#it works mentally. but it makes me feel physically like shit

[stayatsam]

im gonna be real i have not been fully medicated in a couple months and ive been unreliably on and off one of my key medications for years and i think it's starting to catch up to me

[mmmairon]

Delete later. Just need to get some stuff off my chest

[onlyasimp4nobody]

[shirogane-oushirou]

no promises anymoooooreeeee i'll appear online when i appear online 😭 every time i say "ooh i think life is almost done being overwhelming!" it. becomes even more overwhelming in the dumbest ways. all i can manage rn when i'm not stressing myself into a shut-down state is staring at the wall while listening to youtube essays + mindlessly crocheting.

i might queue up ppls art and fics w/o commentary in the tags... i want other ppl to see what all of my cool friends have made, but i genuinely can't think right now with this monstrous brain fog. i'm really sorry, just. yeah. maybe i'll think of some way to make it up later!!! once the dust has settled!!!! but until then i wuv u and miss u. smiles.

[venting in tags including familial manipulation and ableism. i. didn't mean to write all of that, thiss was originally going to be a main blog post but. aaaaaAAAAAA!!!!!

also no need for replies or anything, i'd turn them off for just the one post if i could kjsndkn, i just needed to get things out and go eep jsjndsfdn ok bye bye bye bye!!!!]

[calamitys-child]

I'm being so serious rn if I ever talk about doing another fringe festival run in the next like 3 years at least send me to fucking therapy. It is a cry for help. This is bad for me.

[sehtoast]

me: MY HAIRLINE IS RECEDING OH NO OH FUCK

also me: full time student (worth noting i wrote stupid here at first without realizing), 20-30 hours in customer service every week, teaching myself 3/4 classes, teaching myself advanced algebra with a teacher (basically just a proctor) who shuts down any/all asks for help, juggling college financial woes, navigating dying relationships/people abandoning and/or attacking me bc i don't have time for things i used to anymore, none of my hobbies are making me happy when and if i have time for them,, i have no time for myself, i'm on my second all-nighter this week, i'm perpetually exhausted in a way sleep isn't fixing, my body aches because i'm so tired, and i'm barely able to stay asleep when i do get the chance bc the anxiety wakes me up

my hairline: two hops this time!

[dzozef]

i got offered the promotion at work.... why am i every business owners wettest dream damn....

[dickvinci]

and i know i could and possibly might just start posting about fics and what not that i'm writing her and set up a kofi and take suggestions and what not but. it's a lot of work.

[pnsge]

last day of the year and im overthinking again

[not-equippedforthis]

6, 10 & 29? :)

HELLOOO

6 - 3 nice things about myself, non-physical and physical. i'll do three each! since i'm trying to be nicer to myself!

physical:

- i got glasses the other day and i think they look adorable, i love how they look on me

- i think my eyes are my prettiest facial feature, they're blue and quite round and i like how i do my eye makeup too (rose pink eyeshadow + small black eyeliner makes them stand out nicely and that's usually what people compliment :])

- i generally like my body shape. i'm working out more too and seeing myself become more flexible and toned is actually really satisfying

non-physical:

- i always try and include everyone in conversation or ask them what they were going to say if they were cut off since i know what it feels like to be excluded/feel like youre the tag-along in a friend group, or be nervous to join in

- i'm good at a range of subjects and tasks and i'm good at picking new things up quickly: new hobby every week core

- i'm a pessimist at heart but i try and make light of situations, since i know that also picks other people up (my mum always makes the worst out of things and it drags my mood down a lot so i try and be as forgiving and optimistic as possible - honestly, a lot of bad situations can be made funny with the right people and mindset. obviously sometimes frustration is warranted and unavoidable, but there's almost always a way out! having it start raining and immediately hear someone complaining for 10 minutes is kinda unecessary imo. enjoy yourself!! its fine!!)

10 - something i'm excited for

well, my friend and i are planning to go on a road trip up to scotland or somewhere similar once we get our drivers licenses and go sight-seeing! we were thinking february next year but we're still deciding

im also gonna try and bake some bread, so im happy for that :] i already bake a lot so i figured id try. also watching stuff rise is fun

29 - morning, afternoon or night

this depends heavily, but for me i stay up at night cause i want to avoid the next day and its the one of the only times its quiet, and the afternoon is a weird spot for me. i'm not really a morning person but i appreciate the morning? the sun's rising and there's still time and everything's peaceful for a little while. so i think morning.

thank you for the ask!! <33

[phagodyke]

this is like my fourth or fifth consecutive bad gym session I might as well just kill myself

[stillfruit]

i love not knowing if i'll ever be healthy again i love all of the time i've used to move my body become nothing i love spending my adulthood wasting away year after year for various reasons baby!

[heartshattering]

My mom is like "You don't need both the TV and the radio turned on :/" like she doesn't understand that the whole point is that the inside of my head is so loud that the only way to fight the 'inside loudness' is with 'outside loudness' but :') this is fine I'll just keep going insane :') no need to worry about me :')

[nauticalfools]

.

[theultracharmingladynoire]

I am just so tired of everything but I can't do anything about it

[mitamicah]

.