#is turning into obsession about subtext again

[inevitably-ineffable-husbands]

Crowley's Bentley = Crowley's Heart?

Putting on them clown damned shoes again, y'all. Had a thought last night while typing out today's additions to my GO S2 Meta...

Is Crowley's Bentley supposed to be a metaphor for his heart?

THINK ABOUT IT:

In Season 1:

The Bentley survives the fire because Crowley believes with all his heart that he and the car will make it to save Aziraphale.

Crowley drives fast because his love for Azzie makes his heart race.

Speaking of driving too fast, when Aziraphale say's "you drive too fast for me Crowley", subtextually he means "your heart moves too fast for me, I'm not ready for you".

In Season 2:

Crowley's houseplants (the only things he supposedly loves) are in his Bentley (home is where the heart is??). He didn't have the heart to throw them away, so... he put them in his heart where they will be loved.

Crowley sends Aziraphale away from the bookshop to protect him from the threat of Heaven, and the safest place he knows is (his heart) The Bentley, which will take care of Azzie. He literally locks Azzie away in his heart to keep Azzie safe and sheltered away from everyone.

Crowley can feel everything happening in and around the Bentley. He knows when his heart slowed down because he wasn't worried about Aziraphale anymore; his heart desires to please Aziraphale and make him happy by driving slow, playing music Aziraphale loves, offering him sweets, and being painted yellow like Crowley's eyes. Crowley only threatens because he's worried Aziraphale will find out that he loves him if the Bentley keeps up with being adoring to Aziraphale. GUYS I THINK WE'RE GOING TO GET A DOTING-HUSBAND-CROWLEY is what I'm getting at, here.

That said, the Bentley ADORES Aziraphale, trying to follow him and keep him safe. And immediately does what Aziraphale asks, just like Crowley usually does.

At the end of S2E6, the Bentley plays the music Crowley is thinking about immediately after their spat and his failed confession, then shuts it off angrily because he’s heart broken... so he “breaks the (love) song” by shutting it off and out of his heart.

BASICALLY what I'm saying is that in the 90 or so years he's owned the Bentley is when he truly realized he was IN LOVE with Aziraphale and poured all that love into the Bentley instead to compensate.

Shax even says to Aziraphale in S2E4:

"Sometime, in the last 80 or 90 years, I remember hearing that you and Crowley were an item."

Very specific numbers, mentioned TO the love interest inside of the damned Heart itself, isn't it? And we know Shax can read into people's hearts (she does it numerous times in the season, specifically with the Crowley mirror, Maggie, in S2E5 and again to Aziraphale in S2E6, revealing more about Crowley and Azzie).

I reckon there's a LOT more, but like... DAMN this feels like Phones and Hearts all over again. I'm not sure if this makes the Bookshop Azzie's heart (right now I'm thinking MAYBE??), but that's something else to explore after another rewatch. That would mean, if the Bookshop was Azzie's heart, that he realized a LOT longer ago than Crowley he loved him. Hmm.

Let me know what y'all think! <3

[neyafromfrance95]

"if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you."

oh and gaze back into her he does.

when the abyss she has gazed into with hatred for so long gazes back into her with love, what does that say about the complex depths of her own identity and feelings?

galadriel basically wills sauron into life after she turns her back on heaven for him, and then she calls for him to bind himself to her.

and bind her to himself he does. over and over again. just like she has devoted herself to slaying the darkness of him, he now covets to own the light of hers he worships. her obsession became his yearning. they were already bound cosmically, by the sea and by nenya, by connection they share. but it was not enough, he intended to merge their beings, to become intrinsic parts of each other. so he binds her by the blood in an act that is disturbingly erotic, a symbolically sexual act, as it is consummated through violent penetration. he opens her up and slithers in, consuming her.

and there are dimensions to this. sauron still wants her to give herself to him willingly when he asks for nenya. this is his ultimate goal, he is desperate for her to let him "heal" her, to the point he is brought to tears. pain -> reward is his love language, and i'd say he hates hurting her while she refuses his gifts, and yet he still gives them to her in the form of binding her to himself, his darkness, and most likely to her greatest desire - power.

galadriel is metaphorically ravished and reborn, she is both killed by sauron and birthed by him into something new, his mirror, drowned witch thirsty for power. the symbol of their bond both on her finger and just above her heart - his eye, always with her, perceiving her.

now they are bound for all eternity, and those indeed are the seeds galadriel herself has planted.

all of this is of course a metaphor, a narrative device. as sexual subtext is an effective tool of storytelling, a tangible way of showing galadriel's complex relationship with the darkness, ambition and power. and on a more metaphysical scale, a metaphor for an eternal push and pull of the dark and the light, for the intertwined nature of these concepts.

[rin-solo]

I love. LOVE. Get In the Water

It's one of the objectively best songs in the musical; I will die on this hill.

Poseidon was always, despite being pretty much the main antagonist of EPIC, a really underdeveloped character in my opinion. He just needed a little more nuance, and the fact that one (+ kind of one more) song managed to add so much to his characterization pretty much exclusively through subtext and implications is incredibly impressive writing. Because it did!

At the start, he's yet again playing games with Odysseus, the way he did in Ruthlessness. In both songs, he could kill him easily at any point, yet he chooses not to for the sake of playing games. In Ruthlessness, this becomes his own hubris as it leads to Odysseus escaping.

If you listen closely, at the start of GITW he already sounds slightly different. He's still trying to keep up this "God of Ruthlessness" front that he's so proud of, but he's no longer more or less carefree the way he was in Ruthlessness. He's been obsessing over this feud for ten years, and even if he would never admit it, it's actually clear just from his voice that he really is tired of it too. Not in the sense of it emotionally draining him the way it probably does Odysseus, but in the sense that it's a bother, a loose end in his life, a book that he finally wants to slam shut.

But he still has a reputation to uphold, and he still cannot close this book until Odysseus is dead, so he keeps up the game. Instead of just killing him, he's taunting him to kill himself. He might associate the idea of just striking him down with a sort of loss, like then he'd have to get his hands dirty. Then he's rambling about killing his people, his family. He's provoking Odysseus on purpose, likely trying to get him to snap back, to hate and fear him the way that Poseidon would think any mortal who has consumed this much of his time should. In his eyes, Odysseus deserves nothing less than to curse him with his last breath as his "darkest moment," the god who became the bane of his life.

And Odysseus replies, of all things, with ... sympathy.

Honestly, I don't blame Poseidon for being speechless for three full seconds. He literally just threatened to gauge Telemachus' eyes out the way Odysseus did with Polyphemus, and this absolute madlad of a man replies with an acknowledgment that he (might have) caused Poseidon pain too.

Now, I don't really think Poseidon was particularly hurt over Polyphemus' loss, or hurting in any way in that moment (if he were, I highly doubt he'd still be playing games, and he would've mentioned his son as opposed to speaking about his reputation.) But just the fact that Odysseus acknowledges that he might be hurting too is probably something Poseidon hasn't heard in ... who knows how long? His family is the Olympians. I don't think I have to say more.

It's actually more of a genuine apology than Odysseus' explanation in Ruthlessness ... (even though that was also a perfectly fine apology by Greek standards, as far as I'm aware.) Now he doesn't say "sorry" because he's still not sorry for hurting Polyphemus, since he still needed to do that in order to escape. But he expresses regret over the pain he caused in a more genuine way than ever.

I am convinced that Poseidon is utterly unfamiliar with sympathy or mercy. He's lived by his "Ruthlessness is mercy" motto for centuries, and he doesn't know anything else. No one would try to teach him something different. The other gods all live by this logic, even if he's the most vocal about it considering he seems to have made it his whole personality. Mortals wouldn't dare to question Poseidon in the first place. And barely anyone would be willing to treat someone with kindness who is in turn treating everyone around them with ruthlessness.

It's very likely that Poseidon hasn't encountered anyone like this until Odysseus. Ruthlessness is simply how he treats people and also how he expects to be treated back. The fact that Odysseus doesn't, the fact that instead of hating, fearing, or cursing him, he acknowledges that they have both hurt each other and that it doesn't lead anywhere to still pursue vengeance, must have triggered Poseidon in an unprecedented way.

To him, this was probably the most outrageous thing Odysseus could have said in that moment. And it throws him off so much that he is genuinely speechless, and then simply replies, "I can't." ... his most genuine-sounding line in the whole musical.

I cannot stress enough how much it threw me off to hear this line; in the best way imaginable, it doesn't sound like Poseidon. It sounds almost vulnerable. Almost human. Because he is genuinely at a loss so much that he forgets to put up his "wrathful god" facade for just one second. Standing ovation to Steven Rodriguez for his whole performance, but especially this part.

And then Odysseus goes all out to say something even more outrageous: "Maybe you could learn to forgive?"

... Which is when Poseidon snaps.

