they are gone. In the middle of bloodshed and darkness that the Archon War brought with it you found someone who made you forget the horrors of it, who made the burden of the crown easier when you rose to the position of the Dendro Archon after it - a position you didn't want at first, it falling into your hands by mere coincidence. After that you spend some marvelous years with that one person by your side, but even those who aren't entirely human are mortal, even gods can be killed. With another War that came, they left your side, wanting to protect you, to protect Sumeru. Brutally slaughtered by the hands of an enemy that envied your position, your power. Now all what remains of them is the dry earth. The massive woods of Sumeru turned into deserts, a consequence of your grief. And when the day came for another war, more blood and destruction at Khaenri`ah you decided to leave. To cut all ties with Celestia and give up the seat you never wanted in the first place.

Albedo knew most of this. He knew who you are, he knew of your nature before you made him fall in love with you. You never just told him about your past lover, too much did their loss still hurt and, what you were ashamed of admitting, too much did Albedo resemble them. In the silence of the shared room you finally told him what orginally drew you to him - how much you really wished you were able to love him for himself and while yes, you liked him very much, it was someone else you saw in him when you kissed. Someone else you wished he was. At first you didn't knew it yourself, in the beginning you really believed it was possible for you to find new love... but you still wished most days they were with you. It was time to be honest with him, to speak the truth, no matter how much you hurt him. "Albedo...", you began slowley, your voice drifting to him, but what sounded like a sweet melody just hours before now makes him feel sick. "Don't." he interrupted you. "I thank you for your honesty and for telling me the truth, but I don't need to hear more." With that he left the room, making his way towards his lab on Dragonspine. Not one person in Mondstadt would think of Albedo as a dumb person, everyone says how they are impressed with how smart he his... so why does he feel so stupid right now? He was a fool to believe that he was loveable, that someone saw him for who and what he was, not what they wanted him to be. For now he just wants to be alone again, surround himself with his work and ignore these feelings in his chest. The heartbreak, the betrayel... but also the feeling of relief. Albedo did wonder how much it would've pained you if he ever loses control, but now this is not a concern anymore. And still, as he made his way up Dragonspine he couldn't help the frozen tears coming spilling from his eyes.

[uwurakax]

boy, i hate you ♡

pairing: akaashi x reader ♡

genre: angst // cheating // suggestive (not explicit) ♡

summary: you swore to yourself that you’d never stay with a cheater, so why was it so hard to let go? ♡

♡ the sequel “boy, i need you” - read the second part here ♡

word count: 1.9k ♡

author’s note: ok this has been in my mind for ages now and i need this to go into the universe. i haven’t written in years so i am crappy rusty as hell (pls be kind ty). i don’t normally write but i had to. i also believe theres no gender mentioned? (it’s like 4am and i’ve had zero sleep so pls), but i suppose it leans to f!reader. i’ll regret uploading this later haha 🤟😭 also hasn’t been proofread and i wrote this at like 1am (excuses for my terrible writing yup, don’t judge me haha) ♡

♡ (inspired by f.u by little mix) ♡

infidelity

/ɪnfɪˈdɛlɪti/

noun

1. the action or state of being unfaithful to a spouse or partner

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Standing in front of the bathroom mirror, with your eyes red and wet was not an uncommon occurrence. You supposed at one point, it was, but those days felt like a distant dream. You had cried so much, it was a wonder you could keep up the waterworks. Your eyes were swollen, bloodshot and dry. The moisture had left them and were spilled, half dry, on your cheeks. 

It was pathetic. So pathetic how you could keep putting yourself through this. Day after day, breakdown after breakdown, you didn’t know how much more you could take. You quickly wiped away any more stray tears with the sleeve of the hoodie you were wearing.  His hoodie. 

You wondered how much liquid had been soaked up by his clothes. An ironic display of him comforting you indirectly when he was the one who caused those tears to spill in the first place.

You took a deep inhale and leaned over the porcelain countertop. It felt wrong. It felt awkward. It felt..dirty. You gripped the sides of the counter. You couldn’t pinpoint exactly where it all went wrong, it was just like it happened. Or maybe it didn’t, and it was there long before you had taken notice of the signs. 

All you knew was that suddenly, he wasn’t yours anymore. The home you shared with him wasn’t yours. Hell, even this goddamn pristine white bathroom wasn’t yours. For the past year or so, it was slowly losing the essence of you and him, and somehow converged into a you, him and her. You wondered if it just lost your sense entirely and had become his and hers - you being just a warm body that filled the cold space when he was gone, whether that be at work or when he had to take a ‘trip’. 

You were so sick of it. All the insecurity of when it started, why weren’t you enough, how’d it happen, and all those basic questions associated with a partner cheating were bubbling up inside of you. 

You wanted to push all the blame on him. You wanted to hate him, despise him for reducing you to the pathetic crying mess you were now, but you couldn’t. You knew, deep down inside, at some point it stopped being entirely his fault and that it shifted to you as well. Was it a week after you found out? A month? 3 months? 6 months? A year? Did it even matter anymore? You knew you had to stop this. You had to break it off with Akaashi. His unfaithfulness hurt you in a way that you couldn’t possibly imagine. You couldn’t keep living with the fact that he’d come home into your arms, holding you in the same way that he had just held somebody else. Somebody not you. Somebody who wasn’t his girlfriend. Geez, just how many times were you going to repeat that to yourself? You’d lost count on how many speeches and psych up’s that frequented your mind. 

This will be the last time. 

A silent promise to yourself, that this would be the end. That you’d finally pick yourself up, and gain some self confidence to just rip off that bandaid. No matter how much you loved him, no matter how long you had loved him, you had to do this for your sake. With a firm nod, you braced yourself, ready to finally free yourself from the love that was Akaashi Keiji. 

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

It had been a few hours since your breakdown in the bathroom happened. You were anticipating Akaashi’s arrival for the past hour or so. You knew exactly why he was late, it didn’t take a genius to know that he was with her. You wished that just for tonight, he wouldn’t. The suspense was suffocating. You just wanted to get this over and done with.

Not even the soft material of the pillows on the lounge you sat on calmed you. You absentmindedly ran your fingers through the plush texture, hoping to quell the dread and unease steadily rising with each passing moment that Akaashi didn’t enter through the front door. After what felt like forever, you finally heard his car coming into the driveway, the headlights peeking through the blinds. You closed your eyes and took in a deep breath. It did little to slow your racing heartbeat. You got up to greet him when the jingle of his keys echoed through the silent space that was ‘your home’, as he had put it the first time you entered into the building. Thats all it was to you now. A mix of brick and cement that no longer held the warmth that it once had, or perhaps it still did. Maybe that radiating glow just wasn’t for you anymore. 

“Keiji..”

“Hello my love” he was quick, or you were just too slow. Either way, his arms had found their way around you, pulling you close into his body. You couldn’t deny that your own craved his, fitting just a little too well, like jigsaw puzzle pieces. At one point it was relieving. At one point it would have brought you immense comfort. 

At one point it would have felt right. 

However at this moment in time, it didn’t. Maybe for a split second, you could’ve deluded yourself into thinking he was only yours, and you were only his. That sense of peace was gone in an instant when you smelt the pungent perfume of her on him. It clung to him desperately, and would soon dissipate throughout the house. The sickly sweet floral smell invading whatever little nook and cranny it could. Pushing out the fresh air.

Pushing out you.

It just further pressed the need to end things with him. Neither of you were happy in your relationship now.

For your sake and for his, you needed to do this quickly. 

You pulled away from him, hands on his chest. You had to force yourself to look at his face. It was time, you needed that bandaid off now. But when you searched his profile, you couldn’t see any other emotion but pure admiration.

Pure love.

Your breath hitched. Though it was when his hands made their way up to cup your cheeks that your body lost all rationality. Your heart now pumping quickly and loudly for a completely different reason. He slowly leaned in close and you instinctively closed your eyes. Soon enough, his lips were against yours. Soft you thought to yourself, but you could taste it. The underlying taste of something sweet. It was artificial, and definitely not Akaashi. 

God it hurt. It hurt, unbelievably so. 

His hands moved down and rested on your hips, fingers digging in ever so slightly. You both parted from each other, and this time, you decided to look into his eyes.

Gunmetal Blue.

It perfectly matched his beautiful face, and you knew you could get lost just staring into them. It honestly wasn’t fair how easily everything about him could just draw you in.

But you hated how he looked at you now. Like you held the stars in his sky. Like you were the most important person to him. It could almost make you sick, the gaze he had on you. How could he look at you like this? How could he touch you like that? How could he kiss you with such furore when he was just with somebody else, doing the exact same things that he was doing to you?

It just hurt. You never even got a chance to voice your thoughts on his infidelity, on the other woman, on anything. Because soon enough you found yourself led into the bedroom. Had he made love with that woman on the very bed you shared with him? There’s no way you could fool yourself into thinking that that space was sacred anymore. The sheets, the pillows, the mattress. All of it had been tainted. Much like everything else on this house. Contaminated with her touch when you were away and he had to stay home. Everywhere. Every surface, every room, hell every inch just had a lingering scent of her. 

Disgusting. Filthy. Soiled.

All those thoughts were washed away when Akaashi pulled you into the bed. Clothes now discarded haphazardly on the floor, easily forgotten. He gently brushed stray hairs away from your face and just observed you for a moment. He watched you with a smile, and you could reminisce back on your high school days. How was it that Akaashi Keiji, the sweet, shy and most amazing guy was doing something so horrible behind your back? You couldn’t understand. He was such a gentleman, so respectful and kind. So how? How could he do it so easily. 

He pulled you in, lips connecting once again. You knew it was wrong. To fall back into him would just lead you back into the spiral of pain and heartbreak. And yet, here you were, doing that exact thing. 

Because when he looked at you in that regard, when he touched you in the way that set your body ablaze, when he kissed you with such emotion and love, you could pretend that, just for a short period of time, that it was all just for you and only you. You could forget about the other woman. Could forget about all the thoughts of all the things he’d do with her. Forget the marks that he left on her, the same way he did you. 

You’d think of the consequences later, like you always did, because during these moments was when your heart didn’t ache so much, and you didn’t need to be left with your own intrusive thoughts. Here, like this, right now, you could just be two people together. Pretend that he did love you unconditionally.

Pretend that everything was okay. 

You knew tomorrow you’d regret it. Wake up in his arms and sob about how much of a coward you were to walk away. 

This will be the last time.

How many times had you repeated that phrase only to continue this toxic cycle? It wasn’t the first time, and it wouldn’t be the last. You hated Akaashi, but you hated yourself more, because you knew that you’d always lose yourself to him. Like a puppet master with the strings, you were pushed and pulled to his desire. 

You now lay in bed, with the covers over you both, and his hand rubbing a soothing trail up and down your arm. You wondered if this would’ve been a good time to do it. To cut your loses and go.

But..

Akaashi scooted over towards you, his hand now finding its way behind your head. His own now angled to press a delicate kiss on your forehead. You shut your eyes, willing the tears to not show. 

“I love you”

..you could never do it.

With a small, sad smile (hoping that the darkness of the night shielded the pain from him), you whispered the words that contradicted everything you had been feeling.

“I love you too”

It wasn’t an uncommon occurrence. You knew tomorrow you’d go through the same process. You knew you’d feel the same anger, frustration and ache. Knew that you’d put on one of his shirts or hoodies on for any sense of comfort. Knew that you’d cry and get lost in your thoughts. Knew that you’d swear that this was the last time this would ever happen. 

And deep down, you knew that you’d never really do it, because you’d fall right back into loving Akaashi Keiji again, just like all those times before.

[donghyuckcuyhgnod]

Would u be willing to have a follow up or pt 2 to guilt flavored cupcakes? If not, could i request a jisung angst that ends with fluff? Hehe 💚💚💚

i tried to fit both of your requests into one :) the beginning is realllyyyy angsty, but i promise it gets better! it’s a bit long, i got a little carried away haha,, but i hope you enjoy <3

(part one is located here.)

“this is all your fault!” jisung yelled, slamming the door he had just walked through, his eyes shining with tears and his voice shaky. out of surprise and shock, all twenty-two of his fellow members had their eyes blown wide. “if you assholes just kept your mouths shut, this wouldn’t be happening right now!”

“jisung, what are you talking about?” taeyong gently asked. even the choreographer had stopped in his tracks upon the youngest’s unexpected entrance.

“them!” he pointed to the dreamies, sitting on the floor in front of the mirror. confused, all of the boys rose their eyebrows. “the one thing that makes me happy—the one person that truly makes me happy isn’t mine anymore because of you,” he spit out harshly, pointing to the five boys who he had initially put the blame on. his phone was clutched tightly in his hands, still lit up and on the page of his call log; your name being at the top of the list. 

