#or my memories are seemingly incomplete

[toixxx-ace]

i love unlocking lore about my childhood from my mom and older sibling. like yes tell me about the childhood i dont remember. its like hearing about somebody else i simply have no memories of what theyre talking about

[aftgficrec]

Staff Recs - Autumn Roundup 2024

Some fics with fall vibes to warm your soul. -AFTG Fic Rec Fam

previous recs:

staff fave Halloween here (includes previous Halloween recs and supernatural roundup)

Fall Exchange 2020 here

‘doubt thou the stars be fire’ here

‘morbid stuff’ series here

‘The End Is Up To Us’ here

‘Autumn Crocus’ here

‘The Suit Universe’ part 8 here

‘Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy’ here

‘FoxTail Cafe’ series part 13 here

‘Apple Picking Day’ here

‘Fair Games’ here

‘little ghost’ here

‘Lucky Strike’ here

‘Foxglove Court’ series here

‘Thanks for nothing’ here

‘Teaching a caged bird to fly’ series part 5 here

‘Sugar, Spice, and Corporate Espionage’ here

‘The Massive Continuity of Ducks’ here

‘Spell it Out’ here

‘10 tips to stress less, without the tips’ here

‘Being So Normal’ here

‘Aidan Minyard’ here

Honeycomb by moonix [Rated T, 10871 Words, Complete, 2023, Locked]

In which Kevin owns a restaurant in a picturesque small town, Andrew is his chef, Neil disrupts the routine, no one gets poisoned with mushrooms, and life isn't so bad.

tw: implied/referenced eating disorders, tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: implied/referenced self harm

Seasons of memory by butallmystars [Rated G, 4772 Words, Complete, 2023]

Neil was all sorts of alluring and unusual; a thin strip of seemingly restless energy, eyes moving almost as much as his legs did, the bespoke lines of his blazer the most uniform thing about him and yet somehow not out of place.

tw: implied/referenced child abuse

you wish I was yours (and I hope that you're mine) by lesbiankaz [Not Rated, 9526 Words, Complete, AFTG Fall Exchange 2024]

“Aaron Minyard,” Allison said in a dramatic tone. “Truth or dare?” Aaron rolled his eyes. “Dare.” Kevin wasn't surprised. He knew Aaron would prefer to do a stupid dare instead of telling a single thing about himself. “I dare you,” she paused, making suspense, “to spend seven minutes in heaven with Kevin.” - Kevin has a crush on Aaron. Allison tries to help.

5 ultra-cute fall date ideas that will make your man fall more for you by Bravbo [Rated G, 1364 Words, Complete, AFTG Fall Exchange 2024]

The problem starts with one Neil Josten. Neil who has apparently never celebrated any holidays. Neil, with his blasé attitude about violence. Neil, with his distressingly blue eyes and freckles. Neil, who Andrew want to put on a jar and study like a bug. Yes, Neil Josten is a problem. It´s him that has driven Andrew to this, seeking advice on google like a teenage girl just to make sure Neil has the best holiday.

tw: fire

Float Down (Like Autumn Leaves) series by Apaleyellow [Not Rated, 7309 Words, Collection, Updated Oct 2024]

Part 1: fill my cup half empty (because it's never been half full) [5221 Words, Incomplete, Updated Sept 2024] The boy's face in the reflection was pale, almost translucent, with freckles dotting his cheeks and auburn hair falling in untamed curls around his face. His eyes were an icy blue, piercing and filled with a haunting sadness. Nathaniel Wesninski. The Butcher's son. The ghost of the manor. -- OR -- The one where Andrew is a best-selling horror author who visits the Wesninski Manor in search of inspiration for his next book.

tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: implied/referenced murder 

Part 2: would we survive in a horror movie? [2088 Words, Complete, 2024] Their moment was interrupted by Seth's booming voice. "Alright, losers. Time for a real story. Ever heard of the Butcher of Baltimore?" -- OR -- The one where the Foxes are telling scary stories around a campfire and only Andrew knows who Neil really is.

tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: implied/referenced murder 

penchant by rooftopkisses [Rated T, 5051 Words, Complete, AFTG Fall Exchange 2024]

When Neil is recruited by Coach Wymack to join the track team at Palmetto High School, he draws the attention of Andrew, the artsy loner, as well as Kevin, the sport’s current state champion.

Rebel Rebel by Andreil_pipedream [Rated M, 7905 Words, Complete, AFTG Fall Exchange 2024]

October settles down on the small town outside of Baltimore. Werewolves start haunting the forests and a certain orange cat gets curious. Nell meets an interesting girl who she may or may not have a crush on. After an awkward first meeting, things are made worse- or better- when she finds out they go to the same school. After a few risky decisions and oblivious flirting, she gets a date where everything starts to go wrong.

tw: child abuse, tw: extreme transphobia, tw: gaslighting, tw: confinement, tw: food deprivation, tw: implied/referenced murder

it's still the autumn leaves by TogeMythia [Rated T, 3389 Words, Complete, 2024]

‘Can I come with you?’ Andrew paused, he was sat on the floor with one foot awkwardly in the air and a black sock with an orange pumpkin pattern halfway pulled on. ‘What?’ He asked. ‘Can I come with you? Wherever you are going.’ - or Neil and Andrew spend an autumn afternoon together.

A Bushel and a Peck by justdk [Rated T, 1405 Words, Complete, 2020]

Andrew picked a few low hanging apples, handing one to Neil. They wiped them off on their shirts and snacked on them while they looked for the rest of the team. The sweet, tangy juice filled Neil’s mouth and ran down his chin. It tasted way better than a store-bought apple. Overhead crows called to each other and the smell of apples filled the crisp, autumn air. Neil closed his eyes and breathed in deep, holding in the feeling of freedom and possibility. When he opened his eyes, he found Andrew looking at him, hazel eyes warm and steady. [or: the Foxes go apple picking]

Bets, Blind Dates, and Dares. Oh My! by makebelieveanything [Rated T, 3761 Words, Complete, 2021]

Andrew loses a bet to Aaron and Kevin and he has to go on two blind dates - they go about as well as he would expect. Is Andrew stuck in a rom-com or is this really how life works?

gourd vibes only by otatop [Not Rated, 3750 Words, Complete, AFTG Fall Exchange 2021]

A mini road trip up through New England to meet the foxes.

Disparity by Jeni182 [Rated G, 3781 Words, Complete, AFTG Fall Exchange 2021]

Andrew is a criminal justice professor who keeps finding excuses to visit the library where a certain red head works.

tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: implied/referenced self harm

hopscotch heart by moonix [Rated M, 2046 Words, Complete, 2021, Locked]

Podfic here

Neil has a terrible time at a party. Andrew shows up and Neil has a slightly less terrible time at a party.

tw: implied/referenced murder, tw: anxiety

Season of mists and mellow fruitfulness by seaspeak [Not Rated, 869 Words, Complete, 2016, Locked]

In which Jean falls in love with the Fall, thanks to Jeremy

There Was Only One Pumpkin by familiarwildflowers [Not Rated, 2275 Words, Complete, AFTG Fall Exchange 2021]

To get Nicky off his back about his dating life, Neil decided to lie. Surely there would be no consequences? That's what Neil thought, until, while on a visit to a pumpkin patch, Andrew's lot steps in and he's forced to confront his lie.

Pumpkin Patch by H_bee69 [Rated G, 1600 Words, Complete, 2023]

Part 1 of Spooky times and autumn vibes 

Neil wants to go to the pumpkin patch and who is Andrew to deny Neil.

until I fell off from that peak by eeveepkmnfan [Rated M, 4817 Words, Complete, 2023]

Neil Josten lives and tries to come to terms with what that means. Or, Neil collects leaves - Andrew vocally protests.

tw: implied/referenced child abuse

Forever Falling by cshogg [Rated G, 1370 Words, Complete, 2023]

Snippets of Neil and Andrew's life during autumn: trying new things, rewriting traumatic experiences, and learning to love the seasons like normal people do.

[fieryskies]

Symbolism and Meaning in Madoka's New Teaser

Madoka's transformation begins with golden tears flowing freely from her eyes. No doubt a reference to her drained up divinity. Nevertheless, an interesting way to showcase it and I'll explain why in a moment.

As everyone has already pointed out, her outfit is very much an adapted version of her concept movie design. Chain & lock aside however, something about it feels incomplete. Stuck somewhere between her old and new dress and seemingly can't decide witch way to go.

