#it was a lot and i couldnt remember it lol
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I forgot the set up so all yall get is the punchline
#my art#dreamworks trolls#trolls 3#trolls#trolls band together#brozone#trolls john dory#trolls floyd#the set up had something to do with floyds earring#and john was like 'why the earring everyone already knows'#and then it led to this#it was a lot and i couldnt remember it lol#i remembered this section tho cuz i wrote it down#idk why this is the only one i wrote down#im a little silly#but hey thats why im so funny
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Forgive me if I'm a bit nervous about Gorgug this season. It's just that the last Zac Oyama pc was Colin Provolone, who was arguably one of his greatest D20 performances, if not the greatest.
Zac always does great with every pc he plays, but Colin was something else. He came out swinging with actions and words that were teeming with unspoken emotional baggage. The way Colin's presence affected the other pcs; there was this level of depth that I don't think I've seen in any of his other characters. It was understated and quiet in that signature "just a guy" way that he tends to be, while still captivating everyone instantly with just how raw it was.
Not to say we haven't seen emotional depth in Gorgug. It's just that, compared to the other Bad Kids, Gorgug's journey and progression as a character has been very... impersonal? Like, yes, he found his birth parents, and he found friends who appreciate him, and he faced his insecurities about his intelligence, and he navigated relationship troubles, and his trial through the claustrophobic bug-tunnels was a horrifically-uncanny parallel to how he's spent his entire life trying to make himself as small as possible.
But how much of that has actually changed him from the Gorgug we started with? I would agree that he's definitely happier with his life, given all the loving and supportive people that have been added to it when it used to be just him and his parents. And he's certainly grown into himself and become more self-assured in his abilities, even if he's still, and always will be, our anxious little guy. And there's nothing wrong with that. I've always liked how Gorgug was a representation of all the little things. The subtle acts and kindnesses that don't seem like much to most, but to some are everything.
We don't need another Bad Kid living in fear that their mouth could be shit-in at any moment. We've already got one-too-many.
All that being said, I just feel like Gorgug's personal story beats are much easier to sweep under the rug than everyone else's. He has the same soft and understated quality that Colin held, but they lack that extra oomph that pushed Colin over the edge from being just another guy in a series of dudes, to a character that the vast majority of us could not get out of our heads. He took someone who was anxious and softspoken, who ultimately never wanted to be violent— someone who is remarkably similar to Gorgug in many ways— and maintained that demeanor and core in Colin's character while still hitting us in the feels with character development at max velocity at every turn.
I think Zac gets better and better at this with every season that goes by. With each new character, there is always something that leaves me stunned in awe. And it's been, what, three? Four years since we last saw Gorgug?
I'm just,,, I'm cautiously optimistic but also going into a bit of a worry about what violence this man may inflict upon us
#i got SO carried away LMAO#i dont think ive ever written any posts about gorgug specifically#i made a lot about colin. and some about pib. and some more about zacs performances in general.#but never anything gorgug-focused. i just wasnt on tumblr at those other times that hed been on my mind like this#you can tell i still couldnt resist talking about colin lol#he was just so fucking good. a fantastic character all around. i cant imagine a better example to get my point across than him#when i do posts like this its all very much just me taking a vague idea and working with whatever comes out in the moment#so when i tell you i very much did not plan to get lost in the counterargument and had to stop for a second to remember what my point was#my point still stands but so does everything else#you dont realize it. how similar gorgug and colin really are. or how metaphorical the bug tunnel was.#or how gorgug IS the epitome of little details. small acts. quiet rights and wrongs. the faint causes and the even subtler effects.#u dont truly realize it until youre writing it yourself in a free flow fugue state and it all comes to a halt cuz youve blown your own mind#anyway i love gorgug and i love zac pcs and i hope this post makes sense cuz finding the right words was fucking hard hah#dimension 20#d20#fantasy high#fantasy high junior year#fhjy#fantasy high sophomore year#fhsy#gorgug thistlespring#the ravening war#trw#colin provolone#zac oyama
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the best and most excruciating ending for season 7 would be going full circle with Eddie unconscious in the hospital due to a very close call, with all the trauma of nearly losing Eddie in the season 4 shooting resurfacing for Buck. maybe there would be a scene where Buck isn't allowed to go visit Eddie while in ICU since he isn't legally family, really nailing into him that's what he wants to be for Eddie, even more than already being tied to Christopher. because Eddie is his person.
once out of the worst of it, Buck is alone with Eddie in a hospital room, Eddie still not conscious but improving. Buck is sitting by the bed holding his hand, while no longer on the edge of death, Buck is still really upset.
finally Buck releases, "I can't keep doing this. not just seeing you like this but not being able to be there every step of the way, because-"
he chokes on his word and pauses.