“jisung, what the hell are you talking about?” renjun asked, confusion laced in his voice. it wasn’t long before jisung’s bottom lip began quivering, tears streaming freely down his face as he let out an characteristically loud sob. “y/n broke up with me,” he choked out, shutting his eyes so tight as if he couldn’t bare to say those words. he dropped his phone on the ground, pulling at his hair in distress. 

jaemin rolled his eyes, “of course she did. we already warned you, jisung. she was using you for your idol status. think of this as a good thing.” the dreamies shook their heads in agreement. 

johnny spoke up, “guys, i don’t think now is a good time-”

“fuck you.”

silence. complete, utter, silence. jaemin—as well as the rest of nct—was speechless. never, in all their years of knowing jisung, had his members heard him cuss in such a bitter, hateful, and sincere way. shocked wasn’t even the word. 

“what did you just say to me?” jaemin’s eyes were wide, his jaw open in surprise. did he just say what i think he said? 

“you heard me loud and clear, jaemin. fuck you. fuck all five of you. you never gave her a fucking chance! all of you are always so mean to her, and for what? what did she ever do to you? you never even tried to like her. you would push her aside, say mean things straight to her face. you treated her like a goddamned criminal!” his tears were nonstop, cheeks a bright red and eyelids swollen from the constant tears. he sniffled, biting his lip in an attempt to control his sobs. 

“what did she say during the call?” doyoung asked cautiously, laying a comforting hand on the boy’s shoulder. jisung sniffled again, gaining enough composure to speak.

“sh-she called because her dress was ruined. the dress for the awards, y’know. i paid for it to be altered to her size, and she came by the dorm yesterday when i wasn’t there to pick it up. and she went to take it out of the bag today, and there was paint all over it! and it was ripped in a bunch of places, and when i asked her how she ruined it, she told me that it wasn’t her. but i know exactly who it was,” jisung deadpanned, his eyes growing dark as he looked at the five guilty boys sitting on the floor. their lack of response made the answer very clear to everyone in the room. 

kun sighed in disappointment, “what the hell is wrong with you guys?”

“it was her grandma’s dress.” jisung looked down at his feet, his eyes shining with tears again; and not because of the breakup. but rather, his mind went to the hurt in your voice when crying to him over the phone. “jisung, this dress is the only thing i had left of her. and now it’s completely ruined.”

“what?” chenle said. 

“it was her grandma’s dress. the woman who raised her, who died last year. it was her dress and it was the only thing y/n had left of her. and you fucking ruined it, and tore it to shreds! how fucked up are you guys!? she broke up with me because she can’t do it anymore. she can’t handle the way you treat her. she dealt with it for two years now, and this was the final straw. are you fucking happy now?”

the immediate guilt suddenly had everyone’s heart skipping a beat—and not in a good way. a series of flashbacks had appeared in their minds; all of the times when you were at the dorm, making jisung laugh until he couldn’t breathe. the countless times you brought him soup and cuddles when he wasn’t feeling good, or the small pep-talks you would give him before a performance that always seemed to calm him. the way you always cooked and cleaned around the dorm because you knew how hard jisung and his members worked. all the times he had gushed—and gushed some more—about how amazing you were and how much he loved you with the most joyful smile he had ever shown. 

“jisung, we-”

“save it.”

shit. we really fucked up.

—

a whole four-and-a-half weeks had passed when jeno called you. you weren’t expecting to see his name pop up on your phone, thus the reason you gasped out loud. you assumed he was calling to tell you how bad of a person you are for breaking up with jisung—so you didn’t answer. it’s not like you wanted to break up with him; the dreamies gave you no other choice. when haechan called not minutes later, however, you started to grow confused. surely they would give up, right? but then renjun called. and then, jaemin. and then, chenle. eventually, your curiosity got the best of you.

“hello?” you answered nervously, trying your absolute best to stabilize your voice. due to all the crying and frustration, however, your voice came out more hoarse and broken than intended. the other line was silent. 

“. . . chenle?” 

“meet me at the coffee shop next to the dorms in twenty minutes.”

“what? why?” you began, but the line had already gone dead. confused, you dragged yourself out of your bed and made yourself look presentable. well, as presentable as you could, considering the fact that you’d been hibernating in your room out of sadness for the past four weeks.

you arrived to the cafe with a heavy heart. you were sure your heart was going to burst out of your chest at the sight of the five boys who seemingly hated you, sitting around a table with one empty chair. you hesitantly walked in, the bell on the door gaining their attention. you smiled lightly at them out of habit. you sat down in silence, hugging your sweater a little tighter on instinct, feeling small under their gazes. they were surely going to scold you, right? i mean, you did just break their best friend’s heart. but yours was broken, too. 

the boys took in your appearance, and with one glance, they knew you were just as heartbroken as jisung. their younger friend had barely spoken since that day; he would perform and practice like always, but the minute the cameras were off, he was cold and distant. he locked himself in his room every night, forcing jaemin to sleep on the couch. he had barely eaten, his energy and passion dropping drastically due to a lack of motivation. even the fans had started suspecting the changes. he wasn’t acting himself.

haechan was the first to break the silence. “we’re sorry, y/n. . .” he spoke quietly, avoiding your eyes in shame and guilt. your eyes widened in surprise, a shocked huh? coming from your mouth. is this a joke? as if renjun read your mind, he answered your question.

“we’re serious. we never gave you a chance. we were so mean to you and we’re sorry for everything. truly sorry,” renjun said, a glint of sincerity in his eyes. the apology, in all honesty, pricked at a certain part of your heart. like a bandaid being ripped from a wound, and all it took was a gentle smile from jaemin before your eyes were watering. “especially about your grandma’s dress,” renjun added on in a guilty mutter, training his eyes downward. you flinched at his words, remembering the mess they made of your precious grandmother’s dress.

you sniffled, your tears flowing freely now as you cleared your throat. “you guys were just worried about jisung, it’s understandable-“ you began, before chenle cut you off.

“why are you so nice to us, y/n? we treated you like shit from day one for absolutely no reason, and you’re still being nice to us and making excuses for our behavior. we know we’re in the wrong, y/n. you don’t need to say anything.”

you gaped at him, before slowly nodding your head as you cried. you were surprised to feel a comforting hand on your shoulder, looking up and seeing a kind-smiled haechan through your tears. “seriously, why? you’re too kind, y/n.” you could only look at him, muttering a small, “because jisung loves you guys so much.”

your own words made you cry harder, lightly laughing at yourself out of nerves. “i’m sorry for crying like this,” you said, swiping at your red and puffy cheeks, trying to keep up with the vigorous tears.

jaemin lightly chuckled, “it’s no big deal. it’s no different than jisung, nowadays.” at this, your heart nearly ripped in half, and you felt a pain in your chest that you could only describe as excruciating. you looked up at him wide-eyed, stuttering over yourself, struggling to find the words.

“he’s a mess, y/n,” jeno spoke truthfully, his own eyes watering a bit at the thought of jisung cooped up in his room, crying himself to sleep every night. “don’t blame it on yourself. it’s not your fault. it’s ours,” he said.

your cries hadn’t stopped, the people around giving you weird looks and questioning eyes. “please talk to him, y/n,” chenle pleaded, eyeing you carefully. you quickly regained your composure, hiccups now replacing your cries. you thought for a moment, “what if he’s too upset with me? what if he wants nothing to do with me anymore?”

“trust us, y/n. he wants everything to do with you. he needs you.”

—

your hand shook as you lifted it up to the doorknob of the familiar practice room. you let out a shaky breath, closing your eyes in an attempt to gain back your composure. jisung and his members were leaving for tour in a few days, and you refused to let him leave without talking to him. you were planning to wait until nighttime, but as you sat in your room with your mind swirling, you couldn’t wait any longer.

you had finally gained the courage to open the door, but before you could, someone else beat you to it. mark looked at you with surprise, an unreadable expression on his face. you quietly greeted him, nervously picking at your nails as you shuffled on your feet.

“y/n? what are you doing here?” he spoke, his eyes softening at the clear distress on your face. you lightly peaked inside the practice room, and mark instantly got the hint. he quickly moved aside to make room for you, an encouraging smile on his face.

the world seemed to stop, then. the moment you walked into the room, jisung had caught your eyes in the mirror. his hair was disheveled, his eyes puffy, red, and tired. the bags under his eyes sadly matched yours, his face looking slimmer than normal and his figure hunched over in a sulk. his skin was red and uneven, a few stress pimples coating his forehead and his chin.

“y/n?” he spoke suddenly, his voice broken, and your eyes instantly teared up at the sound of his voice cracking. nearly everyone was staring at you wide-eyed, and you gulped nervously.

“i know this probably isn’t the best time, but i-i just. . . “ you trailed, losing your voice as you looked at the ground. you looked up again, jisung now facing you with a sad look in his eyes. you sighed, “can we talk?”

—

the door was closed and the boys couldn’t hear anything, but that didn’t stop them from looking through the small glass window. even their choreographer was trying to get a better view, all of them hoping and praying that you were here to get their maknae back. they could only see your face, jisung’s back to the door. you held his hands tightly in yours, your lips moving and tears flying freely down your face.

they couldn’t see jisung, but the way his shoulders shook vigorously was a clear indication that he, too, was sobbing. your regretful words and pleas of i love you more than anything, i’m such an idiot for breaking up with you sent daggers through jisung’s heart. your eyes screamed the words forgive me, please. and how was he to say no to you?

he nodded his head with intent, “i could never be mad at you for this, y/n. i’m such a coward for not sticking up for you-“

“don’t say that, park jisung. you did stick up for me. it’s all in the past now, okay? they. . . they apologized to me. they’re the reason i’m here right now,” you confessed, jisung’s eyes widening at your words.

“none of it matters now, i promise. please, can we forget this ever happened? i can’t be without you, baby,” you cried, the affectionate name sounding so familiar yet so foreign to jisung. it tugged at his heart strings, all strumming for you in every way possible. without hesitation, he nodded his head, a relieved smile taking over his features. 

you practically wailed in relief, taking his face in your hands and planting your lips on his in a passionate kiss; all of the emotions that the two of you had felt over the past weeks were being poured out, your pain matching each other’s in the most intimate and vulnerable way possible. the taste of your simultaneous tears didn’t matter in that moment; all that mattered was that you were his again, and he was yours.

“they’re kissing! i repeat, they’re kissing!” taeyong exclaimed, a series of happy and excited shouts filling the room as the members cheered for the both of you. jisung pulled away, only to look back and see a bunch of prying eyes through the window, all smiling and high-fiving each other at the scene before them. and the best part? the dreamies were the happiest of them all. you chuckled at them, causing jisung to look back at you in amazement.

“i love you so much, y/n. please never leave me again,” he whispered, burying his face in your neck and pulling you as close as he possibly could. your arms instinctively wrapped around his neck, closing your eyes in bliss and letting out a sigh of relief. “never again,” you assured both him, and yourself. you basked in his embrace. finally. you were home. he held you as if you were to disappear the second he let go, and in that moment, jisung concluded that losing you was his biggest fear.

[morgansmoreid]

Do You Still Love Me • Derek Morgan • Chapter Nine

Chapter Name: " Reasonable"

Fic Masterlist

Italic writing stands for flashbacks.

Content/Trigger Warnings: Parental Abuse, Drugs Mention, Homophobia

Bold Writing stands for what happened at the station while Y/n was not present

---

One step.

Two steps.

Three steps.

Four.

Y/n's feet clacked against the concrete floor.

Rubbing the palm of her hand against the outline of the pills, Y/n moved along the cars as she slowly walked to the station, this time her mind as empty as an open field.

The station was in her view quicker than anticipated. She pulled open the front door, the bell above it causing everyone who was in ear's views to turn their heads. Scanning each face carefully, relief swayed through Y/n as no face was anyone she dreaded to talk to.

Her relief was cut short as Aaron walked down the hall to her left with the team, her father, and James.

"That was all we needed to know," She heard him say as Aaron shook her father's hand.

James was the first to see her, alerting the rest of the people surrounding him by clearing his throat. Y/n made eye contact with James, her breaking first as her eyes fell to her feet. Thoughts of turning around and sprinting on her heels again popped in Y/n's head, but she ignored them and just looked to the floor.

"Y/n Y/L/N-Fields, please come with us." Emily moved from the center of the group and to Y/n, reaching out her hand to lead Y/n the way of the interrogation room. Y/n took it, keeping her head down as they walked past the group, eyes burning through her back as the pills in her pocket scream her name.

Emily opens the door and lets Y/n take a seat before heading outside again. Everyone is looking at the young female through the one-sided window, their eyes still leaving the same burning gaping hole.

Aaron and David come in, both faces stoic and tense. In hand, Aaron has a yellow pad and a pee cup while David has a blood test. Y/n's eyes grow wide at the objects placed in front of her before she sits up straight and lays her hands on the table.

"You aren't drug testing me." She says, her tone assertive but calm.

"But we are," David replies, looking over to Aaron.