Gloves & Shoes - Original Design

Skirt & Top - Concept Design with some Original influences

That makes sense as Madoka herself is stuck in a limbo between her old memories and the ones forged in Homura's Universe. The locket showcases her supressed side.

And of course, there's Kyuubey. All seeing and constantly watching.

My guess is that the Incubator, unsatisfied with the World at Homura's fingertips, will try to lure in the singular being capable of standing up to her: The Law of Cycles. Which also offers him another chance to gain control over its power.

What better way to attain his goal than to introduce Madoka to magic again?

The most interesting aspect of the entire sequence for me, however, is the static phone line that accompanies it in the end.

Betweem Homura's phone motif in the Trailer and Madoka's aforementioned tears, could this symbolise Madoka trying to reach out to Homura and grasping nothing?

Remember, she ended the call in the Trailer. There's no one listening on the other side anymore.

[gallifreyanhotfive]

Random Doctor Who Facts You Might Not Know, Part 51

The Eighth Doctor can play multiple instruments, one of which is the violin. (Novel: The Year of the Intelligent Tigers)

The Master tried to use Kamelion's remaining connection to the TARDIS to prevent the Fifth Doctor’s regeneration. (Audio: Winter)

A version of the Sixth Doctor and Evelyn got imprisoned in 1903. The parallel Sixth lost Evelyn, his mind, both of his legs, and after a century, his life. (Audio: Jubilee)

The TARDIS has a Hostile Owner Destruction System, which will destroy the TARDIS and anyone inside of it. (Audio: Island of the Fendahl)

Nyssa is still able to point out where Traken is in the sky from Earth. (Audio: Autumn) The light from its destruction must not have reached Earth yet, so she can see it while there but never return.

Fegax was a student at the Prydonian Academy who tried to use a time drill to protest against the elite, but his time drill did not work. The Fifth Doctor - who was Lord President at the time - fixed it for him and returned it, and Fegax used it to flood the whole Academy. (Audio: Time in Office)

Types of regeneration include the Blur, the Disciplinary, the Explosion (subtype: the Slow Explosion, the Reverse Explosion), the Morph, the Swirl, the White Light, and the Memory Vortex. (Novel: How to be a Time Lord)

The Eighth Doctor was taken over by the Fendahl once. While taken over, Lucie said he glowed. (Audio: Island of the Fendahl)

Anya Kingdom, who traveled with the Tenth Doctor and posed as Ann Kelso in the 1970s for a while, is the niece of Sara Kingdom. (Audio: The House of Kingdom)

The Eighth Doctor has been known to occasionally sing while piloting the TARDIS. (Audio: The Dalek Trap)

As mentioned in other parts, the Forge was an intelligence agency that often experimented with enhanced or alien life. While many of them were obsessed with Lazarus - the project about the Doctor - one Forge member was much more interested in Project: Wildthyme, which was about Iris Wildthyme. She decided to end it by giving them her blood, which damaged their Oracle system and destroyed one of their bases. (Short story: Project: Wildthyme)

In the Psychodrome, memories and nightmares were brought back to life. The twisted way Nyssa perceived the Doctor at first blended with her thoughts on the Master melded the two together to create King Magus. (Audio: Psychodrome)

Galah attended the Academy with the Doctor, but they were never close to each other due to differences in opinion. She was a sculptor, but one day, she landed her TARDIS on an asteroid and created a dreamscape by hooking herself up to her TARDIS's protyon unit. (Novel: Strange England)

Temporal energy smells like roses to time sensitives. (Short story: Ring Theory)

There was a moment in The Waters of Amsterdam (which takes place immediately after Arc of Infinity) where the Fifth Doctor seemingly left Nyssa and Tegan behind, but he rematerialized seconds later. While it was only seconds for Nyssa and Tegan, the Doctor did: Omega, The Burning Prince, Time Crash, The Gates of Hell, Fallen Angels, Empire of the Racnoss (in which he took on a new companion we never learn what happened to), The Lady of the Lake, A Requiem for the Doctor, My Dinner with Andrew, The Furies, Relative Time, and Collision Course. Considering we don't know what happened to Alayna, his new Gallifreyan companion, this is an incredibly incomplete list of his adventures during this time before he went back for Nyssa and Tegan. Talk about a side quest, Doc!

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[faded-mage]

Cry for the past - only there does glory dwell. For here, the bow was strung, the sword bequeathed, the vows sworn. So glory was born within the hearts of elves. Sing for the past - where rests those who came before. For each Knight, a seed was sown, roots twisting with their brothers and sisters. So the forest grew, a reflection of our might

Solas

This is not the outcome I wanted, he thought to himself. The elf had believed he was above these mistakes, that his brashness only eased with age. That he thought through the possible consequences of his plan. Clearly not. The state of the elves and how far they had fallen was on his shoulders and his actions continued to hurt more and more of them over the years he spent asleep - spreading them to hidden corners of Thedas hiding from humans or under the boot of some oppressive human city.

The Dalish didn’t listen when he stepped forward to correct their ways, their misguided devotion to the elven gods blinding them from the truth. Despite that he was enraged at the treatment of what came of his People, these modern elves are not my people, he corrected himself firmly. They were shadows of what the Elvhen once were and a constant reminder of his own pride and failures. That was no matter though, all would be fixed once he pulled the Veil down and remade the world to be better than this one, before his disastrous mistakes.

Solas felt a strange mixture of pity and annoyance as he watched the unconscious prisoner at his feet. She looks so small. Fragile. A simple, mortal thing. He did not expect her to last long in her current state but he needed her to. The elf below him lay motionless on the floor with her wrists bent at an odd angle due to the shackles that adorned them. Delicate pointed ears poked through the curtain of dark hair that spilled across the stone floor. Dalish, he noted, the vallaslin that curved across her face indicated as much.

The markings were delicate, the intricate swirls danced across her skin in a fine white ink. It brought him memories of times long ago. Slave markings. They were symbols of what he fought against, what he rebelled against. But now they adorned themselves with the blood writing willingly to honor the ‘gods’ who merely enslaved their people before. Solas was unable to push away the disgust at the sight. For a people so determined to never be enslaved again they knew so little of their own past. A patchwork of incomplete stories guided them and most of them wrong. The markings she bore, he did not recognize however. Kneeling next to the woman, he reached out a gentle hand to move the curtain of hair from her face. This design is not tied to any of their gods. Or not one that I recognize, he mused. The lines were sharper than what he had seen before. If she survived, maybe he would even care enough to ask about them.

He felt the presence of the humans in the room with him, their bodies filled the air that pressed heavily against him. For most they would appear to be standing still but Solas could feel the pressure of their small movements while they watched his every move. Sighing heavily Solas pushed away the discomfort. They were waiting for him to give some indication that he knew the prisoner at his feet. That they were in league with one another to cause the destruction of the Temple and murder thousands of people at the Conclave. Solas refused to become their scapegoat and if he could help it, he refused to have the Dalish woman be blamed for his mistakes. The elves had suffered enough with his actions.

Solas’ lips pressed into a line as he pushed away the flurry of emotions that sat in his chest. He was well practiced at it, the look of indifference and eerie stoicism. Haven’s Spymaster, Leliana, was sitting in the corner to his right. He assumed she had been tasked with watching him despite her seemingly working on paperwork in the edge of his vision. From what he could tell she was good at her job. Her interactions with her scouts and others at Haven indicated that she was not to be underestimated, however pride swelled within him as he was confident that she could not and would not see through his facade. He had known the game much longer than she. The dungeon itself held a few torches for light, casting everything in the room with an eerie orange hue, that is until the magic lodged in the prisoners’ hand flared again. It bathed his face in a sickly green light.

The guards stationed in the room shifted uncomfortably, on edge due to the events of the last day. He couldn’t blame them, not really. Thousands of people dead at the Conclave - Thedas’ first real chance at a possible peace between the rebel Mages and rogue Templars that waged a war across the continent. Their only lead to those at fault was the unconscious prisoner that lay before him, who happened to be an elf. Humans had long seen the elves as lesser and savage, the Dalish even more so. Solas turned his attention downward, watching the woman carefully. The magic that rolled off of her in waves was not only caused by the mark that marred her hand but also her own magic. The woman in question was not only a Dalish elf, she was a mage and from what he could tell, a decently powerful one. This made her an easy target for the Chantry.