Kind of understandable, honestly. There's this mortal whom he has likely fantasized about seeing pleading, hate-filled, and terrified, cowering before him for ten years now ... telling him that he ought to learn something. Even hijacking his own motif and his instrument in order to turn it on its head, "defile" it if you will.

This f*cking mortal pr*ck took his own "Ruthlessness is mercy upon ourselves" catchphrase and turned it into forgiveness ... Of course, Poseidon is no longer hesitating; of course, he is no longer concerned with getting his hands dirty or not. He yells "DIE!" and unleashes his ultimate move (which is really overkill for simply killing a mortal if you think about it) ... But he does it anyway because this time he genuinely means it.

... That, and I am also convinced he jumps to that in order to simply shut Odysseus up, fearing what he might do or think if he lets him go on. Because you cannot tell me that Odysseus didn't actually reach him for just one moment. He was far too thrown off guard, far too vulnerable in that one second. That moment of kindness did something to him, and he hated it. He also probably didn't trust himself to be able to keep listening to Odysseus speak like that. So, he abandons his (still very technically feasible!) blackmail/intimidation and just straight-up kills him.

This simple exchange (my favorite moment in the whole musical, actually) tells us so much about both of these characters that it makes me want to skitter and squeal in excitement.

Here is Odysseus—the very same one whom Poseidon specifically tried to teach ruthlessness—becoming the first person in a long time to offer him sympathy despite how Poseidon himself showed him nothing but ruthlessness. And then one song later, here is Odysseus showing him the consequences of not accepting said sympathy.

Six Hundred Strike and what Odysseus does to Poseidon would've not hit the same, in my opinion, if he hadn't made this offer, if he hadn't given Poseidon this way out, even if no one watching genuinely expected it to work (probably not even Odysseus himself.)

Six Hundred Strike is not Odysseus exacting vengeance If GITW proved anything about Odysseus, it's that he does not want vengeance. He wants all of the hatred and pain to be over, to the point where he is willing to let go of, and I am inclined to say forgive Poseidon for what he's done to him. Six Hundred Strike is simply Odysseus teaching him this lesson that Poseidon couldn't have learned in any other way, because he has proven in GITW that he genuinely does not speak any language besides that of ruthlessness (more on that in this essay!)

It's just the perfect representation of how Odysseus has now finally learned the balance between mercy and ruthlessness, which seems to be the core theme of the musical: Both have their time and place; one simply has to be willing to act in both ways and know when to use either. No one extreme is the solution. I am genuinely exhilarated that Odysseus finally seemed to have figured out that it's been both all along.

[carolinagirl80]

I honestly don’t understand the whole “it’s just a joke”, “that’s how guys talk” like no?

First of all that’s a lame fucking excuse for his behavior. Just because you’re a fan doesn’t mean you have to protect every fucked up thing he says.

Let’s be honest non of us know them personally, we see what’s online and hear what’s said. So pretending like you know them, saying “he’s a good guy” and defending him like you do is embarrassing.

I use to be a fan of Misha. Well, more like I use to respect him as an actor and I enjoyed him in SPN. This year I had the privilege to meet him at a con. I say privilege because I know that many can’t afford to or haven’t had the opportunity.

It was so awkward, he clearly didn’t want to be there. Everything he said during his q&a catered to the audience. It was over all very fake, I still can’t understand how people feed into the stuff he says.

It really put a bad taste in my mouth. I’ve never been his biggest fan, just thought that it would be fun to meet someone, from the tv show the show I’ve loved for years. That being said if I could go back, I’d save my money instead of wasting it.

I’m not saying he wasn’t nice to me, I did have a longer interaction than others that had been in line. But as someone who hasn’t ever been an obsessive fan, I think it might have been easier not feeding into all the crap he says.

People forget that he gets paid to do this stuff. The reason why he’s a fan favorite is because of destiel. So ofc he’s going to milk it, since that’s the only thing he has to talk about.

All the questions were destiel related, he has nothing else to say about the show. Honestly I don’t think he remembers anything that happened in the show, except from all of the scenes where he can confirm that destiel is canon.

Anyway after that con I watched a few videos of other panels online, because Jensen and Jared didn’t attend the one I went to. And I have to say I agree with a lot of the things you’ve posted.

It’s clear that he tries hard to push Jared out of the picture, he forces this idea of being besties with Jensen at cons. It’s always so awkward watching them together. Most of the time Jensen just goes along with stuff Misha says, so he doesn’t have to answer the same questions about destiel being canon or not.

Jensen obviously takes his acting seriously, he played Dean for 15 years. So I don’t get when he says over and over again, that destiel isn’t a thing. That people can’t accept it and move on. I love Dean, but I’m not going to pretend I know him better than Jensen. He WAS Dean. He knows him inside and out.

Then we have Misha that eggs the fans on during these panels. It’s like Jensen tries to answer the question seriously. Then Misha swoops in makes a small joke out of it, like Jensen has no idea what he’s talking about and proceeds to talk over him. Giving them the answer they want to hear.

It even feels like he’s making fun of the fans at times, knowing that they feed into this crap and thinking it’s funny that they do.

Gives me the same vibes of Regina George saying “I love that bracelet where did you get it”. Then going back to the green room and making fun of it.

I mean he’s made fun of the show and fans before, there are literally videos or posts online.

ALSO!!! The whole thing Jensen said about it not being subtext it was clear text, has been so fucking twisted.

This has turned into more of a rant, sorry. But what I mean to say is I agree with a lot of the things you’ve said. I just don’t understand how people can’t see it? It’s so frustrating.

I don’t hate Misha, it just really really fucking bugs me, that people don’t see what he’s doing. I just don’t get that you, like others who point it out get attacked.

People go on and on about how hateful others are, then proceed to bully people online for pointing shit out? Make that make sense.

Hi Anon! Saw your other message, and yeah, I don't blame you there, but you are good, so here we go. Thank you for the message btw. Very refreshing after my last few that's for sure.

I will start by saying that I have never seen a group of people so willing to turn a blind eye to the numerous inappropriate things their fave does/says as the hellers/Misha Stans. Their mantra in life is "oh, it was just a joke". I mean, they have to say it constantly because Misha can't stop being inappropriate. He kinda has to though doesn't he? Otherwise, he couldn't keep them entertained and he'd float on off into obscurity.

Unfortunately, that requires the use of Jared and Jensen's names.

I'll start with Jensen just because I happen to already have a link ready.

So, with Jensen, he's going to play that Destiel/Cockles card as much as he possibly can. Always has, always will. Jensen has always said that Destiel doesn't exist. (Thanks to @Sammyiscat on X for posting this today, just when I needed it!)

Once upon a time, Jensen did do a little fan service and lean into it slightly during JenMish panels. However, he always made it as clear as possible how he really feels. Then the hellers called him homophobic for it. So earlier this year, as you mentioned, he called it "clear text" not subtext. He tried to be as diplomatic as possible. The unfortunate part of being diplomatic is that it allowed the hellers to twist themselves into pretzels making it sound like Jensen said the opposite of what he actually was saying.

What I find the most interesting is that in the last few years, Misha is on his best behavior around Jensen. He only runs his mouth off when Jensen isn't around. Usually when he's at a European con alone. I'd LOVE to know how that transpired. Jensen is also usually in a pretty bad mood leading up to a JenMish panel these days as well. He was surprisingly ok in Charlotte (except for that one damn question). However, let's look back on San Francisco. Remember when he ran from Misha trying to hug him?

That is the definition of an unhappy Jensen....Yet hellers, CANNOT SEE IT! How can they not see that? Anyways...I could go on and on here....

So let's move on to Jared...

Sweet silly Jared. How anyone could be mean to him I'll never know. Something has changed there too. There was a lot more joking from Misha where Jared is concerned once up a time. Now, everything Misha says about his sounds bitter and or malicious.

He loves to point out that Jared was discovered just walking down the street, or that he has no training or that he didn't go to college.

Then there was the airplane story from last month in DC. It was partially true, but heavily embellished to make Jared sound bad, and what happens every time that happens? Tons of hate descends onto Jared online. People telling him to kill himself. Just pure bullying and hate. Misha HAS to know that is what would happen.

Just this past weekend he mocked him: (Ignore the person who tweeted this. You don't want to go down that route)

What an asshole. I mean really. I know, I know hellers, "oh, it's just a joke" right? Let's not start the "you and your friends have no sense of humor" crap again.

As far as con experiences go? I've heard people say many times that they have had negative experiences meeting Misha. Unless you are known to him already he couldn't care less. Been there, done that, can confirm. Like I said in another post, glad I already didn't like him because I sure wouldn't now!

Edited to add another link of Jensen denying Destiel.