"You understand that this is a federal investigation now? If you comply, these samples will not go on record but will be used for further inference. If you don't, they will go on your job record and you will be on leave effective immediately." Aaron threatened, leaving Y/n no choice.

"I'm clean." She mumbled as she rolled her sleeve for the blood test. Even if she wasn't, it wouldn't show for another 2 days, so it would be negative anyway.

Aaron said nothing as he opened the blood kit and wiped Y/n's inner arm with a sanitary wipe. Y/n winced at the needle entering her arm, the pain lasting as blood filled four tubes. Placing a bandaid on her arm, Aaron disposed of the needle in a different bag before opening the door and handing it to a hand outside.

Y/n may have not seen the person who took the bag, but she saw Derek. He was leaning against the wall across from the door, arms crossed. They made eye contact, this time neither one breaking it, just before the door closed.

"Do you need water?" David's voice pulled Y/n out of her thoughts.

Yes. Her throat was dry and scratchy.

Yes. Water would go well with the pills in her pocket.

"No thank you," Y/n looks up to David. He gives her the look of pity and sorrow and she feels herself hanging on by a thread.

"Come with me then," David holds the look as he turns around, cup in hand, and opens the door for Y/n.

Walking out, Y/n and David turn to the right from the small room while the team and others are on the left. David stands outside of the unisex bathroom as Y/n pees in the given cup. Washing her hands, Y/n stares at herself in the mirror.

Her eyes are red and her arm is now in pain. She feels like she's in one of those bad teenage romcoms, where the main character fucks up her life and in the end, it gets better. She's just waiting for her cue.

The silence lasts in the bathroom as Y/n bags her cup and places it on the small window ledge. She could run right now if she wanted to, but it wouldn't be worth it. Y/n turns on the bathroom faucet again and pulls out the baggie of pills from her pocket. 7 white tablets look at her as she takes one into her hand and shoves the rest back into hiding.

Just before she could bring her hand to her mouth and consume the evil, little miraculous wonder, David knocked on the door causing her to drop the pill in fright. Right into a puddle of "water," the pill went as Y/n hissed at the closed brown door.

"Fuck!" Her words echoed in the small room.

"Y/n? Is everything ok in there?" David's voice is muffled on the other side.

Instead of answering him, Y/n grabs the cup and pushes open the door, slamming the cup into the elder's hand and walking back into the integration room. She passes everyone, this time not bothering to even acknowledge Derek's presence, or his attempt to talk to her.

She slacks down in her seat and waits for the next person to walk through the door. It's Aaron again, with Penelope's laptop and a tape recorder in hand as he carries a file in his armpit.

"Before we start, shall I address you as Fields or Y/L/N?" Aaron precautions.

"Y/L/N, and only Y/L/N," Y/n says, voice cold as ice.

"Ok then, for the record, can you please state your full name, your age, and the year?" The first question leaves Aaron's lips.

"My name is Y/n Y/L/N, I am 29, and it's the year 2008."

Hotch scribbles Y/n's words down and opens the laptop. When he turns it to her, it's already open to a cheer photo from Y/n's sophomore year of high school.

"Please state who you recognize in this photo." Aaron opens the file that was once under his arm.

Eyes read the screen multiple times as the memories resurface in Y/n's head and the names leave her mouth.

"Sabrina Chains, Joanna McCarter, Daisy Miller, Rose Henry, Arianna Anderson, Megan Smith, Daniela Choi, Christina Middleton, and Catarina Paredes."

It's not in order, Sabrina is actually next to Daisy and Joanna is standing next to Daniela, but when Y/n recognized the face, she said the name.

"And who is this?" Aaron hits the right arrow key to move to the next slide. Y/n is horrified by what she sees. It's not another group picture or even a single picture of one of the women, it's a crime scene photo.

It's Arianna's crime scene photo, the only crime Y/n wasn't surrounded by the group for. The hotel room is way messier than others, the behavior completely changed from the last 3. Blood is everywhere, money and jewelry are splattered across the floor and there are no numbers on top of the body or anywhere for that matter. If the other kills weren't personal, this was. Arianna was killed by someone in rage and mixed emotion.

Just how Y/n left the team.

She can only look at the gruesome crime scene for so long until she reaches for the hood of the laptop to shut it off. Aaron is quicker and pulls it out of her sight as he switches to another picture of the crime scene, this time the bathroom.

Two looks and Y/n is ready to throw up. She trained for this, she worked her ass off for the last 5 years on how to keep her composure, yet, she's failing to keep herself together. The bathroom is a mess, clothes are ripped and makeup is smeared on walls, this unsub lost control or this is a new killer. Either way, it's not Y/n and there is no way that the team can possibly deem her that low.

"Please turn it off." Her voice is tense and demanding.

Aaron does shut the laptop and turns it to him. He takes a minute to write down his observations and proceeds with the integration further.

"When you left the Police Station, you were gone for 2 hours and 13 minutes, where did you go?" He asks, writing down the question as he says it.

"James, where is she?" David asks, handing Spencer a miniature Newton's cradle to calm him down.

Everyone looks at James for an answer. After Y/F/N was questioned, he and James were separated for the sake of the case. James was working on a different case file, wrapping it up on the end of the conference table while the team focused on Y/n.

"I'm not positively sure," James lied, rubbing the back of his neck as his handwriting started to get sloppy against the manila folder and its contents inside.

"Well, where do you think?" Derek spoke, his tone snappy and agitated.

After Y/F/N gave up his truth about Y/n's past and her drug problems, Derek was also questioned, not officially, just about how much he knew and what he wasn't letting on. Derek was honest with Hotch and the team, telling them he had no idea about Y/n's problem. Yes, it was true sometimes it intrigued him when they had date night and she never drank anything besides sparkling water, but when she blamed it on "past issues," he assumed it ran in the family.

He assumed because he trusted her.

And she broke that.

"Michael? The guy that Chief Fields couldn't stand? He lived right over here." James gets up and points to the computer screen. Y/n's last coordinates were still up so he dragged his pen across the screen, measuring out the distance for the team as he landed on the only colorful house in satellite view.

"I thought Michael was who introduced her into the drugs in the first place?" Aaron walks over to James.

"It's not really his fault, I've always told Y/n that she could've said no," James responds, becoming silent from everyone's glare at him.

"Saying no isn't easy," Derek mumbles, so low, no one heard him.

No one could say anything as another policeman came into the room frantically about a new body.

Y/n had only been gone 34 minutes at most. There was no way it could be her so quickly, but that didn't stop everyone's thoughts from going to the deep end.

As the team flies into the SUVs, Aaron orders Penelope to keep watch on Y/n's coordinates and dig very thoroughly of the lives of the 9 women, 5 now potential victims.

"Someone has it out for these women, and I wouldn't put it past that Y/n is the glue." He said, tightening his holster.

"I just walked around, took time to clear my head." Y/n lied.

Everyone knew where she was, but Aaron didn't call her out on her false truth and asked the next question.

"When was the last time you purchased any narcotics of the sort, Opioids, Cannabinoids, Hallucinogens, and or Stimulants?" Aaron asked, unsure he wanted to hear the answer himself.

"Last time I was in town, 5 years ago." Y/n lies again.

This time, half of the team is unsure if it's true. James knows deep down it's a lie, but the rest of them don't want to believe it.

So Aaron doesn't push.

"And the last time you consumed any of the narcotics listed before?"

This question, everyone wants the truth, everyone is determined to figure out if they let another team member sink into their addiction before their eyes or if Y/n truly did put her life here behind her.

"As I said, last time I was in town, 5 years ago," Y/n says, her tone changing. It speaks of truth, which tells everyone, even her father that she lied about the last time she bought drugs and where she was, but they don't care about that at this moment.

All they care about is her sobriety, they were still her family after all.

Aaron smiles internally as he writes Y/n's answer on the yellow pad, then ripping the sheet off and sliding it underneath the cardboard. When he does this, the next yellow sheet visible is not blank, it's all of Y/F/N's previous questions. The horrible lights make it hard to see all of them but it still shines bright on the first one.

"What was discipline like as Y/n grew up?" Aaron asks his first question.

The question throws Y/F/N off guard. That had nothing to do with the investigation, what did the FBI want to know about his parenting?

"I believe you were asked a question," David says beside Aaron, arms crossed.

"This has to do what with the investigation?" Y/F/N asked, finally understanding the concept of what he was being asked.

"Agent Hotchner, are you implying that I abused my daughter?" He accused, now not feeling so compliant.

"I didn't say anything to imply, did I, Agent Rossi?" Aaron says loud and clear, bringing the tape recorder to him.

"Not at all, but I think you should repeat it, someone seems confused," Rossi taunted.

"Y/F/N Fields, what was discipline like as Y/n, your daughter grew up?" Aaron demanded an answer.

"Reasonable," Y/F/N said.

"Reasonable how?" Rossi pressed.

"If needed, I taught my daughter wrong from right," Y/F/N replied confidently.

"Did you at any given point in time, use your power as a parent to hit Y/n as a punishment?" Aaron asked bluntly. He hated abusers, it was something about finding pain and taking it out on others that he just could never understand.

"I did. But like I said when it was reasonable." His mouth forms into an undeniable smirk.

Y/F/N's hand went across Y/n's face.

"I said I was sorry!" The girl cried, she was only trying to show her dad an A+ she got.

"You're always sorry, there was no reason for you to knock that down." The angry male pointed to the empty cup on the floor.

Out of excitement, Y/n's elbow hit the plastic cup and knocked it down, but she was backed into the wall before she could pick it up, dropping her graded test midway.

"Reasonable," Y/F/N mumbled to himself.

Anger filled Y/n as her eyes went over the word reasonable.

Never once was Y/F/N reasonable.

Never.

Clenching her fists, Y/n sits up straight and zones back into her conversation with Aaron.

"Can you ask it again?" She says, making straight eye contact.

"Your relations to Daniela Choi?" Aaron asks.

Y/n doesn't know how to reply, she knows Derek is watching so she has to careful with her answer.

"I was-," She gathers her thoughts. "We were pretty close."

It's not a lie. They were close, extremely.

"Who would you say Y/n was closest to?" Aaron asks James.

The team started the investigation from the very beginning, so now everyone was a suspect.

"I've got a funny feeling about that dude, Hotch," Derek says, but his judgment is clouded, he's angry and hurt so to make him feel better, Aaron took James in for questioning.

"Daniela." James's answer is short.

"Why?"

"They dated, for a long time, blew up our whole group," James explains.

"What group?" Aaron flies through the files that he brought in.

Instead of answering, James takes out a picture.

"He's prepared." JJ points out.

The picture is a cheer team, James is nowhere to be found but the first person to catch Aaron's eye is the babyface of Y/n, she in middle, engulfed in a hug by a female with curly mixed hair- Arianna he later finds out. He wants to question why James has this but James continues to talk.

"Not everyone was supportive."

"What?" Rose asked.

"I'm dating Y/n," Daniela said slowly, it was time the two told their friends, the thought of banishment slipping their minds.

"You and Y/n? But your both girls!" Rose exclaimed, as the pastor's daughter, she was raised to what she thought was right.

"So? My mom said it doesn't matter and we both know Y/F/N won't bat an eye." Daniela spoke for both her and Y/n.

"Guys! Help me out here, tell them it's wrong." Rose looked around the booth, empty cups filled the large table as her high pitch voice filled the empty diner.

"How is it wrong?" Caterina scoffed, she could never have the courage to do what Danny and Y/n are doing but she'll stand by them no matter what.

"The bible-" Rose protests.

"For the last time, not all of us live by the damn bible!" James slammed his hand on the teal table before them.

Everyone loved each other, no one cared for anyone's flaws, like Rose's, who always ignored everyone when they try to tell her they don't want to hear bible quotes, or Y/n who always inserts herself into drama.

They were each other's little family and until now nothing has torn them apart.

"I refuse to be around them and their sins," Rose shoved her finger into Y/n's, finally the young girl to stand up.

"And we refuse to be around you." Y/n's tone is cold and tense.

"We all do." Arianna stood up.

"Christina?" Rose looked at the oldest for help.

"You heard them, you can't hate one without hating all of us." She said.

Christina's word was final. If she said someone was out, they were out, no discussion. She just had to say the words.

"Rose, are you staying or leaving?" She asked.

"I'm leaving, my dignity lasts." Rose proudly held her head high.

"Bye then. You longer are allowed to hang out with us." Christina said with much more pride.

The 10 at the table watched the first walk away.

"Not everyone agreed." James rephrased his sentence, fists clenching in anger.

As James told Aaron how the day that Rose left the group went, his fingers dug deeper into his hand, and when he finally let go, crescent marks left their place.

"When you say close, what do you mean?" Aaron wants to hear from Y/n, James is not trustworthy enough right now.

"I had a relationship with Daniela," Y/n admits.