Solas pushed away the thoughts once more. Anger and a bit of shame stirred within him. He gently picked up her left hand and sandwiched them between his own palms. Tentatively, he pushed his magic into hers, tasting and testing it and the magic of the mark. It pulsated just under her skin like a heartbeat. The mark flared green again, the magic that settled in her palm was his magic and it was slowly killing her. No mortal, elf or not, was supposed to hold that much power inside of them. How did this happen? How did it go wrong? The man he had given the orb to, the one who was supposed to die after unlocking it for him survived and created the hole in the sky in the process. The Breach, a hole in the Veil that connected their world and the Fade. Where did the woman fit in to all this? As the Breach above them expanded, so did the mark on her hand. Eating away at her slowly, painfully. Nothing he could do would pull the magic from her. It was stuck, anchored there at least for now. For a brief moment Solas considered letting her die. If she died, would the magic die with her? Would he be able to regain the magic? Solas resigned himself to the fact that he needed to try and keep her alive until he figured out his next steps or at least learned new information.

A door behind him opened, the familiar steps of the Seeker walking into the dungeon with him. Cassandra, a Seeker, was frightened. Terrified even. Her guilt and desperation never did sit plainly on her face but Solas could tell it was there - he knew that feeling all too well. Her overbearing presence hung over him like a cloud as she approached. Solas had gone to Haven, dropped his staff to the ground outside of its gates and requested to speak to whomever was in charge. He had the knowledge, the experience and he wanted to help them in closing the Breach that threatened all of Thedas. He was immediately met with suspicion. While not surprised by the reaction, he was annoyed by it. That deep part of him remembering how the Dalish cast his knowledge aside because it contradicted what they thought they knew about the world. Those at Haven had no idea that he was their best hope at figuring out what to do next.

Cassandra’s thick Nevarran accent rang out behind him, “Anything?”. It echoed in the small dungeon room, startling him slightly as he pulled himself back from his musing. He was not a prisoner, not like the elven woman whose hand was still nestled between his but all they could see when they looked at him was pointed ears and the fears of abominations and magic. This world has been disappointing. The prisoners’ hand was cold to the touch as the green flare of magic faded from the mark. Shaking his head, he placed her hand down gently and stood so that he could speak with the Seeker. “Whatever this mark is, it is killing her. Each time the Breach expands, so does the mark but I still believe it may be our best chance at closing it. She needs to be kept alive.” Mostly for his own plans. Having to find a new source of magic to tear down the Veil could extend his plans by decades at minimum and he was growing impatient.

The Seeker made a disgruntled grunt, turning to the Spymaster in the corner. From what Solas could tell Cassandra did not trust him. Which likely was wise on her part but not beneficial to his own goals. A silent conversation appeared to occur between the two women, eventually Leliana shook her head and Cassandra nodded. As much as Solas had assumed, Leliana was there to see if he knew the prisoner - they were perhaps working together at the Conclave, that they were both somehow at fault. Thankfully, Leliana came to the decision there was no colluding between the two elves. The Spymaster had been sitting there the entire time watching Solas with the prisoner and despite Solas’ intentions he knew she would see no familiarity because there was none. Solas did not even consider himself of the same People.

Cassandra turned back to him, stepping forward. Her movements were aggressive, humans always resorted to aggression when they were afraid. “Then you will find a way for her to awaken and to slow the progress of the mark so we can get her to the Breach.” It wasn’t a question, merely a demand and it was asking a lot. “If you do not, you will be tried as an apostate.” So now his survival was placed on the unconscious woman, the one who physically fell out of the Fade. Great. The threat was not subtle, Solas bristled. The more he spent among the humans, the more he felt the world was broken beyond repair. Knife-ear. Rabbit. Halla-rider. Savage. He held back his tongue, his distaste sitting on his lips as the Seeker turned to stalk out of the room leaving him with a handful of guards and the Spymaster.

Another flash of the green light brought his attention from the door, a small groan escaping the woman’s lips. The best he could was to add barriers around the focal point of the mark, hoping to slow the spread for now. If he could give her more time, maybe he could figure out how to use the mark through her? The Dalish were generally not fans of humans so appealing to that side of her and having her leave with him could be quite easy. If she were awake that is. Solas turned to kneel again, his hands moving gently as he applied barriers deep within her skin and pumped healing spells into the rest of her body to repair some of the damage the magic had inflicted. Her movements and sounds of pain subsided and he found she was as stable as she could be. His steely gaze redirected towards Leliana in the corner, “She is stable for now. But I will need to get closer to one of the smaller rifts before I can do much more.” His brain hummed as he considered how much information would be enough to appeal to the woman, “If I am correct the magic in her hand is the same as the magic pouring from the rifts. If I could test the theory I could be more certain if her mark could have any effect on them.”

He knew what caused the rifts and what kind of magic came from it but he was not convinced the prisoner was going to live long enough to be able to assist them and he wanted a backup plan. If she, by some miracle, survived he also wanted to ensure he had enough information prior to stealing her away from the Chantry, the elven woman somehow making herself the center of his plans - and his failures. Solas gestured to the prisoner at his feet, “If she wakes then she could be brought to a smaller rift and we can test this theory… But we should be proactive in case her body fails her.” Hoping that was more than enough information to entice the Spymaster in assisting him and giving her a taste of what could be at stake to expedite her decision to aid him. After a few quick heartbeats, Leliana stood from her chair. She watched the apostate with interest, “Do you believe she caused the Breach?” The woman asking him tentatively, Solas could truthfully shake his head no, “I highly doubt she, or any mage, would have the power to do so.”

- - -

With the inspection of the prisoner complete, Leliana escorted Solas from the dungeon only stopping once to inform their healers to work on an elfroot tonic to continue to keep the prisoner stable while Solas was absent. He was in a precarious position. Did he wait to see if the woman pulled through? Did he cut his loses and run, finding another method to enact his mission? Did he run to the farthest corner of Thedas to find another way to deal with the Breach? All of his plans up to this point, including the Veil, had failed or gone incredibly wrong. The world as it was attested to that. The other part of him, the academic, the seeker of knowledge, wanted to see if the woman survived. If she did, she had experienced something that no one else in that world had and the knowledge she would have of the Fade called to him.

He hoped getting closer to one of the rifts, studying it up close may give him more answers than questions and give him better footing on what his next steps were. Somehow he had convinced Leliana that studying the rift up close was important, important enough for her to bring it up to the Seeker. Solas requested a few soldiers and himself to find a nearby rift to study up close. If it weren’t for Leliana’s persistence, Solas feared there would be no way in swaying Cassandra.

Varric Tethras, a child of stone, was another one of Cassandra’s prisoners. Though he was not chained up in the Chantry dungeons like the elven woman. From what Solas gathered on their brief meetings with one another, Varric had information that the Seeker wanted him to speak about at the Conclave. With the Conclave destroyed, his involvement was no longer necessary. He stayed anyway. Solas and the dwarf only met a handful of times since he arrived at Haven and they developed some familiarity with one another - mostly at the insistence of Varric himself. Solas did not mind him at all. The dwarf was significantly more pleasant than any of the humans he interacted with up to that point but there was something about how the man looked at everyone - like he could absorb their secrets and Solas had plenty of those he wanted to hide.

The elf and the dwarf stood outside of Leliana’s tent, mirroring each other as they folded their arms across their chests. Inside the tent they could hear Cassandra and Leliana speaking heatedly, whispers about what to do next. “They fighting over you, Chuckles?” Varric breaking the silence with his attempt at humor, glancing up towards Solas before his attention returned to the tent. Solas’ lips quirked at the edge, “Not in the way you are hoping, Master Tethras.” Varric blanched, looking at Solas in surprise. A wide smile dancing across his lips. “Chuckles. Did I just hear you right? You have a sense of humor?” The child of stone could be abrasive, just as stone itself can be, Solas mused but his humor was disarming and he earned the half-smile on Solas’ lips as they spoke, waiting for the final decision.

From the sounds wafting from the tent, Solas was concerned that Leliana was losing. After a few more minutes of angry whispers the two women exited the tent. Cassandra scoffed before stalking back towards the Chantry, presumably to watch the prisoner. The Spymaster made her way towards Solas and Varric, her face betraying that she had won the discussion. “You will be escorted to a rift that has appeared between here and one of our forward camps. You will have a few of my scouts and a Templar with you.” Solas raised an eyebrow slightly. A Templar? He assumed the soldier would be there to protect others from him and not to protect him. He was in no real position to argue and he had gotten the majority of what he wanted from the exchange. Besides, if he were honest with himself he was faster than a Templar even in his somewhat weakened state so if he did need to flee for any reason he would be gone before anyone noticed. “And a dwarf!” Varric announced besides him, patting the crossbow that sat at his shoulder with his hand. Leliana did not seem to care or hear as she did not argue with the addition to the party. Eventually the Spymaster turned to follow Cassandra back to the Chantry and Solas and Varric were left to prepare for their departure.

