#it was interesting to think about this stuff though

[nqueso-emergency]

i seriously don’t understand what bucktommy shippers see in tommy though. genuinely. he starts the show as a racist misogynist and is reintroduced as somebody who has literally 0 defining character traits. he treated buck like a child. he didn’t know or care about the people in buck’s life or buck’s interests. you all claim that he’s had character growth since s2 but we never saw any evidence of that so why should we believe he’s changed? like i’m not even trying to hate here and i really don’t gaf about buddie, but seriously why are you guys so obsessed with tommy 😭

What I don't understand is why some people, like you, anon, put the entire "racist and misogynistic" atmosphere of the 118 under Gerrard completely on Tommy.

Yeah. He makes a racist joke towards Chim when he firsts comes into the 118 but no one stands up against it. In fact, people smirk at it. Even Eli. Eli explains the reason the 118 keeps Chim at arms length. I really wish people would actually watch the episode.

And if you want to get technical, we do see growth in Hen begins (time wise, Chim begins is first. Not Hen's) and when Hen shows up, Tommy is much more accepting of new people. In fact, he's interested in Hen until Gerrard opens his mouth, each time ultimately using his authority to intimidate and I know people hate this accusation but Chim never stands up for Hen in front of Gerrard or the others either.

And that's because they all know how difficult it is working under Gerrard.

By Bobby begins, it's clear that Tommy, Sal, Hen, and Chim all get along. And honestly by saying he's had no growth is an insult to both Hen and Chim's judge of character. Do you think they would willingly hang out with someone outside of work who they felt was actually racist and misogynistic?? Hell no. Didn't you watch the stuff with Jonah?? Hen hated him.

As for having no defining character traits, you're very wrong. Tommy shows up. For friends, for the wedding date, for coffee after the disaster date. He includes Eddie in a lot of his interests. He showed up at the hospital for Buck when he got hurt. He never told Buck he was stupid for believing in the curse and he wasn't embarrassed to be in public with Buck covered in boils. He stayed the night with Buck, sleeping on a tiny ass couch just to be near him. He also attended a funeral for a mummified cowboy and even dressed up.

All those things cover the shit you've said that Tommy doesn't do.

He does care for Buck's interests. He does care for the people in Buck's life. He went to a fucking zoom birthday party for Christopher ffs.

Not to mention, Tommy has acknowledged multiple times that he wasn't a good person back then. He even broke up with Buck even though he was clearly falling for Buck (and I believe already has).

Saying you don't care about buddie doesn't give you the right to say you don't see something that others do.

I don't see buddie happening. Never have. But people can still ship them. That's not a problem, and honestly, I'd never ask someone in fandom WHY they like a character or a ship or even a trope.

The issue is when people are obsessed with a character they don't like. That is where we are in the 911 fandom and it's why there's so much hate.

So. Perhaps. You should send this ask to a buddie bnf and ask them why they're so obsessed with Tommy. Especially now that he's broken up with Buck.

[mooomuzan]

— thinking about…

Boyfriend!Megumi who secretly lives for seeing you in his hoodies. He’ll grumble about you stealing them, saying “Don’t you have your own clothes?” but then hides his face when you twirl around in it. He’s this close to fainting every time you pull the sleeves over your hands.

who gets so shy when you compliment him that he mumbles, “You’re annoying,” but he’s beet red and looking at the ground like it’s the most interesting thing in the world.

who doesn’t know how to text romantically, so he’ll send random pictures of the most niche stuff.

Boyfriend!Yuji who texts you “happy birthday” so fast it’s sent at 12:01 AM because he’s afraid he’ll forget later.

who shares all his snacks with you but cries a little inside when you eat the last chip. He’d never admit it, though, because “Your happiness matters more than chips.”

who is always down for a spontaneous adventure—whether it’s stargazing or hunting for the best ramen spot at midnight. “It’s not bad, right? Okay, maybe the sketchy alley was a bad idea…”

Boyfriend!Toge who listens to you ramble about your day with the softest smile, but halfway through, his head falls onto your shoulder, and he’s fast asleep. When you poke him awake, he signs “Keep going, I’m awake now.” He’s lying.

who loves stealing your food, but when you try to take his, he’ll sign “Hands off” dramatically while guarding it like a dragon.

who sends you texts that are just emojis and expects you to decipher the whole conversation. (Spoiler: it’s always him saying he misses you.)

Boyfriend!Choso who stares at you lovingly while you’re talking, completely zoning out because he’s too busy thinking, “How did I get so lucky?”

who tries so hard to understand memes because you keep sending them, and he doesn’t want to disappoint you. (He Googles half of them.)

who tucks you into bed like you’re royalty and refuses to let you get up without a kiss. “No kiss, no freedom.”

Boyfriend!Yuta who texts you good morning, goodnight, and random updates like, “Just saw a cool bird. Thought of you.”

who gets so flustered when you hold his hand that he forgets how to walk straight. “Wait, left foot first, right?”

who offers you his scarf in cold weather, even if it means he’s freezing. You have to force it back on him, but he’s just happy you cared.

[taeyongdoyoung]

that's a warning

summary: your professor's age is not a problem to you. and neither is his dark secret... pairing: professor!chan x uni student!reader genre: dark academia, vampire!au, smut warnings: professor/student dynamic, age gap (unspecified), mentions of toxic friend, descriptions of blood, kissing, biting, eating out, blowjob, daddy kink (who's surprised?), ddlg implied, size kink, unprotected sex, forbidden relationship, insecurities, danger kink author's note: this is based on a dream i had + inspired by railway, obviously. read at your own risk 🥵 too many references to the song's lyrics in bold, sawrryyy word count: 3k

The moment you set your eyes on Professor Bang, you know that you need to have him. You've never felt an attraction so intense, so overpowering, so sinister in its obsession. You are willing to go to any lengths to get close to him. Even if it kills you.

It starts off innocent, almost childlike. The way you stay after his lectures to ask him silly questions (you know the answers to) about the homework. Sometimes you ask him about the location of other lecture halls (even though you've been to them hundreds of times). Sometimes you go to his office hours just to be alone with him (even though you are perfectly confident in understanding the study material).

At first, Chan accepts your incessant flood of questions with an easy-going smile. If he's being honest with himself, he likes the attention. It's been a while since someone's been that interested in talking to him. Especially someone so…young. Most students usually avoid his intense stare. He's been told it's far too intimidating. He tries to be welcoming to everyone but he's not sure he's doing a good job.

But as the semester nears its end, his patience wears thin. You always get full marks on your assignments and quizzes so he doesn't understand why you are constantly asking for his "help". And he's certain you know your way around the university better than any other student. You're always on time and your homework is flawless 100% of the time. So, he really doesn't get it. Are you messing with him? Is it funny to you to joke around with a poor old lonely professor?

Chan's decided he's had enough. And this time, when you catch him alone after the lecture, he's going to confront you.

"Cut the act," Professor Bang scolds you directly. "I know you know the answer to that question. Why are you doing this to me?"

"Doing what, Professor Bang?" you ask innocently, while batting your eyelashes.

"Pretending you're dumb. It's obvious you're a top student, so why are you always asking me stuff?" he grunts and pins you down with his intense gaze you're so addicted to.

Hell, you've never felt more terrified. It excites you.

"Don't you know already?" you mumble quietly. You want to look away but you're trapped in his beautiful dark eyes. So you don't.

"Is it fun, messing with an old man like me, huh? Is it some stupid college dare?" Chan asks, his insecurities getting the worst of him.

"You're not old," you insist passionately. "There's no dare. I just…like you."

"You…like me?" he repeats in disbelief.

You nod furiously, trying to convince him of your sincerity.

"But…why?"

"What do you mean why? You're so smart and handsome and sometimes even cute. I like…how you explain stuff like you don't think anyone is dumb, you're so patient and…warm."

Huh. Warm? It's been a while since someone's used that word to describe him, Chan thought.

"You do realize we could both get in trouble if…" he can't even believe he's even considering this. "If we were to…pursue something outside of the university walls?"

Fuck it, he said it.

"I know. I won't tell anyone, I promise," you are desperately grasping at straws as you find yourself so close to the one thing you've ever wanted more than anything.

Professor Bang shakes his head.

"I'm not asking you to keep it a complete secret. Just…if you choose to share it with people, be careful who you trust."

"I understand, Professor, I'll be careful," you promise.

"And…call me Chris or Chan or something," he shrugs. "When it's just us two."

God. It's really happening.

"Let me take you out to a restaurant," he offers suddenly. "Tomorrow evening?"

"That sounds amazing!" you grin excitedly.

Your first date with Chan arrives and you are so happy you feel like you could die. You don't wanna jinx things so soon and don't tell anyone where you're going.

"You look stunning," he compliments your dress as he pulls a chair out for you.

"Thank you so much, Chris," you smile and take a seat. "You look absolutely dashing, as always."

He chuckles but doesn't respond rightaway.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing, it's just…I don't hear that much. Especially not from beautiful young women such as yourself."

"You're surely joking?" you frown. "Anyone would kill to be in my shoes right now."

"You're too kind," Chan replies, not seeming to believe your words and you decide to drop the subject. For now. "What would you like to drink?"

"Hmm…maybe some red wine?"

"Good choice," he smirks. "And food?"

"I'm really into pasta these days!" you squeal with excitement.

Chris orders for the two of you, making your heart flutter for the hundredth time. He's just…so dependable.

Till the food arrives, you busy yourselves with getting to know each other better. Outside of the university walls, it turns out you are both passionate about things other than academic endeavours. And with each glass of red, it becomes easier to share stuff about yourself with him.

As the evening nears its natural conclusion, Chan insists on paying the bill for the food and drinks.

"Now I feel bad," you pout adorably, clinging onto his arm for support, because all the wine made your legs slightly unstable. "Let's go for coffee!"

"I don't…really drink coffee," Chris confesses shyly.

"Tea, then! Please, I don't want to go home just yet. This night is so perfect, I don't want it to end."

"Okay, okay," he agrees easily.

You lead the way to one of your favourite cafés. This time, you excitedly pay for the warm beverages.

"It's snowing outside!" you marvel at the pretty snowflakes falling, illuminated by the street lights.

"Good thing we're all cozy and inside, then," Chan chuckles.

"Yeah…" you smile softly. "I really like you, Chan," you admit.

"I know, you said that a couple of times," he shakes his head, amused.

"Yes, but…you didn't say anything. Do you like me, too?" you inquire self-consciously.

"I do like you. You're very clever and funny and obviously super pretty."

"Really?" you blink furiously to stop yourself from tearing up. You don't get to hear something like that by someone you admire so much. Someone who inspires you to be as diligent and hard-working as him. Scratch that. You don't get to hear words like that very often. It sometimes strikes you how badly you need to be acknowledged for your efforts.

"You must know that."

"No, actually, I don't," you smile sadly. "But it's really nice of you to say it. True or not."

Chan stretches his hand out across the table to hold yours.

"Hey. It's true, okay?"

"Guess I'll stick around to find out, yeah? And maybe I'll help you believe it, too," you suggest.

"Maybe. I'd really like that."