Hearing the words makes Derek turn on his heels and leave the group in the hall. He needs air, he needs to be away from Y/n right now. He told her he was sorry about her friend and she just went with it, in his eyes, she lied to him.

She did the one thing that he always asked not to.

"Derek?" Spencer's voice called from behind him.

"Not now," Derek says, but it's more of a plead. He doesn't want to take his anger out on someone who doesn't deserve it, he wants to take his anger out on Y/n.

Spencer leaves him alone and Derek takes a few minutes to himself. When he heads back to the station, he refuses to join back with the group, he heads back to the table in the conference room and starts working, the way his handwriting fills each paper and picture easing his mind.

As the minutes feel like hours, Y/n's interview is finally done and she feels bare. She hates how much she revealed, she hates how much has been stripped, how her walls came down and she had no say.

She hates most of her answers were lies that found their way into her truth.

But she won't tell them that, they don't need to know.

They don't get to know.

Aaron lets Y/n head to the hotel first, but when she steps outside, it's dark. Her phone is dead and her body is tired, yet her feet take her to the hotel doors, they let her step into the elevator and into her room. Her hands ache but they plug her phone in and they pull her shirt off. Her hands ache but they turn the knobs of the shower and unbutton her pants. Her legs hurt but they step out of the jeans and help her feet kick them to the side. Her body is a temple of pain but as she removes her bra and underwear, as she steps in the shower, as her fingers run over her body and squeeze the soap out of her cloth out, letting it slide down her figure, she finds her self sitting in the middle of her bed, the air silent where she finally lets her self cry.

So many years of bottling up feeling, so many years of trauma, and it took 34 questions to strip her of who she was. Every single question she counted, every single time she felt betrayed, she counted, her life was out there to know, memories she hid taunt her.

A knock on her door pulls her out of her thoughts.

When she gets up, she takes notice of the black shirt she was wearing 24 hours ago. The feeling of Derek's hand run up and down her body in chills as she walks closer to the door.

24 hours ago everything was peaceful.

Now it's a shithole.

Cracking open the door, Y/n is surprised, to say the least. Both people are silent as she opens the door more and lets the person step in.

"Derek-" She tries.

"No. You don't get to talk. It's your turn to listen." He says, meaning every fucking word.

[smells-like-mettaton]

Perhaps Toriel and Alphys interacting?

Gift of Truth

Rating: G Word Count: 1310 Prompt: #23 weight of the world (randomly generated) Read on AO3: here Notes: Pretty sure this was for an art request a long time ago but I never got around to it, so I hope you don't mind that I did a fic instead! (If you even remember sending this ask lol)

---

There was no right way to do this. Alphys had talked herself into and out of it endless times, ever since they reached the surface four months ago.

It was too soon. It was too late. It wouldn’t make a difference. It would make too much of a difference, crush the former queen’s newly healed soul into dust.

Alphys probably would’ve put off the decision forever, but Undyne had started to worry. And everyone knew what happened the last time Alphys had tried to keep a secret of this magnitude. Everyone would’ve been better off if she’d just told the truth about the amalgamates from the beginning, right? So if she told the truth now… even though it was late… it would have to be better than not telling it at all.

Gosh, she hoped it would be better.

Alphys didn’t have to open the lab doors for Toriel. She’d had automatic doors installed in her new lab, just like her old one. It saved her a lot of hassle when she brought armfuls of old parts up from the dump—or, in more recent times, when she hauled new equipment or DVDs in from the nearest electronics store. Just one more incredible thing about the surface.

“My apologies, Alphys. I had to stay late to talk to a parent,” Toriel said as she strolled elegantly to Alphys’s desk. Even in slacks rather than her royal robes, she cut an imposing figure.

“I-it’s fine!” She had just panicked for the past thirty minutes, slowly driving herself insane, but that was about what she deserved for keeping this secret for so long. “I, um, why don’t you sit down?”

Toriel raised an eyebrow.

...Right. There was only one chair. The one Alphys was sitting in.

Alphys hopped up, offering it to Toriel, who now looked more bemused (and maybe a little embarrassed) than anything.

“It is quite alright, Doctor Alphys. I am no longer your queen, nor have I ever been. I apologize if I gave you the impression of expecting such formalities.” She sighed, her gase sweeping across the ground. Her paws folded in front of her. “I should also apologize for how I treated you before. Even if you did terrible things under Asgore’s direction… you were able to heal families wounded beyond repair.”

One paw brushed something off of her pant leg. Alphys would’ve recognized that white-gray goop anywhere.

“You—you met with Snowdrake’s mother,” she realized. Crystal was the only amalgamate who had a school-aged child.

“Yes.” Toriel smiled fondly. “She is a wonderful, sweet woman. She cares for Snowdrake deeply, and has been willing to volunteer at the school any time we need help. Just today she was discussing plans to organize a talent show for the children. She believes it would help Snowdrake—oh, excuse me! I am rambling.”

She chuckled, and Alphys gave a nervous little laugh in response. This was… good? Toriel didn’t hate her? Well, Alphys knew she didn’t hate hate her, because Toriel let Frisk come over and watch anime sometimes, but—well, Toriel had never used her title before. Toriel was the one who revoked the title of “Doctor” in the first place, even if she’d technically lacked the authority to do so. It didn’t really matter, because humans didn’t acknowledge monster degrees anyway.

“What was it that you called me for?” Toriel returned to the point. Her expectant gaze weighed on Alphys like an anvil in one of those ancient human cartoons.

“I-I was just, you know…” Alphys tapped her claws together, but even the rhythmic clicks couldn’t soothe her. Sparks started to fly between her fingers unbidden.

Toriel’s brows lifted in sympathy, and suddenly the weight wasn’t so unbearable.

“Is something bothering you, my—” Toriel cut herself off, but Alphys could guess what she was about to say. My child. It was how she most often addressed Frisk.

“No! I mean, y-yeah, but it’s—it’s my own fault.” Alphys’s claws dug into the back of her hand. The magical sparks finally went out.

Toriel waited patiently. Alphys really did feel like a child, trying to squeeze the words past the tightness in her throat.

“I-it’s about Flowey. I… you should know, he’s…” Alphys swallowed. Best to just rip the bandaid off, metaphorically speaking.

“He’s your son. He’s Asriel.”

Alphys looked up with a wince. She wasn’t sure what expression she expected to find on Toriel’s face. Horror? Confusion? Disbelief?

At first Toriel just looked blank. Slowly, her mouth flattened to a thin line, her fangs jutting out from under her upper lip.

“That… does explain some things.”

“W-what?” Alphys gaped.

“He has always known things I couldn’t explain. My favorite snail recipes. How my oldest human child would fill their water to the brim of their cups. And he is rather averse to the idea of me dating anyone but Asgore, no matter how clear I have made it that we will never get back together.” She gave an affectionate snort.

Alphys forced a grin. Well, there went one folder full of fanfiction. But! Other than that, this was—this was good!

“W-well! Then! Glad you’re, um...”

“Not ‘freaking out’?” Toriel asked.

“Hehe…”

“I certainly am. Freaking out, I mean.” She chuckled. “For all of their similarities, Flowey is also far less… civil, than Asriel used to be. Unless he… well, I suppose I never did truly understand my children.”

Tears leaked from Toriel’s eyes. This time, when Alphys slid the desk chair behind her, she collapsed into it.

“I—I am sorry.” She sniffed. “I am not usually a crier. And truly, this is wonderful news. My child… reunited with me. However you accomplished Flowey’s creation, I must thank you for that.”

Though her eyes were still wet, her smile was sincere.

“I’m still sorry,” Alphys said quietly. “I didn’t know what the determination would do to him. I didn’t know it was a him at all. I was just—trying to break the barrier without hurting anyone. And I… I didn’t know Asriel’s dust was on the flower, on Flowey, and, I-I messed up so bad! Your son doesn’t have a soul, Toriel!”

It was the wrong thing to blurt out, but Toriel took it gracefully.

“I know. He truly has matured despite his condition, has he not?” Her lips curled wryly.

“But—!”

“Doctor Alphys.” Toriel placed a hand on her shoulder. “We all changed while trapped underground. We suffered pains that no one should have to bear. You felt tasked with the same responsibility that my children did—the responsibility of breaking the barrier on your own.”

Alphys’s eyes widened. Toriel knew? Had she seen the videos of Chara and Asriel that Alphys had found? Alphys hadn’t taken them to the surface with her; anything could’ve happened to them. It didn’t seem like Toriel to go through someone else’s things, though… even if they were technically her things.

“I cannot imagine the stress that Asgore placed on you, or that you placed on yourself. You hurt many monsters, truly. But you also healed many. Including my son.”

Tears pricked Toriel’s eyes again, but this time she smiled widely, a bleating laugh escaping her.

“My son is alive!” She exclaimed again, as if just realizing for the first time.

She scooped Alphys up in a hug that threatened to crush her.

“Uh—! T-toriel—!”

Another laugh, and then Toriel set her back down. Alphys’s face was still hot.

“S-so, you, um, forgive me…?” She asked quietly.

“Yes, Doctor. I forgive you, and I thank you.”

With those words, the weight of the world lifted from Alphys’s shoulders.

“Now if you will excuse me, I must be getting home to my children.” Toriel beamed again. “My children! Hee hee!”

Alphys watched the automatic doors slide shut behind Toriel, and she finally allowed a real smile of her own.

[backalley-requests]

The Proposal | Chapter Seven

The Proposal Masterlist

Summary: Proposal au, where Ivar gets swept away in a lie about a fake engagement to stay in the country and needs to convince everyone (including his family) that he’s genuinely engaged to a woman he works with

Warnings: mild swearing (I think)

Word Count: 3,022

“I was thinking,” Aslaug began. Most of the family was seated at a large table, breakfast on display and on their plates. “Me and Ragnar have talked it over, and we agree it’s in everyone’s best interest to have the wedding here,” she grinned.

The bacon in your hand never reached your open mouth as your eyebrows raised in confusion. Now? It felt entirely too soon, you looked at Ivar. He was seated next to you and appeared uneasy.

“Just think about it. Ivar, this is the first time you’ve come home in seven years. Who knows when’s the next time we’ll have an opportunity like this? And most of our family is here for your father’s birthday. He said he was more than on board with the idea.” Aslaug seemed so excited.

It wasn’t that you didn’t want to have a wedding. You already knew you would, but having it so soon made the whole thing more real. It used to be an abstract concept and now was a lot more.... here. “I think we’d have to talk about it,” Ivar replied cautiously.

Up until now it was mostly just playing pretend. You knew what you signed up for but this hit different. “But maybe?” You offered to soften the blow. Your leg bounced nervously under the table, and you found that your appetite was gone.

“I’ll let you two talk it over,” Aslaug decided with a nod of her head. “But it just makes sense. And it’d be a pity if I couldn’t be there for it.”

—

“We have to do it at some point, right?” You brought up when you entered the room again. You two were doing this. A lot was on the line. “Your family would hate if they weren’t there,” you bit your lower lip.

“Did you want to do it here then?”

Doing it here would make it feel more real. “I expected to get court papers and go back to my apartment and not notice a difference.” A wedding was something much more official.

Ivar nodded his head. “I’m okay with doing it now. The work will be done for us, mor has been dying to set up a wedding for a while.”

Were you okay with it? “Sure,” you nodded your head. “Maybe it’s better to just rip the bandaid off.” You shook your hands and limbs to get the nervous feeling out of you. Your stomach was twisted in all sorts of knots. Why was it so nerve wrecking now?

“You don’t have to describe our wedding as painful,” Ivar rolled his eyes.

“I’m just nervous!” You shot back quickly. Maybe part of it was that you still had the interviewer left, you forgot about him most of the time. Or maybe it was that you weren’t sure you had done enough yet.

“It’ll be a few hours of your life and we can just go back to our respective lives. Go back to normal.”

That was it. You didn’t like the idea of that. Before you came here it was easy to get the papers and pretend it didn’t happen. “You’re right, back to normal.” He would just be your boss you were legally married to. Tentative friendship aside, you couldn’t imagine going out for coffee with him. Once you two didn’t have to pretend anymore you just… wouldn’t.

“So then let’s just say yes?”

You nodded your head. “It’ll be kinda fun to dress up,” you laughed.

—

One agreement after another, neither you were sure you were entirely comfortable with. Why didn’t you say no earlier? That it was happening too fast, or that you didn’t love lying to his family.

There wasn’t a high stakes excuse, he just seemed like he wanted it and for whatever reason you agreed. But the sooner you ran through the wedding the sooner it would be over.

“Are you alright, dear,” Aslaug asked you in town. She had taken you there along with a woman named Torvi. She was married to Ubbe, as far as you could recall.

“I’m good! Just nervous,” you replied with an awkward laugh. A woman was gathering your measurements, an act that already lent itself to making one feel self conscious. You also didn’t really know anyone you were with.