- - -

It took little time for Solas and Varric to ready themselves and they found their entourage just outside of Haven’s gates. Just as Leliana had promised, there were a small number of scouts and a single Templar. Solas could feel the weight of the Templar’s gaze on him from behind his helm anytime he moved, so the elf opted to keep his movements minimal when possible. Did not want the soldier to get nervous for no reason and end up with a sword in his back.

Once they set off the trek to the small rift was uneventful. The whirling Breach in the sky was oppressive and the majority of the group did not speak during their journey at all. Even the scouts gave Solas a wide berth, though that did not surprise him at all. Varric on the other hand seemed pleased enough at being outside of Haven to try and strike up conversation with the scouts, once again disarming those around him with his charm and wit. Solas was impressed by the dwarfs’ ability to ease the tension and was silently thankful for it. Even the Templar’s body language relaxed.

As they approached the rift, demons and other horrors began to crawl through the opening into their world. First seeing sharp claws tearing at the edges of the rift. The group dispatched the small group of demons with ease. Approaching the rift slowly, he could feel the undeniable pull of the Fade. The feeling was like being home. He had enough time to raise his hand, pushing and pulling at the magic that swirled around the rift in the Veil until pools of green appeared on the ground around them, sparking demons and horrors to crawl through to their side once again. At least today would not be boring.

[homunculus-argument]

Intelligence is a nebulous concept that can't be perfectly and exactly measured in numbers or other metrics, but there are things people generally agree as signs of at least some intellect. An ability to learn and employ new knowledge, adapting to new information, being able to notice patterns and correlations between seemingly unrelated things. Being able to adjust one's methods as needed, ability to make deductions and educated guesses based on incomplete data, being able to improvise if necessary.

And look. Don't get me wrong here. But I learned to read on my own when I was five, I literally have no memories of ever not knowing how to read. English is not my first language, I cannot officially call myself bilingual because neither of my parents was a native english speaker. I first picked it up by hearing it on TV. I could already read and speak english when I went into school, and for the rest of it I managed to get decent enough grades purely by improvising that nobody noticed that I literally never did my homework ever before I was 11. Nobody noticed that I have an attention deficit disorder before I was 27.

I learned to play the clarinet, the piano at some point, and though I lost my voice, I used to sing. If you gave me an instrument and played me a tune, I could repeat it playing by the ear. I could even write it down, note by note, if I heard it a few times and remembered it. If you gave me notes of a song I've never heard, I could whistle it from the notes.

I learned enough swedish in school to read the back of a shampoo bottle, but still enough to compare and contrast the nuance differences in the finnish, swedish and english translations of the same notifications at bus stops. I can summarise what is the unifying element between a long list of words with the same prefix or suffix, and name their mutual definition. I remember enough of the french I learned in school and spanish I learned on my own to roughly parse together portugese.

My parents met in university, but while I never made it to college, I've still made myself a career in something I never went to school for. I have no higher education in arts past high school art classes. I am a full-time professional in something I taught myself, working with a script I also wrote myself without any guidance past brief googling.

That being said, I can't read an analog clock. I've learned how to do a lot of things in my life, but that's the one thing I can't fucking do. You can show me a clock face and I won't know what it means. If I can't look at my phone and there's nothing with a digital clock available, I've learned tricks on how to get people to tell me the time without admitting that I can't read it. Like asking someone if they think the clock on the wall is on time, prompting them to look at their own clock and tell me what their clock says. Pointedly looking at the clock and remarking to people that We Have Plenty Of Time, and assessing from their reactions whether that is true or if I was sarcastic. I never learned to read a clock face, but I've learned plenty of ways to get people to read it to me.

And every single time I tell people I can't read a clock face, they start trying to explain it to me. Like look. I'm 29. You do not know any method to explain it that I would never have encountered in the past 20 years. None of them sunk. I've tried until I cried and I still can't do it. I could learn to translate poetry from french, how to put together a car engine, or how to skin a llama, but that is the one thing I cannot do. I do not know what the positions of the arrows pointing at numbers mean, and you can't make me.

[an-interview-with-j1janedoe]

" AN INTERVIEW WITH URANIUM CITY'S PRIZED 'WRAITH.' "

(Ignore how the image text & the title text thing are slightly different I'm tired)

Yello, I'm back with another askblog! I didn't want to clog up my other Jane Doe/Penny Askblog.. so you get this! — @watermel0ns-dumb-cringe

[ALL ART USED BELONGS TO ME ; DO NOT REPOST. NSFW/PR0SHIP DNI.]

Format looks like this ⬇️

[⚙️]— "J-1 / Jane Doe."

" .. Must I be required for this? "

☆ RULES —

- No NSFW. Suggestive jokes are fine every now and then, but be wary for the person running this blog is a MINOR.

- Have basic human decency, please. This is an AU blog, being (partially) separate from canon. Ships most likely won't be included- aside from subtle hinting & already canon things. <3

- I'm completely fine with spamming asks just don't spam the same thing over & over.

J-1 doesn't have a larger role in the Target Aquired story yet— but you can read it here if ya want.

☆ IMPORTANT NOTE —

[May contain triggering/sensitive topics & imagery. Examples may include violence, blood/gore, & character death. Posts will have a TW/CW when necessary.]

FAQ under the cut

☆ FAQ —

Q: "What is the Target Aquired AU?"

A: Basic storyline for now is that that Penny Lamb was the only one to die in the Cyclone Roller Coaster Disaster, with the rest of the choir recovering in the hospital. She remains unidentified.

Before her funeral can be held, the unidentified body vanishes from its grave, the remaining alive members of the Saint Cassian Chamber Choir being found dead just after being released from the hospital.

Now having a robotic head, J-1 (Jane) essentially becomes something similar to The Terminator. Minus the time travel shenanigans. Not much is known about her other than the fact of Uranium City's residents slowly being picked off once they unknowingly are selected as a 'target' assigned to kill.

But maybe... Jane wasn't supposed to end up this way. Maybe she wasn't meant to be brought back as a killing machine. After all, a lot can happen when an incomplete 'machine' ends up in the wrong hands.

Nobody knows who she is, seemingly. Neither does she— her memories are gone. Programming blocking her feelings as to not get attached to 'targets,' and to not defy said programming pick those she's assigned to off.

However, J-1 seems.. a tad reluctant on the hunt for her most recent target. Is it rememberance? Is it pity? Or is it something else? Who knows. Her 'target?'

A painly familiar teenager. Perhaps someone she once knew before her death.

I'll leave the rest undiscovered for now. :) (fun fact, this doubles as a fic as well! .. even if it's from the pov of someone else.)

Q: "What are 'Targets?'"

A: Self explanatory. People that J-1 are supposed to hunt down & murder. She tends to leave odd symbols & writing at the scenes of the crimes.

Q: "Where can I read this?/Is there some kind of larger story?"

A: you can find it here! As mentioned earlier. :)

Q: "Who runs this blog?"

A: Yours truly! (@watermel0ns-dumb-cringe)

Q: "Who is he?"

A: ERROR. PLEASE TRY AGAIN LATER.

[⚙️]—

" That's classified information. "

[elodiah]

WIP Wednesday

Because the bot on the discord server told me to, I’ve written another place-holder snippet for my time-loop-themed WIP, derived from an incomplete dot point in my notes. 🤣

Mobius watched on helplessly. Loki remained completely non-responsive, despite being subjected to every feasible external stimulus this past version of himself could conceive of in his increasingly panicked state.

The unyielding rigidity of Loki’s body and his perpetually glazed-over expression were positively haunting.

It carried on for interminable minutes, the urgency and despair escalating until past-him broke down, his head falling forwards to rest in Loki’s lap. Tears soaked into the rough fabric that scraped against Mobius’ cheek with unsettling realism.

A gravelly voice, his-and-yet-not, carried on mumbling in hopeless imploration at the seemingly catatonic Loki; despondent, perhaps, though stubborn to the last.

And then… the unmistakable sensation of fingers in his hair, a gentle hand placed upon his head. Past-him snapped upright with a sharp breath, and Mobius found Loki’s wide eyes staring back at him. Heart-wrenchingly pained, fearful too… but alive.

“Hey you. You okay?”

He was abruptly pulled from the memory, the incongruity of B-15’s voice enough to rouse him. It appeared he’d been sitting motionless through all of this, the coffee poised in his hand likely grown tepid, although miraculously unspilled from Loki’s old cup.