And stick around you do. The next semester, Chan is no longer your Professor, so you don't have to worry so much about getting in trouble with the university's authorities. Eventually, as things start becoming more serious, you decide to share the news about your boyfriend's identity with a few of your closest friends.

Luckily, most of them are super supportive and happy about your relationship. They tell you that you've looked happier recently and are pleased to finally know the reason. There is one friend, however, who is completely against.

"I don't approve. You can't date him," she outright says.

"Can't? Excuse me?" you become aggravated. You've had some fights in the past, situations when she's been jealous of you hanging out with other friends and has done some toxic stuff behind your back. So, her reaction doesn't come as a complete surprise. But still, it sucks that she hasn't outgrown this kind of pettiness.

"He's like…too old for you. And the fact he was your Professor is just…gross."

"How can you say that? You've never even met him."

"Then, let me meet him."

"Why would you meet him if you've already made up your mind?"

"To make sure he's worthy of you, duh."

"That's my call to make. Not yours."

And with that, you leave. This is just…too much. Later, you talk to another friend about this situation to get a second opinion.

"Nah, fuck her. I mean, it's your relationship, she can't dictate how you feel or who you're seeing romantically."

"Right? That's exactly what I've been thinking."

"It sucks that she said those stuff but maybe you're better off," your other friend shrugs.

"Yeah…For the time being, I'll distance myself from her. If she starts acting like an adult, only then will I consider letting her back in."

"That's totally valid," your friend agrees. "Take your time and look after your mental health."

"Thank you so much. I knew you'd get it."

"Always!"

Soon after that, you hang out at Chan's place and you decide to talk talk to him about the falling-out with that toxic friend.

"Well, technically, I am too old for you."

"The fuck you are! Are you taking her side?" you cry out passionately.

"Hell, no! I'm just saying…you could find any college guy your age and…"

"No, shut up, Chris!" you shake your head, refusing to entertain such an idea. "I don't want anyone but you!"

"But I'm dangerous for you," Chan sighs. But you can't believe that. He's been nothing but kind and accepting in the short time you've known each other.

"What do you mean?" you ask.

"You'd think I'm crazy if I told you," he grins somewhat devilishly. "It'd be better if I showed you instead. But then, I'd have to kill you."

"W-what?" you stammer, his behaviour totally unlike the gentle guy you're used to seeing.

Suddenly, Chris grabs your wrist and starts pulling you somewhere.

"W-where are we g-going?" you ask helplessly but he doesn't respond. He's too strong to fight him back so you just try to keep up with his speed and follow him down the stairs and into the basement. Where you'll find answers to questions you didn't even know you were supposed to be asking.

When he unlocks the door, you are greeted with red. A lot of it.

"What is all this?"

"Come on, sweetheart, I thought you were smarter than that," Chris chuckles.

"It's…blood banks," you state the obvious, feeling dumber than ever.

"Wow, you don't say," Chris replies sarcastically.

"Why…why do you have all this blood in your basement? Is it like a…kink thing?!" you gasp in shock.

"No, darling, it's not a kink thing," he laughs, the idea incredibly amusing. "Take a guess."

"Are you a serial killer?" you try to think of a logical explanation.

"You're too realistic," Chris sighs. "Think…something you never thought possible."

"You're…a vampire!" you exclaim triumphantly.

"Bingo," he confirms unenthusiastically. "So, your friend was correct to worry. I am too old for you. And bad for you. I never should have let this go so far."

You shake your head.

"N-no, she's not right," you disagree. "I don't care."

"You don't care?" Chris tilts your chin up, facing you directly. "Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to restrain myself from sucking your blood dry?"

You gulp nervously but refuse to believe he'd actually do that. Especially considering he hasn't done so already…

"Why did you become a Professor surrounded by so many humans if self-control is so hard for you?" you push back cleverly.

"It's never been a problem for me to control my thirst. Until you."

"Then, why did you let me get so close?" you inquire.

"Because I was weak…And lonely. I shouldn't have let you in."

Your eyes tear up with emotion.

"Are you saying you'd be happier without me?"

"Happier?" Chris scoffs. "No, I wouldn't be happier. But you would be safer without me."

"Fuck that," you argue. "I am safe when it's just you and me. Knowing you're a vampire changes nothing about how I feel about you."

"Then, you're even more insane than I am," Chris sighs, unable to deny the growing tension between you two.

You kiss him roughly to prove him right, digging your fingers into his soft hair. He kisses you back just as hungrily, incapable of letting you go.

Yes, he may be dangerous for you. But so are you. Willingly pursuing him, not running away from him despite knowing the truth.

He grabs your hair and pulls back, exposing your neck.

"Last chance to get out of here. That's a warning," Chris whispers darkly.

"Is that a threat or a promise?" you grin, completely trusting him.

Even if he was your Professor, even if he is way older than you than you initially thought, even if he is a blood-sucking predator, there is no one else you'd trust so unconditionally, so irrevocably.

"What if I hurt you?" he asks, a hint of worry making his dark eyes glow with warmth.

"You couldn't," you insist and close your eyes, tilting your neck. "You can bite me, if you want."

"You're crazy," Chris repeats.

"I trust you," you speak your thoughts out loud.

And this is his breaking point. He attacks your neck with his sharp fangs, not wanting to hold back any longer. The bite stings but in such a sweet way you would be happy to go, if this was your fate…As he drinks from you, you weakly wrap your hands around his neck for support, needing him to ground you. Just as badly as he needed one taste from your delicious blood. If your blood is what Chris needs for survival, then he will surely be your undoing.

Somehow, against all reason, Chan manages to detach his fangs from your neck.

"Fuck," he caresses your neck, smearing the blood all over your porcelain skin. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," you murmur dazedly. "I'm okay."

He holds you close, kissing your cheeks and trying to clean up the mess he made.

"Let's get out of here," Chan suggests and lifts you in his arms, carrying you back to the coziness of his place.

"I don't mind," you reassure him. "You being a vampire, that is. I love every part about you. I love...you."

"You…love me?" Chan gasps in surprise.

"I do, I love you," you say once again for good measure.

He doesn't say anything, just kisses you again in disbelief. You hug him tightly, finding so much comfort in his arms. Whatever you've heard about vampires doesn't apply to Chan. He's radiating so much warmth you feel you could burn.

"Hold on tight," he warns and you grip the headboard top rail for dear life, as Chan makes sure to show you blood is not the only thing he's interested in drinking.

As he laps up your juices greedily, you find yourself on the verge of losing your sanity. Your hands give out and you let go of the bed's railings and opt for burying your fingers into his curls once more for support.

"Chris, please, please," you cry out, not even sure what you're begging for. For him to stop? For sweet release? It doesn't matter, as long as he stays with you.

Soon enough, your prayers are answered and you start seeing stars floating in the middle of the room.

"Did I kill you already?" he laughs upon seeing your reaction.

"Try harder," you tease him, even though you are already so gone.

"Don't say I didn't warn you," Chris shrugs.

He takes off his jeans and stuffs your mouth full with his giant cock. You try to babble something but it's no use and your helplessness only turns him on more. You hug the back of his knees and let him fuck your throat as he pleases, even though you don't have much of a choice in the matter. Your vision is cloudy with tears and you can't even ask for mercy as his cum starts flooding your mouth. If you thought him drinking your blood was overwhelming, this is on a whole 'nother level of dizzying.

Once he's done using and abusing your throat, he pulls his cock out, smirking at you from above.

"You okay, sweetheart? Still alive?"

"Y-yes, d-daddy," you manage to croak out weakly.

Chris shakes his head in amusement upon hearing the sudden title.

"Then, I guess Daddy's gonna have to give ya a rough ride so you'll forget your own name, huh? How does that sound?"

"More, please," you plead desperately and he makes good on his promise.

He enters you without another warning and you can't keep your screams inside.

"G-god, y-yes," you moan.

"God isn't in this room, darling," Chris cackles maniacally. "The devil, however…"

You kiss him again because he's talking so much your brain can't keep up.

"S-so b-big," you cry.

"Yeah? Too big for my little girl?" he teases you.

"N-no. P-perfect. You're perfect," you insist stubbornly.

Chris fucks into you with supernatural stamina and you are grateful for that because even though you want to, you aren't able of keeping pace with him. Instead, you are happy to just hold onto him and focusing all your energy into…well, not passing out. You're so wet for him that his enormous size slides in and out easily, satisfying both of you with the intensity of the feeling. At last, you cum together, overwhelmed by the passion and affection you feel for each other.

He collapses on top of you, not wanting to pull out just yet. You welcome his weight like he's a giant blanket, comforting you.

"Don't wanna let go of you," Chan murmurs cutely.

You stroke his hair once more with a gentle touch. How is this man who has so many more years of experience still such a cute boy, desperate for tenderness?

"Then, don't. I'm all yours to keep," you chuckle weakly.

"That wouldn't be very productive to our academic future," Chan complains.

"It's okay. I feel like we've both earned a little break," you point out.

"From university? Sure. But when it comes to us two…I need no break. No brakes."

"Nicely said," you giggle, ready for another round on this train that never sleeps.

The End

[vidavalor]

So, Aziraphale arrived in Edinburgh with a briefcase we never see him open and a hat that reads, among other things, "PRESS 66" on it, right?

And we might think that these are just Aziraphale's journalist cosplaying accessories but I think there are some hints that there's a bit more going on here than we might think-- all of it very relevant to The Finale.

We think that Aziraphale's arrival in Edinburgh is the first time that we see these things but, in true Good Omens form, the hat and briefcase are both actually glimpsed in a prior scene... rather significantly placed in that earlier scene, even.

Here they are, sitting together, the hat atop the briefcase, both in front of Jimbriel's once Fly-containing box, beside/behind the memory-wiped Muriel, in the scene below:

So, as Muriel is sitting there, not remembering Aziraphale, and as Aziraphale is sitting there, remembering Muriel and thinking all the things about the fact that they don't remember him at all? In the shot between them is the box into which Jim put his memory and brought it to Crowley and Aziraphale for safe keeping. In front of that box? Is Aziraphale's press hat and briefcase, seemingly drawing some connections between the journalist accessories and the memory plots in S2. Hmm...

What this scene also shows is that Aziraphale didn't just magic this stuff up as props when he arrived in Scotland. Even though we didn't see them in the car on the way up, they were there on the passenger seat for him to retrieve upon his arrival. He brought them with him from the shop. He packed them overnight and they were there, all ready to go, prior to Muriel's arrival, which coincided with Crowley coming over and moving the plants out of the car because Aziraphale planned to take it to Scotland. Why does this matter?

Because it might signal that there's more to the briefcase and the hat with its press credentials than we might initially suspect.

I think it would be safe to say that Aziraphale, by this point in the story, would be concerned that his memories were in danger.

He knows he's always been on a collision course with falling and this is all escalating pretty quickly in S2 in the two days prior to Aziraphale packing this press stuff and taking the car. Gabriel was The Supreme Archangel and he couldn't remember who he was and the archangels had shown up to threaten them and say that they're going to be spying on him even more closely, sending another angel to bug them the next day... the memory-wiped Muriel being quite an interesting choice, as that's sending quite a threatening message. Aziraphale also had roped Maggie and Nina into this and he knew he was likely going to have a confrontation with Heaven and Hell coming.