Ivar wasn’t allowed inside, maybe that was for the best. Aslaug said something about it being bad luck and you didn’t bother fighting it. “Don’t be. It gets easier with each wedding, but everyone's a little nervous,” Torvi tried to calm you down. “People won’t gossip for years about if you tripped over your dress, or if your makeup was off, or if the dress didn’t match your—“ her listing things off that you never considered only increased your fears and Aslaug noticed.

“Torvi, dear, I think you’re making things worse.”

“I’m fine,” you insisted.

“All that really matters is what Ivar thinks of you. You don’t really know anyone else there, and therefore their opinions of you don’t matter,” Aslaug countered.

Torvi nodded her head. “And if he wants to marry you then you must be special. Especially after what happened with—“ Once again, Aslaug made the girl stop talking with a quick wack to her arm. “I’m just saying he’s clearly head over heels. He won’t sweat the small details.”

“What happened with who?” Curiosity was piqued. Ivar didn’t delve into personal details. It made sense, you two were hardly friends at best, but that didn’t make you any less curious. “Sorry— he just doesn’t talk about Denmark often.”

Aslaug and Torvi looked between each other for a moment until Aslaug sighed and threw her hands in the air. “Fine. But I don’t want to be here for it. It just makes me angry.” She walked out of the room and left you standing with Torvi.

“Ivar was in one other serious relationship I can recall. Sure, I think he had some affairs with a few girls but nothing real until Freydis. Nothing after her either, until you,” Torvi nodded her head.

You were changing in between suggested dresses, attempting new styles at an incredibly slow pace. Torch helped carry the weight of some dresses and zipped up the back every time. “What happened to her then?”

“Well she was beautiful and kind. He was madly in love. I’ve never seen him so love sick.”

There was no comfort that he had looked at you like that— not that you should’ve expected that. You shook her head back to reality as fast as you could. Of course Ivar looked at someone he actually loved differently than someone who just worked for him.

“Anyways, he had a whole proposal planned out. She turned him down and didn’t give a real reason why. We didn’t find out for a while,” Torvi admitted. “I think it was because she didn’t qualify for a US visa. Ivar was willing to drop his dreams of New York for her and she didn’t seem okay with that, something about not wanting him to change his entire life for her.”

You were silent the whole time. You never saw Ivar date people. You’d have known if he had in the last three years. It made sense why any short term flings didn’t last.

Torvi laced together a dress. “I wasn’t sure he’d recover— until you. So all’s well that ends well, right?” She leaned over your shoulder and grinned at you. “I wouldn’t worry too much about her. Aslaug just resents Freydis for breaking his heart. But I haven’t even seen her around here in years. She’s hardly a boogeyman.”

Why did that bother you so much? If Ivar was secretly in love with some other woman the entire time it shouldn’t matter. She turned him down anyways. But it did bother you. Ivar didn’t mention his past and you had to wonder if Freydis was why.

“I think this dress looks lovely by the way,” Torvi complimented.

—

The day just seemed so fast. Nothing was seemingly capable of slowing down information as it was thrown at you. It didn’t seem to get any better when you finally left the store, a dress sent in for alterations, to find Ivar at the nearby cafe you left him at talking to someone you haven't seen before.

“Ivar!” You smiled. Aslaug and Torvi had shooed you away while they worked on ‘something’. You heard through their whispers it had to do with a bachelorette party. The idea wasn’t exactly fun but they were too nice to turn town, so you already knew you’d agree with whatever they had to say.

You glanced over at the woman, she was beautiful and maybe that was why you felt the strong urge to sit incredibly close to Ivar. “Y/N, this is an old friend of mine, Freydis.” That made things instantly worse. The warm smile on your face turned cold.

“Hi, I’m Y/N,” you extended your hand to shake hers. Even her hand was soft and warm. You turned your head to face Ivar, seeing an urge to do something.

What if Ivar realized he didn’t need to return to the US if Freydis was here. You could go to prison, or lose your job at best. The man needed his priorities straight. Oh— who were you kidding! Freydis hadn’t even done anything other than show up today and now.

They spoke in Danish, only occasionally letting you into the conversation. You understood fragments of it. They were talking about their time at university, growing up together, when they dated. You were ignored and isolated from their chats and it bothered you.

Maybe you wouldn’t have cared at all if Torvi didn’t ignite a fear that Ivar was still in love with her. But he was already so much more animated and kind to her than he usually was with you.

“We’re being a bit rude to your girlfriend, aren’t we?” Freydis brought it up at some point, speaking in English for your sake.

“It’s fine,” you smiled awkwardly, waving it off.

“She’s not really my girlfriend,” Ivar admitted. “It’s complicated. She’s just a good friend. She’s helping me stay in America and get my citizenship official.”

You froze, every muscle in your body tensing up at once. Freydis laughed at the absurdity of it. “Then you must be incredibly kind as you are beautiful to deal with him. Ivar certainly has a knack for the dramatics, doesn’t he,” she smiled at you.

You took a deep breath and smiled back. “He also seems to have a habit of bad judgement calls. Ivar— I don’t care if she knows but the point of a secret is not sharing it where anyone can hear. Your mom and Torvi are in the same district right now. What if they were behind us?” You snapped.

Ivar frowned his eyebrows at you, “It’s not a big deal. Freydis wouldn’t share it and they aren’t here. Do you honestly think I’d be that reckless?”

“If I can’t share it with anyone how come you get to without discussing it,” you demanded. It bothered you. A lot. “We’re supposed to be a team.”

Freydis shifted uncomfortably, “I think this is my cue to go. Obviously things are a little tense. Look, I promise you two that I won’t go around sharing this.” She stood up and collected her things.

“I think that’s a good idea. You’re fine, Freydis. My issue is with my not-boyfriend,” you admitted, anger evident in your tone.

“Good luck with the wedding,” Freydis waved before leaving. Her walk was a little faster than a normal one.

“What the hell was that,” Ivar demanded the moment Freydis was out of ear shot. He turned to face you and it was the first time he looked at you since you showed up. His eyes were intense and narrowed in anger.

Your jaw tightened, “I should be asking you the same question. Why were you even talking to her? Let alone telling her our entire plan. You realize that I go to prison if it gets out, right? You can stay here and live out your perfect fantasy but I rot in a cell!” You stood up and wanted to leave.

“I’m not going to blow anything up! Freydis won’t tell. We’ll get married as we planned, divorced in three years. No one gets hurt.”

But you already were. And you couldn’t identify why.

“Oh and who’s gonna believe that we’re a real couple getting married if they just see something like that! You ignored me the entire time just to stare at her perfectly symmetrical face!”

Ivar’s face went from anger to confusion for a moment. “No one saw it. I’m not bringing her to my home or reintroducing her. It was one interaction. What’s wrong with me wanting to see an old friend.”

“But she’s not just your friend, right,” you reminded him.

Ivar froze and hesitated to respond for a moment. “How do you know that?”

You tried to calm down but you could feel yourself spiraling. “Torvi told me about her at the dress fitting. Everything she knew.” You bit your bottom lip, Ivar remained silent. “I’m your fiancée! Okay? So just— just stop looking at her!” You didn’t understand why it bothered you so much. You hoped it was just for appearances. “I just need this to go well. We’re supposed to be working together. That wasn’t together.”

“What happened to wanting to not argue,” Ivar challenged. “And over her? I haven’t seen Freydis in a long time. It’s not like I’m proposing to her.” Tears threatened to leave your eyes and Ivar’s face fell. “Whoa— hey, Y/N. It’s okay. I didn’t do anything. I don’t love her, I was just catching up. I didn’t think it would matter so much.”

You didn’t either. “Maybe.” You didn’t really have a right to care beyond him telling Freydis who you actually were. And if you were being honest that isn’t what you really minded. “I don’t know why it does. Things are just happening fast. I keep losing control over my life right now.”

Ivar wasn’t good at trying to comfort people, he awkwardly placed a hand on your shoulder and patted it. “You should’ve said something. I would’ve tried to help.”

You laughed softly and shook your head. “Yesterday you told me that you would've helped me if I asked for it.”

Ivar rolled his eyes, “well I lied. You should be used to that by now.”

“I don’t like her,” you admitted, “she’s way too nice.” There was nothing genuine to hate her for. She didn’t step on your toes or was rude. “I can’t even imagine you dating her. She doesn’t look like she could bite back.”

Ivar found it a little amusing. “I didn’t usually bite at her to begin with. Not that you’d know. Torvi shouldn’t have said anything. It wasn’t her place— and nor was it mine to tell Freydis the truth.”

“At least you admit it.” So what gripe could you have left?

“Were you jealous,” Ivar asked suddenly.

“No!” Your face got red at the idea. “Of course not. How could I be jealous of that?” Were you jealous?

“Okay,” he nodded his head. “Then I’ll just put this out there. As friends. I’m choosing to marry you. Not her, you. If I wanted to have married Freydis I would’ve.”

For some reason the words calmed you down a bit more. “Not that you could’ve, she's way too beautiful for you.” You found yourself easily relaxing into petty insults.

“You’re just jealous she’s better looking than you.” He knew a new way to get under your skin and didn’t hesitate to take a shot at you.

Your face fell.

“Just because I made a poor choice in who I choose to marry doesn’t it isn’t true. It’s my legs that are broken, not my eyes.”

“You are so mean!” Your voice filled with a bit of dramatic hurt.

“You insulted me first. And if I’m being honest, I’ve been incredibly patient with you today. So I deserved to say it. You went off on me for no reason. If you were anyone else I would’ve said something to actually hurt you,” Ivar replied. “Like how you have no family. Or you’re only so jealous because no one’s ever truly loved you the way you believe I love her— something to that effect.”

That’s when it occurred to you that Ivar didn’t respond like he normally would. Like he used to. He tolerated your display of anger and worked with you rather than get defensive and attack in any meaningful way.

“This is the part where you apologize,” Ivar nodded to you. “Or at least thank me.”

You didn’t want to. “You’re right,” you sighed. “Thanks.”

Ivar shrugged, “you’ve tolerated me when I’ve gotten angry over nothing. I figured I’d return the favor.” He took a moment before deciding to share more. “I broke up with her, by the way. Before I left. I decided that being here and knowing her was all I knew. I haven’t loved her for a long time. I certainly wouldn’t lose my job over her.”

Your eyes locked with his. “Torvi made it sound like—“

“None of them know. That’s why you don’t rely on rumors, Y/N. You could’ve just asked.” He didn’t seem to mind it. “You went off the rails today,” Ivar sipped his coffee and he eyed you. He was calm about it too. As if he didn’t mind this simple truth.

“I’m sorry.” It all seemed really dumb right now. “You’re right. It’s just all been… a lot. Things are moving fast. I thought you were just another thing running ahead of me.”

“You’re supposed to be the one keeping me in check,” Ivar teased. “It’s strange being the sane one for once.”

You rolled your eyes, “I slipped up once. Don't expect it to happen again.”

But that didn't solve the nagging in the back of your mind. Why was that the final straw?

—

taglist** @youbloodymadgenius @heavenly1927 @momowhoo

[writer-k-pop]

Because of a Rude Biker

난 다시는 작은 길을 걷지 않을 거야. I’m never walking down tiny roads again.

Description: You’ve met him and a couple of his friends quite a few times before. But this once was different. And because of a rude biker, and some perfect timing, his true identity is revealed and new friendships are made. Warnings: Reader gets scraped up a bit. Genre: Angst, Fluff, Idol!Vernon x Fem!Reader Word Count: 2.7k

Seventeen Masterlist | Masterlists

"Here, this is my number." Chuhan said while writing on a napkin. The summer heat was beating down on our heads and our drinks had condensation running down the glass. We both had our phones, yes, but in the moment we ignored the fact for the simple gesture of handing his number to me before he left with Minseok and Myungho. "I'm going to be busy for the next few months so I don't know if I'll be able to get over here much."

I smile and remember the first few times I saw him.

It was a few months ago. I had been frequenting a nice courtyard near a musical theatre that had a coffee cart and tables to seat at and spend sometime in the sun, doodling, journaling, or doing whatever I desired that day. I was doodling the theatre building because it was a cool looking building and I wanted to try my hand at drawing prospectives (it wasn't good, but it was worth the practice). A random guy sitting at the same long table with some of his friends had leaned over and started up a conversation with me. The random guys ended up being Minseok, Chuhan, and Myungho. We started chatting and then the next time I went, they showed up too. And the next time. And the next time. It kind of became a thing that we did. Sometimes Minseok and/or Myungho didn't show up. But Chuhan always did. It never really occurred to us to exchange phone numbers until today.

A pout forms on my lips as I begin to worry about Chuhan and his friends/coworkers.

"I hope they're not too busy." I murmur to myself adjusting my mask as we still all have to wear them. As I do this, it kind of occurs to me that I've never seen Minseok, Chuhan, or Myungho's faces without masks on.