Tagging @kcscribbler , @lokimobius , @loki-is-my-kink-awakening , @in-my-loki-feels , @silentxsymphony , @mirilyawrites , @impulsemuppet , and @thosegayoldmen

[kurtiplier]

LOKI SEASON 2 FINALE SPOILER WARNING

hey. hey wait a second. in mobius' life on the timeline as don, he had a wife. and she's said to be long gone. don also kept bringing up the fact he's single. he's probably lonely. not that he doesn't love and care about his sons, he does, but I think they remind him of his wife and their life together as well, and his kids are young and he doesn't want them to see their dad struggling. maybe it happened fairly recently. don, in fact, seems incomplete and a little discontent still. he enjoys jetskis though. fond memories? a distraction?

and now mobius doesn't have loki around anymore either. he's also long gone. mobius reads his own file...don's file, and then he goes and looks at don's life on the timeline and realizes he had two kids (who are interestingly into fire and snakes), had a wife at one point, and is a jetski salesman. but at the same time...it's not exactly him.

and our mobius doesn't even have any of that. and he can't, and wouldn't take that away from don to live that life himself. and from what we know from a bit of mobius' backstory, he hasn't always had an easy time making hard decisions, and he has a lot of empathy. he's also like, the resident loki expert of the tva. he's fascinated with him. maybe there's a reason. a memory slipping through, like the jetskis. having loki around made the tva feel more like home to mobius. now without him...why would he stay?

I don't think it's impossible that a variant of loki, whether she looked just like the loki we all know or not (doesn't matter being the genderfluid, likely all-pronouns using god that they are), that loki was mobius' wife.

in my opinion, they took a queer love story, and put it through a seemingly hetero lens that the casual audience, and homophobic viewers especially, wouldn't be able to pick up on. I think it was the only way the writers came up with to get a canon confirmation of lokius into the show.

maybe I'm wrong, but that's just my two cents. I just can't imagine they dropped all those clues and symbolism and were vague about things for no reason. well...homophobia and censorship reasons, they had enough issues when they confirmed mcu loki's bisexuality in season 1, but I'll be damned if canon lokius didn't genuinely matter to anyone in that writing room. everything that was written there felt deliberate. it's sad that it has to be queer-coded in a time where so many shows are able to be explicitly queer, but disney/marvel has historically always struggled with showing that, so I can't say I'm very surprised.

I know in my heart that lokius is canon because of that final scene. I just hope that some way, somehow, mobius finds loki again, or at least finds purpose again. he doesn't deserve to be alone, just like loki doesn't. that's all I want to see. that can't be the end. I just want them to be okay. :(

[d1sc01nf3rn0]

So I have a big theory and I don't know where to put it, so here it goes:

The thing that's gonna incarnate in Yuri's stomach isn't Aono. Is the patron god of the village, Kubinashi sama. The dark Aono is the real Aono.

Based on the whole thing with Sota and the school inventory, we know the ghost always come back, because you're not supposed to offer them anything, and as soon as you do they're turned into evil spirits. We also know from the Sota situation, that every time someone comes back, a part of the patron god, with them. In Sota's case, his "friend". The part where Aono says that it isn't Yotsukubi sama, nor a ghost, but at the same it is, shows that the existence of Kubinashi is not something that's fixed. Furthermore, my theory is that Kubinashi sama is feigning being Aono (the "good" one) due to Yuri's agreement.

Think about it. Yuri and Aono were only dating for two weeks, yet Aono seems to be the perfect boyfriend, despite Fujimoto knowing that he only dated Yuri because he felt bad for her, and that he didn't really knew her. My theory is that this Aono is the part of the agreement of Kubinashi with Yuri: it gave her her perfect vision of Aono, so that she would be satisfied with it and never taking back her agreement. This is why this Aono doesn't have complete memories of how he died, or his childhood. Is an incomplete version of Aono. This Aono also evolves with the time. Every time Yuri changes, Aono also changes to satisfy her desires. This is why the normal Aono didn't know about what happened in the aquarium, but as soon as Yuri learned about it, he suddenly was able to.

Dark Aono is the real Aono, which is why he only comes when certain steps are taken. As the boyfriend of Yuri he doesn't want to hurt her and he is technically part of the deal with Kubinashi. Similar to Sota, who is part of the deal, and is seemingly the perfect brother, that is also part of the deal; Kubinashi only brings back the parts of the deceased the one making the contract remembers. The "dark versions" that appear are the real ones that have grudges and can't pass on. This also explains why he wanted her to eat food of the other world, that way if she gets stuck there, her agreement with Kubinashi will be void.

Dark Sota holds a grudge to his mother for "forgetting him", and to his brother for "causing his death". Dark Aono does not hold a grudge to Yuri, but as a dark spirit, both of them have the desire to grow stronger by getting offerings and sacrifices. The reasoning of this is that those things are different; offerings are usually made directly to the deceased, normally on their tombstones or the family altars, sacrifices are made to deities, and can be done anywhere. So far all the offerings have been made directly to Aono (the food, the eyes) which is why only the dark Aono, the real Aono takes them. The normal Aono can't take them, cause he's not real one, thus they aren't his to take. This explains why the normal Aono couldn't enter the storage room, but dark Aono could. This also gives a possibility: normal Aono can't afford to let Yuri know that he's not the real Aono, cause otherwise that would void the agreement. In agreements, the spirit cannot lie, but they can hide things. This is also shown on the agreement to bring back Sota, Hiroto wasn't told that he was gonna come back as an evil spirit. In the same, Yuri wasn't told that Aono was gonna come back as Dark Aono, and to make her less suspicious, Kubinashi decided to disguise itself as the perfect Aono. If Kubinashi has control over all the spirits in the village, then he could keep dark Aono at bay, except when Aono is called directly, cause that's part of the rules. That's also why normal Aono remembers everything Dark Aono does, cause technically, spirits are part of Kubinashi's domain; not enough to control what they do, but enough to know what they do.

So, Yuri sacrificed herself, offered her life in exchange of Aono. Now based on the Kubinashi ritual, we know that every ghost agreement isn't made with the ghosts, but with Kubinashi sama; the ghosts are only part of the exchange. And Kubinashi sama makes use of the sacrifices however they seem fit or convenient. In the kids case it involved a game, but in Yuri's case it involved being reincarnated. We also know ghosts can't really come back, except as well.. ghosts. So that further solidifies that argument.

Part of this theory is that Nozomi's family is a family of ommyoujis. But that due to the times changing, and the lack of sacrifices, they probably left that tradition behind, and thus Nozomi was never really talked about her heritage. This part comes from the fact that Nozomi's grandma seems to know a lot about the village story with Kubinashi, and despite being a ghost she has powers that ghosts otherwise don't have, like taking over Nozomi without her permission, entering her dream, or taking control of the snake in Nozomi's dream. This also comes from her clothing, which are clothes people wear to funerals (the visitors are the ones that wear it, the deceased usually wears white clothes), but black clothes are also associated with the highest rank of Shinto priests.

Furthermore, Nozomi's grandma is effectively Nozomi's shikigami as of now, one out of devotion and not sacrifice. This is why she helping her during her dream was accepted, she is technically an extension of Nozomi.

Another part of why the agreement with Yuri is different, is because they're kids. Yuri is a virgin who's in age of conceiving (the chapter showing her having her period wasn't a coincidence). Ghosts cannot come back, but deities can, given they have a vessel. In this case, Yuri's stomach. The fact that Yuri's family has a history with Kubinashi isn't out of the question, neither. It's is possible that like Nozomi's family, Yuri's family must have a tie to the Kubinashi ritual in some way. If the Kariya family has a tie to sacrifices, it could even possibly explain what happened to Yuri's older brother. Let's not forget that in some traditions you're supposed to sacrifice your first born. This could also explain the situation behind her older brother.

Now I know this is wild but, my theory is that Yuri's parents had to sacrifice his older child, and had Midori hoping she could be sacrifices instead. As per the rules, only the first child was accepted, and they grow to hate Midori because of this. They had Yuri either as an unplanned pregnancy, or in hopes of having a second boy to replace the first one, but it failed. This is also why the first child is never really talked about.

So, not only the Kariya family has something to do with sacrifices, and abnormal virgin pregnancies related to deities; Yuri would inherently be sacrificing her first born by making her birth a god.

So, the theory is this: the village where Yuri lives is controlled by Kubinashi, and her family has a tie to it by doing sacrifices, and Nozomi's family by being priests. Yuri didn't make an agreement with Aono, she made an agreement with Kubinashi to bring back Aono, and now she has to birth Kubinashi, while Aono returned as just a dark spirit.

