#is the actual negative impact here
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lith-myathar · 11 months ago
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autisticlee · 8 months ago
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"just be yourself" has always been one of my most hated things to hear from someone. it may sound simple and easy to you, but when you grew up never able formed a single solid personality (because you grew up autistic or for some other reason) and/or have always felt more like 20 different personalities in a trench coat who fight over who is supposed to be in charge, that "simple" advice is so much less simple.....it can even seem impossible.
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deoidesign · 4 months ago
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Hello! I just discovered your blog and I immediately became captivated by your webcomic, but I'm unsure where to read all of it. I know it's on Webtoons, but I can see it hasn't been updated for a while, and you still post about it.
Are your physical novels just prints of the webcomic? Are they a continuation? Is the story complete? Thanks in advance!
Hi there!
Glad you found me and are enjoying my comic!
It's only on webtoons, and the story is not complete yet! We're 2/3 of the way through right now. It's currently on hiatus, and it's scheduled to come back in about 2 months!
I'll explain why it's been so long if you're curious, but also for my followers who might also be wondering about it under the cut. Sorry, it's pretty much just me complaining haha
I took a month off I took 2 months to get the books printed I took a month to prepare my next comic and I took 2 months to write the rest of the series (I knew the character arcs I wanted, but not the time periods or mysteries!!!) I've been working on actual episodes since then
I had to take some time off because of some pretty extreme burnout due to the sheer amount of work it was to draw over 800 pages and write 6 complete stories in a year and a half... I was getting sick almost weekly due to the overwork, it was really really bad honestly. I was having to work 60+ hours every week just to keep up...
The nature of the comic itself is also difficult... Each of the arcs is a complete, self contained story which can be read (ideally) without context, and my arcs need to be about 10-13 episodes each... And since I have an exact number of episodes to work with, it's even harder.
It takes a ton of planning and a ton of refinement, and working week to week with no breaks I was forced to put out second or even first drafts, so I just wasn't happy with the work I was doing... And to do that for the rest of the series? I wouldn't be proud of the work I did.
Plus... To be entirely honest, webtoon has treated me quite badly IN MY OPINION... They deprioritized me before I launched (I had to beg for more promotion, I'm not exaggerating), they outright denied me the opportunity to even ask for a raise, I don't make any money on fast pass and they pay me less than my partner makes working at trader joes. My first editor left me completely hanging, my second editor (who I loved) was fired... And they told me I wouldn't get a third season before my first season even finished. So it was just repeatedly completely demoralizing.
I'm sorry it has taken so long, it'll have been 10 months by the time I come back. But I realized... I won't get promotion either way. I won't get more episodes either way. I won't get more money either way. So to finish everything, to make it feel good, to make it something I'm proud of, I chose to take longer to make it better.
I am fully aware I will lose a significant amount of my readership for this and it might genuinely affect my career moving forward. But it's what I had to do! So I'm sticking to my guns on it, and I'm confident long term it'll be worth it. It never could have been this good if I didn't take this much time.
#asks#steakandpeanutbuttersandwiches#I'm SO sorry youre new and you asked me such a benign question and I responded with... this... LMAO#I swear to god I tried to make it as short as possible#theres just a lot auauuaghkhgjk#basically. way too much work. not enough money.#so it either is gonna be good and take longer or be worse but come back faster#and I chose to take longer#so.#I'm really sorry and I wish that this decision didn't also come with the... pretty much guarantee that it will negatively impact my career.#I will lose readers. I will lose potential readers for my future work. it looks bad on me as a creator to take such a big break. etc. etc.#but it's good. it's so good. you have to trust me it's like the best stuff Ive ever written#it. ok well to be honest#it'll probably feel extremely simple and extremely natural#but it's been SO much work LMAO#I am not exaggerating I have written over 200 pages of scapped ideas to get to where it is#I'm sure it won't make sense why it took so long while reading but you gotta trust me LMAO#ideally it doesnt even 'feel' different right. cause its gotta be cohesive with the whole thing#but there is SO MUCH TO WRAP UP#THERES SO MUCH#and to make that feel natural in this little space oh my GOD it is so hard#ok omfg I'm doing it again I'm going on way too long again IM SO SORRY#YOURE NEW HERE AND IM DOING THIS IMMEDIATELy#this is like 90% for my followers who I know are curious about this and I'm just using you as a jumping off point to talk about it#cause I don't really like to make standalone posts very often#I likely will make some kind of official announcement about it when the date is extremely set in stone#right now I think it's still only tentatively scheduled so it could still change#and I'll say something more... refined and restrained... then.#but for now this is like. actually everything. I think#I'm sure I forgot something but whatever lmfao
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kindaasrikal · 1 month ago
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How tf did this fanfic actually reach 5k words already on chapter one and its not even half way completed.
The things i do for morro 😭
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6ebe · 2 months ago
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James corden coming back now this have we not suffered enough 😞
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seventh-district · 3 months ago
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again and again i find myself lamenting that audio roleplay isn't taken more seriously by some people. like yeah, they often have a romantic element, and by nature they usually directly involve/address the listener- and i totally get that those things aren't to everyone's taste. no art or entertainment is universally appealing, and that's okay! but.. it still makes me a lil sad that the "cringe" reputation of asmr/audio rp precedes it. there's a whole lot of talent and creativity being poured into these audios by so many people that i feel goes unrecognized and/or disrespected simply due to the medium that the stories are being told through.