One of the first things he'd be concerned about would be his memories, right? and it's here where we can mention what we later learn about what Heaven can and cannot do regarding those memories... things that are new to us but that Aziraphale likely would have already known and factored into his plan, as we'll see.

Hints are given to this all season via Gabriel but it really becomes overt in this scene here:

This scene proves that Gabriel's memories aren't just in The Fly in S2-- they're also still in his mind. His memories are shown to be in two places at once. Gabriel's memories-- ones even directly related to the trauma he underwent-- actually began to come back before The Fly, in this scene. Gabriel felt safe and like he was talking with someone who could understand in this scene with Crowley so the memories began to come back for him.

The point here is that this scene shows that, when Gabriel "took his memories out" and put them into The Fly, what he was really doing was basically backing them up. He "uploaded" his memories into The Fly for safekeeping so he could retrieve them later, as a way to keep it so that they wouldn't be erased forever, but those same memories are still also on the "hard drive" of his mind. They were just mostly inaccessible to him for almost all of S2 because of trauma.

Before you say well, Gabriel might be a special case because he took his own memories out to avoid Heaven attacking him? Consider that Crowley didn't have a chance to do that-- but he tells Gabriel he knows how Gabriel feels.

Crowley has had the same experiences with his own memories. He's been able to bring some back at different times, without a lot of context, but a lot remains blocked. Crowley saying that he's been able to retrieve some memories means that those memories are still there in his mind, just very painful and difficult to access.

The idea might be that their memory loss is actually trauma-blocking. If Crowley's situation has the same effect as Gabriel's, it suggests that Heaven can't actually take people's memories-- they can only block them.

This would then be suggesting, as a lot in S2 did, that Gabriel didn't develop retrograde amnesia from taking his memories out-- he developed amnesia from the trauma he underwent.

When he felt safe enough to confront some of that trauma, the memories started to come back to him a bit.

What does this have to do with Aziraphale's briefcase, you ask?

It is connected because Gabriel's memory loss being from the trauma of Heaven trying to kill him, not from putting his memories into The Fly, proves that an angel could take his out their memories and not get amnesia from doing so.

Gabriel's story is showing that they could take out their memories whenever they want and still retain those memories also in their minds and be perfectly fine.

It's showing that Aziraphale could have backed up his memories in S2 without experiencing memory loss-- and the press hat and the briefcase are tied to just how he might have done that.

Aziraphale might have taken one look at Gabriel and his memory situation and the archangels circling the shop and thought that it would be a good idea to backup his memories and store them somewhere safe for if this all went pear-shaped.

What's interesting is that then, in a parallel shot to Aziraphale arriving in Edinburgh, we have this later scene when Aziraphale returns to London... note what's missing:

We see him park by the suit shop-- but no suitcase/briefcase this time. No hat. He's also taken off the raincoat. We never see them again for the rest of the season but we see a whole bunch of scenes that hint at where they are and why Aziraphale has left them in that location.

In this moment, we spend a strange amount of time on watching Aziraphale get out of the car and look around, hands-free, pat The Bentley, go for a little walk for a moment...

He talks to Nina, he goes back to the bookshop and greets Crowley and gets an armful of plants. The Bentley is largely the focus of the scene with Nina as well and its moving up in a scene that involves Nina and her bicycle-- another "mad 'American' woman on a bicycle", in parallel to Anathema in S1-- recalls Aziraphale miracling a bike rack onto the boot of The Bentley to transport Anathema's bike back to Jasmine Cottage. The key to getting Anathema and her bike safely home to her cottage was the bike rack Aziraphale made happen; the key to getting him and Crowley safely to the South Downs Cottage might be what Aziraphale stashed in the trunk of the car on his trip.

Here's where we can see that scenes before and around this involving Shax and Crowley show us pretty emphatically where the briefcase and the press hat are not located in the car...

They can't be on the passenger seat as they were on the way to Edinburgh because Shax wouldn't have been able to sit there when she got into the car on the drive back from Edinburgh. They also can't be in the backseat because the scene adjacent to Aziraphale's return to London is he and Crowley loading the plants back into the backseat. Crowley would have handed him his things if they were back there.

So, we have all of these shots of Aziraphale's return that are, among other things, emphasizing that the hat, the raincoat, and the briefcase are all not things he's taking out of The Bentley's trunk upon his return, even if they are his belongings and he brought them with him from the bookshop. He's intentionally leaving them all in the Crowley's car.

Aziraphale definitely did not leave his memories in a briefcase in The Resurrectionist Pub, even though that's the last place we saw the briefcase. How do we know that?

Because let's say that we're right here and Aziraphale did put his memories into the briefcase... either into something else that he then locked into the briefcase or just into the briefcase itself. What's the one problem with this?

He locked them in there for safekeeping, right? So...

He can't just leave the briefcase for Crowley-- he also needs to leave the key to the briefcase, yes? He needs to leave the combination somewhere... but he also has to hide that combination key. The briefcase wouldn't be very safe if just anyone could figure out how to open it, right? It needs to be something only Crowley can understand.

This is why Aziraphale is not a private detective in Edinburgh but a journalist because the key is in the hat.

How does one open the locked briefcase?

Press 66. 😉

The briefcase and the hat go together because the briefcase cannot be opened without the press credentials in the hat which, in very Good Omens and Crowley & Aziraphale form, look like they're one thing but are really another when you consider alternate meanings of words. Aziraphale knows that only Crowley would see Aziraphale's hat atop that briefcase and the 'Press 66' and work out that it's how to open the briefcase.

It would also be very Good Omens to nod to famous film Macguffins and then make them actually important in Good Omens' story. While a "what's in the briefcase?" thing here is very Pulp Fiction, the film that inspired the briefcase in Pulp Fiction is 1955's atomic noir Kiss Me Deadly, which is being referenced all over the place in S2.

The scene where Aziraphale picks Shax up from the side of the road is a homage to Kiss Me Deadly's opening scene, Gabriel's memory issues and his "I am in The Fly" note is similar to part of the central mystery of that film, and Kiss Me Deadly is the origin of the popularization of the word vavoom/va-va-voom.

Like basically every other film referenced in Good Omens, it's also known for innovative use when it comes to language-- particularly, coded cinematic language, in this case. Like North by Northwest, which is referenced in both parts of 1941 so far, Kiss Me Deadly found innovative ways to get around the Hays Code to tell its story. References to The Maltese Falcon in the story are also likely in relation to that story using etymology-based language to queer code aspects of its story, in a similar way to Good Omens, but also that The Maltese Falcon itself is a bit of a MacGuffin. In Good Omens, though, it seems like they're actually winking at those by making Macguffin-alluding things actually important parts of the story.

Anyway, the biggest fan theory about what's in the briefcase in Pulp Fiction is based around the combination to the briefcase being 666 in the film and the idea is that it's Marcellus Wallace's soul, which he sold to the devil. Famously, the audience never sees what's inside the briefcase. We might be saying here that the combination to Aziraphale's briefcase being 66 may be nodding to Pulp Fiction's briefcase a bit and hinting at the Satan in The Final 15 ideas. 66 is also tied to Route 66 and rock 'n roll in America, Buddy Holly, and the paralleling Gabriel & Beez flashback, maybe especially hinting at memory-related things happening with the briefcase.

I won't spoil you on what's in the briefcase in Kiss Me Deadly but let's just say that it goes along with Good Omens pretty well thematically... in a much, much darker way. The film being very bleak noir makes it very different in tone from Good Omens but the fact that the briefcase is actually is relevant to the story in the end of that film might also hint that Aziraphale's disappeared briefcase might wind up being important in The Finale, too.

Adding to this theory is also that another briefcase in The Bentley's trunk/boot was also something shown earlier in S2-- on a very significant night in Crowley & Aziraphale's history:

When Aziraphale is in Edinburgh, we see him intentionally hamming up his newspaper man persona and, in doing so, he takes the briefcase into The Resurrectionist Pub, right? Bit of foreshadowing there as to what will happen to Aziraphale and what will need to happen to bring him back?

Yes, we don't see the briefcase again after this scene but I doubt he left it in the pub because it would be useless to Crowley without the hat, on which Aziraphale has hidden the briefcase combination hidden in plain sight. Aziraphale was seen wearing the hat in one scene set after we last saw the briefcase, proving that both of them and the raincoat are in the trunk of The Bentley:

Aziraphale wore this whole get up to Edinburgh so that, if anyone was watching him, they'd think he was Muriel-like cosplaying a newspaper man. I mean... we know the trench coat is a little Columbo-esque, but why wouldn't he just be a private detective and not a journalist, if the goal was just to play a role to help solve the Gabriel mystery? Because he had to be a old movie-esque journalist so he could have the word press there in the credentials, only for its other meaning for the briefcase combination.

Aziraphale definitely had a whole other list of motivations for being the one to go to Edinburgh. He wanted Crowley to rest in the shop and to talk to Gabriel, he wanted to be the one to go tackle the mystery, and he wanted to work on his 1827 issues by going to the graveyard again... but we might find we can add to that list that he also realized it would be a good opportunity to hide his memories in a briefcase in The Bentley with actions that are right there, in plain sight of anyone who is watching-- including us 😉-- but might not be deemed suspicious.

Parallel-wise, the briefcase and The Bentley are the matchbox and the moving box and PRESS 66 is Aziraphale's equivalent to I AM IN THE FLY... all before Aziraphale and Crowley actually figured out what Gabriel and Beez did to protect Gabriel.

He's pressing on the press hat he's leaving for Mr. Six Shots of Espresso... 😂 The press card is in his hat, like a feather... Crowley's "it'd be a real feather in your cap wing" joke from the foreshadowing "I'll be damned"/"It's not so bad when you get used to it" scene in 1.01...

That demon doesn't know it yet but he's driving around with Aziraphale in the trunk because Aziraphale figured out how to get around the worst case scenario. He knew he was on a collision course with falling and he found a way to potentially dodge the memory loss by stashing his memories for Crowley in The Bentley.

His enthusiasm in Edinburgh is him barely able to contain his amusement at getting one over on anyone watching him who think they know what they're seeing but don't realize what he's actually up to.

No wonder why he was walking on air when he got back to London-- it was mission accomplished. He'd managed to leave Crowley the ability to bring him back, tucked away in the safest spot possible.

The bookseller who, like the others, is a metaphorical book/paper, left their out for Heaven and Hell trying to kill him for Crowley's safekeeping in a briefcase... the thing people use for...

...paperwork. 😂

But wait... there's one other big question, though, yes?

Why didn't Aziraphale tell Crowley this?

There absolutely was enough time and opportunity to tell Crowley he'd backed up his memories and left them in The Bentley's trunk.

The fact that this didn't come up seems wild, right, because they both know that Crowley has been having a steady anxiety attack about Heaven and Hell circling all week. We would think that, if Aziraphale had figured out this plan to circumvent that threat, the first thing he would have done would be to tell Crowley about it, yes?

Except... while I wrote this meta from the perspective of what the end result of Aziraphale's actions with the briefcase might be in The Finale, I don't actually think that was Aziraphale's own motivation for doing what he did.

Aziraphale didn't take out his memories and leave them in the briefcase in The Bentley for Crowley as a backup plan for them to elude a form of death for Aziraphale.