"there is something I want to tell to you. something that I've probably wanted to say for a while now, and I promise to tell you again when you wake up. but I need to say it once while I know you're breathing because I'll hate myself forever if I don't."
Buck stands up and leans over Eddie. he goes in close, lips hovering over Eddie's forehead, "I'm in love with you Edmundo Diaz" in the softest, most vulnerable volume possible before pressing a soft kiss on his temple, "and even if you don't love me back in the same way, I needed to say it."
there's no response. Buck knew there wouldn't be but he wanted one so bad, somewhat hoping for a fairytale moment. he pulls away but keeps talking to like they were having a conversation, "I need to go to the cafeteria for a drink, I'll be right back."
as his hand is slipping away, suddenly there is a squeeze back.
Buck nearly jumps out of his skin, on top of wondering if Eddie heard him just now. he is still too exhausted to open his eyes, but then Eddie sighs, "I love you too Evan Buckley". Buck is pale, looking terrified, and then the lightest smile.
and then BAM the scene cuts and the credits begin.
imagine the chaos of confirmation at the very last moment. the fan reaction. the interviews. everything, but also that being all we get story wise for some period of time. would be the best and worst thing to ever happen to me. I doubt it will go that way but it would really signify "we are picking up where the story should have gone in season 4" which i think would be beautiful.
#buddie#this one is a lot shorter than my other rambles lol#drabble#fan fiction#ramblings#evan buckley#eddie diaz#911 abc#911#laws may have changed regarding that visitation in intensive car thing. i can't remember. like you cant be banned in general anymore#but i remember growing up an reason for gay marriage was that some people couldnt visit in ICU or something
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[Image description: A digital drawing based on the film Girl Shy. It depicts Harold Lloyd's character Harold Meadows sat at his typewriter, paused in thought as his fingers hover above it. His eyes are looking up and his mouth is slightly open, like he's dreaming awake. A thought bubble floats around him like smoke, with the faces of two women in the middle of it. The two have annotations next to them that denote the twenties era stereotypes that they are styled as. The one noted as "the flapper" is smiling and has curly, slightly unkempt hair, with a headband around it. She has lighter makeup than the woman next to her, who has dark lips and eyeshadow and is labelled "the vamp". She has large circular statement earrings and an ornate headpiece atop her smooth updo. Her eyes are downturned, and her expression less approachable. Harold is coloured in greyscale, and so are the ladies, although they have a warmer brown tone, as does the smoke. There's a pinker line of light surrounding them and the writing. The background is a dark brown.]
Inktober - Day 15 (Guidebook)
Film - Girl Shy (Fred C. Newmeyer, Sam Taylor, 1924)
#inktober#inktober 2024#girl shy#harold lloyd#girl shy 1924#harold lloyd fanart#girl shy 1924 fanart#digital art#if u wanna get into harold lloyd films id probs recommend something like the freshman first but uhhh i do like this one obvs#i cant tell if its sexist or making fun of that with the portion this is referencing tbh ... or like some weird combo#which is a question that always pops up when watching silent comedy lol#so just be aware of that before u watch it lol#its really cute though :) the main romance (not pictured) is so 💛💛💛#also for some reason i remembered there being 3 fantasy women instead of just the two here 🤔🤔 couldnt find anything tho...#i know the move for drawing silent era stuff would be black and white or normal greyscale but i wanted something more sepia here#i think a lot of people underestimate the variety of tones in silent cinema tbh#i love when i watch one and they do the blue and yellow tinting for scenes <3#anyway song of the day is shes so modern by the boomtown rats :)#have recently become obssessed with the song... on repeat... consuming my thoughts...#really really catchy 🙏🙏#i am getting into the boomtown rats a bit tbh ... really enjoying the album this song is from 💛💛
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Im gonna need your like, whole musical rec list, bc literally every song you have posted has not flopped once, give me your faves i need to eat them
OUGHHH YOUVE UNLOCKED THE BEAST ARGSHHFHJDF....
in the interest of making this both easily accessible but not stretching the dashboard, im embedding bandcamp links when i can, otherwise linking to youtube when unavailable
in no particular order, inclusion based mostly on what im still actively into LMAO but also just things you should give a go at least once:
list of artist recommendations
zeal and ardor: described as a mix of african-american spirituals and black metal. try devil is fine, you aint coming back, wake of a nation or church burns
bloodywood: indian folk metal, literally nobody is doing it like them. recently featured in monkey man (2024), try chakh le, yaad or dana dan
stromae: if youve never heard any of his songs WHAT ARE YOU DOING..... incredible lyricist, described as a blend of hip hop/electronic. papaoutai made the rounds on tumblr a while back, but you should also try santé and l'enfer
alamat: pinoy pop. a youtube commenter described them as sounding like 2nd gen kpop which probably also explains why i took a shine to them LMAO, notable for the amount of filipino culture on display and the diversity thereof (singing in different languages, themes). first heard them thru kasmala either here or on twitter lmao, try aswang or maharani
andy bull: alt-pop. a lot of poppy and upbeat songs with a melancholic undertone imo. an australian artist, try it's all connected or keep on running
cosmo sheldrake: electronic, wikipedia also lists him as folktronica and baroque pop. you may have heard the song come along on an apple ad - hes known for sampling sounds from nature. pliocene for example features sounds from endangered ecosystems.