[bitterkarella]

Jane Schoenbrun: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the glowing tv Schoenbrun: it's about this kid who's obsessed with a 90s TV series called the pink opaque Schoenbrun: and how estrogen would have saved her

King: Oh, like Pete and Pete! Schoenbrun: what King: the show! it's like pete and pete, right? Schoenbrun: Schoenbrun: no

Poe: steve, it's clearly based on Are You Afraid of the Dark King: you think? it really seems like more of a Pete and Pete thing Poe: trust me King: remember arnie? strongest man in the world Poe: sure steve King: man! what a great show!

Mary Shelley: sup fuckers Poe: jane was telling a story about this 90s show King: Pete and Pete Poe: it's not Pete and Pete Poe: it's clearly got an Are You Afraid of the Dark vibe Barker: really it's more of a Clarissa Explains it All Shelley: now THAT was a show Barker: na na na na na na na Shelley: alright alright! Barker: na na na na Shelley: hey cool! King: wow, mary, i didn't know you were into clarissa explains it all Shelley: there's lots you don't know steve Shelley: i'm a real fuckin enigma, steve

Schoenbrun: well, you're all wrong!! Schoenbrun: it's based on the secret world of alex mack King: King: oh yeah i can kinda see that now Poe: yeah that makes sense Barker: i feel dumb we didn't pick up on that Lovecraft: yeah its obvious when you say it

Schoenbrun: well here's something else that's obvious Schoenbrun: this story's about being trans King: what, really? i didn't pick up on that Barker: oh damn steve was the omnipresent white, blue and pink color scheme too subtle for you? King: the omnipresent what color scheme?

Schoenbrun: the 90s TV show is about these two girls who fight against the evil Dr. Dysphoria Schoenbrun: stop me if i'm being too subtle King: [looks at kafka] Poe: [looks at kafka] Lovecraft: [looks at kafka] Koontz: [looks at kafka] Barker: [looks at kafka] Franz Kafka: what

Schoenbrun: so in this next scene, they're in this bar where this cool badass girl punk is singing Schoenbrun: the subtext is wouldn't it be cool to be this cool badass girl punk? Kafka: well yeah but everyone thinks that Kafka: i mean, right? Kafka: that's just a normal thing

Schoenbrun: next the character turns to the screen and says "do you, the viewer, suffer from gender dysphoria? check all the following symptoms which apply to you" Schoenbrun: again Schoenbrun: stop me if i'm being too subtle Franz Kafka: why are you looking at me

Schoenbrun: what i am saying is Schoenbrun: there is still time to be your own true authentic self Kafka:

Schoenbrun: think about what i'm saying here Kafka: haha i Kafka: Kafka: [stands up, quietly leaves] Barker: oh i didn't expect that Barker: shit Barker: we'd better go after her Poe: no no give her some space Poe: this has been a long time coming Poe: seven years, statistically

[cunty-hunty8]

hot take babes: my thoughts whenever someone says i’m crazy for shipping destiel.

the simple possibility of nephilim tells us that angels can fall in love/have sexual interest in humans. (just like ishim felt something ((obsession)) for lily and lucifer felt something ((sexual desire)) for kelly). so if you say it’s impossible for cas to feel something for dean other than platonic love, the only reason is that you’re homophobic. “oh, but angels can’t be gay” but chuck, who’s literally GOD, can??!?! this goes into another whole area of “we can make the villain gay, but not our precious little dude who all the hetero fellas love so much”. and i’m not even gonna touch the amara subject (who was god’s sister and was supposed to be a being of extreme force and bigger than creation and she still felt something for dean and it wasn’t written by chuck, ‘cause dean is that guy apparently. so an angel can feel something just like amara did ((but shit was weird af)) ).

you can say that maybe dean didn’t reciprocate the romantic love or whatever (even with all the not even subtle subtext that he is a bissexual man in denial), and maybe i’ll get that (MAYBE) but if you say they can’t be together because cas didn’t love him like that, you are blind! watch the show again.

and i’m saying this because jared himself said some pretty stupid shit at a panel about how they can’t be together ‘cause cas is junkless (even though he had sex when he was human and his vessel doesn’t change with grace, this is not even important but ok dude??) and made a weird comparison of romantic love and paternal love saying that you can love your kids and not want to touch them inappropriately and it was the craziest fucking thing ever. so much internalized homophobia i can’t even…

jensen does the same, he acts likes he IS dean and even suggesting that cas and dean might be in love turns into a personal attack to him. but you’ll also find him being a destiel shipper in some videos like the time someone said: “why is it not samstiel?” and jared made 🤢 face and said “sam has better taste” and jensen made a 😒 face and said “dean has no taste, clearly.” so dude, pick a side pls?!

and misha, i have nothing to say about him except that i love him so much. (i love all of them, obviously, but i have my fav).

that’s it folks.

[auramgold]

On Acht and Romance

going into side order, from the september direct trailer where Acht was first revealed i remember the joke at the time clearly being "and now Marina's ex is here".

the way this line [image description in alt] was written was basically the only evidence for this kind of idea, when the theories were kind of "Marina's order tantrum is sucking people in from her past and the DLC will be about going through her memories", so ellipses in a line like this is basically all theory crafters on no info need to go for shipping.

i'm not one who's super into plot theory crafting, i know full well the tendency to theorize something that's cooler than what you actually get and being disappointed that the story didn't live up to your imagination. the things i was obsessed with in side order promotional material was the obvious bleached coral theme, the symbolism of coral ejecting it that which keeps it safe out of stress being mapped onto Marina, the idea of her pushing those she loves (and those that keep her colorful) away out of a spiral (and it does turn out that was basically exactly what the prologue was going for)

so the whole "Acht and Marina exes" thing was kinda just a joke to me, wasn't even on my radar as something they were actually going to lean into, frankly i was still scared nintendo was going to make them kill pearlina by sending Marina to superhell or smth and we'd end up with a splatoonified destiel meme

so when the DLC comes out and it is legitimately a "they knew each other since childhood" thing, and the running bit is Acht feeling awkward third-wheeling pearlina, and it's explicit in text that one of the reasons they're coming back after the DLC is over is to scope out Pearl as the girl who took down the NILS statue who is now dating Marina... it struck me as really interesting.

at first it was me keeping up the "Marina and Acht are exes" as a joke, but as i kept reading dialogue lines, it slowly became less of a joke, they were to some degree dating because opposite but complimentary autisms, and then drifting apart as Marina got pulled away on the big girl assignment with DJ Octavio, and then the despair of knowing Marina left without even saying goodbye to Acht... it fits well into that reading, it slowly became less of a joke to believe that

but the thing that really makes me think this is intentional subtext is the final Acht diary entry you get from clearing Eight's palette. through the rest of side order talking about Acht's backstory, it seemed like they were retconning the OE lore that Acht had gotten themself sanitized intentionally, losing themself so they could explore their music deeper. but in the final diary, where Acht directly says they drifted into the deepsea metro to fall into their music, because, and i quote

"Hey, Marina. You can guess the chaos your desertion caused. I ended up without much to do except make music. "

they fell into a depression spiral when their girlfriend deserted their society without so much as saying goodbye, falling into their music deep away from interacting with everyone else, to the point that, as the old lore implies, they chose to give up their identity to escape the depression, but sanitization so thoroughly did it that they forget even making the choice.

so when they get brought out of that haze back into being themself again, with the only the barest strung-together horrified memories of what happened in the half a decade interim gap in their life, only to find themself replaced by some inkling they don't know at all, of course they're gonna be awkward seeing the two flirting.

they put on a stoic face because that's clearly their coping mechanism within this damaged body they barely recognize, hiding their eyes behind their tinted glasses so they can't be seen beneath. but the only time they let themself be vulnerable, the only time their eyes can be seen, is when they charge out in the climax when the world is at stake, diving in to try to save Marina, leaving the elevator and its protection behind to help the only person they remember ever caring about.

it's why i don't really like the aroace reading that much, because i think this reading is even more tragic and fits into the themes. the world has changed, it can't go back to how it once was, you can't put the octolings back in the canyon bottle. Marina abandoned Acht to the point they got their identity destroyed willingly to escape the pain, and when Acht came back they were replaced by the inkling whose voice they remember even through the haze of sanitized memories.

the lingering effects of sanitization have changed how they relate to everything (i think there's a fair argument to be made for the idea that sanitization took their gender can't have shit in the deepsea metro), but Acht clearly still cares for Marina and still, the slightest bit, resents having to be reminded repeatedly every time pearlina flirts in front of them how they were replaced.

[tjlnn22]

Does anyone else ever think about how the main villains of each HxH arc prior to CAA represent a twisted/evil version of each of the four main protagonists? (CAA also has this but in a much more complex way that I’ll save for a later post)

Gon-Hisoka: I think this is fairly obvious with Hisoka being obsessed with fighting and getting stronger/being the best with no real regard for anything else. We see many hints of Gon having obsessive tendencies that could lead in this direction, also his love of fighting that could very well have turned sinister eventually had Gon been a less moral person than he is/went down a different path. Even then though we still get glimpses of that in the early arcs.