He left them there for Crowley to find and have after Aziraphale was already gone. Why else would Crowley need the combination on the credentials on the hat, right?

If Aziraphale had intended on his memories in the briefcase being a plan to save himself, he would have told Crowley about it so that Crowley would know. Instead, though, it's something of a suicide note. He left them for Crowley to find and have in the future.

I think The Bentley was even warning of this suicide ideation and showing concern upon the return to London for Aziraphale over what he had put in its trunk. The car is worried. [I love Good Omens-- when else am I going to type a sentence like that? 😂]

Aziraphale first parked it in front of Battye [madness] & Palm [to take]. It's a shop reflective of a lot of that depression and suicide ideation happening in Aziraphale's story and leading to his fall that I looked at in The Devil Takes The Hindmost.

The Bentley then drives itself-- and all Aziraphale's Aziraphaleness in the briefcase-- up a few feet. What is The Bentley then aligning Aziraphale with?

Death.

The car parked itself in front of the Give Me Death half of Give Me Coffee or Give Me Death...

... until Aziraphale told it to go back to where he parked it. Then, The Bentley backed up a few feet to Battye & Palm and all the madness that is the rest of the season. The car was foreshadowing the end, parking itself right along where it would be parked the last time we'd see it in S2.

The trunk is aligned with Give Me Death in The Final 15...

...fulfilling the foreshadowing of the end of S1.

[buskingalbatross]

AmazingPhil channel marathon musings

during a pre-show q&a back in november, in response to a question about what show someone should binge next, dan said they should watch all of the AmazingPhil channel from the start. I was not the person who asked this (nor was I at this show), but regardless I did decide I wanted to take dan’s suggestion seriously. just a few days ago, I finished watching all of AmazingPhil in chronological order. and now i really want to talk about what it was like and why I would recommend marathoning his channel to pretty much anyone—because it was a blast.

I watched all of the 369 currently public AmazingPhil videos over the course of 35 days, which is from my perspective a pretty casual marathon. 369/35 = roughly 11 videos a day, though due to algorithm and monetization policy stuff, phil’s videos became longer in duration around 2015-2016; for many years, most of his videos were around 4 minutes long or less, which for me meant that early on in this marathon I was watching more videos per day, and then later on my pace slowed. phil’s videos with dan are usually pretty long as well, so if I had something like a baking video or wdapteo up next to watch, I might have only watched one or two videos that day. 

unsurprisingly, watching all of phil’s videos in order in a relatively short span of time gave me a really cool perspective on how phil has grown as a person and as a YouTuber over the past eighteen years. surprising to me, though, was how I felt like watching his channel in such a linear way felt a bit like coming to know who phil is for the very first time, again. despite having watched his videos for over a decade, i feel like i understand his style and creativity and personality more fully, and in general better, than I did before. watching 2007 phil become 2009 phil become 2011 phil and so on in the span of a few days or a week meant seeing clearly how his sense of humor evolved, how his editing and creativity developed, how his perspectives on life and relationship with his audience shifted. much as when you binge an entire tv or book series and immediately afterwards feel like you’re brimming with information, and have all the context, that’s sort of how I felt. and it was new for me because I’d never done that with phil’s content before—I’d never followed the course of his life the way you might a fictional character’s. 

AmazingPhil is also an incredible capsule of 2000s, 2010s, and 2020s Western internet culture, obviously. it’s like an anthropologist from the future with a very hyperspecific thesis topic’s dream treasure horde. what a person can learn about one corner of the world, and one corner of society, from AmazingPhil’s videos is, well, a lot. I see so much cultural value in AmazingPhil, it’s insane. his videos are not sketches, essays, and commentaries on society and life like Dan’s, but I’d make the argument (as I’m sure most of you would) that they’re just as important and critical to helping people understand themselves and the world they live in. and the kind of people they want to be, too, perhaps.

there were also certain videos that stuck with me more than they had in the past. I discovered new favorite videos and videos that I considered more interesting than I previously had. (I tried just now to make a list of some of these but it rapidly got too long, so instead I’ll restrict myself to mentioning only one, a new favorite, from 2021: “I Got Catfished.” - which i think is a fantastic example of phil’s storytelling style). dnp have both said before that they view life as a performance – and phil is without a sliver of doubt a magical and incredible performer. he knows so well how to tell stories with words, pacing, structures, and effects that are hilarious and entertaining; he turns anecdotes from his life into these amazing whimsical pieces of art made in a way no other person has ever made things. YouTube has from the beginning presented him with the perfect way to be creative in a way that suits him. and more than that, i found that it was never even remotely unpleasant to watch his videos every day for over a month. there is simply not an AmazingPhil video that doesn’t bring me joy and make me sit there smiling like a fool. my cheek muscles are probably stronger than they were 35 days ago. 

so, to you I say, go: watch all of AmazingPhil, draw your own conclusions from his current oeuvre and deepen your parasocial relationship with Phil Lester in ways you cannot yet comprehend. I really recommend. 

(final notes: one side effect of watching all of phil’s videos was being unexpectedly yet thoroughly convinced he does indeed possess psychic talents. even though i don’t believe in magical anything, i do now believe phil lester inherited prescience from his grandmother.) 

(also dan is completely right that every time phil changes his hair, he regenerates into an entirely new man.)

(also also I made an AmazingPhil spotify playlist that is highly specific to my music tastes but that anyone is welcome to listen to all the same) ✨🐗💙🥱

[ppnuggiexxx]

-> period headcannons || whb

• characters :: paimon ,, morax ,, amy ,, barbatos

• contains :: fingering ,, paimon's blood fetish obviously ,, clitoral stimulation ,, mentions of both heavy & light periods ,, nasty stuff bc its period blood and im on my period writing this ,, somewhat switch paimon ,, sub amy ,, morax ,, and barbatos ,, afab reader ,, fem reader ,, oral sex ,, face riding ,, vaginal penetration ,, foaming at the mouth restraining myself from adding ronove and glasyal ,, sorry for the excessive word usage of clit ,, noose mention & usage (barbatos) ,, horns for leveraging (barbatos)

- paimon

| • the moment you complain about cramping paimon is all ears ,, after all when you first had your period in hell he was the most interested by it in gehenna

| • it was a bit selfish for him ,, but he couldnt contain his fantasies about period sex ,, how it wouldnt only fulfill his interests and kink but also help you with cramping

| • thus paimon is the first to offer to help ,, ready to assist in any way possible ! he doesnt mind all the blood that comes with ,, rather the opposite; hes quite excited and turned on

| • in the past ,, it was angel blood that he'd enjoy . killing angels wasnt anything new ,, but when their blood spattered onto him it just changed his whole motive

| • when his fingers first enter you ,, he doesn't know what to expect . if youre having a heavy period he'll definitely be surprised by how much comes out ,, though if its light he still enjoys what blood does show

| • paimon's quite traversed with the female body ,, not having to insert his fingers too far in to find your g-spot . massaging the area softly ,, he enjoys the moans pulled form you

| • with you on his lap ,, your back against his chest and legs spread he'll take advantage of the position

| • pressing kisses to your neck and whispering compliments to you ,, one hand occupied with fingering you and the other rubbing circles on your clit

| • if you dont feel up for fingering he'll gladly offer his mouth in replacement ,, taking his time as he eats you out

| • he doesnt mind how bloody his face becomes ,, pressing kisses to your thighs and painting both your bodies with blood

| • every time you get your period ,, hes over the moon and ecstatic about it ,, ready to help you if thats what you so wish . hes just a call away !

- amy

| • he's not too knowledgeable about periods ,, but he does freak out at first ,, thinking youre about to die on him and that was the last thing he needed

| • of course when you explain it all to him ,, he somewhat understands but is more concerned with the fact youre hurting because of it

| • he'll ask if theres anything he can do to take that pain away ,, and with the newfound knowledge of period sex ,, it ends up a little like this :

| • with amy on his back and arms wrapped around your waist ,, youre placed perfectly and ride his face ,, spewing degrading images into his head as he eats you out

| • he becomes more sloppy the more worked up he becomes ,, but after being given advice (he wont say from who) he does focus more on your clitoras after learning it stimulates you more and brings more pleasure

| • " i wonder how satan would think seeing you like this ?" you whispered ,, hand curling into his hair and the other hand on his horn ,, " knowing one of his trusted friend and subordinate is being used like nothing more than a sex toy ."

| • he gets riled up easily ,, and its so easy to put him in degrading situations such as this

| • only using him like hes nothing more ,, maybe sprinkling a little about how gehenna may view him in general should they know just how easily you use him

| • thats not to say you cant ride his dick either ,, keeping him down on his back so you can set the pace yourself ,, please yourself however fast or slow you wish

| • he'll whine and moan about you going slow ,, but youre the one in charge ultimately ,, and he'll follow any instructions given to him

| • rubbing his thumb lightly on your clit while you bounce on him ,, keeping his hands to himself if you ordered him to

| • amy is another person you could always go to if you ever need a little help during your period :) always offering a good time and allowing you to let any anger or frustration out

- morax

| • morax is already knowledgeable with this and knows that medicine isnt the only remedy for your pain

| • after work he will offer himself ,, wanting to take your pain away (alas he has no uterus to claim your cramps) ,, encouraging you to be rough if it helps with your pain and anger more

| • he'll give you a few small chocolates throughout the day (for cravings and as a natural aphrodisiac)

| • when youre both alone ,, whether it be in his room or yours (anywhere from prying eyes really) he'll be unclothed and ready for however you wish to go about it

| • whether its sitting on his face first or having him finger you he's willing to help anyway

| • thick fingers moving in and out of you ,, the other circling your clit as blood attaches to his skin ,, soft moans coming from you

| • his middle and pointer will curl into your g-spot ,, rubbing gently against your clit to pleasure you more

| • morax doesnt mind any mess that comes with this ,, only embracing it as its natural for your body

| • he'll slowly unwrap some of the bandages around his head ,, lowering his mouth to you and licking softly up your labia and towards your clit

| • hes one of the best to receive head from of all the devils ,, morax enjoys taking his time with you and ensuring nothing but pleasure and your safety above all

| • his bandages on his body will be more bloody but he doesnt care for it ,, he does change them often but at this moment he couldnt care for it at all

| • 10/10 cramp remover

- barbatos

| • oh no ! this will not do at all ! barbatos doesnt need his sunshine moping around the palace ,, in pain and miserable

| • he makes sure to take some private time away from work to help your needs ,, always happy to lend a hand to soothe your pain

| • the other devils would understand surely ! of course they would ! they all love you dearly and you being in pain is the last thing they want for you

| • and barbatos is just being a helpful and kind devil

today ,, offering to help take it all away from you <3

| • he has tea prepared ,, the softest blankets on his bed ,, he's even nude and ready to go for you too

| • barbatos wants you to be as comfortable for this as possible

| • he'll lick away any blood from you first ,, preparing you for whatever else you wish to do with him for the day

| • you can manhandle him however you wish ,, not minding a little bit of bruising here and there

| • maybe tugging on the noose around his neck to pull him closer to you ,, forcing his head to where you want him to focus on

| • or just pulling it to move him ontop of you ,, making him do the work for this time

| • using the noose as a warning ,, or to control the pace to your liking ,, or to just bring him in for a kiss

| • if the noose isnt to your liking you could always tighten it ,, or use your own hands around his neck ,, and even then his horns are at the perfect grabbing height

| • you could easily use them to bring his head down if the noose isnt working for you ,, or switch places with you on top and him on bottom

| • using his horns for leverage ,, to keep yourself atop of him ,, maybe one hand on his horn and the other around his neck or holding the noose

| • either way ,, barbatos is used to being in a rough position and is used to the pain (from leviathan’s choking and his rose ivy) so if anything all this just excites him more

| • though the aftercare will be insane <3 after all he wants the best for you ! he’ll wash you up ,, make you more tea and cuddle you to sleep

[peterparkerpancake]

"Well, everyone's different."