I shrug off the thought and refocus on the small back alley I'm walking through. It's barely big enough for a car to fit down yet somehow the drivers here manage to squeeze through like it's no big deal.

Bobbing my head along to the music playing through my earphones, I don't hear the biker coming up behind me on the narrow road. Before I can register what's happening, the biker speeds up next to me, kicks out a leg and knocks me over, and then is speeding away as my forearm stings against the prickly ground.

"Hey!" A male voice shouts at the biker (who's too far away to care) from behind me as my knee echos the sting of my forearm.

I sit back on my butt and rip out my earbuds before gingerly looking at my injuries. My purse flew off my shoulder and landed a good foot away. My knee is a bit scratched up and my forearm is as well, though small blood droplets are starting to appear.

"Are you okay?" A male with blonde hair and soft asks, kneeling down next to me, and another appears standing on my other side. "Oh, you're bleeding."

"I'm okay, yeah." I say in a shaky voice, the shock of it all throwing me off guard. "I live just down the street, I'm okay."

"You should clean that off right away." The male standing says with concern, "Our company is literally right here, at least come and wash it off so it doesn't get infected."

Against my better judgement- the one that says going anywhere with strange males is bad- I nod. It's just something about their eyes and their posture. Plus, the one who screamed angrily at the biker is still staring in anger at the path the biker disappeared down minutes ago.

"Here, let me help you." The once kneeling male offers me a hand, "My name's Jisoo."

"(y/n)." I tell him and take his offered hand. I try to put pressure on my scraped knee but the sting intensifies and I stumble to regain balance on the uninjured leg.

"Careful." Jisoo warns, gripping my arm tighter.

"Just back here." The other male points to my left. Standing around us and the entrance of a building are 11 other males, all masked, of course.

"Someone come and grab her stuff." Jisoo calls out to the group who is looking at me with concern.

The other guys start to shuffle around, one even holds the door open a few steps before Jisoo and I reach the door. I notice, though, that three guys stand a little ways away, all staring at me dumbfounded, and very quiet. I take a couple seconds to look them over and they're wearing outfits EXTREMELY similar to what Minseok, Myungho, and Chuhan were wearing.

"Watch your step." The one holding the door open says as a warning and I have to revert my attention to where I'm placing my feet.

Jisoo turns his head and says something to someone behind me while I tune him out and take in the interior of the building. The white walls reflect the fluorescent lights and brighten the room. Turns this way and that and up a small flight of stairs and Jisoo leads me into a large open conference room, which looks oddly familiar.

"Sit here." Jisoo instructs me and pulls out a chair. He then pulls out a chair for himself.

I lower myself into the chair and try to bend my knee. Bad idea. The sting makes me suck in a breath and squeeze my eyes shut. It's the kind of sting that's sharp and sometimes causes shivers to run down my spine. The worst kind of sting, in my opinion.

"Here's the stuff, hyung." Another guy comes trotting into the room with a red cross labeled white box. Another brings a bowl of water and a couple of hand towels. The others gather in the room with mumbled conversations.

I pull the mask off my face and lay it down on the table as someone else sets my phone and purse next to my mask.

"Thanks." I smile at him and he nods back.

After taking his mask off, Jisoo wordlessly dampens one of the towels then pats the space between his legs.

"You don't have -." I try to refute his offer but his face silences my voice. For a second I forget how to breathe but my scrapes quickly remind me that I need to otherwise they're going to rain hellfire on my nerves. "You're not just a random Jisoo." I exhale in shock.

Joshua leans back, slightly afraid that I'll start screaming. I look around at the others and slowly piece together the number: 13, and the room we're in: it's the same as where Seventeen filmed their fifth year anniversary idea session. I'm just looking at it from a VERY different angle.

Everyone in the room seems to be holding their breath, uncertain about how I'm going to react. I think I surprised them because I definitely know I surprised myself with my response.

"Okay." I say surprisingly calmly in response to Joshua's instruction for me to put my leg up. "But only cause I have one arm out of commission."

And like someone took the kettle off of the heat, the members all exhale.

"You sure you're okay?" Seungcheol asks, taking his mask off and the others follow.

I nod, my nervousness being replaced with confidence the longer I'm under the realization that I am being helped by the Seventeen.

I nod but the action is cut short as Joshua cleans off my scraped knee causing me to inhale quickly and scrunch my face in pain.

"Sorry." Joshua mutters but continues to wipe away the dirt from my skin.

"It's fine." I squeeze out through clenched teeth. "Almost done." Joshua tells him and continues to clean the scrape.

"So, where were you coming from?" Seungkwan wonders with curious eyes in attempt to provide some distraction from the pain.

"Uhm, I was just hanging out with some friends." I answer him, forcing myself to look way from my knee.

"Was it far from here?" Hoshi followed up.

I shake my head, "It was just in the courtyard by the theatre that's like 6 blocks away or something."

"Hey, isn't that where you guys said you were going?" Dino points a finger towards Vernon, DK, and The8.

I glance at the three and they're the ones dressed the same as Minseok, Chuhan, and Myungho. The room is silent as the three share a nervous look. Then Joshua breaks the silence by ripping open a bandaid.

"We did..." DK trails off, staring directly at Vernon and Myungho. I feel Joshua stick the bandaid over my knee before patting my foot, silently saying that I can lower my leg.

"Maybe you guys saw each other!" Jun comments happily.

"I... I think I did..." I stare at the three avoiding any eye contact with me. The pieces slowly starting to fit together. Joshua reaches out for my arm which I easily volunteer over. "Oh, I definitely di- oh, mother-!" I yelp mid-sentence as Joshua wipes away the dirt and blood.

"Sorry, sorry." Joshua mumbles apologetically.

"It's fine." I breathe out and redirect back to the three who's familiar eyes aren't just from the computer screen. "Chuhan, Minseok, and Myungho?" I question them on the names they used with me.

DK and Vernon just smile while The8 adds a tiny and shy wave.

"And you were going to be too busy to come meet with me because of the comeback..." I continue to guess.

They nod and some members stare at the three in awe while the others snicker under their breath. Joshua just continues to wipe away at my arm which is still stinging.

"And you made up names because....?" I lean forward, trailing off to wait for an answer.

"We didn't know how you'd react to us?" Vernon offers but states it more as a question.

"This is going to sting." Joshua informs me just mere milliseconds before spraying something that most definitely stings.

"Ugh." I groan, "I'm never walking down tiny roads again."

"You're going to have to if you're going to come visit us." Seungkwan pouts.

"Who said I was visiting?" I question, realizing a couple seconds later how that actually sounds coming out of my mouth.

"No one but I know Vernon gave you his number so I was kind of guessing." Seungkwan replies as Joshua rips open a few bandaids to cover up my injured arm.

"You mean Chuhan." I correct him with a smirk.

"CHUHAN?" Hoshi repeats the name, "You told her your name was CHUHAN?" He throws his head back and laughs out loud. Dino, Jun, Jeonghan, and Seungcheol join him while others just smile in amusement.

"Okay but like did (y/n) never question how ridiculous the name was?" Mingyu interrogates me, amused at my naiveness.

I shrug, pulling my arm closer after Joshua lets it go. "I know people sometimes have crazy names and I've heard weirder names so it seemed like a plausible name."

"Okay but did it never hit you because DK hyung used his name backwards and The8 hyung used his korean name!" Vernon wonders with a tiny ounce of whine laced in.

"I couldn't see your face. And the masks obscure a lot of people's visuals." I explain and wave my hand in front of my face to emphasis. "Including celebrities. Isn't that the reason celebs constantly wore them before we were all required to?"

"She has a point." The8 points at me in agreement.

"So were you boys ever going to spill your secret?" I ask, leaning my cheek against my fist.

They all stutter with a loss of words.

"We're taking that as a no." Hoshi crosses his arms and moves to stand behind me.

"Yes we are." Seungkwan agrees and joins Hoshi.

I start to panic slightly at the thought that I might have started a rift between the members but Vernon's laugh breaks that tension.

"No, it's not like that." He explains, "We were going to tell her just like not for a little while."

"It was nice to talk with someone who didn't know who we were." Dokyeom continues while I just look at them in amusement.

"I just tagged along cause it got me out of the dorm." The8 gives his very simple reason. Jun chuckles and gives him a high-five.

"So, you knew I was a fan from the multitude of times we discussed music and yet you still didn't bother to let me know?" I question.

"Yeah... kind of." Vernon confirms, smiling sheepishly.

"Fair." I nod and lean back in my chair.

"So you're not upset?" DK asks, curious at my response.

I shake my head, "Why would I be? You were trying to protect yourselves cause I could've been a crazed fan. Makes sense. I probably would've done the same thing."

Before they can reply, my phone starts to buzz with a call. I smile apologetically to the members before answer the call.

"Where are you?" My friend asks over the phone, "You were supposed to be here like 25 minutes ago."

"Shit." I guess being knocked over completely made me forget my plans. "I'll be right there."

"I forgot I was supposed to meet my friend." I tell them apologetically.

"Yeah, yeah. Go ahead." Seungcheol nods, "Next time, let us buy you a meal." "You don't have to." I shake my head quickly.

Seungcheol holds up a hand, "No, no, I want to. This all happened in front of our building so I feel bad."

"It wasn't your fault though..." I try to reason with him.

"It was that stupid biker." Vernon mumbles angrily.

"Still, you'll let us know if you have free time?" Joshua presses.

I nod in defeat. "I will." I say and stand up then stand slightly awkwardly as no one moves.

"Why don't you walk her out, Vernon?" Wonwoo suggests and I nearly forgot he was there as he was so quiet standing in the back with Woozi.

"Yeah, walk her out." Hoshi agrees and nudges me towards the door while The8 does the same to Vernon.

Vernon holds the door open for me and I walk out holding my bandaged arm close to my chest.

"Sorry for lying." Vernon apologies once we're down the stairs.

"You don't need to apologize." I say, "It makes a lot of sense why you didn't tell me so don't feel bad. Again, I would've done the same thing."

Vernon smiles softly, "Nice to know it wasn't a completely crazy idea."

"You were the one to suggest it?" I question in amusement.

"No, The8 hyung did." He explains, "I just agreed to it before DK hyung could suggest a crazier idea."

"Good thinking." I compliment his train of thought.

"You sure you're going to be okay?" He asks, voice full of concern.

I nod with certainty, "Yeah, I'll be fine. It'll be an annoyance for like two days and then it'll start to heal and I'll forget about it."

"Good, good." Vernon inhales then exhales, "I can't believe a person can be that rude. Especially in broad daylight." He releases his bottled up annoyance.

"Yeah, but without them, you would still be Chuhan to me." I reason with him, seeing the bright side of the situation.

"True, but still." Vernon scrunches up his nose. "You still have my number right?" He asks as we reach the front door.

I search my purse for the napkin, "Yeah, it's right here." I pull out the scrunched up napkin.

Vernon nods in satisfaction, "Text or call me sometime. I'm sure we could hang out more privately before Coups hyung forces you to him buy you a meal."

I smile and let out an airy laugh, "I'd like that."

"I'll be waiting for your message then." Vernon says happily.

"Thanks for helping me out." I say and step outside.

"Not a problem." He replies and both of us hesitate to end the encounter.

"I, uh, I should probably get going. Don't want to keep my friend waiting." I smile lightly, deciding to break the barrier first.

"Yeah, yeah. Get there safely." Vernon reminds me as I step away and he waves back as I wave at him.

I turn around to face the direction I'm walking and quickly pull out my phone.

"Bruh, you will NOT believe what just happened!" I text friend.

"WHAT?" She replies in one second flat.

I giggle with giddiness and my fingers type as fast as they can, unable to contain my excitement. "So I was knocked over by a rude biker..."

[mythichang]

➠ pairing . . . george weasley x reader

➠ genre . . . fluff!!! pining on both parts, pretty short but i think it was a lot of sweetness 😣😣 they ARE students!!! same grade and all that jazz

➠ warnings . . . nothing really!! although they doooo talk about butts but,,, you’ll seee,,,,,

➠ word count . . . 1.8k

➠ authors note . . . this is super duper late and was requested by anon so looooong ago!! i did fall out of the fandom for a bit because tiktok sort of made me realize that a lot of people were on the wrong side of my many situations, but hp will always be in my heart so here i am!!! i hope you all enjoy!!! talk to me about this imagine!! give me scenarios or ask this george and yn from this universe a question!!