if you like cosmo sheldrake, you might like hidden orchestra (electronica, ambient). also making use of field recordings, i really love the archipelago mixtape but its a hard sell at about an hour lmao. if you like the following song then i implore you to give it a go
son lux: experimental, you may have heard from them in the entire soundtrack for everything everywhere all at once (!!!!!). try dangerous, dream state (brighter night) or live another life.
ammar 808: electronic/world fusion, also behind bargou 08 (folk rock you should also listen to). i just cant get ain essouda out of my head, but i also love geeta duniki
miyavi: j-rock, used to be a visual kei artist. these days he might be known more for anime openings like flashback (kokkoku) or other side (id:invaded), or for work like snakes in arcane (or actually inspiring and voicing a character in it), but ive always been partial to his early work like sukkyanen myv or ashita, genki ni naare
songs/albums
'threads' album by now, now (indie rock).
'dream to make believe' or 'what to do when you are dead' by armor for sleep (rock, emo). here's the truth about heaven from the latter album
i already posted about it but denzel curry's 13lood 1n + 13lood out mixx (rap, trap) is extremely good
the guilty gear soundtracks and im so serious im not fucking joking. different kinds of rock and metal and all sorts of influences put in, a genuine labor of love. xrd and earlier games are mainly instrumental with some vocal tracks (try give me a break or big blast sonic), while strive pretty much always includes vocals (of course i need to rec rock parade, but also try requiem. its genuinely hard for me to pick and choose lmao)
not an album and not an artist
coke studio pakistan and coke studio bangla knocking it out of the fucking park, im particularly a fan of harkalay and kotha koiyo na. you could try the other coke studios too (tamil, india, etc)
triple j like a version is when the radio station triple j brings in artists and has them do a cover of a song (artists choice). i liked denzel curry's cover of bulls on parade and flume's shooting stars (video for this one is incredible, man had a vision you just have to stick it out), but you get a lot of interesting interpretations like the wombats' running up that hill, gordi's in the end or, infamously. the wiggles' elephant
ive DEFINITELY missed out some, but thats what my music tag is for LMAO i hope someone discovers something they like here!!!!
#ive tried to include a mix of songs that covers their range..#includes the ones i like but ALSO is easiest on newcomers#particularly with the metal bands LMAO#eg church burns isnt really my favorite on the album but i remember it being the song i started with#specifically because someone in the reviews said it would be the easiest to start with. and they were right#also miyavi HAD to be here ive been a fan since GRADE SCHOOL#if ive recommended an album and not the artist its probably because im not a huge fan of their other stuff LMAO either cos#theyve moved away from what ive recommended stylistically (armor for sleep or now now)#or i havent gotten to a lot of the other stuff/its not my thing (denzel curry. sorry)#i liked the song ricky but a lot of the discography just isnt what i listen to rip#honestly it was so hard to choose AHSDUSDF i tried to choose artists that i really think others should listen to#but yeah obviously some are just there because. /i/ like them lol#wait not me reading the ask properly again and seeing that the focus was MY faves ASHDSDFSDHFBSDf#i got too excited at the prospect of recommending music#sonochinosodomy#ask#Bandcamp#music#obviously this couldnt be Everything... but ive done my best#to pare it down.............#long post
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If you don’t mind, I’m gonna yap for a second.. I think another problem with Kab is how sudden the turn around was. Like in the first convo where Kab was acting “evil”, Zam fought back with the argument that she’s wasn’t really evil at all and I think he did believe that at least a little. And if Kab slowly began to turn her path around then he would be a bit more trusting cause he would have SEEN her actual emotional growth but the turn around was so fast, it feels like there was no emotional growth at all and that Kab is still the same as before, cause she basically is. She still wants Mane dead no matter the cost and she’s still, intentionally or not, trying to manipulate Zam, but she wants to be treated as if she’s had that whole long term emotional growth
yeah ii think this is where her majority experience with short-term smps really bit her in the ass, i think there are two main directions that other ppl take it tho: 1. is as what you speculate in that some ppl think that she hasnt had genuine growth and hasnt changed at all and 2. that she genuinely changes too quickly and is therefore unreliable regardless of if shes being honest or not
i think the reason zam was so receptive to her in silent scream was cause this has been a recurrent plot point for a couple streams now, kab trespassing zams base to yap while zam tries to decipher her wants and motivations until eventually she just let it all out and in that instance i think he did genuinely believed that she changed even if it was slowly/just a little bit
....but then die for you happened lol