Killua-Illumi: again, pretty obvious. Illumi represents what Killua could have been had he followed his parent’s wishes of becoming a full time assassin and leader of the family, or potentially if he had never met Gon in the first place. Illumi is everything Killua fears becoming. (Also I think it’s worth noting how Hisoka and Illumi also have a “will they, won’t they, what are they to each other” vibe going on with the romantic subtext of their relationship. Not nearly as blatant or prominent as it is with Killua and Gon, but it is there.)

Kurapika-Chrollo: This one’s a bit more subtle, but I think the connection can be made between the two of them. First of all both of their backstories involve horrible deaths befalling those they loved when they were a child, which motivated them to go down their respective paths of revenge. Both are incredibly intelligent and competent nen users as well, and take the leader role in their respective groups, a position that neither of them take lightly and feel an intense sense of responsibility for when it comes to their people. Both are willing to sacrifice everything for their cause (Kurapika’s being Justice and Chrollo’s being the PT as a group) and their personalities are also very similar as well.

Leorio-Genthru: Up until this point the parallels have very clearly come from the rival of each character, however I think this comparison also applies regardless. Genthru and Leorio both share a driving goal of doing what they do for money, although in Leorio’s case it’s so that he can help others while for Genthru it’s entirely selfish. Both of them are smarter then they let on at first, and capable of being very dangerous/powerful when they want to be. However, they also share a deep care and camaraderie with their friends despite their outward personalities. We all know that Leorio would do anything for his friends but Genthru as well is shown to deeply care for his two friends even to the point of his own detriment. There is also the fact that they do share many physical traits as well. Tall, lanky, glasses, etc. (also they’re both a bit underutilized in the story IMHO lol) but yeah, I think it’s clear where the similarities are.

Anyway, I may go more in depth into this at some point, or I may not. It’s just something I think about from time to time and was wondering if anyone else does too.

[jkj-digital]

Saw your reblog and mate if you got queer visual novel recs I got spare time that needs eating.

If you´ve come for gay furry visual novels, this is certainly a place with recommendations

Assume NSFW, Unfinished, and free unless otherwise specified

Adastra – get kidnapped by handsome space wolf and become involved in political shenanigans. The one that least needs an introduction – COMPLETE!

Astatos – A pair of mages (kind of) lose their home, summon a god and a devil, and help solve various political issues using card game mechanics. The queerness of this one is pretty heavily constrained to subtext, but there’s no doubt that all major characters are hot men in various states of undress – PAID, SFW

Chardonnay Romancia – Innkeeper who hates heroes discovers an amnesiac hero who quickly becomes obsessed with him, among many other subplots. The characters find themselves in many explicit scenarios, often enough against their will – PAID

Deers and Deckards – As a college student, get into a relationship with either your best friend, his dad, or both. Also, at some point the game decides it becomes tired of its light-hearted tone and takes a dip into a more supernatural setting. Currently, only the polygamy route is complete.

Demons Within – You play a demon of lust influencing the emotions of a soldier and those around him, attempting to assist your host while also growing your own power and keeping them ignorant of your existence.

Devil’s Gambit – A doctor reunites with an old friend, uncovering a supernatural mystery and kicking off a strange romance.

Glory Hounds – A young man finds himself with an unexpected employment opportunity: becoming a sidekick to a superhero.

The Human Heart – Wake up as the only human in a familiar world and find yourself adopted by a colorful group of friends – SFW

In Case of Emergency – Find yourself as the last of the chosen ones in gay furry Narnia and awkwardly ingratiate yourself into the longstanding group of heroes – COMPLETE!

Kingsguard – When things go to hell at your royal birthday how will you reclaim your throne from the magical forces trying to take it from you and, more importantly, which of your kingsguard will you fall in love with

Minotaur Hotel – Discover the true story of (and also fall in love with) the Minotaur of legends and turn his crumbling home into a home for the lost. Even among visual novels, this one is a slow burn, but it’s absolutely worth it

My Pirate Husbandos – Get rescued from drowning at sea by a crew of rowdy, and very gay, pirates, and help them until you earn yourself a place among their ranks

Nekojishi – Become forced to face an uncertain future when you suddenly awaken the ability to see spirits and find yourself fought over by three handsome cat men who each want you to become the priest of their shrine (or equivalent) – SFW, COMPLETE!

Orveia – Awaken in an unfamiliar and horny world along with your best friend (who somehow arrived about a decade before you did) and several handsome men to become an adventurer. This game contain heavy RPG mechanics

Pervader – Discover your kindly DILF of an employer is a wizard and get infected with “becomes a wizard” disease along with the heir to an order of knights whose primary goal is to stamp out all magic

Shelter – Become enraptured in a strange world of medieval fantasy dogs, and protect your home in a world that wants to take that away from you

The Smoke Room – Learn to trust again in the wild west in 1915 after a man you though loved you tried to kill you, while the world itself seems to want to drown you in your guilt

Temptation´s Ballad – A young rogue trying to live up to his father, a commoner with an obsession with adventuring, and a sheltered chosen one looking to broaden their horizons form an adventuring party by happenstance and find themselves with a quest far larger than any of them believed

[seventeenlovesthree]

What the 2nd audio drama of Digimon Adventure 02 The Beginning tells us (potentially) in text and subtext

I've been anticipating the 2nd drama "An SOS to Our Brothers! Takeru and Hikari’s Secret Mission?!" for various reasons and in the end - it was not exactly what I had expected, but I can't say it hasn't caught me off guard. Also in various ways.

So take my little self-indulgent analysis with a (big) grain of salt.

Spoilers under the cut:

First things first: These are not the breadcrumbs I was hoping for, but they are breadcrumbs nevertheless! I will try to analyze the drama from the perspective of what it tells us about Takeru, Hikari, Ken - and the perception of the older children from their point of view AND from a production standpoint, aka "what the creators probably wanted to include in the movie, but couldn't and now tried to portray it in a more lighthearted way".

What the drama tells us about Takeru:

In context of the drama: Let's get the most important aspect out of the way: Let's hope the writing stress won't get to him in the way of turning him into a slight alcoholic. No, all jokes aside, just like in Kizuna, we are told that they're actual adults now by showing them drink alcohol and that will never not baffle me. What absolutely DOESN'T baffle me is that he continues to be an absolute troll that vibes with (and gets enabled by) Hikari 100% - and that he feels comfortable enough to troll and be open with Ken is also very nice development for him. Also, let's not overlook the fact that he basically made (diplomat and spy in training) Taichi the main character of his Totally Spies/Evangelion fanfiction here. Sure, Yamato ("he got my brother, the astronaut-in-training, on his side") and Koushirou ("[he] wasted no time in analyzing it and developing a shield that would nullify its attacks") played important roles in there too, but they were basically just the supporting cast Hikari had to remind him of, so he wouldn't just write an entire novel about Taichi's adventures to prevent World War III. Of course there were still lots of plot holes (which were rightfully pointed out by Ken), but you gotta love Takeru still idealizing Taichi like that, while sprinkling in references to Kizuna's events (and including Imura while doing so, whom he may actually have had some talks with after he regained consciousness again, so that was a nice touch).

In context of the production: I actually adore that they are going all out on portraying Takeru as obsessed with writing and I think it feels very organic in terms of foreshadowing his career AND his role as narrator of Digimon Adventure as a whole. I also maintain that this means to take EVERYTHING we hear about the Adventure canon with a grain of salt, because it may or may not be fabricated by his own ideas and perspectives - and that is EXACTLY what this drama did. It definitely worked for me - because by the end of the drama, I actually went "You litte sh*t really got me good, I actually believed you!" It's also funny that they're contextualizing their obsession with Evangelion references through Takeru - at this point, we can just assume that he is a big Evangelion fanboy himself and that is where all these hints and nudges are coming from.

What the drama tells us about Hikari:

In context of the drama: She actually appears less prone to being a habitual drinker than Takeru and only drinks sweet stuff (Pina Colada) because she's got a sweet tooth - as opposed to Tailmon going all out with the Tequila, holy... That aside, her main role is to enable Takeru and help him write fanfiction. I'd like to believe that she would actually have liked to contact the others for real (hence why she was so keen to talk in detail about Yamato's and Koushirou's involvement and Sora's and Jyou's reactions), but the movie itself already showed us that Taichi and Koushirou were not available and the former actively shouted at her to leave him alone - hence why the frustration over that may have led to them coming up with a little story like that in the first place. And I think it's very telling that they feel comfortable enough to tell their little headcanons to Ken in particular. Even if it was a trolling attempt, it shows that they are supposedly close with each other and that is pretty neat.

