#it doesnt fill me with dread

[not-equippedforthis]

6, 10 & 29? :)

HELLOOO

6 - 3 nice things about myself, non-physical and physical. i'll do three each! since i'm trying to be nicer to myself!

physical:

- i got glasses the other day and i think they look adorable, i love how they look on me

- i think my eyes are my prettiest facial feature, they're blue and quite round and i like how i do my eye makeup too (rose pink eyeshadow + small black eyeliner makes them stand out nicely and that's usually what people compliment :])

- i generally like my body shape. i'm working out more too and seeing myself become more flexible and toned is actually really satisfying

non-physical:

- i always try and include everyone in conversation or ask them what they were going to say if they were cut off since i know what it feels like to be excluded/feel like youre the tag-along in a friend group, or be nervous to join in

- i'm good at a range of subjects and tasks and i'm good at picking new things up quickly: new hobby every week core

- i'm a pessimist at heart but i try and make light of situations, since i know that also picks other people up (my mum always makes the worst out of things and it drags my mood down a lot so i try and be as forgiving and optimistic as possible - honestly, a lot of bad situations can be made funny with the right people and mindset. obviously sometimes frustration is warranted and unavoidable, but there's almost always a way out! having it start raining and immediately hear someone complaining for 10 minutes is kinda unecessary imo. enjoy yourself!! its fine!!)

10 - something i'm excited for

well, my friend and i are planning to go on a road trip up to scotland or somewhere similar once we get our drivers licenses and go sight-seeing! we were thinking february next year but we're still deciding

im also gonna try and bake some bread, so im happy for that :] i already bake a lot so i figured id try. also watching stuff rise is fun

29 - morning, afternoon or night

this depends heavily, but for me i stay up at night cause i want to avoid the next day and its the one of the only times its quiet, and the afternoon is a weird spot for me. i'm not really a morning person but i appreciate the morning? the sun's rising and there's still time and everything's peaceful for a little while. so i think morning.

thank you for the ask!! <33

[demadogs]

some of you need to hate ai way more than you currently do

[koipepo]

Pondering the future he wishes to uproot

[sweetshelluvaau]

I don't know about you guys but it's hard for me to get excited for there being a season 3 + 4 of Hazbin Hotel when Season One basically rushed its plot that could have already been three seasons full...

[murderouscowboys]

There is a very specific pain and disappointment that you get from failing a driving test. If you passed first time fuck off you cannot relate to the internal disappointment and dread I felt when I failed, that shit was really something.

[separatist-apologist]

what the fuck they mean 'would given a five stars if...' they're thinking they went to a restaurant and the steak wasn't properly cooked? wild

Yeah, that sucked to see, but that's the culture on goodreads. You SHOULD be able to review a published book that way. If an author is asking you to spend your money on something consumable, then you have the right to leave your feedback. I'll DIE on that hill, along with the one that says authors need to stay out of reader spaces. I've certainly ripped books apart for having shitty grammar, glaring plotholes, and feeling like a first draft. That's the whole basis for #hatersbookclub

But fanfic is NOT consumable in that way. No fanfic author is asking you to spend money, nor are they doing it professionally. Its a hobby and so you get people of all skill level and ability writing in another authors sandbox. It's like a potluck- we all bring a dish, we sample others (maybe AVOID the dishes we don't like), and talk about it enthusiastically.

And I feel like there is some brain rot happening because people equate the two with, "well you put it out there for consumption-" which yeah, but not in the same way. I'm not advertising, I'm not backed by a publisher (or using my own resources to self-pub), like its just my hobby. Read it, or don't, review it or don't, but don't treat it like actual published books.

Leave it out of published spaces. I know there are some fanfic authors who WANT this, because they (maybe, I'm not in their head) feel like it's comparable to "making it" but you have to kill that voice in your head, the one that equates making art to external validation. If you want to be a published author and you're writing fanfic to hone your storytelling chops, I think that's wonderful- and don't throw us all under the bus for your singular ambition, you know?

I Know Places keeps getting put up on goodreads and I am so delighted people still love it all these years later. And I wrote that in between living my life, usually during down time at work. I wrote it, and then I hit publish and I didn't concern myself with combing through for every little typo or adhering to grammatical rules or whatever else. I just wrote what felt good based on a conversation between a friend and wanting to see how it would play out.

And it sucks to do all that work FOR FUN and see people treat it like its a published work they should be allowed to shred to pieces. Like making someone a quilt and they immediately launch into how sloppy your stitches are but then assure you they also like it. Thanks. Glad I spent the time, it sure does feel good.

Anyway, sorry for the rant. I've been keeping it to myself for weeks and it feels kind of good to let some of it out

[despazito]

am i mentally ill for still using tumblr or are the people quitting mentally ill

[a-quaint-device]

tired of pretending that "sex changes" by the dresden dolls isn't a Damn Good Song

[emulation-0]

im a little sad today

[swordtit]

have got to make myself a tav to get into gale's pants with

[moafleco]

i hate that duality that your mind can be your safe heaven that helps you get through some difficult things, keeps you going and brings you happiness at the worst of times. and at the very same time it could be your worst tormentor that won't let you rest and won't let you breathe, literally for no particular reason at all. and you can't leave or silence it. can't get it to stop when it gets dark in there. can't get the light in when you desperately need to feel a respite instead of suffocation.

[athousandsuns2010]

oh god i just realized today is my last day here....oh god

[samarecharm]

have u read it's just a light rain (but the storm's still comin') by westward on ao3 its a very good palace au that makes me go absolutely insane whenever i get the update email

I have not! I havent checked ao3 in a hot minute but i will look that one up!

[mooifyourecows]

my mood has plummeted the past few days because of various anxiety reasons and so ive once again uninstalled twitter on my phone and i can already feel things getting Infinitely Better™️

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[rayneydayss]

when i am at work all i can think about is wanting to kill myself. when i am at home all i can think about is wanting to kill myself.

it has taken me nine months to save enough for maybe two months of rent.

my chronic pain worsens every day i stand at that fucking register. i can feel the stress fractures forming during my shifts. all i can do when i get home is lay in bed and hope i wont be bothered by how hungry i am because i physically cannot stand in the kitchen to make myself something to eat

the burnout is so bad i can’t do anything except hate myself for not being able to do anything. i can’t pay attention to shows i enjoy, i can’t play any of my games.

this isn’t living. this isn’t even surviving. this is methodically killing me.