#it was a lot and i couldnt remember it lol

[ryssbelle]

I forgot the set up so all yall get is the punchline

[deoidesign]

Quick re-do of a 4 year old piece

[sea-buns]

Forgive me if I'm a bit nervous about Gorgug this season. It's just that the last Zac Oyama pc was Colin Provolone, who was arguably one of his greatest D20 performances, if not the greatest.

Zac always does great with every pc he plays, but Colin was something else. He came out swinging with actions and words that were teeming with unspoken emotional baggage. The way Colin's presence affected the other pcs; there was this level of depth that I don't think I've seen in any of his other characters. It was understated and quiet in that signature "just a guy" way that he tends to be, while still captivating everyone instantly with just how raw it was.

Not to say we haven't seen emotional depth in Gorgug. It's just that, compared to the other Bad Kids, Gorgug's journey and progression as a character has been very... impersonal? Like, yes, he found his birth parents, and he found friends who appreciate him, and he faced his insecurities about his intelligence, and he navigated relationship troubles, and his trial through the claustrophobic bug-tunnels was a horrifically-uncanny parallel to how he's spent his entire life trying to make himself as small as possible.

But how much of that has actually changed him from the Gorgug we started with? I would agree that he's definitely happier with his life, given all the loving and supportive people that have been added to it when it used to be just him and his parents. And he's certainly grown into himself and become more self-assured in his abilities, even if he's still, and always will be, our anxious little guy. And there's nothing wrong with that. I've always liked how Gorgug was a representation of all the little things. The subtle acts and kindnesses that don't seem like much to most, but to some are everything.

We don't need another Bad Kid living in fear that their mouth could be shit-in at any moment. We've already got one-too-many.

All that being said, I just feel like Gorgug's personal story beats are much easier to sweep under the rug than everyone else's. He has the same soft and understated quality that Colin held, but they lack that extra oomph that pushed Colin over the edge from being just another guy in a series of dudes, to a character that the vast majority of us could not get out of our heads. He took someone who was anxious and softspoken, who ultimately never wanted to be violent— someone who is remarkably similar to Gorgug in many ways— and maintained that demeanor and core in Colin's character while still hitting us in the feels with character development at max velocity at every turn.

I think Zac gets better and better at this with every season that goes by. With each new character, there is always something that leaves me stunned in awe. And it's been, what, three? Four years since we last saw Gorgug?

I'm just,,, I'm cautiously optimistic but also going into a bit of a worry about what violence this man may inflict upon us

[art--harridan]

[Image description: A digital drawing based on the film Girl Shy. It depicts Harold Lloyd's character Harold Meadows sat at his typewriter, paused in thought as his fingers hover above it. His eyes are looking up and his mouth is slightly open, like he's dreaming awake. A thought bubble floats around him like smoke, with the faces of two women in the middle of it. The two have annotations next to them that denote the twenties era stereotypes that they are styled as. The one noted as "the flapper" is smiling and has curly, slightly unkempt hair, with a headband around it. She has lighter makeup than the woman next to her, who has dark lips and eyeshadow and is labelled "the vamp". She has large circular statement earrings and an ornate headpiece atop her smooth updo. Her eyes are downturned, and her expression less approachable. Harold is coloured in greyscale, and so are the ladies, although they have a warmer brown tone, as does the smoke. There's a pinker line of light surrounding them and the writing. The background is a dark brown.]

Inktober - Day 15 (Guidebook)

Film - Girl Shy (Fred C. Newmeyer, Sam Taylor, 1924)

[hereforthe911buds]

the best and most excruciating ending for season 7 would be going full circle with Eddie unconscious in the hospital due to a very close call, with all the trauma of nearly losing Eddie in the season 4 shooting resurfacing for Buck. maybe there would be a scene where Buck isn't allowed to go visit Eddie while in ICU since he isn't legally family, really nailing into him that's what he wants to be for Eddie, even more than already being tied to Christopher. because Eddie is his person.

once out of the worst of it, Buck is alone with Eddie in a hospital room, Eddie still not conscious but improving. Buck is sitting by the bed holding his hand, while no longer on the edge of death, Buck is still really upset.

finally Buck releases, "I can't keep doing this. not just seeing you like this but not being able to be there every step of the way, because-"

he chokes on his word and pauses.

"there is something I want to tell to you. something that I've probably wanted to say for a while now, and I promise to tell you again when you wake up. but I need to say it once while I know you're breathing because I'll hate myself forever if I don't."

Buck stands up and leans over Eddie. he goes in close, lips hovering over Eddie's forehead, "I'm in love with you Edmundo Diaz" in the softest, most vulnerable volume possible before pressing a soft kiss on his temple, "and even if you don't love me back in the same way, I needed to say it."

there's no response. Buck knew there wouldn't be but he wanted one so bad, somewhat hoping for a fairytale moment. he pulls away but keeps talking to like they were having a conversation, "I need to go to the cafeteria for a drink, I'll be right back."

as his hand is slipping away, suddenly there is a squeeze back.