In context of the production: The main take-aways for me here are: a.) The fact that Hikari and Takeru are basically glued to one another by the hip, troll partners in crime - and Toei and the writers absolutely have no intention of changing that whatsoever while STILL managing to portray them as strictly platonic. b.) You can tell Hikari is a skilled story-teller by the way she was sprinkling in little details about the "characters" to flesh out Takeru's narration, or else it may have been even less convincing. And that was also a nice touch to showcase she would be great at telling stories to children as a future kindergartener too!

What the drama tells us about Taichi:

In context of the drama: There he is, our busy diplomat in training, working for the "Digital World-related department at the Ministry of Foreign Affairs". Despite all the outlandish and exciting things Takeru likes to imagine about his career, as Ken points out, Taichi is still "too young" to make that big of an impact yet, being able to pull strings and having important connections like that - but at least the movie showed us he WAS working behind the scenes together with Koushirou.

In context of the production: I cannot help but wonder whether they actually would have liked to make a little OVA about Taichi going on an undercover mission, backed up by Yamato and Koushirou (and Mimi????), to prevent his own employer from causing World War III/Third Impact. Granted, Takeru's descriptions there were WILD and I'm still not over the "my brother and Taichi-san boarded an F-16 and rushed into the sky over Tokyo" comment, but overall... Cutting away some of the over-the-top narration, Kizuna already showed us that they absolutely WOULD go on spy missions and that this could have been a great OVA theme to show that the older kids are, indeed, still relevant. ESPECIALLY our main character of main characters, Taichi Yagami. Even if we still don't know the state of Agumon, at least we do know he is making progress.

What the drama tells us about Yamato:

In context of the drama: What we can assume is that Yamato actually already is an "astronaut-in-training", since Ken didn't really disagree with that point. There were a few "details" that may or may not be taken with a grain of salt as well, such as (Kizuna's) Imura being portrayed as "a friend of my brother in the FBI" (could be true!) or the idea that Yamato might already be capable to board a "F-16 and rushed into the sky over Tokyo", but... Hey, since Tri, we have at least seen Yamato giving persuasive speeches, but whether or not he would be as involved in everything remains to be questioned. We actually don't know how or if he was involved at all in this.

In context of the production: I still find it funny that, even in Takeru's own world-building, his big brother is "just" the secondary main character - but that is at least mainly in line with how he is overall portrayed.

What the drama tells us about Koushirou:

In context of the drama: There actually isn't a lot of content mentioned in THIS drama that could be used canonically, since everything mentioned here is just Takeru projecting his Evangelion fanboyism onto Koushirou - but drama 1 and the movie itself already contextualized his role rather nicely, as you will see below.

In context of the production: Interestingly enough, through the course of both the movie and the dramas - aside from Taichi -, he was the character who was mentioned and referred to the most. There shouldn't be any question about his role as tertiary (or even occasional secondary) main character, since, even as a background character, he oozes supporting cast energy - no matter whether he is being referred to as "expert in all things Digimon" (movie), mentioned by Tailmon and Patamon to be a potential sugar daddy sponsor as rich "company president" (drama 1) or is being described by Takeru to pull strings in the back by creating AT fields to support Taichi and Yamato. You can tell that they simply CANNOT tell a story without him and it's nice that, through Takeru's (and Hikari's) narration skills, we are being told that he is vital and influential to everything that is happening. He really deserves the appreciation. (I do wonder if Takeru watched the Rebuild Series and thought "Wow, Maya is so annoyed and fed up with everything, I can use that for Koushirou-san in my fanfiction!!!")

What the drama tells us about Mimi:

In context of the drama: Crazy Mimi being crazy spy Mimi was actually what broke the immersion for Ken. And that in itself is amazing. We actually have no idea what she is doing right now, but apparently, "Mimi, who happened to be passing by, to make an anonymous phone call" is not realistic enough for Ken to accept Takeru's fanfiction as canon. To be fair, it was Patamon who included Mimi - since neither Takeru nor Hikari knew how to include her in there...

In context of the production: ... And Toei probably didn't know either. Which is a shame, since I think we can all agree that we all would have loved to see crazy spy Mimi in action. But at least we know she wasn't the only victim here...

What the drama tells us about Sora:

In context of the drama: I want to believe that Hikari actually IS in (semi regular) touch with Sora. I want to believe that she is currently on her way to "follow the path [she] believed in". Because if she isn't, my reaction to Takeru and Hikari not knowing how to include her either that would be the same as Ken's: "Wow..." At least it being "hard for her to join the fight after all" could be explained by her and Piyomon not being reunited yet, but... All we can do is guess here.

In context of the production: Once again, Sora, just like Mimi and Jyou, gets the shortest end of the stick and we are still led to believe that she is not really in touch with the group and still on her way to self-discovery. Which is still a shame. And maybe they really just (still) don't know what to do with her.

What the drama tells us about Jyou:

In context of the drama: Writing Jyou is easy. Because I actually BELIEVED the course of the story outlined by Takeru here: Them not wanting to contact him, because he is "always busy" and him getting "really pissed at us after the fact, saying that he actually managed to have some free time for once, and we hadn’t let him know", so they "had a hard time calming him down". THAT WAS REALISTIC - and also implies that Gomamon would have been there and ready to take on the fight, but... Yeah, unfortunately, all of that wasn't real.

In context of the production: They love to play with the running gag of Jyou always being busy - but I like that they, through Hikari, acknowledged not only the fact that they should ALL FEEL GUILTY FOR NOT CONTACTING HIM (and everyone in general), but that he is indeed Mr. Reliable if he is given the chance. Even if reading that bit got me mad for a moment, it at least granted him a little dignity.

What the drama tells us about Ken:

In context of the drama: I think the most important take-aways here are that Ken Ichijouji not only is a person of common sense and sensibility in general - but also that he can be assumed to be comparably rather close with Takeru and Hikari, which is a very nice touch. We don't really get to hear a lot about him personally, but the fact that Hikari and Takeru went out with him alone for food and drinks is pretty telling in my opinion.

In context of the production: Ken has the honour of being a stand-in for several parties at once: First of all, he is a stand-in for us, the readers/listeners, to witness the craziness that is Takeru Takaishi's (and Hikari Yagami's + their Digimon's) imagination in real time, reacting sceptically to whether or not the stuff is realistic/believable in the first place. Secondly, by the end of it, he is a stand-in for the writers who (I am sure now) absolutely would have LOVED to go bonkers with the older kids, telling a crazy Totally Spies/Evangelion AU through them (or at least the ones they knew how to include, such as Taichi, Yamato and Koushirou - they OBVIOUSLY would have loved to put Mimi in there too, even going so far as to make Ken TRY to come up with a scenario for her... But then, they didn't even try with Sora and Jyou).

[nitewrighter]

The way you explain it makes sense, it’s just since Gotham and metropolis are fictional cities of ambiguous statehood, it’s easy to think of them as these weird city states.

Still, it’s surprising tone wise, to see a (traditional) Superman story end with a bad guy being executed (again, they flip the switch right before the credits) and SEEMS like it would be more likely in a Batman story- not to one of the iconic villains obviously, but like a crime lord who lost their power or a corrupt politician who was exposed.

Don't underestimate a Superman story when it comes to dark themes!

Not to be all, "Um, it actually takes a high IQ to enjoy Rick and Morty" about this, but I honestly do think the Batman and Superman shows were, in terms of dark/mature content, on a very similar level--Superman TAS just tends to get shrugged off more because Batman TAS was able to have a cleaner and more together general aesthetic (and because it was VISUALLY LITERALLY a lot darker), and Batman TAS had more memorable rogues, of course. But Superman TAS was dealing with a lot of similar evil guys to Batman TAS, it was just dealing with them in the light of day, which is considerably less scary and dramatic. Also because Superman cares a lot more about his civilian identity than Batman does, and because Superman's civilian identity is "A Guy With A Day Job Who Has To Get Along With His Coworkers," you kind of have different kinds of maturity in terms of what these two men in their respective shows are actively dealing with in their shows' runtime. Superman is maintaining an identity and a a working relationship with his peers in journalism, and maybe being a bit of a mentor/older coworker buddy to Jimmy Olsen. We don't really have that "Recurring civilian support network" factor with Batman aside from Alfred, but Alfred doesn't really count because he's also operating from within the bubble of Wayne Manor and he's actively enabling Bruce's Batman-ing. This is partial nostalgia talking, but I always got the vibe that Batman tended to be more of a 'parent' to the (child) audience, where Superman is more of like, not just superpowers, but adulthood as its own power fantasy. Kind of like how little kids will mimic having jobs and driving in cars, you know?