ssee the thing about kab is that shes shes all-or-nothing, going from one extreme to the next after just a little bit of change in character which can be jarring to some ppl to say the least (unless you thought she was lying and therefore any character development shouldnt be believed i suppose) but is something that was a great asset in shorter and arena-based smps where you had to get as much advantage against your opponent as possible without having to worry about the long-term consequences of these actions ie them not trusting you while still having to interact often in mundane ways even after messing with them. while she Can be swayed this only really works with things she was already unsure of which while a great motivator and trait to keep her on track with her goals (again another great trait for short-term smps), can be really jarring and distressing for other ppl if the things she was absolutely sure about goes against their own perspective like for example her thinking that derapchu killing her constitutes zam getting payback for her as the protector of the server (The protector, not A protector like zam insists, The protector of the server)
i think shes far too used to the fast-paced instant acceptance of changed personality in arena smps that is a natural consequence of them being short-term and having a revolving door of members and teams which is why she expects ppl to accept her growth and efforts so quickly even if realistically nobody would hand over their trust that easily esp after essentially being harassed in their own home multiple times, like even in normal smps where theres a baseline amount of trust ppl still wouldnt trust you after doing that, what more in a server like lifesteal where general trust is low basically all the time?
#mine.ask#Anonymous#i wrote most of this at like 2 am cause i couldnt sleep so i hope this is understandable lol#like. kabs actions are logical sure but its one extreme to the next#even zam takes at least a couple weeks before changing into something opposite than he was#and hes one of if not the most fickle ppl on the server#like. idk. ive noticed from tge beginning that kabs lore is pretty fast-paced compared to everyone else#but after she got fixated on zam it increased by a lot i feel#like hating him one moment then loving him the next#like damn girl is he your fp /j#but yeah a lot of things kab does can be explained away by the fact that shes never really had to deal with the long-term consequences#of fucking with someone#whether it be because of the fact the smps she was in were short ones or cause clown was there to get rid of her opps#and like. in a regular smp maybe ppl would believe her more#but this is ls where all the players are accutely aware of the fact that trusting the wrong ppl could get them killed or worse#and kab not only has an untrustworthy rep thanks to money smp (that she was was proudly flaunting)(also derap is here)#but her still continuing to lie and manipulate ppl does not make ppl want to give her the necessary baseline trust#that would constitute believing in her whenever she changes her mind/direction#and unfortunately for her; now that shes been established as untrustworthy on lifesteal itself#(compare her rep to wemmbu whos rep comes from non-ls smps and is proudly trustworthy and loyal on ls itself)#that baseline trust is gonna be really difficult to go against#i was gonna give spoke as an example but then remembered he manipulated pbaj during the election arc lmao#but uh yeah reputation is really important on ls whether the players like it or not and kabs rep is unfortunately not the best#like bruh zam thinks shes less trustworthy than Spoke#do you have any idea how untrustwortthy someone would feel you are to get that low on the trustworthiness tier???#like damn it hasnt even been a full season yet
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i love when vocal synth characters are like over the age of forty LIKE i get why teen and young adult is the marketing move but god i love a good grown ass adult. show me that mortgage-paying singing robot NOW
#frimo doesnt have an official age if i remember correctly but everyone on earth saw his ikeoji design and was like#points. 45 year old man.#theres a few others but not a whole lot explicitly#kaachanloid and kujiloid are good ones#kujiloid as some manner of sea grandma and kaachanloid is. i dont actually know her age#i assumed like 40 ish maaaaybe 50 but she is. a cartoon blob <3#OH and matsupoid is. for some reason a bit of a grandpa despite gachapoid being just a little guy#those are all win100 characters. oh and there was macne papa for garageband and such#god i love macne papa. bring him back. bring him back.#there might be licensing issues tho. nana seems to be sorted out but i dunno about the rest of the family#and of course i couldnt forget sourin who like. looks in his 50s but also age unknown again LOL#which might be implying a thousand year old thing or smth?. or maybe hes just a guy who likes to be private. the freedom of vsynths....#AND ALSO that little thang. i forgot his name. the little chibi grandpa dragon. he's like a lil chibi voice ver of a furry utau old man#awesome#are there any others. i bet theres some more utau.... the beauty of utau#you can make as many 40+ aged characters you want. they can be 50. 60. 80. you can do anything
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ouaaaaaghhh i've been on a bit of a pokemon binge lately......... i should crack open my old pokemon games and take a peek at my teams :,) i wish i still had my old copy of conquest and black 2 though............ :(