#this post brought to you by: me bingeing Sam & Darlin's entire storyline over the past few days and having a Lot of feelings abt it#asmr#audio roleplay#rp audio stuff#redacted audio#anyways i don't have a conclusion to this post. and i'm not Mad or Upset or anything i'm just thinkin' out loud#and i mean it's not like it doesn't get plenty of praise within its respective audience bc it does. at least for the more popular creators#but i feel it'll still always have the shadow of its cringe reputation looming over it#which makes it hard for some ppl to openly appreciate or share with others that aren't already fans of the medium#like do u know how many comments i've seen along the lines of 'this is great but i'd die if anyone knew i liked this kinda stuff' ?? :(#idk maybe i feel strongly about it bc i'm a self-insert fanfic writer. and i feel like the two have a lot in common. including a bad rep.#like. not every audio will be well-written or produced and neither will every fanfic. but that doesn't mean it's a less legitimate artform#and i'm lucky to have never (yet) received negative comments on my work. but that doesn't mean that it doesn't make me sigh when people-#-say shit like 'this reads like fanfiction' as a way of calling something bad. or other similar sentiments that make the same implication#and i wouldn't be surprised if audio creators feel the same way when they encounter certain comments or statements#like. those YT videos where ppl will 'try bf asmr for the first time' or whatever and it's just 20 mins of cringing and over-reacting? eugh#tbf i haven't watched many bc why do that to myself. so Maybe there's some that are respectful but still. imagine getting roasted like that#and yes yes i know that by posting stuff online you're inadvertently sighing up to be criticized by Anyone but still. man. i dunno#i'm going on a tangent but my point is. i'm grateful for the creators that still make their art in spite of the public's perception of it#bc some of the most impactful emotional experiences i've ever gained from fiction took place in audio rp and i'm so serious abt that.#anyways. this post almost feels like i'm 'making up a person to be mad at' but i promise it's not that serious i'm just yapping. mostly.#certainly not trying to start any kind of debate or anything either i just have a lot of fixation-induced energy and nowhere to put it#this is Eric's fault (/lh) for cooking Sam up in a lab catered exactly to my taste and making Darlin' waaaaay too painfully relatable#but it's also My fault for bingeing the Inversion /and/ the Quinn arc /and/ the Summit all within a couple days. but i can't help myself#feels like i've run an emotional marathon. triathlon. The Emotional Olympics if u will. i'm feeling Everything#who knew that beating the shit out of ur fictional abuser could feel so goddamn cathartic! it's a nice replacement when u can't do it irl#anyways i'm off on a tangent again. thanks for coming to my TED Talk i'm gonna crawl back in my hole now#actually i'm gonna go relisten to a few audios. as Research for my Sam & Darlin' playlist as well as a post i'll be making about it soon#u Know i've got it bad when i not only make a playlist but start Posting on here about the songs that remind me of them. i'm cooked guys.
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snekdood · 4 months ago
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make your mean spirited jokes about men all you want but byeeeeeeeeee
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manlymothman · 10 months ago
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n let's not even get STARTED on the actual Fucked Up shit staff refuses to acknowledge on this hell site. people promoting actually pedo/zoo/necrophilia, promoting incest, posting straight up porn, people doxxing others and spreading death threats and hate mail. but god forbid a trans woman dare to exist. what the hell.
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transgendercastiel · 2 years ago
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There have been studies done that show how many autistics, even if not aware of their autism, know that there is something different about them from a young age.
I resonate with this personally, as I always felt a sense of alienation from my peers (if you can call them that), whether this was enforced by other’s actions or their reactions to my own. I believed that there was something different about me, dreamt that in reality I was some alien put on this earth by accident, and would be swept away into space to meet a species that finally understood me. As I got older, and those my age became more exclusionary and judgemental towards me, the belief that I was different changed from a neutral fact to something with wholly negative connotations. I wasn’t ‘different’, I was wrong. Over time, these beliefs were ingrained into how I interacted with the world. By the time I found out I was autistic it was already too late.
While I of course understand the perspective of those parents who wish not to label their children, I honestly believe that they will end up labelling themselves anyway. It’s just that instead of ‘autistic’, it will end up being ‘weirdo’, or ‘broken’, or ‘mistake’.