But getting back to those more mature themes--I do think because Superman TAS had Lois Lane, you had a lot more sex as subtext. That isn't to say that the show reduced Lois to a sex object or anything--because the villains who are creepiest toward her are those she tended to get involved with purely because she's just Doing Journalism Shit. Like there's a whole episode where someone is repeatedly attempting to kill her, and it turns out it's this villain Luminus who was her primary informant in an exposé she wrote on Lex Luthor, which cost Luminus his job. And Luminus only gave her this information because he thought because he was taking this ~big risk with his whole career~ against Luthor, that she'd notice him and fall madly in love with him. But she didn't, so he decided to murder her because she ruined his career. And Lois is listening to his whole villain monologue like "Dude, what? I thought you chose to do this because Luthor is fucked up and evil and someone needs to stop him." And you know, you're watching this show as a little kid and you're like, "It's not nice to try to kill someone just because they don't like you back >:(" and then you're watching the show as an adult and you're like "Ohhhh he was sexually obsessed with her."

[sforzesco]

Cardinal I'm so sorry I hope it's fine to ask but I seem to remember that you talked about Cassius agreeing to marry into Brutus' family even knowing that they were cursed? Or something similar? I can't find the reference again and I am on my knees begging for more context because of my obsession with haunted families.

HEY HEY ALRIGHT!!

Although recently (as in: last week) I’ve been turning around the idea of Brutus being cursed, I’ve actually talked about Brutus’ family being haunted, not cursed!

(With that said, if you’re into curses: Brutus is connected to the cursed Tolosa gold through the Caepio side of his family)

Also recently (as in: I’ve been reading stuff for awhile and slowly turning thoughts around in my head) I’ve been reevaluating my Brutus’ House Is Haunted position to a much more broader The Entire Roman Aristocracy Is Haunted But Brutus Is Real Fucked Up (because Brutus has tyrant killers on both sides of his family, but the haunting the gens Junia claims is the original sacrifice and curse that Rome the Republic was built on: tyrant killing and the killing of one’s own sons, and Augustan revisionism will bury that under their own myth making. Which is. That’s also a kind of haunting)

Speaking of which, if you’re into haunted families, you may get a kick out of studying Roman funerals and imagines! A Roman Household Is A Living Tomb, Actually.

Death on Display: Looking at Roman Funerals, John Bodel

Reconstructing the Roman Republic: an Ancient Political Culture and Modern Research, Karl-J. Hölkeskamp

And with regards to Cassius, my general view on all of that came from a slightly different train of thought: Cassius Marries Into A Haunted House because narratively it always feels more like he’s married Brutus instead of Brutus’ half-sister. Like, she’s just straight up not in Shakespeare, so that makes the historical brother-in-law/childhood friends connection to Brutus that much MORE direct than it already is. Cassius is not often depicted as having his own house! He most frequently shows up in the streets of Rome or IN Brutus’ house, which adds more flavor to the marriage subtext I’ve personally chosen to chew on.

In his own way, Cassius is also haunted by the sheer scale of absence on his own family tree, like. Dude, where IS everyone. Absence is also a kind of Haunting. Everything Is Ghosts, Maybe

[williamrikers]

King of the Cardboard Castle

- thoughts on kanghan after episode 2 -

i just rewatched the episode (because it slaps so hard, i'm fully on board and invested in this show now), and i want to write a little something on kanghan because i see some people in the tag confused by his choices. why did he go to sailom's with a gun? why did he end up comforting sailom? i think it's all very understandable from his character's perspective.

so, to me, that cardboard castle tells us everything we need to know about kanghan: his power is an illusion, built on an unsteady foundation, and could be torn down at any moment. kang is intimately aware of this and does everything he can to try and consolidate the little power and influence he has by any means necessary.

why use a gun to threaten sailom?

but sailom isn't afraid or deferential. he never, EVER is.

kanghan needs to feel dominant. he needs to feel powerful, and literally the only guy at school who keeps defying him is sailom. sailom keeps coming out on top time and time again because he's smarter than kang and never actually starts shit, he just reacts to what's happening, making him basically immune to being ratted out to people in positions of authority. even kang's own grandmother sees through kang's shitty attempts at manipulation and chastises kang in front of the principal.

kanghan's only power is that over the kids at school, truly a king of a very small and incredibly meaningless kingdom. but it is effective in making him feel powerful: all of the other kids defer to kanghan or are openly terrified of him (we saw them all dutifully lining up to have the videos removed from their phones, none of them are ever going to challenge kang).

and kang resents that--has a deep need to put sailom in his place, because he wants that feeling of total power. he wants all of his classmates to defer to him, not just 90% of them. at this point, it's turned into an obsession for him: make sailom afraid just once. make him tremble before kang just once. make him get down on his knees JUST ONCE. (and no, there is no gay subtext at all to kang insisting again and again that sailom should get down on his knees. don't worry about it kanghan your secret gay fantasies are safe with me 😘)

like, he's tried everything else: threatening him physically, trying to get him fired from his job at the car wash, ACTUALLY getting him fired from his job tutoring, hurting his friends, trying to convince his grandmother to cancel his scholarship, taunting him about his home situation and lack of money, actually throwing money in his face/on the ground (from what i understand, a taboo in thailand). and none of it has worked to make sailom treat him with the respect and fear he thinks he deserves. sailom would rather have given up his scholarship than lie about what happened and wrongfully apologize to kang. at this point, i feel like kang is too far gone to be able to back out. he has set this goal for himself (humiliate sailom), and it's been eating his brain. he can't rest until he finally gets what he wants.

can i just put in a quick tangent in here gushing over CHIMON'S MICROEXPRESSIONS!!! god, this man is a joy to watch, just look at the money throwing scene in part 3/4; the depth of emotion chimon manages to convey with just the slightest changes of expression is incredible. i've said this before and i will say it again: chimon is one of the strongest actors on the gmmtv roster right now and i am in awe of his skill.

anyway, kang goes to sailom's house fully intent on humiliating him, but what he finds there is so much worse than any of his own bullying has managed to be. for all his talk, kanghan is not a particularly scary or successful bully: he's the king of the cardboard castle. his power is an illusion, propped up by his family name and his family's money. i don't think he would be capable of taking a hot iron and burning someone with it--the level of violence that sailom is subjected to (ON THE REGULAR, I MIGHT ADD) is completely out of kang's wheelhouse.

and i do think that at this point he genuinely feels for sailom. that he genuinely does feel sorry for him, because you can't be obsessed with someone to the point of going to their house with a gun without caring about them in some way. on the contrary, the kind of obsession kang has with sailom runs bone-deep, and i am absolutely team "kang is going to fall first and fall hard". he's already obsessed with the guy! he values sailom's emotional state in a way he doesn't anyone else's! (sure, initially it's because he wants to make sailom submit but all that obsessive energy has to go SOMEWHERE, right.)

seeing sailom cowering and crying does put things in perspective for kanghan, i think. the way he reaches out to him seems almost involuntary, the way he touches him is hesitant and unsure. but this does read as a very genuine and understandable reaction to me: no matter their differences at school, this is a person who kang knows and, in a twisted way, cares very much about. the normal human reaction at this point is to reach out, to offer comfort, no matter how you feel about the person. it would have been weirder to me if he hadn't, honestly.

also, a note on the use of "friend" by kang in this scene: i've seen people making a big deal out of this but it's absolutely not that deep. please correct me if i'm wrong but as i understand it, "puen" is also frequently used to refer to classmates/people in the same year at uni, no matter whether you're close to them or not. "friend" is just a translation choice which fits imo, because you wouldn't say "get away from my classmate" in english. you'd probably say "get away from my friend" instead, even if you're not really friends, and translation is also about what makes sense in the target language. so him saying that is not some big 180, he's basically just stating that he knows sailom from school.

anyway, where was i going with all of this? to me, kang's choices in this episode are all completely justified from his character's perspective. i neither find it odd that he tried to threaten sailom with a gun, nor that he ended up comforting sailom. because everything he is and claims to be is built on cardboard: the guy doesn't know himself. we know he has some deeply, DEEPLY repressed gay fantasies and that he gets obsessed with the first person to openly defy him because that threatens the stability of his cardboard castle. what if everyone realises that deep down, kanghan is a cringefail loser who is so starved for love and attention he would rather fill the hole in his heart with violence and cruelty than be honest about who he is? what if everyone finds out he's not as scary as he'd like to be?

the cardboard underneath kang is flimsy, and i'm pretty sure his castle is going to collapse pretty soon.