That's what I used to think. I got diagnosed when I was 7. ADHD type H. Never had an issue with attention span, but by GOD if I never had hyperfixations.

There was that time I got super into learning the bo staff because I really liked Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and Donatello is OBJECTIVELY the best, thank you very much.

There was that time that I learned how to perform basic field medicine like sutures because I got into all this... zombie, survivalist stuff.

Eventually, I grew up. I went to college. UCLA, BAYBEE! And when I got there, I met my roommate; Josh Grimstone.

We hit it off immediately. He seemed to be weirdly into the Sci-fi and thrillers, though it seemed like we could never watch anything without him scoffing at it

"Oh, please! If they lost THAT much blood, they'd be dead!"

"Really?! Your telling me he could jump from five stories and just... walk away?"

*standing up to yell at the screen*

"JUST BECAUSE YOU ROLL INTO IT DOESN'T MEAN THE INERTIA IS DISPERSED!"

It was fun. We always had a good laugh about it. It made sense, he was a Creative Writing major. But still, I liked teasing him about it.

He would have... dark and... macabre interests, but like... the guy would just read HAMLET. Like, for fun. I haven't read Hamlet since 10th grade. And it was required.

It wasn't until I invited him to my DnD campaign that I got suspicious. For whatever reason, a Creative writing major was a surprisingly bad storyteller. I mean, no offense or anything, but he couldn't move the plot along to save his life.

I don't know, maybe he was nervous?

Then we took a class together. I needed a Creative writing course for my gen eds. So why not take it with him?

We planned to make our schedules align, but... he almost never came to class.

"Maybe he's just blowing it off? It's a lower-division course. He'll be fine without it"

Then he missed the midterm.

I began to get suspicious and one day, followed him.

I don't... remember much after that. Hazy flashes. Something about... a warehouse? I think. I remember his voice. Quiet, l- like he didn't want anyone to hear him. Don't know what he was saying.

...You ever get that feeling you're being watched?

What? What's the- Why does my... head hurt?

That was the last thing I remember.

My eyelids felt heavy as I slowly blinked them open.

"Josh? Is that- What're you doing?"

"Quiet. What the hell do you think you're doing here?"

"I- ...what? Where am-"

"You're gonna get yourself killed, y'know that?"

He shook his head in disdain, a hint of pain in his eyes as he reached into his rear pocket. I heard something I'd only ever heard in a movie; that familiar click as the hammer locked into place.

Then I heard him scoff before feeling a piece of cold, dense metal pushed into my temple

I felt my heart drop as terror set in

"J- Josh, what're you? I- no! No! Stop this!"

In my desperate panic and attempt to stand, I noticed something for the first time.

I was tied to a chair.

My arms and legs were bound, the only thing I could freely move was my neck.

Pounding.

That was all I heard.

The pounding of my own heart as it began to drown out everything else.

I could see Josh's mouth moving, but it just came out as muffled nonsense.

Despite the adrenaline-induced tunnel vision of terror setting in, I could see his remorseful look as the cold metal pushed deeper into the gaps of my skull.

Today you just found out your roommate with strange hobbies, like knowing how to pick a lock, knows how every puzzle and cipher by heart, or how to commit tax fraud, and so many other things, wasn't a guy with ADHD, he was an ex-assassin and now you have a gun pointed at your face

[snoopychris]

nerd!matt and cheerleader!reader headcanons

warnings: very cheesy romance stuff, light smut near the end, mentions of masturbation

nerd!matt who... walks around with his headphones in all the time (he’s listening to clairo and beabadoobee.)

nerd!matt who... has always lived in his brothers shadows, he had a presence hardly ever mentioned by anyone at the school.

nerd!matt who... spends his free time building legos and playing nintendo games

nerd!matt who... loves taking late night drives and sitting on the beach, even when it’s snowing.

nerd!matt who... has had the same pokémon backpack since middle school 

nerd!matt who... eats lunch in the science room so he doesn’t sit alone in the cafeteria 

nerd!matt who... has a diary where he writes he writes about his days 

nerd!matt who... has been pining for cheerleader!reader ever since chris threw a party at their house while their parents were out of town

nerd!matt who... held cheerleader!readers hair up while she was throwing up at said party 

nerd!matt who... kind of begs Nick to take more pictures of cheerleader!reader for the yearbook

nerd!matt who... claims to go football games to cheer on chris but is really cheering on the cheerleaders

nerd!matt who... comes into close contact with cheerleader!reader often but always seems to struggle saying anything more than “how are you”

nerd!matt who... has a playlist of songs that make him think of cheerleader!reader

nerd!matt who... gets extremely flustered when he has to sit next to cheerleader!reader in any situation

nerd!matt who... he could trade lives with chris for just one day so he could have a chance with his cheerleader

cheerleader!reader who... first noticed nerd!matt when her parking spot was assigned next to his but first really noticed him at her birthday party 

cheerleader!reader who... doesn’t have romantic interest in any of the football players, despite everybody thinking otherwise 

cheerleader!reader who... is the first to defend nerd!matt whenever anybody talks about him

cheerleader!reader who... wore a pokémon shirt to “dress like your young self day” in hopes that matt would talk to her

cheerleader!reader who... lowers her voice when talking to matt so he doesn’t run away

cheerleader!reader who... asks matt if he has a spotify one day and gets really sad when she sees a playlist who she thinks is about another girl

cheerleader!reader who... tries to convince chris to throw more parties at his house (matt won’t be seen at a party otherwise)

cheerleader!reader who... always invites matt to play party games with them even though he always denies it

cheerleader!reader who... begs nick to let her come over sometimes so she can see matt

cheerleader!reader who... makes sure she always makes matt feel welcome

cheerleader!reader who... tells the science teacher all about nerd!matt in her free time during his class because no other teacher will listen 

cheerleader!reader who... keeps an eye on the music nerd!matt is listening to and wears band tees the next day

cheerleader!reader who... always tries to talk to nerd!matt about his interests and truly is interested

cheerleader!reader who... wishes that she could just for one day not be a cheerleader so she could talk to matt normally without him freaking out over it

cheerleader!reader and nerd!matt who... mutually pine over each other without even knowing it

nerd!matt who... is most definitely still a virgin but “doesnt really care about that stuff”

cheerleader!reader who... would probably give anything to sit on matt’s lap 

nerd!matt who... would be lying if he said he had never thought of ruining the short cheerleading uniform with his own cum

cheerleader!reader who... sometimes listens in on matt’s whimpers through his door when she’s spending time with nick and chris

nerd!matt who... hates to admit that he sometimes looks at pictures of cheerleader!reader on instagram while jerking off

๋࣭⭑ dividers by @bernardsbendystraws !

๋࣭⭑ taglist(reply or message to be added!) : @sophand4n4 @mattssslutbby @frankoceanfanpage

๋࣭⭑a/n: thank u so much for the support omg?? i was actually not expecting that at all but had this already ready so here i am! i love u all so much! kiss kiss - gen.

[lunarcrown]

Hi! I wanted to say I love this fic so much. I've read it several times over and I love seeing all your art for it as well. Thank you and aquaquadrant for bringing us this beautiful work! Tango is one of my fav Lifers and I adore Bravo and Atlas too. The characterizations are so fun. The angst is right up my alley and the soft moments balance it out beautifully. I loved reading the Hels bits and trying to figure out who each character was connected to on the overworld and the way you decided their differing traits was so interesting. The designs are also very cool. I adore Grian's jacket and glasses, Lizzie and Joel are gorgeous, Pearl is terrifyingly beautiful with all the bug traits, and Ren being a massive wolf is so fun! Tango being a blaze hybrid imprinted on my brain so hard I forgot it wasn't actually canon to his YT character's lore. It's true in my heart now. And Dbubs and Patho? Delicious. Good soup. I can't wait to see all the incredible stuff you guys put out in the future! I'm sure it'll all be great and I'll love every bit of it All that being said, I've had a bit of a day (/silly), so here's me projecting my period cramps onto Bravo <3 Have a lovely day/night!

Thank you SO MUCH FOR ALL THE KIND WORDS!!! I loooove that you’ve read it over and over, Aqua’s writing is SO CHOICE so I’m always happy when people read it more than once~~

And yesss she’s also the mastermind for all the heavy thinking about traits and details, her world building is BONKERS!! It honestly does the same thing to me where I sometimes can’t remember what was our au and what’s like actually happened in the VODs HAHA

And thanks for all the love of the designs!! It takes me a while to design anyone because I have to have the right spark and inspiration or it’ll feel too much like a chore?? So even though it took me a while (and there’s still more designs to do!!), it means a lot that you enjoy them so much!!

THE PERIOD CRAMP BEAM IS SO GOOD I looooove ittt YES GIVE BRAVO SOME AGONY!!!!!

Here’s a doodle back of him doing his favorite thing: placing blame on Tango!!!

[blank-house]

I saw the ask about ice skating and I've been kicking my feet thinking about that scenario ever since. I'd pledge the campus tour guide tier on KS if i had the budget for it to ensure it gets into the game TvT. I love figure skating and thinking about teaching Jamie how to ice skate would be so incredibly funny and also sweet - Or vice versa, having an mc who's not good at it and having Elio or Percy teach them. I am feeling So Normal rn

On the topic of sports (and assuming it's not a spoiler), is there a specific sport each character is partial to? We know Elio likes moving around in general, but it'd be interesting to know if he's especially invested in archery or skateboarding or something random and mildly unexpected like that - and the same goes for the rest

The ice skating brain rot is so real fr AHSHSHDH

But hmm when it comes to sports—

Elio likes a lot of sports but he’s really big on basketball because he played in middle school and high school. He also likes football (partly because I just got into it and I can’t help but give my characters my interests haha)

Percy likes soccer because he used to play it too! Though I like to think that he also tunes into the Winter Olympics for snowboarding specifically.

As for the others… I don’t think they really have sports they like. Cameron might just watch stuff because SPORTS AHH ENERGY AHH TEAMWORK OR TALENT AHHH yknow? But I’d have to think about it more— because unlike those two the rest of the main cast didn’t really partake in sports growing up

[grinchdelia]

this post is kinda funny to me cause while I'm certainly no survival expert or anything. I have built and cooked on fires. None of them followed a neat layout like this. Not sure if the game is just different for the expert fire builders but none of this is particularly helpful for people who are just out camping once in a while or unexpectedly thrown into a survival situation.