Buck nearly jumps out of his skin, on top of wondering if Eddie heard him just now. he is still too exhausted to open his eyes, but then Eddie sighs, "I love you too Evan Buckley". Buck is pale, looking terrified, and then the lightest smile.

and then BAM the scene cuts and the credits begin.

imagine the chaos of confirmation at the very last moment. the fan reaction. the interviews. everything, but also that being all we get story wise for some period of time. would be the best and worst thing to ever happen to me. I doubt it will go that way but it would really signify "we are picking up where the story should have gone in season 4" which i think would be beautiful.

[lokh]

Im gonna need your like, whole musical rec list, bc literally every song you have posted has not flopped once, give me your faves i need to eat them

OUGHHH YOUVE UNLOCKED THE BEAST ARGSHHFHJDF....

in the interest of making this both easily accessible but not stretching the dashboard, im embedding bandcamp links when i can, otherwise linking to youtube when unavailable

in no particular order, inclusion based mostly on what im still actively into LMAO but also just things you should give a go at least once:

list of artist recommendations

zeal and ardor: described as a mix of african-american spirituals and black metal. try devil is fine, you aint coming back, wake of a nation or church burns

bloodywood: indian folk metal, literally nobody is doing it like them. recently featured in monkey man (2024), try chakh le, yaad or dana dan

stromae: if youve never heard any of his songs WHAT ARE YOU DOING..... incredible lyricist, described as a blend of hip hop/electronic. papaoutai made the rounds on tumblr a while back, but you should also try santé and l'enfer

alamat: pinoy pop. a youtube commenter described them as sounding like 2nd gen kpop which probably also explains why i took a shine to them LMAO, notable for the amount of filipino culture on display and the diversity thereof (singing in different languages, themes). first heard them thru kasmala either here or on twitter lmao, try aswang or maharani

andy bull: alt-pop. a lot of poppy and upbeat songs with a melancholic undertone imo. an australian artist, try it's all connected or keep on running

cosmo sheldrake: electronic, wikipedia also lists him as folktronica and baroque pop. you may have heard the song come along on an apple ad - hes known for sampling sounds from nature. pliocene for example features sounds from endangered ecosystems.

if you like cosmo sheldrake, you might like hidden orchestra (electronica, ambient). also making use of field recordings, i really love the archipelago mixtape but its a hard sell at about an hour lmao. if you like the following song then i implore you to give it a go

son lux: experimental, you may have heard from them in the entire soundtrack for everything everywhere all at once (!!!!!). try dangerous, dream state (brighter night) or live another life.

ammar 808: electronic/world fusion, also behind bargou 08 (folk rock you should also listen to). i just cant get ain essouda out of my head, but i also love geeta duniki

miyavi: j-rock, used to be a visual kei artist. these days he might be known more for anime openings like flashback (kokkoku) or other side (id:invaded), or for work like snakes in arcane (or actually inspiring and voicing a character in it), but ive always been partial to his early work like sukkyanen myv or ashita, genki ni naare

songs/albums

'threads' album by now, now (indie rock).

'dream to make believe' or 'what to do when you are dead' by armor for sleep (rock, emo). here's the truth about heaven from the latter album

i already posted about it but denzel curry's 13lood 1n + 13lood out mixx (rap, trap) is extremely good

the guilty gear soundtracks and im so serious im not fucking joking. different kinds of rock and metal and all sorts of influences put in, a genuine labor of love. xrd and earlier games are mainly instrumental with some vocal tracks (try give me a break or big blast sonic), while strive pretty much always includes vocals (of course i need to rec rock parade, but also try requiem. its genuinely hard for me to pick and choose lmao)

not an album and not an artist

coke studio pakistan and coke studio bangla knocking it out of the fucking park, im particularly a fan of harkalay and kotha koiyo na. you could try the other coke studios too (tamil, india, etc)

triple j like a version is when the radio station triple j brings in artists and has them do a cover of a song (artists choice). i liked denzel curry's cover of bulls on parade and flume's shooting stars (video for this one is incredible, man had a vision you just have to stick it out), but you get a lot of interesting interpretations like the wombats' running up that hill, gordi's in the end or, infamously. the wiggles' elephant

ive DEFINITELY missed out some, but thats what my music tag is for LMAO i hope someone discovers something they like here!!!!

[freakinator]

If you don’t mind, I’m gonna yap for a second.. I think another problem with Kab is how sudden the turn around was. Like in the first convo where Kab was acting “evil”, Zam fought back with the argument that she’s wasn’t really evil at all and I think he did believe that at least a little. And if Kab slowly began to turn her path around then he would be a bit more trusting cause he would have SEEN her actual emotional growth but the turn around was so fast, it feels like there was no emotional growth at all and that Kab is still the same as before, cause she basically is. She still wants Mane dead no matter the cost and she’s still, intentionally or not, trying to manipulate Zam, but she wants to be treated as if she’s had that whole long term emotional growth

yeah ii think this is where her majority experience with short-term smps really bit her in the ass, i think there are two main directions that other ppl take it tho: 1. is as what you speculate in that some ppl think that she hasnt had genuine growth and hasnt changed at all and 2. that she genuinely changes too quickly and is therefore unreliable regardless of if shes being honest or not

i think the reason zam was so receptive to her in silent scream was cause this has been a recurrent plot point for a couple streams now, kab trespassing zams base to yap while zam tries to decipher her wants and motivations until eventually she just let it all out and in that instance i think he did genuinely believed that she changed even if it was slowly/just a little bit