#gu6chan's musings#im so sad because literally ALL my pokemon games i've had as a teen i still have#up to sun and moon which i got on christmas when i was NINETEEN lmao!!!#but yeah pokemon was technically my first fandom ig???? i used to watch my brother play pokemon yellow and crystal a lot when i was TINY#but i never ACTUALLY played pokemon or video games in general myself until my older sister surprised me with my first video game console#and video game when she came up from florida 😭 a black dsi with pokemon black; i was 13 and my dad HATED her for it like 'Why are you#giving her videogames??? she's a girl :/' BUT I HAD IT!!!! MY FIRST EVER POKEMON GAME THAT BELONGED TO MEEEEE#i loved the SHIT out of that game and then got black 2; soulsilver and platinum; pokemon conquest; got the 3ds games...#i still have platinum/soulsilver as well as all the mainline 3ds games i believe#but conquest; black; and black 2 i lost :( literally my FAVOURITES i took them everywhere with me (which is why i lost them lmao)#funny enough i know exactly where black 2 IS though; its in the pocket of a jacket i owned but lost back between 2013-2014???#if i find the jacket it will 100% be in there; i just couldn't find the jacket and tbh idek if its still around anymore or is in storage#but if it is!!!! i'll literally cry lmao#black 2 is where i got my first level 100 pokemon; a magneton....... i ADORED that little bastard ouaaaghh....#i dont believe i ever managed to get past the league in black 2 though bc i remember being so pissed i couldnt get to see the other side of#the map beyond castelia city lmao#14-15 years old and i STILL didn't believe in stat moves 😭 i deserved to get shot#But fun fact: I DID get a new copy of Black a few years back!!! only it 1. already had save data on it and 2. it was full of rare/hacked#legendaries young me could only ever DREAM of having so i can't get myself to restart the save data even though i rlly want to.......#oh but funny enough!!! i also still have the 14 y/o dsi i was gifted back then; it still works though the battery cover is missing so you#have to hold it lol#but aaaaa so many fond memories of playing black and black 2... black 2 especially since i never really got to finish it lol#like#i finished the main CAMPAIGN with plasma and ghetsis trying to fucking kill you and all that (Something which i remember being so :0!!!?!?!#when i first saw it omgggg its such a clear memory aaaa) but i think like#i got up to the league and could never beat it........ so i just went back to training my mons till i got a level 100 magneton lmao#so many good memories; i hope i can get copies of black 2 and conquest again someday...
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I do find it so funny that I will graduate college days away from my birthday. Like my birthday is literally in between the end of the semester ("graduation") and commencement
It really will be like a joint graduation & birthday party for me lmao
#speculation nation#i dont really do birthday parties anymore. havent in a long time. mostly just go out and do smth fun around my bday. ya kno#also have cake but like not in a party way. just like. here's cake lol#but im probably only gonna graduate from college once. which means i might as well live it up and all.#invite all sorts of extended family and people who have known me. etc etc.#actually it just kinda sunk in that i am. Computer and Information Technology (Systems Analysis and Design focus) w a minor in Communication#like those are words. it's a lot of words but actually it really is pretty accurate?? like that's indeed what ive been studying.#now how much i *remember* is another question. considering how long ive taken to get thru school lol#but that's what people will see on my degree. that's my Thing. graduated in Computer Systems and Talking.#idk it's just weird to have spent so much of my life on this and like That's the culmination. it took so much work.#even beyond a normal 4 years. i switched my major *twice*. switched my minor too.#first year engineering to undecided liberal arts (as a temp major trying to switch to computer science bc i couldnt stay in FYE)#but then computer science sucked so i switched to trying to get into computer & info tech. which is different. and better.#and ive been in it long enough now that ive kinda forgotten but it did take some fuckin work to switch into it.#like i had to take certain classes first & i couldnt take them during the semesters that in-major students would take them#and i had to have my gpa up to a certain level etc etc. so many hoops to jump thru. i think it took me at least a year. or more. idr#but i made it in and thats my major. thats my thing. computers and information systems and communication.#doesnt FEEL like im an almost-graduate. but then i think about all the things ive taken and learned.#and maybe i dont remember a lot of the more specific things from these classes. but i took core lessons away from each one.#wont be able to recite the theories but i can live them. and thats the point of an education i guess.#anyways im gonna have to start job searching before too long and eughhbb. need to get my license first tho probably.#which i will... i will.... i have so many things to deal with... my life will be So Different in a year...#it will require me to put in the work now. but i can do it. and then a year from now. i'll hopefully be in a better spot.#living somewhere else. graduated from college. with a license and a car. maybe even an IT job of some kind.#kind of scared of trying to find a Big Boy Job. aka a job that requires a degree and networking and all that shit.#rather than just showing up and being like Hi i can do this job. i am not a total drain of a person. hire me please 👍#hfkahfks so many things to think about. and through it all i am still dealing with DEADLINES...!!!!#but yeah this is why my writing has largely been put on hold. idk i have a lot of things im dealing with rn.