It's much easier to get a fire started with a loose little teepee of tiny twigs, don't start setting up with anything bigger than the width of a finger. Most of that pile should be the tiniest twigs you can find. It's going to look like a messy pile, not neat like above. Hopefully you have a bit of paper or torn up cardboard as tinder in the center but you can also scrounge up dry lichen or something, most dry loose fluffy plant material will do. Wood shavings work but take a lot of time to prepare.

The really critical thing to remember about fires is the airflow which is mentioned but I don't think a lot of readers will appreciate how difficult the "star" or "platform" would be to get going and keep lit. If you are inexperienced enough to take internet fire advice, you want to make it as easy as possible on yourself. There's a sweet spot where your pile is more air than wood, but not so loose that the flame has no fuel to spread.

So you have your little twig pile, ideally with some paper in the middle. Light from as close to the bottom as you can, it's always a little fiddly but if you have small enough twigs and they're not too dense it should hopefully "catch" pretty quickly. Hold off until it's really blazing then add more wood, starting with finger width, and working your way up.

The shape and structure of the fire is something you build up, not the starting configuration of logs. Some of the above like the log cabin especially, you'd be able to light pre-built. But that makes it harder than it needs to be. You end up making a lot of lean-to or log cabin shapes anyway when you're adding wood, but if you need to conserve fuel or keep the fire smaller you can add larger pieces or roll them off so they're touching the ground and getting less air. Keep in mind that raging flames = less smoke and vice versa. Once a log is charcoal all through it won't smoke any more though.

Cooking isn't that difficult, it just takes a while to build up a nice supply of embers. You can shape your cooking bed after your fire has been going for an hour or more. I haven't had issues with uneven cooking but thats usually cause I'm keeping an eye on it and turning regularly if it's too close to the main fire.

if you're just out camping and have a bunch of tin foil, you don't need to wait so long. Just do a couple layers of wrap with some moisture inside depending on what you're cooking, and you can throw the foil lumps right in the flames. I wouldn't recommend messing around with stones but if you don't have a grill or foil and you're cooking something that can't be roasted on a stick, I guess hot stones are your other option.

Oh and the Swedish torch on here is interesting but it's not easy to find logs like that. Plus outside of life and death situations it's better to leave stuff like that alone, that's animal habitat! Best to burn wood thats old and dry but not too far rotted. The concept reminds me of a "rocket stove" kit I had that is basically just a meal cylinder for efficiently burning twigs for cooking. It was a very useful item and worth carrying around when backpacking.

[bugslaststraw]

Ugh I explained this to Nat before but that was a vm and now I have to try to put it into text lol. Bear with me. Spoilers for Sonic 3 below...

So like Okay, original game Robotnik has that "machines are better than people and I love them and I hate people" thing going on. And movie universe Jimbotnik does the same thing right. Except his reasons for preferring machines are a little weird? To say the least.

When most people aspire to the perfection of the blessed machine they tend to focus on how machines are perfect because they aren't saddled with those pathetic human emotions, and how they're stronger and smarter and more perfect and all that. And like. There are elements of that with movie Robotnik don't get me wrong, he bullies Sonic for loving his friends, but we all know that's bullshit because his actual personality complex trauma thing stems entirely from being hurt that people don't like him? and nobody's ever genuinely cared about him enough to not betray/leave him, as we learned in movie 3. Daddy issues, et cetera.

The actual first reason he gives for why he prefers his robots, in movie 1, is that they do what they're told and they never need time off to go do stuff other than what they're told. What's worse is that he outright ignores the part about machines that don't line up with what he is. Machines are cold unfeeling things right? And Robotnik is a madman, just complete ditz entirely controlled by his emotions. He's all over the place. So obviously that isn't why he actually likes them. Nor does it seem to be because they're smarter or stronger.

Now all this wouldn't quite have clicked in my head and started forming a pattern, if I hadn't spent half a day getting ahold of reading the movie novelizations lol, they're not good exactly but they aren't bad either (not exactly) and they have this really interesting. Detail. Take. Choice, even, that stood out to me. In the novels we get exactly zero scenes written from Agent Stone's perspective. So he's entirely filtered through Robotnik as we see him. And, like. Robotnik ascribes? Robotic traits to him? That he straight up doesn't have?

This being the most infamous example... But it happens again at least once, which is a lot for the novels cus they're short as hell, where (from Botnik's pov) Stone takes on this more mechanical tone when talking to him or being around him, that he seems to like or prefer/speak positively of. Okay. Weird, homoerotic, but not entirely out of character.

It did make me think though. If Robotnik is kind of loose about why he actually likes machines. But is still adamant that they're good and humans are bad... And what he actually likes about them seems to be that they're... Loyal? I think. And they do what they're told. And they don't need time off to see their families and get laid and leave him alone I'm so sorry then. Well.

Those are traits a human being could very well have. For example, his actual human assistant, who's standing right fucking there as he says it. Right? Stone is still all that, he's loyal and he actually likes + is nice to him and he does what he's told and that's why he actually likes him, as we find out in movie 3, right? So.

What I'm saying is when. In the third movie when he says you were the only person who ever blah blah right. And, like, of course he was. Who would want to be loyal to? This dickhead who mostly wants to achieve world domination? Why would you want to do what a villain says? But Robotnik doesn't care about that, he likes being a villain and above that he's just hurt, right, by it all, and doesn't gaf if his own actions affect others so.

So he ascribes robotic traits to Stone not because they're actually there (Stone is professional when talking to others, but far from emotionless, and it is in fact his emotional connection to the dear doctor that makes him as loyal as he is) but. Rather because in his mind, Stone is on the same level as a robot, because he has the same traits that Robotnik actually. Likes about his robots. That mainly being loyalty, I think.

And, well. In the third movie granpappy Geralt hacks those robots of his and makes them stop obeying him, doesn't he. Not even they were entirely loyal by the end, much like Geralt himself, right?

You can't hack a human being, though.

Anyway. Keep your heads up, okay? I'm like. 99% sure Robotnik is fine (fight me in the comments I guess) and I tend to be good at predicting this stuff so he'll be back one way or another. Jim Carrey officially un-retired, the space station time travel thing is still an active theory, and they can't just fucking kill Eggman guys, come on. Cheers!🥂

[almacambiondaughterofsaleos]

The Stans Are Now Bashing Stella Because Of These Two Pictures

Again those with a hate boner for her say how much she hates being around her family and this picture shows how much she really enjoys her husband's discomfort. It's interesting how her discomfort is bashed while his discomfort is woobified by them. Again narrative has only made Stolas the victim but not Stella who also was forced into this situation so only she doesn't get any sympathetic points. In my opinion, this picture shows that even though he said he tried to make things comfortable for them both that second picture showed that statement was probably bs because he never seemed to enjoy being with her at all.

I think all that comfort was just bare minimum stuff he did and was always try to distant himself from her while focusing his energy on Octavia to get away from her. This lack of warmth from Stolas would make her despise him and justify why it's no picnic being married to her because he barely makes an effort to truly connect with her and he bemoans he's tried to make things work despite saying otherwise. And in my opinion, even though it would be sad she's distant to her daughter it could have her be complex since she was forced to have her and could as a result have mixed feelings. Like I don't want her to be a perfect victim, but I want her to be someone who became this way because of a jacked up system that used her for breeding purposes and settled her in an unhappy situation. If they really want her to be a Beatrice figure, have her instead of being openly abusive just be someone who is cold instead of just openly villainous. This could lead to eventually Stolas seeking warmth somewhere else and leading to her getting mad at him for his affair. However, don't justify it and just have her be right because even if a spouse is cold it's not a good look to cheat even if they didn't care about the marriage. I just wish this fandom give more sympathy for Stella and not just baby Stolas.

[blueishspace]

Hero, Villain God 38

(Prev) (Next) (First)

Chapter 9

*Grian's pov*

And here it is, the 26th, the day where it was decided that all the exciting stuff was going to happen... honestly that's one way to make it more interesting.

You are going to be at all three events at once, no doubt about it, you just need to...split your control over 3 bodies... You haven't actually done something like this before...mostly because you never needed to before but you know how to do it.

The first attempt is a dud, not because the body created is wrong but because you forgot to not make all of the divine energy pass trough the semi-mortal form you are wearing and accidentally melted your arm off in the process.

You try again, this time you make sure not to conduct trillions of joules of pure energy trough a body that is at least partly made of organic and fragile flesh. You did this already with Grumbo why do you keep forgetting about it?

You create the second body out of a mushroom, you don't have a reason to make Mother Spore out of actual fungi but you also don't have a reason not to and really, that's reason enough for you. The second body is done way faster too.

As for the third, the one supposed to be Poultryman, you kinda just make it normally... You do make his a bit different though, just in case.

Now, time to go do-watch? a movie marathon! Ironically enough that's the thing you are the most worried about going wrong because those bodies you created definitely cannot die outside of divine intervention but you definitely can and will make a fool out of yourself because of your not being a mortal and knowing mortal stuff ...

As Poultryman you make your way towards the address Flame has given you, as Mother Spore you make your wag towards Las Nevadas and as Grian you make your way to Scar's place to pick him up.

Scar opens the door before you can even knock, he looks so excited about the movie marathon you almost feel guilty about being worried... that's a feeling you aren't used to feel, especially for something so inconsequential... especially over a mortal.

He even takes the lead for a while, guiding you to who knows where before realizing he doesn't know where Pearl leaves and you might.

Funny thing about that of course being that you don't know either and didn't think about asking Pearl before...

You do end up have to text Pearl, at this rate you aren't going to lose that "dumbass" nickname.

[tiredandoptimistic]

Every change in the new flower card book

Because I think about this series a normal amount, I went through my old copy of "An Illustrated History of Notable Shadowhunters and Denizens of Downworld" from 2016 and my new kickstarter edition that arrived yesterday, and took notes on every change. Some characters were added, some were given new art or facts, some had their information updated, and some are the same as they ever were. I split all these changes into categories, so you can look up what interests you. Full spoilery details below the cut.

First off, the general formatting was changed slightly. Instead of characters being split into categories based on series (TID, TLH, TMI, TFSA, TDA) and alphabatized by first name within those categories, they're all in one cohesive list that's alphabatized by surname.

So, to start with, there were a couple overall changes. In my old edition, characters had their common names listed above their flower card (ex: Alec Lightwood), and their full names on the page to the left that held their facts and stuff (ex: Alexander Gideon Lightwood). Some characters also have their maiden name on their flower card but their married name on the fact page, or vice versa (Celine Montclaire and Celine Herondale, or Helen Blackthorn and Helen Penhallow-Blackthorn). In the new edition, everyone is referred to by only one name, the common name that was already on the flower card. The section in the personal information for married/maiden name was also removed for all characters except Sophie Collins, Jocelyn Fray, Tessa Gray, Cecily Herondale, Imogen Herondale, Maryse Lightwood, and Jessamine Lovelace Gray. Characters with minor alterations to how their name is written: Helen Penhallow-Blackthorn became Helen Blackthorn Julian Atticus Blackthorn became Julian Blackthorn Mark Antony Blackthorn became Mark Blackthorn Emma Cordelia Carstairs became Emma Carstairs Charles Buford Fairchild became Charles Fairchild Charlotte Branwell became Charlotte Fairchild Clary Adele Fray became Clary Fray Amatis Herondale became Amatis Graymark Linette Owens became Linette Herondale Stephen William Herondale became Stephen Herondale William Owen Herondale became Will Herondale Alexander Gideon Lightwood became Alec Lightwood Isabelle Sophia Lightwood became Isabelle Lightwood Maxwell Joseph Lightwood became Max Lightwood Celine Herondale became Celine Montclaire Jonathan Christopher Morgenstern became Jonathan Morgenstern Jonathan Fairchild Morgenstern became "True" Jonathan Morgenstern Axel Mortmain (Hollingworth Shade) became Axel Mortmain Aline Blackthorn-Penhallow became Aline Penhallow Jaime Rocio Rosales became Jaime Rosales Woolsey Marmaduke Scott became Woolsey Scott Bartholomew Velasquez became Bat Velasquez All of these names are unchanged on the actual flower cards, it's just that the names on the fact page have been changed to match the names already on the flower cards.