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nyxdimandis · 9 months ago
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with the full disclaimer that i might be missing some context or significant piece of information & am fully welcoming anyone to inform me, i feel like. it really just doesn't seem like a huge deal that one of the "poison" storyboard artists is into "dark" kink. like this really feels like a non-issue to me
#tw sa mention#<- this is the only tag im putting on here cause i dont wanna get jumped#but like. idk. i feel like this is really just coming from people who don't..... understand how kink works?#and to preface im ace im not into kink im DEFINITELY not into hard/dark kink#but like ...... noncon is a whole genre of fanfic. cnc isn't an unpopular fetish. people who are into either of those things aren't#saying they find real life instances of assault to be hot. its fiction. its a fictional fantasy that in plenty of contexts is being#projected onto exclusively fictional characters#it sits super badly with me that people say 'you shouldnt let people with these kinks work on this show/hire these people' because#the sex lives of your employees being a deciding factor in what you allow them to work on seems. hm. really fucking weird ??#and ALSO also this person was JUST a storyboarder. they literally cannot be 'glorifying' or 'romanticizing' or whatever because#they are only STORYBOARDING they do not control the actual writing direction of the issue or#how it is framed by the narrative or handled within the writing#and the writing of hazbin hotel very clearly and repeatedly says 'hey this is a really bad thing that impacts angel super negatively and#he is all but verbatim saying he hates it and it is destroying him from the inside out'#and again i AM open to being corrected on this if there's some crucial info i'm missing or whatever and i DO think#there ARE glaring issues with the treatment of the subject of sa/harassment within the show#im not even going to get into the viv drama on twitter about this because. jesus christ#but. idk. i feel like this detail gets dragged on SOOOO fucking much when there are MUCH more productive discussions we could be having#mine
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deathbind · 9 months ago
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Here's a selection of spells from The Complete Sha'ir's Handbook that I think are just fucking cool
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bookwyrminspiration · 2 years ago
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gradually reteaching myself to be more direct and blunt again, which is relieving because I prefer being clear and direct, but terrifying because I untaught myself this as a kid for a reason
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deanpinterester · 2 years ago
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sometimes i see a Bad Post and start typing up a response to it but then i remember that they're probably on a whole different side of tumblr seeing a whole different set of posts so like. what do any of us gain by me jumping onto the post
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dailybaizhu · 2 years ago
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49: celebrating our annual second of screentime!! :D
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hex-flareheart · 1 year ago
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To be angry with others being treated better than yourself is but natural. Such a thing is unfair, and unjust, after all.
But to blindly direct that anger towards those treated better is foolish, for often they hold no fault in your suffering.
Look instead to those who purposely treat you worse, who reward your loyalty to them through pitiful, deficient, outdated means, knowing full well they could treat you better, but refuse to.
Look to those who utter proven lies, who withhold resources and build shoddy, deficient systems, all so they can enrich themselves, rather than you or anyone else. They are the ones that deserve your anger.
Perhaps these may not be distinct groups. Sometimes those who are treated better and those who purposely treat you poorly are one and the same. But sometimes they are not.
Knowing the difference, and knowing who should truly be held accountable, is where true wisdom lies.
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nullians · 2 years ago
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I sometimes still catch myself thinking “Man, I just wanna die” (I know this is not true) but then I see my mother and go “No, I just wanna live without these people around me” and then I do one dig deeper and make peace with what I really mean and that’s “I have to outlive you because I fucking deserve to have a life outside of this bullshit” and yeah. Much better. It doesn’t help that both of them (grandmother and mother) like to occasionally tell us their dying scenarios. Like. Thanks. Can you like. Try to not make my desire to flee worse. Because I don’t want to wish you death but it’s like. Not going to get better if you just do this. Get help.
#d0 stuff#negative#we had an argument about the dishes again#and to all of the veterans here: yes I know this has been going on for as long as this tumblr exists#it’s just. still a problem. an unending cycle because I fucking Hate my parents’ guts and it’s actually not about the dishes or house#chores or anything like that. it’s about how they care so much about dumb things there are solutions to (not perfect maybe but not#disastrous either) and not care nearly enough about the human component. mental health? non existent. fatigue? just an excuse. permanent#debuffs? I’m making shit up. how can I suffer bc of them? that’s unheard of#circus family time#there is my fault in there and that’s letting my resentment seep so deep that#I regularly let it impact my actual house chores doing but you know#it’s like. I’ve wanted to be good for them. but they will never see me like that. the moment I showed anything weird they went on forceful#correcting instead of listening to what I had to say#they are all people caring more about reputations and facades than their own children/family members’ well-being#it’s infuriating#they are all fake#and idk. like. I could do better. I should do better I know. but it’s just goddamn hard to do things and get yelled at and then turn around#and see how they gush about my brother doing basically anything (the bare minimum after they told me to go remind him multiple times) or#how they literally take so much bs from anyone outside of the family#I swear. Some stranger’s potential opinion about them matters more than if their children feel hurt or not#anyways. this back and forth that’s been going on since my early teens is the reason I can’t just#do things for them without it feeling like a monumental task#like. I’m an acts of service person ffs. but I can’t do that. not for them#lmfao okay that’s enough whining for today#tho it’s funny how they will always be like ‘you have to control yourself no matter the situation’ and when we start arguing it’s always#them telling me to shut up (despite me keeping a calm tone) and them shooting me with literally all ammunition they can think of#fun right#and then there’s always this funny thing when they scream that I don’t even care about them do I#and that’s hilarious bc I do. Guess who literally deals with the worst of medical crises and who fucking keeps half of their energy to be#the guard dog. yeah but I don’t love you (anymore) and bc of that I’m a monster? lmao
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