....but then die for you happened lol

ssee the thing about kab is that shes shes all-or-nothing, going from one extreme to the next after just a little bit of change in character which can be jarring to some ppl to say the least (unless you thought she was lying and therefore any character development shouldnt be believed i suppose) but is something that was a great asset in shorter and arena-based smps where you had to get as much advantage against your opponent as possible without having to worry about the long-term consequences of these actions ie them not trusting you while still having to interact often in mundane ways even after messing with them. while she Can be swayed this only really works with things she was already unsure of which while a great motivator and trait to keep her on track with her goals (again another great trait for short-term smps), can be really jarring and distressing for other ppl if the things she was absolutely sure about goes against their own perspective like for example her thinking that derapchu killing her constitutes zam getting payback for her as the protector of the server (The protector, not A protector like zam insists, The protector of the server)

i think shes far too used to the fast-paced instant acceptance of changed personality in arena smps that is a natural consequence of them being short-term and having a revolving door of members and teams which is why she expects ppl to accept her growth and efforts so quickly even if realistically nobody would hand over their trust that easily esp after essentially being harassed in their own home multiple times, like even in normal smps where theres a baseline amount of trust ppl still wouldnt trust you after doing that, what more in a server like lifesteal where general trust is low basically all the time?

[bmpmp3]

i love when vocal synth characters are like over the age of forty LIKE i get why teen and young adult is the marketing move but god i love a good grown ass adult. show me that mortgage-paying singing robot NOW

[gu6chan]

ouaaaaaghhh i've been on a bit of a pokemon binge lately......... i should crack open my old pokemon games and take a peek at my teams :,) i wish i still had my old copy of conquest and black 2 though............ :(

[orcelito]

I do find it so funny that I will graduate college days away from my birthday. Like my birthday is literally in between the end of the semester ("graduation") and commencement

It really will be like a joint graduation & birthday party for me lmao

[itsalwaysdark]

i just fucking hate having ptsd all of it. so many stupid fucking things send me into fucking hysterics it sucks and i hate it and i dont want itttt anymore i dont want it.

[undefeatablesin]

Congratulations on getting close to 200!

I haven't been following for super long, but I really like seeing your art and hunter and just generally your brainrot. It's really cool. Hope you're having a good one!

Aaaa thank you so much!! I'm just glad you decided to follow and hang around at all and that you're enjoying my work and watching my constant spiral deeper into my incurable brainrot 😂 You're not that late to the party though, I haven't been in the fandom too long-I only completed my first playthrough of BB in Feb of this year, but I have been churning out stuff for it ever since. Seriously, the world of Bloodborne has me in a chokehold the likes of which I've never known but I'm glad about it!! It's a constant well of inspiration and this is probably the most engaging, sweet and welcoming fandom I've ever been a part of ❤️

I am having a really awesome time here, and I am so appreciative for all of you lovely people who make it so. I'm grateful to be growing as an artist alongside so many cool and inspiring people and that individuals like yourself are so kind and supportive of the stuff I do here. Pls stay tuned for ever deeper levels of bloodrot👍

[sebastianshaw]

Conversation has now shifted to our nephew and how cool he is now as a teen

Me: I’m so glad I didn’t murder him earlier in life

Sister: Between you and dad it really is a miracle

[tracfone]

hearing you only think in pictures is wild to me. I only think in words, I have literally no idea how to even conceptualise not having words in my brain 24/7 how do you like. have complex thoughts /gen

like if you were gonna idk, try and work out a pros and cons list for something, how do you go through the process of debating over which one goes where internally?

It probably sounds odd when I explain it but I'll try my best haha

Most of my thoughts are in pictures, movies, sound, etc but I think a lot of it is because I'm daydreaming......a good chunk of the time im awake. Often if I start feeling something suddenly, I'll imagine a character/some warped cartoon version of "myself" acting out the emotion I'm feeling--this can also result in me like, not processing or reacting to the emotion externally much if at all lol. It'll feel like it already happened, or it's "processed". I've reacted to it in my head so I've already acted out how I feel about it and if I don't have to tell anyone else how I'm feeling I don't really need to think about how it feels with letters, it's just kind of for me? I guess. I have a hard time explaining

In your example when I'm making a pros and cons list, it will be one of the few times I do think in words, but purely because I'm preparing to externalize it (like writing this reply!!). It's not even that words are entirely absent from my inner experience/thoughts, they're just not my own unless I am planning to type/write them out somewhere physically

[lokh]

I wonder where that demo disc went......

[bmpmp3]

i dont mean this as like some kind of gotcha or whatever im a big fan of both concatenative and AI vocal synths pretty equally but i am curious if in like 5-10 years we're gonna get like some sort of nostalgia for the vaguely underwater sounding cevio AI 1.0 early vocoder-esque engine noise. whats that quote about like cd skipping and tape grain. the thing that we hated the most in old tech is the first thing we try to recreate for nostalgia or something like that