[internetskiff]

SIGNALIS SPOILERSSS GO PLAY IT GO PLAY IT IT'S THE BEST SURVIVAL HORROR GAME I'VE EXPERIENCED ... ... ... ... ... ...

I've immediately begun a second playthrough after my first blind one and I've realized something that's probably extremely obvious in hindsight but

technically this is the moment Adler lets it slip that he knows about the loop. He's asked Elster for the picture before she even revealed she had it. He's quite an interesting character to me since it seems like he's the only one who's both aware of the loop and not going insane, or, well, going insane in a different way. Every other Replika's either turned mindless or obsessive but he's still trying to make sense of the loop, and even seemingly trying to maintain it.

Maybe my view of the story is still incomplete since I found out there's more to the game I've yet to see (so far I've only gotten the 'Memory' ending), but what would happen if the loop breaks? Why is Adler so afraid of it? If this is a dream reality, is he afraid that the moment Ariane wakes Sierpinski gets erased from existence? Or, at the very least, this extremely warped perception of the facility?

Also, there's this moment that I can't stop thinking about. I genuinely can't tell if I just didn't take a look at this key before or if Alina's pass photo changed to make her look wounded like this on the second playthrough. I might've just taken the key and booked it because the EULR enemies creeped me out. I think she and Adler are the only people to ever mention seeing an LSTR at Sierpinski, so I'm wondering if they were both just driven mad by bioresonance or if there really was one at the facility at some point. The way Alina talks about her makes it sound as if she was stationed at the facility for a while. Is she just being bombarded with Ariane's memories? Judging from how she mentions off-handedly about feeling sick and she's covered in that many bandages, I assume she was suffering from the same radiation poisoning-like symptoms as everyone else. Genuinely can't stop thinking about this game's story. It feels like absolutely everything connects in some way. It's so fucking good. Apologies if I got anything wrong from what I've gathered so far, trying to be more thorough when it comes to looking at the finer details on the second playthrough. Playing this game mostly blind was the best decision I made, makes me adore every second of it even more.

[multiplicity-positivity]

Dissociative Amnesia

Our thoughts and experiences, and some resources to learn more.

Hello everyone! We’ve gotten a few asks recently wondering about amnesia in dissociative disorders, so we’ve decided to put this post together. We will cover as much as we can about amnesia, and talk about our experience with it.

What is amnesia?

Amnesia is partial or total memory loss that is more severe than common, every day forgetfulness. People may experience amnesia for a wide variety of reasons, such as experiencing a head or brain injury, being inebriated, having an illness or disease that affects the mind, lack of sleep, and extreme stress/fatigue/brain fog. Amnesia (specifically dissociative amnesia) is a really big part of many dissociative disorders (with the exception being OSDD-1B). In dissociative disorders, alters may experience full amnesia (blackouts) or partial amnesia (greyouts).

What are blackouts?

A blackout is when a person or alter experiences a jump in time, or finds that they cannot recall key events from the past. Their memories may feel fragmented, incomplete, or literally “blacked out.” Coming back from a blackout can be overwhelming, scary, and disorienting.

For us, blackouts look like: seemingly “snapping awake” suddenly with no recollection of what we had been doing. Coming to in odd places, like the grocery store or the park or the library, with no idea how we got there or what led up to that point. Feeling like we are jumping forward in time (it’s Monday today, but I blinked and it’s Thursday now). Large gaps in memory, especially memories from our childhood. Fragments of memories may remain as factual information (EX: “I know we went to the store yesterday, but I don’t remember anything we bought or any of the details”), or there may be no lingering information at all (EX: “I can’t remember what happened yesterday and there’s food I didn’t buy in the fridge”)

What are greyouts?

A greyout is an experience of partial amnesia, and the term covers a broad range of experiences. It may mean that a particular aspect of a memory was forgotten, or that you feel emotionally, physically, or otherwise detached from a memory. The memory may exist, but it feels hazy or incomplete when you try to recall it.

For us, greyouts look like: feeling emotionally or physically detached from memories. Able to recall the past but it seems shaky, foggy, hazy or unclear. Retaining some details in memories but not others. Memories feel like a film, or like something that we heard about in a story, but not something that actually happened to us.

How can I tell the difference?

Telling the difference between blackouts and greyouts can be quite tricky! In general, for our system, if we’re able to recall events with some clarity, there isn’t any amnesia. If we can recall only pieces, or feel like the memory isn’t ours at all, it’s a greyout. If our mind is just blank regarding a certain memory, or we can only recall what others have told us, rather than the events themselves, it’s a blackout.

Can I experience amnesia without knowing it?

Yes, and we actually thought we had a pretty good memory before learning about our dissociative disorder and the amnesia that comes along with it! This is because our mind tends to fill in the gaps that it can’t explain or understand. These pseudomemories, or projections, led us to believe our memory was healthy and normal. We’ve since learned that many of the memories we took for granted were just projections from our brain trying to fill in gaps and help us function to the best of our ability. It’s something we had been oblivious to for decades, but at this point we are very aware of how unstable and unreliable our memory is. It is a part of having a dissociative disorder!

Can dissociative amnesia heal/Can my memory improve if I have amnesia?

We think so, yes! Our therapist has assured us that memory can be repaired and healed with treatment and time. Patience and self-compassion can both aid in this process! We ourselves are trying to heal, and our hope is that as our system becomes more integrated, we will be able to recall more memories and recover details as a result. It is a difficult process though, and one that we are actively pursuing through therapy! Some may be able to heal their dissociative amnesia without therapy, but for us, having outside help and a support team is essential to our healing journey.

Sources/Links to Learn More:

Please feel free to reach out to us if you have any further questions, or to share corrections or concerns! Thank you so much for reading, and have a great day!

(Image ID:) A pale orange userbox with a cluster of multicolored flowers for the userbox image. The border and text are both dark orange, and the text reads “all plurals can interact with this post!” (End ID.)

[dailycharacteroption]

Races Among the Stars 9: Samsaran

We’ve covered samsarans before on the blog in their First Edition Pathfinder form, but much like the perpetually reincarnating people, things have come full-circle with us covering their Starfinder version (at least until we start doing 2nd Edition ancestries and the upcoming Starfinder 2E’s take on them, again, paralleling the endless loop of reincarnation)

But this also closes the loop in a different way as well, as this is the last of the Pathfinder throwbacks that were introduced to the game in Starfinder Alien Character Deck, which was little more than useful flash cards for remembering the traits of various species, either for forgetful players or perhaps more usefully as a way to help a GM quickly switch out the species of pre-generated statblocks on the fly.

Either way, all of those aforementioned species also got reprinted in both Interstellar Species and in Starfinder Enhanced, adding some actual lore to how those species actually fit into the galaxy of the far future, which is nice. (Does anyone remember when the general consensus for where kobolds were was “They all vanished/died with Golarion”? Easily the most boring possible answer and I’m glad they quashed that with some interesting if borderline retcon meta-joke new lore.

Buuuut we’re getting of topic, let’s talk about samsarans!

True to their name, which is based on the concept of the endless cycle of life, death, and rebirth in Hindu and Buddhist traditions, samsarans were a clade of humans born into a cycle of constant reincarnation, often starting out born as ordinary humans to samsaran parents that give them up to normal human adoptive parents, only for them to reincarnate as samsarans the first time they die, and so on and so forth.

Unlike other species and souls that choose reincarnation in the afterlife, samsarans retain a lof of memories from their past lives, though they are often hazy and incomplete, like vivid dreams to their new incarnation. Even with such gaps, however, that knowledge gives them access to information and skills they wouldn’t normally possess, and helps them infer who they used to be, and how to incorporate the wisdom gleaned from those memories into their daily lives and towards a greater state of enlightenment in preparation for the next life. (Which, ironically, is kinda the opposite of what one normally WANTS to do when one subscribes to the idea of the real-life idea of samsara, but that’s neither here nor there).

Now, you may have noticed that earlier I described that samsarans “were” a clade of humans. That wasn’t a slip of the keyboard on my part, because now that samsarans are no longer bound necessarily to one specific world, their pact with Pharasma has changed slightly. Now, samsarans can be born on any world… and to any sapient species, though without homebrewing, these rare non-human samsarans have the same statistics as others of their kind, though with homebrew, well, that just opens up all sorts of new doors, doesn’t it?

Samsarans, unsurprisingly, appear to be humans (or members of their parent species) with pale skin and hair in shades of white, blue, or purple, as well as clear blood and seemingly pupilless eyes.