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i just fucking hate having ptsd all of it. so many stupid fucking things send me into fucking hysterics it sucks and i hate it and i dont want itttt anymore i dont want it.
#i literally like. i didnt tell u guys bc it was embarassing#but i had to hype myself up to eat a fucking orange the other day. like i was shaking and crying and i nearly threw up.#bc it fucking reminded me of All that and also bc its one of the only foods i got to eat outside ofm my one meal a day#while i was living there. bc my coworker gave me oranges sometimes#and one time she gave me a whole bag of cuties which was wonderful of her i miss her#but i pretty much like. bc during m-f i had a meal at work#and i could get something from the vending machine if i needed to#but on the weekends i had to either order food (which would always make me insanely nauseous bc of. the money stuff. yk) or just eat#what i had in my room bc i couldnt use the kitchen bc the roommates would be mad at me#and they might kick me out and id be actually fucked. its so crazy looking back that i genuinely the entire time i fucking lived there even#b4 the breakup the entire time i was in terror that theyd evict me. bc i wouldnt have been able to do anything abt it#i mean thats why i didnt like. leave him after he . and stuff. both bc i thought i didnt deserve anything better and bc i was terrified#theyd evict me and i wouldnt have any way to get home. it was terrifying#but ya. so for a couple weeks i rationed myself One orange per day lol. and on weekends that was all i was able to eat rly#idk. i hate ptsd. basicalllyyyy is the gist of ittt. and i keep thinking abt random fucking things they did to me#me when they jokingly tell me to starve myself when i literally have a fucking eating disorder. and when i told The Only Person i knew in#that fucking house abt it he told me i was being dramatic and i was just being greedy and etc. and then later when i got off work today i#saw on their fucking whiteboard in the kitchen i wasnt supposed to use Eat more <3 as one of their goals. while i went to sit in the garage#for the weekend eating a single fucking orange a day. god#idk. ive gotten better with eating i still have the scale but i ws able to go months without using it until the medical call the other week#and i havent used it since but. everytime i think abt all that itmakes me want to go back to it. i cant tho everyone would notice#i do still eat a wholee lot less than i did b4 washington but idk. idont remember if i even ate today i probably should but i dont feel#hungry but i cant even fucking trust that bc i Starved myself for so fucking long im too good at ignoring hunger. and i never was super in#touch with my body but im constantly numb now. idk.#ed ment#a2t#i ws gonna say more but it ws tmi + tag limit anyway. its just insane that my fucking ed wouldnt have happened if it werent for him and it#graduated i wouldnt have been isolatedinever wouldve had an ed. like 50% of my ptsd would be Gone if i just hadnt joined that discord. lol
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my hxh experience is also very confusing bc i started watching it like 2+ years ago at my partners apartment, but then i think we stopped for a bit / we moved around a bit, and kinda just never got back to it. then a while after we moved in with each other wayyyy later we eventually picked it back up and then this time in dub form bc it's easier for me to focus if i dont have to try and read everything quick enough and also see whats happening jfkldshg so it was like
sub version watched up through like halfway through york new auction arc or whatever
[2+ YEAR LONG GAP???]
picking right back up exactly in the midway spot where we left off, now in dub, i cannot remember Jack Shit and have to keep asking my partner [who has seen/read it before] what's going on and who everyone is every 5 seconds. there are so many characters and i remembered like 6 of them at best fdhjvlksjldhg. killua's grandpa and dad showed up like an episode or 2 after we picked it back up and i was like who are these guys. where did they come from. tbh being told who they were didnt help bc i still didnt understand why or how they were there dfshjfghjgf
#and then they did it again in chimera ant arc.... where did killuas dad come from since when was he in on the plan#AND WHERED THEY GO. I HAVENT SEEN THEM COME BACK SINCE THEN.... did they actually leave this time... i dont know#also dude i miss netero :[ we r like a couple episodes after the big mega heart attack explosion thing#i love a cool old man#i still struggle to remember peoples names bc god there are SO many characters#but chimera ant arc is so long that you at least spend a lot of time with them so theres some names ive eventually learned#but im still me so i cant tell you how many times i called meleoron 'lemeleon'#it's like pokemon with him i cant. remember it very clearly and i mix it up hardcore#other people i just cant remember at all so im like uhhh. ponytail guy <- which barely narrows it down they keep finding ponytail guys....#nobunaga.... shoot.... some other guy i think. actually maybe not that many idr LOL#dont even get me started on the spiders. it took me forever just to get nobunaga lol#there are soooo many of them and i had forgotten the first chunk we'd watched after the irl timeskip#so i was in realtime trying to recall who eveyrone was while they were doing shit and it was REALLY CONFUSING#i really need to restart from the beginning but im gonna wait til we finish the anime lol#oh also i like. completley forgot illumi or w/e was doing the hunter exam with hisoka in that first arc#bc literally theres like ONE or two brief moments in. idk if it was greed island or right before it#where hisokas like yeah i calld a friend. and illumis there like 🧍#and i was like he knows killuas brother??? theyre friends???#bc i just had no memory of them interacting before fdlkhgjkf#i like kinda forgot illumi existed til then i think jdkslf or maybe when he was haunting killua idr#actually we went back and watched part of an episode when killua was w/his family#bc i couldnt remember ANYTHING i was like. why was he there again. dont they suck or something. what happened.#and tbh. i still dont get what their vibe is hwhwhfhehg#things to revisit once i get out of the ant pit
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Congratulations on getting close to 200!
