#rae irl

[iguessitsjustme]

If anyone has any pictures of pets or plants that they’re willing to share with me, I could really use them today

[iguessitsjustme]

I finally got it! I have been waiting for this to come in the mail! I got it!

Behold my new beloved

[iguessitsjustme]

What in the chicken fried fuck do you mean it’s only Tuesday?

[iguessitsjustme]

Scared. But gonna do it anyway (I do not have a choice)

[iguessitsjustme]

14 days ago my brother told me there was a package on its way to me

He addressed it with a nickname only my dad ever calls me by (and even that's rare) and said it would be here within 15 days. My birthday was months ago. There are many months until Christmas. There is no reason for this man to have bought me anything. Well apparently the package is in my city and just still needs to be delivered. So I will probably get...whatever it is tomorrow. He has told me only 2 things about this package:

He saw it and thought of me so he impulse bought it for me

It is not unhinged

Now, if you know me, you know that the odds of someone buying me something for me that is not unhinged in some way is unlikely. So, dear followers. Before I get the package (hopefully tomorrow), I ask:

[iguessitsjustme]

I want to talk about hope.

In June of 2021, my house burned down. I was living with my parents and my two younger siblings at the time. My younger sister was set to move out in a few days, and I had just put my two weeks’ notice in at my previous job and was working my final day (I worked remotely). Around midday, I smelled burning followed by the smoke alarms going off. Only my siblings and I were home at the time. As I came out of my room, one of my siblings ran up stating the house was on fire. All three of us fled as quickly as we could. We all made it out with plenty of time and none of us were hurt. But because we fled so quickly, none of us were wearing shoes.

My siblings and I tried desperately to reach the rest of my family. My mother was about an hour away visiting her father as she did every week. My dad was at work in a different city. And my older brother lived across the country from us. The area we lived in was rural and we all had very poor cell reception without the use of internet. It was incredibly hard to reach anybody. It felt like the three of us against a giant monster that consumed everything we had. But as we struggled to use our useless phones (luckily all of us had our phones on us when it happened) and as we watched our house become consumed by flames, the most miraculous thing happened. People showed up.

These were not people that the three of us knew. They were all people from the community that came to see what was going on. They saw the three of us trying to call our parents and lent us their phones. They sat and watched with us as the flames engulfed our home and as the pops and bangs of the house being torn apart hurt us to hear. And the thing that I remember the most is the family that looked down at our feet, saw that we had no shoes, and took off their own shoes and gave them to us. They did not think about it for a second. They simply removed their shoes and gave them to us. They did not fit perfectly, but they were a comfort that we did not have that was given back to us during an incredibly difficult time.

I know right now is tough. I know things look bleak. I know it looks like there is a monster consuming our home. But there are people out there that will sit with you. There are people that will offer you their phones. There are people that will offer you their shoes. There are people that will return to you a piece of comfort that was stolen. They are there. And you will not have to look very far to find them. Hope will be found in those people. In the little moments and the little acts that they do. Even when you feel so alone and like you're watching your house burn down, hope can still be found.

[iguessitsjustme]

FINE. I’ll get up, get ready, and go to work. But I will NOT be happy about it

[iguessitsjustme]

Actually left the house today and went to see dan and phil’s terrible influence tour and despite my reluctance to leave my apartment ever, I am very glad I went. I laughed until I cried and it was genuinely such a good show. Took me back many years and it was so nice

[iguessitsjustme]

What do you MEAN its only Tuesday

[iguessitsjustme]

Got myself up at the ass crack of dawn to go vote and ended up interviewed by the local news because I was the first in line. Why do things like this happen to me

[iguessitsjustme]

[iguessitsjustme]

I was tagged by @my-rose-tinted-glasses, @troubled-mind, and @littleragondin and I finally have a chance to do this (cries in introvert forced to be social)

RULES: put 5 songs you actually listen to, then tag 10 people.

I listen to approximately a million songs all of the time. I always have music playing if I'm not working or watching something and I have talked nonstop about many songs already here so I tried to choose songs I haven't mentioned yet.

Laugh About It - Remember Monday

Quite literally been obsessed with this song lately. Also this music video doesn't make me feel gay at all. Nope. Definitely not. I am looking respectfully. Completely. But also I genuinely love the song. These girls have gorgeous harmonies and the whole song is about being petty so of course I love it.

2. Sinner - Leadley

I bet you thought I was gonna put the other Sinner here considering how often I mention it and that I made a video edit using it. But nope. This song is just...a bop. At least for me. There was a time in my life I listened to this at least once a day.

3. She - dodie

This song was probably the catalyst for me to start...questioning things. Anyway it's gorgeous and calming. Actually dodie is one of my favorite artists and I don't mention her nearly enough. I especially like listening to her when I'm traveling because her calming voice and soft melodies help me keep my travel anxiety in check.

4. Pegadito - Tommy Torres

This song scratches my brain perfectly. Also nothing like listening to songs in Spanish to remind me that I need to brush up on my Spanish because I now suck at it and I am very angry at myself for that. But also this song is just...I love it.

5. HAN "외계인 (Alien)

Would I be able to leave Stray Kids off this list? Of course not. I mean, I'm mentioning songs I haven't mentioned before, not bands. Anyway believe it or not, my favorite of their albums is skz-replay and this is just the first song I saw when I was trying to choose. My favorite by Han is actually Wish You Back, but this is a very close second. It hits just right for me. Can't explain it. Also Han is just an extremely talented person and it both baffles me and impresses me. I genuinely believe he might be one of the most talented people on the planet. At least musically. And definitely works very hard for it as well. I'm getting sidetracked.

Tagging @heretherebedork because I told you I was going to and I want to see what 5 songs you end up choosing :P

I am also tagging anyone who has not done this and wants to but maybe hasn't been tagged yet. It's been a minute so I don't remember everyone who's done it and who's been tagged. But if you do this please, please, please, tag me so I can see your song recs. And also potentially scream at you about music.

[iguessitsjustme]

I am become grape

[iguessitsjustme]

It was my coworker's last day today and I am so extremely sad. I cannot even begin to tell y'all how much she has saved my work life over the past year. Not only is she one of the best coworkers, I've ever had, but she is one of the best people I have ever known. And the reason I'm saying something here is because she wrote me a little card for her last day (also I got her gifts and had people sign a thing for her) and she gave it to me stealthily because she didn't write a card for everyone and didn't want people to feel left out which immediately I was like ??? me???? special letter???? *sad kitty eyes* and then I read the letter and y'all. It made me cry. She made me cry. It was so incredibly sweet and I just...if you know me, you know how impressive that is. Anyway I just wanted a record for myself of how I'm feeling right now cause it's been hours and I'm still thinking about how awesome she is and how much I'm gonna miss working with her

[iguessitsjustme]

I can’t BELIEVE I have’t shown you guys my Halloween outfit today (not allowed to wear costumes at work)