While there were once enclaves of samsarans that used divination to locate newly-reborn samsarans and bring them into the fold, such things are much more rare now in a far future where one’s already-rare species is spread out across the galaxy. As such, modern samsarans are more likely to simply adopt their parent culture, though samsaran culture still exists in the form of writings and recordings, both publicly available and hidden away that the young can seek out for guidance and a sense of cultural identity with the rest of their kind.

Of course, the advent of multimedia and VI means that this can also be rather disconcerting. Imagine if your past self created a VI or even AI simulacrum of themselves and hid it away for a future reincarnation. Imagine meeting someone that is both you and also not you and the same time. Probably would take a bit to get used to, though on the other hand, Vlogs and extensive digital memoirs from a past can help a young samsaran better connect with those memories, and possibly go about continuing the goals of their past self, which some samsarans do.

Samsarans bear the wisdom and cunning of multiple past lives, but their bodies are somewhat frail (probably all that lack of hemoglobin).

However, they are especially resilient to magical and supernatural effects that target their lifeforce directly, and they’re surprisingly good at bouncing back from injury and disease even if the initial infection tends to knock them on rears.

Their curious eyes also also surprisingly good at absorbing light in dark conditions, letting them see better in limited light.

Samsarans also have a bit of inherent magic, able to breach language barrier one-way, stabilize the dying, and share their memories with others.

Additionally, their memories from past lives include some practical skills as well, though the exact specifics vary between individuals, as their old souls latch onto different things from their past lives.

Much like the thyrs of yesterday’s entry, samsarans are well-equipped for a myriad of smart-guy classes and builds, with mystics being a natural fit due to their half-divine, half-occult schtick meshing well with samsarans theme-wise. However, technomancers, mechanics, biohackers, skill-based envoyed and operatives are also good picks. Precog and witchwarper also share some lovely themes with samsarans with their focus on possible paths in life and such. Meanwhile, like thyrs, they also struggle a bit with melee combat, though for different reasons, since it’s constitution they lack instead of strength. As such, combat-oriented samsarans prefer ranged soldiers, solarians, and evolutionists, while nanocytes and vanguards are a bit of a harder sell, albeit not impossible. Despite their frailty, samsarans can do a lot to overcome that weakness and be very effective no matter what class they choose to take.

And that does it for this week! Tune in Monday for another week of archetypes and character options!

[muddyorbsblr]

relinquish the crown: locked away | 2

Series Masterlist See my full list of works here!

Placement: before the main story; during 'atonement or debasement'

Summary: You try something new to break through the memory barrier

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Word Count: 735

Warnings: themes of incest (he's adopted but still); slight mention of a spicy dream from 'to covet her'

Things to be aware of: first person POV

The entire time that this charlatan Prince Damien was trying to convince this incomplete, lapsed version of myself that he was this man reformed, I grew more and more frustrated as the moments passed. Pounding away at the barrier with the tomes I had on my side. The ones that contained my memories of loving Loki.

If Father could see me now trying to quite literally punch my way out, I wonder…would he be proud? Or would he wish to keep me locked away like this once he knew what I was trying to fight my way back to?

Should I even keep trying, knowing the uncertainty that faced us if I somehow found my way back to Loki and broke this curse? Knowing that we would most likely never know peace the moment I would tell him that I loved him back?

What if we were to be exiled for our licentiousness and he would grow to resent me? What if we were to be forced to marry other people as Odin's punishment for our blatant disregard for common decency? What if they all forced me to marry this Damien with the wandering eye even as we made our way to the kitchens? He hadn't even finished with apologizing to the women he disgraced when last he was here, and already he was keeping a mental tally of the ones he'd yet to be acquainted with.

I'd only realized how tired I'd grown from fighting against the barrier to break through and finally reunite with the rest of me the moment my body walked into that little area in the kitchens and caught sight of Loki, those butterflies erupting in my stomach as if it were clockwork when he smirked at the sound of my voice.

It was only toward the end of my conversation with him that I'd begun to pay attention to what was happening around me, opting instead to look through the tome that I'd been holding in my hand and beating away at the barrier with. Most of the memories came from the first day of the Autumnal Equinox festival. From the dream I had about him pleasuring me in our little corner in the library until that moment up on stage where I sang with him and we tapped messages into each other's hand of how we loved each other.

What an imbecile I was to not have realized back then that he'd meant it as more.

It was in thumbing through these pages that a thought crossed my mind. That perhaps the tomes couldn't break through the barrier, but perhaps a page from the tomes could somehow bleed through, bit by bit…glimpse by glimpse.

And those glimpses could compound into full memories until the barrier weakened significantly enough that I could finally break through.

I could finally be with him.

I tried with the memory of my dream with us in the library first, but the pages wouldn't budge. As if they couldn't be torn no matter which way I tried to rip it. So I tried next with something fleeting. Something seemingly mundane. Something that could be triggered the moment he pulled my body back into his arms and he wiped away at a crumb from the corner of my mouth.

The memory of him making sure that I'd eaten before the school concert that day.

The page tore away from the tome with no resistance, and for the first time in weeks, I felt relief flooding my system when the page so easily slid under the barrier, and suddenly the rest of the library of my mind was awash with light, my other self's vision being overtaken by that memory for a fleeting moment before the page burned away on the other side of the barrier, materializing once more in the tome, as if it had never been torn away in the first place.

And now couldn't be torn away again.

"Must have just been my imagination," I heard my other self say, trying to rationalize what she'd just seen.

The look on Loki's face made it so apparent that he doubted those words, that he probably suspected another headache. He would be right. If only he knew that it was me. That I was causing each and every one of those aches.

That I was quite literally forcing my other self to ache for him.

A/N: It really was a memory y'all saw at the end of 'atonement or debasement' and sadly the spell learns how to fortify against her ideas faster than she can actually see if anything will come from those ideas 🥲

‘everything’ taglist: @sailorholly @loopsisloops @unlucky-number-13 @imalovernotahater @coldnique @loz-3 @huntress-artemiss @salempoe @vickie5446 @athalialaufeyson @lokiprompts @sarahscribbles @kats72 @kikster606 @evelyn-kingsley @lokixryss @thomase1 @mischief2sarawr @peaches1958 @lovingchoices14 @goblingirlsarah @iamlokisgloriouspurpose @creationsbyme @maple-seed @mjsthrillernp @ladyofthestayingpower @mygfloki @sititran @glitterylokislut @ozymdias @fictive-sl0th @lovelysizzlingbluebird @lokidbadguy @mochie85 @silverfire475 @joyful-enchantress @dangertoozmanykids101 @elizabethmidnight2017 @lokidokieokie @lunarnights95 @superficialdomina

Loki taglist: @calumance @severuslovebot @moonlightreader649 @i-stand-with-loki @nixymarvelkins @infinitystoner @lokisgoodgirl @purplegrrl27 @thedistractedagglomeration

[undertale-fic-librarby]

reverse harem fics with a non-human reader?

Howdy, thanks for asking! Here are some fics that might fit what you're looking for!

The Sacrificial Skeleton and the Labyrinth of Gods by this_is_my_alt (Explicit, Incomplete)

As a necromancer, you’re used to suspicious stares and whispers of heresy from the townsfolk. It only gets worse after you’re killed and walk Ebott Empire as an undead skeleton. When you hear rumors of a strange settlement that worships the undead, it’s too tempting to resist. The locals treat you better than you’ve ever been treated. That is, right until the moment where you’re dressed up and tied to an altar as a sacrificial bride for their skeleton gods. Despite their advanced technology and magical prowess, you’re doubtful of their divinity. What kind of gods blush whenever they see a bit of bone?

Ghost Love (Probably Discontinued) by RedRoseofDestruction (Teen And Up, Incomplete)

When Crooks finds seemingly an abandoned Estate in the middle of woods near his cabin that he shares with alternate selves of him and his brother, he's intrigued. At the same time Lady (Y/N) Blumwell was living her life as a vengeful ghost. When the two unusual souls manage to form a friendship, (Y/N) thinks that perhaps her afterlife isn't as boring as it was before. And what will happen when gracious Lady (Y/N) is once again introduced to the world outside the glamorous yet haunted Estate? (Probably discontinued because I can't for the life of me write 3rd POV anymore and all my notes about this fics are in my old laptop that's screen doesn't work anymore. Also, I'm not really in UT fandom anymore- OFC could always try to change it to 2nd POV but that would take forever and idk if I still would want to continue this fic. I got kinda annoyed when someone pointed put I use (h/c), (e/c) too often and it kinda sucked all the joy out of writing thid fic. I've improved alot while writing 2nd POV tho, ngl.)