Characters with alterations to their personal information: Magnus Bane's birth year was changed from "unknown" to "early 1600s" Arthur Blackthorn's birth year was changed from 1973 to 1964, though 1973 still makes more sense with the timeline and I believe that 1964 is a mistake. Drusilla Blackthorn's favorite weapon changes from unknown to "her sister Livvy's saber," and Rosewain is added to her family Livia Blackthorn has Rosewain added to her family Octavian Blackthorn has Rosewain added to his family Tatiana Blackthorn's favorite weapon is changed from n/a to demonic magic Tiberius Blackthorn's birth year is changed from 1997 to 1993 (which has to be a typo, Livvy is still born in 1997), his favorite weapon is changed from quarterstaff to sling weapon, and Rosewain is added to his family Alastair Carstairs's family name is changed from Turan to Jahanshah, and his favorite weapon is changed from Cortana to spears Cordelia Carstairs's family name is changed from Turan to Jahanshah Jem Carstairs's birth year is changed from 1861 to 1860 Sona Carstairs's birth year is changed from 1850 to 1861 (the new year matches better with the TLH timeline), her maiden name is changed from Turan to Jahanshah, and her previous married name of Verlac is removed Lily Chen's birth year is changed from unknown to 1885 Sophie Collins's favorite weapon is changed from hand mirror to hairbrush Charlotte Fairchild's favorite weapon is changed from sword to whip Matthew Fairchild's favorite weapon is changed from rapier to chalikers Nathanial Gray has Moore added to his family Gwyn ap Nudd's favorite weapon is changed from unknown to sword carved from the bone of a redcap Cecily Herondale has Owens added to her family James Herondale's family name is changed from Gray to Gray/Starkweather Lucie Herondale's family name is changed from Gray to Gray/Starkweather, and axe is added to her favorite weapons Will Herondale's birth year is changed from 1861 to 1860, and Owens is added to his family Anna Lightwood has whip added to her favorite weapons Jaime Rosales's favorite weapon is changed from poison to crossbow

Characters with new details added to their fun facts: Lady Midnight is changed to Lady Midnight AKA Annabel Blackthorn, and her fun fact has information about Annabel added onto the legend of Lady Midnight Drusilla Blackthorn gets a completely new fact about rigging up a projector to show Night of the Living Dead at the new Shadowhunter Academy Helen Blackthorn has the last sentence of her fact changed to say that she's no longer banished to Wrangel Island Livia Blackthorn has a completely new fact about Livia's Watch Tiberius Blackthorn gets a new fact about a mystery he solved at the Schoolmance Jem Carstairs has a new sentence added to the end of his fact acknowledging his new family with Tessa, Mina, and Kit Sona Carstairs gets a new fact explaining the retcon about her poisoning Theodor Verlac by saying that as a youth she was attacked by a demon that caused untrue rumors about her to spread and be believed Church has the last sentence of his fact changed to say that he's retired with Jem rather than at the LA institute Ragnor Fell has a new sentence added to his fact saying that he and Catarina have been going on adventures together since he came out of hiding Gwyn ap Nudd has a new sentence added to his fact saying that he's now able to confide his troubles in Diana Jace Herondale has a new half sentence added to his fact Kieran has two new sentences added to his fact about his reign as Unseelie King Alec Lightwood has new sentences added to his fact about his role in the Clave-in-exile Alien Penhallow has a new sentence added to his fact about how she's no longer banished to Wrangel Island Jia Penhallow has the last sentence of her fact changed to no longer reference being separated from her daughter Maia Roberts has a sentence added to her fact about her role in the Shadowhunter-Downworlder Alliance Diego Rosales has a new sentence added to his fact about his new role as the Inquisitor

Characters with new art in the new book: Drusilla Blackthorn Alastair Carstairs Cordelia Carstairs Jaime Rosales

Characters added in the new book: Adaon Ash Paige Ashdown Inquisitor Bridgestock Mina Carstairs Zara Dearborn Oliver Hayward Kit Herondale Janus Jarog the Enraged Divya Joshi Shinyun Jung Ke Yi Tian Claude Kellington Eugenia Lightwood Rayan Maduabuchi Nene Oban Thais Pedroso The Riders of Mannan Hypatia Vex Manuel Villalobos

Characters unchanged from the old book: Cameron Ashdown The Band (Eric, Kirk, and Matt) Camille Belcourt Grace Blackthorn Jesse Blackthorn Henry Branwell Maureen Brown The Dark Sisters Malcolm Fade Jocelyn Fray Luke Garroway Tessa Gray Edmund Herondale Imogen Herondale Tobias Herondale Jordan Kyle Simon Lewis Benedict Lightwood Gabriel Lightwood Gideon Lightwood Maryse Lightwood Robert Lightwood Thomas Lightwood Max Michael Lightwood-Bane Rafael Santiago Lightwood-Bane Catarina Loss George Lovelace Jessamine Lovelace Gray Meliorn Beatriz Velez Mendoza Chairman Meow Valentine Morgenstern Alexei de Quincey Raziel Johnny Rook Cristina Mendoza Rosales Raphael Santiago Seelie Queen Jonathan Shadowhunter Hodge Starkweather Michael Wayland Diana Wrayburn Brother Zachariah

Characters left out from the old book: Asmodeus (it's literally just him I don't know why he wasn't included in the new one)

Anyways, I know this is a lot of dense information that might not be interesting to everyone, but I had fun putting it all together (because there is no joy like cross-referencing). Obviously there might be some mistakes because I am a failible human, but this should be more or less everything. If anybody wants exact wording on the changed/added facts then just ask and I can tell you.

[morphids]

first off- happy holidays!! idk if this is something you’d be interested in but how about a pining assistant troupe with hange? i think it would be fun for reader to have a reiner-ymir relationship with moblit, constantly fighting for hange’s attention and stuff <3

give me all your attention, hange zoë

hi lovely, happy holidays!! this was so much fun to write thank you for requesting!! <3 hope you enjoyyy

summary: pining assistant!r x nb!hange

warnings: kinda sfw—suggestive themes, heavy makeout and a lil dirty talk, tension, lowk dominant hange, nothing explicit. unreliable narration sometimes (r is projecting on moblit a lot) moblit slander—sorry guys i love him really, r def has a hidden praise kink lmao, gendered nicknames towards reader, hange teases a lot, downbad behaviour.

wc: 3.2k

—

Life as Hange's assistant was stressful, to say the least. You think one of these days you'll have a cardiac arrest, the way they're so unbothered about jumping right into danger. Sure, there were worse jobs to be hired into, but it definitely wasn't easy. Hange made sure of that.

But more than that, you couldn't stand Moblit. He was a nice guy, and all, but you two clash a lot. Especially when Hange was in the picture. You'd think Hange had needed him all their life, the way he jumps on the chance to do anything for them. Always doting, chasing them around like a good little labrador. It was sickening, to be honest.

You glanced up from your clipboard, eyeing the way that Moblit brought Hange some dinner, as they hadn't eaten theirs yet. Would've been a nice, caring gesture— except that you had already made extra dinner earlier and boxed some away especially for Hange to eat. Out of all the meals you cooked, that one had been Hange's ultimate favourite. He would've known if he'd bothered to ask, instead of taking it upon himself. You hated how eager to impress Hange he was. Hated Hange's reaction even more, like he was God's gift to their stomach. Ugh.

Both of you were Hange's assistants, having been hired around the same time. So a few years had passed of this little rivalry with each other. You wondered what his motivations were. Why he was as desperate to please as he was.

I mean, your relationship with Hange was so different to theirs. Could he not see that? It's not like all the responsibilities fell on him. If it was up to you, he'd be stuck doing all the paperwork whilst you had the more... hands on jobs that needed doing.

"Dear? Could you come here for a sec?" Hange's voice broke you from your entranced thoughts. You made your way over to the two, tucking your clipboard underneath your arm. Hange seemed to always call you names like that, during the first few weeks of working you worried that they actually just forgot your real name and wanted to cover it up with an easy-to-remember pet name. Then months later, you realised they just seemed to have a proclivity for referring to you in that way.

It flustered you sometimes, made you wonder if that was the reason Moblit didn't seem to take you seriously and seemed to have it out for stealing jobs away from you. Always puffing his chest like he can do everything under the sun. It just seemed to be a quirk of Hange's, though, they never seemed to mean anything by it, always remaining professional. They must just really like nicknames?

"Yes, Hange?" You'd been conditioned to not use their title over the years, Hange seemed to hate that—weeks of correction every time 'Commander,' came out of your mouth.

"I need you to re-check these test results for me—something isn't right, I need fresh eyes."

"Oh, I can do that for you Hange," Moblit spoke, eyes eager as he awaited a new task, even his spine straightened out a little more.

"That won't be needed, Moblit, I'm perfectly capable." You narrowed your eyes at him, voice terse, there he goes again, always trying to take jobs away from you, what an asshole. Does he think women aren't able or something? 

Clearly, your glare hadn't been as internal as you intended, as Hange side-eyed the two of you before shoving their slacking glasses tighter up the nose bridge, then clapping their hands together.

"Anyway, I'd need it by tonight, so bring your findings down to my office when you're done, dear." They smiled down at you, warm and gentle.

"Sure, Hange." You nodded as they walked away, leaving you and Moblit stood awkwardly side by side. Moblit looked you up and down, with a vague face.

"Need something?" You bit out, increasingly getting more annoyed. It had been like this since you both started, but it was becoming worse. Your patience was wearing thinner and thinner as he was getting more absurd with his actions. You often wondered if Hange noticed the growing animosity between their two assistants, and actively chose to not get involved, or if they hadn't even noticed at all.

Moblit cleared his throat, looking down at his shoes now.

"Nope,"

"Great, I'll get started on the analyses."

Moblit nodded curtly, moving aside so you could make your way to the desk to do your work.

—

A few hours had passed, your neck was crooked and sore from having been craned towards paper for the afternoon. It took ages to realise what the problem in the test results had been, and then you finally spotted it.

Oh, you were so gonna kill him.

Etched in Moblit's handwriting, was the incorrect recording of two variables. Making sure your tired eyes weren't being deceitful, you flicked between the two sheets again, the one Hange had drafted for the hypothesis plan with the correct variables, and Moblit's, which was supposed to have it all recorded, properly.