I haven't been following for super long, but I really like seeing your art and hunter and just generally your brainrot. It's really cool. Hope you're having a good one!
Aaaa thank you so much!! I'm just glad you decided to follow and hang around at all and that you're enjoying my work and watching my constant spiral deeper into my incurable brainrot 😂 You're not that late to the party though, I haven't been in the fandom too long-I only completed my first playthrough of BB in Feb of this year, but I have been churning out stuff for it ever since. Seriously, the world of Bloodborne has me in a chokehold the likes of which I've never known but I'm glad about it!! It's a constant well of inspiration and this is probably the most engaging, sweet and welcoming fandom I've ever been a part of ❤️
I am having a really awesome time here, and I am so appreciative for all of you lovely people who make it so. I'm grateful to be growing as an artist alongside so many cool and inspiring people and that individuals like yourself are so kind and supportive of the stuff I do here. Pls stay tuned for ever deeper levels of bloodrot👍
#sinbox#(WONDROUS INBOX MESSAGES...)#(thank u sm for taking the time to visit i rly appreciate!!!)#(i am having a gr8 one i hope u are too friend)#(i remember lmao...buying bloodborne in like july of 2022 and being too intimidated to play it)#(bc i couldnt even get past the basic enemies in central yharnam and i didnt come back until feb this year)#(AND LOOK AT ME NOW LOOOL ON NG+5 AND A NEW SAVE FILE FOR RUZA SPECIFICALLY)#(and part of the best fandom i have personally ever found HOW THE TURN TABLES HUH)#(i love bb so much........i always have so much to say. its just gotten even worse since ruza was born LOL)#(I am permarotted so lmao THERE WILL BE LOTS MORE TO COME!!!)#(thanks again!!! i love chatting with y'all!!)
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Conversation has now shifted to our nephew and how cool he is now as a teen
Me: I’m so glad I didn’t murder him earlier in life
Sister: Between you and dad it really is a miracle
#out of shirt#IM PERISHING#SHES RIGHT THO#DAD FREAKIN COULDNT STAND HIM AS A KID LOL#also oh my god my sister is now saying hey remember when it came out he didn’t know dad was his grandpa#UH WHAT NO I DID NOT KNOW#APPAREBTLY HE SAID THIS A FEW YEARS AGO#I mean biologically he’s not he’s my brothers son and my brother is from my moms first marriage but his bio grand dad is not in the picture#but no he knows mom is his grandma he calls her grandma he just called dad by his name#BUT I NEVER REALIZED HE THOUGHT HE WAS JUST SOME DUDE#This is hilarious and also makes a lot of sense actually
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ok anyway im leaving in. the day after tomorrow at like 2am so im just saying its tomorrow cause im literally just gonna stay up till then theres no point in sleeping. BUT two things. one i need to finish packing. my clothes are dry so i just have to bring them upstairs and pack. sort of stressed out bc like. i like my outfit i dont want to change it but everyones telling me its too hot for a leather jacket like i know!!!! but its my jacket :(
anyway i just have to do that so ill do it now and then…on top of that i wanted to get the draft for my ghost story done but i havent been working on it at all >_< ive just been reading comics the past couple days. so tomorrow. for sure. i will definitely work in getting the draft done totally.