➠ masterlist

george was being quite adorable on that particular monday afternoon

you had taken your usual seat, a two-seater splat in the middle of the class

you hadn’t even noticed that the red head fumbled into class, excited to sit besides you as you were too engrossed in your book

it was another thriller, one that made your skin crawl but in the most satisfying way

george got to his seat besides you, a smile on his face as he watched you bite on your lip the tiniest of bit in concentration

he plopped down beside you, head tilted to watch your concentrated face

although he wasn’t as confident as his twin brother, he always watched from afar, eyes full of puppy love

and by afar, he meant right beside you— because that’s where he always was— right beside you

befriending you hadn’t been the easiest of tasks, your quietness not being filling enough for any other person

but he admired the way you didn’t have to yell at the top of your lungs about your excitement

or the way you could sit with anyone in silence and make them feel more comfortable than words could ever manage

really, he was sprung on yOu and only YoU

it wasn’t a surprise to anyone really

not with those longing looks and the way the boy follows you around like a lost puppy

a lost cute puppy albeit

you didn’t mind either

he was an incredibly sweet boy and managed to help you out a lot in different instances

like the way he helps you find the right words to speak to someone whenever you’re stuck

or helping decipher exactly what others are feeling, since you had the smallest of trouble doing a mundane thing

he helps in all of the classes you two have together and is often found getting you to pull away from your little bubble

it’s a great bubble, you love the bubble, it’s always been YOUR bubble but you didn’t mind stepping out of it for the red head boy with the mischievous twin brother

“did you get a chance to study for OWLs?” the boy pulls you out of trance

you look up, a small smile blossoming upon your face at the sight of your favorite boys face

“i did, you?” you ask faintly, gently putting your book back into the small bag that helped you carry all of your books thought out the day

“not a chance.”

“im guessing you want my notes?” you turn in your seat, arm perched up on the desk as you leaned your head up on the palm of your hand

“hmm, i think i would greatly appreciate it.”

“oh, you think?” you laugh softly at his words, same bright smile on your face

you could feel your mood immediately spike as you spoke to him

he was so incredibly comforting and kind, something that you couldn’t find often at hogwarts with rivalries blooming left to right

“i'm not saying i would decline if you offered them up.”

“who’s offering them?” you feign a look of innocence as you exaggeratedly look around the classroom and back at him. “i don’t see anyone doing that.”

“it’s you. you’re offering them up.” he softly pokes the side of your stomach, making you squirm in your seat.

“ask nicely and i might consider handing them over.” you click your tongue and tap your wrist as if signaling that his time was almost up.

“y/n, may i kindly take a look at your notes so that i don’t totally bomb the OWLs?”

“i think i need a little more begging.”

“you suck”

—

it wasn’t as if you wanted to be staring at him

he was just there— standing there so gloriously beside his twin brother

it was no doubt that the weasley twins were popular around hogwarts

you weren't sure if it was their likability or the parties they seemed to make a thousand times more fun

whatever it was, they ravished in it, not that you cared either, even if it did get you into too many uncomfy situations

seeing george oh-so happy among the crowd of wizards was oh-so gratifying

he smiled so bright that his pearly whites shone throughout wherever he was

now was one of the moments, except you weren’t anywhere special— just another day of sitting across the room from one another in herbology

professor sprout had separated the two of you in hopes that you wouldn’t mess or speak to one another in class any longer

that didn’t work out great,,, clearly

because now you were dazed

dazed as you watch the boy laugh and work with his brother

you weren’t quite sure what was going on between them but you knew you looked like one of those ridiculous people in those ridiculous romantic movies

where the main character is staring at the boy they find so attractive— hearts floating around their head as they sigh out in happiness as if they were watching their entire world

ridiculous ridiculous ridiculous

but could you blame yourself? was it really your fault or was it george’s for being very cute? for having a laugh and smile that just manages to grasp your entire self?

it was george’s fault you like to think

“what are you doing?” the sudden voice makes you jump in your spot, utensils falling onto the floor with a loud clatter

you look down at the utensils out of embarrassment, not wanting to make any eye contact with anybody

“sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.” angela bends down over with you, helping pick up your things

“it’s quite alright,” you mumble softly, not exactly knowing what so say

“i figure you’re into george.” the girl’s sudden words throw you off, your head snapping up to look at the beautiful girl

“w-what? where… um, where’d you get that? it’s nothing but… lies.” you sputter out as quickly as possible— and quite literally too loudly as many others glanced to you and the girl

you could feel your cheeks brighten up even more

a sense of deadly remorse wafts over your already flushed body as angelina gave you an unimpressed look

“alright, calm down, it was just a random conclusion i’ve came up with.”

“that’s a crazy hypothesis!” you continue to sputter out your words as if in disgust of her word

“it wouldn't be that crazy, now, would it?” she laughs gently as the two of you stood up, finally coming up from your crouch on the floor

“he’s just a friend”

“it’s no big deal, i’m definitely into fred. nothing to be ashamed of.”

“yeah, well everyone knows that.” you sigh, fixing up your utilities, angelina helping you with the task

“and no one knows about you and george? only so many can be as, and i mean this in the nicest way possible, oblivious as you two.”

“what’s that supposed to mean?” eyebrows scrunched, you turn to her

were you supposed to be offended? you felt as if you should but you didn’t care enough about it any longer

“it means... make a move.” she shrugs from beside you. “i don’t think it’d ruin anything. if anyithing, you two could stop running circles around one another and finally make out.”

“you are a very crude person.”

“masking out is crude to you? bless your soul, no wonder you haven’t noticed him.”

and that was where the conversation stopped, only making your thoughts run 100 mph

what was she saying exactly? was george as into you as you are into him?

it made your brain feel mushy and it was a horrible feeling

one filled with anxiousness, trying to figure out exactly what being a teenager with feelings meant

but it pleasantly relaxed you to know that angelina was going through the same things as a teenager herself

having started hanging out with her and listening to her advice, you began to notice more things about george and the way he was around you

he was a lot more touchy than you ever remembered, and not in an uncomfortable wait either

but what seemed platonic and innocent to you suddenly sent an alarm through out you (again, not a bad one,,,, just a slightly nervous one)

what were you supposed to do???????

you were always told that you were HORRIBLE with emotions and confrontation

confront him about your feelings???? now how were you supposed to deal with both???

you were unnerved to no end and george was quick to catch in as well

“okay, what’s up your butt?” at hearing george’s voice, you jump up slightly

“there’s nothing up my butt.”

“yes there is. you have that look.”

“the ‘there’s-something-up-my-butt’ look?” you scoff lightly, hoping to rid of the conversation with a tiny bit of humor

“exaclty the look. tell me what’s wrong.”

“nothings wrong.” you shrug him off, turning back to your book, one of which you had to read the first sentence repeatedly

you couldn’t even sit beside him any longer without feeling as if you’re about to burst with terrifying feelings and hypothesis, courtesy of angelina

“is someone bullying you?”

“what?” you turn to him in disbelief. “who would bully me?”

“i don’t know,” he mumbles softly not liking the reaction he managed to grab from you. “just... you look... weird.”

“and here i thought this flimsy uniform looked great with my legs.”

“okay sassypants, i’ll let you be.”

you sigh softly at the sight of a defeated look on him

your mother always said, “if something is painful but can be rid of in an instant, rip it off like a bandaid.”

you always thought it was dumb, why would you rip off a bandaid? bandaids were there to make you feel better so it should be working on whatever it’s put on

ridiculous

you’re ridiculous

YOU ARE RIDICULOUS

you knew you needed to stop being such a wussy, it was a bad look on you

that much you could tell at george’s hesitant looks

screw it

“want to go on a date?” it was too late to stop the words from coming out.

george looks over at you, wide eyes

you felt as if time was suddenly going to slow as you awaited his answer

so far,,,? things didn’t look too great for you

but you weren’t going to strike-out immediately, maybe he was too shocked

“you want to go on a date? with me?”

“no, actually, im asking professor snape... yes with you.” your cheeks were flushed red as you refused to look the boy in the eye

“sassypants is coming out again.” the melodious tone of his laughter reaching your ears, making you feel at ease

“i’d love to go on a date with you.” you shut your eyes tight, hands covering your face

“goodness, i felt like i was suffocating.” you mumble, embarrassment continuously coursing through your body

“is that what was up your butt?”

“you really do have a way with words. yes, that’s what was up my butt.”

“hmm, i knew something was wrong. weirdo, you could have asked me so long ago!”

“you could’ve told me too!”

[cherishingstydia]

5+1 - Five times Buddie tried to confess their newfound romantic feelings to each other and the one time someone else did it for them?

thank you for the idea! Hope you like it.

1.

Buck took a deep breath as he looked at Eddie and Chris. These nights always cemented the fact that he’s not only in love with Eddie, but this is what he wants everyday for the rest of his life just the three of them, and maybe some more kids at some point.

Eddie is his perfect match. He really never expected to find someone and really never thought it would be a man, but he doesn’t care he just wants Eddie. Tonight’s the night, once Chris goes to bed he’s gonna rip off the bandaid...tell Eddie the truth.

Buck waited in anticipation as Eddie finished tucking Chris in. His heart was pounding, his breathing was erratic and he couldn’t sit still.

“You ok?” Eddie smiled

“Uh yeah great.”

“You sure.”

“Of course I just wanted to tell you something.”

“Ok.” Eddie said sitting next to Buck.

“Eddie I love...I love game night, but I’m not gonna make it this week...I have plans.” Buck lied, and it was a terrible lie because he definitely did not have plans.

“A date?” Eddie asked and Bucks sure Eddie looks upset.

“No, no date for me. I just I have some laundry and cleaning I need to do and that’s the only free time I’ll have this week.” Buck said. Another lie. The truth has to be easier than this.

“We can do it at your place...game night I mean. Then I can help you.” Eddie said softly.

Damnit there’s no way to say no. No way to turn down Eddie and Chris time.

“You’d do that for me.”

“Buck I’d do anything for you.” Eddie said placing his hand on Bucks thigh.

“Ok. Game night at my place.”

2.

Eddie was nervous. Bucks coming over, but only Buck and him will be there. Chris is at a sleepover and most nights it’s just the three of them, which is actually how Eddie prefers it. This isn’t the first time he’s been in love. After Shannon he wasn’t sure how to move on and when he dated Ana he liked her, but something was off. He figured out later it was the skateboard incident and how she reacted vs how Buck reacted. That’s when he knew for sure Buck was the one.

“Hey.” Eddie smiled as Buck walked through the door.

“Hey.” Buck yawned.

“Sorry I’m so boring.” Eddie teased.

“Nah. Just tired Albert and Veronica are...really loud.”

“Why don’t they just stay at her place.”

“Oh they do.” Buck rolled his eyes.

Eddie sat next to Buck making sure he wasn’t too close, even though they’re usually so close their bodies are pressed together, but he knows if he’s too close he’ll lose his nerve.

“I uh need to use the bathroom.” Eddie said excusing himself.

You can do this. It’s not a big deal. Just say it “Buck I wanna be more than friends.” No not that “Buck I like you.” Well it’s more than like but the L word might scare Buck, even though Eddie knows he loves him. “Buck you’re hot as fuck.” Nope nope nope not that one. That sounds purely sexual, and as much as Eddie is sexually attracted to Buck that’s not all there is. It’s really all the small things about Buck and his personality that drew Eddie in. Ok straight forward. “I have romantic feelings for you.” Maybe that works. No speak from the heart.

Eddie walked out of the bathroom not confident in what he’d say, but confident it’s time to tell Buck....who is passed out asleep on the couch.

“I can wake up.” Buck yawned.

“No. I’ll get you a blanket. Lay down and get some rest.”

Buck obeyed and Eddie covered him placing a small kiss on Bucks temple. Buck didn’t seem to notice, but that’s ok it’s not their time yet.

3.

Buck looked at Eddie from across the station and sighed. Why was it so difficult telling him. Ok he knows why because it could potentially ruin the best friendship he’s ever had, but most people think of their spouse as their best friend right? So maybe that’s why their friendship is unlike any other he’s ever had because they belong together.

There’s 5 hours of the shift left, but a wave of confidence hit Buck. He strutted over to Eddie who smiled.

“What’s up?” Eddie grinned.

“Can we talk?”

“Everything alright?”

“Yeah I uh just need to say this.” Buck said before the bell went off.

Saved by the bell...more like blocked by the bell. Buck sighed.

“We can talk later.” Eddie nodded.

Later...later will there be any confidence left?

After returning to the station Eddie stopped Buck.

“Do you wanna continue our conversation? It seemed important.”

“Eddie I...can’t remember.” Buck hated that he said that he wanted to just blurt out “I love you” but that might scare Eddie off, and that confidence from earlier had fizzled out. Today is so not the day.

4.

Today was gonna be the day...again. Buck was coming over to make dinner. Chris had a last minute sleepover invite. Which Eddie was happy his son was so excited, and happy for some alone time with Buck, but it was scary.

Buck showed up in a tight blue shirt not only making his eyes pop but accentuating his muscles. Eddie felt guilty ogling his best friend, but when Buck looks this good it s hard not to.

“You ok?” Buck asked as he began to cook.

Eddie sat on the counter near by.

