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“There will be a new era between djinn and men. I’ve made some of the notes already, Rekhyt–my book will take pride of place in every library on the Earth. ” Ptolemy & Rekhyt. This is one of the anime parody art.  It is one of my so favorite lines.

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Someone: did you finish this book series? How was it? Did you enjoy it?

Me: well, it wasn't The Bartimaeus Sequence by Jonathan Stroud, but-

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bartimaeus and faquarl have the dynamic of two people in the same circle who are scarily similar that if they put their minds to it, they’d be THE most dynamic dream team, regardless whether they are friends or partners, but both parties just decided on rubbing each other the wrong way for whichever reason and refuse to let go of that and STILL they are overattentive as to what the other person is doing, what they look like on particular days, what they talk about in general, etc etc etc

so ofc bartimaeus can recognize faquarl based on the way he holds a meat cleaver or seeing him from a few meters even though his essence is buried within a human body and on all planes he’s nothing but an ordinary human, it’s not like he memorized everything about every single of their meetings over the last five millenia, and if he did then it was totally to study his enemy, what other reason could there be?

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if bartseq ever got a movie/tv series and gained a sizeable fandom, which character do you think would receive Tumblr Sexyman ™ status

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do not stand at my grave and cry i am not there i do not vibe

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Me: [lying in bed at 11pm and trying to sleep]

My brain: okay so I know that we love the idea of Khaba and Ammet being actually in a fucked up but somehow functional relationship where their love IS reciprocal but there's a fuck ton of denial and neither of them knows how to deal with this (esp Khaba because magicians aren't socialised towards forming any romantic relationships, healthy or otherwise)

And I know that you don't believe in the whole "unrequited love" bullshit because you're a shadowfucker too and can't imagine someone having a goth eldritch bf and not loving the fuck outta them and also Khaba is easier to project on when he IS capable of showing any kind of affection

BUT

Maybe it's less of an unrequited love and more of an early stage of a slow burn? Hear me out.

Like we've established before, these guys have no idea how to form a healthy relationship, how to deal with their emotions, and overall what the fuck is love???????? Because Ammet is a spirit and thus spent his whole life as a slave so he probably wouldn't know affection if it gently kissed him on the lips. And again, Khaba wasn't socialised to deal with that sort of thing if we assume that the life of an apprentice back then was similar to that of a modern day one like, say, Nathaniel. He had a pretty traumatic childhood and he was the lucky one! Mrs Underwood and Lutyens were kind to him, Mr Underwood wasn't as much of an asshole as he could've been, and he had another positive influence in the form of Bartimaeus. Furthermore, he still knew his birth name, which allowed him to separate himself (Nathaniel) from his indoctrination (John Mandrake) and go through a profound and dramatic redemption arc. I don't think Khaba had any of those things. (Who knows where those scars on his face came from? Ammet mentions that he strangled the high priest Weneg with his bare hands, which seems like a pretty personal way to kill someone. Maybe they had a quarrel similar to that between Nathaniel and Lovelace? Or Nathaniel and Underwood if Nat were a touch more vindictive?)

So yeah, both he and Ammet have the emotional intelligence of a turnip, and we haven't even touched on the fact that Khaba was taught to perceive spirits as slaves - tools to be used and discarded, and Ammet probably views other magicians with similar contempt. Marids are proud beings, after all, and as much as I think he enjoys being punished and subjugated, he won't let just anyone order him around - the dude has standards.

In short, it's kind of a miracle that these two trust each other as much as they do. However, they likely wouldn't have moved past the master/servant dynamic because:

they're shit at feelings and this situation is what they know, so it's safe. It's good. Let's stick with what we know. Ammet has probably never experienced proper affection before so he'll take what he can get and he'll take it eagerly and with reverent thanks on his lips. He doesn't need more. The fact that his feelings for Khaba are the way they are doesn't mean much - he seems content in his present role and just lets them be. Khaba, on his part, is a cruel and sadistic person, so positive feelings are probably strange and difficult for him. Lots of pining, confusion and violent denial, is what I'm saying.

Khaba wants to dominate. Ammet wants to submit. Since their current relationship already places them in these positions, why change anything?

[meta] a bit of problematic queer rep tbh

They don't want to become each other's weaknesses. Already we see in the book that the only time things go wrong for them is whenever they're apart.