but ugh im kind of nervous i havent seen these people in so long and im not great socially. also i dont go on trips in general so like. i hope i have energy for a full month yknow. i have a tendency of isolating myself when im stressed out but i dont have any space to do that…not that i should but whatever you know
#LIKE. im just eugh like im Bad at small talk. im better at dispensing information and leaving it that#or listening. ive been practicing listening a lot more so i dont overtalk and everyone gets a turn#OH RIGHT!!!! i hope. cause i have 4 cousins. two are toddler age#one is a little younger than me so like 13 but hes a boy idk how he is cause he might be annoying no offense <3#and then an older girl whos around my brothers age so a few years older. and we never rlly talked cause it was always my brorher and her#last i saw them i was like. god idk it couldnt have been too young cause i got black out drunk before i stayed with them#so. 11? 12? definitely younger than 13 i know for a fact#im bad with times tho#anyway its been a while and im a lot older now. so i hope shes there so we can talk and be friends idk#apparently my brother isnt close to her anymore? he called her a bitch last time we talked abt her so. hope i do see her#and my aunt! i always liked her a lot and my brothers prob gonna be busy with our uncle. ill be stuck with the younger kids but thats ok i#dont mind since im used to handling my sister. apparently theyve wanted to meet me for a long time so i am super excited#i dont think anyones gonna expect what i look like tho lol i dont think anyone could have guess me being punk#not even me like i distinctly remember in elementary my friend. we were talking about mcr and emo / punk stuff and he was like. you coukd#never be like that. ummmmm well guess what dickhead!!!! jokes were actyally still close lol#ANYWAY i am fucking excited and nervous and have to find a normal way to bring up 18th century fashion or perhaps history of contemporary#folk
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i dont mean this as like some kind of gotcha or whatever im a big fan of both concatenative and AI vocal synths pretty equally but i am curious if in like 5-10 years we're gonna get like some sort of nostalgia for the vaguely underwater sounding cevio AI 1.0 early vocoder-esque engine noise. whats that quote about like cd skipping and tape grain. the thing that we hated the most in old tech is the first thing we try to recreate for nostalgia or something like that
#the early AI vocoder sound while difficult to work with can sound really interesting#its annoying if ur trying to do funky stuff with pitchbending and other parameters because it like#eats up it all up and buries it underwater LOL BUT it can also sound like really interesting effects by default#it works well for housey edm and slightly unusual pop. i think kafu and haru especially. stuff were you want to sound a little artificial#but not flat like concatenative stuff more warbly#will people remember how hated it all was. will people remember#in general a lot of vocal synthesis preferences is like what engine noise do you like most#im the worlds only V3 engine noise hater despite liking v1/2/4 noise LOL#(its FINE its inoffensive its serviceable but i think thats why i dont like it <3 )#(like most vocals outside of a couple miku appends and maybe like. the zola guys. avanna. see u. a few other non jpn vocals)#(they all got really blurred and homogenized to sound like eachother in v3. v4 updates and remasters i much preferred)#i dont mind sv's super SUPER breathy noise LOL and cevio/voisona 2.0 gets clippy in interesting ways#i looooooove v1 noise i know i already said this but i looooooove it the same way i love like. dectalk#i love you paul. my perfect paul. eaiou. eaiou.#wait im getting distracted. i couldnt tell you much about v5 tho. i lowkey kind of missed it entirely. i like the meika gyals tho#but yeah i dunno. i wonder if people are gonna miss cevio 1 and v6ai noise in a few years
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finished umbrella academy ... !
#mine#long ramble ->#well...my first thoughts are 1. i did cry in the finale...no spoilers though 2. justin h min was SOOOO CUTE THIS SEASON OFMG#i couldnt handle it....#anyway back to serious business. i liked it...i think it was a bit weaker for me than the other seasons but maybe just because its been so#long since season 3 and the other netflix shows i spent the past few years watching all ended a year or two ago#so i guess there was more emotional distance so to speak. but i still really enjoyed it#luther was top notch this season he was just fun every time he was on screen and i really liked that especially bc#i remember he was kind of annoying in the earlier seasons lol#i disliked the cheating plotline as i always do of course. and i liked seeing nick offerman and megan mullally but everyone does#i was happy abigail actually got more than 0.2 seconds of screentime and we got to learn a bit more aobut her#i think her secret plot was very bad bitch and i respect her for that#i liked s4 reggie he was much better than the old one(s)...hmm and i wouldve liked a bit more screentime with jennifer#she felt a bit more like a plot device than a character honestly the writing was weak there#i liked the siblings this season though i think we got to see them mature a good bit both in-season and compared to the first 3#as for the actual overarching plot...well i'm happy things ended the way they did#and for me as someone whose tastes were fundamentally and irrevocably influenced by pmd explorers#im always a sucker for a good time travel story especially one where REDACTED happens at the end#cause its so reminiscent of that game lol but anyway yeah i liked it#someday when i have a lot of time to burn maybe i'll rewatch the whole thing from the start. classic tradition#ohhh maybe when i get my next gender surgery i'll do that...
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