“Yeah I just. Do you ever have something you think you need to say, but you don’t know what will happen. Like it could ruin something great, but if you say it then the thing you already have could be even greater.” Eddie sighed.

“I guess I don’t know for sure, but I feel like you just go on your instincts. Do what you think is best. Trust your gut....I mean obviously You have no gut just rock hard abs, but you get it. Does that help?”

“ I think.” Eddie but his lip.

“Do you wanna talk about it? See if I can help?”

Yes. Of course we really need to talk about it.

“Uh no...it’s nothing big.” Eddie lied.

“Well I’m here anytime...really even if you ever need to call late at night to talk you can. Don’t worry if I’m asleep or not. I’ll be here...always.”

Eddie felt like his heart was doing somersaults. Buck is so perfect and caring...it’s really Bucks fault he fell in love with him. If Buck wasn’t such an amazing person, and it was just sexual attraction rather than love and sexual attraction this would a lot easier.

Ok no more hiding.

“Buck.”

“Yeah?” Buck said with a smile that melts Eddies heart.

“I-” Eddie said before Buck cut him off.

“Sorry hold that thought I don’t want the food to burn.”

Buck returned shorty with two plates piled high full of delicious food.

“Ok so what were we talking about?” Buck asked in a serious tone.

“I was just telling you how much I appreciate you cooking for me.”

“Anytime.” Buck smiled.

And another failed attempt. Bucks totally worth it. Eddie wants to tell him, but the thought of potentially messing up their friendship is what makes it so scary. Every time he tries to tell him it’s like something always gets in his way. Is this fates way of telling him not to say anything?

5.

Buck looked across the bar as he saw a woman practically throwing herself at Eddie....ok she was just talking, but still it made Buck feel an overwhelming wave of jealousy. A shitty bar isn’t really the place to confess your undying love, but now he feels like he has to.

Buck plopped on the chair next to Eddie. He knew it was weird l, but when he got there the words didn’t wanna come out. Not in a way that would make any sense.

“Hey Buck wanna help me carry the drinks back to our table?” Eddie smiled.

“Uh yeah.”

“So Uh why didn’t you keep talking to her. She’s pretty and seemed into you.”

“She’s not my type.”

“What is your type.”

“It’s not that I really have a type its  more a feeing....I can usually tell pretty quick by the way I feel around that person, and I wasn’t feeling it.”

So if Eddie can feel it quickly, but hasn’t said anything yet then maybe that means he’s not into Buck. He has no feelings for him. It’s unreciprocated and the pain in his chest is unbearable he almost feels like he’s at the point where he wants to cry, but he’s in so much pain he can’t.

“Buck you ok?” Eddie asked.

The words echoed through Bucks mind.

“I’m not feeling so well maybe I should go.”

“I’ll drive you home I haven’t had anything to drink yet.”

“Uh no I’ll call an Uber.” Buck said. He wanted Eddie to take him home, but maybe once he’s not around Eddie the pain will lessen. 

+1.

Hen and Karen were having everyone other for a game night. Although they had ulterior motives. Everyone was sick and tired of Buck and Eddies shit. They were either pining, moping, or gazing longingly at each other all the time.

Hen was very aware of both of their feelings considering they both confided in her. They both admitted how they keep trying to tell each other, but something kept holding them back. She wanted to say you love him he loves you now be together, but it’s not her place to be so straight forward. She tried and tried to encourage them to just be honest, but they were both too stubborn.

“Buck, Eddie can you grab the folding table out of my bedroom closet?” Hen asked earning a glare from both men.

As soon as they both entered the room hen shut the door and then pushed a chest in front of it barricading the door.

“You two need to talk...about what you keep talking to me about. The thing you both want to say. I know you know what I mean. I’ll let you out when you finally talk.” Hen said.

“Hen.” Buck groaned as he jiggled the door knob.

Eddie sat on the bed.

“Fine I’ll say it blurt it out.” Eddie let out a deep breath.

“I love you.” Buck sighed as he approached Eddie. “Like I’m in love with you. I’ve tried and tried to tell you but I can’t seem to ever get the words out.”

“Buck I’ve been trying to tell you the same thing for so long. I didn’t wanna scare you, but I love you and I can’t believe you feel it too.”

Buck practically tackled Eddie pushing him back on the bed straddling and kissing him.

Moments later Hen was knocking on the door.

“You guys good.”

“Yeah we uh talked.” Buck panted.

“Give is a few more minutes...to talk.” Eddie panted.

“Do not have sex in my room.” Hen said pushing the chest out of the way. “You’re free to come out here now.”

“Oh we aren’t gonna have sex here. When we do I wanna hear every sound I can pull from Buck. If we did it hear he might try to muffle those sounds.”

“Walking away now!” Hen said.

“Eddie should we go back to my place.” Buck whispered.

“Isn’t that rushing this a bit?”

“We don’t have to do anything I just wanna be alone with you.” Buck smiled climbing off of Eddie.

“Ok.” Eddie smiled.

When they walked out to the living room everyone applauded .

“Finally!” Maddie laughed.

“Hey uh so we’re gonna go. We kinda need to talk some more.” Eddie said.

“Thanks Hen for forcing us to admit our feelings.” Buck smiled.

“Hey I knew you both felt it you just needed a little push.” Hen smiled.

[fallingappleshurt]

63 with Wilbur and Techno. Bonus if it's a flashback to their childhood after wilbur's death.

Hi yes I write things I swear

So the second part of the request is more directly implied than outright stated so oops but yeah! Also this takes place in some modern AU because the SMP is tiring me

all that’s dead and gone and passed tonight

TW: swearing, major character death (already dead not- they are just grieving)

Techno felt like he was watching himself in a painting, a shitty, hazy painting. One where the artist got frustrated and gave up halfway through, smearing the paint up and down and across the canvas in rage.

He couldn’t focus- the smudges on his glasses were distracting and unwanted tears building up in his eyes were blurring the words on his assignments together.

The sky was screaming, the wind whipped at the trees and slapped at the house, thunder shook the clouds and lightning slipped through the cracks. It was raining so hard Techno couldn’t see out his window.

Sharp and painful feelings that he tried so hard to crush were bubbling up along with tears in his eyes- he couldn’t do this. He had at least 3 assignments due at midnight and 2 missing ones that he couldn’t find the motivation to do, he should probably shower, he felt gross- and the rain made him think of Wilbur-

Oh god Wilbur.

If Wilbur were here he’d make Techno take a break after teasing him for awhile, hanging upside down on Techno’s bed and commenting on his fantastic posture.

He jammed his hands in his hair, nails getting caught on the tangles and coating his hands with grease, pulling and digging his fingers into his scalp. This was the last thing he wanted to think about was Wilbur- fuck- his stupid fucking hair was getting in the way.

Phil had tried to get him to take care of it again but even brushing his hair felt like a hassle and Wilbur wasn’t there to braid it. Techno knew how to braid and care for his own hair- but Wilbur would always do it- he used to.

His chest was tight- ribs mending together and crushing his lungs- no he had to focus- just get these assignments done- the thunder cracked outside again.

Tears burned his face, he was tired, so tired, he knew he didn’t have the right to be but he was- he went to grab his pencil only to accidentally jerk at his hair again.

He snapped, shoving his papers and books off the desk, jumping up so fast his chair fell over.

Techno pushed his door open and stomped into the bathroom, rummaging through the drawers in the dark like a mad man, washcloths and toothbrushes and bandaids being shoved aside until he found the scissors.

He grabbed a chunk of his hair- yanking it so he could see it better- and lined the scissors up. He paused, tears clouding his vision to the point where he could barely see himself- did he really want to get rid of it? Of something that took so long to grow- something Wilbur liked so much?

His eyes flickered to the small nightlight on the wall.

He bit his tongue and sliced through his hair.

Iron filled his mouth as he threw his hair on the floor, snipping wildly at the other parts, ripping them away, feeling the jagged ends brush against his face and neck.

Techno dropped the scissors, he stumbled out of the bathroom and back towards his room- it felt unfamiliar but homey at the same time- it smelled like dust and ink.

He collapsed on the already made bed, it was soft and enveloped in him in a cool but familiar sheet of grief.

He wrapped his arms around the pillow, that smelled like the shampoo that Wilbur had insisted on using, holding it to his chest, and somehow fell asleep.

“You’ve been sitting there for the last 3 hours, I thought you’d be finished by now.” Wilbur commented, flopping down on Techno’s bed.

“Shut up.”

Wilbur snorted, “You’re in a mood.”

Techno gripped his pencil tighter, “Go away- I’m busy.”

“You’ve said that a lot recently-”

“Cause I’ve been busy so fuck off!”

Wilbur rolled off the bed, setting his hand on Techno’s shoulder, “You need a break-”

“I need to finish this project-”

“It’s due on Monday, you’ll still have the rest of the weekend to finish it, now come on, we’re going on a walk.”

“But it’s raining,”

“So? That’s what makes it fun, besides it's basically summer so it’s warm.”

Techno let Wilbur drag him out of his room, past Tommy who was passed out on the couch with the TV blaring, and through the kitchen towards the garage.

“Leave your shoes.”

“What?”

“Walking barefoot in the rain feels much better than with shoes, now come on! You’re so slow!”

They walked out of the garage and were immediately pelted with fat drops of water as the sky dumped buckets on them. Wilbur grinned and they continued down the driveway and down the sidewalk.

Techno felt like an idiot, walking in the rain in shorts and a t-shirt with his twin, but strangely, he didn’t mind it. Wilbur closed his eyes and put his head back, smiling widely, letting the rain hit his face and drench his hair.

Barely anybody was out, Techno could see faint light filtering from other peoples windows but the streets were clear, he watched leaves and twigs get swept down the little rivers that ran down the curb every time it rained.

Wilbur grabbed his hands suddenly, spinning them around, Techno was barely able to stop himself from falling.

“What-”

“Come on Tech! Move your feet, get your blood flowing!” Wilbur twisted them around again, laughing. His laugh was like little drops of sunlight in the sea.

Techno snorted, trying to keep up with Wilbur’s rapid pace.

They spun themselves at a shitty old field by the middle school, where the buses would park over the summer and the people would let their dogs run. The asphalt was gray and cracked, huge potholes filled with water and pebbles.

Wilbur pulled him along, urging him to go faster, until they were running. They ran through the puddles, splashing muddy water on their legs. Techno ran and ran, feeling the wind in his hair that was simultaneously sticking to his forehead, his feet hit the ground so hard he thought they might bleed but he finally felt like he wasn’t wrapped in a foggy haze.

Wilbur nearly tripped twice and Techno couldn’t see out of his glasses but for the first time in months he felt like he could breathe.

Eventually they went back home, creeping through the house Techno went to get changed and dry himself off, once he did he sat back down to work on his project again. Only for Wilbur to poke his head through the door, droplets of water still clinging to his hair.

“Oh no you don’t, I just got you to loosen up, you gotta stay loose. Come here,”

“I really should be working-”

“Shut up and let me braid your hair.”

Techno found himself in Wilbur’s room sipping a cup of hot chocolate, curled up on the bed with Wilbur running his fingers through his hair, sectioning it off for braids.

It was still pouring outside, rain pattering against the window, the ceiling fan creaked and rattled mixing in with the TV’s soft melody of a cheesy old show Techno hadn’t seen in years. The multicolored Christmas lights Wilbur had taped to the wall were glowing softly but still brighten the room.

When Wilbur finished the last braid he leaned against his twin, his hot chocolate forgotten on the desk, “Stay the night with me?” He asked quietly, “It’ll be just like old times.”

Techno nodded and Wilbur laid his head on his shoulder, just like old times.

Phil had been worried when he woke muffled thumps and bangs coming from the hall but after quickly investigating found that they were safe.

He felt the panic flare up again for a moment when he peered in and saw Techno wasn’t in his room and it was in complete disarray but relaxed when he found him in Wilbur’s room, curled up, fast asleep.

He wondered if he should wake him and ask if he was alright but ultimately stopped himself, he couldn’t do that to him, even in the dim light Techno looked more at peace then he had in months.

It had been months since Wilbur died and Phil’s chest burned everyday, there was a piece missing from his home, his heart, his family, he lost his songbird.

He knew it affected his other sons too, Tommy flipped between loud fits of rage and sadness, screaming or sobbing softly, while Techno was barely managing to scrape by as human.

Wilbur and Tommy were close but Wilbur and Techno had been by each other's sides since birth.

He remembered Wilbur refusing to leave Techno’s side when he was sick and how Techno never missed one of his concerts. The paper crowns and crudely made flags and swords as they decided they were the most fearsome duo that would conquer the land one day.

They never got that far.

Phil knew Techno tried to put on a brave front but it was cracking, piece by piece, baggy eyes, slipping grades, and forgetting to eat. He had tried to help but nothing seemed to be working, Techno was slipping into a husk of himself.

Wilbur may have been in a casket but any fool could see Techno was the dead one.