Maybe Khaba really doesn't care and is only being nice to keep Ammet complacent, but if that is the case, why does he not bind him properly whenever he summons him? Is his confidence this high? He had first summoned Ammet as a "youth" which, for the sake of Bartnat / Bartolemy parallels, we'll take as 12 years old. According to my estimates, he's in his 40s during the events of the book, so by that time his powers must have grown enough to accommodate keeping a powerful marid obedient. There is simply too much of a risk in giving Ammet anywhere near the amount of freedom he has. Besides, Khaba does really trust him enough to let him touch him, accompany him under the guise of a shadow, and listens to his advice. He doesn't always follow it (refuses to let Ammet eat Bartimaeus which, despite the djinni playing the key role in their downfall, I personally agree with from the practical standpoint, but I expanded on this already in a different post) but he does listen. Also, the time frame suggests that he and Ammet have known each other for about 30 years. Listen, if you know someone for that long, they're going to bleed into your life, become an aspect you cannot live without. Kind of fits since ancient Egyptians believed that your shadow was a part of your soul. Ammet has seen him through all his ups and downs, probably saved his life more than once, helped him ascend from a lowly acolyte to a power behind the throne back in Egypt. There is NO WAY IN HELL that he doesn't care in at least some capacity, whether he likes it or not.

Hey, or maybe they ARE a thing. Maybe they're more lovey dovey with each other than we're led to believe. I mean, almost the entire book is written from the POV of either Asmira (only meets them in the 2nd half of the book and doesn't give their relationship a lot of thought) and Bartimaeus (a notorious unreliable narrator who hates them both and could've altered the story to make himself look good, as he sometimes does.) Neither of them know these two well and don't have a lot of context for their relationship. The one chapter we do get from Khaba's POV, it's the aftermath of the hippo incident and the guy is rightfully furious and snappy. Sure, he shouldn't have snapped at Ammet like he did, but I'm just noticing that his behaviour is not his usual one. Not an excuse, merely a possible explanation.

But back to the main point. It's a slow burn. They're slowly but surely working their way out of the master/servant dynamic. It does fit their needs which is why they haven't quite left it yet, but the sheer amount of trust they place in each other and the casual affection which doesn't seem much: a pet name here, a caress there, but when you look at their circumstances and personalities, as well as what they initially started out as, it's a LOT.

Maybe, if not for the way the book ended, they would have grown past that and eventually formed something resembling a relationship, maybe not. They seem content in where they are, though I wonder if Khaba had any regrets as he sat in his cell after the epilogue.

Their relationship is fascinating to dissect because of all that trust and affection juxtaposed with how absolutely despicable both of them are. Honestly, this semi-platonic (note that Ammet uses the word "friend" when talking to Bartimaeus about their bond. He doesn't seem to be upset or longing for more - as long as he's with Khaba, they can be whatever) semi master/servant-ish (there's probably a word for that but it's late and I don't remember it) wreck of a relationship is why I keep coming back to the book over and over, examining the text from a new angle each time and discovering a new side of their relationship or a new way to interpret it. I mean, they're the most developed villains of the series (I'm counting Faquarl as an anti-hero) with more "screen time" than any others. And yet, it's NOWHERE NEAR ENOUGH. JONATHAN I'M BEGGING YOU, GET BACK ON BARTIFORUMS AND THROW ME A BONE OR TWO. OVERTHINKING THEM IS LIKE COCAINE TO ME.

So maybe it is unrequited love. Maybe Khaba doesn't feel the same way as Ammet does, but does it mean that either is unhappy? Not necessarily. He's horrible, wicked and, again, emotionally stunted even more than Nathaniel, but I cannot believe that he doesn't care. They genuinely seem more than happy just the way they are - we have no textual evidence of it being otherwise. So Khaba does not love him back, but maybe he doesn't have to? Or simply hasn't grown to that stage just yet. Like, self indulgent shipping headcanons and AUs aside, their canon dynamic is, if questionably healthy, FASCINATING! You get what I'm saying?

Me, an hour of hardcore brainstorming and typing later: don't you have other things to dwell on? Like those exams we have in two days maybe????

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barty and his boi ptomely

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Coming soon on Dec 25th! Moodboard by @dragonshine

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Let's hope.....that my kitty post was the only post he's seen from here....

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Hmmm but really, I can't think of another book besides the bartimaeus series where the heroine being stubborn/angry is portrayed as such a good quality that's vital to the success of the group. A lot of books start out with willful young girls who have to grow out of it to find love eventually. Or the focus is on how that anger/stubbornness makes the heroine too independent to let others care for her & she has to learn to allow others into her life which? Is a valid character arc and corresponds to real struggles many young women have but.....

Kitty Jones just bursts onto the page with all this idealism and anger, and then that's shown to be the correct response to her situation. And the people who end up loving her love her because she's like that!

She never has to make herself less complicated or water herself down to be the protagonist of her own story. And the characters who do want her to tone it down are so clearly in the wrong that it's never a question the narrative asks--should kitty be so stubborn? Should she be angry about her situation? The answer is obviously yes. The whole story validates her experiences and her viewpoints, even as she's growing up & refining those viewpoints. Which!!! Is so so refreshing to read. Young girls need heroines who give them permission to feel anger and to stubbornly search for the truth.

In conclusion I'd die for kitty jones

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Product of today’s streaming. I was feeling quite seasonal.

(also I probably messed up proportions…let’s blame the angle for everything is a bit bizarre seen from top and through christmas lights distortion ahahah!)