He must've misread the numbers, transcribing the data wrong and fucking up the whole experiment.

Idiot, you thought, sighing. You leaned back into your chair, relieved to have found the error in the results, at least it could be fixed now. Sitting up from your seat, you compiled the work together into a pile and took yourself to relay it back to Hange.

Knocking on the door, Hange's voice rang from the other side of the wall, before cracking the door open. Once seeing it was you, moving to the side to let you in, eyes glimmering as you entered.

"Come in, dear, we were just chatting."

Moblit was in there, too. How great. Well, looks like you'd have to do this with him there.

"I found the error," You muttered, placing the sheets down on Hange's desk.

"Ooh! I knew I could count on you - what was it?" Hange excitedly beamed, sipping on some coffee that you just knew Moblit had brought. He's never brought you any, always just the two cups.

"Well, ask Moblit," you chuckled, maybe it was a good thing he was here, so you could see the look on his face, "He marked the variables wrong, it confused the outcome of the experiment."

Meanwhile, Moblit was mortified.

"Wha—", his mouth slightly hung open as he frantically grabbed the sheets to check for himself. Sighing as he saw that you were, in fact, correct. There it was, his mistake written right in front of his face, mocking him.

"I'm sure it happens all the time," You muttered, just not by you, or Hange.

"I'm sorry, Hange! It won't happen, again!" He bent his neck down with shame, Hange only laughed, shaking their head.

"Don't worry, Moby! It can happen to anyone— at least we know, now!"

As much as you hated to admit it, you couldn't have expected Hange to berate him, not for an honest mistake. Yet, a callous part of you wished they had. Chastised him for his error ruining the experiment, wasting hours on a test that was never going to be executed correctly. Scold him for always acting like he was above you, only to fuck up now. But you knew they were too nice for that, it's what you respected about Hange.

"We'll run it properly tomorrow, right, dear?" Hange beamed, brown eyes shining at you through their specs as you found your anger simmering.

"Of course, Hange," They nodded, pleased.

It wasn't long until Moblit excused himself, leaving Hange's office whilst the remnants of shame fuelled his steps. You were about to follow suit, facing towards the door until Hange spoke, stopping your steps.

"Dear? I wanna speak to you,"

Your stomach sank, fuck. What if you were going to get scolded? As far as you were aware, you hadn't done anything wrong. Sure, they didn't scold Moblit, but that had been an easy mistake. What if something you did was so reprehensible that they would? Maybe Hange had grown tired of the way you were towards Moblit— but just because you were vocal about your irritation, doesn't make Moblit anymore innocent. He's the one that started this, always trying to one-up your achievements and helpful nature.

Turning yourself towards them, you failed to meet eyes. Feeling your nerves increase as you feared the worst, plucking at the skin around your nail beds.

"Don't look so scared! I just wanted to say thank you,"

Looking up at them, you faltered, Hange stood right in-front of you.

"What for?"

"Finding the error! It was driving me insane, honestly, I can't believe I missed it," Hange joked, rubbing their forehead, "Must need a nap,"

"Oh...of course, y-you asked me to,"

"I did," Hange came closer, "That doesn't mean you'd find it, though— I must've looked at that report a hundred times and didn't catch it."

"So well done!" They beamed, "You always do what I ask of you, dear—so well, too."

Hange's arm raised to bring a hand down to your arm, squeezing it affectionately.

Your breath caught in your throat, Hange's praise and the contact seemed to have made your brain go a little silly. A lot, silly, in fact. You could just feel your cheeks warm, the implications of their words used in a different context short-circuited your head.

"T-Thank you, Hange, I'm glad I could help," An attempt at retaining strong, retaining dignity and professionalism. You hoped it worked.

"You always help, dear, just try not to give Moblit such a hard time about it, okay?"

Well, that ruined that. Any sense of pride you had just gotten immediately crushed. Hange must've caught the way your face hardened, the way you began nibbling the inner skin of your lip with your teeth, holding back resentful words at your lips puckered out.

"Look, you don't have to be best friends— I know he isn't innocent, either, okay? But I'd rather have my two favourite assistants get along!"

You stared at them, with an 'are you kidding' expression coated on your features. Heck, you had tried getting along with him. He was the one who made it into a competition of who could please Hange the hardest. Constantly prying their attention away from your impressive feats.

Yeah, okay, fine, time to cut the bullshit— you had realised that you had perhaps, a little, teeny crush on Hange a while back. Heart fluttering too much at their praise, their soft way of speaking to you, the way they were so affectionate or had no qualms about rubbing your arm if you'd done a good job, making sure you knew just how much you had been of help.

You craved it. You craved more of their attention like an addict and craved to impress them, to hear those sweet praises as they smiled at you with those warm eyes and enticing smile. Like you were so good, so smart, useful. Had been the best damned assistant that could preemptively predict what Hange would need.

Especially, in the scientific sense; working hard late at night to write the best damn reports they had ever read. Making sure to help think of clever alternatives for an experiment gone wrong. You were damn good at your job. That's why it pissed you off when Moblit decided to keep shitting on your parade, purposefully outshining you so that he looked like the knight in shining armour.

It wasn't like Hange picked favourites, in fact, they seemed a little oblivious to his ways. Thanking him just as they thanked you, with just perhaps a little less skin-ship. And a little less petnames, the things that made your heart race and stomach flip.

At least you knew your reasonings for this—what were his?

But, Moblit had definitely noticed, the way Hange's professionalism seems to falter a little bit when you were around. Definitely noticed when you both stayed in each other's presence more than was deemed necessary, the way Hange's eyes brightened as they spoke to you.

He thought he could never compete with that, not in the professional sense anyway. He'd made it his mission to try and outshine you however he could so that he wouldn't get left behind in tasks, all due to his Commander's potential sweetened feelings towards you. He'd never have any work if Hange just gave all the good work to you! Truthfully, though, by the time he noticed Hange's...affections for you hadn't impacted the way any of you worked, hadn't picked favourites - it was too late to stop the competitiveness. Too late for the animosity between the two assistants to halt.

"Hange, we would get along if he wasn't hellbent on ruining my career!"

Hange cackled, covering their mouth at the dramatics,

"How does he ruin your career, my dear?"

Ignoring the new addition to the nickname, you continued, having held it in for so long it all just came pouring out.

"He steals all the good jobs, acts better than me even though he messes up experiments, feeds you food even though I made you the dinner you like,"

Yup, you were definitely going off-track, but it was too late to stop the rambling, the box had been opened.

"He follows you around like a puppy, brings both of you coffee—always failing to bring me one! Doting on you like—" You cut yourself off, once you caught the look on Hange's face.

Amused and mirthful, front teeth pulling back a bit on the side of their lip as they listened to your rant. Arms crossed as they looked down at you, eager brown eyes bright and glimmering, wanting you to keep going.

"Why does that bother you so much, huh?"

"It's just annoying—he acts like your boyfriend." You huffed, crossing your arms across your chest, as you looked to the side.

"Well, he's not, we all know that, dear."

"Does he know that?"

Hange gaped at you, a playful expression glazing over their eyes, a gentle smirk tugging on their lips.

"Don't worry, pretty, you have all of my attention."

Meeting their eyes, your stomach flipped, a tension in your abdomen at their words. Pretty? That's a new one. You hated the way it sat in your stomach, making your mind sink to dark, dark places. The words in your throat were caught, trapped as you couldn't find in yourself to respond eloquently.

"Yeah right." You knew you were being unreasonably bratty, especially to your superior, but you couldn't care at this point. Deciding to just spew it out.

"Why don't I show you, then, hm?"

Hange unfolded their arms, grabbing your elbows and pulling you close to them.

"What—"

"ssh—told you, 'm gonna show you,"

Hange moved your arms to rest around their shoulders, their own coming down to wrap around your waist.

"What does that mea—"

"It means," Hange was losing patience, "Let me show you how no one else is stealing my attention away, pretty girl."

Hange was inches away, eyes down to your lips, as one hand reached up to thumb the skin on your jaw. Your plump lips split, shallow breaths escaping as your pretty, doe eyes stared up at them, dilating to reveal a darker pool of black in your pupils at Hange's closeness. Mind reeling at how close Hange's fingers were to your throat.

"They never did, dear, my attention was always yours."

Their lips almost touching yours, your brows tilting up slightly as their words. Almost hesitant, what if this was a trap? An insanely well-thought, long planned trap from Moblit, get you to admit your feelings and then humiliate you.

"You were always just so good, doing everything I asked you," The paused, the hand at your waist tightening its grip on your sides, "'N you do it all so well, pretty girl."

"Y'can't possibly think I was never impressed with you, hm?"

Hange's mouth reached your ear, lip grazing your earlobe as shivers went down your back, "All you needed to do was walk into the room n'Im impressed, dear."

"So I’m asking you, will you let me show you?"

You nodded, biting back a low whimper as Hange's lips moved away from your ear to the front of you, hand at your waist still strong, and the other tugging at your jaw, grabbing you a little bit harder, dragging your skin as they pulled your face closer, your eyes fluttering as they moved you.

"Yeah?" They smiled, a gentle, soft smile. Voice teasing, almost mocking, like they knew exactly what they were doing to you—it's not like you were hiding it well, "You'll let me, pretty girl? Need t'hear you say it,"

All doubts left your mind, that craving returning with full force as your mind turned to mush, incoherent thoughts, all you could make out was that craving. That desire that had been eating up at you over the years, Hange’s sweet praise leaving you feeling floaty.

"Y-yes, Hange,"

With the confirmation, Hange pressed their lips to yours, skin finally touching skin. The warmth of their mouth encompassing your own, as you allowed yourself to melt into their kiss. Surrounded with Hange, your chests pressing together as you hands grabbed at the back of their neck. Impossibly close, yet you still craved to be closer.

The sound of lips smashing against each other filled the room, the mutual desire would be heard clearly to anyone who walked in. Heavy breathing through noses as you sighed into each other.

Hange separated your lips to murmur against you, in between shorter pecks, “Been waiting to be able to kiss you,” They breathed out, voice rasped and low, “Waiting this whole time,”

“Hang—“ Your whimpers were cut short, swallowed as Hange connected your lips again, the kiss starved and ardent. Hange’s grip on your jaw was unbelievably tight, helpful considering it was getting harder to hold your head up, truly weakened.

Hange moved your bodies around, the back of your thighs meeting the line of wooden desk, as they leaned you up against it. The hand from your waist reaching down to lift your thigh up on the wooden slab, letting you lean your weight back on it as they placed themselves comfortably in between your open legs. Your thighs tightened around them to keep them close, shivering at the contact of them pressing up against you. Hange’s hands grabbed at your thighs, feeling as much skin as the clothes on your legs would allow, fingers kneading against the fabric, wishing they could feel you without the layers.

“Taste so sweet, dear,” Hange groaned against your lips, “Makin’ me wanna do bad things,” Hange’s lips were plump and flushed, solid evidence of the feverish kissing as you imagined your own weren’t any better off.

“Makin’ me wanna take you right here,” Hange’s words incited you, propelled you deeper into impropriety as you responded, words breathy and full of want.

“What’s stopping you then?”

—

…welp 🫣