#it really makes me mad

[kitskiis]

He keeps doing this I’m gonna cry

[angstandhappiness]

Yup

TW//: Abusive relationships

I'm in awe of the lack of thinking in the Helluva Boss fandom after s2:e1 was released. Like how absorbed in your Stella headcanons do you have to be to think she's the victim? She really isn't and the episode isn't a retcon.

I've seen so many people saying Stolas' and Stella's bad relationship is Stolas' fault, that Viv is trying to make him seem like the victim, that Stella was hurt that Stolas cheated on her, that Viv is misogynistic for noting the completely asinine (sarcasm) insinuation that all people, women included, are capable of being abusers.

Go back to s1:e2 (Looloo Land) where Octavia is woken up by Stella's yelling. Stella calls Stolas an embarrassment and a plebeian for wanting to meet with Blitzo in a motel.

Stolas: "It was unexpected! We didn't have time to go to a motel!"

Stella: "A MOTEL?! LIKE A FUCKING PLEBEIAN?!"

She's not mad she was cheated on. She's mad that he dared to associate with an imp, the lowest status of demon, because she only cares about her status as an elite. I honestly thought that was kind of obvious!

And then people bring up the end of the episode (s1:e2) where Octavia cries that she misses the time her parents "didn't hate each other". Did nobody realize that Octavia doesn't know the full story, that Stolas has been trying his best to keep Stella happy so Octavia can live a normal (albeit privileged) life? This is typically what a child's perspective is on their parents fighting. And even then, when Stolas tries to console her, he has to keep stopping himself from revealing that he and Stella weren't ever in love with each other.

I have to ask if something happened to people understanding subtlety and if people only look at things with surface value now. So many people preach about "show don't tell" but glance over the subtleties and implications in a story. I feel like Viv kind of had to spell things out in 'The Circus' because so few people got what I thought were obvious implications of Stella abusing Stolas only because of her ego due to her royal status.

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

the high guards littlest fan

[ilynpilled]

not the first person to say this but the main thing for female villains when it comes to thriving to make them more multifaceted and dimensional and empathetic for an audience being “but she loved her children… but she wouldve done everything for her children…” drives me up the fucking wall. the men do not get this same treatment at all. there is so fucking much other shit you can do to make these characters sympathetic

[bumblebeebats]

As much as i love Dungeon Meshi, i do think that given Ryoko Kui's attention to realistic worldbuilding there ought to be a companion series called Dishes Meshi where they spend 2hrs washing and drying and packing away. Alll the goddamnfuck dishes they just made

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[amourningcrow]

My artbook just arrived and what do you mean they could have looked like this?? Who looked at these designs and thought: No wait, I have a better idea :)

WHO WAS IT?? COME HERE I JUST WANNA TALK

[shepscapades]

Your highness… I don’t feel so good

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Happy Birthday to Fallen London; My favourite British people beefing it with bats simulator.

[daffi-990]

Seeing comments on Facebook like “Buck was always a ladies man” or “he’s never shown any interest in guys before” is why this story arc is so important.

Bisexual people exist and so often get dismissed or told to pick a side or that they just can’t commit to being gay or some other shit.

Just because you show a preference to one gender doesn’t mean you can’t be attracted to another.

And you don’t have to have your sexuality figured out at a certain age! It’s fluid! It changes! You could not discover something about yourself until you are away from toxic noise and finally are in a place where you feel safe.

I’m just .. I’m so thankful for Oliver and Tim and how they’re wanting to tell this story.

Especially Oliver.

He loves Buck so much and he sees the bi community and he wants to give them the best representation he can.

*sighs*

just yeah .. this story arc is important and Oliver is cradling it so gently in his hands because he knows how precious it is

[gingerswagfreckles]

Btw if you blatantly lie about Israel or the war in Gaza and someone calls you out for lying they are not in fact "defending Israel" they are calling you out for spreading mis or disinformation. In case that wasn't clear.

[xxplastic-cubexx]

apocalypse doodlings aka We Couldve Had Grey Hair Erik And Charles Is There Too I Guess

[bacchuschucklefuck]

space sweepers but they're delivery people and are at no point on screen through the entire movie

[fridgrave2-0]

hehe ghost-turbo haunting felix au

turbo is connected to the last piece of his code in the whole arcade - a trophy he gifted to felix in mid 80s as a symbol of him genuinely caring about their relationships on par with being the best racer. felix also gave him one of his medals and both kept their gifts next to other rewards, but when roadblasters and turbotime were unplugged, the medal was gone with everything else

now, after burning in cola-lava turbo is basically dead, but scraps of his code still were intertwined with the trophy (after all, it was his first winner's cup, but felix never knew about it), giving turbo an opportunity to exist as a shadow incapable of interacting with anything and anyone besides felix, who kept the trophy even after the roadblasters incident

also I went crazy in tags, feel free to check them out

[bietrofastimoff23]

the funny thing is that aegon, bedridden, is still more successful at making friends than aemond.

[randomfandomss]

+Bonus ✨️