(EDIT–I FIXED LUCY’S HEAD)

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When I am happy I draw fluff when I am upset I draw fluff and this pretty much sums up the situation.

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the bartimaeus series deserves just as much clout as good omens got i said what i said

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nathaniel: hmm...how does makepeace know all these terrorists and shady underworld criminals?

nathaniel: ah yes...it must be because he is in the theatre business.

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More Stroud-Themed Cocktails

Hi, I’m the one who posted the Lutyens and the Queezle earlier. I’ve had to take a break from cocktail creating because my health demanded not too much alcohol or obsessive hobbies, but I’ve got the Farrar and a Lockwood & Co.-themed alcoholic hot chocolate thing.

The Farrar

Heady and intoxicating, but with a hint of bitterness. Handle with care.

Equipment: cocktail shaker or mixing glass, bar spoon, cocktail glass

2 measures London Dry gin

1 measure white vermouth (sweet, dry, or a combination according to preference)

1 measure limoncello liqueur

½ measure grenadine

Lemon peel twist

Ice

Pour grenadine into the bottom of cocktail glass. In an ice-filled shaker or mixing glass, pour gin, vermouth and limoncello and stir well. Strain into glass, pouring slowly over bar spoon to create a separate layer. Garnish with lemon peel twist.

Lockwood & Co. Celebratory Cocoa

Now that the Problem is over and Lockwood & Co. are older, they can afford to kick back and relax with a drink. Evenings at 35 Portland Row are filled with the warming scent of hot chocolate, as its residents toast their friendship over steaming mugs of their respective brews. 

1 measure brandy

Hot chocolate (about a mugful)

Custom ingredients (see below)

Stir brandy and hot chocolate together in mug, and customise for chosen variation:

Lockwood: Stir a shot of strong espresso into hot chocolate mix. Top with whipped cream and dark chocolate shavings. Ignore your peers’ warnings about the effects of caffeine on the human brain.

Cubbins: Stir 1 measure of gingerbread syrup into hot chocolate mix. Top with whipped cream and crumbled gingerbread or cookies. Make full use of the “Hot stuff coming through!” joke.

Munro: Add a slice of fresh orange and a sprinkling of nutmeg to mug and allow to infuse. Remember - fruit makes it healthy.

Carlyle: Stir 1 measure of hazelnut syrup into hot chocolate mix. Top with whipped cream, crushed hazelnuts and a dusting of cinnamon. Glare at George if he points out your cream mustache.

The Farrar was pronounced excellent by my mother again, her new favourite of my invented cocktails, and described (in appearance) as “f*cking beautiful”. It was my first go at layering drinks as well, so that was fun. If I didn’t explain how that works properly, it’s pretty easy to find instructions/tutorials on the internet. I do remember that I didn’t end up straining the whole lot through, as I had worried about finding it too strong, so the measurements may not be exact.

Out of the Lockwood & Co. ones, I have only tried the Carlyle (just now, actually, minus the crushed hazelnuts), so the others may need testing. Hence the instructions there being less exact. Depending on taste, you may want another measure of brandy in there as well.

I haven’t tested the Solomon yet, but I’ve had a go at tasting a mix that, with the addition of some rum, will become known as the Queen of Sheba. I’ll see how it goes, just need to get the measurements right.

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Let's . . . let's just consider how the dreams of all three bart trilogy protagonists hid behind were all collapsing in smoke in the last couple hours

Nat's government was in shambles, Whitehall was burning. Everything he had fought for was going up in flames.

The commoner protest was being crushed and people were dying. again. Kitty's dreams of spirits and commoners uniting were crushed in a matter of minutes.

Demons were free to act on their own will for the first time in ever and Bart could have joined them, it would have been a great triumph for spirits. But it was being done by going against a spirit's very nature.

They still pulled a Ptolmey on us all anyway.

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Hmmm but really, I can't think of another book besides the bartimaeus series where the heroine being stubborn/angry is portrayed as such a good quality that's vital to the success of the group. A lot of books start out with willful young girls who have to grow out of it to find love eventually. Or the focus is on how that anger/stubbornness makes the heroine too independent to let others care for her & she has to learn to allow others into her life which? Is a valid character arc and corresponds to real struggles many young women have but.....

Kitty Jones just bursts onto the page with all this idealism and anger, and then that's shown to be the correct response to her situation. And the people who end up loving her love her because she's like that!

She never has to make herself less complicated or water herself down to be the protagonist of her own story. And the characters who do want her to tone it down are so clearly in the wrong that it's never a question the narrative asks--should kitty be so stubborn? Should she be angry about her situation? The answer is obviously yes. The whole story validates her experiences and her viewpoints, even as she's growing up & refining those viewpoints. Which!!! Is so so refreshing to read. Young girls need heroines who give them permission to feel anger and to stubbornly search for the truth.

In conclusion I'd die for kitty jones