A Cursed Rat and Some Monsters by denzelfire (Teen And Up, Incomplete)

One day you woke up in a body that is not your own with no memories of what happened before. You somehow ended up in a bar and met a few weird looking things that call themselves monsters. The weird fire one takes you in and you met a lot on interesting people- or well skeletons and other fire beings? God you wished you had your memories and a body that isn't 15 or so inches long. At least this fire one lets you stick around. A/N: Major character death is not any of the undertale characters but OCs in the readers past who are major players.

Little Skeleton on the Prairie by Blue_Leadin_Pencil (Mature, Incomplete)

Y/N is a skeleton who lives with her father and brothers on a farm in the middle of a prairie town based sometime in an alternate war time for monsters. She isn’t a push over. Her job is to hunt and kill ‘sick’ (rabid) animals and keep her farm safe, amidst her father renting the farm land out to the skeleton army who was now stationed to protect their agricultural hub from being invaded by the enemy. If that wasn’t enough, the reader has to deal with her father picking out her mates and sending her away. Did we mention that they are all baras?

Bonely Roses by lavenderpetals, lavenderpetals13651 (Teen And Up, Incomplete)

Life had always served you lemons. You had the an terrible childhood, to being bullied mercilessly all the way throughout college, to taking out loans for a car and college. You thought when you landed a sweet office job out of college your luck was turning up. It was just your luck to die before getting your favorite food. Well at least you can be at rest right and not have to pay that 26k back in loans right? Well lady luck has other plans for you, because great news you're a revival now! For anyone new this is a voter fic. So you comment on the newest chapters to influence the story. I'm back to updating consistentlyish I'm currently working on editing ALL the chapters while writing new ones

[kitkatopinions]

Watched the rwby season 9 finale and I gotta say

Rwby criticism and spoilers beneath the keep reading as well as discussions of attempted suicide

First let's talk about Ruby's 'ascension.' We see Ruby see a memory of Summer sneaking off on her last mission with Raven, a mission that she lied to Tai about saying it was just a run of the mill Ozpin mission. Ruby is distraught by this, taking issue with her lying and sneaking around with Raven, and expresses anger and then when the blacksmith is like "maybe she had a lot of weight on her shoulders" Ruby is like "so does that mean I should just give up" and then she remembers the words of the mom she seems to barely remember saying "I love you just the way you are" And that drives her to pick herself and she comes back as herself, with her memories somehow completely intact and taking on no physical change at all. Is it explained why she's the only person who ascends who doesn't lose her memories or take on a physical change? No, not really. When she appears as herself again, Jaune says "she knew what she needed to be all along" which isn't true because she actually just spent an entire wanting to not be her, which just makes it seem like Jaune is ignoring all of the problems Ruby had in favor of pretending she's perfect. Then the Cat calls Ruby incomplete, broken, weak, and confused, and Weiss is like "You're wrong," but doesn't elaborate so it feels kind of empty tbh, then Yang says "she's never been any of those things," and I've just gotta say that after Ruby spent the entire volume in a depressed spiral being confused it feels really hero-worshippy putting Ruby on a pedestal of unhealthy standards and not noticing her feelings or turmoil or struggles for Yang to just be just be like 'my sister has never experienced confusion a day in her life.' And Blake says that Ruby's lack of weakness, confusion, brokenness, and incompleteness is the reason why they follow her, and call me crazy but that also seems to put crazy high expectations of perfection on Ruby that her team refuses to believe she's ever weak or confused and therefore rely on her as a leader when she just went off about not wanting to be a leader and not being able to meet their expectations.

Like, did they learn absolutely nothing? Also everyone and their brother was talking about how Ruby was going to shed the markers of Summer Rose and come into her own, but actually, no, if the close up on Ruby's emblem is any indication, they're just leaning into her having seemingly built herself on the example of Summer. Which... I feel like it's bad, I feel like if this arc was supposed to be about Ruby's growth and we're meant to think that she took a lot of inspiration from Summer in her life, that she should've grown more into her own person. Also I'm just gonna say that I think it was such a big mistake to make 'Ascension' so reliant on themes of death and suicide. I get that they were trying to do a heart-warming message about how you should choose yourself because you're enough, but first off, the messaging is so messed up when you consider how it frames 'trying to destroy yourself' as something that is either a generally good thing in the end or not permanent and something that you can come back from. Either the writers should have gone out of their way to make the purpose of Ascension clear prior to seeing anyone we know ascend and have it be something Ruby (and Little, Neo, etc) choose on their own fully aware of what it means and not through means outside of things like getting murdered, being manipulated into drinking poison, or jumping off a high thing Javert style.... Or they should've had it be something that nobody really knew about and still have Ruby and Neo not essentially try to kill themselves to get there. I literally do not care that we're 'meant to see the tree/tea like therapy uwu' because it was so badly done that the actual result is that if I'd seen this when I was fourteen or fifteen it would've hurt me pretty badly.

Next complaint! Ohhh my girl Neo. I am so so sorry. In case anyone's playing catch-up, Neo has existed since volume 2 and ever since, people have been clamoring for more from her and have wanted to see some focus put on her, especially after her return in volume 6 where fans (like me) were disappointed to see her playing sidekick to Cinder (especially since the only reason she wasn't targeting Cinder anymore was because the writers were making her act stupid for their plot) and kept talking about how much the writers could do with her. She kept playing second fiddle to Cinder with no focus from her return to all through V8, but then she was dropped into the ninth season which was supposedly character-growth focused! Although dropping anyone away from the main plot was a bad idea imo, I was still excited because I was sure it meant that Neo would get focus and be the main threat for the volume and we could see her come into her own and get fleshed out outside of 'wanting revenge' and 'Roman.' Aaaaaaand what did MKEK do??? They benched her for the better part of the season, had her the central focus of one scene that was written to highlight other characters being dead - proven by the fact that the characters said things Neo could have no idea about which meant the writers weren't focused on Neo and were instead focused on what would get emotional responses from Ruby/the audience. And then they had her get taken over by the Cat! And the Cat became the main antagonist for the season! Using Neo's body and speaking through her mouth (Neo is one of many disabled villains and the only mute character,) but leaving Neo completely absent again! And then Neo basically Javerts herself into tree-land with a vague idea that possibly she could eventually come back (if the authors were desperate for views) but is essentially dead to the plot now. As a fan of Neo, that's literally the dumbest most useless bad thing they could've done!

As for the Cat, the existence of it was gone into in the last second lore dump, and bro. They kind of imply that the Cat had no choice but to be evil, after Alyx's betrayal, and that it was not only good before then, but had spent like ages lovingly taking care of everyone in the Ever After, and so..... Am I supposed to feel happy that the Cat died? Am I supposed to dislike the Cat? Frankly, that's yet another life that just got fucked up by the Brother gods, and still no one in the cast of main rwby characters has talked about how horrible they are, and even the show itself seems to not fully acknowledge that they're responsible for so many problems. Anyway, despite their desire to make the Cat the big villain of the volume, I just wound up being upset that it got killed off just like that and nobody even questioned the morality of the situation.

Also just as a side note, who the fuck decided that what Rwby really needed was a backstory for the backstory for Remnant's existence? Who wanted that? What are they gonna do now, find out that the Tree was actually created by an even older god who came from an even weirder place?

Also about Jaune, I hate it. What was the point of making Jaune an old man? What was done that couldn't have been done through other better means that didn't put him in central focus? He's just back to how he was, just with Extra Special angst and as an Extra Special person who now has more experience than the rest of Team RWBY somehow and got to experience Weiss lusting after him. He is such an author's pet, I honestly wish he was dead. I'm gonna have to see him for several more volumes, aren't I?

My last complaint for this post (I have more to say, I just know this post is getting long so I'm saving two big complaints for later,) is that Little (now known as Somewhat or something) is someone I did not care about AT ALL and in fact I hated them, so the very forced Ascended Little running in and talking to Ruby and now being a giant rat that calls Ruby a Huntress for some reason (because she needs her position as a badge-carrying law enforcement officer to be affirmed and who better than the thing that has no clue what the fuck they're talking about)... It just served to make me annoyed. The entire volume would be improved by Little not being there at all.

Anyway, that volume was a fantastic waste of my time and the only good things that came out of it were ruined. We've now left the Land of the Hand of the Author and forced 'growth' that doesn't actually get the characters anywhere, and we've now entered the Hiatus heading to the next volume in a potential time skip.