[raisinchallah]

scream i forgot just how insane and deliberate the early gay subtext in xena is painting a very specific picture of like gabrielle small town lesbian having heard stories of adventurers and definitely knows rumors xenas gay and is like immediately obsessed with her and wants to run off with her the moment she sets eyes on her and leave her small town boyfriend shes not into behind but like fdsjkls;sldafdl not even 20 minutes into the first episode shes already spinning lies to the cyclops to escape saying oh see im a double crosser being like dont you see she would never let a man get close enough to do her well you know not that kind of do her but she would let some young innocent girl such as myself close enough like ok again has heard all the rumors about xena and is like ok well i need her sdjkl;;;jdkas and beginning of the SECOND EPISODE shes already telling xena a story about two lovers turned into oak trees so they would entwine with each other and never be parted and xenas like ok and? and gabrielles like oh but you know..... points fingers together i think everyone will find their other tree... even you and xenas like i think the strongest trees stand alone and gabrielles like huge heart eyes you dont have to be alone always xena.... gabrielle was literally ssooo crazy writing in her diary on day ONE mrs. warrior princess surrounded by so many hearts like ok everyone says shes a fearsome warrior but i um have you considered.. her heart

[monstersinthecosmos]

i love you asexuality in the VC post! i feel like i don't see people talk about the ace aspect of those books often, even though that was something that really spoke to me so much when i first read them (tbh it also makes me a little burned out to see some adaptations focus so much on the sex too because part of me is like. but i /liked/ the asexuality of it all! that wasn't a bug it was a feature!!)

I can’t always tell why we don’t talk about it more often; sometimes it feels like it’s so obvious that it goes unsaid, and other times I think ace folks in fandom are just so shy to bring it up because historically people have been such rancid cunts about it? I’m not sure.

But again and again, every time I make asexual VC posts, I get so many people commenting, tagging, DM’ing, inboxing to thank me or tell me they feel seen, and that’s what we need more of! 

It’s hard because like, I understand why visual adaptations feel the need to show it visibly, especially because I think it’s easy to forget that asexuality is already so heavily misunderstood/underdiscussed IN the queer community itself, and when we see this bullshit on TUMBLR of all places it tells me that even inside the queer echo chamber we are struggling for visibility. So I don’t expect mainstream audiences and ~ regular people ~ to understand it at all. I also fully respect the politics behind SHOWING SEX and being loud about it. I think that’s very much needed in the current political climate.

There’s a discussion to be had about non-sexual intimacy and split attraction models though; for example, we could also visually communicate with kissing and casual intimacy, touching, cuddling, etc, and the nature of TV and using sex to sell means that it’s not enough. And when you see an adaptation on a network that can’t use graphic sex anyway, it winds up being a lot of telling and not showing, so by that point I wonder why they can’t just be more casually intimate. 

It goes back to the misunderstanding in the books, too, like, the non-sexual romance and intimacy, even the vampire-sensual intimacy isn’t subtext. Not fucking doesn’t make the queerness subtext. It just means they’re not fucking, and I think when fans insist otherwise we’re getting into “all queer people are obsessed with sex” rhetoric that’s extremely problematic, and if you’re keeping score it’s the current talking point of the right to try to erase our existence in public. But the way this gets weaponized within fandom (on both sides) is just so fucking tired lmao. 

The whole conversation can be a huge bummer and I have interacted with tons of ace folks in this fandom over the years and everyone felt the same way about the canon asexuality and appreciated it and felt seen, etc. Especially older fans who didn’t know what asexuality was and likely felt alienated or were made to feel broken. So I just would love if people could discuss it without punching down at ace people and taking away like, the one fucking thing we had lol, and it would also be great if defensive ace folks didn’t overcorrect and try to center sexlessness as a moralizing tool, because it isn’t. I think when we start weaponizing and trying to arm ourselves by turning orientation into ethics we’re losing the plot. I think sometimes allos punch back and get defensive because they think we’re saying they’re gross for wanting to see sex or whatever and that’s not really the point. 

Personally, I read the books young enough that I always felt very supported by them, like I experienced the same confusion and worry about being broken but also the books were such a source of comfort because I was like, oh I just appreciate people the way vampires do.

Anyway it also provides so much rich extra context and framing for some of the characters and their intentions and can inform so much more meta. Like, examining themes of rape (vampire/biting rape vs literal rape) there’s so much to unpack about intention and desire when vampires see humans as food, when pleasure is about thirst and feeding and survival and nourishment and not only about sexual gratification. It just adds a whole other layer to discuss and I think that enhances the stories a lot. And like I said earlier, I understand that reducing it to “asexuality” as a human construct might seem as reductive as reducing it strictly to sex, but I hope one day people can build their cases against it without being so dismissive of ace people because it’s really recognizable and prominent in the text.

[dwreader]

IWTV Episode 6 Podcast Transcript

Special Guests: Levan Akin and Jewelle Gomez

"Lestat made him [Louis] a vampire. He became in a way his everything. He became isolated from his family and his friends. He has nothing. It’s classic abusive, toxic. He’s isolated Louis." -Levan Akin

“Recording a song with your side piece is not an apology”

Naomi: First, in this episode, there’s a heated discussion of whether Emily Dickinson was a vampire. What other historical figures do you think could’ve been vampires? 

Levan: Good question.. I would say Tesla. He could be a vampire… I don’t know maybe I’m just thinking about was it David Bowie who played him in a movie. Maybe I just got that image in my head… I don’t know what do you think? 

N: I’m not used to having the tables turned on me… Bowie and Iman. 

L: And also Grace Jones. 

N: Can you tell me when you first discovered Anne Rice?

L: I’d heard about her and then I saw the film I think when I was 14. 

N: Wow, formative. 

L: I remember that screening very well. I loved vampires and I saw that film. I was a little gay kid and there was a lot of subtext I could pick up. And then I went to the school library and found The Vampire Lestat so that was the first book I read and that was a gamechanger for me. I was obsessed… 

N: Do you remember your parents having a reaction to you reading these books?

L: The thing is they didn’t really get it. My parents are from Georgia, former Soviet Republic. They had no idea about pop culture or anything. 

N: You’re live with us from Sweden. Correct me if I’m wrong but IWTV is the first time you’re directing a US TV series?

L: Yes.

N: Tell me everything, how does it happen? How are you out here working in Sweden and like get me on the AR show? 

L: I did a film called and then we danced, and that opened some doors. I got agents. I read from an AR fan I follow on facebook and heard they were doing a series and I told my agents, get me on that show. And then finally I met Rolin Jones and luckily Rolin thought why not give this guy a try. He’s a risk taker. 

…

L: I also got to do the scene where Louis meets Molloy in San Francisco. I can’t believe it. 

N: You directed ep 5 and 6 which are the most tumultuous episodes in the show and the most tumultuous time in their relationship. What is the core of the conflict, how would you describe it? 

L: You know those two episodes, its essentially the darkest days. Everything comes to the end. When I was reading ep 5 I was thinking, how does Lestat ever come back from this? And then I started reading ep6, and how he slowly tears Louis down and talks his way back into their lives. And I thought it was brilliant but also you know frightening. I always tried to approach the material with like what’s the reality of this situation? You know it is a toxic relationship. It was interesting approaching these scenes as an adult, having read these books as a kid. 

N: When you read these romances, its like I want someone to love me that much. And then when you’re an adult, you’re like this is sick this is twisted. We have to have boundaries. 

L: Yes, of course. 

N: You see the relationship change, for all the fantasy of it, the emotions are real, regardless of the time. How we stay in the truth of what the feelings are. As you said this is a tumultuous time, the darkest of days and we see Lestat begging for forgiveness over the course of years and trying to win Louis back. And he has a messed up way of apologizing. Can we talk a little about as a director, getting into the mindset? When you’re talking to Jacob and Sam, do you get them in the mindset of okay its been 6 years, you swam the Mississippi, bring me that energy. 

L: Yeah, again how do you find the truth in that scene. Its at its core.. Lovers reuniting but also there’s so much frustration coming from Louis in that scene. He’s been having this stalker slowly nudging his way into his wife. I remember talking to Jacob about it over lunch, it feels as if that scene also he’s had enough. He knows he’s never going to be free of Lestat. He might as well relent. Its very sad later in the episode he says what difference does it make. 

N: I want Louis to realize he can do better.. 

L: Me too. But you know Lestat is his prison. Its like him trying to get over a bad breakup and he’s still a hundred years later you’re sort of still trying to understand and deal with what happened in this relationship. 

N: And you see here in 2022 and he’s still mad. Relatable. 

L: Of course, of course. Lestat made him a vampire. He became in a way his everything. He became isolated from his family and his friends. He has nothing. It’s classic abusive, toxic. He’s isolated Louis. 

Voicemail from listener: I did watch the first episode, I was very intrigued but I did not read the book. I was a little confused about why Louis’s brother killed himself and then I thought maybe Lestat had gotten into his head because he wants Louis so badly but he wants Louis to come to him. So what better way to get someone and get into someone’s head when they are in mourning for someone they loved and vulnerable. I just wanted to know if that was why Paul killed himself that Lestat put that in his head so he could get to Louis. 

N: You’re asking the question that Louis asks in this episode! I thought this was such a huge moment, have you been sitting on this for 30 years? Have you been with this person wondering this all this time? Can you tell me your thoughts on this question? He says no. 

L: He says no, but as you said, him having this question for 30 years and never asked before, what does that mean? Does that mean he had his doubts but he didn’t want to ask and didn’t want the truth? But now theyre standing at this threshold so he’s like Im gonna ask this question but I think Lestat did not have anything to do with it. I think he’s telling the truth.. What do you think?

N: Its tricky to me cause we know Lestat is a manipulator, thats what he does. On one hand, the way he responds, I believe that but he did get in Paul’s head at the dinner table. 

L: But if he did do it, he’s irredeemable in a way. Which is why I think he did not do it. 

N: Why do you think Lestat is telling his story NOW?

L: To me, its cause he know he has to give him something. It’s purely tactical. He’s very earnest when he tells it, its very down to earth and grounded and direct. 

N: Was that something you and Sam talked about? 

L: Yes, we talked about it and we said this has to be different. It has to feel different for you to sort of lay that final punch toward winning over Louis for real. Without doubt. I don’t want the audience to feel Louis is an idiot. You have to understand Louis like he’s finally giving me something real something vulnerable. 

N: Speaking of sort of this intimacy and this toxicity of this relationship, do you think Lestat deserves forgiveness? 

L: It’s an interesting question and I was thinking about it, cause when you read the books and you read TVL/QOTD, its told from Lestat’s POV and he’s manipulating the reader and you love him and you’re inside his mind and he motivates all of his bad decisions and the bad stuff he does. When you see him objectively from the outside, it becomes more complicated. And this is Louis’s retelling of Lestat. The real question to me is does Louis really forgive him? I’m not sure he does, he takes him in again but is he totally open to him or has he locked off some places? 

N: You gotta lock up some places with Lestat. 

L: You can see that in relationships. People who have been together too long and you wonder should they really be or is it just comfortable its easier like this to keep going. 

N: Lestat will not let him go and we also see he won’t let Claudia go. I HATE HIM! WHY why won’t he just let Claudia go? The thing I don’t understand is he never wanted Claudia, he made her to appease Louis so I’m like why wouldn’t he let her go so he can have Louis all to himself again? 

L: Yes, cause he knows he’s never going to be enough for Louis. He knows that Louis is going to be depressed and thinking about Claudia, he doesn’t want to rock the status quo of the situation, he just wants to keep it as is. Cause its going to be trouble for Lestat. 

N: I feel like Lestat is his own trouble. If he could just be nice and stop having side pieces. Cause this is what kills me, when he mentions the Bruce thing adn knowing what we know of Lestat and how vengeful he is.. Why didn’t he go kill Bruce? 

L: yeah that’s a good question. 

N: Oh so you knew all this time and we know you love killing people just for fun, could you just go kill Bruce for the family please? I was mad.. 

L: Me too. 

N: One of the things too is the idea of enduring. As Lestat says, we endure each other. In some ways, Louis is just enduring Lestat like what can I do, so I’m just gonna stay with him. Is enduring something to even be proud of? Doesn’t sound great to me. 

L: I agree, its a way of suffering. I see it almost as a duty to go through these things and to endure. Being a vampire and living forever is an endurance. In this context, Louis is saying what else can I do?  He doesn’t have anyone else,  he doesn’t know any other vampires, why not just endure this and let this pass? Cause you see time differently when you’re a vampire, like it’s gonna be 10 bad years but then things are gonna change. 

N: 10 bad years.. What’s one bad decade?

L: Yeah cause they don’t have what we do which is like its now or never. I’ve gotta get my shit together now. Hustling to try to fulfill all your dreams. He’s like whats the point? And try to make the best of this, cause this is what we have and the cards we’ve been dealt. 

N: That brings me to Molloy in present day when Louis offers him eternal life and Molloy says no so quickly when we know that was not the case in the 70s. I interpret it as having heard this story, he’s like no I do not want to be a vampire now knowing what he knows hes like no thank you. 

L: Also I think being older and seeing what an effed up place the world is and its all going to hell and its the middle of the pandemic and climate change and wars, I think Molloy is like I don’t wanna stay here. 

N: This episode ends with Molloy having a dream? A memory? I love a camera pan and he’s there. 

L: I freaked out when I was reading it too... This series is everything I wanted as a fan, there are so many cool things you’re going to see in the series from the book. And a lot of things Rolin has planted now that you will see later. 

Horror Author Jewelle Gomez

N: Episode 6 did not leave me feeling good, coming off the heels of 5, it was another pummeling in a way. 

J: Louis has gone through the ringer and its not that often you get to a see a vampire who has to recover. Usually in TV/movies its like bada bing bada bang and injuries are gone. This is a knitting back together and its an emotional thing to watch. 

N: It’s been years, it takes like 3 years to get back to who he was like walking around. This is an episode about the family dynamic and how it is changed by what Lestat has done. What do you think is different about a vampire family? Should they even be a family? Are they forcing something not right? 

J: We’re thinking like mortals, like they can get a therapist to work it through. I think it’s valuable to try to make something but it has to be as Louis say no lies and I dont think Lestat is ever capable of being fully present and fully honest even when he says he’s going to compromise or be honest I don’t know if you can trust him in particular. And then you add in Claudia who is in many ways superior to Louis and Lestat, she’s got a really strong mind a strong intellect… 

N: They’re like she’s a sweet little girl, it will be fine. Have you never met a teenage girl? 

J; WRONG. 

N: It’s funny cause I don’t think of her as smarter but she is colder. Louis he is bound by this love of Lestat, he’s in his thrall. Then Lestat is driven by power and control. Claudia just wants to be free… she is the one who is the least attached in this trio which enables her to see clearly and this dynamic is not right and I dont have to stand for it. 

J: She’s coming into her own as she goes out into the world and sees women. She’s never going to become one in the traditional scene and it engenders her anger. She is definitely chillier than Louis and that’s a surprise to them. She’s not as wedded to the value of mortals cause she’s never lived as long as a mortal. She’s chilly and ruthless. 

N: Absolutely, a bit theme of the series is ht eidea of freedom vs repression and she says to Louis lets leave and go to Europe lets life our own life. But do you think you can really be free as a vampire? Do you think a vampire is any more free as a mortal?

J: Usually its the stuff you take into your vampire life before you were a vampire, but if you were not taught how to create family or what freedom really means, it would be very hard to be free of someone like Lestat. I think that’s a significant element of who Claudia is trying to be free, what it creates for her is assault. She takes that into how she feels about Louis and Lestat. Its stoked by this incident by Bruce, its something they do not understand, even reading the diary you can’t really understand what it means to a woman to have that experience. It’s a very valuable part of the story for us to understand claudia and why she wants to be free why she will go to any lengths to be free. 

N: She thinks the only way to be free is killing Lestat. What are the vampire rules against killing your maker? 

J: It’s like how mortals views patricide or matricide. It’s like the worst crime other than killing your child. It sentences you to death in the vampire world. 

N: Can she ever really be free? If she thinks the only way to freedom is to kill Lestat but to do so would put a target on her back… there’s no way out for her? 

J: The only way for her would be if Lestat turns over a new leaf and just lets them go on their European tour but what’s more likely to happen when he finally does understand Claudia is serious and powerful. The possibility of him killing her is not that slim. He might just be done with her and is not worth the hassle. She’s not in love with him the way Louis is. 

N: We’ve talked a bit about Louis being in love with Lestat and in his thrall but Claudia says we’re slaves to Lestat and Louis is like that’s not true. Why does he not see do you think? 

J: I’ll tell you, when she tells Louis we’re slaves to Lestat, Louis knows what slavery looks like in real life, he does not feel its true for him in this moment. Even though slavery comes in different shapes sizes and forms, he’s like little girl you don’t know what you’re talking about. He doesn’t take in himself as a slave but he’s unable to see himself as a slave but someone who treats him the way Lestat does is not healthy. We cannot underestimate he is in love, he takes the position of the battered spouse who keeps forgiving. 

N: Its Claudia who gives the strength to Louis, when she says we don’t have to be like this anymore, you deserve better, we deserve better, we can start over. The young person who sees all the opportunities vs. the older person who was never given that opportunity. 

J; And that gives you hope that things can change but she’s also a young person who doesn’t know the past so she doesn’t know what Louis’s been through to get where he is. So its a double edged sword in some ways, but the hope part of it is most valuable to Louis at this stage of this story. 

N: If you’re vampire, where would you live and when? Preferred time period and location where you would feel the most free?

J: I would live between London and NY. London in the 1800s - number 1 the clothes, the outfits, I’m a corset queen and bloomers on your bicycle and you could go to the theater every night of the week and see something different. As a person of color I wouldn’t be invited to a lot of the salons, that’s alright I’ld have my own vampire salons.